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Aerion [OOC + SU] Rated M

MichaelaTheUchiha

Forever Shawol and Aileean
2,082
Posts
14
Years
@MichaelatheUchiha- Raikiri and I just reviewed your SU. There's a few minor alterations we might want you to add.

The first involves this line:

"At sixteen, Zara defeated Gwendolyn's brother for the first time while he was going all out. According to Gwendolyn's brother, Zara was considered a master swordsman. While Gwendolyn's brother still taught her some new tricks, he believed that they were near equals from then on."

The idea of her being an equal to, as you put it, one of the greatest swordsmen in all of Aerion at 16 is pushing it just a bit. I would be happier if you were to change the age just a bit to make it more plausible. Perhaps 18? You may have to increase her age a bit for that. Hope that's not too big of a problem. The idea isn't that we don't want your characters to be powerful. On the contrary. Receiving a summons from the monks already entails you are among the strongest. But we still have to maintain some sort of plausibility.

The second problem really is something that could easily be added to the end of your history. If you can, please include specifically how she was summoned by the monks to Ekilore. Most likely she would be summoned as a representative of the Silver Authority in Ellessar, but I'll leave that up to you. No doubt her renown in helping the Voice in Palaven would attribute to that.

Fix up these things and we'll review your SU again. For now, you're pending.

Changed! :)

I really was debating on Zara being sent as a representative of Palaven, but I decided on sending her as a representative of Ellessar. Shame because I could have really had fun with people from Palaven having..."doubts." ^^;
 
37,467
Posts
16
Years
  • Age 34
  • Seen Jan 2, 2024










the RED MONK
→ Disbeliever of light and dark
; keeper of someworldly faith










Name: Eduard Redstrike (born Eduard Calleous)
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Race: Half-elf
Country of Origin: Ethora, Golden Islands

Appearance:
Spoiler:


Personality:
Spoiler:


History:
Spoiler:


Weapon Preference: His weapons are his Staff of Sun and Moon and his Blade of Disbelief. The former is a strong wooden staff with one thick end shaped like a crescent moon with a green stone solidly fastened. The red monk uses this end to bash enemies. The other end is rather pointy but not pointy enough to be used as some kind of piercing weapon, as Eduard dulls it on the ground all the time using it as a walking stick.

Luckily, he also has the Blade of Disbelief, which is a sword with a remarkably uninteresting sheath, barely decorated with strings of leather. The blade itself has a golden handle with pink and green stones though. As if Eduard would have it any other way. It is a fast, light and sharp sword that he uses when bashing the staff doesn't seem threatening enough. Normally, he then dual wields the two weapons, attacking with the sword in his left hand and defending with the staff in his right hand. Yes, he is left-handed.

Eduard also believes that if he's really in a crisis at some point, the gods will come and save him by granting him powers of divine magic, but he has never yet really been able to perform anything like that.

RP Sample: http://www.pokecommunity.com/showpost.php?p=7377367&postcount=4

Other: just, dergennh

Side: Knights of Ekilore
 

Legend

Kingslayer
1,308
Posts
15
Years
@Red and Michaela: Both SUs look good to me and as far as I am concerned are accepted, so all we need is Supervegeta to give the okay for your characters. Let's hope he doesn't keep us waiting for long.
 

SV

See You Space Cowboy
3,393
Posts
13
Years
  • Seen Feb 7, 2022
@MichaelatheUchiha- Accepted.

@RHCP- I like the background thing you used. How do you do that? Either way, Accepted.

Welcome both of you to the world of Aerion!
 

MichaelaTheUchiha

Forever Shawol and Aileean
2,082
Posts
14
Years
I don't understand how people have background on their posts. I don't understand. PEOPLE GOT MORE HIGH-TECH DURING MY DEATH! xD

Yay, acceptance! ^^
 

Miss Doronjo

Gaiden
4,473
Posts
13
Years
Mmm, these characters are really cool~! It makes me really want to rethink how to create mine~ I was thinking a serious yet smart-ass comic relief kind of character,but there can be so much more~!
 

SV

See You Space Cowboy
3,393
Posts
13
Years
  • Seen Feb 7, 2022
@The warden- We're still accepting SUs. There are still two spots open in the Knights, and 3 spots open in the Mercenaries.

As of now, it seems Xlugon, Claire*, and CWP are going for merc positions, and Retro Bug and hetero are going for knight spots. I'm not sure what Miss D is going for.
 
Last edited:

Xlugon Pyro

Dragon Tamer
308
Posts
16
Years
I'm pretty much done with my sign-up and made important detail oriented edits and updates to her appearance section but I still can't figure out a last name for her. >_<

Her history remains unaltered for the time being pending the ruling on the final paragraph, but if it needs changing just let me know. :) Other than that, everything else is complete and ready for divine judgment! XD
 

SV

See You Space Cowboy
3,393
Posts
13
Years
  • Seen Feb 7, 2022
@Xlugon Pyro- The SU looks great! After talking with the great Raikiri, we figure it'd be best to actually slightly alter the SU in the part we discussed, if that's alright. You can make your own interpretation as to what occurred, as long as the ship does not actually reach land. Also, I don't really see any pet there. Did you decide not to go with that? That's totally fine if you did. So make that slight change, and think of a last name, and then we can accept you!
 

<Challenger>

Goodbye PC...for now.
2,479
Posts
11
Years
I'm gonna move my SU to this page, but I'm still not done yet.

Spoiler:
 

MichaelaTheUchiha

Forever Shawol and Aileean
2,082
Posts
14
Years
Are the majority of non-GM characters part Elf? o-o; Because I feel like this is a reoccurring theme amongst us.
 

MichaelaTheUchiha

Forever Shawol and Aileean
2,082
Posts
14
Years
I'm not a GM, so my opinion doesn't matter. :) I'm just commenting on something that I've noticed. You don't have to change unless the GMs tell you to change. xD
 

Legend

Kingslayer
1,308
Posts
15
Years
Well I really wanted a Dwarf somewhere in there.

The abundance of half elves is not really a problem, but it is an interesting fact about the SUs. I was expecting a lot of elves to be fair though, despite the isolationist attitude of them. You do not have to change your race if you don't want to.

Make the characters you want.
 

Xlugon Pyro

Dragon Tamer
308
Posts
16
Years
Are the majority of non-GM characters part Elf? o-o; Because I feel like this is a reoccurring theme amongst us.

You'd think humans or elves would be most popular, but not seeing dwarves doesn't surprise me.

Anyway, my sign-up is complete now and ready for review! I was contemplating giving her a lynx as a companion but I thought against it as she probably wouldn't be too responsible with pets and isn't supposed to be good with animals. Still, a lynx would be a great addition to the Blue Wildcat's arsenal. :P
 

Legend

Kingslayer
1,308
Posts
15
Years
Xlugon Pyro is accepted. Welcome to Aerion!

With that, if I recall correctly, we have two spots open for the mercenaries and two spots left for the Knights of Ekilore. Looks like spaces are filling up fast! This is getting me all excited!
 
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