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The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

Shining Raichu

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.
8,959
Posts
13
Years
OK guys, listen up.

I haven't been totally honest with any of you. I've given you all the impression over the last nearly a year since this LGBT Club has been running that I was 'out'. The truth is that while all my friends and my uncle and aunt (who are the only extended family we actually speak to) know the truth, my parents and sister do not.

When I joined the LGBT Club there were people joining who were far younger than me who were already completely out and proud, and so I thought "God, I'm 20 and I'm still in the closet, how pathetic is that". I was ashamed, so I decided to just say that I was out in the hope that I soon would be and I wouldn't be lying for long. Also, I don't have the smoothest of relationships with my family and try to avoid them as far as possible anyway, so I don't consider their reaction of all that much importance to me - my not telling them is more an exercise in drama avoidance than actual fear of what they think of me - so in my mind, since the people I do care about knowing already know, in my mind I am out. But after a conversation I just had with the one person from PC to whom I did tell the truth at the time, it feels wrong to keep up the illusion. And since I've become the owner of the club in the meantime, it feels extra wrong to keep lying to you.

So while I do feel like I'm out of the closet and live that way most of the time, technically I'm not. I feel really foolish and I'm really sorry I lied to you all; I hope that this doesn't change the friendships I've made here.
 

-Jared-

Certified Responsible Adult
1,818
Posts
15
Years
Shining Raichu said:
OK guys, listen up.

I haven't been totally honest with any of you. I've given you all the impression over the last nearly a year since this LGBT Club has been running that I was 'out'. The truth is that while all my friends and my uncle and aunt (who are the only extended family we actually speak to) know the truth, my parents and sister do not.

When I joined the LGBT Club there were people joining who were far younger than me who were already completely out and proud, and so I thought "God, I'm 20 and I'm still in the closet, how pathetic is that". I was ashamed, so I decided to just say that I was out in the hope that I soon would be and I wouldn't be lying for long. Also, I don't have the smoothest of relationships with my family and try to avoid them as far as possible anyway, so I don't consider their reaction of all that much importance to me - my not telling them is more an exercise in drama avoidance than actual fear of what they think of me - so in my mind, since the people I do care about knowing already know, in my mind I am out. But after a conversation I just had with the one person from PC to whom I did tell the truth at the time, it feels wrong to keep up the illusion. And since I've become the owner of the club in the meantime, it feels extra wrong to keep lying to you.

So while I do feel like I'm out of the closet and live that way most of the time, technically I'm not. I feel really foolish and I'm really sorry I lied to you all; I hope that this doesn't change the friendships I've made here.
Click to expand...

My opinion? Don't worry about it! And besides, you're more out than I am so I would consider you to be officially out, especially compared to me. xD

So yeah, no worries man. -nods-
 

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>
3,077
Posts
15
Years
Shining Raichu said:
OK guys, listen up.

I haven't been totally honest with any of you. I've given you all the impression over the last nearly a year since this LGBT Club has been running that I was 'out'. The truth is that while all my friends and my uncle and aunt (who are the only extended family we actually speak to) know the truth, my parents and sister do not.

When I joined the LGBT Club there were people joining who were far younger than me who were already completely out and proud, and so I thought "God, I'm 20 and I'm still in the closet, how pathetic is that". I was ashamed, so I decided to just say that I was out in the hope that I soon would be and I wouldn't be lying for long. Also, I don't have the smoothest of relationships with my family and try to avoid them as far as possible anyway, so I don't consider their reaction of all that much importance to me - my not telling them is more an exercise in drama avoidance than actual fear of what they think of me - so in my mind, since the people I do care about knowing already know, in my mind I am out. But after a conversation I just had with the one person from PC to whom I did tell the truth at the time, it feels wrong to keep up the illusion. And since I've become the owner of the club in the meantime, it feels extra wrong to keep lying to you.

