Dear Anonymous,
Why? Why do you act like this? You act so obnoxious and annoying and ignorant and yet I know you aren't a bad person. You probably don't know what you mean to me because of the way I treat you sometimes, and I'm sorry about that, but all the same, what you need to realize is that you don't need to vie for attention like you think you do. We all love you and know you. You're an awesome person, and don't beat yourself up, don't rely on everyone else. It's time to grow up and realize all of this. We love you, and we're all anxiously awaiting that day.
~~~
Dear Anonymous,
What do you mean to me? I proclaim to myself over and over that you're different, but then I condemn myself for that, and tell myself you aren't any different, and it just becomes a vicious, confusing cycle. I'm trying so hard for something that I don't even know can happen, but this feeling I have was instantaneous. From the first moment I saw you, it was that little spark behind my eyes, in my chest and in my stomach. I told myself you weren't any different for the longest time, that you were just something I used as a coping mechanism. But the truth is that you were exactly what I had asked myself and whatever is out there for. You are exactly the person I wanted. It just doesn't seem possible, but I don't know anymore. All I can think about when you're around is...well, you. What can I do to impress you?
To make you laugh?
To make you notice me?
The problem is that I'm so loud trying to impress you with my intelligence and witty sarcasm that I don't ever even talk to you, and you're so quiet you really don't talk to anyone unless you're talked to. I guess the biggest thing I've been wrestling in regards to you is the fact that we hardly know each other. A few classes, I see you maybe three times a day, and yet I just feel this profound connection to you, seemingly the perfect person who just appeared out of the blue. I hope you feel it too. But then, I don't, because you might be as conflicted as me. Although I only think I'm conflicted because I don't think I know you well enough; well, unless you're a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of person. Which I get the feeling you might be. You don't really seem like a person who hides anything or acts differently. Now that I think about it even more, you seem like how you seem. But do I really know all I need to? Do I know you well enough?
I know you don't know me well enough. Just...I know it's a lot to ask...but maybe you could step forward and help me sort it out? Me, the guy who can't even talk to you? Could you help me take the first step? And could you let me show you the real me?