>Enter neighboring house.
You proceed to enter the house, only to be greeted by another OVER-ENTHUSIASTIC MOTHER. You are about to leave the house when she spoke to you. You tuned out, as you have no time to give any weight to such a mother's incoherent babbling. You did pick up that she had a DAUGHTER, and decided it would be worth it to check it out. Confused as to why this mother would allow you to be in her DAUGHTER'S room alone with her, you walked upstairs.
There was no DAUGHTER in sight, but you did discover a POKE-BALL. You had plans to steal it and jump out the window, but the ball was unfortunately empty. Dissapointed, you made your way out of the room.
This caught you off guard. Upon seeing the girl, you made a mental choice to upgrade DAUGHTER to ATTRACTIVE WOMAN. Unknowing of your recent edits, the ATTRACTIVE WOMAN introduced herself as MAY. You introduced yourself as PLUTARCH HEAVENSBEE, much to your dismay. It was due to your HORMONAL RAGINGS. She told you that she would go outside to catch some POKEMON, and left you to do whatever you liked.
>Check out DAT POPPIN BOOTY
You don't ever pass up on no BOOTY.
>Leave House and Talk to ANNOYING BRAT
The ANNOYING BRAT was whining about being scared of something, but you realized you had no idea why you were standing there listening to it. You picked the brat up and set her atop a NICE TREE. The understanding tree nodded solemnly as the ANNOYING BRAT screamed for help. Thank god for the NICE TREES of the world.
>Go for a stroll
Apparently, this ODD LOOKING HOBO had other plans. The man was calling to you and pointing to a bag nearby viciously. The BROWN BAG looked normal enough, and you vaguely recalled your MOTHER telling you something about a PROFESSOR living in this village.
>Trust the HOBO and look in BAG
The insides of the BROWN BAG surprised you: Three POKEMON. They looked rare, which confirmed that the HOBO was actually a PROFESSOR. He yelled at you to choose one.
>Choose TORCHIC and dominate WILD POKEMON
You had no idea what a TORCHIC was. The POKEMON you had chosen was a DEMENTED FIRE CHICKEN. Your DEMENTED FIRE CHICKEN continued to DOMINATE the WILD POKEMON. Your newfound POKEMON left the battle unscathed & victorious.
>Collect MONEY from PROFESSOR
For a reason you don't understand, the CHEAP PROFESSOR offered you no MONEY, only a HALF-HEARTED THANK YOU and an invitation to your lab, which you took as a place of which he took children to SEXUALLY FONDLE. You did notice a VERIFICATION CARD on the PROFESSOR'S COAT which confirmed that he was in fact a legitimate PROFESSOR. Still, you kept your PEPPER SPRAY handy.
>Follow PROFESSOR to LAB
Although the situation seemed dangerous at first, the PROFESSOR'S gadgets and other items around the LAB assured you that he was not, in fact, going to SEXUALLY FONDLE you. For some reason, you apparently were unable to nickname your DEMENTED FIRE CHICKEN by yourself, as the PROFESSOR had offered you to nickname it.
>Nickname DEMENTED FIRE CHICKEN
...Where do you get these ideas.
>Embark on Adventure
Not yet. The PROFESSOR explained to you that before leaving the town of LITTLEROOT you must find the ATTRACTIVE WOMAN and battle her.
>Enter OLDALE TOWN
After hearing this sentence, you immediately deemed OLDALE TOWN as a RAPIST HEADQUARTERS. You weren't sure if you were being overly cautious or righteous in your assumption, but you didn't care. You slowly walked away from the ODD CLERK and continued to the next area. You saw the ATTRACTIVE WOMAN and made your way towards her.
>Proceed to check out DAT POPPIN BOOTY
It sure is hard to pass this POPPIN BOOTY up.
>Get slapped by ATTRACTIVE WOMAN and begin BATTLE
The UNCALLED FOR SLAP stung for a while, but you had a BATTLE to win and managed to forget about the pain. The ATTRACTIVE WOMAN was probably a commendable trainer, being the PROFESSOR'S DAUGHTER.
>Spam Scratch with CORN