Writer's Ultimate Challenge! (Game for Writers)

Yes, I'm working on that other one, but here is my entry for the current one...

"Don't worry too much about it," said the moderator, sighing in relief. "Certainly, I'm sure there will be visitors here again. Pok?mon won't just die off, because it'll create great memories for everyone. Those who remember Pok?mon from the past will eventually find this last Pok?mon forum, and they will make this place grow again from nothing! You're my friend and at least I'm always here to support you!"

Click to expand...

EDIT: The other one. Just a quickie, but you're not judging by the writing style, are you?

"Donphan, Earthquake!" the other trainer shouted, pointing towards my Pok?mon. "And Pidgeot, use an Air Cutter!"

"Rapidash, use Bounce," I countered quickly, knowing that the Salac Berries both of my Pok?mon had eaten moments before would allow them to react quickly. "Skarmory, use a Swift to counter the Air Cutter!"

The Donphan smashed its legs into the ground, but Rapidash leapt high into the air, higher than either of the attacks the other Pok?mon had sent would reach her. At the same time, the Pidgeot started flapping its wings fast, sending sharp gusts of small tornados towards my Pok?mon. Skarmory let out a metallic cry and shot a flurry of glowing white stars from his mouth that sought out the whirlwinds as if drawn there by a magnet and destroyed them.

Click to expand...

Frostweaver said:

Do anything you want Lily...

Click to expand...

That sounded like sarcasm. ;;

But anyway, here it is:

"Don't worry," sighed the moderator in relief, "There'll certainly be visitors again. Pokemon won't just die off; it'll create great memories in everyone, and those people will find and make this last Pokemon forum grow again! You're my friend and at least I'm here to support you!"

Click to expand...

I think I condensed it a bit too much.. o_o

Ahh too bad so little people tried the battling scene... I thought that it was fairly challenging and requires a fair amount of creativity myself. I don't believe that I a perfect solution to this either, but I'll share what is the closest I can get.

I'll choose Flygon, an obvious candidate for this challenge, together with (surprisingly,) Snorlax. Flygon has great type advantage over Donphan's attack, and its access to rock attacks can greatly damage Pidgeot in a counterattack after this incoming wave of attack. Snorlax is a powerhouse capable of causing tremendous damage as well. If Snorlax's trick work in this encounter, then Snorlax can possibly wipe out the opposing Pokemon with Flygon's help in one round.

Flygon and Snorlax will both have to use Salac Berry, as they need very desperate measure possible to outrun the incoming attacks. Flygon, being faster than Snorlax, can easily use Fly to dodge both attacks at once. Since Flygon attacked already, Snorlax can use its Mimic. Copying Flygon's Fly, Snorlax can also be magically lifted away from the attack. This combination of using two Fly attack will turn the table. Snorlax with its heavy weight from the high above will cause devastative damage in any form of counterattack...

The flaw in this plan is that mimic's usage is slightly twisted from the game. Right now, Mimic is capable of using the copied move immediately, and hopefully that isn't too much of a change from the original move. Another problem is Snorlax's speed in using Mimic, and charge up Fly fast enough to dodge Air Cutter before it hits... even the Salac berry may not be enough. As you can see, my answer is flawed as well, but personally, it's the best possible plan that I can possibly think of.

Both Dragonfree and Yamato-san's answers are creative in their own right, while both got the exact same possible flaw. Both answers sought to find a way to have one Pokemon completely dodge both attacks, while the other use an attack to negate Air Cutter. Gust's secondary ability to lift Sudowoodo, while causing minimum friendly fire damage towards it (as it's a rock type), is fairly creative. Bounce on the other hand is never heard of in anywhere, even in the game. Yet at the same time, both tactics require the success of either Gust or Swift to negate the Air Cutter attack. (Not really a problem, because I can't think of a flawless solution myself.)

As for eventidemjj's response, I think I talked about Protect being abused already... sorry =(

From Question #3 said:

Breezy: 0
Charon-chan: 0
Darkcharlie: 0
Dragonfree: 5 (3+2)
Eventidemjj: 5
Katsuro: 1
Light Azumarill: 2
Lilypichu: 0
Spoony-chan: 0
Yamato-san: 10 (8+2)
Spoony~chan: 2 (0+2)

Click to expand...

