Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

I'm sure this has been discussed countless times (really if it has, lock the topic haha).

But anyways, the age old question, is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Or in a broader sense, is it better to have had something and lost it, than never to have had it at all? Do the positive effects of the experience outweigh the detriments of never experiencing something? Is there a time frame for such an occurrence before it actually affects you? Any additional thoughts would be nice.

I'd rather my life be full of "oh well!"s than "what if?"s. The experience of it all, whether it a negative one or a positive one, is enough. All experiences shape us, and we can't become the best people we can be without having experienced both joy and sadness.

Well, really you can be either way and still be happy the with how things turned out.
I will admit that it would get pretty lonely without any love interest in your life. Although losing said loved one is incredibly painful.
So I guess we end up back at zero anyway you look at it.

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.", George Bernard Shaw

That's my view on the subject....

You need to have things to enjoy them, and then if you lose something, you experience loss. You need to experience loss to grow as a person and get stronger. If you don't have that strength... then you won't get far in life. Take what you're given and make the most of it - if you lose, you've learned something.

I'd much rather have a fleeting moment of love/victory/other positive emotion here than to never have tasted any of it. :/

In a world full of consumerism and pollution, I think neutrality and minimal lifestyles ought to be valued more.
It is impossible for a human to "do nothing".

Experience lies within the seemingly mundane moments just as it does in the grandiose.

You know what Livewire, would you suppose the fact that it is "fleeting" should add constructively to the enjoyment you would get out of it? In the same way stolen fruit is sweeter than bought fruit.

Perhaps the message here is to enjoy what you have instead of missing what you don't.

I think it's a very broad statement, and it can't always apply to every situation, but generally I agree. I would rather experience something and relinquish it than watch from the sidelines for my whole life. It's like being a spectator to a sport you'd enjoy playing but convincing yourself you're happier just watching because you're afraid you might get hurt. The things that hurt us make us stronger in the end; sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally. Everything we experience in life helps us grow and defines who we are. Honestly, I'd rather be beat-up and full of happy memories than safely wrapped in bubblewrap with an empty mind.

A desire for knowledge —experience of one's surroundings— is evolutionarily advantageous so of course we want to learn new things, but once we are brought to appreciate particular things as positive or negative, we are prone to becoming increasingly subject to the whims of our circumstances than our own decisions. I, personally, have an high degree of interest in and respect for the mental state of feral humans... but I'm not particularly invested in the positives or negatives of advancing one's experiences as I am not partial to emotionality, ergo I seek to learn anyway. Objectively, I don't know which is the 'right answer' though I don't also assume that there is such a thing. It is if nothing else easier to be simple and ignorant.

Plumpyfoof said:

You know what Livewire, would you suppose the fact that it is "fleeting" should add constructively to the enjoyment you would get out of it? In the same way stolen fruit is sweeter than bought fruit.

Perhaps the message here is to enjoy what you have instead of missing what you don't.

Click to expand...

Depends if you look at it that way. Wouldn't you rather some some happiness over none at all?

I like to take every opportunity I can in life - as Nick said, I prefer "oh well" to "what if". So yeah, I feel like it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all and all that. It hurts more to have loved and lost, definitely, but at least you know how it turned out in the end. I'd be more at ease with that than being left wondering.