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Twerking Punishment for 7th-grader: Public Shaming

annwal

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There used to be such a thing as public shaming, a type of legal punishment where individuals would be embarrassed in public for their mistakes. It's been getting some traction, as petty thieves and other criminals have been getting shamed for minor wrongdoings.
 

Rezilia

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Rezilia said:
I fully believe that children age 5 and over are fully capable of coming up with their own conclusions and sense of ethics. This is due to a study that shows children are first able to ACTUALLY QUESTION the universe around them starting around the age of 4. Parents exist to nurture a child AKA take care of them until their bodies and brains have gotten to the point where they can function on their own - even better if the children have attained a level of expertise in something by that time.

The Ten Commandments - I'm not religious but they have some wisdom in them - say that you should respect your father and your mother. My mother did the best she could but she never respected ME. My father is a constant criminal. You are an individual. If you respect someone and they respect you, that's great! But if they don't respect you, why should you respect them? This is esp. the case if you have TRIED to respect them only for them to never return that respect.

I appreciate everything my mother did for me. I don't hate her. But when I have a child, I'll nurture them yet let them decide for themselves what is right and wrong, truth and lie. I don't think parents should be slaves to their children - still, children should not be slaves to their parents. We're all EQUAL, no matter our age, and we should ALL treat each other as such.
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^ Just going to post that here...

The parent is appalled, not because she thinks twerking is wrong, but because her spawn - which she thinks is a part of herself - did something she doesn't like, personally.

In other words, it has nothing to do with the ethical nature of twerking, or how it made the child look. The parent took it personally, feeling that it made her (the parent) look bad. When it DIDN'T - she just had that in her head and outright made her child pay for the parent's own insecurities.

--

The child should have been allowed to do what she wanted and not been punished - since she didn't actually do anything "wrong".
 
Eevee3

Eevee3

╰( ´・ω・)つ━☆ﾟ.* ･｡ﾟ
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I think that the girl being 11 made this punishment happen. She's far too young to be behaving like that but I think that this punishment isn't appropriate either. It's like those jokes that are funny to say but when you actually go out and do it, it's not as funny.

I think a punishment was needed but not this way. It's easy to punish a child nowadays. Take away a phone or a laptop or something. Children nowadays are glued to the stuff. It would be a much better punishment than this.
 

Rezilia

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Shimmer Mint said:
I think that the girl being 11 made this punishment happen. She's far too young to be behaving like that
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According to YOU. Not to the girl, who herself felt it was appropriate for her age. Thus, it was her decision. This wasn't an issue of peer pressure. Her mother told her to NOT do it. This means she came to her own decision, using her own reasoning. She felt it was appropriate for her age, so she did it. Period. She shouldn't be punished just because other people can't handle looking at twerking without blowing a fuse.
 

Silais

That useless reptile
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Rezilia said:
According to YOU. Not to the girl, who herself felt it was appropriate for her age. Thus, it was her decision. This wasn't an issue of peer pressure. Her mother told her to NOT do it. This means she came to her own decision, using her own reasoning. She felt it was appropriate for her age, so she did it. Period. She shouldn't be punished just because other people can't handle looking at twerking without blowing a fuse.
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I think you have forgotten that human beings are not cognitively mature until they are around 25 years old. She may have made her own decision, but it was not a mature decision and she should not be given the freedom to act in a sexualized way at such a young age. Twerking is inappropriate for children because it construes a sexual innuendo, and we know what happens to those who find children sexually attractive and appealing. The mother, in my opinion, did the right thing by punishing her for engaging in an act that might sexualize her to others, especially adults. We need to teach our children that our bodies are not objects that we should use to exploit ourselves and others.

As I said above, she is not NEARLY mature enough to make decisions that construe sexual themes or innuendos. There is a reason her mother "blew a fuse" so to speak; she does not want her daughter to be overly sexual at her age, and she does not want others to see her daughter as a sexual object at such a young age.

The reasoning standard only goes so far. We cannot give the freedom of all choice to young children and teenagers and expect good, solid results to come from it. Sometimes we need to regulate how our offspring act so as to remind them what being a decent human being means.
 

AzuGazer

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I think this is the best punishment for this action. Humility is the best punishment because it usually ensures they won't do it again.

This parent is smart. That child best be learning though.
 

Kanzler

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Just because they're spelled the same doesn't mean they have similar connotations. Humiliation is taking away of someone's pride. We would put humiliation among things like degrading a person or disrespecting their dignity. Humility on the other hand is modesty, not showing off, not trying to act like you're better than other people - the important thing here is how you act with respect to other people.