Before we look at question #4, I'll first tell everyone that it got 84 words in the question...

Kakashi and Sasuke Lover: Welcome to our crazy challenge! ^^ Hope that you'll continue to visit us in the future. *You're* more than welcome to play, as we love *your* presence here. (You're vs your... Sorry, but you missed that grammar mistake in your response.)

Spoony~Chan: Yes you've followed the rules, but you also missed out the "your" and "you're" grammar mistake... sorry again!

Eventidemjj: No technical grammar mistakes... word count: 67

Dragonfree: No technical grammar mistakes either... but it's a 69 word count.

Lilypichu: finally you're playing ;p Lily has an incredible 47 for word count.

Now let me share my view on the quote...


"Don't worry 2 much about it. Said the moderator, as she sighed in relief. "Certainly, im sure that there will be visitors here again, just like before. Pokemon won't just die off as if it is nothing, because itll creat great memories in everyone. Those people who remember Pokemon from the past will eventually find this last Pokemon forum there is, and they will make this place grow again from nothing! Your my friend and at least there's always me here to support you!"

The mistakes that *must* be changed:
-2 has to be written out as too
-part of the quote is missing a closing bracket for a dialogue
-there are a couple of missing ' marks (especially for the contractions)
-"people'll" is not a valid contraction
-Your has to be written as you're

Places to reduce word counts can be:

"Don't worry 2 much about it."
"Too much" isn't completely necessary. It does lower the tone, but doesn't change tone completely. The original content is still alive. Using an eclipses at the end instead of a period can help with the tone a bit to make up for it. "about it" can also be taken out because the dialogue will continue, and it's not too late to reveal the problem one phrase later.

"Said the moderator, as she sighed in relief."
-saying "sighed the moderator in relief" can reduce word count

"Certainly, im sure that there will be"
-certainly, sure and will all suggest the same thing... keep one, and take out the other two. Using "will" can probably reduce word count the most.

"visitors here again, just like before."
-again and just like before both suggest what's in the past... keep again, and take out the other part

"Pokemon won't just die off as if it is nothing"
-just isn't necessary, so take it out. You can also delete "as if it is nothing" by directly linking on to the next phrase.

"because itll creat great memories in everyone."
-saying "because it lives in everyone's memories" is not only better (a stronger emotional impact,) but also shorter.

"Those people who remember Pokemon from the past will eventually find this last Pokemon forum there is, and they will make this place grow again from nothing!"
-say "Those who remember will find and make this last Pokemon forum grow again!" will suffice. This entire paragraph is talking about Pokemon as a dying fad, and it doesn't need to be repeated over and over again. "From the past" is redundant, as it's implied by the word "memory."

"Your my friend and at least there's always me here to support you!"
-say "You're my friend and I'll always be here to support you." will reduce the word count. Also, the fix sounds stronger in terms of the supportive tone for the moderator in comparison to the old quote.

Final answer's word count: 45 (almost 50% decrease in length from the original)

final answer for #4 said:

"Don't worry..." sighed the moderator in relief. "There'll be visitors again. Pokemon won't die off because it lives in everyone's memories. Those who remember will find and make this last Pokemon forum grow again! You're my friend and I'll always be here to support you."

Click to expand...

Question #4 Results said:

Breezy: 0
Charon-chan: 0
Darkcharlie: 0
Dragonfree: 5
Eventidemjj: 6 (5+1)
Katsuro: 1
Light Azumarill: 2
Lilypichu: 2 (0+2)
Spoony-chan: 0
Yamato-san: 10[/B]
Spoony~chan: 2 (0+2)

Click to expand...

Frostweaver said:

Both Dragonfree and Yamato-san's answers are creative in their own right, while both got the exact same possible flaw. Both answers sought to find a way to have one Pokemon completely dodge both attacks, while the other use an attack to negate Air Cutter. Gust's secondary ability to lift Sudowoodo, while causing minimum friendly fire damage towards it (as it's a rock type), is fairly creative. Bounce on the other hand is never heard of in anywhere, even in the game. Yet at the same time, both tactics require the success of either Gust or Swift to negate the Air Cutter attack. (Not really a problem, because I can't think of a flawless solution myself.)

