Help & Advice Thread

Nihilego · Aug 15, 2013

Amore said:
Are his first and insurance choice both in/outside the Russell Group? Because RG universities get 80% of all research funding, and basically people tend to consider them on these levels: 1. Oxbridge, 2. Russell Group, 3. Everything else. In my experience anyway.

First choice is RG, insurance isn't. It's a shame RG is so glorified since it's based on the achievements of the university rather than the quality of its teaching, but hey ho. That's life I guess. I do feel it's somewhat less gloried when you're actually there than what teachers would have you believe, though. After all - it's their job to push you in that direction. d:

Amore said:
As someone who was really panicked about possibly going through clearing, I would point out this - every decent University is bumping up their grade requirements next year, despite falling numbers of the higher grades being achieved. Is your friend going to achieve even higher than (s)he was predicted initially? If that answer is yes, retake the year. No? Chance it with the insurance, it's better than no place.

Are they so? That's worth noting then, as I wasn't aware of that and neither was he. If he'll achieve higher or not is uncertain, but he was predicted higher than the university's offer (which is rather rare, thinking about it...) and if his AS grades were anything to go by before this whole mess then he'd have happily hit his predicted grades. I don't doubt that, mitigating circumstances aside, he's intelligent enough to get the grades he needs even if they are bumped up.

Amore said:
Also, some universities get really picky about making sure you've only taken 2 years to do your A levels - Edinburgh's one I know just point blank refuses anyone who's taking over the standard 2 years.

The only ones I've seen which are fussed about that are Edinburugh, OxBridge and Imperial iirc. To my knowledge he's not been interested in any universities which complain about resits.

Amore said:
Hope I haven't rambled too much.

Oh, it's no bother. I appreciate it. :]

Dter ic · Aug 16, 2013

Universities can accept an unlimited number of students with at least a ABB grade (or equivalent combinations) instead of the previous AAB grade.

Honest · Aug 17, 2013

Craptastic, I have to deal with this right before I leave to Canada.

Okay, here's the deal. My... friend's dating this guy, and she likes him, yadda yadda yadda. She's the "good girl" type, you'd think. The kind that doesn't really get into relationships. But she's in one.

A rumor floated around a couple of months ago that the two had showered together, or something **** like that. And while that does leave me disappointed in her (if it's true), I didn't really search to find out if it's true or even tell her what I heard. Her business is her business.

She texted me today, though, telling me that one of my friends who might know about something she's done (didn't say what) might possibly tell her sister who my friend apparently either works with, or sees at his job, etc. While I don't think the guy in question would tell anyone, even if he did know (don't think he does), it leaves me wondering if I should admit what I've heard about her.

The reason I don't want to is cause my best friend told me, who was told by the girl's close friend. Who I know. And I sorta don't want to cause animosity. I'm already leaning on a "shut your trap" decision, but I figured I might as well post here, see what you guys think.

Kura · Aug 18, 2013

Vertigo said:
Craptastic, I have to deal with this right before I leave to Canada.

Okay, here's the deal. My... friend's dating this guy, and she likes him, yadda yadda yadda. She's the "good girl" type, you'd think. The kind that doesn't really get into relationships. But she's in one.

A rumor floated around a couple of months ago that the two had showered together, or something **** like that. And while that does leave me disappointed in her (if it's true), I didn't really search to find out if it's true or even tell her what I heard. Her business is her business.

She texted me today, though, telling me that one of my friends who might know about something she's done (didn't say what) might possibly tell her sister who my friend apparently either works with, or sees at his job, etc. While I don't think the guy in question would tell anyone, even if he did know (don't think he does), it leaves me wondering if I should admit what I've heard about her.

The reason I don't want to is cause my best friend told me, who was told by the girl's close friend. Who I know. And I sorta don't want to cause animosity. I'm already leaning on a "shut your trap" decision, but I figured I might as well post here, see what you guys think.

I wouldn't say anything to her. Who cares if they showered together? If she is still a lovely girl, then what she does behind closed doors is her business. However, if she isn't going to keep things behind closed doors (that should be,) she should face the repercussions (gossip.) And if she DOES keep things behind closed doors and people are spreading rumors just to **** on her, then it shouldn't be any of her concern anyways, because it's not true.

Either way, I don't see why you would see her in a different light. She didn't do anything illegal, did she? She didn't do anything to harm anyone else, did she? Why does the fact that she's in a relationship now suddenly make her a "bad girl"? That is silly and immature.

If she's worried about true rumors being spread, she should just laugh it off as being only a rumor. If she has a "good girl aura" about her anyways, then people will believe her if she laughs it off and problem solved. She'll also know next time not to tell anyone her dirty details (that's unclassy.) Or next time, do it more discreetly.

