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Metal Coat;

Giratina ♀

what's your sign?
1,439
Posts
15
Years
  • Age 27
  • Seen Jul 23, 2013
Preparations Must Be Made
(chapter fifteen - the fifteenth chapter of the story. does anyone even read this note in the first place?)
A creature plodded into the cave that held what, in its firm belief, was the most respectable and glorious being that Arceus had ever made, ever. Aforementioned being held in such great regard was in the middle of the cave, sitting down, head bowed and eyes closed. The four-legged creature walked forward.

"My lady," it said in a gravelly voice.

Mesprit opened her eyes slowly. What stood before her was a four-pawed mammal, with a large, imposing, and quite dangerous black scythe jutting out of the side of his head and curving backward, ever so slightly. A similar appendage served as its tail. Sharp black claws lay, unsheathing, on the rocky cave floor, partially covered by thick white fur.

"Absol," Mesprit said, smiling evilly. "How are our friends faring with Abra?"

"Oh, it was absolutely disastrous, my Lady. Absolutely disastrous. One for the record books, I'd say. I've never seen something so hilariously catastrophic – and oh yes, it was also quite funny. You should have seen wh-"

"Spare me the detail, please. Now, what about Azelf?" Mesprit cut in, silently scolding herself on using such a talkative spy. Absols weren't supposed to be gabbing loudmouths like this one…

Absol looked away. A strong blast of uneasiness radiated from him.

"I see." Mesprit didn't need to ask to understand what had happened with her 'brother'. "Dismissed."

"My lady," The Absol crouched into a deep bow before padding off into the darkness once more.

"Azelf," Mesprit growled. "If only I could manipulate fellow Legends… then he would drown in his own grief. Oh, yes. That would be fun to watch…" Mesprit's smile turned from evil to maniacal.

She twitched from her meditating position, and floated up into the air. Slowly, her small figure slid into a side cavern. She followed it, dislodged the guard Pokemon she had positioned there, and entered a smaller cave room.

It was bathed in red glow by two crimson, chipped stones standing exactly five feet away from each other. She glided quite calmly over to where an X was marked on a large boulder (moved in by a Machoke), and waited, not so patiently. She felt no regret, none at all.

After all, she was doing the right thing.



Caro, Kris, and Cyrus were trudging through wet mud, again. For real this time. It was no Medicham playing with them, or a prophetic dream of utmost importance. They were, quite simply, walking through thick and annoyingly slippery wet dirt. (Hey, what did you expect? Stories like these aren't explosion-to-explosion thrillfests cover to cover.)

"We should be nearing a hotel by now," Cyrus started, "And I'll leave you to guess what's beyond that point." If he or Kris had said any more, Caro hadn't caught it. His mind was preoccupied with other things.

Caro shivered. He had an odd feeling in his body, like something was about to happen. Life will go on as it always has, things will happen anyway.

But this was different. It was like something very, very big was staring at him from a cage, glowering hungrily, the key slowly being inserted into the lock that kept it secure.

Something was going to happen. It wasn't going to be fun. That much was certain.

"Hey… Kris?" he asked, suddenly weak.

"Huh?" The girl had evidently been having thoughts of her own.

"Do you feel… weird?"

"Weird?" Kris raised an eyebrow and turned to look at him. "Weird how?"

"I mean… I can't describe it, but it's like this feeling in the pit of your stomach that this… shouldn't be happening, you know?" Seeing her face and getting the general impression that she did not, in fact, know, Caro elaborated. "I don't mean here as in this patch of mud here. I mean… this world. I mean, we're Pokemon, aren't we? We're not supposed to know a place like this exists."

When she kept looking at him, he said another sentence simply because it seemed like the thing to do: "Like… like we're not supposed to be here."

"You have every right to be here," Cyrus said from behind them, making the duo jump. Even though they had long since learned that he had an annoying habit of suddenly making his presence known, the man was so shrouded in stoic silence that it was very easy to forget he was there at all. "If you weren't allowed to be here, then you wouldn't be here."

That silenced them all.



As the Honchkrow beat its wings, the rider looked out over the blue sky, holding her three-pointed Murkrow hat in place with one hand.

There was no doubt about it – he was back. And he has a couple of pipsqueaks tailing along behind. She didn't understand any of it, and when she didn't understand anything it was not a pleasant day for any random passerby who happened to as much as glance at her while going about their business.

Having suddenly been absorbed in these thoughts, she gradually lost the grip on her hat. As the wind finally caught up to it and blew the article of clothing off of its standard position, she only barely managed to snatch it back again. Shaking her head, Yami decided that it was better to just hold on to it. Now that there was no Murkrow hat to keep it in place, the large amount of black hair on her head was suddenly trailing along in the breeze commonly generated by flying on a Pokemon's back.

She directed the large bird to land, and it did so outside of the limits of Twinleaf Town; in a deserted-looking, grassy Route that looked like a glorified T-intersection. To the south was a rather boring-looking town, down the right road of the T was another rather boring-looking town, and to the left was a great amount of foliage. She quickly entered the clearing amidst the expanse of tree, and looked out over the shining lake that caught the sun's light in such a wonderful manner.

She liked it here.

She liked it here, knowing that whatever was in these waters were all serene and at peace.



A cave floated on an island barely bigger than its contents in the middle of the brilliant, shining blue waters. Crossing these brilliant, shining blue waters was a Sharpedo, with a woman on its back; the only way she could keep her balance was to make sure one hand was fastened around the fin that stuck towards the sky.

Eventually, the Sharpedo got to its destination, the woman hopped off, and returned it with a 'thanks, Sharpedo'.

"What is happening in there, Lucario?" She asked as she sent out a new Pokemon.

It was a canine, though perched on its hind legs. Jackal ears twitched, as the Pokemon closed its red eyes. There seemed to be a mask on its blue face, with four appendages similar to Mesprit's – except there were two on each side of his head, right below the blue ears. A white spike stuck out from the fur on its chest. Two blue arms ending in black paws and yet another spike clenched their fists. Lucario shifted his weight, and repositioned his black legs.

"Luuuu!" It yelped suddenly. Its paws suddenly flared with blue light, almost like semi-transparent fire.

"Calm down, Lucario!" Yami put her hand on the Lucario's shoulder. "So I guess something important is going on in there, huh?" She asked. Lucario nodded, curling his mouth into a snarl and making the appropriate noises.

She took a step forward, but no sooner had she put her foot down that Lucario stuck out a spiked paw in front of her throat. She took a step in the opposite direction, shocked. Lucario shook his fur-covered head at her.

"What?" She said. "Why shouldn't I go in there?" Lucario fixed a stare on her that made his message quite clear: "Just don't."

"If it's just because it's dangerous, don't stop me." Yami frowned at her Pokemon. Crossing his paws over his chest, Lucario sighed to the best of his ability and shook his head again – it wasn't the danger of an unknown cave.

Lucario desperately wished he could get the message across to her: There is something that will be painful to you in that cave, in more ways than one! Unfortunately for Lucario, in the wise words of his mother, 'Aura does not work that way!'

But, alas, he couldn't. He knew his Trainer trusted the smarter creature's judgment. And, what do you know, she did. "Fine," the woman sighed, "you win. We'll leave." Satisfied, Lucario nodded at last as he was sent back into his Pokeball.

The woman fixed a last fleeting look at the cave on the island. Her gaze drifted down to rest on her Pokeballs, and she shrugged – what ferocious demon was going to nail her down here? A Psyduck with about a third of the power any of her Pokemon had, at the very most. That was hardly a threat.