Click to expand...

Wait a minute, shouldn't I be getting more points than Dragonfree? Aside from the fact that you complemented my use of Gust, I did go into more detail about why I used the Pokemon and moves that I did, even explaining how only those specific Pokemon would work in the scenario (Sudowoodo's a light rock-type, and Flygon's not weak to Air Cutter and has a high attack strength to pull off Gust), and even made use of the rock field (even if briefly) by suggesting one possible way that Rock Slide can be portrayed. Dragonfree, on the other hand, doesn't point out what it is Swift has that most other attacks don't have, make reference to the rock field, explain why she'd use Rapidash instead of Grumpig to Bounce, or why she's using Skarmory as opposed to any other flying/levitating Pokemon capable of using Swift.

I think it might be because of this:

-Use any narrative to any desired length to answer the question.

Click to expand...

You did not use any sort of narrative, but rather just explained what you would do. Additionally, considering Frostweaver asked for a narrative, he was probably not hoping to get a detailed explanation of why I'm using Rapidash instead of Grumpig or Skarmory instead of another Flying Pok?mon (which there was no particular reason for, as a matter of fact, except that I like those two). I don't see why that would be needed anyway; he asked for a creative strategy to counter the attacks, not a breakdown of exactly why we choose to use a particular technique.

Ok... these questions are hard to think of x_x;

I do hope that some of these questions can help you in your actual fanfic writing. Try to think about some of these questions for your own story, and you may come up to a sudden revelation about your writing.

Question #5- Choosing Characters- Pokemon Characters

An author is interested in starting a new Pokemon story that talks of a complete collapse of friendship between humans and Pokemon. The government in power is trying their very best to completely eradicate every Pokemon there is, but a Pokemon antagonist constantly gets in the way. However, the author can't think of an appropriate Pokemon for this major character role.

Offer a possible Pokemon character who is fitting to be the antagonist of this story, and explain. Legendaries maybe used. If you see no existing Pokemon that is fitting for this job and wants to make a new Pokemon, describe what attribute does this new Pokemon need to have in order to take up this role.

Points are given according to how well you defend your chosen Pokemon, and if you truly considered different aspects when you choose your Pokemon character.

Click to expand...

something like a vigilante, eh? Well, let's see.... there really is no one answer, because the possibilities are so vast unless you specify further. This Pokemon will either be taking out humans on its own, which requires skills, or it could be leading its own army of other Pokemon, which requires leadership (much like Mewtwo was attempting with his army of clones), or it could do both. Whatever the case, the Pokemon should be considerably intelligent.... although, it's kinda hard to distinguish the intelligence of certain species. We know Alakazam's smarter than a super computer, but then again, Pokedex entries shouldn't be taken to heart too much, since they talk about how Dragonite and the Latis understand human speech. That's an inconsistency, considering we all know every Pokemon in existence has at least enough intelligence to understand commands. Although, it might look a bit awkward to see dopey Pokemon like Numel or Slowpoke doing anything more than following orders.

Should it be taking out humans by itself, it's gonna have to be strong. If humans are wiping out Pokemon, they WILL use technology to accomplish it. Be it realistic destruction vehicles, or the numerous gadgets that Team Rocket has, they are bound to use it. The Pokemon's, of course, gonna have to be strong enough to take down such vehicles, or at least be strong enough to break windows or doors and take out the driver, maybe even just lift off the panel to a control circuit (if not, tear through it). The Pokemon should be very mobile as well, capable of reaching high places (like the afforementioned driver's seat to destruction equipment, or control towers), so either flight/levitation, climbing, or clearing tall jumps is essential. But more often than not, at least one of those (tall jumps) will be covered by another requirement, and that's agility. Humans use guns, the Pokemon would have to dodge bullets somehow. Though, alternatively, the Pokemon could just have a high defense and take those bullets. Golem, Steelix, Aggron, etc. don't seem like they'd have much trouble thrashing destruction equipment, neither. They're capable of climbing, too, but it's not like it'd be too necessary, considering they're probably strong enough to take out such things from the base. However, when it came to sea-based raids, like sneaking onto a supply ship or getting to an oil rig, those Pokemon would have some problems.

