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  #51    
Old September 25th, 2007, 07:39 AM
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Zylasn
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I decided to take a look, and my, what an interesting story!
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  #52    
Old September 25th, 2007, 02:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GrovyleMan View Post
I decided to take a look, and my, what an interesting story!
Thanks, I'm glad you like it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glajummy View Post
First of all, I'm angry that this chapter is so similar to me next one >.> I wanted to take my anger out on the review, but the beta-reading was too good. Nice job, both of you.



I recently learned that eyes don't actually "bleed", they just excrete liquid. This isn't a real mistake because a "bloody eye" is a common term.




Haha... I love Corphish. Can't wait to see his personality after evolution.




"a" became "A"... I think that's right.




You forgot to press enter twice here.
Well thanks for not taking it out on the review xD.
I'm sure that your next chapter will dwarf this one, so I hope you don't go out of your way to change it. I'm excited to see how its simalar.

As for the eye thing, I didn't want to go into TOO much detail xD thats my defense.

I also like Corphish, he's very fun to write.
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  #53    
Old September 25th, 2007, 02:42 PM
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I kinda knew that Jeff would catch a Tailow, and Daedalus looks to be an interesting new addition to the story.
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  #54    
Old September 25th, 2007, 02:53 PM
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^ Let's hope that he will
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  #55    
Old September 30th, 2007, 04:09 PM
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A Head as Hard as Rock


Jeff and the trio of pokemon neared the large city of Rustboro. They stepped off of the wooden bridge and onto the more secure, solid grassland. Ahead of them was what appeared to be two trainers in the midst of battle, along with a crowd of five people watching. Corphish ran ahead to join the spectators, while Treecko walked to the right to get a better look at the battle. The onlookers cheered and hollered for the girl to win. They all watched the battle intently. Jeff remained standing with Daedalus in his folded arms; his wings were slumped over Jeff’s hands to weakly hang on. Jeff walked to his right, under the shade of a tree.

On the battle field was a confident-looking woman dressed in a red and white-laced jogging outfit. She had short brown hair which flowed smoothly in the river breeze. The pokemon in front of her was a brick red fox pokemon. Its fur was magnificently beautiful. It had six puffy, orange, tails that it swung around in preparation for her trainer’s orders. Facing the two was a person and pokemon that seemed strikingly familiar to Jeff.

The male human was wearing a white t-shirt and blue shorts that didn’t go past his knees. He had a strong but slender face, his eyes covered by sunglasses. He brushed a hand through his very short, almost buzzed head of dark brown hair, in frustration. His pokemon was a blue and white bird, but it could not fly. The pokemon’s yellow feet were shaking. The blue penguin’s chest was a light blue with the false impression that the pokemon was wearing a cape, which was made up of blue fur that hung down its back. He had a bruise on his large blue head. There were white splotches of fur around the water pokemon’s sad, beady, black eyes. Beside them were a grey bike and a blue helmet sprawled in the grass.

It hit Jeff who these two were. Jeff recalled back to when he ran to the lab to get his pokemon, he saw this guy riding on a bike through town with that pokemon. He also remembered that Kristie referred to that pokemon as a Piplup. His eyes drifted from the battle to the grass. He went from remembering the Piplup to remembering Kristie. All he could picture then was Kristie and Alan making out in front of him. He shut his eyes and could feel a hot wave of sweat creep around his spine. With his eyes closed the thought of them kissing continued and became more intense. He dropped one arm, almost causing Daedalus to fall from his arm, and clenched his fist. A bead of sweat dropped from his arm and onto his fist, which shook with rage. He widened his eyes and tried to concentrate on the fight to take his mind from his thoughts.

“Ok, Vulpix, use swift!” yelled the girl to her fox pokemon.

The pokemon opened its mouth wide and let out a cute “VUULLL” as it began to unleash the sharp energy stars at the poor Piplup. The Piplup covered his face with his hands. The stars cut through his skin but dissipated before they could damage any internal organs. The bleeding Piplup fell to the ground. The guy, who seemed only a little older than Jeff, rushed over to it with his bag in hand.

“Come on, Piplup, I know you can do it!” encouraged the man, half-heartedly.

“Pip… ” whimpered Piplup, shaking his head.

Daedalus opened his eyes and groaned.

“Take it easy, buddy,” advised Jeff in a low, reassuring tone.

They both watched the battle, or massacre, from many meters away.

“I believe in you, Piplup! We can win!” the man continued to urge.

Piplup looked up at the man and blinked, giving in. The guy gave his Piplup a large potion to drink. The defeated pokemon struggled to get to his feet. Moments later, Piplup was brought to the ground again, by another barrage of stars.

“Piplup, just hang in there a little more. You can do it!”

The Piplup was given another potion and he got to his feet. He was taken down in the same fashion and brought back up in the same fashion.

Jeff and Daedalus both looked at the pushy trainer in contempt.

“That’s pathetic…” whispered Jeff through a grimace.

“<I hope you don’t mean the pokemon…he’s doing everything he can out there.>”

“I mean the human. He put his friend up against a much tougher foe, who’s clearly beating the crap out of that poor Piplup. Each time the Piplup is knocked down he urges him to keep going. The Piplup clearly doesn’t want to battle and that guy acts as if it’s a game and those phrases, which are supposed to mean something, are just passwords that keep the pokemon battling. His Piplup probably knows that those words are lies, but he will still battle for him because he’s his trainer and his friend.”

“<Or maybe he’s too afraid of the human to do otherwise. He was probably taken from his home and doesn’t know what to do so he just does what his trainer wants so he can stick around.>”

“Perhaps he just wants to THINK that his trainer is being sincere. Also, when the Piplup is knocked out he just keeps pumping him full of potions and revives. It’s like he doesn’t care how much the pokemon is getting hurt and he just keeps setting Piplup up so that he gets hurt more, in the false hope that he may WIN that time around.”

“<Do all trainers do that? Do you, Jeff?>”

“No!” Jeff quickly shot back, offended.

Daedalus let out a heavy sigh of relief, but as he sighed he cringed. The aches from the encounter were still present and unyielding. They continued to watch the Piplup fall to the ground. The water pokemon began to edge away from the Vulpix; he didn’t dare turn his back to the pokemon. His wings were quivering and laced with cuts. His pseudo-cape was matted with so much dirt that barely any of its original color was showing.

“<So this is the breaking point where a Piplup will swallow its pride and back down…>” Daedalus said somberly, with a groan.

“That trainer is more a pure idiot than he is stubborn! Although Piplup’s not seriously injured, the he must be going through a seemingly infinite time of pain…all so that he can see his trainer be happy.” Jeff was now panting as a product of the zealous rant.

The Piplup tried to crawl away from the battle; tears were streaming down his face from the overwhelming situation. The girl, the Vulpix, and the crowd dispersed, acknowledging the fact that the fight was over.

In a serious, profound tone, Daedalus added, “<What’s worse is that the Piplup is only young… too young for treatment like this. They think that they can justify using pokemon to fight their battles with the fact that they have a bond. The pokemon are too loyal and the humans too ignorant.>”

The words that Daedalus had just uttered hit Jeff like stone in his gut. He leaned over, wary of the fragile Taillow, and picked up a stone. He tightly grasped it before throwing it. With a roar, he heaved it towards the river. Jeff was so angry because he knew Daedalus was right.

Jeff brushed his hand through his hair and looked at Daedalus, who looked at him with confusion. “… You’re right; we can’t even fight our own battles on a personal level… we have to use our pokemon instead! It’s times like these that I’m ashamed of being a human.” Jeff began to remember when he beat Alan in a pokemon battle but couldn’t punch him, personally. He bit his cheek and tightened his fist. Man, did he want to slug him across his lying face. Meanwhile, Daedalus looked up at Jeff with a serious face. An ounce of respect he gained for Jeff could be seen through his eyes. Corphish and Treecko walked back to Jeff when the onlookers dispersed.

“<Well that was a disappointment… they didn’t even sell nachos for the battle!>” Corphish scoffed.

“<I could have done better than that Piplup, and I’m a grass type!>” Treecko confidently sighed.

Jeff and Daedalus both shot them subconscious glares in unison. Daedalus clawed his way up onto Jeff’s shoulder. They watched the guy sit his Piplup upright; he gave him a final potion and sat beside him.

“We have to try harder next time! We can’t beat gyms like that!”

The Piplup shook tears from his eyes looked at the ground in shame.

“I know that you can do it but you’re not fighting to your full potential! I want you to try harder next time for me! You were doing it all wrong; you had to do it like I did, like we practiced! That’s the only way that we can become stronger and win!” provoked the biker.

“<Jeff… can I?>” asked Daedalus in a determined rage. He dug his claws sharply into Jeff’s shoulder. Jeff instantly knew what he was talking about. He was surprised by the fact that Daedalus asked permission first.

“Of course you can,” Jeff replied with a malicious grin on his face. He ignored the pain of the digging claws.

Daedalus jumped from the shoulder perch and began to fly. His anger and the pain that he was already in served as a fuel for his flight. Daedalus flapped his wings and shot towards the man. He began to claw and peck at the guy’s face. The Piplup looked up and cracked a smile.

“ARH, get it off me, GET IT OFF,” the guy yelled, flailing wildly.

Treecko and Corphish looked at each other in bewilderment.

“<Now that it’s brought up… that human’s face DOES kind of look like a bird house!>” giggled Corphish.

Treecko decided not to intervene in anyway. He walked over to the tree that Jeff watched the battle from and sat against it, using his tail as a pillow.

“<This is even better than that last battle!>” Corphish added, hopping around Jeff.

