Thread: [Let's Play] HOMESTUCK Emerald [Rated T]
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Old August 13th, 2013, 03:31 PM
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...

*LOADS*

>Demolish GYM TRAINERS with FAP



They simply didn't pose a threat to FAP'S LIQUID BLAST OF DEATH. More commonly referred to as WATER GUN.

>Face ROXANNE

Let's do this!

>Remember your entire team is weak to NOSEPASS

...Idiot.

>Evolve CORN



Now we're talking.

>Face ROXANNE



>Destroy GEODUDES with FAP



Now that's what I'm talking about.

>Abuse CORN'S adult form to win



You could have put it in a nicer way, though.

>Leave RUSTBORO TOWN



You attempted, but a MAGICAL INVISIBLE WALL kept you from leaving the gym's grounds. You looked over to see the FANCY MAN yelling at a man that looked like he was COSPLAYING AS A PIRATE.

>Check it out



The FANCY MAN stopped you from checking it out on your own, and described to you that the PIRATE COSPLAYER was actually yet another member of TEAM AQUA who had stolen his GOODS.

>Ask if you wanted kids at some point

The FANCY MAN looked confused, and explained to you that the GOODS were referring to his GENITALIA. You nodded your head calmly, as if you were testing him all along.

>Go to battle TEAM AQUA GRUNT



You're about to enter the cave when this FAT JOLLY MAN stops you and begins to whine to you that his PRECIOUS PEEKO was stolen by a CONNIVING PIRATE. You began to consider what PEEKO meant, and decided without asking that it wasn't OLD PEOPLE LINGO for GENITALIA.

>Endure PIERCING SCREECH from FAT JOLLY MAN



Turns out that FAT JOLLY MAN isn't so JOLLY. You're not sure how your EARDRUMS survived that.

>Enter CAVE.

You enter and... It's the same grunt as before.

>Become TEAM AQUA GRUNT.



You are now TEAM AQUA GRUNT. You've just stolen a DEFENSELESS OBESE OLD PERSON'S PEEKO, whatever that means. It looked like a NORMAL WINGULL to you. You got ANGRILY SPANKED by your GRUNT LEADER after failing to steal the GOODS earlier, but now that you've got them, you stupidly ran into a CAVE WITH NO EXIT. Now this DRAG QUEEN - wait a second. It's that same punk that beat you in the woods!!

>GARBLE INCOHERENT NONSENSE



Wait, what?

>Drop all priorites and rashly challenge DRAG QUEEN TRAINER



Will you ever learn?

>Become RILEY.



You are now RILEY. You just watched the TEAM AQUA GRUNT shed a tear and run past you without another word. The JOLLY FAT MAN hurried over to you and what you assumed to be PEEKO. The MAN offered you to stop by his HUMBLE ABODE later, and before your brain considered it to be a RAPIST TRAPHOLE you smiled and thanked him.

>Bring GOODS to FANCY MAN.



You handed them over, the FANCY MAN sporting a huge smile.

>Accept GRACIOUS REWARD OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS



Instead, the FANCY MAN decided to give you some MORE BALLS. You quickly put them in your bag to show how happy you were, but turned around and made a PUKEY FACE to express your feelings.

>Get RAPED



Well, it certainly sounds like you will.

>False alarm.



Stop scaring me like that, will you?!

>Meet PRESIDENT



You tried to listen to the PRESIDENT, but all you really could do was admire his MAJESTIC MUSTACHE. You slightly recall him and the FANCY MAN giving you some IMPORTANT TASKS, but you had already forgotten them. Silly you!

>See ATTRACTIVE WOMAN.



Come on, give her some respect! MAY looked happy to see you. I mean, what woman wouldn't be happy to take a gander at your STRIKING BOD?

>Get Challenged by MAY



It seems that ADMIRING FROM AFAR is not MAY'S thing.

>Destroy MAY'S TEAM



There were no survivors. Well, except your POKEMON.

>SAVE



WAIT.

>Check out DAT POPPIN' BOOTY



Aw yeah.

...

*SAVES*


--

Hopefully that wasn't too boring of an update for you guys. Enjoy!
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