If the Pokemon's leading an army, though, pretty much anything is possible, because even if the Pokemon is considerably slow and weak, like a Caterpie, yet manages to provide intelligence strategies to its army, that shouldn't even matter. They'll likely have some personal bodyguards that do fall into the above categories, and both transport and protect their leader. Water Pokemon that are limited on land could also have psychic Pokemon that carry them around.

So Yamato-san, which Pokemon will be the most likely to have all/most these well-rounded attributes, enough to be a good choice of a leader? Or, do you think that a new Pokemon is needed because no existing Pokemon have the capability of even some of these traits?

like I said, there's too many possibilities. However, after Mewtwo Strikes Back, readers may be most accustomed to Mewtwo taking on the vigilante image than any other Pokemon. However, since people seem to really look for originallity in fanfiction.... when you think about it, even a Pikachu is capable of pulling off the things I specified. That oughta really throw everyone for a loop, being such an odd, yet original choice. But, if you wanted to be original, yet not so outlandish, I think the ideal vigilante would be a Pokemon with a human-like figure. Not Humanshape exactly, but have arms, upright legs, and the muscular build of your average grown man. Something like Alakazam, the Hitmons, Lucario, Sceptile, or Blaziken would work wonders.

But my personal choice would be..... [cough].... er, Sceptile.

An author is interested in starting a new Pokemon story that talks of a complete collapse of friendship between humans and Pokemon. The government in power is trying their very best to completely eradicate every Pokemon there is, but a Pokemon antagonist constantly gets in the way. However, the author can't think of an appropriate Pokemon for this major character role.

Offer a possible Pokemon character who is fitting to be the antagonist of this story, and explain. Legendaries maybe used. If you see no existing Pokemon that is fitting for this job and wants to make a new Pokemon, describe what attribute does this new Pokemon need to have in order to take up this role.

Points are given according to how well you defend your chosen Pokemon, and if you truly considered different aspects when you choose your Pokemon character.

Click to expand...

First time I'm trying this out, I'm kind of nervous. ^x^

It'd actually be prompted to go for a legendary on this one; probably Lugia. Here's why:

Leadership: Lugia's authority is unquestionable. Yes, brains is important, and so is power. But a Caterpie can't lead an army for one good reason: it wouldn't be able to compete against internal dissidence. The Legendaries, being the strongest of the strong (or so we can assume), can easily either crush or try to negociate around any disagreements. Furthermore, Lugia, being the mythical baby-sitter of Articuno, Zapdos and Moltres, has already shown that it possesses a bomb-proof temperament: if it can quell a world-threatening spat between siblings, leading an army single-file should be a piece of cake in comparison.

Negociations: Lugia can speak to humans, and this is a big plus. Having already interacted with humans (naturally, this is only if the author decides to take Pkmn2K into account), Lugia would have a far better chance of smoothing out excess conflict, and recruiting pokemon-friendly humans willing to help its cause. (But of course, there would still be conflict and bloodshed, or else what kind of self-respecting war would it be?)

Organisation: Like any institution, an army is run by many people doing many different things at many different times; communication can be very difficult to manage. Being Psychic and a Legendary, Lugia is telepathic by default (again, the movie gives this once extra cedibility, as it does communicate with Ash telepathically)--this means speaking with a number of different people at a time, which is naturally the key to keeping the machine running like clockwork, on or off the battlefield.

Credibility: Out of all the Legendaries, Lugia is probably the best suited for the job. What with the whole Beast of the Sea thing and whatnot, it's demonstrated its ability to keep a level head and assert itself. Mew, well...Mew, enough said. Mewtwo wouldn't want anything more to do with humans, in my own humble opinion, after two debacles with TR. Moltres/Articuno/Zapdos would want nothing more than to kill the two others than anything else--conveniently, Lugia would probably be able to put them under his command: I'm pretty sure they'd make effective generals, given the right incentive. Raikou has that whole environmentally-friendly thing going for it, but then again, so does Lugia. Entei might make a good candidate, but that whole 'I-shall-grant-you-every-wish' thing is kind of a turnoff. Suicune isn't a leader, although it'd make a wonderful scout, and Ho-oh hasn't made enough appearances so that I can pass judgement. As for the rest, I must confess my gaping ignorance concerning the Gen3 Legendaries/pokemon in general, because, well...Ihaven'tplayedRubyorSapphireorseenanyofthemoviesandIsuck. Plus, I stopped watching the show awhile ago. ;.; *sob*

