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[Pokémon] The Retelling of Pokémon Colosseum

Espreon

Lord of the Nagas
520
Posts
16
Years
  • Seen Mar 16, 2011
Aside from me falling in love with Honchkrow, I've fallen for Mismagius, too. :3

But, considering that's not a part of the gameline...I dunno. D/P wasn't released when Colosseum came out...which would make it...akward. But, it's bobandbill's story, so whatever he so chooses, I'll like it anyway. ^^

And now I'm supposed to be making a vid about the state government. What the heck? I hate movie maker so far...X.x

-Well it really does not matter when the games were released in the real world, it only matters if those games' story line occurs around the same time or before/after the story line of other games. So if we were writing a fan fic about G/S/C we could write about the extra evolutions added in D/P (D/P's story line was around the time of G/S/C's story line) or Hoenn Pokes (because R/S/E's story line was around the time of R/B/Y/FR/LG). If Colleseum's story line was around the same time/afterwards of the story line of G/S/C or D/P then it would work.

-Yeah we will wait for bobandbill to decide

-And get real video editing software
 
Last edited:

Shinobitrainer

Super Ninja Trainer
26
Posts
16
Years
I tried to be critical as I read this story, but I could only find two grammatical mistakes, other than that it's a great story.

Wes was bemused to why Cipher had given such a kid a Shadow Pokemon - despite having a decent Swablu that gave Makuhita a hard time, when commanding his Shadow Slugma to use Shadow Rush, he left his Iggybuff wide open to a powerful attack, sending him high into the air.
Uhm, it's IGGLYBUFF, not IGGYBUFF.

and

the girl who could somehow see Shadow Pokemon are together?
Together with who? I get what you meant, but the sentence was misworded.
 

bobandbill

one more time
16,891
Posts
16
Years
The Loan Sharks thing and the Happy loan thing

In addition I did not know what glum meant, I originally guessed its meaning judging by the context it was used in and that the first 2 letters were the first 2 letters of gloom. When I looked it up to confirm it my guess was right. In fact your fanfic was the first time I saw/heard the word "glum" in it.
Fair enough then.

Anyways - it had been the loan sharks one - the reference in the previous chapter... well, you had mentioned it in your post! 'Twas the side-effects from the truth serum - breakdancing, loss of bone density and what not. It's in the information for some plants such as clover if you look in the 'pokedex' equilvelent of the Pikmin world *coughEarthcough*.
Ok, now I finished the chapter.

It's so great how you think outside the box. I've always wondered about the Gear, too. You can't fit that in a bag. X.x Backaches!

Anyway, I love it...and I can't wait for Miror B.! Everyone has weird names...I thinked for most of my Colosseum files, my name was Seth and my partner was Anca. That's only cause I saw it in Nintendo Power and I thought they fit the description for the names, anyway. O_o

Can't wait to read more!

-Silver
Thanks a lot then. I had named my characters 'Hungry', and Rui... well, I was feeling random, so called her 'Romario'... (see chapter one).
How many more chapters should it be until we get to fighting Miror B.? And for that matter I can't wait til we get to purify Croconaw (Which should mean instant evolution into Feraligator), snag Entei and I also can't wait til we get to Lady Venus.

You don't intend to implement D/P evolutions of Wes' Pokes do you? Like if Wes finds a Dusk Stone and decides to use it on his (eventually to be) purified Misdrevous and have it evolve into Mismagius? I mean if Colosseum took place the time G/S/C and D/P (they occurred at around the same time) then Mismagius and other evolved forms of Gen 1 and Gen 2 and Gen 3 Pokes (that were introduced in D/P) would exist. I highly suggest you do this as it allows more originality to be produced.

Aside from me falling in love with Honchkrow, I've fallen for Mismagius, too. :3

But, considering that's not a part of the gameline...I dunno. D/P wasn't released when Colosseum came out...which would make it...akward. But, it's bobandbill's story, so whatever he so chooses, I'll like it anyway. ^^

And now I'm supposed to be making a vid about the state government. What the heck? I hate movie maker so far...X.x

-Well it really does not matter when the games were released in the real world, it only matters if those games' story line occurs around the same time or before/after the story line of other games. So if we were writing a fan fic about G/S/C we could write about the extra evolutions added in D/P (D/P's story line was around the time of G/S/C's story line) or Hoenn Pokes (because R/S/E's story line was around the time of R/B/Y/FR/LG). If Colleseum's story line was around the same time/afterwards of the story line of G/S/C or D/P then it would work.

-Yeah we will wait for bobandbill to decide

-And get real video editing software
Well, my views are this - the storylines were not made at the same time (Colosseum came before Diamond and Pearl) - but doesn't mean that Sinnoh came after Orre - it's like saying there was no land where America was before it was discovered (for lack of the better example). So basically, there would be those 4th gen evolutions running around - but probably more so in Sinnoh than other places (e.g. more Dusk stones in Sinnoh mayhaps?)

As for what I'll do... well, you'll have to wait and see. ;) Truth be told - haven't quite decided yet - regarding evolution and purification, I might even go against the expected and not have, say, Makuhita and Croconaw evolve (who said they have to be at level 30 anyway?). Don't see any reason not to have 4th gen Pokemon involved - but am undecided on what to do - I'll worry about it when I get to it.

Nice discussion but - nice to see. :)
I tried to be critical as I read this story, but I could only find two grammatical mistakes, other than that it's a great story.
Uhm, it's IGGLYBUFF, not IGGYBUFF.

and
Together with who? I get what you meant, but the sentence was misworded.
Thanks for those - have been fixed... (stupid IggLybuff... :P) . Glad you liked the story as well.

Anyway, here is the next chapter. The 2nd last of the quick-posting spree (although no ten may not be far after :) ).

With the new chapter comes a new pastry, and a re-call of a character that has featured once thus-far in the story. And of course, a lot of comedy thrown in as well. Enjoy!




***

Chapter 8 - Shopping for Victory


There was a short pause before everyone reacted to the news. Even Johnson looked astonished - he actually seemed to have understood what Duking had just said.

"So... Plusle isn't at Super Happy Fun Time Camp?" one of the children said quietly.

"So that's why you've been acting so restrained!" Sherles said before a loud wail stopped him from continuing.

"You m-mean… P-P-Plusle is… gone?" stammered Marcia.

"NO!" bawled the other girl. "THEY TOOK PLUSLE!"

"Oh dear…" Rui said moving to try and comfort the girls with hugs. "But how could Miror B use such a dirty trick? Somehow, he doesn't seem the kind to do that."

"Yes, but we've only encountered him briefly…" said Wes. "Can't really judge him on one encounter."

"Umbreon..." (Poor Plusle…) muttered Umbreon.

"Yes, you see what kind of a situation I'm in," Duking said. "I couldn't even appear to be investigating the Colosseum, as otherwise they could…" Duking trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

Everyone fell silent, pondering the dim situation.

"Could what?" Johnson finally said.

"Espeon?" (How dumb can you get?) Espeon cried out in frustration.

"Oh yeah, sorry, Duking," apologised Johnson. "But don't worry, I'm sure it's fine."

"Plusle was a 'she', not an 'it'," corrected Nett, looking glum.

"Sorry," Johnson said, before he realised that the children seemed to him somewhat upset by Plusle's disappearance. "Don't look so sad! Hey, I have some advice that'll help cheer you up!" he added.

Wes looked at Johnson, wondering what advice the children would have to suffer.

"Be on the lookout for things that make you laugh," he recommended. "If you see nothing worth laughing at, pretend you see it, then laugh."

"Maku," (Sounds about right,) Makuhita exclaimed, looking around the room for something. Seemingly unable to find it, he turned to Johnson and gave him a punch in the gut, causing Johnson to cringe in pain.

"What was that for?" asked Johnson.

"Maku!" (Hahaha!)

"Anyway…" continued Duking, somewhat distracted by Johnson's gems of wisdom, "I've decided to take action, instead of letting Miror B and his goons walk all over me. That's why… I need your help. I can't do anything - but maybe you can."

Ws thought for a moment, before nodding. I'm still not used to this helping business, but I would want help if my own Pokémon were kidnapped. He then tried to ignore his brain helpfully remind him he had helped steal Pokémon himself. "Ok… but how?" asked Wes.

"I want you in the Colosseum challenge, and then to find out what's going on - how, when, anything. Even better would be if you actually won the challenge - then you could get some Pokémon that's rumoured to be given out to the winners. I'm fairly sure they are behind it, and something crooked is going on with that."

"Not a bad idea. But Pokémon get given out? How do you know?" asked Sherles. Wes noticed that Sherles was trying to appear as if he hadn't been helping out Duking behind his back. Makes sense, Wes thought as he looked at the large man. Wouldn't want to make Duking angry.

"Sherles, I know perfectly well that you already know that," replied Duking. Sherles looked slightly surprised, but took it in his stride, shrugging his shoulders in reply.

"Well, then… you do?" asked Sherles.

"Why yes," answered Duking. "And I also know that my children have been helping too," he added, turning to them. "I do have at least some idea on what you do back in that cave. Not to mention that you've left a file open on the computer."

"Dad…" began Secc, but Duking held his hand up for silence.

"And for that, I'm proud of you. The fact that you decided to act - something I should have done a long time ago. So, Sherles," said Duking with a slight tone of happiness and pride in his voice, twisting his head to him, "anything else I should know?" he queried, with a wry smile.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," responded Sherles.

A long and lengthy summary of the present situation followed, detailing Cipher's and Team Snagem's growing power, which had been averted by Wes and Co. To say the least, Duking was shocked.

"I'm shocked!" said Duking. "All this has been happening in our town? And they've been making Shadow Pokémon - those lousy, low-life… loafers… they'll rue the day that they dared enter this town…"

"Calm down, Duking," warned Sherles as Duking picked up a stress ball and gave it a run for its money.

"Don't worry, I'll try and find out what I can through the Colosseum challenge," assured Wes.

"Yes… you're right. I can tell from a glance you are no ordinary trainer, Wes."

"So," coughed Sherles, "I've been thinking - you sure that with the more time spent with a Shadow Pokémon and the correct treatment given to it, the less… Shadow-like it becomes?" asked Sherles.

"Yes - there's no doubt about that," answered Secc.

"Well, the thing now is that Wes has… nine Shadow Pokémon. So how can he purify them at the same time? I think it's best that we purify all the Pokémon as soon as possible."

"Well, I can't, can I?" answered Wes. "Unless you can bend the law saying that I can be excluded from having more than six Pokémon at a time, but I doubt that," he continued. A shake of the head from Sherles confirmed this. All in the room fell silent, pondering this dilemma.