So while I do feel like I'm out of the closet and live that way most of the time, technically I'm not. I feel really foolish and I'm really sorry I lied to you all; I hope that this doesn't change the friendships I've made here.
Click to expand...
No way, that doesn't change a thing. I always say that I'm out, because I've told everyone that's important to me, (In my case that's just my parents, and no other family members.) and I honestly kind of think that that's all that matters. So, you're more out than I am, honestly. lol
 
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[Snivy Baroque]

Shinigami Snivy
37
Posts
12
Years
after coming out I definately changed, I think I lost some of the self esteem I once had, that was the biggest change, since I basically became a human welcome mat :(
 

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>
3,077
Posts
15
Years
QuilavaKing said:
Eh, well honestly no... not really. Especially considering it's the first dream I've had about it. I have thought about it irl on several occasions though, and determined that I was not. I mean I don't act feminine in the slightest, but I'll admit I've been a little curious for awhile now... and I catch myself glancing over at the girl's clothes section on occasion. Stuff like that. I do think that it is possible for dreams to tell you about things that you aren't consciously aware of, though I don't think this is likely to be one of those cases. The dream was too silly. :P (I mean in the other case I mentioned, I was literally having nightmares about having sex with girls, even though I thought I was straight. lol)

I also do find trans girls (Is there a better term for it? lol) very attractive. Much much much much much more so than regular girls. So, that also may be the reason for it. (That wasn't what the dream was about though. It was specifically about becoming one, not getting in their pants... or skirts rather. Though I will admit that I had a second dream in the same day that was about getting in their skirts... so to speak. lol)
Click to expand...
Just thought of something more to add...

This may seem really odd, but when I was younger (I recall I was playing WoW while thinking about it at one point, and I started that in 06 or 07, so I was at least 14/15, but more likely 16 or 17. Yes, my mind works in very strange ways sometimes. lol) I used to want to be gay for some reason. It makes absolutely no sense, but I actively wished I were a girl, so I could be gay without having to like guys. (And yet, I somehow ended up liking guys after all.)

I don't know either. I'm just weird. I say that I'm content with being gay and all that stuff, but I don't understand one bit of it... I'm just going with the flow, lol. I really need to stop talking about this stuff though, because it's making me remember things like this, which totally undermines me saying that I used to be 100% straight (or maybe it doesn't, because I still wanted to like girls?)... but I had honestly completely forgotten.

Anyway, I'm gonna go to bed now, before my brain explodes.
 

Briar

how do you make coffee sexy?
294
Posts
12
Years
seeing as a lot of people have already shared some of their personal, lgbtq-related experiences here, i do feel a bit obliged to share news of my own.
just today, we've had our university student council elections... and guess who was voted as the next school year's chairperson (student council president, if you will) and vice chairperson ("vice president")? a transgirl and an openly bisexual girl.
i, of course, know that my university's quite broad-minded, but it's really news like these (proud members of the lgbtq community claiming influential positions) that give me hope for change.


QuilavaKing said:
Also, I have a question... After coming out, did you change at all?
Click to expand...
no, not really. i've only technically come out to only two of my friends, so... yeah.
i guess i've only been talking more openly about how i find other girls attractive?
 
Esper

Esper

10,769
Posts
14
Years
QuilavaKing said:
I also do find trans girls (Is there a better term for it? lol) very attractive. Much much much much much more so than regular girls. So, that also may be the reason for it. (That wasn't what the dream was about though. It was specifically about becoming one, not getting in their pants... or skirts rather. Though I will admit that I had a second dream in the same day that was about getting in their skirts... so to speak. lol)
Click to expand...
I love that you find trans girls attractive. You have no idea how good it feels (well, maybe you do, lol). I wish there were more of you out there. Wait, maybe there are.

Shining Raichu said:
OK guys, listen up.

I haven't been totally honest with any of you. I've given you all the impression over the last nearly a year since this LGBT Club has been running that I was 'out'. The truth is that while all my friends and my uncle and aunt (who are the only extended family we actually speak to) know the truth, my parents and sister do not.

When I joined the LGBT Club there were people joining who were far younger than me who were already completely out and proud, and so I thought "God, I'm 20 and I'm still in the closet, how pathetic is that". I was ashamed, so I decided to just say that I was out in the hope that I soon would be and I wouldn't be lying for long. Also, I don't have the smoothest of relationships with my family and try to avoid them as far as possible anyway, so I don't consider their reaction of all that much importance to me - my not telling them is more an exercise in drama avoidance than actual fear of what they think of me - so in my mind, since the people I do care about knowing already know, in my mind I am out. But after a conversation I just had with the one person from PC to whom I did tell the truth at the time, it feels wrong to keep up the illusion. And since I've become the owner of the club in the meantime, it feels extra wrong to keep lying to you.

