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Moon's Pokemon Adventure

Wingnut

Moon: 12 years and counting...
201
Posts
18
Years
I still don't understand why the Buneary started crying. It just.. started crying? Further explanation please.


Because Moon poked it in the eye. I tried to sprite it out in the second panel, and then in the third where the Buneary is holding it's eye, but I guess it wasn't clear enough.
 

Wingnut

Moon: 12 years and counting...
201
Posts
18
Years
Newest episode is up!

Comic4A.png


I wanted to get some more feedback about links. Does anyone else think I should just have links to the individual episodes on the first post and then just bump when I add a new one, or should I show them individually with each new post? Let me know! Thanks. :)
 

[NovaPirate]

And the rest went riding on.
802
Posts
18
Years
Rather cliche how the Buneary can talk. One day there should be a Pokemon that holds up signs instead of talking >.<

I've noticed your adaptation of TUP (Text Under Panels) which isn't a good thing. TUP is bad, speech bubbles are good. Try practicing implementing speech bubbles.

Make sure that she catches another Pokemon.. that can't talk. I don't understand how people have respect for these trainers with only one talking Pokemon. I, personally, would slap them for being vain >.<
 

DrCoolSanta

Erode away...
406
Posts
19
Years
Whatever I say, it's not something to be thought to be offensive, and I don't even make good comics myself, and i have even left making them, it's a tedious job.

Let me explain what people mean about the mixing of different art styles. First think about having the land of Pokemon Fr/Lg and the heros of Pokemon Ru/Sa, seems out of place doesn't it? So compare Moon's sprite with Pokemon Fr/Lg, out of place isn't it? Moon looks like a perfect graphic trying to be viewed in a computer with bad graphics drivers, that is you need to improve the colours and shading and make it look similar to Pokemon Fr/lg sprites.

Then now you need to fix some stuff on Moon, needs a little curving on the dress of moon in your avatar, because I guess you'd use it in the comic. Fix the fluffiness of her hair and make it more human like, Pokemon trainers are detailed and Moon isn't detailed much.

The comic is hillarious but nothing near what it could be like, doesn't give me a laugh, just a smile, the punches aren't too good, I guess that the storyline won't support many pucches, I see you improving this in the newer comics, but you knew I had to point it out.

The meaning isn't very clear, I didn't think she got the Pokeball from the guy at the town, she even seemed a little more confident about things she didn't know about in the 2nd part.
I understand you wanted to make the poking in the eye in the comic and no closups, and you probably knew it wasn't very visible, instead of just saing poke, you should have also made the Buneary say something like, "Ahh my eye!" (And if you don't know, in most movies the animal, ie in this case the Pokemon, that speaks, it will speak when the hero first meats it and an incident will pass by and the hero won't realise it until later when they meet face to face.)

It lacks professionality in it, simple things such as uniform height, width, etc. would make it more like a comic strip ready to be published (And that look makes it look really good.) other things like background and designer speech bubbles will make it look good.
 

Wingnut

Moon: 12 years and counting...
201
Posts
18
Years
The Buneary doesn't actually speak, per se. To the average human, it still sounds like Buneary gibberish. Moon, being half animal (catgirl), can understand it. That's going to be one of the ongoing plot lines in the story. Moon will be able to talk to and understand Pokemon (think Dr. Doolittle).

Also, I want the comic to be funny, but I'm actually trying to tell a good story that isn't always about the humor. There will be many serious moments as well. I have the story fleshed out in my head all the way to the end, so we'll see how it progresses. I actually intend this to be a side story to Moon's main story, which I'll hopefully be able to provide a link to before the day is over. Rest assured, Moon will catch more Pokemon.

As far as Moon's sprite, I guess I'm not seeing the difference. Are we talking about the OW sprite? I'll look at it again and see if I can make it more cohesive with the other sprites. I didn't realize it was that noticable. Heh, she IS from another planet, so maybe THAT'S why she looks different. (Lame excuse. Just kidding.) I'll see what I can do about it. Keep the comments coming!

*EDIT* I have Moon's backstory ready for anyone who wants to read it. I will give fair warning: There are some elements of the story that are of an adult nature. Therefor, I'm putting the story in a spoiler tag. If you can't handle mature (but not out and out graphic) content, DON'T READ IT!

Spoiler:
 
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DrCoolSanta

Erode away...
406
Posts
19
Years
What it lacks is probably the colour, I can guess you made it in paint, first of all fix the colour of the dress, you need to use a different shade of blue, this one is what is termed as eye-burning, same with her hair. And we aren't talking only about the OW. Just the choice of colour will make her blend in the Fr/Lg sprites.

And rightnow here hair looks like someone has been spitting gum in it, you know girl's hair has a shape and texture, even cats have it. Some of her parts look good, like the thing in her hand (bag?) in the Avatar, but her looks aren't as good, her planet can't be a 16 bit coloured place for sure.

Only Moon understands Buneary, but then keep in mind that even if she (Buneary) can't be understtod by most humans, she will have to say something like "Oh! My eye" and there is no way that Moon does not hear it now but hears it later.

She is from another planet, but now that she is on Earth with Pokemon, she needs to adapt.
 

xxTragicNightmare

xTragic's Page
35
Posts
16
Years
Make sure that she catches another Pokemon.. that can't talk. I don't understand how people have respect for these trainers with only one talking Pokemon. I, personally, would slap them for being vain >.<

as she already said, Moon is half animal. so she can understand and talk to buneary, so therefore she can probably speak to all pokemon i am guessing
 
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