After his share of venting anger, Daedalus flew back to Jeff, landing on his hand. As soon as he landed he collapsed in Jeff’s hands, the wounds from Nidoking paying their toll.

The guy ran over to Jeff, holding his bleeding cheek.

“HEY! What the hell was that?! Your damn Taillow just attacked me!!”

“Oh, sorry, he does that when he sees something that strikes him the wrong way. I’m Jeff, by the way.”

“Yeah, ok, I’m Blane…”

“Blane?!” Jeff asked with intent. “I remember hearing on the TV that you had the most fearsome Magmar in all of Kanto! I thought you were older… and less of a jerk.”

“No… NO, NOT the gym leader, it’s B-L-A-N-E, no ‘I’! You should keep that thing on a tighter leash!”

“That ‘thing’ is my friend, Daedalus, and I think you do enough of that for the both of us!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you are more concerned about winning a battle than your own pokemon. If I were like you, then I’d probably be sending my Treecko against a fire type when he already has a serious burn, just so I’d win!”

“You just mind your own business and keep Day… Dahh… WHATEVER! Keep your Taillow away from me!” With that he returned his Piplup to his pokeball and walked away from them.

“Let’s go into the city… I guess,” remarked Jeff. Treecko jumped onto Jeff’s shoulder and Corphish, to Jeff’s annoyance, vicegripped Jeff’s pant leg in an attempt to climb onto his backpack. He slowly made it up further, clamping onto Jeff’s waist like he was scaling a mountain, before reaching the backpack.

“<Real smooth there, Corppy,>” mentioned Treecko, eying the puncture holes in Jeff’s shorts and shirt.

“<Oh shut up, ninja boy! We couldn’t ALL make the gymnastics team… as much as I would have liked to… >” Corphish retorted, the last part in a mumble.

“<Ninja boy? Your nicknames are slipping as much as you are!>” taunted Treecko from Jeff’s shoulder.

Corphish tried to hit Treecko from Jeff’s shoulder but felt himself slide backwards off the backpack. He clamped the very end of the bag and he dangled, refusing to let go.

“Settle down you two, or do you want to end up back in a cage like last time?”

They sighed while they began to enter the large city of Rustboro. Around them were many high rises and office buildings but it was nowhere near as energetic and yet, to Jeff, as gloomy as Petalburg City. One building that towered over all others was a grey skyscraper that said “Devon Corp.” on the very top. Jeff followed the building from roof to base with his eyes and at the bottom there was an ambulance, four police cars, and police tape sealing off the entrance.


Jeff walked on the paved sidewalk towards a white building with a red shingle roofing, which was undoubtedly a pokemon center. The building looked no different from the pokemon center in Oldale and Petalberg. It was like all the centers in this general area had the exact same blueprints. Across the street from the Pokemon center was a large building labeled “Gym”. Beside it was an equally large building. The sign on the large grassy grounds of the building read “Rustboro Pokemon Academy”. The field must have been used for practicing and working with pokemon. Jeff walked through the sliding door and up to the counter.

“How may I help you?” the pleasant and calm voice of Nurse Joy asked.

“My pokemon need healing. They all have blunt impact wounds and Treecko and Corphish have rope burns on their arms,” Jeff explained to Nurse Joy.

“A trainer battle?” Nurse Joy questioned Jeff, taking Daedalus into the back room followed by Treecko and Corphish.

Jeff quickly answered, “No, a bad run in with a Nidoking.”

Nurse Joy nodded and closed the door behind her. Jeff sat down on a red couch. He noticed a woman with long brown hair with pink bows eying him. He glanced over to her and noticed that she was dressed like a schoolteacher. She put a coffee mug to her fair-skinned face and took a sip. She abruptly stood up and walked out of the pokemon center.

“Good news!” a cheery female voice affirmed. “Treecko and Corphish are all ok and should be in traveling shape! But, your Taillow has some internal bleeding so he will need to remain immobile with us for no more than a day,” explained Nurse Joy.

“In-internal bleeding?! Where?! Will he be ok?! Can I see him?!” Jeff anxiously asked.

“Yes you can see him. There’s no need to worry, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“<Fine? He was squeezed like an orange and slammed halfway into the ground… I’m surprised that he made it this far,>” Treecko muttered to Corphish.

Jeff’s chest tightened with the comment. Some things are better left unheard.

Jeff followed Nurse Joy into the door beside the counter, which turned into a hallway with four doors. They entered the first door on the right, which red ICU. Jeff remembered ‘take your kid to work day’ with his dad; ICU meant Intensive Care Unit. It must have been bad.

They opened the door and Jeff saw four beds. The closest one had a Mudkip, surrounded by two large, pink, balloon-esque pokemon. Both had egg pouches on their chests along with stubby arms and feet. The two Chanseys wore nurses’ hats. They were seen removing a large piece of glass from the Mudkip’s face, just beside the orange whiskers. Jeff turned his head and quickly walked over to Daedalus, who lay two beds away from the gruesome scene. Daedalus had his wing in a sling and bandages ties across his chest, concealing his red and white feathers on his chest.

“He seems to have dislodged his wing while flying… it was already tender from the injury, so that must have set it off.”

Jeff ran over to his bed and kneeled down beside him. “Are you ok?! Are you in a lot of pain? Do you need morphine?”

“<I’m fine... stop looking at me like that, Jeff!>”

“You sure you’re ok?”

“<Yeah… but thanks for asking.>”

“Your Taillow could use a lot of rest. We’re lucky he’s as hardy as he is or else he may not have made it.”

Jeff’s heart sunk.

MAY NOT HAVE MADE IT?!

“I KNEW I shouldn’t have let him fly ahead of me! I could have made it by those traps and saved them easily,” Jeff moaned in thought.

Nurse Joy led them out of the room and back to the lobby.

Jeff put Treecko on top of his backpack to relax and held Corphish with his two hands. He didn’t realize that his hands were trembling. “What now?” he asked his two pokemon.

“<Now we do the hokey-pokey and we turn ourselves around! We go win your badge, dummy!>”

“<Yeah, that IS why we came here isn’t it?>” Treecko added.

“You guys fight… so that I can have a badge? I don’t think so.”

“<You know that a badge reflects just as much on the pokemon as it does the trainer. The trainer just wears it since us pokemon don’t have shirts!>”

“<I’m actually agreeing with Corppy here. We want to win!>”

“Are…are you guys sure? It’s dangerous,” Jeff asked again.

“<We’re positive, damn it! We know what we’re getting into; you’re not conscripting us and sending us off to war!>” Treecko insisted.

“Thanks… really.” Jeff smiled, touched that his pokemon would battle despite the fact that he wasn’t doing it himself.

“<Ok ok, settle down. Besides, I’m fighting first!>”

“<My leafy *ss you are! I don’t think you can take a gym battle!>” scoffed Treecko.

“<I can take you!>” Corphish threatened through a grin.

“Ok, enough! We’ll see when we get there!”

Corphish scowled at Treecko, who coerced him through a triumphant, confident grin.

Jeff turned around to Nurse Joy, who was handling a Sandshrew.

“Excuse me, if Daedalus… the Taillow, wakes up, can you tell him that I’m out buying him some medicine?” Jeff pleaded.

“Of course I will,” Nurse Joy responded

“Thank you.”

It’s best if Daedalus doesn’t know that I’m out fighting in a gym. After that conversation we had I can’t face him if he knows I was trying to get a gym badge. Plus this way he thinks I’m doing things for others instead of selfishly getting a badge. I will give him medicine… except it will only be from my medical kit,” thought Jeff to himself.

Jeff turned to his two pokemon and suggested, “Let’s get this done.”

The two nodded and followed him out of the pokemon center. Conveniently the gym was right across the street from the center, so they crossed the road. There was not much traffic seeing as the sun was setting and people were already home from their jobs. The gym was about the size of a warehouse. There were two boulders on both sides of the glass door. Jeff opened the door and to his left was a bored-looking man sitting behind a counter. He was munching on a donut and watching a pokemon football game of the TV beside him.

“And the Pinsirs have taken the lead against their arch nemeses the Heracrosses!” roared the sports announcer.

The man looked up at Jeff and asked in a gruff voice, “You here for a gym battle?”

Jeff looked unsurely at his companions who proceeded to lightly punch the backs of his legs.

“Err…yeah! I’m here for a…gym battle,” he stammered.

“Oook, go through the door on your right and I’ll buzz in Roxanne,” the guard instructed.

Jeff followed the order and walked from the main entrance, through a door, to the arena field. Jeff was in awe at the sight he saw; the field was the size of a football field. There were rocks ranging from massive boulders to pebbles strewn about the field. The terrain was hard and there were protrusions of land mass coming from the field which created slopes, as if an earthquake had hit it. The ceiling was high, so that flying pokemon could still move freely… although no good trainer in the right mind would put their flying pokemon up against rock types.

A woman appeared from behind Jeff and poked him on the shoulder. Jeff turned around and it was the brunette who looked like a school teacher. She had a serious yet welcoming expression.

“… Hi,” Jeff greeted with a puzzled tone.

“Hello, I saw you in the pokemon center earlier. You must be here to battle me,” deduced the woman in a sweet voice.

“You’re Roxanne?!”

“Yes I am. I’m also one of the teachers on the Rustboro Pokemon Academy. What is your name?”

“I’m Jeff… Jeff Growell. It’s nice to meet you. I… guess I’m ruuhhh… ready.” Jeff replied in uncertainty.

“<Arceus… man up, Jeff…>” muttered Treecko under his breath. Jeff still heard and shot Treecko a glare.