Of course, she never expected a Machoke to leap out at her from the undergrowth, and drag her back into the cave, gagged. But, you know, Machokes under a spell do some pretty dim-witted things (not that they're much better in full control of themselves).



Mesprit was interrupted by a slam at the cave wall. Furious, she got up from her solitary position and floated out into the cavern. "What is it?" She asked irritably, turning her head to the source of the disturbance. It was one of her Machokes, apparently caught some human pain-in-the-tail slinking around outside.

"What are you waiting for?" She snapped in Pokespeak. "Bring it out so I can see our friend clearly." The Machoke yanked the woman into the brighter area. She wore a long black trenchcoat, heavily tattered, as well as a black shirt and pants. Her boots were a charcoal gray, with orange soles. The (in)famous Murkrow hat jerked off her head, as did her dark sunglasses.

My sunglasses. That was the only thought that ran through the woman's head as she felt her body soar forward in the Machoke's grip. My sunglasses… my sunglasses… And then a new blaring alarm shot through her body: If she sees my eyes, chances are I'm dead. Urgh, I hate this.

As the pair of shades clattered to the rock-strewn floor, the woman looked up at Mesprit; the creature was going to get the picture anyway, so she might as well get it over with quickly. The Emotion Pokemon stared, dumbfounded, at her hostage's face. The confusion settled for a while.

But slowly, very slowly, right in front of the Machoke and his prisoner, Mesprit's eyes narrowed, and her mouth slowly rose up into a snarl/maniacal grin, pointed teeth glowing.

And, what do you know, she laughed. She laughed like a maniac. Again.

Everything had fallen into place, and this was only making it better!
 

Giratina ♀

what's your sign?
1,439
Posts
15
Years
  • Age 27
  • Seen Jul 23, 2013
The Madman Boy's on the Steets Again
[FONT=&quot](chapter sixteen - the sixteenth chapter of the story. it's the home stretch.)
[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
Caro and Kris had explored just about all of Sinnoh. Ironically, the last place they visit was going to be the most dangerous – but they had to get through Route 222 first.

Eventually, two or three days later, they clawed to the large building that signaled the entrance to Sunyshore City. After looking up and admiring the building for a few minutes, Caro peered in the giant metal entrance flanked by tacky yellow-painted walls. Kris did the same, and smiled. The streets were deserted; except for at the far side of the city… a huge crowd was assembled there, apparently for some sort of festival. Assuming nobody glanced at the entrance to the city, they should be perfectly fine.

Ah, the convenience of local festivities.

Exiting the gate, Caro casually strolled up to the forest's edge, standing as if he were admiring the forest as a casual observer. When Cyrus found him, Caro nodded subtly and indicated a short fence.

"Hm," Cyrus murmured. He got the picture.

As Caro turned and ran back to Kris, signaling to enter, Cyrus approached the fence. He calmly stepped over it (not too difficult, seeing as the fence was about a third of his height). A patch of darkness in the shadow of the huge building seemed to shift slightly, but lay still after. Cyrus walked right past it, and met up with the two teenage kids just to the side of the door.

"What's going on over there? It looks like some sort of festival," Kris pointed to the group over near the lighthouse.

"People here have many festivals and celebrations of that nature. They're not very rare occurrences here." Cyrus followed her gaze, and his eyes lingered on the lighthouse for a second.

"This place is really big," Caro mumbled as he looked around at the deserted city. "And those high-up walkways with the creepy blue tiling and everything… what the heck are they for, anyway?"

"Those tiles are solar panels. They power the city with the surplus of sunlight Sunyshore City receives daily." Cyrus said to him.

Caro was shocked (no pun intended). "You mean people can make electricity out of the sun's light?" He stared wide-eyed at them for a second.

"Yes." Cyrus said simply. "They can."

Caro was clearly impressed. "Huh." He said. "Cool. I'd like to walk on one of those." He admired them for a few minutes, and realized with a jolt that Cyrus had already started walking slowly around the mazelike city, looking like he knew the place like the back of his hand. Kris was in the same position that Caro was, admiring the solar streets – but as soon as she realized Cyrus was going somewhere, she blurted out her feelings.

"Where are you going?"

Cyrus stopped, and turned around. "You'll get it eventually."

Accepting it as an answer, Kris and Caro followed. They soon found themselves on a cliff face. Caro had gotten his wish of walking on the solar panels, and he had turned back to wander around on them some more. Kris and Cyrus, however, were staring at the house on the left.

"And… that would be yours, I'm guessing." Kris said blankly.

"Correct," Came the equally blank reply. "If you wish to stay outside, I understand."

"Arceus no!" Kris snorted. "I want to see what a house looks like!" Cyrus looked down at her.

"Even though it's been deserted for quite a while now."

Kris nodded. "Yeah." She walked over to Caro, and said something. He thought about it for a few minutes, overreacting slightly, and nodded. Kris beckoned him back to Cyrus. "Alright. Let's go in there."

Cyrus' old house was relatively normal, but Kris was looking around like it was an ancient temple. The ground floor was a large room, but going up a long set of stairs eventually led to a fairly lengthy hallway, with three doors – two on the right, and one on the left. Cyrus drifted towards the right side of the room, and stopped in front of the first door, considering if he should go in. After a few seconds of this, he moved on to the next door and pushed it open.

The resulting area looked like a robot had blown up in it. And, chances are, this room had faced its worth of exploding machines too.

Various bits and pieces of metal littered the floor, almost to the extent that they were the floor. A long bed was pushed in the corner, and near the only window in the room (which was facing the direction the sun sets - west) was a bettered desk, in much the same condition as the floor – bits and pieces of metal and paper sprawled over it. The walls were peeling and dull, as was to be expected – nobody had been in this place for ages.

Everyone was silent until Caro spoke in a traditionally Caro-like mood-breaking manner: "Well, now we know what your pastime is."

"It's funny how things like this work out, isn't it? They're like two completely different people."

Everyone swiveled around to face an Alakazam, a smug expression on his face. "You may call me Tajiri, but I hardly believe that will matter." He held up the spoons in his hands, and clacked them together. Immediately, the colors in the room began to blend and eventually formed themselves into Something Completely Different.

Grays of multiple shades positioned themselves into long, thick poles on either side of Caro, Kris, Cyrus, and Tajiri (who was looking around silently, even drumming his fingers on the side of his leg). Some trickled down to the floor and melted into a faded marble, milky dull white mixed with swirls of gray and brown. Darker browns filled the empty space left by the other colors, as a giant stretch of blue flung itself across the 'ceiling'.

"Teleport," Tajiri said smugly. "Very pretty, don't you think?" He looked around the huge cavern with the smug expression still lingering in his eyes. Cracked (and intact) Grecian pillars stuck up from the floor, and boulders were scattered around a slab of marble stretching across the floor. A couple of stone arches were placed near the back.

"This is complete overkill." Cyrus looked around. The Spear Pillar had not changed.

"I agree with you on that one," Tajiri noted, "but I'm just following orders. Farewell." With that, he turned around and walked out of the open-roofed cavern and into the corridor beyond. "I am finished here." Tajiri then proceeded to teleport away with a wave.

"Wait a second." For once, it was Caro who thought of something first. "Isn't this the… er… Spear Pillar? Isn't this the place where-" He stopped abruptly.

Cyrus nodded. "Yes, it is." This is getting ridiculous… His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden swooping of something going at a downward angle very, very fast.

Instinctively, Cyrus jerked to the left. Kris pulled Caro to the right to make way for the buzzing projectile.

