Wait, what?

What are the most odd things you've heard someone say?
What was the scenario?

I was walking to class one day and I heard this girl and her boyfriend talking, but I only caught the middle of their conversation and it was her saying "...so the doctor said if I keep applying the ointment then the rash will go away."

X]

"I'd rather eat the juice from a beaver's butt than petroleum. Just sayin." (-Someone on the internet. It made sense at the time.)

"One day you're going to come home with your eyeballs in your pockets." (-My father > me. Stolen from my post on the last thread like this.)

"I think I broke my butt." (-My best friend > me. She had fallen onto the ground or something like that.)

I forget the exact wording, so this one is more of a scenario.
My friend was teasing that me and her older brother would make a good fake couple. He misunderstood and thought she meant a real couple. He then proceeded to request that we both agree to not get married "this year" (???). Everyone was laughing (including us).

"Ain't no way you're ever gonna make it with that good looking young lady over there."
"What? No, I was talking to him..." (Motioning toward his friend)
"Ain't no way you'll make it with him, either!"
(- Beginning with my history teacher, with my friend replying. I was that "young lady" her referred to.)

"I'm not gay!" (-A guy I know, indignantly trying to convince people who were teasing him. In reply, I put my hand on his arm and murmured, "It's okay, you don't have to hide it from us." I was joking, of course.)

I was going passed the front room and heard my boyfriend on the phone.
"yeah Kerri would rather eat dirt covered sticks than that"

like what ?

I was in school and i heard two girls saying:

"E.T, my hooouuussseeeee Hahahahah"

Hmm i have no idea wat is tis