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The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

-ty-

Don't Ask, Just Tell
792
Posts
14
Years
  • Age 32
  • USA
  • Seen May 2, 2015
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

I tend to like more masculine men, but I think it is a MAJOR turn-off when they go on to say that they don't look or appear gay, and they hate how other gay's flaunt their sexuality by acting effeminate. I think that like other minorities, this group wants to put another group beneath them. We see it with other minority groups. I think that it reveals a lot of insecurity with the person's sexuality. I have not seen much with lesbians though. Has anyone heard of "straight acting" lesbians? Lipstick lesbian doesn't necessarily mean that they are actively against masculinity in woman. I guess us gay guys are more b**tchy and mean to each other, haha.
 

Snow Phoenix

The transient snowman
982
Posts
15
Years
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

I tend to like more masculine men, but I think it is a MAJOR turn-off when they go on to say that they don't look or appear gay, and they hate how other gay's flaunt their sexuality by acting effeminate. I think that like other minorities, this group wants to put another group beneath them. We see it with other minority groups. I think that it reveals a lot of insecurity with the person's sexuality. I have not seen much with lesbians though. Has anyone heard of "straight acting" lesbians? Lipstick lesbian doesn't necessarily mean that they are actively against masculinity in woman. I guess us gay guys are more b**tchy and mean to each other, haha.
A lot of things here raised a few furs on my back. I quite frankly am one of those more masculine men xD Or supposively some type of "natural switch" thing or something o.o' But, my "masculinity" stems from my desire to be protective. I want to be strong so that I can back up my hubby and kids and so that I can take care of them. I'm also one of my school's poster child because I'll be graduating with 74 college hours and have a clear and distinctive collegiate path -.- And because of that pressure, I don't really get a chance to act "weak." I would never insult someone based on their own pride, although, I probably wouldn't go for a husband that's too effeminate ^-^' I like tough guys too ;.; Or goofy and plucky kiddos xD But, the point is that not all gays are jerks -.- Though I know plenty who are xD

And for the actual topic: Eh. It's how they choice to act. I won't question their reasoning for it because it's their own choice to act how they wish. Not my type of guy to stress something so unimportant (imo), but I can somewhat relate to wanting to act manly o.o Just because I like being manly and consider it a part of my character xD I just don't go out bragging about it and knocking others around o.o
 
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Saturday's Child

Workin' Hard...
22
Posts
12
Years
Hi, I'd like to join. OH, obvious intention is obvious. I'm all gay and stuff, and I love it. Short and sweet.

In response to the current topic:
Ugh..."straight-acting gay men?" ABSOLUTLEY annoys the hell out of me. I'm sorry, but if you're gay, you should know you're no less of a man as the next (straight) guy. Don't take it personally, but...yeah. That's it.

I'm done.
 

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>
3,077
Posts
15
Years
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

I tend to like more masculine men, but I think it is a MAJOR turn-off when they go on to say that they don't look or appear gay, and they hate how other gay's flaunt their sexuality by acting effeminate. I think that like other minorities, this group wants to put another group beneath them. We see it with other minority groups. I think that it reveals a lot of insecurity with the person's sexuality. I have not seen much with lesbians though. Has anyone heard of "straight acting" lesbians? Lipstick lesbian doesn't necessarily mean that they are actively against masculinity in woman. I guess us gay guys are more b**tchy and mean to each other, haha.
I don't think you can really call that a 'group'. There are just a huge number of different personalities one can have, and being gay really doesn't change that, even if it does conflict with the general gay stereotype. I think that may be part of why people are like that too. They dislike the stereotype, and people who prove it to be true.

Side note:
I've noticed something rather annoying recently. Kids know nothing about Gays. At all. Every single one I've heard talk about the subject either knows absolutely nothing about it, or is extremely homophobic. Usually both. I know they're just kids, but that really reflects badly on their schools/parents. I don't really have a specific question based on this... it's just something that I noticed that annoys me.
 

oocyst

SOFTware
386
Posts
12
Years
Oh I'd like to join by the way.

I can understand why people feel the need to point out that they're masculine. There have been situations where I've been considered less of a guy because I'm gay. Because of that I do sometimes get annoyed because some gay people act effeminate. Some people really are effeminate and I can respect that, but there are exceptions. I sometimes go to these meetings for gays under 18, and more than half of the guys there act b*tchy and I feel like they're being that way because of the stereotype that gay men are effeminate. I feel like they think it's easier to live towards the stereotype because that's how gay men are portrayed. The girls there usually act effeminate, there are a few exceptions to that but not as much as the guys.

Not trying to offend anyone
 

Renii

Se(Renii)ty
83
Posts
12
Years
[...] I've noticed something rather annoying recently. Kids know nothing about Gays. At all. Every single one I've heard talk about the subject either knows absolutely nothing about it, or is extremely homophobic. Usually both. I know they're just kids, but that really reflects badly on their schools/parents. I don't really have a specific question based on this... it's just something that I noticed that annoys me.