"Ahem," coughed Rui quietly.

Still the room was silent. Rui coughed again, slightly louder.

"You have a sore throat?" asked Wes.

"Espeon! Espi Esp," (I'm thinking that Rui wants to suggest that she should take care of the other Pokémon-)

"Oh, be quiet, Espeon, can't you see we're trying to think?" asked Secc.

"What about me?" asked Rui eventually, slightly annoyed that nobody had caught her drift yet.

"What about you?" asked Johnson, confused.

"What about if I took care of the Pokémon? Seeing as I don't have any and can take up to another six and so then all of the Shadow Pokémon can be purified at once until we get some more?"

"What a good idea!" said Wes at length. "Why didn't you say so before?"

"But I…"

"But Rui, wouldn't you need a trainer card or a P*DA to authorise you with the right to have Pokémon for training?" asked Sherles.

"But I have one!" cried Rui. "The teacher at the Pre Gym gave me one - remember, Wes?"

"Well, that's great!" said Sherles with a smile. "Might as well give her some of the Pokémon now, Wes."

And so within a few minutes, Rui officially became a trainer and the new owner of Quagsire, Flaaffy, Skiploom, Furret and Slugma.

"Wow… I have Pokémon! And five to boot!" Rui said happily. "I wonder if I should nickname them?"

"Um, maybe later, Rui," Wes said quickly, not sure that the Shadow Pokémon deserved nicknames that Rui could come up with. "Besides, they're hard to command as it is and may have had nicknames before – best to address them by species name for the time being."

"Well, now that's sorted out, I'll just give you a free ticket to the Colosseum challenge," said Duking. "Don't lose this - just show it to the receptionist tomorrow and you'll be good to go. Best of luck!" he called, as Wes and Rui departed.

"Thanks!" replied Wes.

***

Wes and Rui decided to head over to the Poké Mart to stock up on supplies and buy some food for the next day. To their dismay, Johnson followed them, still eager to 'help', but Wes thought that at least shopping would distract him.

However, Wes immediately regretted stepping into the shop. The moment he stepped in the teenager wrinkled his nose at the overwhelming smell of cheese. The state of the shop reflected the state of the town. Food was stacked in illogical order, with the store seemingly housing multiple climates within it - one side of the store was producing cold air from the fridges storing the refrigerated stock, while the opposite side of the store was overwhelmingly hot, like a humid rainforest.

"Weird things they sell…" said Rui, eyeing some of the products."Hey, look, books!" she cried, spotting a tray of books. She ran to examine them.

"Hey, Wes, I've been wondering," Johnson began.

"What is it, Johnson?" Wes sighed.

"Is it true that when you die in your dreams, you die in reality?"

"No…"

"Ok, only I heard it from someone, and I had a dream in which I died, but I hadn't really died…" explained Johnson.

It's true that you should die… considered Wes.

"Oh dear…" Rui said, still glancing at the books.

"What?" asked Wes curiously, craning his neck to look at them.

"These books seem rather odd…" muttered Rui as she picked up a few. "Look at this one - 'The Adventures of Rondam and Fiends'?"

"Ok then… that IS an odd title…" agreed Wes.

"'The Official Game Guide to Pokémon Colosseum'? That's odd, didn't think Pyrite could have any games, let alone game guides - hey, it looks like Espeon is on the cover! And look that this one - 'Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence'…" Rui's voice trailed off as she reread the title of the last story.

"Wonder what happens in that story?" Johnson asked.

"Johnson… how about you go look for some ice cream?" said Wes.

"Yay!" shouted Johnson, bounding over to the refrigerated section.

"However did he get to that age with such a small amount of brain cells?" said Wes, scratching his head.

"I don't know."

"Neither do I. But I'm sure he'll go far one day."

"You sure?" asked Rui.

"Yes - and the sooner he goes, the better," Wes added, causing Rui to laugh.

"Aha! Ice cream!" cried Johnson triumphantly, before opening a fridge door and stepping instead to get some. He failed to notice the fridge door close behind him until he tried to get out.

"Hey! Little help here, people?" a muffled voice sounded from the fridge, as Johnson tried to open the door – unfortunately, it wasn't budging one bit.

"What's that? Sorry, can't hear you," replied Wes, blatantly ignoring Johnson's dilemma. "Hey!" he added, as a bystander tapped him on the shoulder a bit too hard. He rubbed his shoulder and frowned. Right in a pressure point too...

"Psst, guy!" the stranger whispered to Wes and wiggling his eyebrows.

"Um, what is it?" asked Wes while glaring at the earnest old man, who didn't seem to have noticed what he had done.

"If I was to offer you ten Poké Balls for ten dollars, would you take it?"

"Umm, yes?"

"If I knew of such a deal, I'd keep it to myself!" the man chuckled.

"Oh, very funny…" muttered Wes, not at all impressed by the joke. Meanwhile, the man went over to view Johnson struggling to break free from his icy prison.

"How about if I offered you ten Poké Balls for ten dollars?" asked the man, ignoring Johnson's pleas for freedom. Johnson then resorted to banging on the door to get the man's attention.

"Hmm, you seem to be of the suspicious sort," the man finally remarked, before walking off.

"You done yet, Rui?" Wes called.

"I guess so," she answered, appearing from an aisle with a large number of items in her arms. Wes's eyes burgled at the sight of the pile, which appeared to be several food items with a pair of legs. Even the shop keeper looked surprised that Rui could ruffle out so much food in so little time, and fresh normal content at that.

"Ok, we'll just have some bread, butter, ham, this yellow cheese, tomatoes, lettuce… potatoes, three Super Potions - actually, make that four - a couple of carrots, a packet of peas, , a bunch of bananas, an orange, apple juice, a pineapple, some rice - ahh, Uncle Ben's rice - biscuits, pretzels, two packets of chips - I believe they're on special - some food for the Pokémon, window cleaner, more bananas, a box of chocolates, a turkey, this stylish toaster…"

"What next, the kitchen sink?" murmured Wes.

"Hey, look, baklava!" cried Rui, spotting a small packet of the aforementioned item of food on a nearby shelf. She immediately dropped everything and went to examine it - unfortunately for the shop keeper, Rui had dropped the majority on his head.

"Hmm, I'll think we'll just take this actually," Rui said. She then jumped back in surprised upon seeing the owner's angry face. "What?" The shop keeper just gave her a furious glare as he went to put every item back from where Rui got them, as Wes and Rui waited patiently. As the shopkeeper came back, he noticed Rui staring intently at the baklava.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I think we'll pass on the baklava actually. Could you please bring everything back?" asked Rui sweetly.

"You mean to say," began the shop keeper none too happily and in a slow, annoyed voice, "you dropped stuff on my head, decided to make me take all of that stuff back, and now you've changed your mind? You seriously want me to go back and get all of those things?"

"Err… pretty please?" tried Rui.

"OUT!" commanded the shop keeper.

"Stupid shop…" grumbled Rui as she and Wes walked out of the store. "At least I still have the baklava," she added, producing the packet of pastries from behind her back, causing Wes to slap his head in sheer bemusement. Meanwhile, the shopkeeper returned to his counter fuming angrily about dumb customers, only to get struck by a fridge door. Johnson stumbled out of the fridge, shivering cold and the worse for wear.

"I see," he muttered, "I was opening the door the wrong way… hey, why are you sleeping?" Johnson asked the shopkeeper who was out cold on the dirty shop floor.

***

Ferma and Reath - please report to Master Miror B's office immediately.

"Oh great," complained Reath as she heard the announcement in her communicator. "Now we have to see the crazed man now!" she continued. "There are two things that I hate - people who are constantly late, and people who have giant afros and strange obsessions with Ludicolo, dancing and music that just loops!"

"Well, personally I like the music…" mumbled Ferma as they walked into Miror B's office, with the aforementioned music blazing in the background.

"Can you explain why you are late yet again for the report I requested?" asked Miror B as they entered.

"We're not late…" began Reath.

"Actually, we are," Ferma said, glancing at her watch.

"Well, whatever," hurried Reath. "What is it?" she asked Miror B.

Miror B frowned slightly and turned down the music. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"What is this about?" asked Reath, impatient. "Has the music gone to your head?"

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong," began Miror B, "But didn't you say that there was something wrong with the windmill, which is required to power up the Colosseum?"

"What do you mean, something wrong?" retorted Reath. "When did we say that?"

"Okay…" muttered Miror B, a small frown growing on his face. "Let's see. The power went out all over town for several hours - luckily this radio can run on batteries - and you came in saying that the windmill had stopped working, and that you were going to investigate only a few hours back. Clearly it's working now, but I got no report, did I not?"

"Uh...when did we say that?" asked Reath again, clenching her fists as she spoke faster. "Are you trying to mess with our minds? We never said such a thing - you're out of your mind."

Wordlessly and with an expressionless face, Miror B pulled out a tape recorder, re-winded it, and played. Reath's voice was clearly recognizable.

"And it seems the windmill has stopped working… me and Ferma are going to investigate this," Reath's voice sounded from the machine.

"…Ok, maybe I did…" conceded Reath, scratching her head in confusion.

"Honestly, believe us, Miror B - neither she nor I remember that conversation, sir," stated Ferma.

"Oh, whatever, the important thing is - is it going to work tomorrow for the Colosseum challenge?" asked Miror B.

"I… guess so," answered Ferma.

"Good - that's what I wanted to hear," said Miror B with a stunning smile. "Reath, what's that you have there?" he asked curiously, spotting Reath twist the black altered Itemfinder in her hands.

"Oh, some junk," she answered. "That fool Johnson dropped it. And it doesn't seem to work… and I really think that that music is not good for you," she added.

"Why, what's wrong with the tune, don't you know that I need to, listen to my music, even if you hate it!" retorted Miror B.

"Well, for starters, you just said that sentence to the song's tune!" pointed out Reath.

"No I didn't do that… hang on, I did…" admitted Miror B.

"Anyway, see ya!" Reath finished, placing the Itemfinder on a desk, only too eager to leave the office that had been recently turned into a dance floor by Miror B. "Come, Ferma," she commanded. Ferma sighed and followed her out of the room.

"Hey, I don't want it!" shouted Miror B, but they had already left. "Oh well, off to the bin it goes," he conceded, picking up the Itemfinder and throwing it over his shoulder towards the bin. The object never made it though - instead it collided with Miror B's afro and sunk into it, disappearing from sight. Miror B strangely seemed not to notice this. Instead he gave a sigh and thought to himself.