A flash of black and yellow shot past him, and the Beedrill landed on a nearby pillar. It scuttled around the top to face the trio with its spindly, navy blue legs, and leered at them (making full use of the large and dangerous spikes on its front legs and black-and-yellow striped abdomen). It had unblinking red eyes, and two slightly translucent wings jerked and twitched quickly. The drills on its front arms posed threateningly, and the Beedrill let out a shrill declaration.

It said only three words, before falling silent: "Here she comes."

It turned its head and made a flying leap backwards onto another pillar, spreading its wings and legs wide, as an area above the entrance to the Spear Pillar began to distort itself.

First the colors simply got blurrier, but then new ones replaced them. It started with a magenta pink, arranging itself in what looked like a helmet with four rounded… things sticking out of it. Then, baby blue began to fill out a small body below the pink, shaped like a teardrop with arms and legs. It flowed upwards and finished off the helmet. Near the bottom of the body, two long tails jetted out and ended in what looked something like a spiked club, with a red ovular gem glistening on the left tail.

Just after Mesprit had finished her reappearance, everyone turned around. There was silence for a few seconds, and finally someone spoke.

"Was this really necessary?" Cyrus asked tonelessly.

Mesprit nodded cheerfully. "Yep!"

She smiled vacantly like that for a few seconds, and then her face turned to a frown.

"I'm not going to ramble on about my plan in a dreadfully boring monologue like a couple of people I can think of-" she paused- "so I'm just going to cut it short with this: you did something very, very bad. You got a pretty loose punishment for it. And now you're finally going to get what you deserve."

"And how are you proposing that's going to happen?" Cyrus asked, looking calm but feeling vastly different.

Mesprit shrugged. "Ah, nothing big." She said loftily. "I'm just going to use an old plot device of yours to rip your souls out of your bodies, simply because you deserved it. And just because you're a bad person overall…" She shrugged again.

"You do realize that by doing this, you're technically just as evil and violent as I am?"

"Yes. I get that. Only difference: I'm just planning on hurting you three. Not blowing up the universe. There's a difference, you see…" Mesprit made a circling gesture with her hand, and the frown twisted into a maniacal smile.

"But the method is almost exactly the same." She removed something scarlet red from the ledge next to her and jangled it casually. Her face lit up in mock surprise as it made a clanking metal sound that echoed all around the room, almost like…

A chain.

Caro and Kris' faces twisted in disbelief, and Cyrus came very close. "And what reason do you have to use the Red Chain to do so?" He asked.

"Because it's more fun." Mesprit grinned. She clearly had planned this out exclusively to use the Chain.

"But of course." He murmured. "More fun."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The enormous Celestial Screening Room way Up There, above the clouds and the rest of the universe going on its merry way below them, was watching with baited breath. The Gardevoir giving the 3D projection stopped to rest (it's hard work, watching something happen a long way below and trying to recreate it using psychic powers) and the Legendaries watching it happen groaned.

"That idiot," Darkrai sighed, putting his head in one hand. He was slouched (villainously, of course) in a chair made of obsidian, with a giant jade – what else? – set in the back. The purple stone shone and glinted in the radiant light coming from… well… everywhere. "Although, I can'y say I never saw this coming."

"That's absolutely ridiculous!" The Arcanine sitting next to Arceus proclaimed. "Oh… sorry, sir…" He inched away a few feet when Arceus glanced at him.

"It is fine," another Arcanine, eyes shining a fiery red, spoke from the other side of Arceus. Remember how Arceus can do just about everything but talk, so he gets another Pokemon to do it instead? This was one of those moments. "I agree with you completely."

"Now how did we not see that coming?" Azelf sighed dramatically from his hovering area in the corner.

"Cyrus is right – she is making complete overkill on this." Uxie commented softly. He was floating next to her. "But that is the way Mesprit is. It was bound to happen eventually." He sighed softly. "Mesprit is one of the most mentally unstable creatures in existence," he continued, "and she was bound to crack eventually."

Entei brought himself from a lying position to a sitting one, his head ultimately reaching Uxie's body. Entei was a four-legged, gray-pawed creature, covered almost completely in chocolate-brown fur (save for a stripe of cream down his stomach).He wore a multi-layered mask over his snouted face, first with three red spikes on his forehead and one at a downwards angle. Over that was a three-pointed yellow piece fixed in his forehead, shielding his eyes. Lastly, a silver thing covering his nose with a spike stuck down on either side of his face.

His paws were gray and broad, with a thick metal ring secured on each one. Overall, a large and imposing dog that looked like it could – scratch that, was able to – breathe fire.

"I suppose you're right," he said in a low, rumbling voice. "She was the embodiment of emotion… Emotion is a terribly shaky part of living creatures. How fitting that she should be out to destroy Cyrus… they're complete opposites." His gaze turned to Palkia. "Was this done on purpose?"

Palkia made a face of mock surprise. "Who, me? Why would I do something like this? Nothing I do is important enough to watch in the Celestial Screening Room."

"The founding of the Pokemon League. The Sootopolis City Incident. Mewtwo's creation…" Entei hesitated, and then spat out the last example as if it was painful to say.

"Ash Ketchum." The tone in the room plunged, turning considerably darker than it already was. The creatures inside gave a unanimous shudder.

Palkia looked away. "It was a joke," he said meekly. "Shaymin made me do it. I didn't intend for it to end like… that."

Shaymin wasn't paying attention, even when Palkia said her name. "Does Mesprit know what she is doing? It does not look like it, to me." The glowy-eyed Arcanine shook his fur-covered head.

"No," he said. "Her common sense has been silenced by her rage."

The Gardevoir coughed, and everyone looked back to the wisps of light that were beginning to form a scene.
 

Giratina ♀

what's your sign?
1,439
Posts
15
Years
  • Age 27
  • Seen Jul 23, 2013
If I have to hear Hoedown Throwdown one more time I swear I am going to scream. > .<

Nostalgia Trip
(chapter seventeen - the seventeenth chapter of the story. just a few strides left...)


[FONT=&quot]Uxie was correct. Mesprit is probably - scratch that, definitely - the most mentally unstable being in existence, and she was bound to do something like this eventually. And, knowing Mesprit, it would be done with a ridiculously big bang…[/FONT]