“You seem hesitant… but you are a new trainer, most new trainers are either over-confident, over-worried, or overwhelmed. But all want to battle as much as the next. Is something troubling you?” she asked in a soothing voice.

“I uh… it’s… no, it’s nothing. I only have two pokemon and I think the rules usually call for three on three battles.”

“I was only planning on using two pokemon anyways,” Roxanne, the rock-type gym leader, explained.

“But what if we come to a draw?” Jeff inquired, somewhat confused.

Roxanne grinned as if she had a hidden agenda. “We’ll just see if it comes to that. Feel free to choose your first pokemon while I go to my side of the arena,” Roxanne suggested, starting to traipse along the rocky field.

“Ok, I choose Corphish!” said Jeff, the one decision that he didn’t second guess.

Corphish hopped about with excitement. Treecko, hurt, darted his head at Jeff and opened his mouth to protest but he stopped himself. Instead he closed his mouth and walked away from them to lean on a rock.

“<No need to be a sore loser but why would he choose HIM before me?>” thought Treecko.

Reaching her side of the field she turned her head and informed, “By the way, it will be two rounds on a one on one battle.”

Jeff nodded and she withdrew a pokeball from a briefcase which lay beside a large rock.

“You’re up, Aaron!” she called, throwing a pokeball onto the rocky terrain.

What appeared was not what Jeff had expected. A small, metal-backed quadruped formed from the red light. It shook small steel spikes which obtruded from its back, as if brandishing them. Dispersed, black spots could be seen on the tough shell of the pokemon. He identified it as an Aron, who was, in addition to rock, steel-typed. He had scene one of these creatures from his pokemon biology class. Professor Birch had brought one in to show an example of what a mix of an endoskeleton and exoskeleton of a pokemon was like.

“Aaron, harden your shell please!” Roxanne advised her pokemon.

The armor pokemon dug its feet into the ground and a crackling noise could be heard from the Aron’s stiffening shell and muscles.

“Corphish… you use… do a... try a Crabhammer!” Jeff managed to spatter out in an incoherent order.

Corphish caught the gist of the command and ran towards Aaron with his claw swinging in a downward cut.

“<You’re going to be in a world pain from my claaaaa…>” Corphish trailed off in a wince as soon as his claw hit the iron shell. The claw hit a dull metal spike on the Aron’s back.

“<OW OW OW OW!>” yelled Corphish, hopping around sucking his claw with his mouth. “<IT’S KIND OF LIKE SPARRING WITH A BRICK WALL HERE, JEFF!>”

“Sorry, I’m sorry!” Jeff quickly answered. “Use your bubblebeam?” he asked, giving an insecure suggestion of Corphish’s defense tactic.

“Aaron, quickly use headbutt!”

The Aron tucked in its head and began to charge at Corphish, who was still shaking off the pain in his claw. Aaron struck Corphish’s side with its head. The impact actually created sparks from the friction of the two colliding shells. Corphish flew backwards into a rock which was his size.

“Again!” Roxanne commanded with a serene voice.

The Iron Armor pokemon continued running, head down, in a charge towards Corphish.

Jeff struggled to order a defense command in time. “Corphish, hurry…uh, try a… I know!” But it was too late. Aron rammed him into the rock with a sickening crack. The force from the two tough objects shot Corphish upwards. The ruffian pokemon landed back on the rock and slumped to the ground. Jeff dashed over to Corphish and gently placed him in his arms.

“Oh… Arceus! Say something, Corppy!”

Corphish managed to strike a faint grin. “<You know how much I hate being stuck between a rock and a hard place…>”

“So your Corphish can no longer battle… good effort, though. Aaron, come back!” Roxanne called.

“I’m sorry,” Jeff said, picking up Corphish and bringing him back to his side of the field.

“<Oh, get over it! It’s not YOUR fault Corphish lost! You have nothing to be sorry for!>” Treecko prodded, annoyed at Jeff’s constant behavior.

Jeff glared at Treecko and pointed a thumb towards the field. “You’re up, Treecko. It’s all riding on you.”

The lizard stepped forward to the left of a large rock, flicked his twig up before catching it in his mouth, and struck a confident pose. As Treecko did this cocky gesture, a fresh pokeball was released onto the field.

“Slate! Go for it!” the gym leader called, releasing her second pokeball onto the ground.

Slate appeared to be a small boulder with two arms and a broad face. It tucked its arms to its chest and rolled forward, going faster. What the rock pokemon known as Geodude was famous for was its attack ‘rollout’. The Geodude rolled along the ground, picking up both dirt and speed.

“Slate, keep using rollout!” Roxanne encouraged the boulder pokemon. Geodude kept rolling forward towards Treecko, constantly gaining momentum.

Treecko saw a window of opportunity. He decided to back up against a large boulder. Treecko outstretched his arms and dug his feet into the ground, waiting for the enemy to take the offensive in the fight. Slate came towards the wood gecko who had a plan, who now had his tail firmly against the boulder. The Geodude rapidly neared Treecko.

Jeff yelled, “Treecko what the hell are you doing?! If you don’t want to battle then don’t leave yourself wide open; come back here!”

Jeff could no longer see Treecko behind the boulder, but he had a feeling that Treecko was giving him a defiant look. Jeff could see the Geodude become ever closer to the Treecko and the boulder. When it was three feet away Treecko jumped and Slate rammed right into the boulder. A dirt cloud erupted around the boulder hindering all vision. The smoke began to dissipate and Geodude could be seen no longer rolling and fallen on its back, stunned. Treecko landed on the top of the boulder above Slate.

Jeff decided to do something; Treecko was making him look like an incompetent idiot. “Now try a bullet seed!” he yelled.

Treecko glanced back and opened his mouth to fire. Nothing came out except for air! Treecko was surprised at the lack of Bullet Seeds coming from him.

“Treecko, what’s wrong?” Jeff called to him.

Treecko desperately tried again; this time it worked. Geodude tried to get back up but he was bombarded with bright green energy bullets pelting him into the ground. Dust and rock fragments shot up around Geodude. The smoke cleared; Geodude’s unconscious body could be seen lodged halfway into the ground. The boulder pokemon snorted in defeat.

“Good try, Slate!” remarked Roxanne before recalling it, leaving a crater beside the boulder.

“<Alright!>” said Jeff and Treecko in unison. “What happened there, Treecko?”

“<I… don’t know,>” he answered, lost in deep thought. Treecko glanced at Corphish who drank a potion down whole in one gulp.

Jeff and Roxanne met at the center of the arena.

“It’s a draw… so now what?”

“I overheard you talking to Nurse Joy in the pokemon center. You said that your pokemon had a run in with a Nidoking?”

“Yeah… they were captured by him but managed to escape… why?”

“That Nidoking has been causing problems for the people and pokemon native to Rustboro and its surrounding areas. Just recently he stole two fossils from the Devon Corporation.”

Jeff tilted his head in response to hearing the name of the company. Then he remembered the massive building with the police tape around it.

“The Devon Corporation is a company local to this city that creates many futuristic technologies… one of which includes a fossil reviver. The Nidoking broke into the company late one night, knocked out the guards and stole two ancient pokemon fossils from the lab.”

“Ok… why are you telling me this?”

“I want you to defeat… or even distract the Nidoking long enough for me and a small team of others to go into his territory and take the fossils back. If you can do that and make it out in one piece… you can not only have the badge but Rustboro City will be in your debt.”

Jeff was shocked. “Debt? I’ll do it… but I don’t want any debt or anything… even the badge...”

“Leave at nine-o-clock sharp! I’ll send the team in fifteen minutes after and I’ll meet you under the bridge on the far side of the river.”

“Yeah, ok.”

Jeff picked up Corphish and, with Treecko, walked from the rocky arena and past the sleeping security guard at the main desk. He lay strewn amongst donuts and many copies of ‘sports illustrated’. They opened the front door and headed off back towards the pokemon centre. On the way Jeff couldn’t help but wonder why she chose him to do this mission.

Why did she choose me? I’m an awful trainer… I can’t even keep my own pokemon from being taken and beaten up,” he couldn’t help but ponder. More thoughts crossed his mind. “What if I can’t hold him off? What if Treecko or Corphish end up like Daedalus or worse?! Why can’t they distract him instead of us?!”

They crossed the black asphalt road. Street lights began to turn on when the sun set completely into the west. The traffic was now nonexistent, which was strange given the size of the city. Jeff, Corphish and Treecko walked into the pokemon center. Jeff greeted the cheerful Nurse Joy. He was worried that she’d think that he was a horrible person for letting his pokemon get hurt so much. Jeff sheepishly muttered, “I think Corphish needs another check up.”

“Of course, Jeff!” Nurse Joy smiled. She took Corphish and his pokeball, and went into the back room. She opened the door to the room and Daedalus instantly flew out of the room and flew over to Jeff. He chirped ecstatically; he was happy to be away from the aid station, landing on Jeff’s shoulder.

“Hey! I’m glad you’re alright, buddy! Your wing must be ok!” Jeff greeted with relief. Daedalus shrugged at Jeff’s gesture of friendliness. Daedalus’ coldness towards him was still fresh and Jeff couldn’t help but feel more rejected. “Right… ok, I gotcha. Anyways, you know that Nidoking?”

He nodded and chirped with an angry trill.

“Good, because we’re going to pay him a visit very soon!” Jeff fueled on the Taillow’s revenge lust.

“All done!” Nurse Joy stated cheerily. She handed back Corphish’s pokeball, which Jeff opened on the ground. "Remember to get your Taillow to stay off of his wing for awhile."