So while I do feel like I'm out of the closet and live that way most of the time, technically I'm not. I feel really foolish and I'm really sorry I lied to you all; I hope that this doesn't change the friendships I've made here.
Click to expand...
I wouldn't worry about not being 'out' if it doesn't cause you stress or other problems. As much as it's a part of who you are, it's not like everyone you know and talk to has to know every detail about you, right? Since we're getting all confessional I want to say that I'm not out either, at least to most people I talk to. I never really say clearly much about myself, but I'm only really honest with a few close people. When I'm out in the world, at work or whatever, I'm essentially a guy and I don't make any attempt to make people think otherwise, not really. All of my girl clothes I wear only around the house. The most I usually do in public is wear nail polish. Nail polish. That's how much I'm out to the world. It does, sometimes, make me sad, but for the most part I try to just enjoy what I do have and be who I want to be in the privacy of my own space.

QuilavaKing said:
Just thought of something more to add...

This may seem really odd, but when I was younger (I recall I was playing WoW while thinking about it at one point, and I started that in 06 or 07, so I was at least 14/15, but more likely 16 or 17. Yes, my mind works in very strange ways sometimes. lol) I used to want to be gay for some reason. It makes absolutely no sense, but I actively wished I were a girl, so I could be gay without having to like guys. (And yet, I somehow ended up liking guys after all.)

I don't know either. I'm just weird. I say that I'm content with being gay and all that stuff, but I don't understand one bit of it... I'm just going with the flow, lol. I really need to stop talking about this stuff though, because it's making me remember things like this, which totally undermines me saying that I used to be 100% straight (or maybe it doesn't, because I still wanted to like girls?)... but I had honestly completely forgotten.

Anyway, I'm gonna go to bed now, before my brain explodes.
Click to expand...
Yes. Go with the flow. Don't worry about whether you were straight or not straight or anything like that. Almost no one falls into categories perfectly, you know?
 

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>
3,077
Posts
15
Years
Scarf said:
I love that you find trans girls attractive. You have no idea how good it feels (well, maybe you do, lol). I wish there were more of you out there. Wait, maybe there are.
Click to expand...
You're number one in my book. :P

But yeah, I know a ton of people online who do, actually. Though, I met them on a forum specifically for people who like trans girls, so that's not surprising. lol


Also, flow-going is now commencing.

I might look into it more when I'm able to do it privately, (So, never.) and I'll just try not to worry about it until then. Though, I think the fact that I'm thinking about it in the first place, must mean something.
 
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Shining Raichu

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.
8,959
Posts
13
Years
Scarf said:
When I'm out in the world, at work or whatever, I'm essentially a guy and I don't make any attempt to make people think otherwise, not really. All of my girl clothes I wear only around the house. The most I usually do in public is wear nail polish. Nail polish. That's how much I'm out to the world. It does, sometimes, make me sad, but for the most part I try to just enjoy what I do have and be who I want to be in the privacy of my own space.
Click to expand...

Really? I'm not sure why but I always assumed you'd long completed the transition. I've always thought of you as a girl anyway; not even necessarily a trans girl. You've always been a girl in my head and not even that piece of information changes anything. So there's that, for what it's worth :)

Also, thanks to everyone for their understanding about my lying etc :)
 

TwiDragon

The fun shawl be doubled!
367
Posts
12
Years
Oh Scarf, your trans too~
Intresting, xD

I thought I was trans a week ago, but that wasn't the case for me. However, I'd be happy to take the offer of a trans-women/girl to be my bride. I'm polysexual, so it doesn't matter; however I can imagine myself in a better understanding with a transgendered person, as I do like to crossdress still c:

What can I say, skirts, dresses, stockings, make-up, and all that is fun. (I kind of confused this with being trans ._. )
 
Esper

Esper

10,769
Posts
14
Years
I turned the thread into a pity party for me. Bleh. :<

So let me turn things around an announce, in case you haven't heard, that here in the good ol' US of A we have another state that's legalized gay marriage. Everyone give a warm round of applause to the great state of Maryland!