Either way, if that friend is gonna tell her sister, he is a ****** friend. Unless he is going to tell her sister something that's detrimental to her health (like if she were taking drugs), I see no reason why this friend needs to be a major **** disturber.

Sounds like a lot of jealousy is going on, and people are too much into each others' business. This does not involve you at all, and if she has an issue with this other guy friend, she should speak to the guy in question herself.. instead of using you as a middleman.

Nihilego · Aug 18, 2013

Vertigo said:
Craptastic, I have to deal with this right before I leave to Canada.

Okay, here's the deal. My... friend's dating this guy, and she likes him, yadda yadda yadda. She's the "good girl" type, you'd think. The kind that doesn't really get into relationships. But she's in one.

A rumor floated around a couple of months ago that the two had showered together, or something **** like that. And while that does leave me disappointed in her (if it's true), I didn't really search to find out if it's true or even tell her what I heard. Her business is her business.

She texted me today, though, telling me that one of my friends who might know about something she's done (didn't say what) might possibly tell her sister who my friend apparently either works with, or sees at his job, etc. While I don't think the guy in question would tell anyone, even if he did know (don't think he does), it leaves me wondering if I should admit what I've heard about her.

The reason I don't want to is cause my best friend told me, who was told by the girl's close friend. Who I know. And I sorta don't want to cause animosity. I'm already leaning on a "shut your trap" decision, but I figured I might as well post here, see what you guys think.

I... kinda don't see the issue here at all. So they're dating and they took a shower together? What's the problem there? People get intimate with each other in relationships, dude. It's not something to be disappointed about; I'd be happy that she's found someone she likes enough given that, as you say, she's the 'good girl' generally. As you also say - it's not your business, nor is it anyone else's. She can do what she wants without the societal expectation of her being good and respectable or whatever (and still, honestly, what's she done wrong?).

I honestly think it's pretty juvenile that this is even a rumour going around. I can't wait to see what happens when they have sex. The only thing I feel you should do here, if anything at all, is to tell the guy that supposedly knows stuff to grow up, realise that people who like each other probably are going to get intimate and physical at some point, and keep his mouth shut about others' private lives. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but... at your age, this really shouldn't be a thing.

Honest · Aug 18, 2013

~~godbless free wifi~~

So I finally got the full truth out from her. I don't care about what she does with her boyfriend. Let me get that out of the way. If I seemed like I did, then that would be because this was the same girl who I let get away. Sorry. But that's not my point, really.

As for the situation with this "thing" that my friend might tell her sister, apparently it's just the very fact that she's in a relationship. ~~Brown problems~~. Apparently, she's legit afraid that if her mother finds out (and according to her, she was there with her sister when my friend talked to her [and said some really... harsh stuff]). All of that is paranoia on her part, and it's something I've convinced her to not worry about. That being said, I told her to talk with the guy just in case, and she's made steps to do just that. None of that really has anything to do with my problem, though.

My issue here is the fact that I know about her showering with her boyfriend (assuming they did. Rumors for ya). It's not a "holy ****, she did that" sort of issue. Cause her life isn't my problem. The only reason I said I was disappointed is because before the relationship, she made a huge deal about "no dating" and that she wasn't that kind of girl, yet she caved despite what she said. And I guess my disappointment also comes from the fact that the same girl who I figured to be so... innocent? ended up just being... well, who she is. If I'm honest with myself, I might as well add that I never made my move because I thought she was sure of her ways. Again, tangent, and not what I'm trying to focus on.

The main issue that I had (had) wasn't the rumor, but the origination of it. It seems to who have stemmed from this friend of hers who I'd always imagined to be her brother. That's it. In the end, I just decided to shut my trap cause, hey, not my problem.

Yeah, pointless post was pointless. Too much ****ing drama.

~~this is also the same girl i cried over on the last day of school. so give me a break if i sound jealous or whatever~~

SinfulGuroRose · Aug 18, 2013

Can I get some advice about colleges?

I live in Arkansas, and from what I've gathered, there are generally two types of colleges around here: expensive, 20k colleges and party colleges. I actually really, really want to go to Lyon, but $20k is way out of my range; if I want to go to college, I have to pay for it with financial aid, because I am flat out broke. I have a 29 on my ACT, which should pay off most lower universities, but I'm wondering if any of you know personally which colleges in the area have a generally hard working populace, but won't beat you with a rule book if you occasionally go to a party or something.