The man, who had been once considered the greatest dance prodigy since John Travolta, was having second thoughts over the whole deal. Sure, he got his own dance floor, and having a town under his control was nice, but he missed the shows and the contests he had partaken in with his Ludicolo. He wasn't particularly keen on the whole Shadow Pokémon thing either, and secretly hoped that he didn't have to resort to going ahead with dealing with the Plusle. The whole business reeked of something smelly, like the fish he sometimes fed his Pokémon. And being a criminal certainly wasn't what he had wanted to be in the first place.

I guess that's what you'd expect if you work for a guy with world dominance as one of his primary aspirations, Miror B conceded to his distrust. But that's why we're on his side, is it not? However Miror B knew that it was not quite right. And to boot, the Shadow Pokémon that he had received couldn't even perform a simple dance move! No amount of music or help from his Ludicolo helped in the slightest. Some Shadow Pokémon - the other Administrators got way better Pokémon than him.

Oh well, at least I have my music.

***

The following day it dawned on Rui that the Colosseum Challenge was a popular event for the vast majority of the town. A flood of people of all shapes and sizes flocked up to the old run-down building that housed the battles frequently made there. Most lined up for a seat in the audience, while only a few were gathered separately around the reception area. Wes concluded that this was where the participants were meant to assemble.

"Ok Rui, you go get yourself a ticket and a seat, and enjoy my victory," joked Wes. "I think I'll use Espeon for battle - if there is a Shadow Pokémon being used, I don't think that it'll be wise to try wiping everyone's minds and snagging it there and then after all. We might as well do it later on the off-chance that we encounter a Shadow," he added, taking the Itemfinder - now dubbed the 'Mind Wiper' - off of Espeon.

"Espeon... Esp, Espi, Es…" (But I liked using that… oh well, battling is still fun, I guess…) Espeon sadly said.

"Good luck!" called Rui as she promptly ran to the end of the line. However in her haste she bumped into the last person, who in turn bumped into the person in from of him, causing a domino effect as a wave of falling people collided with the reception desk.

"Oh dear…" murmured Wes to himself. He shook his head and suppressed a laugh before he joined the small group of participants and started paying attention to the receptionist's instructions.

Half an hour later, the Colosseum was filled to the brim with spectators, all priming to cheer or boo the trainers set to compete. A few ordered greasy foods from the occasional passing hot dog man, and took to their seats gingerly. Many a person had fallen after the seat had simply collapsed underneath their weight; once a battle had been held up as a person had landed right on top of a Pokémon.

Rui looked around as she walked through an aisle, searching for a seat. She spied one next to a group of people, and happily bounded towards them.

"Is this seat taken?"

"Well, yes actually…" began one of the people.

"Oh, good, thanks!" exclaimed Rui, clearly not having waited for an answer as she sat down in the seat. "Do you like Pokémon?" she asked.

"Uh…"

"I love Pokémon! I got my own yesterday and I'm so very happy! Anyway, are you cheering for anyone, any friends in the Colosseum challenge?" Rui asked. The man looked uncertainly at her for a moment, waiting to see if she would go on. Rui simply stared right back, seemingly waiting for a response this time.

"Well, my friend is…"

"MY friend is in it too! His name is Wes and he's going to win!" announced Rui.

"Right…"

Duking just then walked onto the middle of the hard, dusty battle arena, causing all in the Colosseum to erupt in cheers.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, Children and Others, I welcome you to the 428th Colosseum challenge!" Duking's voice boomed across the massive building, not requiring the assistance of a microphone. The crowd responded with even more cheering.

"This time we have scrambled up enough competitors for a four round competition - that is, sixteen competitors to try and impress you in Pokémon battles for you to enjoy! First up, we have…" Duking fell silent as he looked at a palm card, "…Hoks? What kind of a name is that? Anyway, we have 'Hoks', and Wes!"

"Woo! Wes! Go Wes!" shouted Rui, causing the person next to her to cover his ears.

"Ok folks, this will be a simple two-on-two battle," concluded Duking, walking off to the side as Wes and Hoks walked on. "Best of luck," he muttered to both, with a wink to Wes as they both assembled at opposite sides of the stadium.

"Ok, release your Pokémon!" commanded Duking.

"Barboach and Sandshrew! I choose you!" shouted Hoks, who was bizarrely dressed as a hunter of some sort, threw two Poké Balls at centre stage. He released both a Barboach - a small blue worm-fish-like Pokémon that started wiggling in the dirt- and a Sandshrew - a small shrew with thin lines crossing all over making patches upon its yellow parched back.

"Oh, come on - that phrase is so overused it's not funny," replied Wes, eager to get on with the battle. "And your Pokémon are a little on the small side. Come on, Espeon and Umbreon! Make this quick!"

"Espeon!" (This will be easy!)

"Umbreon!" (This'll be a walkover!)

"Oh yeah?" retorted Hoks. "You're just jealous that I said it first!"

"Yeah, whatever," mumbled Duking, glancing at his watch. "This battle will now begin!"

"Ok, Sandshrew - use Sand Attack!" commanded Hoks.

"Sandshrew!" (I like sand! Sand Sand Sand!) the small shrew Pokémon shouted, sending a bundle of sand towards Espeon and Umbreon with his arms and legs as it dug up the grainy substance from the ground. However the majority of the clumps of sand fell short of the two Pokémon.

"Pttf. That's all?" asked Wes. "Espeon - show them your Sand Attack!"

"Espi!" (Will do!) acknowledged Espeon, before he concentrated his psychic powers on the ground. Slowly, millions upon millions of grains of fine sand rose from the ground and wobbled in the air.

"Es…pi…on!" (Here...we...go!) shouted Espeon, and with a flick of the head, the sand particles all zipped right back at the Sandshrew.

"Shrew!" (I hate sand!) protested the small Pokémon as the particles started merging into bigger clumps just before they collided with the unfortunate shrew Pokémon. Some grains on the other hand remained separated, giving shorter yet sharper stinging sensations to Sandshrew's body. A few hit the Barboach on the way too, but it simply wiggled deeper into the ground, safe from the onslaught.

"Arrgh!" shouted Hoks as some sand inadvertently hit him as well.

"And what a Sand Attack from Espeon!" Duking said grandly, invoking cheers from the impressed crowd that hadn't also received some of the attack in their faces and food.

"Oh yeah? Try this for size!" shouted Hoks. "Barboach - use Surf!"

The tiny Pokémon summoned up a small trickle of water from the ground, water seeping from the ground. Adding some burst of water from its mouth as well, it then sent the liquid as a wave towards its opposing two Pokémon, waving its antennae threateningly.

"Umbre!" (That's… it?) asked Umbreon incredulously, as the small wave of water reached his and Espeon's ankles in height.

"Espeon…" Wes began.

"Espeon!" (Way ahead of you!) Espeon said, already sending the water right back at Barboach. The small Pokémon was carried high into the air by the water, before being submitted to an accurate Secret Power from Umbreon, the attack combining with the water and inflicting further pain to the small Pokémon. Umbreon follow up by charging at the Sandshrew, who had also been flung up by the water and Tackled it. The Eeveelution's opponents, like so many Pokémon fought before, succumbed to their attacks and fainted.

"And the victory goes to… Wes!" announced Duking, as the crowd cheered.

"Yay! Wes won! I told you he was good!" cried Rui.

"Yes, you did…" mumbled the person next to her, still rubbing his ears.

Soon enough, the first round of battles was over and the second round - the quarterfinals - commenced. Once again Wes was in the first battle of the round, and waited for his opponent to come onto the arena.

"Next up, we have… Tom!" shouted Duking. "A normal name for a change," he added to himself as he slipped the paper containing the draw into his pocket. After a moment, Duking looked around.

"Hey, Tom? You're up!" he called.

"I'm a coming!" a voice sounded from the entry point.

Is that who I think it is? thought Wes. His fears were confirmed as the person stumbled out of the tunnel.

"Yus…Yis…. Yes! Yes, I'm heard, I mean here!" shouted Tom. "Hey, I knows you! It's Superwoman…. Thing!" he remarked upon seeing Wes.

"Oh dear, it's you - and you seem intoxicated again…" muttered Wes.

"But… you were perfectly sober in the previous battle!" remarked Duking.

"Well, a lot cun happeny in a wek," defended Tom. "But didn't worry - I con still battle - yes, old Tommy-tom-tom boy… Tom can win!"

"Somehow I doubt that…" said Wes.

"Well, whatever," conceded Duking with a shrug. "Being drunk isn't breaking any rules here! Again, this shall be a two-on-two battle! Begin!"

"Ok, go, Croconaw and Makuhita!" Wes shouted, sending both Pokémon out respectively.

"Ohh, they look putty…" remarked Tom.

"They're… putty?" asked Wes, confused.

"Maku! Hita Hita!" (Where's the other Pokémon! I want to bash their heads in!) shouted Makuhita as he waved a fist about.

"Croc?" (Or do we attack that thing?) Croconaw asked Wes as he tilted his head and looked at Tom who was now inexplicitly doing a little dance.

"No. Leastways, not yet," answered Wes.

"Oi! Drunk guy! Get on with it!" shouted Duking.

"Whas? Oh, rightio!" said Tom who had now progressed to Morris dancing. "I'd bun sund out mi Pokeymans, right? Lets sees…." he mumbled, rummaging through his pockets.

"Whee...Why were them?" he muttered. "Oh dearilys, I think…"

"What?" asked Wes impatiently.

"I forgot my forgot something."

"What?"

"Oh, waity, it's in the mother rocket, no, clock, no, my pocket! That sit!" Tom announced, pulling out two Poké Balls from his other pocket. The crowd was already booing at the delays, and some of the audience pondering whether to throw their food at Tom or not.

"Go, Spinydah, and Spineti!" stuttered Tom as he sent out two Spinda - panda-like Pokémon with many red spots randomly placed on its head and body. The two Pokémon, identical if not for the spots, swayed uncontrollably upon being released.

"Espeon!" (They seem drunk too!) exclaimed Espeon, who was sitting on the side of the match, watching on.

"No, Spinda are often like that - they do some sort of swaying motion that can be used to confuse you. Don't get caught in the motion, Croconaw and Makuhita!" warned Wes. Espeon however sniffed the air cautiously.

"Espi…" (No, they really are drunk…)

"Umbre…" (I wonder what beer tastes like…) Umbreon wondered.

"Ok, my mini, min, midgetions!" slurred Tom. "Try Teetering Dance!"

