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Pokemon: The Walking Dead [M] (OOC/SU)

Pppgggr

Cheese, for everyone!
198
Posts
12
Years
Ice, I think you misunderstood the part about the "Immunity" when it came to pokerus....There wasn't any malpractice in the industry that would have required police investigation. Pokemon just obtained a natural resistance to the disease overtime. It's like when you get a vaccination. They expose you to the disease in small amounts and so your body builds up a resistence. The same happened with the pokerus.

Also, the undead weren't caused by the industries. Being a microscopic species of pokemon itself, the Pokerus evolved.

Anyways, you're accepted....Just get that part of your history fixed up.
 
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SylveonStar

Sylveon
1,940
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 28
  • Seen Mar 15, 2017
Love the walking dead signing up for this :3

Name: Natasha Reddings

Age: 18

Gender: f

Appearance:
Spoiler:


Personality:
Spoiler:


History:
Spoiler:


Pokemon:
Spoiler:


Pokemon:
Spoiler:


Opening Post:
Spoiler:
 
Last edited:

IceFyr1928

Is now DeathofShadows
758
Posts
11
Years
Cause then you just edit your post as you come up with ideas. My reasoning behind that he would go to the factories/companies is that once their Pokemon started to get sick, they would blame these companies, and report it to the police.

I'll still fix it though
 

SylveonStar

Sylveon
1,940
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 28
  • Seen Mar 15, 2017
It was so that I would have a post to edit in case I got to tired, but I didn't and managed to finish it hope it's ok
 

Pppgggr

Cheese, for everyone!
198
Posts
12
Years
Ok, Genevieve, I have a couple of issues with your signup. First of all are some grammar issues in your opening post that you really need to look out for. You seem to be very fond of comma splicing.

A comma splice is when you take a run-on sentence and combine it with commas.

Natasha sighed looking up at the sky, it was early morning, so most of it was still black, and she could still see the moon and the stars, but on the edge of the horizon, she could see the purple, orange, red and other colors of the sunrise just barely visible.
This one's more subtle but I do see comma splicing here. Several parts of this sentence that are separated by commas should be made into their own sentence. For this first one, I'll show you how to rewrite it:

"Natasha sighed looking up at the sky. It was early morning, so most of it was still black, and she could still see the moon and the stars. On the edge of the horizon, she could see the purple, orange, red and other colors of the sunrise just barely visible."

Here's another, much more prominent comma splice:

With a sigh she glanced to her right at the body of Jarrod, the boy had been foolish, trying to betray her like that during the night, but she had no choice but to kill him, she wasn't going to regret that.

I minus well show you how to rewrite this one as well.

"With a sigh she glanced to her right at the body of Jarrod. The boy had been foolish in trying to betray her like that during the night, but she had no choice other than to kill him. She wasn't going to regret it."


As you can see, I also corrected some of your word usage there.

There are a few other instances of comma splicing. In order to detect these, try reading your post and history aloud and see where you pause. That'll help you decide when it's a new sentence.

I just want you to get ahold of this before I allow you into the roleplay. Run-on sentences make a piece of literature very difficult to read and makes it irritating to interact with this person. There are several other grammar mistakes in there, but I'm not going to be too picky.

Get this fixed and then I'll accept you. I won't be so worried about your grammar once the roleplay actually starts, but others may take issue, so it's best to get ahold of this comma splicing issue now.


On top of this(And I'm not faulting you specifically on this), WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH EVERYONE AND MACHETES AND SWORDS? All three sign-ups I've gotten have involved the characters owning some form of a blade. I did say I accepted melee weapons, but I was for the most-part considering bashing a creature's head in with a pipe or a base-ball bat. I didn't want everyone in the roleplay to be some sort of Samurai.
 

SylveonStar

Sylveon
1,940
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 28
  • Seen Mar 15, 2017
I'll fix it in the morning :) thanks for telling me,

as for the whole blade thing, most people might choose it because it'd be very easy to kill zombies with lol
 

Pppgggr

Cheese, for everyone!
198
Posts
12
Years
The rules have been updated

NO ITEMS THAT ARE MADE SPECIFICALLY TO BE A WEAPON. IF YOU ARE TO USE A MELEE WEAPON, IT MUST BE A NATURAL ITEM FOUND LYING AROUND SUCH AS A BASEBALL BAT, A PIPE, A WOOD AXE, ETC. EVERYONE WHO HAS USED A MACHETE OR SWORD IN THEIR APP MUST REVISE IT
 

Greiger

A mad mind... hehe
2,016
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 32
  • Seen Oct 1, 2023
*Salutes* Done and done. Wrench it is then. :)
 

SylveonStar

Sylveon
1,940
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 28
  • Seen Mar 15, 2017
could I use a fire poker, I could add in the history about her house having a fireplace, that way it'd make sense for it to be there
 

Pppgggr

Cheese, for everyone!
198
Posts
12
Years
Sure.....Just realize that it's not a blade, and it'd be very difficult to keep it hot while on the move.
 