Jeff looked at Daedalus, whose face became disconcerted at the thought of being landlocked.

Jeff winked at him and lied, “Sure, I’ll get right on that!”

“Saddle up, you three, we’re going to take down the king,” Jeff explained, trying to boost the anticipation. Jeff was not prepared for anything of this caliber. He couldn’t even command a simple trainer battle. How could he possibly pull off something like this? He felt as in he was getting a stomach ulcer. One thing Jeff knew for sure was that fear was contagious, so he swallowed his own and forced an adrenaline filled grin.

He bent down to quickly pick up Corphish, as well as to let Treecko climb up his back. Jeff cringed as Treecko scaled his back and set up camp on his right shoulder, opposite to Daedalus. “You know, Treecko, those mini needle-hook things on your palms and soles really do hurt!” Jeff complained.

Treecko patted Jeff’s cheek with his hook-laden hand, causing Jeff to shout out in pain. Jeff scowled at Treecko, who gave a calm grin which lightly said, “Deal with it!”

“Let’s go!” Jeff crankily ordered.

He pressed his hands on the glass door. When Jeff opened the doors a night breeze swept into the Pokemon Center. They inhaled and smelled a sea breeze with a mixture of car exhaust which blew by their heads. Treecko jumped down from Jeff’s shoulder; the breeze seemed to stimulate Treecko’s urge to battle. He walked ahead of the three, eager to get the show on the road.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get your tails in a twist,” Jeff muttered, his mood worsening, not liking to be rushed.

Jeff caught up to Treecko and they walked past the tall office buildings and out of the streetlight lit city. They retraced their steps, walking over the wet grass and reaching a large, wooden bridge. Treecko ran ahead of Jeff and the others, stopping on the other side and chilling out against a sign post. Jeff admired the calm river which they walked over. The full moon reflected in the flowing water, casting a blue light on Jeff, Corphish, and Daedalus. They finally made it across the bridge and they walked down a hill to the right of the bridge. They walked by the riverside beach and stopped at the sign that Nidoking had created.

“Here we are…what are we supposed to do now?” Jeff thought out loud.

Daedalus raised his wing with a triumphant look.

“<Either you have a plan or you just telepathically won a game of chess with an Alakazam,>” Corphish pointed out.

“<I do! We’re going to set up an ambush right over there in the middle of the beach over there.>” Daedalus pointed his wing at the trap filled beach. “<We’ll set up bait somewhere where there are no traps. I’ll hide in a tree; Corphish, you hide in the river and barrage him with bubble beam when he’s caught off guard. Jeff, you can help fight if you want, but watch out for his poison spikes and his tail.>”

“<That’s a great plan, General Patton, but what’s the bait?>” Corphish asked. Daedalus stared at Treecko, followed by Corphish and Jeff.

“<Heh, no deal. This plan is Tauros crap. I’m not going along with this.>” Treecko scoffed with a cool defiance.

“Fine, I’LL be the bait,” Jeff sighed in irritation. “You do what Taillow told me to do.”

“<No way, I don’t need someone telling me what to do; I know my strengths and you should just let me fight Nidoking on my own,>” Treecko insisted.

Jeff shot him a cold, disapproving look. “We’re doing Daedalus’ plan,” he angrily claimed.

“<Fine, you guys do your thing, I’ll do mine.>”

“I see what Professor Birch means with his stubbornness and independence,” Jeff muttered to himself as Treecko walked away from them. Treecko’s adept hearing picked up on the comment. Offended, he indignantly sighed and climbed up a nearby tree to avoid the traps.

“<Jeff, you get to your place. I’ll guide you to make sure you don’t step on any traps.>”

Jeff, with Taillow on his shoulder, carefully treaded over the sand to avoid the traps. Corphish dove underwater in the river until all but his eyes and horns were submerged. Treecko watched the three in action, skeptical of their over-thought plan.

Jeff sat down in a trap free, sanded area. Taillow pecked him in the leg, sharply.

“Ach, damn it!” He cried out, clutching his bleeding leg.

“<We have to make your performance realistic,>” Daedalus reassured. “<Also, that’s for Treecko bullet seeding me in Petalburg Forest,>” he grinned before taking off to perch in a dark tree crown.

The waiting game had begun. Corphish exhaled bubbles from his mouth for amusement.

Pretty soon they could hear the loud stomps breaking branches in the nearby forest. The group became nervous in anticipation of the oncoming giant. They stayed in their places as the stomps became louder. There was still only darkness in the forest. Soon they could see the glint of Nidoking’s purple horn in the moonlight. His body became visible as he stepped out of the forest and onto the sand. He had a large black eye patch covering his right eye.

“<Well, well, well. An injured human in MY territory, you must have hit your leg on one of my traps!>” he growled, walking closer to Jeff. He walked up to him and grabbed Jeff up by the collar. The Nidoking held Jeff over his head. “I am DAGGERBACK THE OPPRESSOR… AND YOU SHALL PAY!”

“<What a coincidence! ‘The’ is his middle name and ‘Oppressor’ was his last name… it fits perfectly!>” Corphish thought while he treaded in the water.

“<NOW!>” Daedalus trilled in a battle cry. He swooped out from behind the shaded tree branched and began to peck at the back of Nidoking’s head, leaving bleeding cuts. Nidoking roared, threw Jeff off to the side, turned around, and began to swat at Daedalus. Corphish burst from the river water and unleashed a volley of bubbles at the Nidoking who called himself Daggerback. The bubbles hit Nidoking, distracting him from Daedalus. He roared as they burst on his gigantic chest. He whacked away Daedalus with one arm and began to charge full speed at Corphish. Corphish continued to fire his bubble beams at him. Daggerback endured the bubbles and picked up Corphish in one hand, beginning to squeeze with all his might.

“<That’s a mighty fine hand shake you got ther---AHHH!!>” Corphish tried to joke but had to let out a scream when he felt his shell beginning to crack under the pressure of Daggerback’s palm.

Nidoking, with Corphish still in hand, ran back from the river, dropped Corphish and swung his tail. With expert precision, Nidoking whacked Corphish with his tail and he hit the Taillow out of the air. Corphish’s hard shell knocked Daedalus out on impact. Daedalus fell from the air and landed on his bad wing. Jeff got to his feet and prepared a battle stance.

Treecko, who watched the plan go to hell, decided it was his time to intervene. He jumped from tree branch to tree branch until he was above Nidoking, who approached Jeff, cracking his knuckles. Treecko jumped down in front of Nidoking.

“Nice eye patch, pal. Wasn’t that Corphish and me’s handy work?>” Treecko mocked.

“<YOU! I shall take BOTH of your eyes!>” he bellowed.

“<Come here and try!>” he taunted, folding his arms.

‘Daggerback the Oppressor’ roared and charged at Treecko, horn lowered like a Tauros. Treecko ran to Nidoking’s right side, knowing that his vision was gone for that side. He jumped up onto Nidoking and crawled between his ears and on his head, looking downwards and firing an array of glowing green seed onto Nidoking’s face. Daggerback’s charge was forced into the sand by the sudden pressure on his head. As the beast skidded forwards in the sand, Treecko jumped from his head and landed triumphantly in front of him. Just to be sure he was down, Treecko unloaded another mouthful of bright green seeds into Daggerback’s head.

“<That was for putting me in a cage,>” Treecko spat, coldly.

He held up Nidoking’s bleeding and battered head by the horn and indicated that he was definitely unconscious. Jeff had helped up Daedalus and Corphish. They walked to Treecko’s side and stared in awe at the finally downed beast.

Jeff looked at Treecko who stared back at him with a cool, smug grin that made Jeff want to punch him.

“Oh, shut up!” Jeff shot at him, sore about being wrong.

“<What are we going to do with Patchy here?>” Corphish asked, pointing weakly to the body.

“Corphish has a good point, he’s heavier than me and those poisonous horns are going to be a pain in the *ss if we have to carry him. Where would we even carry him?” Jeff asked Daedalus.

Daedalus put his wing to his chin in thought. He stared out into the river and saw a couple rowing a boat. The Taillow snapped two of his feathers together, indicating an idea.

“<I’ve got it! We’ll use that boat, that way we can send him down river so he’ll be out of here, in the country, and we won’t have to drag him anywhere. Corphish, do your thing; besides, you are the ruffian pokemon!>” Daedalus suggested.

Corphish dove into the water and swam towards the boat. The couple looked worried as three orange horns in the water drew close to them. His pincers grabbed the side of the small boat.

The couple looked at him warily and the man began to reach for his pokeballs. “<I’m sorry, we’re going to have to commandeer your love boat,>” Corphish said uncomfortably. He then had made a facial gesture that said, “Oh, wow, surprise!” in a mock-shocked smile, as if he was going to his own surprise party but already knew of it before hand.

“<Have a wonderful evening, you two,>” he smiled before flipping the boat over.

The couple screamed as they fell into the water and swam to the opposite shore. Corphish proceeded to drag the capsized rowboat to the coast. The two continued to scream and cuss at the mischievous Corphish, who was now in stitches while he pulled the boat. They stomped soaking wet back towards Rustboro City, most likely to report the misdeed.

Through his laughter, Corphish managed to ask him the familiar rhetorical question “<Could I BE anymore awesome?!>”

Jeff helped him drag it ashore. He dragged it onto the sand and tipped it over to pour the water out. Jeff and Treecko pulled the unconscious Nidoking into the boat, cautious of his poison-laced horns. When he was resting fully in the boat, Jeff pushed the boat off into the tame current of the calmed river. They watched the Nidoking disappear into the fog capped rivers.