The two Pokémon tried to obey, but ended up fall over upon one another as they stumbled. Almost instantly, sounds of snoring could be heard from the Pokémon.

"Er… I guess, Wes wins then," announced Duking, seeing that the Spinda were in no state to battle.

"Oh noes, I'm lost!" conceded Tom with a dazed look on his face.

"Don't you mean 'I lost'," asked Wes.

"No, reallys, I don't now where I be…" sniffed Tom. "But you're a wonner! Now I can't win all of the smazzules and the… thingy! Oh, it's ok, you're alllll riiiiggghhhttt…." started Tom, before falling unconscious.

"Maku!" (I wanted to battle!)

"Croconaw!" (Now can we hit him?) asked Croconaw as two men came and dragged Tom off the ground. Tom was still muttering in his sleep on the way out.

"Yes, I wiuld luke some orange sheeerrrbeeeet…" he garbled.

A few more battles of little consequence followed before the semi-final round. Wes ended up having a bye into the final, with his opponent found in the bathroom unconscious. Tom had ended up in an argument with him and got into a fight, strangely coming out as the winner.

"I shossed him! Nowsy he won't never mever call me a catfish again, if myn ame's nit… Kevin!" shouted Tom at the organisers of the tournament in protest as they dragged him away.

"Yay, Wes is in the final!" celebrated Rui upon hearing the news that Wes had a bye. "He's going to win, I know he is, and then we're going to save the world - oh, I shouldn't have said that - it's classified information," she finished.

"Ok then…" acknowledged the man, before he turned to his friends. "You want to switch places?" he whispered to them. They all responded by shaking their heads vigorously.

"So, do you like stuff?" interrupted Rui.

"Ok folks, the final battle awaits!" announced Duking. "Musicians, if you please?" he asked, and a band on the side started into a flowing piece of music.

"Umb, Eon!" (Oh, epic!) remarked Umbreon.

"The final battle is between Wes and Mirez! This will be a four-on-four battle, two Pokémon out at one time! Let the battle begin!" shouted Duking.

"Nothing's going to stop me!" shouted Wes's opponent. He was overly buff and had an unfitting stylish choice of clothes to match his girth.

"Go, Bagon and Goldeen!" Two Pokémon were sent out from the towering opponent. One was a Bagon, a small blue dragon Pokémon which waved its short arms and legs. The other in Goldeen instantly summoned a small pool of water from the ground so that it wouldn't be left flopping on dry land helplessly.

"Ok, go Makuhita and Croconaw - now you can have a good battle!" commanded Wes. "Hopefully, anyway..."

"Maku!" (Prepare to suffer!) Makuhita cried - Croconaw merely sized up his adversaries with his eyes and snorted with disdain.

"Ok, Makuhita, give Bagon a Shadow Rush!" commanded Wes. "Croconaw, Bite the Goldeen!"

"Bagon, stop it with Headbutt! Goldeen, Water Gun!" shouted Mirez. As Makuhita charged at the Bagon, it ran back with surprising speed with its head tilted towards the chubby fighting Pokémon. However it never noticed Makuhita change direction, and after it missed Makuhita sent it flying into the air with a powerful hit with his fist.

"Bagon!" (I can fly!) it shouted, before colliding head-first into the audience. As shouts of protest came from the crowd, Croconaw ducked to dodge the Water Gun attack from the Goldeen and lunged forward to Bite it viciously, before tossing it onto dry land. Makuhita then followed up with an Arm Thrust attack, striking the poor fish multiple times until it gave in and fainted. Meanwhile Bagon was subsequently sent flying from the throng of people after it had been whacked by multiple pieces of food and landed head-first in the dust, also fainting after the fall.

"What? You fainted them both so quickly?" gasped Mirez in amazement, his arrogant demeanour somewhat diminishing. "Now I'm angry! Go, Delibird and Magnemite - use Supersonic!" he shouted. He sent out a red and white penguin which strangely held its tail over its shoulder as if it was a sack, and a small levitating magnet-like Pokémon. Upon its appearance it rotated its magnets and emitted shrill, sharp sounds, causing both Croconaw and Makuhita to cover their ears and wince, along with the crowd.

"Ok, Delibird, use Present!" yelled Mirez, and on cue the Delibird grabbed a wrapped-up box from her sack-like tail.

"Delibird!" (Merry Christmas!) the penguin squawked, as it threw the present at Croconaw's feet.

"Croc…onaw?" (For me?) Croconaw asked, staring at the present. Then it exploded in his face. Croconaw clutched his head for a moment, before falling to the ground and fainting.

"Damn," commented Wes quietly as he returned the fainted Croconaw to his Poké Ball. "Still, it's three on two… Makuhita - take it easy out there," Wes instructed.

"MAKU!" (DIE!) shouted the Makuhita angrily, charging at the Delibird furiously. Before either trainer or Pokémon could react, Makuhita was hitting the bird in rage with an array of vicious punches.

"Oh, Makuhita's aura is red. Must be in Hyper-mode," Rui said to herself, getting a strange look from her neighbour.

"Maku! Hita Hita Makuhita!" (Dirty trick! Exploding presents must suffer!) Makuhita shouted, smashing the bird in the head before grabbing the presents out of the bird's tail and throwing them away right onto the Magnemite. The impact caused the multiple wrapped boxes to explode. Normally the magnet Pokémon would have been able to withstand the attack but the resulting flames engulfed it and so it beeped loudly before it too fell, losing its levitation abilities.

"Deli…" (My presents…) Delibird moaned before Makuhita resumed punching the bird before it fainted. This didn't stop Makuhita from continuing to thrash it until it had been recalled.

"Well, that ended with an explosion! Wes is the winner!" Duking announced, the crowd getting to their feet to applaud the victorious trainer.

"…Nice work, Makuhita," praised Wes.

"Maku!" (Presents go boom!) said the Pokémon proudly.

***

"Ok, here are your prizes for winning, Mr… Wesley," stated the receptionist. "You get a coupon for dance lessons at the newly opened dance school, a key ring promoting anti-drug messages, and this bag of money containing a total of $4949."

"Ok… thanks!" Wes responded, grabbing the money bag first. Odd amount of prize money… but, whatever!

"Wes, you won!" shouted Rui, coming through the door and hugging Wes tightly.

"Yes, I know…" Wes weakly said when Rui let go of her.

"Ahem," coughed a person, suddenly sliding up to Wes. He was dressed in black, and wore an odd helmet upon his head. "I take it that you were the winner of the Colosseum challenge?"

"Um, yes, I am," Wes answered slowly. He smiled slightly as he realised who this might be.

"Brilliant. My… boss is the kind of person who likes to reward strong battlers. Could you please follow me to obtain an extra special prize?"

"Certainly."

"Excellent. Follow me, please," ordered the thin man, and so Wes and Rui followed him out.

"Ok, let's prepare for anything," whispered Wes to Rui. "I have a feeling that things are going to get rough soon…"

***



I hope you enjoyed that, including Miror B once again, and the re-inclusion of 'drunk-guy', aka Tom. Please review, and adios!


Here be the spoiler for people and events in this chapter:
Spoiler:
 
Last edited:

Espreon

Lord of the Nagas
520
Posts
16
Years
  • Seen Mar 16, 2011
Great chapter, having Rui as a Pokemon trainer brought some originality into this.

"Curious George and the Electrical Fence" LOL!

Oh and BTW its Magnemite not Magnetmite.

Actually Croconaw evolves at level 36.
 

Sydian

fake your death.
33,379
Posts
16
Years
I didn't find too much wrong with this chapter. It was really funny, though! ^^ You're so original!

"'The Official Game Guide to Pokemon Colosseum'? That's odd, didn't think Pyrite could have any games, let alone game guides - hey, it looks like Espeon on the cover! And look that this one - 'Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence'…"

Loved that! xD

"I love Pokemon! I got my own yesterday and I'm so very happy! Anyway, are you cheering for anyone, any friends in the Colosseum challenge?"

I'll assume you forgot to hit the shift key. ;D

"Espi…" (No, they really are drunk…)

"Umbre…" (I wonder what beer tastes like…) Umbreon wondered.

Oh my gosh. xD I was rolling here. It's great to know my favorite Pokemon wants to know what beer tastes like. :3

Can't wait for the next chapter!! ;D
 

Shinobitrainer

Super Ninja Trainer
26
Posts
16
Years
Espeon and Umbreon are my favorites as well!

Anyway, bobandbill, I finally finished reading up to now and guess what? It's still awesome--although the mods seemed to have removed my story!
 

bobandbill

one more time
16,891
Posts
16
Years
Great chapter, having Rui as a Pokemon trainer brought some originality into this.

"Curious George and the Electrical Fence" LOL!

Oh and BTW its Magnemite not Magnetmite.

Actually Croconaw evolves at level 36.
Thanks. Rui being a trainer will be refered to in the next chapter as well. :) Hehehe...
I've had a problem with the t in Magnemite... fixed now. Must have missed some before.
I didn't find too much wrong with this chapter. It was really funny, though! ^^ You're so original!

Loved that! xD

I'll assume you forgot to hit the shift key. ;D

Oh my gosh. xD I was rolling here. It's great to know my favorite Pokemon wants to know what beer tastes like. :3

Can't wait for the next chapter!! ;D
The shift key in challenge? Hmm... I check to see if I did that eariler... cheers once again.
Espeon and Umbreon are my favorites as well!

Anyway, bobandbill, I finally finished reading up to now and guess what? It's still awesome--although the mods seemed to have removed my story!
Thanks. Many have liked Espeon and Umbreon. :)
As for your story... well, I actually think that it's because the forums here had a problem, and lost a week of data. I believe you posted yours then, so it got wiped, rather than deleated by the mods... it took out two of my chapters as well.
 

Minos Yewman

Banned
141
Posts
16
Years
  • Seen Apr 11, 2012
I'll say what everyone else has said as well as the fact that you set up (I think) for the Miror B. radar from XD.

Keep up the good work!
 

bobandbill

one more time
16,891
Posts
16
Years
I'll say what everyone else has said as well as the fact that you set up (I think) for the Miror B. radar from XD.

Keep up the good work!
Hello again. It is similar to the Miror B radar in XD, although not quite the same radar yet... but good pick there.

Last chapter that has been done here now. After that, the next chapter shall be... in the next two weeks... I shall be on holiday from tomorrow until a week after that... so probably won't be up and done then unless... well, we'll leave it at that.

Enjoy!