[FONT=&quot]"Well… I really don't want to monologue evilly for you, but I still want you to leave this world with some answers. So after we get you three accommodated, interrogation may begin…" Mesprit got up from her position and looked down over the edge of her ledge-seat, into the cavern below. "Release the guards!" She chirped, somehow sounding menacing and evil at the same time.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]A new voice spoke, shrouded in the shadow of the corridor. "Honchkrow, use Embargo on the boy and girl. Machamp, make sure that Mr. Brilliant over here isn't comfortable."[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mister Brilliant? [FONT=&quot]Cyrus thought. There is only one person in the world with enough nerve to call me that. But she couldn't have…[/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Almost immediately, luminous purple orbs of energy shot out of the corridor and, swishing through the aor with a loud whistling sound, began to circle Caro and Kris, acting like a barrier or one of those sci-fi force field traps. Meanwhile, a Machamp lunged out and, dodging the Embargo, grabbed Cyrus by the arms.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"And what do you expect Embargo is going to do? All it does is make the target incapable of receiving help from items." Cyrus said, not bothering to kick the Machamp – it would probably grab on to his legs with its second pair of arms, and that would be even worse.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"On Pokemon, yes." Mesprit nodded. "In that case, you're exactly right. For humans, who are entirely different as a species, the function is a lot different. To you all, an Embargo acts as a paralyzer that prevents you from moving the body below your neck until the Embargo is lifted. And I don't think our friend here is going to lift it any time soon." She looked down to the tunnel's entrance again, and smiled wickedly. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Come in, Yami."[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]A woman stepped out of the shadow, and bowed slightly to Mesprit above her. She didn't seem to be much in the way of color – a black shirt and pants, covered by a long, billowing trenchcoat that was considerably tattered and worn. Her wide-brimmed Murkrowesque hat hid the top half of her face, but that didn't stop her from putting on dark sunglasses to further shield the light (and her vision). Almost as if she wanted to hide her eyes… hm.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]She had a tall, thin, almost slouching frame, and pale skin. Her hair was black and flowed down past her shoulders, forming into thick spikes at the bottom. The automatic place for her hands seemed to be in the pockets of her trenchcoat.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Hello, people." She gave a wry smile, and took her hands out of her pockets only to fold them across her chest. Mesprit looked down to her and asked, "Hey, want to get up here? It's way more fun for laughing at them." Kris grimaced.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"No, no. That's alright, Mesprit. I'm fine down here. It looks so much better when the good parts come." Yami shrugged.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Suit yourself. Any questions?" Mesprit turned her attention back to the three hostages, tilting her head ever so slightly.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Here's one," Kris practically shouted, "why are you trying to kill Caro and I, too? Isn't it just him you want?" She inclined with her head towards Cyrus, still being held in the air by Machamp.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mesprit's eyes lit up. She had expected this one. "First, I'm not trying to kill you. I'm trying to destroy you. When you 'kill' someone, they can be brought back if you can convince Arceus to go for it. When you 'destroy' someone, you can't bring back their soul or their body. It's all gone. Burned. Ripped to pieces. Eaten. Destroyed!"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Cyrus was now throwing any personal beliefs to the wind and was glaring angrily at Mesprit. "This is insane!" he spat.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"And so are you," Mesprit said, putting a small frown on her face and raising her head. Yami laughed. "Why am I taking you two, as well?" Mesprit continued. "Well, there are two reasons: One, you two are witnessing this entire shabang and therefore must be dealt with, and two, it's just more fun." She beamed. This thing really had gone crazy.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"I'm beginning to get pretty tired of that excuse," Kris spat. She winced and gasped as the Embargo around her tightened.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Oh, yes," Mesprit chirped. "Did I mention Embargoes can also squeeze the life out of you?"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]She was saying all of this with a completely optimistic tone, making it that much easier to get very, very mad at her. This was supposed to be an epic finale – Kris and Caro are paralyzed from the waist down, Cyrus is being hung from his hands by a giant Machamp (not to mention being reunited with the exclamation point), who apparently belongs to someone he knows. And Mesprit was totally slaughtering the mood by beaming and speaking in the most pleasant way possible? You'd think she would be a bit more ser- oh, hold on. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Never mind.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Question two." Cyrus spoke again. "What is she doing here?" He inclined to Yami with his head, due to his lack of range with his hands.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Ah, yes. Yami. Nearly forgot about her, silly me." Mesprit smiled evilly. "You're referring to my assistant over here? I'm sure you must be completely puzzled by why she is so willing to do what I say, and so enraged at you. Let me tell you now – all that fury is totally authentic. I didn't put in any of it. Deep inside that emotional bottle of hers, she really, really hates you. Couldn't imagine why…" Mesprit laughed evilly. "I just messed with her loyalty and self-control a bit… you know, to make the transaction go smoother?"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Kris turned her head to look at Cyrus. "Are you saying that you know this lady?" she asked. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Silence.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"You know, telling us something would seriously help here!" Caro hissed, beginning to get angry.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"There's really no point in telling them," Mesprit's malicious smile stretched further. "I think that we should just let Yami's eyes do the talking, don't you think? It would make for a much more dynamic revelation. Yami, take off your sunglasses."[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The woman slunk up to the people being held hostage by her Pokemon. Cyrus couldn't help feeling Machamp's breathing get faster - it wasn't exactly helping his situation. Bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! Very bad… [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Oh Arceus. Why did Mesprit have to bring her?[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]She smiled wickedly, and took off her hat and sunglasses. At that point, it was completely apparent why she had done so much to shadow the upper side of her face.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]This is insane! Completely insane![/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Her eyes were a rather odd gray color that seemed to look right through you sometimes, and other times were just there, not looking like they did anything.[/FONT]



[FONT=&quot]Everyone was silent for a few minutes. After that had finished, Kris was mumbling things under her breath, and Caro kept looking frantically between Cyrus and Yami. After a while of this, he groaned loudly.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Mesprit! Not cool!" The boy groaned.

She nodded proudly.
[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Brilliant, eh? They're exactly alike!" Her tone turned darker again. "Alright. Now that we have that all taken care of, we can start the summoning, yeah?" Everyone turned up to look at her.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Summoning?" Kris shouted. "Summoning who?"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mesprit laughed maliciously. "Oh, you know." She lowered her head ominously, so that the shadow went farther down her face and obscured her eyes. She got up and floated a few feet above her perch above the door, and then spoke. "Nobody special…"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Just an old plot device of yours." Mesprit jangled the Chain again, as Yami smiled. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Nice quote," she said up to Mesprit.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Thank you." Mesprit smiled genuinely at her for a second, before her face twisted back to its now-usual malevolence. "GIRATINA!" She shouted as she flew over their heads. The Embargoes holding Caro and Kris flung them around gracelessly, and Machamp turned in much the same manner. "YOU MAY COME OUT NOW!"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Yami gave one last evil smirk at Cyrus before walking back to join Mesprit.[/FONT]



[FONT=&quot]Black drops began to bleed out in the center of the room, eventually being filled by a larger hole. It grew bigger and bigger, soon swelling to such a size that it stretched from almost one side of the walkway on which it rested to the other. Two red pricks of light appeared in the middle of the inky blackness, and from it raised a huge tower of shadow with six luminous red spikes drumming against each other, three on each side, in the center. It soon became apparent that the pricks of light were meant to be eyes.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mesprit reclined backwards; looking almost relaxed, she put her hands behind her head to watch the spectacle. Yami returned her hands to her pockets and leaned against the wall.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The red spikes stopped drumming and flung themselves outwards, where they suddenly revealed themselves to be claws of some sort on a giant set of… well… paws. But, you know, that's just the way Origiratina rolls. The shadow reared up like a giant serpent, and it spread out its claw-things menacingly...[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot](It should be noted that Cyrus is shaking violently and breathing unevenly at this point. You didn't honestly expect him to stare into space through this entire thing, did you?)[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]And Origiratina stayed there. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]No pouncing violently on anyone this time, thank Arceus for that. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]It just stood there, waiting for Mesprit to give it orders. It began to move the claws, bringing them out of their ominous rearing position, and did the most amazing thing – Origiratina crossed them. It glowered at Cyrus, and its glowing eyes narrowed. "Hello," It spat in a cold, echoing tone.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Yes, yes, I'm sure you're quite eager to start the reunion." Mesprit nodded understandingly, and floated up right next to Origiratina, much to his – her? - annoyance. "But try to act as imposing as you possibly can. It's way, way more fun." She nodded at Origiratina, who nodded back. Kris' grimace deepened.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Really?" He – she? Forget it, let's call Origiratina an 'it' - said, after pausing to think it over. "That sounds interesting. All right… hold on; let me get in character…" It took a deep breath, and reared back even further, as if it were about to unleash a giant Flamethrower.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhoooooooooOOOOOOOOOOH!"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Alright, that's better. Sayonara, loonies!" Origiratina, still cloaked in shadow, stretched up out of the wormhole to such an extent that he was barely touching it, and reared its shadowy claws again.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"And now!" Mesprit cheered. "Now, all will end. And all will begin... for you three, anyway. Gyahahahaha!" [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] With one fell swipe, Origiratina brought the huge glob of shadow down.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]It swung towards the trio like a giant pendulum (with glowing red spikes pulsing and twitching for added effect). The Machamp was hastily called back into its Pokeball, flinging his hostage to the floor, and the Embargo lifted, just before the shadow-claw reached the three defenseless humans thrust to the ground. For some reason, maybe Cyrus' brain working in overdrive to analyze the situation, something Yami whispered rang in his ears loud and clear:[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"See you never, bro…"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]And all was white.[/FONT]