You won't believe how true this is and not just for kids, like my English teacher, she explained the meaning of 'pervert' as someone who is gay or effeminate =_=

On the topic of straight acting gays... I don't really think I can judge people by how they behave. I personally think that, while your sexuality does affect your behaviour, behaviour doesn't necessarily have to conform to a stereotype.
On the other hand, when guys (straight acting or straight) really go out of the way to prove their masculinity, it just shows how insecure they are.
For gay guys to do that, it is almost like being closeted.
I've had people tell me to stop acting gay, and to control my hand gestures because that is effeminate (back when I was closeted). It just isn't worth it, feels miserable to stop yourself from behaving in a way that you feel is natural.
 

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.
8,959
Posts
13
Years
Welcome to Saturday's Child and Rednael!

Saturday's Child, I lol'd very hard at "I'm all gay and stuff" XD

How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

I think this all started from fighting stereotypes. The gay community (as a generalisation) became so obsessed with making the ignorant people think that we are not exactly as they think we are, so the more effeminate gay guys that do fit the stereotype began to even be looked down on by others in our very own community. That's my take on it anyway.

Other than that, I think it's no different to straight guys trying to affirm their masculinity. It speaks about insecurity more than anything else. I don't hate them for it; to each their own.
 

Briar

how do you make coffee sexy?
294
Posts
12
Years
hello, i would like to join. i guess you can call me genderqueer as i set my gender here as "male" instead of "female"... but that was a decision made on random. i'm not really genderqueer; just pansexual.

anyway...
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

hnnh. no.
i think personality has nothing to do with sexuality. so what if a gay man acts "straight" (i'm even surprised that this term can be interchanged with the term "masculine"), or effeminate? although i do understand that, since most gay men act effeminate, those who aren't [effeminate] want to free themselves from this stereotype; it can't be helped if people make assumptions about you with their only basis being your sexuality.
 

Snow Phoenix

The transient snowman
982
Posts
15
Years
Welcome to Saturday's Child and Rednael!

Saturday's Child, I lol'd very hard at "I'm all gay and stuff" XD



I think this all started from fighting stereotypes. The gay community (as a generalisation) became so obsessed with making the ignorant people think that we are not exactly as they think we are, so the more effeminate gay guys that do fit the stereotype began to even be looked down on by others in our very own community. That's my take on it anyway.

Other than that, I think it's no different to straight guys trying to affirm their masculinity. It speaks about insecurity more than anything else. I don't hate them for it; to each their own.
Ugh! That reminded me of an essay that I remembered reading in my English book on whether or not the legalization of gay marriage would be a good thing for the gay community. It touched on that. I tried finding it real quick this morning, but I ran out of time and could only find the essay from a few sketchy sources -.-
 

-ty-

Don't Ask, Just Tell
792
Posts
14
Years
  • Age 32
  • USA
  • Seen May 2, 2015
I think I should clarify a bit.

I prefer masculine men, but I don't like when they use the phrase "straight-acting".
I also do not like when they put down other gay men that are "effeminant" or transgender people. Basically the guys that put down everyone else to make themselves look more normative and acceptable.

But yeah, being masculine and accepting of all type of other LBGT people is completely fine, and is a turn-on. And as far as friends go, I don't like hanging out with other gay guys that feel the need to scrutinize other's sexuality and behaviors, because it just shows how negative and insecure they are.
 
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Oryx

CoquettishCat
13,184
Posts
13
Years
  • Age 31
  • Seen Jan 30, 2015
Side note:
I've noticed something rather annoying recently. Kids know nothing about Gays. At all. Every single one I've heard talk about the subject either knows absolutely nothing about it, or is extremely homophobic. Usually both. I know they're just kids, but that really reflects badly on their schools/parents. I don't really have a specific question based on this... it's just something that I noticed that annoys me.

Kids tend to know nothing about anything for the most part. Kids can make fun of the fat kid when they're 10 years old and then grow up a completely normal kid. Although part of it I would say is because LGBT issues are still somewhat viewed as "adult" topics, that have to be either ignored or tiptoed around for kids. When in reality, it should be just as naturally ingrained into a child as the idea of a heterosexual relationship.

Edit: Don't Ask Don't Tell was officially repealed at 12:01 AM today. Enjoy this image of a man who can finally stop lying about who he is and still defend his country.

Spoiler:
 

Alternative

f i r e f l y .
4,262
Posts
15
Years
With the current topic, I don't personally think that your traits, which may seem more common in your average straight man would show off your personality. Same thing for straight people who do things which are usually done by what we define as a stereotypical gay male. Your personality doesn't define your sexuality. But it seems like the question is asking what I think of people who try and wear these "straight" traits just to break the stereotype. My view on that alone would be don't let other people decide who you should be. If people really cared, they'd want you to be you, gay traits or not, rather than someone who isn't into those sorts of things.

confused myself there

Now if you don't mind, I would like to ask a question for those people who would fit the "ally" part better, since we're not all gay here, and some of us stand up for their rights.

