Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

Granted. It's in another thread entitled "Make a wish and have it not horribly corrupted", not this one.

I wish that the mods knew that I don't really deserve the Pokémon Connoisseur emblem.

Granted, but everyone goes into a rampage about how the mods took away your emblem, and because of that, PokeCommunity is shut down.

I wish that I wasn't sick.

Granted, but you get turned into a trash can.

I wish I didn't keep posting in Other Trivia. >_> (seriously, look at the page! I LIVE here!)

Granted, but then you unconsciously get teleported into an alternate dimension where you still keep posting in the 'Other Trivia' section.

I wish I was dead

Granted, but you then become a zombie.

I wish I could see Coheed & Cambria live in concert. XD

Granted. Your strange obsession for the band shown through in every PC game ten fold after the concert. Every member plotted your murder in harmony...It...Was....Beautiful, you didn't even see it coming. HEADSHOT.

I wish I hadn't killed the poster above me.

Granted. But you were the one murdered instead. HEADSHOT.

I wish I didn't have to go potty anymore. =[

Granted. You bladder exploded in a smelly mess.

I wish I hadn't posted here.

Granted, but instead, you posted to join the Hannah Montana fan club.


I wish I hadn't been killed.

Granted. Instead, you get horribly maimed and become a quadruple amputee. You spend the rest of your days in horrible pain, unable to move.

I wish I hadn't submitted my post without wishing for something first! O.o

Granted, but you wished to have a wish.

I wish people weren't so mean to me in this thread. T-T

Granted but then you DIE!!

I wish I was taller

Granted, but your so tall, your head goes beyond Earth's atmosphere and your head IMPLODES.

I wish people didn't reply to wishes so violently.

Granted. However, you get sent to the Shadow Realm.

I wish that I knew what I wanted to do right now.

Granted, but what you want to do is dance and sing to Hannah Montana in a ballerina outfit.

I wish I had $6,305,478,902.35 and 1/2
(That's a lot of dollars and 35 and a half cents)

Granted but then you find out theres no way to give that amount of money, so you get nothing.

I wish that this wish will be granted.

Granted, but I feel ripped off forever D:

I wish I was a Yugioh card.

Granted, but you turn into one of those nasty buggers with the man-thongs. *shudder*

I wish all of my work was done so I could go do some community service.

Granted. Your community service is cleaning out public restrooms and those ones that are outdoors. I don't really see how this is a corruption, but...

I wish for more No. 2 Pencils.

Granted but they turn on you and go for your eyes. Also, you can only write the word 'shizzle'.
I wish I had a bowl of popcorn.