35i7t03.gif

​

But there is reason to be cautious. The legion of bigots is going to try to collect signatures to get a ballot measure approved so they can scramble to get enough time to poison as many media outlets as they can with their hate before the elections in November when they hope people will vote to take away this right. Kinda like what happened to my beloved California 4 almost years ago.
 

TornZero

Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
1,137
Posts
14
Years
._. I REALLY need to post more. I've been missin' out.

@Shining Raichu, we still love you all the same, and you're still more out than plenty of us, myself included.

@QuilavaKing, I have to agree with Scarf. It's great to know there are people attracted to trans-people. Pie for you, or cake if you prefer.

@Maryland, congrats and keep it up!
 

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>
3,077
Posts
15
Years
TornZero said:
@QuilavaKing, I have to agree with Scarf. It's great to know there are people attracted to trans-people. Pie for you, or cake if you prefer.
Click to expand...
Cake Please. :D

Shining Raichu said:
Really? I'm not sure why but I always assumed you'd long completed the transition. I've always thought of you as a girl anyway; not even necessarily a trans girl. You've always been a girl in my head and not even that piece of information changes anything. So there's that, for what it's worth :)
Click to expand...
Yeah, same here. lol

Scarf said:
I turned the thread into a pity party for me. Bleh. :<
Click to expand...
All parties are fun. Pity or otherwise. :P (Besides, I have several pages of this thread dedicated to me, lol. >.>)

Scarf said:
So let me turn things around an announce, in case you haven't heard, that here in the good ol' US of A we have another state that's legalized gay marriage. Everyone give a warm round of applause to the great state of Maryland!
Click to expand...
I love how all these states are legalizing it all at once. Surely this is making a huge impact on other states' opinions.
 
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Shining Raichu

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.
8,959
Posts
13
Years
Scarf said:
But there is reason to be cautious. The legion of bigots is going to try to collect signatures to get a ballot measure approved so they can scramble to get enough time to poison as many media outlets as they can with their hate before the elections in November when they hope people will vote to take away this right. Kinda like what happened to my beloved California 4 almost years ago
Click to expand...

I thought all the crap going on in California was meant to take away people's ability to vote on the rights of minorities because it's unconstitutional. I realise that what happens in California has no bearing in Maryland, but surely the bigots of Maryland can watch or read the news and see what happens when people try to pull that crap. You'd think people would be smarter or at least more gunshy trying to use a tactic that is being smacked down as we speak.
 

Victini

Guest
0
Posts
M-may I join your lovely club...?

I'm in high admiration of groups like these... I really love that you've thrown discrimination out the window here and are open and accepting about yourselves and others...

I wish there were more people in the world like all of you amazing individuals here... ♥
 
Shining Raichu

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.
8,959
Posts
13
Years
Of course, Victini! Welcome aboard! If there were more individuals like us then there'd be no need for groups like these, because being without discrimination would be the norm XD
 

Victini

Guest
0
Posts
Shining Raichu said:
Of course, Victini! Welcome aboard! If there were more individuals like us then there'd be no need for groups like these, because being without discrimination would be the norm XD
Click to expand...

Thank you!!

There w-would still be discrimination in a place like that... but if there were more people like you all, it would make the world much easier to live in. ^/////^
 
Sydian

Sydian

fake your death.
33,379
Posts
16
Years
Yay, more Tini members! :3 And Andy, if that's how you consider yourself to be out, then there's no shame in it. tbh, that sounds pretty out to me, lol. So yeah, like the rest of the club, I say no worries. :)
 

Victini

Guest
0
Posts
Shining Raichu said:
After coming out, did you change at all?
Click to expand...

Ooh, I thought I would go ahead and answer the topic at hand for myself...

I always knew what I was... there was just never a name for it until recently.. and honestly I haven't changed in the slightest, even upon discovering it... I've always been very open about myself in that category. Weirdly enough, no one has ever made a critical remark towards me about it...

.. I feel bad receiving that fortune when many have been way less fortunate...
 
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Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>
3,077
Posts
15
Years
Welcome to the group Victini!

You never actually mentioned what category you fall under though. Would you care to share it with us? :)
 
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