How far would you go for supporting a friend who is gay? Like if they were going to a gay bar for the first time and wanted you for moral support, or they invited you to a Marty Gras parade. Where do you draw the line?
 

-ty-

Don't Ask, Just Tell
792
Posts
14
Years
  • Age 32
  • USA
  • Seen May 2, 2015
With the current topic, I don't personally think that your traits, which may seem more common in your average straight man would show off your personality. Same thing for straight people who do things which are usually done by what we define as a stereotypical gay male. Your personality doesn't define your sexuality. But it seems like the question is asking what I think of people who try and wear these "straight" traits just to break the stereotype. My view on that alone would be don't let other people decide who you should be. If people really cared, they'd want you to be you, gay traits or not, rather than someone who isn't into those sorts of things.

confused myself there

Now if you don't mind, I would like to ask a question for those people who would fit the "ally" part better, since we're not all gay here, and some of us stand up for their rights.

How far would you go for supporting a friend who is gay? Like if they were going to a gay bar for the first time and wanted you for moral support, or they invited you to a Marty Gras parade. Where do you draw the line?

I would not draw the line, well unless they invited me to an orgy :/
 
9,535
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 29
  • Seen May 11, 2023
Haha, thanks people! To the topic on hand, I agree with -ty- that gay guys who assert their masculinity like that are pretty much a turn-off, although not always. It can sometimes be attractive having such a manly vibe to them... Yowsers ;3 Even so, effeminate guys do it more for me, it's a mixture of their bodies and their behaviour... They almost seem to need someone rather than want someone - if that makes sense. Of course that's a huge generalisation, but I'm mainly talking from the experience of guys I've met and how they've acted. I don't think there's any real reason to act like that unless it's who you actually are, but it's certainly never okay to make fun of others for their personalities.

By the way - is 'ofcourse' a word...? :L
 

deoxys121

White Kyurem Cometh
1,254
Posts
13
Years
How far would you go for supporting a friend who is gay? Like if they were going to a gay bar for the first time and wanted you for moral support, or they invited you to a Marty Gras parade. Where do you draw the line?

Being not gay myself, I obviously would have to draw the line somewhere. As far as the going to a gay bar, I would have to make it clear that I am only there for moral support, that I am straight, and that I am already in a relationship. With the Mardi Gras parade, I would do that, too, no question. As far as where would I draw the line... if they start to get "into it," I'm leaving the room.
 
10,769
Posts
14
Years
Kids tend to know nothing about anything for the most part. Kids can make fun of the fat kid when they're 10 years old and then grow up a completely normal kid. Although part of it I would say is because LGBT issues are still somewhat viewed as "adult" topics, that have to be either ignored or tiptoed around for kids. When in reality, it should be just as naturally ingrained into a child as the idea of a heterosexual relationship.
Yeah, kids are just ignorant about lots of things so I wouldn't be too upset if they're ignorant about... anything. I bet you could ask them about what heterosexual couples are or something like that and you'd get lots of weird and incorrect answers there, too.

And DADT (Don't Ask Don't Tell) is gone now in America. I guess that's good news. I don't personally care much about the military and don't know anyone in it so it's not as meaningful to me as something like a repeal of DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act) would be. And while I'm throwing out acronyms I'll just mention how ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act) ought to become law here in the States even though I'm lucky to be in one of the states that already bans discrimination based on orientation and identity and it wouldn't change things for me, but at least others, especially those living in the not-as-good parts of the country would get that protection.
 

Kura

twitter.com/puccarts
10,994
Posts
19
Years
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

Being gay should not be about an act. I don't understand people (gay or straight) who go out of their way to pretend they're someone that they're not. Why don't they just be themselves?
 
10,769
Posts
14
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Being gay should not be about an act. I don't understand people (gay or straight) who go out of their way to pretend they're someone that they're not. Why don't they just be themselves?
Shining Raichu sort of brought this up, how there's a general vibe around the gay community to show the world that "hey, we're just like you" and that some people took this message to its extreme. I dunno, I won't judge someone for wanting to assimilate into the dominant culture if they want to. I just hope it's not because they feel they have to.
 

FreakyLocz14

Conservative Patriot
3,498
Posts
14
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  • Seen Aug 29, 2018
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

Being gay should not be about an act. I don't understand people (gay or straight) who go out of their way to pretend they're someone that they're not. Why don't they just be themselves?

"Straight-acting" is an unfortunate term that refers to homosexual or bisexual men that simply don't act in a stereotypical "gay" way. They're not necessarily going out of their way to act that way. That's how the majority of guys who like guys are. They are being themselves.
 

twistedpuppy

Siriusly Twisted
1,354
Posts
15
Years
  • Seen Jul 18, 2015
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

I don't know. It feels like they're mimicing the same behavior as a stereotypical effeminate gay man would. Doesn't make them any more attractive or acceptable in behavior in my eyes. They just need to chill & not let society dictate who they should be. Although I have to be honest, I've never run into this type of person.
 
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