Another thing I really want to know about is, if all else should fail, what about colleges in Canada? I don't have family up there anymore, but all my uncles who lived there really enjoyed it, and I've heard tuition is much cheaper. What I don't know is, do ACTs transfer across national boundaries, or would I have to take the SAT? If the latter, would it be worth it?

Sorry I'm so long winded. U wU I'm just frazzing out about it.

Bellum · Aug 19, 2013

FEEDBACK NEEDED! :O

So I just wrote this paragraph for my amazing girlfriend and I have never wrote anything like tbis before and woukd just like some feedback on it ^_^"

"Hey baby boo <3

When I met you, I never thought that we would ever be together, I instantly thought "that girl is too perfect for me*. You're funny, beautiful, incredible and too perfect to put into words. I don't know how I got you, maybe luck, I don't know. But what I do know is that I am happy that I am with you, and nobody else. My heart skips a beat when I think of you, and I get butterflies when I talk to you. And when I heard you singing...I melted inside. Your voice is angellic. You are angellic. Like a gift from heaven. When I talk to you, I can't help but smile, and when we're not talking, I can't help but think of you. I long for the day when we can actually be together, cuddling and kissing and doing cute stuff together. I don't know what I would do without you in my life. I love you more than words could ever explain. My heart beats for you, and only you. No other girls catch my eye any more because I already have perfection in my life. My mind goes all coo-coo when you tell how i'm perfect, when I know i'm not. But I still love it when you say i'm perfect. You're my girlfriend, and also the bestest friend I could ever ask for. I love you Grace, more than anyone or anything in the world. <3<3<3<3 :* "

Kura · Aug 19, 2013

If you wrote this for your girlfriend, it's from the heart and from you.. and I don't think we have any business in coming in to critique your wording on your feelings.. after all, only you can decide if you think those are the right words and phrases to express your love.

Sorry, I don't see the point in offering you my feedback.. but maybe others will disagree and will want to fix your grammar, sentence structure, etc.

Bellum · Aug 19, 2013

I can kinda see your point haha. But with this being the first time I ever wrote something like this, I just wanted to get feedback on it and stuff ^_^" heheh. Thanks anyway ^-^

Kura · Aug 19, 2013

Vertigo said:
~~godbless free wifi~~

So I finally got the full truth out from her. I don't care about what she does with her boyfriend. Let me get that out of the way. If I seemed like I did, then that would be because this was the same girl who I let get away. Sorry. But that's not my point, really.

As for the situation with this "thing" that my friend might tell her sister, apparently it's just the very fact that she's in a relationship. ~~Brown problems~~. Apparently, she's legit afraid that if her mother finds out (and according to her, she was there with her sister when my friend talked to her [and said some really... harsh stuff]). All of that is paranoia on her part, and it's something I've convinced her to not worry about. That being said, I told her to talk with the guy just in case, and she's made steps to do just that. None of that really has anything to do with my problem, though.

My issue here is the fact that I know about her showering with her boyfriend (assuming they did. Rumors for ya). It's not a "holy ****, she did that" sort of issue. Cause her life isn't my problem. The only reason I said I was disappointed is because before the relationship, she made a huge deal about "no dating" and that she wasn't that kind of girl, yet she caved despite what she said. And I guess my disappointment also comes from the fact that the same girl who I figured to be so... innocent? ended up just being... well, who she is. If I'm honest with myself, I might as well add that I never made my move because I thought she was sure of her ways. Again, tangent, and not what I'm trying to focus on.

The main issue that I had (had) wasn't the rumor, but the origination of it. It seems to who have stemmed from this friend of hers who I'd always imagined to be her brother. That's it. In the end, I just decided to shut my trap cause, hey, not my problem.

Yeah, pointless post was pointless. Too much ****ing drama.

~~this is also the same girl i cried over on the last day of school. so give me a break if i sound jealous or whatever~~

I can tell you are a bit jealous honestly.. and also.. you need to realize that people change. When we are 10, we all think "ewww.. kissing boys, gross!"
I still don't really see a problem here. I understand you want to be a hero in this situation because this is the girl you fell for (and you're probably denying you still have feelings for even now) and so yeah you care... but this is between her, her family, and her other guy friend. All you can do in this situation is be someone for her to vent to, but I don't recommend getting involved in her relationship and family matters. I recommend also not getting so involved emotionally in other peoples' problems, especially with a situation you should not set into.

Sinful, I am not sure about Colleges in the US, but just by going to college internationally you are spending about 20K extra (sometimes PER YEAR) for the same course. I recommend staying in your state unless you get a scholarship or sponsorship to go over to Canada, or if you get accepted into an amazing school which guarantees you like a great paying job upon graduation.
(I know some friends who took my college degree course and they were paying about 26 grand a year while I paid 7-8 not including books, supplies, etc.)

