Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

Granted, however, he melts and all you're left with is Stalin candy goop o.o

I wish for total obliteration of this post!

Granted, you also get banned because the obliterated post was SPAM!!!

I wish I had that special someone to brag about to my friends.

granted but its a guy and a fat @hole and you fall into a coma
I wish that I made a wish that would come true and could never be corrupted and the end result I would enjoy.

Granted. It's wishing to post in this thread.

I wish when something happens to the internet, I knew if it's just me or not.

Granted. EVERYONE GETS CLANNAD THEMUS!!! :DDDDDDDD

I wish I could play my SSBM already ._.

Granted, but you could only be Jigglypuff -.-

I wish to have some piez :3

Granted, but they're stale, mouldy, and the mould comes to life. It backstabs you and tells all of your friends about the embarrassing things you don't want them to know.

I wish for a pair of wooden crutches that match the station wagon I want to buy~

Granted, but everyone wants you to do their homework for them, which is annoying.

I wish I could take an octopus on our family vacation.

Granted, but you become poor and have to pay higher taxes. OH NO!!!!!!

I wish that the following would make sense:
qwertyuiop[]ASDFGHJKL;'#+\ZXCVBNM,./ UR ULITKJL.JFFGHFUYUY

Granted, but only in Swahili. And nobody speaks Swahili.

I wish my glasses were in style.

Granted.

>implying that your glasses being in style is a bad thing.

I wish for the ability to punch through a wall.

Granted. It still hurts though.

I wish for more non-meat food in my house.

Granted, but it's expired.

I wish I had a pet KGB officer~

Granted, but now you wish you had it back.

I wish i never thought of eating cheese

ok but you thought of eating poo

I wish mario would just stop dancing