[FONT=&quot]As Mesprit disappeared into another dimension with her Mad Legendary Skillz, Yami regained her previous mindset (meaning, before she was practically brainwashed). She could remember everything that had just happened, and as she recalled it a look of horror swept over her face. She looked back up at Mesprit's perch, breathing in ragged gasps and seriously hating herself.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Arceus… what have I done…?"

[/FONT]
Before you ask, yes. Yami is Cyrus' sister. She was an old character I had retired a while ago, but since Cyrus was in this story I might as well add her. C:
 

JX Valentine

Your aquatic overlord
3,277
Posts
19
Years
Why this gets no reviews is anyone's guess, really. It's actually got a great storyline, with believable, entertaining characters and original plot. The opener alone is an eye-catcher that essentially takes the old PMD clichés beats them over the head with a lead pipe, and rifles around for things to use for an original plot. Don't get me wrong. That's actually a compliment. As in, you set up the fic making us think it'll be another PMD fic, but by the end of just the first scene, it's pretty obvious that we're not looking at a Pokémon who's going to save the world. Likewise, within two chapters, you actually manage to invert the genre as an added bonus.

The breaking of the fourth wall felt a bit jarring at first, but to be honest, it really works by reminding the reader on a constant basis that this isn't serious business. That way, you end up taking a fic loaded with adventure and, well, Cyrus's brand of happiness and keep it lighthearted and interesting, rather than wandering down dark and angsty paths. Sure, a legendary went flipping psychotic. Sure, she wants Cyrus dead for attempting to rip apart the universe. Sure, she's manipulating the lovely trainers and Pokémon he encounters. The humor that you pepper this fic with allow it to dance away from becoming just another dark fic in which mortals go up against legendaries.

Also, you get extra points for your portrayal of the legendaries as a whole. For example, the entire using Arcanine as a Metatron thing plants amusing images of Arcanine as brown-nosing groupies in my head. Darkrai is only mentioned as evil in the text, but he otherwise doesn't really care about what's going on, making the entire evil thing seem almost like another joke. Uxie's nonchalant attitude made him likeable, and watching the way Azelf spoke to the group was amusing.

Then, of course, you had Mesprit. Oh, Mesprit. I love her when she's psychotic. It's just not what one would expect (because she's cute and… pink), but it fits so much. Not to mention watching her brand of crazy is incredibly refreshing. All too often in this fandom, you have the kind of evil that's obviously evil. As in, yeah, okay, they're surrounded by an evil aura, and they're doing something that's obviously illegal. They drip in evil, a la Darkrai over there. But Mesprit? Psycho***** as a result of messed up morals and her own element working against her? Actually, honest-to-God insane, rather than just slightly misguided? Not a villain often used in the Pokémon fandom, probably because it's one knife short of not designed for kiddies. But even then, it's anyone's guess why that kind of crazy doesn't pop up in fanfiction anymore.

That all aside, there's just a few things to clean up. At various points in the fic, there's just a few things that can best be caught through a spell-checker (or by turning on spell check as you type so you get the red squiggles under words and thus can see whether or not you're screwing up one), and there's a few dialogue rules and comma rules that I'm going to go over through a review of your latest chapter (which will also include some bits that just apply to it). I'd go over the rest, but come now. Sixteen chapters. Sorry, dear, but I don't lack that much of a life.

swishing through the aor

I'm guessing you mean "air" here. Like I said, there were certain parts of earlier chapters that could use just a once-through with a spell checker. I know that makes a computer want to commit suicide when trying to handle a Pokémon fanfiction, but there is a way to cheat:

If you're using Microsoft Word or Open Office, learn how to turn on the red squigglies that you get whenever you misspell a word. (In Word, this is Tools > Options > Spelling & Grammar > Check spelling as you type. I don't recall off the top of my head what it is in Open Office.) By doing this, you can physically see what words are misspelled as you go along, so you can easily go back and figure out what's correct and what's actually a typo.

"And what do you expect Embargo is going to do? All it does is make the target incapable of receiving help from items." Cyrus said,

Another thing to note is that whenever you have dialogue, there's a few rules. It's easier to explain by first defining what the parts of dialogue are:

1. The quote. Obviously, everything in the quotation marks.
2. The dialogue tag, or the part that says "he said," "she said," whatever. Note that tags need to define how a quote is said and who said it. If you don't have that but have the speaker interrupt their dialogue with some action, then it's just an interruption.

Now, how you punctuate dialogue all depends on where the dialogue tag is. If it comes before the quote, you need a comma at the end of the tag. If the dialogue tag comes in the middle, you might need dashes or commas, depending on what the circumstances are. If the dialogue tag comes after the quote, you'll need a comma if the quote itself would otherwise end in a period.

To make it even clearer, the rules are like this:

Tag Before Quote
Rick said, "I'm going to the store. Mary, don't wait up."

Tag in the Middle of the Quote
"I'm going to the store," Rick said. "Mary, don't wait up."
OR
"I'm going to the store." Rick said, "Mary, don't wait up."
OR
"I'm going to the store. Mary," Rick said, "don't wait up."
OR
"I'm going to the store. Mary—" Rick turned to face her. "—don't wait up."

Tag After Quote
Statements: "I'm going to the store. Mary, don't wait up," Rick said.
Exclamations: "I'm going to the store. Mary, don't wait up!" Rick said.
Questions: "I'm going to the store. Mary, don't wait up, okay?" Rick said.

Not a Tag
"I'm going to the store." Rick picked up his jacket and nodded to his sister. "Mary, don't wait up."

Confusing, yeah, but just remember that the tag isn't technically its own sentence.

it would probably grab on to his legs with its second pair of arms, and that would be even worse.

I feel like this should be its own sentence. It can really stand on its own.

She looked down to the tunnel's entrance again, and smiled wickedly.

Be careful about commas. Not all sentences with conjunctions (such as "and") are compounds. Try replacing the comma and conjunction with a period. If it forms two separate sentences, then the comma's okay to leave in the text. If it doesn't, then take it out. (There's exceptions, of course, that are basically the other comma rules, but this is a simplified tool to help you avoid inserting a comma into a sentence, thinking it's a compound.)

She had a tall, thin, almost slouching frame, and pale skin.

Same thing about commas here. Because this is technically a list with only two items, the comma isn't needed to separate the part about her frame from the part about her skin. You'd need commas if you had more items, though.


Other than those, really, your work is pretty clean. Despite working with a deadline, it's obvious you've taken your time with this. Not to mention, as I've said before, the plot and characterization were actually good, the humor didn't make me want to beat myself up with a spiked club, and as a result, I think I kinda like Cyrus now.