I can humiliate someone and two things can happen: either I destroy their self-esteem and have them afraid of me, so they're too meek to act out again, or I give them an excuse to have a grudge on me and they certainly won't have humility, at least not to me - because they'll try to best me and act out even more.

An important part of humility is not making others feel bad by respecting yourself and other people. Humiliating others is not part of being humble, at least not in my books. It's just a power play.
 

AzuGazer

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BlahISuck said:
Just because they're spelled the same doesn't mean they have similar connotations. Humiliation is taking away of someone's pride. We would put humiliation among things like degrading a person or disrespecting their dignity. Humility on the other hand is modesty, not showing off, not trying to act like you're better than other people - the important thing here is how you act with respect to other people.

I can humiliate someone and two things can happen: either I destroy their self-esteem and have them afraid of me, so they're too meek to act out again, or I give them an excuse to have a grudge on me and they certainly won't have humility, at least not to me - because they'll try to best me and act out even more.

An important part of humility is not making others feel bad by respecting yourself and other people. Humiliating others is not part of being humble, at least not in my books. It's just a power play.
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umm... ok: Part temp.

first paragraph. Humiliation is to degrade and take away pride yes. that way they can actually learn humility. usually what keeps someone from humility is pride (they are opposites)

How about a third usage in humiliation. they learn humility because they're self-esteem (pride) has been lowered. Then they thank you because of what you have done. in fact too much confidence on something is so bad. (you think ur so good you don't need to be better)

Humility actually is a level you hold yourself too. it affects how to act to people, but it isn't about other people. Acting humble is like showing how less you are instead of how more. Like if you think u did a good job or not.

Also, u seem to think humiliation is all bad. when its not. when People truly feel humiliation, its a lowering experience. like when someone Thought they owned everything, then realize they only own a part of something, they are experiencing humiliation.

Your first example however, u didn't humiliate them, you seemed to scare them. then in your second example, you seemed to have angered them
 

Rezilia

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Silais said:
We need to teach our children that our bodies are not objects that we should use to exploit ourselves and others.
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And then everyone turns 16. And no one has any problem with exploiting their own bodies anymore. What, you think punishing your child is going to make them have any less hormones when they get older? No, it isn't. When you have sex literally atleast once every month (and don't say that most parents don't), and then tell your children sex is bad, you're a hypocrite. When you tell your child that twerking is bad but do it yourself at parties or whatever, you're a hypocrite.

I find it hilarious when people at age 20 are appalled at 18 year olds having sex, 18 appalled at 16 having sex, 16 at 14, 14 at 12, 12 at 10, etc. All it is is people not being able to deal with their own insecurities, due often based on psychological reasons - like "I don't want my daughter to be a pregnant teen like me" or "Oh my I'm sure that grown man next door will rape my daughter since I feel he looks at everyone perversely" or things like that. And yet, when you see people that have no insecurities, you'll find they aren't hypocritical and they let everyone do whatever they want without going in and screwing up others' lives.
 

Kanzler

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AzuGazer said:
umm... ok: Part temp.

first paragraph. Humiliation is to degrade and take away pride yes. that way they can actually learn humility. usually what keeps someone from humility is pride (they are opposites)

How about a third usage in humiliation. they learn humility because they're self-esteem (pride) has been lowered. Then they thank you because of what you have done. in fact too much confidence on something is so bad. (you think ur so good you don't need to be better)

Humility actually is a level you hold yourself too. it affects how to act to people, but it isn't about other people. Acting humble is like showing how less you are instead of how more. Like if you think u did a good job or not.

Also, u seem to think humiliation is all bad. when its not. when People truly feel humiliation, its a lowering experience. like when someone Thought they owned everything, then realize they only own a part of something, they are experiencing humiliation.

Your first example however, u didn't humiliate them, you seemed to scare them. then in your second example, you seemed to have angered them
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No, humiliation usually involves making people feel like ****. I'd like to believe you can teach somebody to be humble without doing so. Anyways, it's not like this girl is arrogant or anything, this is about humiliation not humility. There's no evidence to say that she thought she was "all that".
 

CoffeeDrink

GET WHILE THE GETTIN'S GOOD
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It's good and bad, koff~

All forms (nearly all forms) of punishment have their meaning. Some are less effective than others. This punishment may prevent her from doing stuff in the future, koffi~
 

AzuGazer

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BlahISuck said:
No, humiliation usually involves making people feel like ****. I'd like to believe you can teach somebody to be humble without doing so. Anyways, it's not like this girl is arrogant or anything, this is about humiliation not humility. There's no evidence to say that she thought she was "all that".
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of course people feel like poop. what they thought before is now seen to them as wrong because of the humiliation

u don't have to do anything to anyone to make them feel anything. which must mean everything anyone does in unnecessary.