The only incovenient side of Lugia is its size, which is rather problematic in terms of performing stealth jobs; however, this is why there are spies! In any case, for sheer showiness, a huge, good-looking, powerful pokemon can't be beat. Lugia, flying at the front of an army--what a moral-booster for the troops, not to mention the oppositon must be wetting their pants at the thought! Furthermore, since it's relatively unknown in terms of characterization, Lugia can be played out however the author likes.

CQFD.


There, now my brain is fried and I couldn't come up with more if I tried. u.u *dies*

PS: don't bother trying to understand what CQFD means. It's French, and a total insider besides XD
PPS: I'm totally confused as to those 'mother-baby Lugia' episodes in the Johto arc...I sort of only half-watched them. u.u *bricked* So I'll leave the validity of the above up to your discretion.

An author is interested in starting a new Pokemon story that talks of a complete collapse of friendship between humans and Pokemon. The government in power is trying their very best to completely eradicate every Pokemon there is, but a Pokemon antagonist constantly gets in the way. However, the author can't think of an appropriate Pokemon for this major character role.

Offer a possible Pokemon character who is fitting to be the antagonist of this story, and explain. Legendaries maybe used. If you see no existing Pokemon that is fitting for this job and wants to make a new Pokemon, describe what attribute does this new Pokemon need to have in order to take up this role.

Points are given according to how well you defend your chosen Pokemon, and if you truly considered different aspects when you choose your Pokemon character.

I dunno. Mewtwo. ~~;?

First, let us remember that Mewtwo has darkened his outlook on humanity, or so we know based off its history. If the government (people) tries to eradicate Pokemon, then that alone will be compatible with Mewtwo. In other words, it makes sense considering between Pokemon and Human, there is sufficient evidence as to why he'd pick Pokemon. Coming from that, Mewtwo is fit to constantly get in the way, whilst the government continues to shred what last remnants of hope Mewtwo has for the humans. His true thoughts (hatred, or whatever) would be absolute. That would explain the 'complete collapse' between humans and Pokemon.

Also, I do not believe Mewtwo is as heartless as his exterior shows. It might be just an opinion, but Mewtwo does have Mew. Assuming he shares a tiny bit of what Mew has to offer, then his total avoidance with humans/Pokemon would be no more. Certainly he'd pay attention to the fact the government is trying to wipe out a kind of his own.

In terms of communication, it is shown Mewtwo is capable of human speech. Although negotiating with humans seem out of context, Mewtwo will pay more attention to the humans, anyway, since humans have always been poison in his mind. Not that he is apathetic towards Pokemon's existence or anything - it makes sense that he is more focused on the government's action, not the health and safety of a few thousand Pokemon. He's not that nice.

What Mewtwo does should be kind of obvious. Destruction for him should be no problem, with his psychic enhanced powers and intelligence. Bullets can be reflected off by his barrier (as shown in the movie), and he could simply teleport to another space if in trouble. If he needs an army...well, he DID lead this group of clones. As frosty had never mentioned exact fighting to take place, Mewtwo might just settle down with major blows to random spots in the government to harm them more - as in not taking it all out on them at once. Or he might just create mass destruction, as seen in either the anime/movie.

Mewtwo was never really much of a protagonist. He opposed everything and everyone, and the author might start off the story where the bond between humans and friendship is teetering. If humans try to extirpate Pokemon, then the Pokemon will no longer trust them. If Mewtwo sees the government committing such act against the Pokemon, he will most likely divert his attention to how low minded and deceitful they act, which will inevitably increase his anger towards humanity. His actions against their actions collide, and eventually the fragile string of friendship will snap.

So, in the end, if written from the perspective of the humans, Mewtwo will always seem like the antagonist. His motives might be vague in the beginning, however, but in the end, despite who wins, the feeling and intentions will not change.

~


I just chose a random legendary, although I was severely tempted to choose Pichu.