SylveonStar

Sylveon
1,940
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 28
  • Seen Mar 15, 2017
well the points not to keep it hot, it could easily be used to stab, but I plan on having her lose it near the beginning of the rp so she won't have it that long.

Also fixed my Opening Post.
 

Pppgggr

Cheese, for everyone!
198
Posts
12
Years
Ok, we have three accepted applicants and I know one more's on the way....If we can make it to six, I'll submit the IC thread. From there, people can join as they see fit.
 

<Challenger>

Goodbye PC...for now.
2,479
Posts
11
Years
Sounds great! Here's my SU so far!

Name: Clay Barren
Age: 22
Gender: Male

Appearance(Picture can be provided in its place):

Personality:

History:

Pokemon: Grimer-Sewage

Moves(6 Max): Sludge Bomb, Sludge, Toxic, Pound

Opening Post(8-10 lines minimum):
 

Pppgggr

Cheese, for everyone!
198
Posts
12
Years
Ok then Hero, if you're not done within the time frame of 3 hours, I'll review it tomorrow.
 

OrangeNess

Layton Lover
204
Posts
11
Years
Almost done. Just gotta write the opening. :) Is it good so far?

Name: Doug Juniper
Age: 14
Gender: M
Appearance(Picture can be provided in its place): Doug is a small boy,reaching only 4'9". He is usually covered in dirt and has green eyes like his mother, Professor Juniper. He is a semi-tanned boy with lots of acne. He carries around a satchel with him to keep his pokemon and pokedex in.

Personality: Doug is a pokemon researcher. Not really, that's a self-proclaimed title. His goal is to complete the zombie pokedex, a concoction he created himself where it give the usual data, zombie data, and risk of infection. He is super good with computers and loves his pokemon with all his heart.

History(How did you avoid the infection, what was life like leading up to it? 6vlines minimum): Doug was on a vacation to the Kanto region without his mother before the outbreak. He feels like it come so suddenly. He had almost completed the pokedex, before the outbreak. He realized he couldn't scan pokemon that were infected, so he hacked the pokedex he currently had to the title Infectiondex.He ended up in the Pewter Gym, hiding in the attic. He lived on pecha berries,because there was a pecha tree outside the attic that he could just about reach. One day he falls out the window, trying to reach a berry. Just great. He picks up a baseball bat on a nearby field and it has been his friend since then.

Pokemon(2 maximum, types immune to the disease include rock-types and ghost-types. You are not required to have one of these two types, but keep theinfection in mind if you don't.):
Pokemon: Froslass
Nickname: Shadow
Personality: Sneaky and quick would sum her up well.
Level:29
Moves(6 Max): Double Team, Icy Wind, Astonish, Confuse Ray, Ominous Wind, Wake-Up Slap
Opening Post(8-10 lines minimum):
 
Last edited:

Pppgggr

Cheese, for everyone!
198
Posts
12
Years
Ness, Before I even ATTEMPT to look over your SU, you need to make it longer. It's so TINY.

Edit: Oh, and Genevieve, you should have notified me of your changes. Took a while to realize it. Accepted.
 
Last edited:

<Challenger>

Goodbye PC...for now.
2,479
Posts
11
Years
SU UPDATED

Name: Clay. Nuff said.
Age: 22
Gender: Male

Appearance(Picture can be provided in its place): Clay is about 6'4, a relatively average height for someone his age. His figure is very unaverage, however. If you look at him from a distance, he looks like a gorilla. His arms hand down to his knees and his legs are a little short. Even his torso is larger than normal, for it makes up most of his height. Before the infection, people called him Gorilla....Although he despised it. After a while, he began to work out and his long arms began to be extremely strong. These newly strengthened appendages give him an uncanny ability to climb, further proving his nickname. Clay has a mop of dark, greasy hair that stops right above his eyebrows. His eyes are as red as the mineral he was named after. His face in general, is actually quite handsome. His usual clothing includes specialized, dusty blue jeans, that fit him perfectly, and a brown trenchcoat that he keeps random items in for certain emergencies. He wears a backpack to carry all of his stuff in.

Personality:

History:

Pokemon: Grimer-Sewage

Moves(6 Max): Sludge Bomb, Sludge, Toxic, Pound

Opening Post(8-10 lines minimum):
 

Pppgggr

Cheese, for everyone!
198
Posts
12
Years
'kay, Hero. With your next post, just edit the SU and state that you've finished. No need to post multiple copies of your Sign-up sheet.
 
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