“<Goodbye, Purplebeard! Good luck finding the Black Pearl!>” Corphish called after him.

Jeff took out a blue, spray-on potion bottle and sprayed Corphish and Daedalus’ wounds with it.

“There, the wounds should fully heal in about twenty minutes.” Jeff informed, picking them up. “Let’s rest for about ten minutes to let the potion take affect.”

They sat and waited in the night. Tensions were high, wounds were deep, and time ate away at their sanity.

Much to their surprise and relief, pattering of many feet could be heard coming from the forest. A team of Roxanne and five others appeared from the darkness; in the same direction that Nidoking came. They were all dressed in black. Roxanne stepped forward; she had a scowl on her face.

“Jeff… I’m sorry.”

Jeff eyed her precariously.

“Your struggle has been in vain. We infiltrated his home but the fossils were not found. We looked high and low… and nothing. You got rid of Nidoking?”

Jeff nodded. “Yes, he’s floating on a boat down the river.”

“Darn… well, you did what I asked of you…you’re more than worthy of this badge.”

She handed him a shiny badge which was shaped like two golden chevrons.

“Thanks anyways,” Roxanne mumbled before turning away. The team walked up the hill and began to cross the bridge back to Rustboro City.

As soon as they were gone Jeff began to stare at the badge in his hand. He grimaced and placed the badge in his white and green New Balance shoe. Not his badge case. Not his shirt. Not his backpack. It was in his shoe.

The pokemon got to their feet.

“<Ya think we’ll see Patchy again?>” Corphish asked the group.

“<Given our luck I wouldn’t be surprised. He doesn’t seem like one who will let go of a grudge quickly,>” Daedalus stated. “<Where are we headed now?>”

“Dewford Island, I guess. We have to go back through Petalburg Forest to get to some Mr. Briney’s house. I hear he ferries people across the water.”

“<Petalburg Forest…>” Daedalus said, ominously, “<Let’s go!>”

Jeff walked with the pokemon that gave him so much, yet he returned so little.

Charity.”

-------------------------------------

AN:

A lot of stuff happened in this chapter, I hope not an overwhelming amount.

Blane (the guy with the Piplup) is kind of a reference to Ash. I just wanted to show a more realistic...I dunno version of what could pontentially happen with the typical trainer.

First gym battle... woohoo.

Beta'd by Diamondpearl876. Thanls BTW.

I hope all who read it enjoyed the chapter.
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  #56    
Old September 30th, 2007, 05:25 PM
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I don't think there was an overwhelming amount of events here. =P

I liked this chapter like all of the other ones; I guess that shouldn't be too surprising.

You did really well with the description of Piplup and making the reader feel sorry for it (in my opinion, at least). I'd kick that trainer's ass and leave. XD

Anyway, thanks for letting me beta this chapter as well, and keep it up!
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Old October 1st, 2007, 05:49 AM
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Well thats good to hear. Thanks for the beta and review and don't worry about it, you can beta as many chapters as you want
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Old October 1st, 2007, 03:01 PM
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That was a great chapter, and it's obvious you're getting better in description. I like the leader personality you gave to Daedalus and I hope you stick with it.

One problem, though...

Quote:
the field was the size of a football field.
GREATLY contradicts with...

Quote:
The gym was about the size of a warehouse.
and...

Quote:
Roxanne suggested, starting to traipse along the rocky field.
That's a pretty amazing feat. It'd take me about 15 minutes (probably more) to walk that distance. There are a few other thing that don't fit with the whole "size of a football field thing". You may want to change that...

Can't wait until the next update!
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Old October 1st, 2007, 04:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glajummy View Post
That was a great chapter, and it's obvious you're getting better in description. I like the leader personality you gave to Daedalus and I hope you stick with it.

One problem, though...



GREATLY contradicts with...



and...



That's a pretty amazing feat. It'd take me about 15 minutes (probably more) to walk that distance. There are a few other thing that don't fit with the whole "size of a football field thing". You may want to change that...

Can't wait until the next update!
Heh, ah yeah that was my fault. I couldn't really make up my mind between the two and I couldn't really have her walking for that long of the chapter as I wanted to get to the battle.

I'm happy you like Daedalus' personality and thanks for noticing improvement.


EDIT: I rewrote the Prologue.
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Old October 4th, 2007, 05:52 AM
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Dude this is laugh out loud funny keep it up.
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Old October 4th, 2007, 03:59 PM
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Cool, thanks. I'm happy you like it.
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Old October 7th, 2007, 03:42 PM
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Pre chapter authors notes.

A few things.
-It's not exactly a happy chapter.
-It's from Treecko's POV
-It has a song in it, which is "Talk" by Coldplay. If you want to read the chapter without being interrupted by the lyrics then simply don't read the centered text. It would help if you knew the song but it's not necessary as the lyrics are still there without the lyrics. If you want to here the music then by all means go ahead and find the song it whatever means you want.


The Breaking Point

We, the gang of four, started to walk up the hill, away from the river where we… I defeated Daggerback, and back onto the pathways. Jeff and I stood at opposite ends of the line; he was at the front and I was in the back. The apprehension was still hot between us. The midnight bode a soothing wind.

I saw Daedalus poke Corphish on the shell and he whispered something inaudible to him.

“<Hey, Corppy, do you feel a tension here?>”

“<Yeah I do. I think that Nidoking dislocated a bone in my shell,>” Corphish whispered back.

“<No, I mean between Jeff and Treecko, ever since I made that plan they’ve been pretty pissed at each other.>”

I didn’t know or care what those two were talking about, but I could only assume it was about me. I shot a bright green, seed-shaped projectile from behind Daedalus and hit my target, Jeff, in the back. Jeff cried out and whirled around glaring at me. I grinned rebelliously and shifted the twig in my mouth as if nothing happened. Daedalus decided to cover for me, for reasons which fail me, and told him, “<It was a bug.>”

Jeff turned around, grumbling. Corphish looked at me. “<You know, I really don’t see it!>” Corphish whispered back to Taillow, sarcastically. “<Actually, ever since the Petalburg incident, Jeff has been more irritable; he has been giving Treeck an especially hard time.>”

“<The... ‘Petalburg incident’?>”

“<Yeah, before we got to Petalburg Forest, we were traveling with a human girl, who Jeff had a huge crush on. When we got to Petalburg City Jeff met his most FAVORITE of his bestest of best friends. Although Jeff beat him in a battle, the girl went for Jeff’s rival. His heart was broken and here we are!>”

“<But why does he go off on Treecko?>”

“<I think they’re both having bad days.>”

They finished what ever it was that they were talking about when Jeff turned around and asked, “What are you two whispering about back there?”

“<Oh, we were seeing how low we could talk without being heard…you lose, Featherhead!>” Corphish answered, turning to Daedalus.

We reentered the dark Petalburg Forest. Mist encased the trunks of the trees as well as the underbrush, creating an eerie feel in the darkness.

“Dae, get up here! You’re on point!” Jeff called behind him. “You know these woods like the back of your hand…claw…wing? Don’t you?”

Daedalus chirped and flew up on top of Jeff’s head. Daedalus outstretched his wing, pointing to the quickest route out of here, like a compass. Jeff followed the direction of the dark blue wing until he would shift it, pointing to another direction, in which case Jeff would change directions.

“It’s a good thing we have Daedalus here as a guide,” Jeff stated aloud.

“<Yeah, otherwise you’d never get out of here alone,>” I mocked him, half kidding and half annoyed from earlier.

“Watch it, PAL, unless you want me to set you up with a lifetime contract as a mascot for a car insurance dealership,” Jeff retorted with seriousness.

A silence ensued as everyone kept to themselves.

“<We’re about at the halfway point. I say we should take a break, we’re all pretty beat,>” Daedalus suggested.

“Yeah, ok, good idea,” responded Jeff, sitting against a poplar tree with Taillow still on his head.

Corphish lay down near Jeff and I leaned against a medium sized tree trunk of a large oak, a couple yards away from them.

After a long silence, Daedalus piped up and asked morosely, “<Hey… Jeff? Do you mind if I… say goodbye to my friends? They’re probably worried about me… and I have to break it to them that I’m not going to be leading them anymore.>”

I carefully inspected Jeff’s face. I could see a large weight sunk in Jeff’s heart as a revelation struck him. He had probably realized that he had taken these pokemon away from their homes to fight for him. He had already had a rough time feeling comfortable with us battling for him… he didn’t even THINK about the fact that we had past lives before he came along. By his long pause I guessed that he became very disgusted with himself.

“<…Jeff?>”

Jeff awoke from his deep trance and answered with empathy, “Oh…yeah of course, Daedalus.” He went back to his thoughts.

Daedalus flapped his wings to try and take off from Jeff’s head. He got airborne but found himself being held back by something. Daedalus’ sharp talons were tangled in Jeff’s dense, dark brown hair.

“<Erg, Jeff my feet are stuck!>” Daedalus informed him, trying to fly with all of his might out.

“Ow, ow, OW! I’ve noticed, Daedalus,” Jeff groaned while his hair was pulled.

“<Hey, Corppy, wanna give us a hand?>” Daedalus chirped in irritation.

“<Hah! And miss this? Yeah, OKAY!>” Corphish laughed, mocking the situation.

“Damn it, Corphish,” Jeff growled. Daedalus began pecking at the roots of Jeff’s hairs to try and cut them, but his feet were tangled in too well.

“<Jeff, why don’t you ask Treecko for help?>” the Taillow trilled in question, flapping frantically.