***

Chapter 9 - The Music-Man's Fortress


"Yes, you will get a fine prize indeed," the man muttered quietly as they crossed the bridge over the gorge. "Miror B, our boss, the town's true mover and shaker, wishes you to have a gorgeous gift."

Aha! So Miror B is in this! Wes thought to himself smugly.

"Wes, look," whispered Rui, as the man led them down some dark alleys. Leastways, darker than most streets in Pyrite, Wes mused. After some wondering around a maze of lanes, they came up to a large building with an enormous metal roller door the only visible sign of entrance. Above the door was a sign titled:


Dance House - Learn to Dance!
Free teddy bear for every membership purchased!


"Now I'm positive that we're on the right track," Wes muttered as he recalled Miror B's dance moves when they had encountered him. Miror B must be using this place as his cover.

"So, we stay here until Johnson or Sherles show up?" Rui asked quietly.

"Yep, that was the plan… but where the hell are they?" replied Wes, looking around for any sign of them. Meanwhile, the man knocked on the door.

"Open up!" he called.

"First say the password," said a voice from inside. It seemed to be feminine but it wasn't easy to tell due to the barrier between them. The guide for the two teenagers stared at the door for a moment.

"What password? There is no password!"

"There is now. I thought there should be one, so I made it up about five minutes ago."

The man sighed. "So how the hell would I know it then?" he growled.

"…Fair enough," conceded the voice. "It's 'open sesame'," it added. A long pause followed the statement.

"Well, are you going to let me in, or what?" he asked, tapping a foot.

"Are you going to say the password?"

"Oh, for crying out loud… OPEN SESAME!" shouted the man. At that, the door opened wide for him.

"Well, why didn't you say so?" queried the person. It had indeed been a woman, who was dressed in a remarkably similar style as the man.

Cipher must be a big team to have outfits like that, Wes thought, looking them over quickly. Team Snagem only gave you a crummy red jacket - which I never really wore - and a free haircut.

"What the hell was with that password nonsense, Sema?" the man demanded, tapping his head to indicate his opinion of the idea.

"Well, I thought it was a good idea, Nore…" began Sema. "We had an intruder come in not so long ago… some kid with silver hair."

"What, really?" His voice dropped noticeably.

"Yep - he was spouting some stuff about how we were jerks or something and that he wouldn't allow us to take control of this town. Anyway, Ferma and Reath have him taken care of."

Wes and Rui exchanged glances. Silva is here? That may change things… Wes considered.

"Well, that's good," answered Nore. "I've got the Colosseum Challenge winner here. Let's present him with another Shadow Pokémon, and watch chaos be unleashed upon this pitiful town!" With that, the man laughed melodramatically. Wes raised his eyebrows. Clearly these Cipher agents weren't above announcing their plans in front of bystanders. It seemed that they had forgotten all about him and Rui.

"Hang on…" began the woman, frowning at Wes. "That's… that's that Wes guy that Miror B has been harping on about!" she accused, pointing at Wes.

"It is?" asked Nore. He regarded Wes and scratched his hair.

"Um, surely there's some sort of mistake…" Wes said, raising his hands. Rui anxiously eyed the door.

"YES! And you were stupid enough to let him in here!" cried Sema, grabbing a piece of paper from a nearby desk with Wes's picture upon it. The words 'WANTED BY CIPHER' were printed underneath the image.

"Uh-oh," Wes managed, slowly moving his hands to his belt where his Poké Balls.

"EVERYONE! GET DOWN HERE! WE HAVE A SITUATION!" Sema screamed. At this, a wave of people stumbled down a nearby flight of stairs.

"We have an intruder here!" shouted the female. "He brought down Team Snagem! Take him down!" she ordered.

"What, you hired all these guards?" Wes asked, trying to delay the inevitable. Where the hell is Johnson? Or Sherles for that matter? "I thought this was a dance school!"

"So you'd think!" exclaimed the woman. "But these are no customers – despite Miror B's efforts, nobody here wants to learn how to dance! No, these are just a bunch of guards that we've employed so that this wouldn't happen. Until someone let him right in!" Sema added, glaring at Nore.

"Hey, it's not my fault!" retorted Nore. "I was just doing my job!"

"But… I'm here to learn how to dance…" one of the newcomers mumbled. "What's going on here?"

"Silence!" she ordered, assuming charge. "If you get him, you can get a free lifetime membership!"

"Okay!"

"I'm afraid to say, Wes, that you aren't going to get very far," she concluded confidently, turning back to Wes.

"I'm not too sure about that," replied Wes. "Go, Espeon and Umbreon!" he said, tossing two Poké Balls into the space in front of the crowd.

"Umbre!?" (Umm… why all the people?) Umbreon asked as he materialised and glanced about, recoiling slightly at the sight of all the people glaring at him.

"Never mind that," said Wes. "Espeon – wipe their –"

Just then, Wes's command was cut out by a shout and a person running straight into the room.

"There you are, Johnson! And about time too."

"Yes, I'm here to save the da-" cried Johnson, wrecking the moment as he tripped over one of his shoelaces. As luck would have had it in these sort of moments for the heroes, almost as if fate was attempting to create more drama out of the scene, the incoming Johnson clattered directly into Espeon.

"Esp-!" (What-) Espeon said, before Johnson's knee hit his head. Espeon slumped to the ground in pain, and gave a small surprised moan before passing out.

"Oh, sorry, Espeon…" Johnson said, staggering to his feet. A few guards stepped backwards slowly, unsure what to do about the sudden police presence; even if it was Johnson.

"For crying out loud, you knocked him out!" cried Wes, grabbing Espeon and pulling him away from Johnson. "That's just great."

"Sorry…" apologised Johnson.

"What took you so long? And where's Sherles?" Rui yelled.

"Sherles… I don't know where he is," began Johnson. Wes slapped his head in frustration as Johnson tried to explain himself. "I got held up – I had to tie up my shoelace," he insisted, pointing at his shoe. "Hang on, it's untied again!"

"…Hang on, why the heck is Johnson here? Wait… first you turn on Team Snagem, and then you join the police?" cried the woman. "Absolutely bloody fantastic. We're stopping you now – I've had it with all of these intruders! Guards, send out your Pokémon!"

They all obliged on that command, instantly making the otherwise large room appear cramped. A few dozen creatures faced Wes, who in turn sent out the remainder of his party. Wes gave a quick count – five against twenty-odd creatures of varying size and shape. This was looking like a very one-sided affair.

"Great, I love a challenge," Wes sarcastically announced. "Rui, try to get Espeon awake."

"Okay," answered Rui, as she knelt down next to Espeon and pulled out a Revive out of her bag.

"Oh, I'm having none of that!" cried the woman. "And that's our Shadow Pokémon you've got there as well!" she declared, recognizing the extra Pokémon Wes had sent out. Croconaw looked up at the woman and glared.

"Croc!" (And you're the annoying person who kept on whinging!) he remarked, seemingly recognising the woman.

"Makuhita!" (Prepare to die!)

"Ready guards? Att-"

Just then, a silhouette of a tall ungainly man appeared by the door. All looked at the newcomer as he sung in an overly loud and off-key voice.

"The wheelys on the busy… busier… bus goey mound and round…"

"…Tom?" Wes asked incredulously.

"Hey-hey, dis isn't my hiuse…" Tom stated, confused. Then he noticed the tension between all in the room, and noticed the full-scale Pokémon battle about to start. "Did I com at bad time?"

***

"So, Gonzap, finally decided to explain yourself?"

The image of a large man with the lack of any sort of facial hair scowled back at Nascour. The fool looked exhausted, and seemed to have set up camp somewhere far away from where Team's Snagem's base lied... or leastways, what was left remaining of Team Snagem's former base.

"I told you before – it's not my fault!"

"Oh really? I'm under the impression that your organisation - which you are in charge of - let one of your recruits single-handedly destroy your entire base. Not to mention that the vast majority of your group are either arrested or running for their lives, while both Snag machines are destroyed."

Gonzap growled. "Only one is destroyed – the other is simply in possession of that blasted boy."

"Which is as good as destroyed, if not worse!" shouted Nascour. The tension between the two men was incredible. It was lucky they were communicating over a televised relay, as otherwise more than just strong words would have been exchanged.

"Do you know that the boy has weakened our stranglehold on this miserable land, because of your team? Because of your mishaps, our plan is now being delayed! You're lucky that Cipher has decided to keep our ties with you, else you would no longer be functioning."

"I'm well aware about your losses, Nascour. Believe me; I didn't exactly plan to have my base blown up. We suffered far worse than you," Gonzap replied, subconsciously rubbing his head where his eyebrows used to be. "At least they're starting to grow back…" he muttered to himself.

"Did you at least manage to get the rest of the Pokémon out of there, or did they get lost too?" sneered Nascour.

"Of course! Mind you, maybe they would have been better off dead, considering where they're being sent. I've sent the last batch we got to Ein – including a Skarmory that I got. That's to be my Shadow Pokémon, understand?"

"Sure, whatever," Nascour answered dismissively. "Talk to Ein about that. At least you didn't let one teenager destroy everything. Just your base, and the Snag machines, and your reputation. Well, whatever reputation there was to begin with…"

"Now look here, you'd better pipe down," responded Gonzap, shaking a fist.

"And what position are you in to say such things? It's not me who's struggling, it's you. And you'd better hope that he doesn't come back to finish his job."

"If I were you, I'd be worried about him too," snapped Gonzap.

"Oh? How so? In all likeliness, that Wes fellow has no idea about the existence of Cipher, let alone where our hideouts are located. I think we don't have to fear much from him."

"So how come he had been interfering with your operations in Phenac?"

That hurt. Stunned, Nascour's confident attitude changed into one of shock, much like one a Wingull would give if it had been hit with an electric attack.

"But...well, how did you know about that?"

Gonzap chuckled. "Oh, I have my ways. I also know that you still have no idea on his whereabouts, and that he rescued that girl that you were after as well," Gonzap summarised, enjoying the look on Nascour's face. "The thing is, I wouldn't dismiss the kid - he may be as thin as a stick, but he thinks well on his feet, and it doesn't take much to push him into retaliation." Gonzap winced as he thought back to the lead-up of the moment that his base had been destroyed. He had misjudged Wes, and had suffered the worst consequences imaginable.

Well, sure, he could have died, but life without Team Snagem at its former glory, or his prized eyebrows, just wasn't the same.

"Right. I'll be sure to think of that the next time he blows up one of our hideouts," Nascour said dryly, trying his best to cover up his surprise at Gonzap's knowledge of Cipher's going-ons. "Bye."

