- Do you know who Earl is... Me neither... That's too bad.
- If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and take a nap and people come and nail up both sides and take you to another city, boy, I dont know what to tell you.
- There was this girl at the musuem and she asked me whom I liked better Monet or Manet? I said I liked mayonaise. She just stared at me. I said it again louder, then she left. I thought she went to get me some mayonaise, but she never came back.
- I rember when my great uncle Jerry used to sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat, out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost the same execpt it had bumpy whittle marks all over. And no paint because he had whittled off all the paint.