“I don’t think so, we don’t need his –ow- help, just keep –ow- trying!” he adamantly replied, not realizing that his voice carried in the forest.

I turned my eyes towards them. Their eyes met with mine. I pretended that I was unaltered by the words, but really, the words sunk pretty deeply. I know Jeff was stubborn but he should know that I’d be always willing to help him. I let the words slide off my back as much as I could. I closely eyed the twig that was resting in my mouth. I took it out and inspected it before closing my eyes. What was wrong with Jeff? How can a girl change someone so much? I want him to be like he was when we first met… when he actually seemed to enjoy my company. When will he be normal?

I thought about when we were traveling from Littleroot to Petalburg. Those were awesome but that damned city changed it. I let out a sharp grunt from my nostrils and turned my eyes back.

“<Could you talk any louder?>” Corphish whispered to Jeff.

Daedalus gave a nod to me, in indication to help them. I responded with a disagreeing shake of the head. He pressed his wings together in a pleading manner. I turned away, uninterested.

“<Corphish, get over here!>” Daedalus chirped. Corphish scuttled up onto Jeff’s right shoulder. The Taillow continued to quietly peep instructions, “<Put one of your legs in Jeff’s ear so he won’t hear us.>”

“<Ew, no! I don’t know where that ear has been!>” Corphish complained.

“<Oh just do it, you yellow-belly!>” Daedalus coerced, irritated.

“<Fine, but I’ll have you know that my underbelly is a very pretty, pale, ‘yellow mist’ color, thank you very much!>” Corphish scoffed, putting an orange leg in Jeff’s ear.

“Hey, Corphish, get your foot out of my ear!” Jeff told him.

“<Sorry, I thought your earlobe was a shoe horn,>” Corphish replied, keeping his foot in there. Then he ordered, “<Quick, Featherhead, say what you’re going to say!>”

“<Go over to Treecko and tell him to help us and say I’ll give him my next meal in return.>”

“Corphish, if your foot gets stuck in there too…”

I briefly glanced over to watch the ridiculous antics of Corphish and Daedalus. Normally I might have been slightly amused by this scene… but not now. I was too busy thinking about how Jeff changed and what I could do to get him back to normal. I shut my eyes again. I felt a familiar sensation in my tail.

It’s going to rain soon.

My tail always did that. Whenever it was about to rain I got that preemptive feeling. It was both a blessing and a curse. I was able to prepare for the upcoming weather but the anticipation for the rain dampened my spirits before the actual showers could dampen my twig.

“<Fine,>” Corphish said before being picked up and placed on the ground by Jeff. Corphish heard the unmistakable scuttle of Corphish coming towards me, I had my eyes closed. I didn’t bother listening to the two pokemon’s conversation.

“<Hey Gr…>” Corphish began to greet me. I immediately shot open my eyes and gave him a glare that chilled Corphish to his soul. He knew not to ever call me that and I wasn’t going to let him forget it. Corphish, who now feared for his life, hastily corrected himself. “<…eecko. Grieco. Richard Grieco was great in 21 Jump Street, wasn’t he?>” he said in a very unsmooth manner.

“<What do you want, Corphish?>” I asked him, exasperated.

“<Can you please help Daedalus out of Jeff’s hair; he says he’ll give you his next meal.>”

“<Why should I?>” I sassily responded.

Corphish blinked twice “<…for the reason I JUST told you.>” Annoyed, I closed my eyes and continued to chew on my twig. Corphish began to walk back to Daedalus and Jeff. He stopped upon my words, “<Fine.>” Before he knew it, he felt my green tail hit him in the back. Corphish went flying towards Daedalus. He hit the bird pokemon and the scalp of Jeff’s head. The Taillow went sailing out of Jeff’s hair, taking several strands of hair with him. Corphish landed upside down, Jeff was knocked over, but Daedalus managed to recover from the hit in the air and remain airborne.

“<Thanks, T-cko,>” Daedalus called, before flying off to say farewell to his friends.

“ARGH, DAMNIT!” Jeff shouted, holding his aching head.

Corphish looked up at Jeff with an innocent face before glaring at me. I let out a snort with a smug grin.

Jeff scowled at me. I knew this smug grin pissed him off to no end. I could tell that he wanted to drive his knee into my head, but he always forgave it. It was frustratingly cool AND lovable.

The pain had set off Jeff’s last nerve. Jeff countered the pain with a sharp yell, “What the hell was that, Treecko?!”

“<What? They said ‘free Daedalus’ so I did,>” I replied, hiding a malicious smile.

“You didn’t have to hit Corphish into us!”

“<Well apparently I did!>”

“That’s it, Treecko! I respect your love of independence and your loner tendencies, but this is ridiculous! You have to draw the line somewhere; you can’t go around doing WHATEVER you want!”

“<And why not? Don’t we all have a right to? I mean, you can go around catching us pokemon on a whim! We’re entitled to at least some freedom or else we’d might as well be caged animals!>” I shot back in a way that I knew would burden his conscience.

I watched as those words hit Jeff’s already heavy guilt, hard. He began to speak in a quieter, more empathetic tone. “I see what you’re saying Treecko, but just tone it down a little, please?”

“<Maybe, maybe not,>” I replied. I was now being difficult purely for the sake of being difficult. I really shouldn’t have been but I had to prove my point.

“Treecko…when I lose my patience…my hand tends to reach for one of my empty pokeballs, and when I get one of those in my hand I automatically point it at the nearest pokemon…” Jeff explained in a soft, but threatening, tone.

A chill went up my spine. Was he serious? He wouldn’t do that after all of this… would he? “<You wouldn’t!>” I answered with a hurt scowl.

He knows how much I hate that damned prison, to even BLUFF using that is too far! As long as the thing remained in his hands the chills remained to go through my body.

Jeff nodded, strongly, and enlarged the red and white pokeball, not daring to show weakness in what I initially thought was his bluff.

I retorted with fervor, “<You can confine me to that pokeball…but that would make you a hypocrite and a liar. You’d also have to face the lonesome road, without your beloved Kristie, who is probably asleep next to Alan right now, so I hope you’re ready to fayeayeay...>” I then trailed off. Before I could finish the word “face”, I had realized what I had been saying.

Man, I’m an idiot…

The Kristie incident was still fresh in his mind and I tossed it about as if were a pinecone. I studied Jeff’s appalled and betrayed expression. I knew that I had crossed the line.

Meanwhile, Corphish was shifting in his spot, frantically jutting his head between the two arguers, uncomfortably. “<Oh… my… Arceus! I think there’s a Golem crushing me because I couldn’t be any more stuck between a rock and a hard place!>”

I really didn’t mean to say that.

I walked apologetically towards him. I stumbled backwards in shock when he lightly smacked me up the side of my twig-loving head. It was just hard enought to get the point across. I withstood the anger-induced blow and bit my lip. I saw his hand shaking while he retracted it. My mouth was left hanging open while I fingered the red hand mark.

Did he just… hit me?

Although I was mentally hurt by the action, I knew I deserved it and more. But still… he HIT me. JEFF hit me. Tears began to fill my eyes but none made it past the ducts… I wouldn’t let them. With a new sense of fear I backed away from him. I looked at Corphish who didn’t even make a joke to break the tension; all he did was stare in shock. I jutted my head around.

What should I do?

Should I run? Run away from the situation and come back when things have cooled?

Should I approach Jeff? What if he struck me again?

Should I retaliate? I couldn’t do that. Not even if I wanted to.

Would he apologize? Did he feel bad about hitting me? Would he do it again? Did he still value me as a friend?


I held my reddened face and turned around, trying to collect myself.

I took a hard swallow and turned back around. I would do my first line of defense. If this didn’t work… then I don’t know what’s next. My usually calm words shook as I spoke in an unthreatening way. “<Jeff…look, I’m…>” I attempted to apologize, but he cut me off.

“No! You’re right!” he retorted.

I almost flinched; worried that he’d strike me again. My heart was racing and my feelings were almost pouring out of my throat.

“You were right about Daedalus’ plan, you were right about Kristie, you’re right about being alone! So you made your point. Now go bugger off you stubborn, little, smug reptile! Go be…free!” he said with frustration. Jeff turned away from us and lay sideways on the forest bed.

It was like I had been kicked in the teeth. I stood there, devastated. Did he really want me gone? I think the slap confirmed that. I walked towards him a step but then stopped. My face scrunched when I turned defiantly towards the forest.

I knew this journey was too good to be true.

I didn’t want to lose a friend over me being as stubborn as a Tauros… as well as acting like an overall prick. I walked six feet into the forest and slumped sadly behind a tree. I’d might as well go to sleep. Maybe this would blow over later.

For lack of anybody else, I tightly squeezed my tail for warmth. Thoughts burdened my brain and heart as I went to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Screams.

I opened my eyes to hear screams and battle yells coming from below me, all around. I looked upwards; I could only look upwards. I saw the dizzying trunk of a massive tree tower, as if a ladder to the moon and stars. Large, lush branches jutted out from the trunk, making an immense canopy.

I couldn’t move; it was as if I was tied to the branch I was on. I could see fellow Treeckos jumping down on branches and crawling on all fours towards and past me, as if I wasn’t there. Below I could hear the yells of humans and Treeckos alike. Preceding the cries of my brethren was an electrostatic zap, while the familiar thumps of our tails and the slices of blades came before the human’s yells.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see a bright orange gleam in the night. I tried to move but still couldn’t.

“<They’ve got the head Sceptile!>” I heard the sharp cry of a Grovyle yell.