With that, Nascour closed the transmission. He had enough of talking to Gonzap. Cipher had placed their trust in Team Snagem, and they had let all hell break loose within their base, allowing a mere teenager take them down in one fell swoop. And that same teenager had been messing up with Cipher's doings.

And it didn't sit well with him. Cipher's very beginnings had been similarly hampered by such an event, with a group used for support by Cipher being brought down from an equally, if not more unlikely, source. It had taken Cipher a good while to recover from such an incident. But what happened to Team Snagem wasn't going to affect Cipher this time, let alone occur to Cipher – such an outcome was too terrible - and probably too unlikely - to occur.

He'd make sure of that.

***

Meanwhile, in a certain building in Pyrite that belonged to Cipher, all hell was breaking loose.

Tom's arrival had surprised Cipher's guards, not to mention his drunken behaviour which resulted in him hiding behind a nearby chair.

"ARRGHH! INNA WORLD WAR FIVE!" he screamed, startling Cipher's agents with the shouting and the act of attempting to throw a table into the air. Wes, being somewhat more used to Tom's antics, recovered the quickest, earning himself a few valuable seconds to command his Pokémon team sans Espeon.

Makuhita started off the proceedings. He charged in fearlessly, and with a cry of 'Die!' punched the nearest opponent to him in the gut. The man doubled over in pain; surprised by the fact a Pokémon had attacked him.

"Good work, Makuhita," acknowledged Wes, not minding whether human or Pokémon were taken out for the time being – either way, both were against him. He could worry about the consequences later. "Rui, can you send out your Pokémon?" he asked, as Umbreon and Croconaw caught on and sprang forward into attack, exploiting the distraction that Tom had provided. Misdreavus gave a ghostly giggle and joined the battle, latching onto a Hoothoot's head. The unlucky bird Pokémon hooted in surprise and tried in vain to shake off the Ghost type's Bite attack.

"Sure, just a sec," Rui called, applying the Revive to Espeon. She reached down into her bag and pulled out a handful of Poké Balls.

"Go, get them!" she called, before pulling off one of the most uncoordinated Poké Ball releases ever performed. Five orbs flew wildly in the air in random directions. Wes instinctively ducked one that was centimetres from taking his head off.

"Fools! I'll annihilate you myself with my Tyranitarrgh!" screamed the woman as a Poké Ball hit her square in the nose. "Hey, watch where you're throwing that!" she cried, before she stopped short, noticing a form materialise from the Poké Ball that had just hit her.

Right above her head.

"Arrgh!" she managed, before a large overweight Quagsire found itself standing on top of a struggling and unfortunate person, with a furious battle occurring around it. Try as she might, Sema could not budge the fat blue Pokémon off of her, nor reach for her Poké Balls.

"Quag…sire" (Dah, you smell like peanuts,) Quagsire stated, leaning forward to examine the peon's face. One look at Quagsire's beady eyes and blank face, added to having it sit on top of her was simply too much for Sema, and she promptly passed out.

"Err… just stay there Quagsire," Rui advised, peering at the woman's downfall before turning back to Espeon. "Sorry about that!" she called to Sema.

"Quag!" (Okay!) Quagsire responded, before deciding to take a little nap where it was, paying no attention to the battle around it.

Meanwhile, Johnson had decided to join the fray himself. As Croconaw barged an unfortunate guard out of the way, Johnson strode up to him and two Pokémon that had moved in to check if he was okay after the attack.

"I'll beat you!" he cried confidently. The man looked up and smiled.

"Right. You think you, Johnson, can beat me? Attack, Magnemite and Remoraid!" he commanded, as a small Magnemite beeped in response, and a thin blue fish, nestling in a small puddle it had summoned up, glared at the foolhardy policeman.

"Oh yeah? Go, Magikarp!" replied Johnson. A fat flimsy-looking fish came out of Johnson's Poké Ball and flopped on the ground. The orange Pokémon appeared to be a sad excuse for any sort of Pokémon battle.

"Whe… it Karpador!" exclaimed Tom, still somewhat confused by the whole situation. He has somewhat recovered from his initial fear that the end of the world was nigh, but had decided to stay behind the safety of the chair. That didn't last long however as a Pineco that had been thrown to the side by Makuhita flew right into the chair and reduced it to pieces.

"Oh no! It's a…. thingy!" cried Tom before vigorously kicking the poor helpless Pokémon back in the opposite direction into someone's head. "Why fighting dis on fis go?" he wailed nonsensically in fear.

"Erm, Johnson?" Wes began, noticing Johnson's somewhat bold move of using a Magikarp in battle. "Eh, whatever. Try to hold him off for a few seconds at least…" he continued, seeing Johnson's determined face to do something right. Wes turned back to his Pokémon and rallied them.

"Okay, that's ridiculous - a Magikarp? Remoraid, use Water Gun!" shouted the guard, as the small Pokémon shot out a ball of water straight at Magikarp.

"Magikarp, use Splash!" commanded Johnson. Magikarp flopped even harder than before as the heavy ball of water approached. Within a split-second of impact, Magikarp randomly jumped up high into the air, surprisingly evading the attack.

"What? Oh, you just got lucky. Remoraid, again!"

Once more a Water Gun attack was fired, and again Magikarp completely avoided it.

"Now that's not possible… Fine then, Magnemite, use Supersonic!"

The Magnemite emitted a sharp array of sounds and focused the waves of reverberations right at the Magikarp. Whether they had any effect or not was unclear, as the Magikarp seemed oblivious to the attack and continued to flop on the ground.

"Okay… oh, whatever. Use Thundershock!"

"Magnet!" (Destroy, Destroy!) beeped the small Pokémon, unleashing an impressive orb of electricity at Magikarp. It zipped right at the fat fish Pokémon, but once again Magikarp evaded the attack with another sudden show of Splash.

"What the… Thundershock again!"

"Now, Magikarp, use Tackle on Remoraid!" Johnson shouted.

It was unclear whether Magikarp actually used Tackle and had charged at the Remoraid, or that it simply had randomly flopped forward at a surprisingly fast speed at the right time to knock Remoraid into the path of the Thundershock attack. The opposing trainer didn't take to this outcome too kindly, letting loose half a dozen profanities that were appropriate for one who was getting beaten by a Magikarp.

Meanwhile, Umbreon faced down three of one of the guard's Pokémon at once - a small olive-coloured Larvitar and two water types in a Carvanha and Barboach.

"Carvanha!" (I'm going to eat you!) announced the red-and-blue fish, baring its teeth.

"Larvitar!" (I'm going to poke you!) the Larvitar shouted. He stomped his feet in a show of confidence with the three-on-one advantage, despite Umbreon's size compared to the trio.

"Barboach!" (I'm going to…shake my tail at you!) said the Barboach, earning a glance from the other two Pokémon.

"Umbreon!" (We'll see about that!) retorted Umbreon. "Umb!" (Take this!) he cried, before firing a Secret Power attack at Carvanha. Still distracted by Barboach's comment, it gave a cry of surprise as the sparks sent from Umbreon's glowing rings made contact. Electrical pulses spread across the fish's body, and as it shook them off, it got hit by Umbreon's charging Tackle and slapped straight into a wall. The impact knocked it out.

"Umb!" (One down!)

"No way! Larvitar, Bite! Barboach, distract Umbreon with Water Gun!" commanded the Pokémon's trainer. Larvitar snarled and charged at Umbreon, as Barboach charged up a Water Gun attack.

"Umbreon!" (Oh, too easy! Maybe you'd want to not announce your tactics to me,) drawled Umbreon. He then responded by running to the side, forcing the stubborn Larvitar to change routes but unwittingly move into the line of attack.

"Bar Barboach!" (Hey, get out of the way! I'm charging my Water Gun here!) shouted Barboach.

"Lar?" (I am?) asked Larvitar, glancing back to see that Barboach was right. When he turned back to Umbreon however, he was gone.

"Lar…" (Where is he?)

"Umbreon!" (Right behind you!) answered Umbreon, before striking the Pokémon headfirst. He followed up with a crunching Bite attack to the Pokémon's lower body, leaving Larvitar down for the count.

"Umb!" (Two down!) announced Umbreon, before jumping to the side to avoid the rushed Water Gun attack from Barboach. "Umbreon!" (You're mine!) he shouted, suddenly charging at the trembling Barboach.

"Makuuu!" (Dieee!) shouted Makuhita from nearby. From nowhere, Makuhita sprinted at Barboach first and punched it, knocking it out in one hit.

"Umb!" (Hey, that was my one!) cried Umbreon in protest as the Pokémon's trainer sadly returned his Pokémon to their Poké Balls, defeated. Then he cried in pain as Makuhita punched him in the shin.

"Maku! Hita Hita!" (You were too slow! Now, OUT OF MY WAY! MUST KILL!) shouted Makuhita, charging at another Pokémon.

"Umbreon…" (Well, I'd give him an 'A' for enthusiasm, that's for sure,) murmured Umbreon, before joining the fray once again. The battle continued, and although Wes's Pokémon were outnumbered, they were steadily wearing down their opposition, while desperately trying to avoid taking any more major hits.

"Good work, Croconaw!" cried Wes, watching as an unfortunate Taillow succumbed to a tremendous Shadow Rush attack, the small swallow squawking in pain as it fell.

"Croc?" (Really? Wow…) replied Croconaw, surprised at the compliment he just received.

"Yep - that was great. Keep it up!" encouraged Wes. Croconaw stared at Wes's unexpected praise, ignoring the battle around him for the moment. Bluno hadn't said such things to him - instead, he talked about interest rates and lawyers. Bluno always got easily distracted… Suddenly Croconaw's mind was made up. Wes wasn't so bad. But the other Pokémon... they were far more irritating right now.

"Croconaw!" (This is for making Wes angry!) cried Croconaw.

Suddenly, the ground started shaking as a rush of water erupted from deep below the ground. Wes glimpsed a large hole in the floor appearing before his view of it was obstructed by water flowing freely from it, spreading across the floor and merging into a massive wave. Wes's Pokémon either noticed the looming danger or were alerted to it by Wes, and quickly scampered to the other side of the room, as the wave built up size and speed from behind Croconaw. Luckily, Makuhita was busy tormenting a Cacnea behind the wave, for otherwise he probably wouldn't have noticed the impeding danger. A few other Cipher agents and their Pokémon were also safely out of the way, including Johnson's rival, but the majority were in the wrong place in the wrong time, and were too tired to move out of the way.

"Croc…o….naw!" (Water!) Croconaw shouted, before the wave caught up to him and swelled in size. Croconaw comfortably rode it, before letting the wall of liquid fall straight on top of Cipher's goons.

