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  #1    
Old April 13th, 2006 (01:25 PM).
Digimon Kaiser's Avatar
Digimon Kaiser
White and Nerdy
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Digital World
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nature: Adamant
It supposedly takes place two years after the Video game Digimon World 3 (this game is known in Europe as Digimon World 2003), and the evil A.o.A is back, attacking the new online game called Digimon Online 2. You don't know that, but you play the game and find out about them. You also have to have 3 (rookie level) Digimon, a D-Helper, which is a new feature to Digimon Online 2. This feature has everything that was in the Original Digimon Online! You register your 3 Digimon, and meet in Asuka City. This is where you here about the A.o.A, who want to take over the game and overthrow MAGAMI (who made the game). This adventure will have new places, and old places from Digimon world 3, in both the Asuka and the Amaterasy servers.

THE SIGN UP
Username: Riku
Real name: Eric
Gender: Male
Physical Description: The main hero from Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness (I like using him for Digimon rps)
Personality: Hot tempered, impatient, but very friendly to his allies. He also is desperate to defeat to A.o.A.
Digimon (can be from any season and any game, as long as they are rookies! They can learn their natural Digivolutions, along with other Digivolutions, after certain points in the game and any of the Digivolutions and Rookies also can be made-up): Agumon, Biyomon, Tapirmon
Digimon personalities: Agumon's has a personality like Riku's. Biyomon is always looking on the bright side of things and very happy, but she can be sneaky. Tapirmon is very hyper and playful, he doesn't really like to fight.
Digimon Natural Digivolutions: Agumon's champion, ultimate, and Mega are Greymon, MetalGreymon, and WarGreymon. Biyomon's champion, ultimate and Mega are Birdramon, Garudamon, and Phoenixmon. Tapirmon's champion, ultimate, and Mega are Hippomon (I had to make up a good champion for him, so Hippomon was created), Mammothmon, and SkullMammothmon.

Give me constructive criticism ONLY!
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  #2    
Old April 13th, 2006 (02:31 PM).
Loki's Avatar
Loki
its easy being with you
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Tokyo, Japan
Nature: Calm
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Okay, first assessment.

Add a setting. Describe where you'll begin, it's surroundings and everything.

Why describe the setting when players obviously already know what it looks like? Well first off, not everyone who joins may have played it before. That's what makes a good plot good. If someone has never played the game before, they should know exactly what's going on. Like, I haven't played this game before, and I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about. A.o.A.???? Amaterasy Servers? <--Did I even spell that right?

Yeah. So that's the first thing that should be edited.

Also, you're sign-up sheet is a little lacking. If that's you're own sign-up, I say you work on the Personality until it matches something ten times better. It's short, doesn't tell you anything except the fact that he's basically like Tai, and technically, you may want to put more depth into it.

And right now, I'm seein' your character as someone who looks like a Tai twin. I haven't the foggiest clue as to what the main hero from Pokemon XD:Gale of Darkness looks like. Never can figure out whether it's the red haired kid or Wes, or that other dude with the big shoes or w/e. You're technically RPing with yourself with that plot. Put yourself in someone else's shoes, someone who doesn't know anything about your character or the topic. Do you think you'd join if you didn't know what the RP master was talking about?
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  #3    
Old April 14th, 2006 (11:26 AM).
Digimon Kaiser's Avatar
Digimon Kaiser
White and Nerdy
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Digital World
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nature: Adamant
It's The red-haired kid, Wes is in Colosseum. This rp is new, and I created it when I was bored.
__________________
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth."
"The most important thing when ill is to never lose heart."
"Sometimes - history needs a push."
-Vladimir Lenin
  #4    
Old April 14th, 2006 (02:06 PM).
Loki's Avatar
Loki
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You asked for criticism, and I gave it. Criticism usually applies to when you're going to edit and make it better. Because I personally don't care in the least if you made it while you're bored, I care that it's lacking in plot, setting, and description. I know it's new, you stated that in the first post quite clearly thanks, but if you don't want to edit it/take advice why post this thread? It nullifies the meaning, unless you're going for more of a 'who'd be willing to join' thing.

Thank you for your attention. *sarcasm*
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if you gave me a chance i would take it
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  #5    
Old April 14th, 2006 (06:42 PM).
Garouga! Bare Your Fangs!'s Avatar
Garouga! Bare Your Fangs!
Throw your fangs up!
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: In the bottom left corner of your screen
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
WARNING: Major Star Ocean: TTEOT spoilers used as an example!!!


Some of your plot sounds like Star Ocean: TTEOT. Party of three out to overthrow the Creator of a game they know as real life (although, I like that game's name for the Creator better). To me, this whole thing is like combining that game with the first season of Digimon. I know this was very brief, but Bell took all of the good stuff...
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  #6    
Old April 15th, 2006 (07:00 AM).
Digimon Kaiser's Avatar
Digimon Kaiser
White and Nerdy
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Digital World
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nature: Adamant
It's ACTUALLY a sequel to Digimon World 3, which I put in the first post.
__________________
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth."
"The most important thing when ill is to never lose heart."
"Sometimes - history needs a push."
-Vladimir Lenin
  #7    
Old April 15th, 2006 (10:16 AM).
Loki's Avatar
Loki
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Location: Tokyo, Japan
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Yup, so as I said, this thread is technically useless if you don't take the advice and give excuses instead, considering this is a help thread. And also, if you wanted help, you should've posted it in the Drawing Board, or, that would be my fair guess.
__________________
if you gave me a chance i would take it
it's a shot in the dark but i'll make it
  #8    
Old April 23rd, 2006 (02:30 PM).
Digimon Kaiser's Avatar
Digimon Kaiser
White and Nerdy
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Digital World
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nature: Adamant
Oh well, I'll try to take the advice and use it.
__________________
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth."
"The most important thing when ill is to never lose heart."
"Sometimes - history needs a push."
-Vladimir Lenin
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