I took notice of the raspy, nasally cry of a Sceptile, although I could not see him, “<Velox! You’re in charge! You and the rest defend that tree with your lives! Don’t let these filthy brutes take our home!>” The voice called as it slowly got farther away. The Grovyle let out a massive, frustrated howl and the cries of humans became more frequent.

This all seemed so familiar. I needed to help them.

I could see smoke rise from beneath me. I could see the fire grow higher. I struggled to move. I cringed and tried to call out while the heat from the burning element numbed my skin. It was torturous. I felt as if I should dead any second, but it just didn’t come fast enough. I squirmed in my place when I knew the bottom of the branch I was on began to burn. Sweat dropped from my body. I knew the fire would touch me at any second.

Why wasn’t anyone helping me?

It was like the walls of a room were closing in on a pokemon with claustrophobia. The anticipation wrenched my insides around until what was left must have only been a jumble of organs tied together like a ball of yarn.

I had to get out of here. Something was going to happen…I could feel it.

I heard a familiar, deep, human’s voice. “But why are you helping me? You don't know me!”

Where have I heard that before? The voice continued, but in a different tone as if it was said at a different occasion. “You didn’t have to find me to give this back! I was perfectly capable…”

The voice became faster and more frequent in its intervals.

“Ok, so now the poison will only eat away at my leg.”

“If you’re as stubborn as I am, we’re going to be in big trouble.”

The voice became more rapid, harsher, and it boomed from all around me.

“All that time I waited for you and you just let yourself be captured?”

“Damnit, Treecko, stop it! It’s over!”

“Oh sure, laugh it up.”

“Ok…we’ll go your way.”

“Tell that to yourself when you’re surrounded by a group of fire type pokemon.”

“You say that because you’re the only one of your species in this general area! You don’t have to compete for women! You probably take and leave as you please...like Alan would.”

“Now I see what Professor Birch means with his stubbornness and independence.”

“Oh, shut up.”

The voices engulfed me and repeated themselves with overwhelming tempo, gradually getting louder.

They stopped.

The last thing said was a booming sentence. “Now go bugger off you stubborn, little, smug reptile! Go be…free!”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My eyes shot open. I felt either dried tears or perhaps dew crusted on the corners of my eyes. Chances were that it was the former option.

Jeff had woken me up with a soft nudge. I must have shifted several feet away from where I fell asleep, in my sleep. Jeff looked at me with sympathetic eyes. He must have known that I had a rough sleep so he decided to spare me the nightmare.

I have to get out of here.

I looked upwards and saw a different tree. The darkness of the sky competed with the coming sunrise. Right now the darkness was still winning as everything was still black. I got to my feet and walked over to Jeff and the sleeping Corphish. It had seemed that Taillow was still gone. If he was ever coming back was beyond me. Jeff was crouched over a small fire, boiling an insta-heat cup of noodles. He didn’t acknowledge me; he had the white vines of a white, music emitting device in his ear. I lightly pulled the things out of his ear. The sad sounding song from the earphones began to play loudly on the ground; I had no idea how to stop them so I continued saying what I was trying to say.

“<…Jeff? I need to talk to you,>” I said with remorseful quietness.

He remained silent, facing away from me.

Oh, brother I can’t I can’t get through.


“<Jeff, please hear me out…>” I continued, talking over the song.

All he did was lower his head and prod at the scorching coals of the fire.

I’ve been trying hard to reach you ‘cause I don’t know what to do.


I backed away from him and sighed. The clouds smothered over the pink sunrise. A light shower began to pour. The dispersed rain droplets hit around our campsite.

I’m sorry.

Oh, brother I can’t believe it’s true.


This is it.

I tried to move around Corphish, but I accidentally kicked one of his pincers. He woke up with a jolt.

“<Is it time for Baywatch?!>” he yelled in a nonsensical manner. He looked around and sighed, “<Oh… what are you doing, T-Cko?>”

“<I’m leaving,>” I replied, firmly.

I’m so scared about the future and I want to talk to you.


“<Shouldn’t I at least call our divorce lawyer first?>”

Not amused, I began to turn to walk into the dark forest. I looked back at Jeff. Jeff turned an eye to the action.

I had screwed up.

Oh, I want to talk to you.

“You’re leaving? But…but…” Jeff stammered.

“<You did tell me to leave, didn’t you?>”

Jeff was at a loss for words. Rain became more frequent and the drops bigger.

“I can’t understand…” he replied in pure shock.

You can take a picture of something you see.


“<I’ll be fine. You don’t deserve the pain that I was inflicting upon you. I’m sorry… goodbye, Jeff.>”

“I don’t know what you’re saying!” he tried to explain, beginning to panic.

“<YOU DID TELL ME TO… >” I attempted to reiterate.

Obviously picking up on the fact that I was reiterating my earlier words, he yelled in frustration, “I MEAN I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU! ALL I HEAR IS TREE CKO CKO TREE TREECKO!” He collapsed to his knees and held his forehead in what must have been head splitting frustration.

I could see what was the remainder of Jeff’s soul shatter.

My jaw dropped.

…He can’t hear me? But why?! I wasn’t saying anything complex! Was it because I…

In the future, where will I be?


I stared in shock at my former pal. I wanted to go and comfort him… try to help him… be with him… but I could already feel my legs running in the other direction.

Why did you do that? Because he hit you. He told you to leave!

You can climb a ladder up to the sun.


I couldn’t handle what I had just put my friend through, so I ran.

Just keep running.

Or write a song nobody has sung or do…something that’s never been done.


“<Wait, T-cko! Come back! Treecko!>” Corphish began to run after me.

I could also hear the heavy steps of Jeff.

“<Treecko, please! Come back!>”

Don’t look back.

I couldn’t let myself look back even if I wanted to. The unmistakable pounding of Jeff’s feet in the grass grew louder and closer. Corphish lagged far behind. Jeff was running along right beside me. He leapt over a large root protruding from the forest bed. He let out a pained grown before falling flat on his face; he had been running so fast to keep up with me that the speed that he fell with gave him no time to brace the impact. He went from standing to prone in a matter of seconds. I stopped running and slowly neared my friend. He was sprawled on his stomach so that his face was buried in his arms and moss. I noticed that his shoe was one meter behind him. His sock was soaked with ruby blood. In the center of the fresh blood was a golden badge; the sharp chevron of the award was lodged in and jutting out his right foot. The badge, shining in the moonlight, dug deep into his sole… but I think that it was the least of his worries.

Should I help him? Does he want my help? Is he ok?

Are you lost or incomplete?


I ran. Like a coward I ran from my friend. I ran and hid behind a tree many meters away. I looked back at Jeff, who still had his face buried in his arms. I watched Jeff, who lay there in his sorrow, probably wondering ‘where did it all go wrong?’.

You’re pathetic, Treecko. You’re no friend of Jeff. You don’t deserve to have friends.

Do you feel like a puzzle? You can’t find your missing piece.


I tightly shut my eyes and stayed pressed against a tree. I used my eyelids as a dam for all the emotions that were building up inside. Corphish had caught up to Jeff and began to inspect him.

“<Jeff? Jeff?>”

I turned and saw a tear glint in Jeff’s darkened head. It was the only thing I could see from his shadow covered face.

The guilt and sadness that flooded me grew unbearable.

Tell me how…do you feel?


I watched the twig drop from his mouth to the ground, followed by a tear. A gust of wind blew through the forest. Corphish tried to encourage Jeff and ask where I went but Jeff either ignored or couldn’t comprehend him. He was lost in his own thoughts, unable to get out. Corphish walked away from Jeff to continue to follow me.

You’re leaving Jeff all alone. Abandoned.

Well, I feel like they’re talking in a language I don’t speak.


Nothing you can say can change it. Because of you nothing would be the same.

Nothing.

You destroyed him.


And they’re talking it to me.


Watching Jeff made my eyes begin to water. It was my fault that he was like this. That guilt and anger at myself created a massive ball that swelled in my head like a tumor. Why? Why did I have to be so stubborn?

Come on! Are you a Chikorita or are you a Treecko?! So calm down! Calm…Calm. Besides he’s a just a human. Why are you so sad about leaving a filthy, two faced, evil human?! They’re all alike. You’ve seen it before!

Never. Never in my life had I cried. I wasn’t about to let myself breakdown now. My vision of him on the ground began to distort and blur. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat but I found myself choking on it, gasping for air and words. I never thought that withholding emotions would ever have to be this hard. I wanted to call out to him but I knew the action would be futile.


I began to run again. Corphish spotted me and raced to follow.

“<Treeck! Come back here… NOW!>”

I continued to run. I jumped aptly over roots and ducked under branches. I refused to look back, as I would only remember what it was that I was leaving behind.

So you can take a picture of something you see.


Why I ran I didn’t even know anymore. All that I knew was that I couldn’t go back. Corphish closely followed me, I could tell by the rapid sounds of legs on the ground.

Go back, pal. Don’t do what I did.

In the future where will I be?


“<You’d better slow down, you bastard! You can’t just leave!>”

I couldn’t even speak to defend myself; all I did was continue to dash.

You can climb a ladder up to the sun.


I knew I was far ahead of Corppy. He would hold this against me, but that was the least of my worries.

All of a sudden I could feel wet, ball-like projectiles hit the back of my legs; the orbs exploded and threw me into a roll. I spiraled onto the ground.

Or write a song nobody has sung or do… something that’s never been done. Do… something that’s never been done.


I rolled over to get up but Corphish jumped on my chest. My jaw seared with pain when I felt his damp claw smash across my face. On the side of my face that was forced in the mud, I could feel a tear try to escape my eye. I quickly blinked it back.