Kotone · Aug 19, 2013

Kura said:
If you wrote this for your girlfriend, it's from the heart and from you.. and I don't think we have any business in coming in to critique your wording on your feelings.. after all, only you can decide if you think those are the right words and phrases to express your love.

Sorry, I don't see the point in offering you my feedback.. but maybe others will disagree and will want to fix your grammar, sentence structure, etc.

i can see that you want us to tell you how we feel about it, but it's all on your thoughts and feelings. our opinions wouldn't help. it's cute tho!

Bellum · Aug 19, 2013

I can see that now ^-^" heheh. Thanks ^^

Renpuu · Aug 19, 2013

Vertigo said:
~~godbless free wifi~~

So I finally got the full truth out from her. I don't care about what she does with her boyfriend. Let me get that out of the way. If I seemed like I did, then that would be because this was the same girl who I let get away. Sorry. But that's not my point, really.

As for the situation with this "thing" that my friend might tell her sister, apparently it's just the very fact that she's in a relationship. ~~Brown problems~~. Apparently, she's legit afraid that if her mother finds out (and according to her, she was there with her sister when my friend talked to her [and said some really... harsh stuff]). All of that is paranoia on her part, and it's something I've convinced her to not worry about. That being said, I told her to talk with the guy just in case, and she's made steps to do just that. None of that really has anything to do with my problem, though.

My issue here is the fact that I know about her showering with her boyfriend (assuming they did. Rumors for ya). It's not a "holy ****, she did that" sort of issue. Cause her life isn't my problem. The only reason I said I was disappointed is because before the relationship, she made a huge deal about "no dating" and that she wasn't that kind of girl, yet she caved despite what she said. And I guess my disappointment also comes from the fact that the same girl who I figured to be so... innocent? ended up just being... well, who she is. If I'm honest with myself, I might as well add that I never made my move because I thought she was sure of her ways. Again, tangent, and not what I'm trying to focus on.

The main issue that I had (had) wasn't the rumor, but the origination of it. It seems to who have stemmed from this friend of hers who I'd always imagined to be her brother. That's it. In the end, I just decided to shut my trap cause, hey, not my problem.

Yeah, pointless post was pointless. Too much ****ing drama.

~~this is also the same girl i cried over on the last day of school. so give me a break if i sound jealous or whatever~~

People shower with each other all the time. Drakow constantly asks me to shower with him but I am yet to take the opportunity.

Okay serious point now, if she showered with a guy that was considered her boyfriend then you hypothetically expect the worst in your mind that they made of done something more than "just showering." You're probably hurt that she didn't have a shower with you and that's okay, I wish hot girls would shower with me all the time..even though I'm more of a bath kinda of guy. I dunno usually in a shower my legs never get warmed up but in a bath they sure do and that just feels great for me especially after a good work out when my legs are aching.

Girls may normally lie if they don't like you and say stuff like "oh I'm a ****, you're better off without me" or "I'm not ready" or my personal favourite that I have experienced "I don't like guys, I'm a lesbian" and then 2 months later she is dating a guy again ^_^ !

If you can't trust her because of this and how she acts, then that's fair enough but you should move on and find a girl who likes you for who you are and you like her for who she is etc.
If she's a good friend then keep her but if her friendship is just causing you drama and unnecessary pain then loosing her friendship and not seeing her as often would help you get over her completely.

You'll feel free and a new man !

Now on the subject of colleges I have no idea where you should study or what you should study, just be prepared to be in debt and make sure you're ready to work your ass off.

Overlord Drakow · Aug 19, 2013

Renpuu said:
People shower with each other all the time. Drakow constantly asks me to shower with him but I am yet to take the opportunity.

Omg I'm gonna kick the **** out of you at training tonight!

But Vertigo, girls are full of crap seriously. Not all of them, but I think a lot of them are. They say one thing then X amount of time later they'll contradict themselves and they won't even give a **** or even realize! Seriously, whenever it happens to me, I'm just like '****ing ****** ass women logic'. Don't waste your time complaining about **** you can't even change. March forward steadily and you'll be fine.