"Umbreon!" (Now that's a Surf attack!) commented Umbreon, watching the swirling mass of fluid drench all within range of the attack. Most of the remaining Pokémon that hadn't fainted from the battle lost consciousness right then and there.

"Oh no! It's a…. a… watery mortery… wet!" cried Tom as he too got caught by the water. "Splish splash sploshy!" he cried. Just then, the door opened once again.

"I have a delivery of extra-glazed raspberry-flavoured jam doughnuts here… oh c-" began another newcomer. The delivery man was cut short as the mass of water escaped through the opening right into him.

"Fantastic!" cried Wes. "That was… brilliant!" The battle field had been practically cleared up now, with all of the guard's Pokémon defeated. Croconaw beamed with pride at his new attack, although something told him that he knew it beforehand.

"You can stop punching things now, Makuhita," Wes said, as his weary Pokémon regarded a still enthusiastic Makuhita.

"Maku…" (Do I have to?) Makuhita asked, as he slowly ceased punching a defenceless door.

"How… dare you!" cried Nore who struggled to his feet coughing out water, interrupting Wes's thoughts. "You may have won the battle, but… well…" trailed off Nore, realising that there wasn't much of a way to put a positive spin on things. "Well, damn you! I'll go to my last resort - go, Yanma!"

Nore managed to send out a Pokémon, spitting out water as he did so. It resembled a giant overgrown dragonfly, with massive bug-out eyes. It darted quickly from side to side very rapidly - it was astonishing that a thing that size could move so quickly.

"Yanyanayanma!" (I-must-win-I-must-win-win-win-win-win-win!) it jabbered.

"Umbre?" (What did you say?) asked Umbreon, unable to catch on to what Yanma just said.

"Maku!" (I'll destroy you!) cried Makuhita, charging at it before realising that it was gone. "Maku!" (Where'd you go?)

"Yanma!" (I-go-fast-so-I-can-win-win-win!) buzzed the Yanma, as it zipped around the room bumping into Wes's tired Pokémon one at a time.

"Umb!" (Ow!)

"Croc!" (Ah!)

"Maku!" (Ouch! Stupid buzzy thing!)

It's so quick… thought Wes. It'll be hard for my Pokémon to hit it…

"Wes!" called Rui suddenly. "It's a Shadow Pokémon - I can see its aura flying around!"

"It is? Well, that makes things even harder…"

"Oh, you won't be snagging that Pokémon for a long while," laughed Nore. "See, I had given it some coffee beforehand. It's so hyper, you'll never catch it!"

"Yanma!" (Coffee-coffee-coffee-coffee-coffee!) confirmed Yanma, flying even faster than before. It literally looked like a blur moving from one end of the room to the other, striking Wes's Pokémon with each new cry of 'coffee!'.

"Get them Yanma!" called Nore. "Wait… don't stay in one place… what?" Nore wringed his hands and squinted heavily, trying to make out why Yanma seemed to be stuck in a small confined space, bouncing off an invisible wall.

"Yan? Yananyanyanyan!" (Oh-no-it's-like-a-force-field-I-hate-force-fields-maybe-now-ow-maybe-now-ow-maybe-now-or-now-or-now!) Yanma jabbered, bouncing off in every direction.

"What the… that's odd," commented Wes. "Who did that?"

"Espi!" (I'm feeling better now! No thanks to Johnson though…) exclaimed Espeon, getting to his feet.

"It took him a while to come to, but he's been okay for a while now," Rui said. "Johnson must have hit him rather hard on the head with his knee there."

"Esp…Espeon!" (Too right… it was like a super-effective hit!)

"Oh, you're better now! Well, good work on trapping that Yanma," complimented Wes, watching Yanma bounce off the Reflect attack over and over again. Within half a minute it slumped to the ground, exhausted.

"Yan…" (Coffee…) it moaned in pain.

"Esp! Espeon!" (Well, what are you waiting for? Snag it!) urged Espeon, as he tiredly removed the field, still feeling a faint reminder of Johnson's knee.

"Okay then," Wes said, inserting a Poké Ball into the Snag machine.

"No!" cried Nore, but it was too late – a straightforward throw and three shakes of the Poké Ball later and the Yanma was in Wes's possession.

"Yes!" Rui yelled. "We've done it!"

"Not if I can help it!" shouted Nore, diving to grab the Poké Ball. Just before he grabbed it however, it moved out of his reach, hit him firmly on the head, and travelled straight into Wes's grasp.

"Esp!" (I'm definitely feeling better now!) announced Espeon.

"Now that is cool…" muttered Wes, impressed with the trick. Nore however wasn't, as he clutched his head and moaned.

"Hang on," interrupted Rui, "is Johnson still battling?"

Wes looked into one deserted corner of the room - Johnson indeed was still battling the same trainer he had been before.

"Why won't you just die!?" shouted the guard in frustration. "I've had enough of this! Magnemite - Spark! Remoraid… just try to hit it!"

Both Pokémon, looking rather battered, charged at Magikarp with their respective attacks.

"Now, Magikarp - jump up and use Flail!"

Impossibly, Magikarp again jumped at the right time to evade both Magnemite's and Remoraid's simultaneous attacks as they collided with each other.

"Magnet! (I am error!) beeped Magnemite as Remoraid's tail struck it.

"Rem!" (Pain!) cried Remoraid as the electrical pulses on Magnemite's body transferred to Remoraid.

As Magikarp returned back to the ground and landed on top of the two Pokémon, it flailed its entire body vigorously, slapping both Remoraid and Magnemite multiple times with its tail. Whether it was the pain, or the sheer humiliation of being bested by a Magikarp that did it remained a mystery as both Remoraid and Magnemite succumbed and fainted.

"Johnson… did you just…" began Wes, his mouth gaping at the remarkable victory.

"I told you that I'd save the day," boasted Johnson. "Good job, Magikarp!"

"Magikarp!" (Flopping is fun!)

"Oh, that's beyond ridiculous!" cried Nore. "You're telling me that we got defeated by a Magikarp? And JOHNSON'S Magikarp to boot? I'm outta here!" he exclaimed, making a run for the door. Unfortunately for Nore, he found the door blocked and ran straight into a person. Before he knew what had happened, he found himself firmly handcuffed.

"Err… well, hello there, Sherles," Nore began uneasily.

"About time, Sherles," greeted Wes. "What took you so long?"

"Well, Duking and I had lost sight of you two for a moment, but Johnson spotted you. The trouble was that he ran after you so quickly that we lost sight of him too. He didn't even tell us where you went! We had no idea where you where," confessed Sherles, with an occasional glance to a blushing Johnson.

"How did you find us then?" Rui asked, quietly rummaging through her bag to pick out a few items, and gradually healed Wes's Pokémon one by one.

"Oh, just a hunch," Sherles said, glancing through the door. Wes followed his gaze and saw where Sherles had gotten his 'hunch' from. A bunch of Cipher guards and Pokémon had been spewed outside by the Surf attack, which had created a mini-lake just by the door. Duking was outside, dragging the Cipher guards to their feet and none too kindly handcuffed them all himself.

"Oh dear…" whispered Rui, realising at some were more than a bit ruffed up.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about them," Duking said. "After they kidnapped Plusle, they deserve everything they get, the dirty foul smelling…"

"Yes, yes, that's enough," hurried Sherles. "Get them safely into the cells. We can question them later. Me, Johnson, Wes and Rui will move on, and try to clear out the whole bunch."

"Okay then," Duking gruffly responded. "Just make sure that Plusle… doesn't get badly hurt or anything."

"We'll try our best," answered Wes.

"Appreciate it, Wes. Hope to see you soon," said Duking, as he frog-marched the bewildered and battered Cipher guards.

"So… what did happen here?" Sherles asked. "Decided to renovate Cipher's place as well as Team Snagem's?"

"You could say that…" Wes shrewdly smiled.

"Ah! It's you, Sherlock!" cried Tom suddenly, appearing from behind a staircase. He ran up and hugged Sherles in relief that the Sheriff of Pyrite had arrived.

"Err… hello there," Sherles responded, somewhat surprised.

"Oh, it wis horribles! There wus a lotto persons, and a lot of Pokeypeople as well, and their was flighting and hen her was a giant pineapple as well! Lots of… thingys happened! And then wet stuff mappeared! It made me very berry wet," sobbed Tom.

"Yes, that's very nice," interrupted Sherles "but what are you doing here?"

"He just… randomly walked in," answered Wes.

"Wait - he just walked into Cipher's hideout - just like that?"

"Oh, Sherley, it was the wurst tim of me life! I swear, I'll never mever hever kever sleaver mrinky drink again! Ever! I swore it on all of teh smazzules in da world!"

"Espeon!" (Oh, I wouldn't make a promise I can't keep…) Espeon muttered. "Espeon!" (Hey, did you hear that?) Espeon added suddenly.

"Umbreon!" (Yes, we heard your ever-so-intelligent comment,) Umbreon answered.

"Espi…" (No, not that… listen closely!) Espeon urged. The room fell silent, with the exception of Tom who kept moaning about his terrible time that he had just experienced. Wes frowned - a faint cry of 'Help!' could be heard several floors above.

"Hey," began Sherles, "that sounds like… Silva?"

"Oh no - he must be in trouble!" cried Rui, as she sprinted off and up the staircase.

"…Guess we'd better follow her," shrugged Wes, doing just so after giving his Pokémon one last check-up. Sherles followed, with Tom right behind him, seeking safety behind the gruff sheriff. Tom stopped for a moment however when he approached the stairs, grabbing a bottle of alcohol from his pocket and grinned at it happily.

"I'm coming too!" called Johnson, before scooping down to pick something up. "What's this... a CD? An Ein File? Eh, whatever," he mumbled as he wiped off the water from it and stuffed it in a pocket before continuing up the stairs.

***



I hope you enjoyed that. I've put a fair bit of time into thinking out this chapter, and planning the events. And yes, Tom reappeared again.
smile.gif


Now for the spoilers about how this relates to what occurs in the game:
Spoiler:
 
Last edited:

Minos Yewman

Banned
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  • Seen Apr 11, 2012
One grammatical problem--but it may be the Aussie English thing--


In America, we spell it "summarized".

That's actually an American English thing. American English spells it with a 'z', while it is spelt with an 's' in normal English. There are several other words like this.

About the chapter: I love how Johnson beats them with just a Magikarp. On the downside: Two weeks!!!! I can't wait that long!
 