About this chapter specifically, you've got Mesprit's crazy and the age-old device of, "Oh snap. You're my sister, and you hate me." Granted, I'm not actually saying that's a bad thing. I actually like it, mostly because I really wasn't expecting Yami to be Cyrus's sister at all. In fact, I thought she was Jupiter incognito, if anything else. So, extra points for catching me off-guard.

Not to mention, hey, even if it is a bit of a cliché, it's one of my favorites, if only for the part where the sibling squirms.

Overall, I enjoyed this, and I'm looking forward to the next chapters. Good work.
 

Giratina ♀

what's your sign?
1,439
Posts
15
Years
  • Age 27
  • Seen Jul 23, 2013
Aww, thank you! =D Don't worry, you don't have to run over the rest of the story. There's not very many chapters left anyway. I posted the request for someone to beta it when the story was about a fourth of the way through, and to be honest I didn't expect anyone to even look at the thread now. xD

You're right, I felt my liking for both Mesprit and Cyrus go up while writing Metal Coat too. The first draft of this story was written before I learned the 'quote-comma rule', and even though I went over it I might have missed some things. Dark and angsty fics are not my kind of story, and seeing as most of the plot was thought up at eleven at night waiting to fall asleep it's not a very serious story.

I was a bit worried about the whole Yami-and-Cyrus-are-related deal. Like I said before, I made up Yami when Diamond and Pearl just came out - I wasn't a very good author or roleplayer back then. xD I figured that if I was ever going to confirm that they were brother and sister, it would probably be best to do it near the end of the story so that such a clichéd detail wouldn't seem quite as blunt.

And there is a reason for breaking the fourth wall, I assure you.

Anyway, thank you so much for reviewing this. ^^ I don't know why there's been a grand total of about five posts that weren't by me either, but I think it's because this is my first story on here. x3
 
Last edited:

Giratina ♀

what's your sign?
1,439
Posts
15
Years
  • Age 27
  • Seen Jul 23, 2013
Legend will carry you thousands of miles.

So Long, and Thanks For... well... Nothing
(chapter eighteen - the eighteenth and final chapter of the story. there's still an epilogue, so sit tight.)


This is, by no means, the end of the story. Arceus, no. I left you in just about the biggest cliffhanger in history – something has to happen to the three victims of Mesprit's lunacy, right? Well, something did. Rest assured, kids…



Three figures were lying on empty space.

It was almost as if an invisible floor was the only thing stopping the unconscious humans from falling into an endless spiral of white nothingness, the only thing keeping them up. All three were out cold – until one, a young boy with a bizarre brown ponytail of a haircut, brought himself to his knees.

The boy was breathing rapidly as his mind tried to recall what had happened a few minutes ago. He looked down at himself, and shook his head. An orange shirt, two brown stripes slashed across the back. Ripped blue jeans. Brown shoes. Caro could hardly believe this was even possible, much less happen to him. But since he had met Helio, all thoughts of being remotely normal were flung out the hypothetical window.

And Arceus only knows how this insanity replaced it.

He shifted his gaze over the white nothingness. He stood up. Too fast, apparently, as a headache began to pound in his ears. He looked over the two other figures lying around him – a blond-headed girl and a man with slightly creepy steel-blue hairspikes. Caro sat down and put his head in his hands.

He quickly straightened himself out as his ears picked up sound vibrations – music was playing. Somehow, someway, there was music playing.

The music got louder. And louder. Eventually, Kris came to, but quickly regretted it and put her hands over her ears. Her blond hair fell down to around her shoulderblades, and she was wearing a cream shirt. Her white pants were in much the same condition as Caro's, as were the white sneakers she wore. She went over to inspect Cyrus. Much to her surprise, she walked over to him only to find that his eyes were, in fact, open. He had been lying there silently, unmoving.

The music, thankfully, began to get softer. Caro sighed with relief.

"That was good music, once you got past the volume, wasn't it?" Kris noted. Caro rolled his eyes.

"Only Kris would comment on how pretty a piece of music was when it's blasting our eardrums out of our heads." He chuckled.

Cyrus chose this moment to confirm that he was alive. He got up and, finding no place to lean on, put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and looked around. The tall man's face was, as usual, completely emotionless.

"Do you have any idea where we are?" Kris mused.

"I do, in fact." Cyrus said blankly, not turning to look down on Kris but rather continuing to look around. "It seems to me that you two are going home." Kris was silent, but Caro had to say something.

"Wait- what? We're going home? Like, you mean, without you?" Caro pointed at Cyrus.

"No. Judging by the fact that I'm still here, I must be coming with you."

Caro was silent. For once, he looked like he was thinking hard. Or reminiscing. Either one seemed appropriate. The oddly thought-provoking, reflection-inducing music in the background was not helping.

Caro suddenly noticed a bump in Cyrus' jacket. "Hey. Helio." He said. Cyrus glanced down at him. "Can I look in your pocket?"

"No… the only things of interest in there are my Pokeballs."

"Oh, come on! Please?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeease?"

"No."

Caro frowned and walked over to him. Without warning, he shoved his hand in Cyrus' left pocket and kept it there, no matter how hard Cyrus attempted to yank it out. Finally, Caro withdrew his hand holding a small piece of metal.

"What's this?" He said in a cold voice.

Cyrus opened his mouth, but identified the item and closed it again. He did not answer after that. Caro looked at it again, and his eyes widened.

"I'm serious. What is this thing?" He rattled the machine.

Cyrus looked away, and whispered, "A bomb. And don't shake it."

Kris jumped. "WHAT?" She shrieked. "A bomb is… like… you use it to blow up things! And create a big old diversion! Right?"

Silence.

"A bomb." Caro said coldly. "What you're saying here is that we went through Never-Turn-Back and then some, whacked around by a Legendary controlled by another Legendary who's gone mad, met a woman who's eyes look suspiciously like yours, been trapped by an Embargo, and been at the mercy of a fluffy little being of love, and you had a BOMB in your pocket the whole entire time?"

"That's the general concept, yes."

Caro made an unpleasant-sounding noise halfway between an agitated groan and a roar and flung the bomb over his shoulder. "That was completely stupid of you. How do you forget about a bomb in your pocket?" Caro growled, icy tone still present.

"For the first part of the second Incident-" This was Cyrus' term for what had happened a few chapters ago- "I had about as much of an idea as you did about what was going on. For the second half, I was hanging by my arms in a Machamp's grip. I don't see any bomb-flinging opportunities there. If you do, feel free to sha-" But he was cut short by a deafening noise.

"FOR THE LOVE OF ARCEUS! DO NOT FLING YOUR EXPLOSIVE HUMAN MACHIENERY ANYWHERE IN NEVER-TURN-BACK, WILL YOU?!?" I appeared in front of them, distorting the whiteness.

(It should be noted by now that yes, I am the narrator of this story. The only part that was actually in real third person narrative was the prologue… from the first chapter on, it was me watching and narrating on a Word document. That's where all of these side-notes came from.)

"Uh, excuse me for that." I coughed. "First impressions, you know. Important things to consider."

I was floating in air, though the huge black wings on my back were not beating. My body was mostly gray and was roughly fifteen feet tall. A black and red stripe went down my stomach and to the spine extension most people call a tail, stretching up my long neck (adorned with extremely cool-looking gold ring-shaped objects that thinned out near the stripe and thickened to the side) and the last black square's color migrated to my head, which was, arguably, even crazier-looking than the rest of my body combined.

The first thing you noticed were the very large, thick spikes that stuck out on both sides and framed the head, with the effect of downturned ears. A crescent-moon shape was slammed in the middle of my forehead, same gold color as the headspikes. Attached to said headspikes were two long, golden horns, which stuck outwards from my head. Bright red eyes gleamed from behind the mask, set out on a dark gray face. I floated in midair, giant shadow-wings spread wide.