This Parent was being every effective in using that method to assure dat girl won't be shaming.

i mean she is 12. clearly the parent saw this and wasn't having any of that. she needs these lesson this early, easier to learn.

the humidity she learn is to think "is this what my parents would be ok with?" sometimes. very good life lesson
 

Silais

That useless reptile
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Rezilia said:
And then everyone turns 16. And no one has any problem with exploiting their own bodies anymore. What, you think punishing your child is going to make them have any less hormones when they get older? No, it isn't. When you have sex literally atleast once every month (and don't say that most parents don't), and then tell your children sex is bad, you're a hypocrite. When you tell your child that twerking is bad but do it yourself at parties or whatever, you're a hypocrite.

I find it hilarious when people at age 20 are appalled at 18 year olds having sex, 18 appalled at 16 having sex, 16 at 14, 14 at 12, 12 at 10, etc. All it is is people not being able to deal with their own insecurities, due often based on psychological reasons - like "I don't want my daughter to be a pregnant teen like me" or "Oh my I'm sure that grown man next door will rape my daughter since I feel he looks at everyone perversely" or things like that. And yet, when you see people that have no insecurities, you'll find they aren't hypocritical and they let everyone do whatever they want without going in and screwing up others' lives.
Click to expand...

I doubt that no one cares about a person's sexuality when they turn 16; parents still regard their children as children and while some may be a bit less involved in their children's lives, I sincerely doubt that most (or all, as you're claiming) parents find that their daughters and sons sexual experiences at any age to be appropriate before adulthood. When you are 11-14 years old, you are NOT mentally mature enough to make decisions about sexual activity; as I had said before, you are not mentally mature until you are 25, but being an 11 year old engaging in sexual conduct is not acceptable. These children will most likely not understand the necessity for protection; they may not see or know there are consequences to such actions. A good parent understands this and will not just try to shield their child from behaviors that may create permanent consequences but also try to teach them that some activities are not meant to be engaged in by children and that as they grow older, they will become more mature and will be more able to make these life-changing decisions while understanding the risks and rewards.

I think you're a bit confused about parenthood. A parent that tells a child sex is "wrong" is different from a parent who tells a child sex is "for adults" or "not acceptable for your age". To say something is "wrong" means that it should never be attempted; if the child's parents are having sex while they are telling their child it is wrong to do so, then yes, they are being hypocritical. But an adult parent who tells their child that sex is not meant for someone of their youth is not a hypocrite; they're simply trying to warn their child about the consequences and that it's not always a good thing to grow up too fast.

If you think that a child acting in a sexualized way is okay, then I think perhaps you need to rethink what you are saying. Not all adults sexualize children, but those who do would be more inclined to act upon those desires when they see children as young as 11 participating in actions that are adult and insinuate sexual activity. It is not really a matter of insecurity; having sex is a MASSIVE responsibility and when a child is still young enough to throw tantrums, there is no way that we as mature adults should allow them to become sexually active or act in a sexualized manner. It's simply not responsible.
 

Kanzler

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I don't think twerking is that sexualized, tbh. It has a sexual inspiration, but as it gets more and more mainstream, it becomes just a dance.
 
Esper

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BlahISuck said:
I don't think twerking is that sexualized, tbh. It has a sexual inspiration, but as it gets more and more mainstream, it becomes just a dance.
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I agree that most people doing it probably aren't thinking of it as a sexual thing, but that doesn't mean that people viewing it will think the same way. There's a dissonance going on. Us more experienced older people look at a 12 year old and say: "Why are you doing that? Kids that age shouldn't be doing sexual things." We're afraid it'll lead to something they aren't ready for even if that's not their intention at all.
 

Darkroman

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BlahISuck said:
I don't think twerking is that sexualized, tbh. It has a sexual inspiration, but as it gets more and more mainstream, it becomes just a dance.
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I'm sorry, but popping your ass back isn't at all sexual? Let's go back in time... Even Elvis Presley's hip swaying movements back in the 60s was (and still is) sexual. I think it more has to do with how "whorish" one looks. Look at the tango, for example.. one of the sexiest dances ever, yet since it's so elegant, it's widely accepted.

Who knows, maybe over time twerking will become just as accepted as the tango.
 
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