The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]
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January 28th, 2014 (8:13 PM).
never eat raspberries
Join Date: Aug 2013
I've been reading a couple of the posts here and thought I'd add my input, so I guess I'll be joining. I'm not entirely qualified to give advice on some of these matters, but I assume different perspectives are welcome?
Originally Posted by
Okay, I am in need of some advice over some issues at hand here.
First off I will re-introduce myself to give a taste of the situation at hand: I am a male to female transsexual who is not very far in transition at all. I’m only three months into HRT I've done some voice work (I still sound like a guy though.) I am still very boyish in my looks, and I’m still pretty gender-neutral in the ways of dressing.
My therapist suggests the time has come for me to make some friends around here for once, and so, wants me to go to this LGBT center during its drop-in hours and try to meet (and hopefully befriend) some fellow MTFs. If not this, try to go to a support group for those in my age range. While to some people this might seem like no big deal, I have some things about me that make it a huge issue:
• I have been a social recluse for over seven years, so as a result, I don’t know how to start conversations with people about almost anything. I am almost always a skittish disaster when I try to talk to people (aside from work and other obligations.) I made absolutely no friends in high school, and only made a few middle school acquaintances who I don’t keep in contact with anymore. I seriously only have one friend in person that I only get to see rarely, and we seldom discuss my problems.
• I’m very scared to open up to most people because I’m worried of the possibility of leaving disastrous trail behind me. When I do open up to someone, however, it is an extremely slow process and I tend to shy away from everyone who tries to start a conversation with me. It’s interesting since I like having fewer, yet closer friendships. I understand that the biggest thing about me (being trans) is not that much of a big deal in a situation like this, but the anxiety still follows me. Plus, there are a bunch of other quantities of me I only share with my boyfriend because of how high-tension silence inducing they can be, so I guess that’s a thing (I have had on and off phases of misanthropy and nihilism in my early teen years.)
Even with all this mind, I really want to go, but…the problem is that I’m very scared. I’ve told her (my therapist) about this, but I’ve been told that transitioning may be far more difficult if I don’t at least try. It’s the unknown to me, which I think is the scariest part about it.
So…what the hell do I do? Do I try overcome my fears and try to be friends with some people, or do I sit here and wait for things to come to me? I know I want to do the former, but for the love of god I don’t have any idea how!
I say you go. Whether it's something like a support group or LGBT center, I think being around other people who are in the same boat will help. You don't necessarily need to share your life story, maybe take awhile to listen to others and just become comfortable in that sort of environment. Eventually, familiarity will sink in an you can start opening up to other people, who should welcome you and be respectful of you fears and anxiety. You don't have to strike up conversations right away, and perhaps you'll meet other people who feel the same way.
Originally Posted by
Since you've been out of socialization of course it will take a while, but I think that after a while it will start to be easier and come back, so I say go. Nothing to lose
On my side of things, new blog post coming soon... I'm at a complete loss of what to do.
EDIT: Blog post is out.
I guess I don't know the severity of the parent situation, but I've always "been a fan" of explaining yourself to them. If you are truly depressed that's something that would be of concern to them, and if they were to kick you out, or anything to that effect, that would, in all reality, exacerbate the situation. This is where my limited scope of the situation comes into play. I don't want to say that "if they love you they'll accept you", but honestly, I expect that if a parent sees their child suffering, they'll do their best to try and comfort them.
If something like being kicked out or rejected is a real possibility, make sure you stay positive. Go get that license, try to get a job. If 4 months is all it takes, then don't stress out. You should see this time in your life as working towards your eventual goal, instead of being stuck, because although you may not be on hormones, you're still crafting a new life. You've already made tremendous progress, and although it may not be physical, let the prospect of a better life be the motivator.
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