"I am Guardian Giratina." I nodded my head towards the three people in front of me. Caro and Kris were dumbstruck. Cyrus was looking off into space, as usual.

"And you three are going to…" I returned all six legs to the ground and waved my wing, and a black clipboard with blood-red paper appeared to my right. The clipboard floated over to me as I scanned the paper on it. "Uh-huh… return trip… second time for Cyrus… yes. Okay." The clipboard disappeared.

"Question," Caro spoke. "How are you floating? You're not beating your wings."

"Well, that's an easy one!" I smiled. "You're in Never-Turn-Back! It's the gray area between the Pokemon worlds – and where I'm in charge… I can do anything in here."

Caro gasped. "No you can't!" he said.

"Yes he can," Cyrus replied, still staring off into space.

"He?" I groaned. "I'm a female, in case you hadn't noticed. And yes. I can distort anything in this place, and make anything happen."

"So, that music!" Kris suddenly remembered.

"Yes, I did that too. It's called Un Monde Sans Danger. That means A World without Danger, I think…" I shrugged.

"I still don't believe you," Caro grumbled.

"What? You need more proof? Suit yourself…" I looked around (even though there was nothing that could help me), searching for something that I could use to prove my powers to Caro.

"Okay… let's try a different musical number, then." I thought for a few beats, swishing my large and extremely imposing wings in random directions (unfortunately, Cyrus didn't flinch every time I waved one near him). I returned to the big blob of white that was my little ground area, and thought. From the deepest depths of my cruel, cruel mind, I came up with something. "Ah! I have an idea."

I spread my wings dramatically, and the sound of thunder crashed in the background… however, the ominous chord was quickly replaced with something a bit more light-hearted.

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand…


I was roaring with laughter. "You, dear friends, have been Rickrolled!"

Kris was laughing so hard, she needed to sit down; I quickly provided a large and quite comfortable couch so that she didn't crack her skull or something. Caro was performing a glorious facepalm with perfect form, and Cyrus was staring at me blankly. (I'd be willing to bet ten thousand Poke that he didn't get the joke!)

"Can't you do something a little more impressive than that?" Caro asked. I nodded, and took my thinking position again.

"Hair color? No… violent pink background? Nah, I don't like pink…" Finally, my eyes fell on Cyrus. My cruel, cruel mind whirred into motion once more. "Perfect." I chirped. After some brief evil grinning, I spread out my left wing, and Cyrus was raised a few feet into the air. (Yep, his face was still blank.)

"See Cyrus' jacket? Right now, it's the length that it is in most of the media. Most, except for the D-P Adventures manga, where it's less of a jacket and more of..." Cyrus' jacket promptly got longer, stretching down to his knees- "a lab coat. But I personally prefer the way it is in the anime and games, so…" It returned to its original length. As if this were not bad enough, writing appeared to the right of Cyrus' head as if it were being written with a black Sharpie marker, right in midair:

"Not amused." Cyrus certainly fit the description.

"Thank you for being the guinea pig, Cyrus," I chirped. Returning my wing to its usual position, Cyrus unceremoniously fell to the ground again. The writing disappeared a few seconds later.

"Do you believe me now?" I looked at Caro expectantly. He frowned.

"How?" Caro asked.

"Magic," I said quickly.

"Now. According to this here," I waved my wing and the black clipboard appeared again, "you three are headed for Treasure Town. Your reason for departure from the current universe was… oh Mew." My face fell as I quickly read the paper that had now attached itself to the clipboard. "That must have not ended well."

As I said this, a blotch of blackness began to bleed across the white to their left as if it were paper that some moron opened his pen and dumped the contents on. "Meh, stinks to be you. Anyway, that portal over there's yours. Go through, you three, go through…" I waved my wing again, with no odd side affects this time. Caro and Kris ran for it, but Cyrus took his time to inspect the portal before entering.

"Hey!" I shouted after them. "You might feel a little… tingling sensation, but it should go away in a few min-" I stopped yelling a few seconds in, noticing the portal had closed when the words were halfway out of my mouth.

Thus accomplished, I returned to the ground and started talking to myself; hey, it gets boring sometimes being all alone in here.

"I don't believe it. She was serious when she said that? But she must have changed her plans… if she did kill those three like she said she would, they would be somewhere else right now…" I shuddered. "I like it so much more here in Never-Turn-Back."

I turned around and spread both wings out in a menacing manner; there appeared a giant television and a laptop on a desk. My wings turned into long, black, human-shape hands, and I waited for the saga to continue.

The fanfic section would love this.

The screen flickered to life, and I posed my makeshift hands onto the keyboard…



Three Pokemon woke up.

They were in a cavern, a very standard and ordinary one. The only thing that differenciated it from any other boring cavern in any other boring place was that there was a giant, gaping hole that went from the ceiling all the way up to the sky, where the sun was shining brightly.

Kris looked down at herself and smiled widely. Caro did much the same thing. They got up, ran around the room a few times, and began to do a strange (but extremely energetic) dance. Helio - Cyrus? – watched calmly from the shadows. As the two other Pokemon put on their whooping and screaming and general noises of delight, he couldn't help but notice that faint voices were echoing from the only exit.

"Stop," he told them, "and listen. Someone's coming."

"There's a monster in there!" This voice was high-pitched and squeaky.

"A monster. Really." This other one was extremely gravelly, like the speaker had a sore throat.

"Yeah! I-it was shrieking!"

Helio took the opportunity to glare at Kris and Caro, who had stopped dancing like idiots and were completely silent.

"I didn't hear anything."

"Well, I did."

There was one set of pawsteps and a lot of whooshing noises. Kris, Caro, and Helio backed away from the door, farther into the room.

"What is it?" the female voice asked.

"This," the gravelly voice said, "is your monster." Another whooshing noise, and something made of metal flew into the room. Helio aimed a magnet at it and brought the object closer, where he could identify it. Had he followed a different philosophy, his eyes would have widened in surprise.

This was one of his screws that had evidently come loose.

Helio silently scolded himself for not remembering to do a check-over as the conversation started up again.

"But… it made a noise," the high-pitched voice whimpered.

"It might have come from a monster of some sort," the gravelly voice continued, "but it has no life force of its own. I'd bet you 500 Poke that this thing came from a Magneton that entered this place not too long ago."

Kris and Caro looked around, and their jaws dropped simultaneously.

This chamber was the very one that had sparked (no pun intended) their lifetime-amount adventure.

"Do you really think that came from Helio?" the high-pitched voice asked. Kris and Caro's eyes darted over to the Magneton, who didn't look back at them but stayed perfectly still.

"How should I know?" argued the rocky voice. "Besides, it isn't important anyway. Helio's gone. Dead, probably. So are the other two. There's nothing here – we should take a different route."

It was at this point Helio's gaze slid over to meet the other two Pokémon's scared faces.

Just how long had they been gone?



An Arcanine bounded through Treasure Town. Its broad paws pounded on the cobblestone walkway, not pausing for anything and swerving out of the way of other Pokemon. Everyone who saw him didn't get mad – they were filled with excitement. Arcanines only come when there's important news!

"No!" He kept shouting. "Do not follow me! I have private business!"

He did not stop until he reached a cliff face. Looking down, the Arcanine shuddered. The huge Sharpedo-shaped cliff and the water below made him nervous – falling in would spell death for him, ignoring completely his weakness to water. The Arcanine whimpered softly and jammed his eyes shut.