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So, guess who finally got around to review? I had a few brief minutes to read a chapter, and so this review will only cover the first chapter. Sorry. At some point (perhaps in the summer), I can get caught up faster.

First of all, let me just say that I like the fact that you're exploring more of Colosseum with a humorous twist. Colosseum had a good storyline, but as you noticed, there certainly were some plot holes!

Now for a few things that I noticed.

The Skarmory: You say that the Skarmory is male, and then whenever he's mentioned, the pronoun you use is either "it" or "he". If he has a gender, then use the correct pronouns all the time for him. Like here:

Startled, he flew around several times screeching about the indignantly of being so greatly disturbed before it could eat its meal.
Those "its" should be "hes", since it seems as if you want to give Skarm a gender.

And I spotted just two small mistakes:
Serves them right thought Wes.
Forgot the comma after "right".

a couple of Max Revives here, some full heals there
Since you had capitalized "Max Revives", I would figure that you would do the same for "Full Heals", since that is the name for a particular medicine.

The best part about this chapter? Gonzap and his burnt mustache and eyebrows! I can just picture him using that as the main excuse for chasing after Wes for revenge!
 

Elite Overlord LeSabre™

On that 'Non stop road'
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Because you're officially at the same place with your fic on both Sppf and here, I took all my reviews from the green place, took out the grammar parts (because I figured you had corrected them), smushed them together, and came up with this extra-long review below. Because I'm lazy xD

Prologue:
all the trouble started when that good-for-nothing stupid man with funny pointy hair coming out from around his nose and eyes showed up
Best. Gonzap. Description. Evar.

Chapter 2:
Meanwhile Rui ever so causally stuck out her foot, resulting in Lady Gwin having a squashed nose.
The snob deserved that XD

Chapter 3
The 'IT' in question gave a dazzling smile.

"Hello madam! Is this the mayor's house?" 'IT' asked.

Unfortunately, it received no answer - the old lady had fainted in shock.
ZOMG Miror B. used Faint Attack!

Maybe it was strange that a man with a giant Pokeball-themed afro and a snazzy bright yellow outfit with matching shoes was threatening them, but it worked to perfection.
Meh, I wouldn't say "threatening" as much as I would say "weirding them out." I'd be worried what kind of bizarre punishment someone like him would dish out...

Chapter 4:
Not that he cared - Trudly had been too dumb to know his left hand from his right. Stupid Trudly.
Boy, ain't that the truth. Unfortunately he seems like an honor student when compared to Johnson...

Chapter 6:
Half an hour of explaining later…

"So, they're good guys. Or are they bad?

"NO! I told you for the 12th time!" cried Sherles. Wes and Rui were watching the whole time, seeing how far Johnson's thinking capabilities stretched. It wasn't very far.

"So they are bad?"

Sherles slapped his own head in exasperation.
"Oh, no need to bother, boss. Me and my trusty Magikarp will save the day!" announced Johnson confidently. Needless to say, neither Sherles nor Wes bothered to point out that a Pokemon that only knows Splash would probably not be able to stand up to two criminal syndicates.
...See what I mean? XD Too bad Sherles can't find someone of decent intelligence to replace him...

but Miror B was too absorbed in dancing to a salsa beat that played itself over and over again, yet never seemed boring
Does the Miror B. theme ever get boring? I think not.
"Fwhohoho - this is perking up my spirit baby! Oh, I almost fell like… dancing! It's afro-tastic!" cried Miror B, before pulling of a dance move, making Reath, Ferma and Nascour cringe. Worse yet, he even began to hum the tune of 'You should be dancing' by the Bee gees' - many a person who heard a rendition of that song by Miror B ended up having the tune stuck in their head for days.
Afro-tastic FTW! I bet the guy's a huge hit at disco karaoke parties too!

Chapter 7:
"When I grow up, I want to be a Plusle," continued the child.
I think the kid needs to aspire to something greater- like maybe replacing Johnson when he gets older?

most chose the 'Happy Friendly Money Lenders' as the source."
Oh, there's a name I can trust *dripping sarcasm*

a young kid on roller blades continuously singing about how battles gave him a lot of joy and calling Wes a 'little boy'.
That kid ticked me off too. Especially since Wes is clearly bigger than him.

"Someone's in trouble!" cried Johnson. "I'LL SAVE YOOOUUU!" he shouted, running out of the room and straight into a wall, forgetting that he couldn't see anything. "Oww!"
Ah, good 'ol Johnson. He never ceases to amuse with his unmatched stupidity.

Heck yeah, this is enjoyable! Not only brings back some nice memories of my days playing Colo (before my brother went and forgot his Gamecube somewhere), but it's as funny as heck. And with Johnson, you have done what I thought was impossible- create a character even stupider than Ash Ketchum!

Yeah, descriptions are a bit lacking in parts, but, really, this fic's not about that, it's about taking a fresh, unique look at an existing game and exploiting its plotholes in humorous fashion. And in that regard, it does a very good job at that. For some reason I really look forward to your portrayal of Ein, with him being my favorite admin (of both Colo and XD). Miror B. comes in second, BTW.

Chapter 8:
"Hey! Little help here, people?" a muffled voice sounded from the fridge.
Wait, Johnson actually has the brains to want to get out instead of mistaking it for Santa's workshop or something?

"There are two things that I hate - people who are constantly late, and people who have giant afros and strange obsessions with Ludicolos, dancing and music that just loops!"
Hey, the afro is awesome. So's the music. And the dancing. As for the Ludicolo obsession - well, I'll give her that.

"Why, what's wrong with the tune, don't you know that I need to, listen to my music, even if you hate it!" retorted Miror B.

"Well, for starters, you just said that sentence to the song's tune!" pointed out Reath.
Catchiest. Villain. Theme. Evar.

No amount of music or help from his Ludicolos helped in the slightest. Some Shadow Pokemon - the other Administrators got way better Pokemon than him.
Well, it is true that his Shadow Pokemon sucks compared to the others (and it mostly sucks in general, to be honest.) However:
Spoiler: For the non-Colosseum players out there


"Shrew!" (I hate sand!) protested the small Pokemon as the particles started merging into bigger clumps just before they collided with the unfortunate shrew Pokemon.
I find it quite ironic that a SANDshrew would say that it hates sand XD

"Next up, we have… Tom!" shouted Duking. "A normal name for a change," he added to himself.
ZOMG Not a normal name in a Colosseum game! :O

"Espi…" (No, they really are drunk…)

"Umbre…" (I wonder what beer tastes like…) Umbreon wondered.
Remember kids, alcohol abuse is bad. It makes you lose battles and look like a n00b while losing.

"Maku! Hita Hita Makuhita!" (Dirty trick! Exploding presents must suffer!)
LOL the stupid bird got what was coming to it.:)

Yeah, everybody loves Miror B and Tom the random drunk dude (well, except maybe that guy Vilch who got beaten up LOL). Another awesome chapter. I probably could've quoted all of Tom's drunken ramblings as LOL highlights, but I figured I quoted enough as it is. I also liked having the Colosseum game guide on sale at the store- wonder what would've happened if Wes DID buy it (OMGMAJORSPOILER)

Don't know what else to say, except great work and I actually blasted the Miror B salsa theme from my computer's speakers. Oh, and I almost fell out of my seat when Tom made his not so grand entrance.

Chapter 9:
Well, I was hoping that we wouldn't have to see every single hideout battle, so thanks for the big ambush. Plus, with Cipher's oh-so-convenient healing machine right there, it makes no sense to wait for Wes, as he would then just be able to refresh his team before every battle.

And everyone's favorite town drunk once again stumbles his way into a fine mess of a situation.
Then he noticed the tension between all in the room, and noticed the full-scale Pokemon battle about to start. "Did I come at a bad time?"
Drunk as he is, at least Tom realizes that something bad IS about to go down...

subconsciously rubbing his head where his eyebrows used to be. "At least they're starting to grow back…" he muttered to himself.
See, Gonzap, always look on the bright side xD

"Oh, you won't be snagging that Pokemon for a long while," laughed Nore. "See, I had given it some coffee beforehand. It's so hyper, you'll never catch it!"
Coffee+Pokemon=Hilarity+Trouble. Nore's probably got the thing addicted to coffee now, so I can see Wes either putting up with Yanma's coffee withdrawal, or having to give it the caffeine and putting up with the ensuing hyperness. Nice going, Nore.

At least it explains Speed Boost, lol.

"Oh, that's beyond ridiculous!" cried Nore. "You're telling me that we got defeated by a Magikarp? And JOHNSON'S Magikarp to boot?
Methinks we have a new winner for "Most Pathetic Way to Lose a Pokemon Battle." Even worse than having Tom beat you up in the restroom beforehand.

"Oh, Sherley, it was the wurst tim of me life! I swear, I'll never mever hever kever sleaver mrinky drink again! Ever! I swore it on all of teh smazzules in da world!"

"Espeon!" (Oh, I wouldn't make a promise I can't keep…)
Have to agree with Espeon here. besides, if Tom didn't have his Jack Daniels/Captain Morgan's/whatever the heck he drinks, well... he just wouldn't be the same Tom we all know and love.

I repeat, TOM CANNOT GO SOBER! EVAR!

The battle did go by a bit quickly, and with any other fic I would have a problem with a single Surf pwning almost everyone. But in this case, I don't mind, especially since it means Miror B. will appear that much faster.

One thing I would like an explanation for is how Remoraid/Carvahna/etc can hover in midair. It's always struck me as weird in ALL the N64/GCN games (and PBR as well).

And yay on the Gonzap/Nascour conversation. It nicely shows that already Wes is causing tensions between Cipher and Snagem (and this would eventually bite Cipher in the butt in XD ).

Don't really know whether the highlight for this chapter was Tom's drunken ranting or Johnson pwning with Magikarp. Either way, I enjoyed the frantic free-for all and Miror B.'s next appearance now excites me.
 

Espreon

Lord of the Nagas
520
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  • Seen Mar 16, 2011
Chapter nine was grand. I think the teddy bear offer was hilarious. The battles against the guards were also hilarious.
 

Shinobitrainer

Super Ninja Trainer
26
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Again, keep the greatness coming. And btw:

One thing I would like an explanation for is how Remoraid/Carvahna/etc can hover in midair. It's always struck me as weird in ALL the N64/GCN games (and PBR as well).

He makes a good point. I too would like to see that.
 

bobandbill

one more time
16,891
Posts
16
Years
Now back from my crazy week-long holiday... and now some time to get back to work. Firstly, some responses to reviews for now (as you've all been waiting):
Spoiler:
 
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