Bellum · Aug 19, 2013

Renpuu said:
What did I just read. Who the hell calls their girlfriend "baby boo" ? Is that something out of dragonball Z "Baby kidd buu ?"
Okay we get the message, you love your girlfriend but seriously you don't need to go into all this detail to show or say how much you love her.
The heart skipping beats and butterflies sounds so cliche. I kinda hate talking about feelings like this, it just seems everything has been said or done. It just seems cringe worthy to me. Some people will generally take what you have produced here and be like "awwwwwwwwww...." and others like me will go "okay..cringe worthy". Girls love simplicity and maybe just saying a few simple words or remembering something romantic and showing her will do the trick.
Maybe take her out to where you first met, show her pictures of when you first got together or something she really likes that you enjoy together and write a simple message on it.
You are her man and you should know what she likes...so it's up to you !

No need to re-sight a sonnet or a love poem.

Oh ._. Well she is kinda my first girlfriend. And me and her have never met in person. Soooo yeah :L
And thanks...I guess :/

Kura · Aug 19, 2013

SupernovaTyphlosion said:
Oh ._. Well she is kinda my first girlfriend. And me and her have never met in person. Soooo yeah :L
And thanks...I guess :/

Like I said earlier, you should tell her what you feel is right to say. If Renpuu thinks it's tacky or whatever, then let him. Like he said, some people will find it cringe-worthy (like him) and others will think it's cute. I think nicknames are cute, and I think poems are really thoughtful. But what really matters is how your girlfriend will take it. If she's super serious and hates poetry, she might laugh and say thanks, or maybe she'll love it and frame it. After all, you know her best, and you can choose any way that you want to express your feelings to her of course!!
I'm a girl and not all of us just like "simplicity," so I don't think Renpuu can truly generalize. I'm the type of person who values thought over just throwing a wad of cash over a dinner table, or being bought a drink, so maybe that's why.. but I think any girl regardless of if she's picky or not should (and most likely would, if she cares for you) appreciate the effort you made to say what you have.

And poem or no poem, if you want to call your girlfriend baby boo, you're entirely entitled to do such and shouldn't be ridiculed for it. I have inside jokes and nicknames for me too, and I like them. Again, it's your relationship, and I don't think anyone has the right to critique truly, unless there is an aspect in the relationship that would be harming you or your partner.

Bellum · Aug 19, 2013

Kura said:
Like I said earlier, you should tell her what you feel is right to say. If Renpuu thinks it's tacky or whatever, then let him. Like he said, some people will find it cringe-worthy (like him) and others will think it's cute. I think nicknames are cute, and I think poems are really thoughtful. But what really matters is how your girlfriend will take it. If she's super serious and hates poetry, she might laugh and say thanks, or maybe she'll love it and frame it. After all, you know her best, and you can choose any way that you want to express your feelings to her of course!!
I'm a girl and not all of us just like "simplicity," so I don't think Renpuu can truly generalize. I'm the type of person who values thought over just throwing a wad of cash over a dinner table, or being bought a drink, so maybe that's why.. but I think any girl regardless of if she's picky or not should (and most likely would, if she cares for you) appreciate the effort you made to say what you have.

And poem or no poem, if you want to call your girlfriend baby boo, you're entirely entitled to do such and shouldn't be ridiculed for it. I have inside jokes and nicknames for me too, and I like them. Again, it's your relationship, and I don't think anyone has the right to critique truly, unless there is an aspect in the relationship that would be harming you or your partner.

Firstly I would like to say thank you very much for that ^^
Secondly, thank you very much for that xD

Renpuu · Aug 20, 2013

I did not mean to be rude, I do apologise. I got a warning for that post X_X !
I agree knowing what girlfriend will do the trick but sometimes if you really have no idea, basic/simple things will usually work out better than trying to something complicated on the spot craziness.

Silais · Aug 20, 2013

Hey guys, wondering if you could help me with a problem I'm having.

I'm going to be a sophomore in college next Monday, and I'm feeling pretty down. I'm excited to see my new dorm (I have no roommate this year, which is AWESOME) and I can't wait to start class and my new job, but I'm scared of meeting my fellow Coyotes this year. I guess the reasons are superficial, but they're a big problem for me.

I live in a small town filled with extremely attractive people, but I'm not one of them. I'm 200lbs (I'm working on it) and I'm definitely one of the least-pretty girls on campus. I hate seeing how I compare to other girls because it makes me realize just how physically ugly I am. It's embarrassing. Yes, I do have a couple friends, and a boyfriend of one year, but still—I'm embarrassed to go out in public, and classes are going to be hell for me. I don't understand why I was made so ugly while others were made beautiful and perfect, but I guess there's nothing I can do about that.

My question is, what should I do to be less worried about starting college again? I'm never comfortable being in public (haven't since I moved to Arizona 12 years ago, the worst decision my parents ever made) and it's going to be so hard for me to get out and enjoy college with the body and face I was cursed with. Any suggestions?

Help & Advice Thread

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