This continued for a few minutes until the large, cream-furred Pokemon could pull itself together. Shaking his head firmly, the Arcanine reminded himself of what he was here to do. Looking up, he swept his gaze over the cliff face, and finally found what he was looking for. Padding over to a large hole, he thumped firmly on the trapdoor over it. Immediately, a Raichu opened the door.

"Hey," he said. "Are you here for anything?"

"Uh… yes. Yes I am." The Arcanine nodded stiffly. "You are Caro, right?"

"Yeah. How come?"

"I have a message for you."

"You don't look like a Pelipper."

"That's because it is not ordinary mail." The Arcanine handed Caro a thick envelope. The Raichu opened it, and his eyes widened. He scrutinized it for quite a while, until he came to an extremely educated and well thought out conclusion.

"This is in Unown runes," he said rather stupidly.

"If I'm not mistaken, that Magneton who is staying with you can read them," the Arcanine replied calmly.

"Oh yeah! Hold on a sec…" The Raichu nodded and scampered down the stairs. "Oi, Helio!" he shouted from the stairwell into the 'house'. "Can you translate this?" The Raichu waved the letter in Unown runes in one paw. A soft whirring noise came from the hole.

"Where did you get that?" A somewhat-mechanical voice echoed from the unseen darkness beyond the Raichu's fluffy form.

"Come up here," Caro said, "and I'll show you."

Caro returned to the surface, along with a Magneton floating a few feet behind him. "Hello," he said to the Arcanine in much the same tone as before.

"Hello." The Arcanine nodded. "There should be a Persian here, too."

"That would be me." A cream-colored cat padded up to them from the hole. "What are you here for?" she asked.

"You three were sent to the human world a while ago, were you not?" They all nodded. "After… a quick departure, we were able to recover your bodies. They were, surprisingly enough, completely unharmed. You know what this means, don't you?" The Arcanine probably thought that they didn't, and was about to give the answer.

"We can return to the human world if we wish," Helio cut in.

"Uhh... Precisely. So I need you three to make a choice." The Arcanine nodded. "Do you wish to stay here, or return to the human world and continue the life you began as normally as is possible?"

Everyone stared at him for a long time.

I told you there was a reason!
-Giratina
 
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Giratina ♀

what's your sign?
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15
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  • Age 27
  • Seen Jul 23, 2013
Let me wake you up.

Aftermath of the Aftermath
(the epilogue - the part after the story ends. it's short. keep in mind this happens a few months after the events of
Metal Coat
.)

A lone figure stood on one of the numerous beaches around Sunyshore City, leaning against a cliff face. Anyone who noticed the sunset reflecting off of him would probably recoil immediately. Everyone knew who he was, and nobody liked it.

His hair was short, steel-blue, and in thick hairspikes. He was about as tall as an Arcanine (six feet), and leaned against the rocky cliff with his arms crossed. His face betrayed no emotion whatsoever. He was wearing black pants, and a gray jacket that mostly covered his white shirt. The sleeves on this jacket were black, and there were two gray stripes running around the jacket itself.

These stripes crossed over another pattern – it seemed to be the top half of a round-edged rectangle going around the back and sides of the jacket. A stylized image resembling the letter G was positioned on the jacket, near his left arm. A bigger version of it appeared on the jacket's back. His face was narrow and pale, with protruding cheekbones. His gray, almost lifeless eyes stared ahead, not looking like they were doing anything.

Cyrus was, apparently, lost in thought. He was watching the sun set for no reason other than it was something to do.

It had been roughly two months since he'd left Treasure Town for the last time. Without meaning to, he often found mind wandering off to the Persian and Raichu he had first met a good ten years ago. Such is the effect after having experiences like that, I suppose.

That wasn't like him – usually people he no longer knew faded out of his mind. The exception to this rule being his sister, and now Kris and Caro.

He was left thinking about this until the sound of talking reached his ears. Immediately, Cyrus became aware of the present universe (which he could live with at this point) again. Those voices sounded familiar.

As the voices got louder and eventually stopped, he glanced upwards.

A couple of teenage children were grinning at him from on top of the cliff. One of them was a boy, brown hair in a short ponytail, the other a girl with longer, blonde hair. They got up and scrambled down a natural ramp a little ways away, going as quickly as they could on the rocky surface without getting seriously hurt.

"Oi! Helio!" Caro shouted as they scrambled down the beach, eventually skidding to a halt in front of him. "We missed you. A lot."

"And being in Treasure Town was a pain anyway." Kris frowned. "Everyone kept commenting about where we were and where that old Alakazam in the corner of town went."

"We told them he transported himself to a different universe to follow under a lunatic Mesprit," Caro laughed. "They didn't believe us. So we came here."

"And how did you do that?" Cyrus asked.

"Somehow the Legendaries knew we didn't really want to be in Treasure Town anymore and they sent another Arcanine," Kris replied, shrugging.

"The word 'somehow' is not part of the Legendaries' vocabulary," said Cyrus flatly.

+++++++++++++++++++

Mesprit sat alone in the Celestial Screening Room.

She was watching these three make their sappy reunion for lack of anything better to do; Zapdos had gotten so mad at Raikou for beating it at a thunder-striking contest that it had zapped a giant hole in Oort (the formal name for Up There, where she was now). Unfortunately, this giant hole happened to be in the generator that made Up There do all of it's magical things (i.e., Arceus). This didn't end well, as a nearby possessed Arcanine was quick to explain. Violently.

Unfortunately, while Mesprit was looking for the bathroom (she was barely ever up here and didn't really know her way around) she had entered the Celestial Screening Room when Arceus locked all the doors. So she figured she might as well watch something… and these freaks came on. She tried to find something else, she really did, but apparently the rest of the universe was doing very boring things.

However, as she watched the reunion, she began to calm down again.

Because she was so calm, when the three down below all cracked simultaneous wide smiles and started laughing, she did too.

Because endings just always seem to happen that way…

+++++++++++++++++++

Twenty minutes later, the most absurd traveling group in the history of non-comedy fanfiction were all sitting on the cliff face on which Caro and Kris were perched earlier.

"Well, that was fun..." Kris sighed. "I can't wait until Giratina snaps."

It was silent for a few minutes, until Caro took the liberty of shattering the peace. "You, my dear Kristopher, have some serious issues."

Kris giggled. She and Caro then began to start laughing for a while, simply for the sake of laughing; I mean, think about it. You've just gone through the furnaces down below and back, been nearly destroyed by a Legendary with serious issues, and generally go through all the junk these guys had to go through. You really just have to laugh after it's all finally over.

This holds true for everybody.

The two children fell silent immediately. Caro turned to Cyrus, who was sitting next to him. Caro raised his eyebrow and smiled smugly, looking as if he had won a bet.

"Caught you!" Caro snickered.

Kris turned to look at him, eyes surprised but mouth in a wide smile. "Nice try, Sir Stoic."

"You really shouldn't stare at people like that," Cyrus said in his own special little monotone. "It is considered extremely rude in most cultures."

And all three of them started laughing all over again.


Well, this is the end. The lights have been cut, the story reaches its conclusion, wallbreakery in the earlier chapters have been hopefully explained, the mandatory Not So Stoic moment has been achieved. With these goals in mind, I have successfully posted Metal Coat to most of its potential (no way am I going to run through it again to fix all of the spelling errors... before I rewrite it.) Thanks to Scales, Gooner, and Valentime for commenting - I appreciate it very much. There is now only one thing left to say...

METAL COAT; end.
 
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