You’re right Corphish; I’m not holding this against you. I shouldn’t leave. But I have to.

So you don’t know where you’re going and you want to talk?


“<Corphish, I…>”

THUD THUD.

Corphish brought his claws against my face two more times. My head was driven further into the mud. Although the rain fell hard on my face, I knew that two tears had poured from my eyes. I quickly shut my eyes and clenched my teeth.

Weak.

Yellow-belly.

Pathetic.

A disgrace.


Those tears were not from the pain or the fact that Corphish was hitting me. They were from the fact that I knew I was doing the wrong thing, I was leaving Jeff because after all that I did I couldn’t go back. I was running from my problems and leaving my best friend by himself. I allowed for three seconds of weakness.

And you feel like you’re going where you’ve been before?


I stared at the twig in my mouth and subconsciously allowed two more tears to flow from my eyes. Keeping my eyes shut, I growled and continued to stick my finger in hole of the leaking dam. If I let this trickle of emotions to continue, the dam would explode, and I would be engulfed... never to resurface to normalcy.

“<What the hell do you think you’re doing?>” Corphish yelled at me, rain dripping off his shell and onto my face. He clamped his claws on my shoulder, keeping my head in the muddy ground.

“<I… I’m leaving,>” I explained.

“<You can’t leave; we both know it! So swallow your pride, Kristie!>”

“<What?!>”

“<Yeah that's right, you stubborn wood gecko, you’re no better than her! Right now you’re the most important thing to him and you’re about to take that away with one action!>”

The words had hit hard, but I knew he was right.

“<I’m worse than her; she didn’t even know that Jeff liked her, but I know that we are… were best friends. I can’t go back after what happened.>”

“<Yes you can! GO BACK YOU COWARD… or are your tails too far between your legs to do so!?>”

You’ll tell anyone who’ll listen but you feel ignored.


“<I CAN’T!>” I yelled, shoving him off of me. His claws tore the flesh on my shoulders as he was pushed off. I began to run away from Corphish again.

He didn’t have any idea how hard this was… but it was something I had to do…for Jeff’s sake. The reasons clouded my head like an electrical storm, zapping all light and clouding good judgment.

I tore the twig from my mouth and placed the mouthpiece in the mud covered ground; it stuck upwards like a beacon. I stared at the accessory that I carried with me for years. I remembered the day I had taken it… and every day up to today. Every argument, every laugh, and every moment. One final tear escaped my guard, although my face remained unaltered and serious. It trickled off of my nose and landed beside the twig. Corphish began to catch up with me so I ran off. And with the twig, I left my heart and soul with it.

Emptiness… more empty than I had previously felt. When the leak in the dam stopped, so did the river which flowed. It was barren.

I have to get out of here.

Nothing’s really making any sense at all?

Let’s talk

Let’s talk…

Let’s talk

Let’s talk…


---------------------------------------

Daedalus soared in the cool breeze, pivoting around trees. The rain drops hit his feathers and rolled off. He didn’t seem to mind the rain so much as the his mission. He took a hard left and landed in a large oak canopy. Five Taillows swarmed onto the branches around him, creating a circle.

“<Daedalus? Is it really you?!>” one of the Taillows chirped in excitement.

“<We were sure that damned human had you!>” trilled another.

Daedalus cleared his throat before replying. “<Yes, Gallus, it’s really me,>” he replied in a forced smile through his sadness. His grin faded before his next words. “<The human… Jeff… DID get me, Ornithos. That’s why I’m here.>”

This statement caused a storm of chirps to be unleashed.

“<Please! Please settle down!>”

“<You’re not actually going! You’re here to hide, right?!>” the Taillow named Gallus squawked in hope and denial.

Daedalus looked guiltily down at his claws. Rain dripped off his head and slid down to his beak. The face said it all.

“<I’m sorry.>”

“<But you can’t leave! You’re our best friend and the only one who knows what the hell to do!>” another Taillow tweeted in protest.

“<What if the Spearows come back?!>” asked Ornithos.

“<Struthios will make a great leader in my place! You guys are all tough… you can fight them off with no problem. I’ve seen you do it before. You were all brave and we came out triumphant… thanks to looking out for one another…>” Daedalus encouraged, but his voice began to be interrupted by tears. Fortunately the rain also washed away his tears but still he turned his head away.

“<Besides, I promise I’ll come back whenever I can. The human I’m with is actually very nice and he lets us do whatever we want; he’s not controlling and doesn’t make us battle until we drop. I can assure that if I wanted to come back to visit, he’d let me and he’d probably come, too! I’m sure he’d want to meet all of you!>” Daedalus reassured through his tears.

Sadness filled the tree canopy. The rain seemed to pour heavier on them.

“<I wish you didn’t have to go,>” quietly chirped Struthios.

“<Don’t be afraid, I’ll return. If the Spearows overrun you or if you guys want company… come and find us. We won’t be far.>”

“<Goodbye, Daedalus. You’ll always be the best leader we’ve ever had.>”

They all exchanged in a large final embrace before Daedalus turned his back to them.

“<I’ll be back…>” Daedalus quietly whispered. Daedalus flapped his wings and jumped from the large branch. He began to fly away into the rain.

“<Ok, boys!>” ordered Struthios. The five Taillows put their wings to their foreheads in a salute and, in unison, chirped, “TAAIIIILLLOOOW.”

Daedalus looked back at the final salute while flying, tears leaving his eyes and streaming in the wind. He left his friends behind him.

“<I promise… I’ll be back.>”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Corphish panted to keep up with me, the long-legged wood gecko. All of a sudden, I stopped dead in my tracks. A faint flap of wings was heard. It became louder. I guessed that it was Daedalus coming back from his friends. Only the red and white of Daedalus’ chest could be seen moving in the rainy, night sky. The red and white stopped moving and sat on a branch above us.

“<Corppy? T-cko? What’s going on? I got back to where we set up camp; you two were gone and Jeff wasn’t talking! He seemed really torn up about something,>” chirped Daedalus in an accusing manner.

“<I’m leaving!>” I replied.

“<What?>” he trilled in disbelief.

“<Treeck and Jeff had a bit of a disagreement. Some words were exchanged and some lovable Corphishes were made very uncomfortable. Now T-cko here wants to pack up his tail and leave!>”

“<That’s ridiculous, Treecko! You can’t just leave us over one argument! It couldn’t have been that bad!>” Daedalus insisted.

I gave him a look. “<Last night he told me to leave. And, today, when I told him I was leaving… something happened to him… he can't understand us anymore...>”

“<Ok, so he was PMSing, everyone has bad days! It happens!>”

“<I’m going. It’s best that I respect at least ONE of his commands,>” I muttered, heavy heartedly.

“<If you aren’t going to stay for Jeff, at least stay… for the kids!>” coerced Corphish. He put on a sad face, and placed his claw around Daedalus’ shoulder.

I put on a solemn grin, closed my eyes, and shook my head.

“<Tell Jeff…I’m sorry,>” I told them, when I pushed by them they both looked at each other and nodded.

“<If you’re leaving, I’m leaving!>” Corphish blurted, walking to my side.

“<I’m not staying here alone with him! No offense to Jeff.>”

“<What? You guys can’t leave!>”

“<And why not?! You get to!>” Daedalus had a point there.

“<If you leave, Jeff is going to be there all alone, and especially after that Kristie incident. That will be overwhelming for him. Who knows what he might do?>” Corphish added.

“<You two take care of him!>”

“<Look, Treeck!>" Corphish began, "<You were there from the start! You were his first pokemon, his first friend on this travel. You were always there for him. You battled for him. You bled for him. He bled for you! You were there when Kristie broke his heart. Afterwards you were the one who tried to pick up the pieces. We STILL need you to pick up the pieces. HE needs you. You and we all know that he doesn’t want you gone.>”

Daedalus looked shocked at Corphish’s strong words. He decided to follow up. “<As much as you think you can’t go back, you CAN! We all can have fresh starts. Just explain the situation to him and I know he’ll understand. In fact, when you go back he’ll be so happy to see you; you probably won’t even need to talk to him! So come back with us!>”

“<I CAN’T!>” I roared in defiance.

It wasn’t that simple! I couldn’t just go back and act like nothing happened!

“<Why? Why can’t you go back when you have every reason to?! Is it that you don’t want to go back with your tail between your legs? Or do you WANT to be alone?!>” coerced Daedalus.

“<Well I… yes... I DO want to be alone! Jeff slapped me for Arceus’ sakes! I know I deserved it, but I still can’t believe he actually went through with it! I mean, he hit ME, his best friend and first pokemon! I don’t even think he feels bad about it!>”

“<Look, he was angry! It was an impulse! Of course he feels bad about it!>” the two pokemon chimed in together.

“<It’s not that he hurt me… well it’s not that I was hurt. It IS that HE hurt me. But, it’s also that he scolded me with the strike… you just don’t… I don’t know!>” Treecko tried to explain his point of view in a volley of clumsy stammers.

“<Just come back with us!>” Daedalus pleaded.

I sighed and looked off into the dawn through the beautiful, lush trees. “<… I can’t face him.>”

Corphish was becoming annoyed. “<Look, Treeck! We can either do this the easy way or the hard way!>”

They just weren’t listening!

I shot him a glare. “<… Do it the hard way.>”

With those words, I started to try to run, but found myself pinned on the ground in seconds flat. I tried to struggle to get free, but Corphish had clamped down on my tail and Daedalus had wrapped his talons around my hands.

“<Now we’re going home whether you like it or not!>”

Corphish led the way back. Daedalus had lifted me off the ground; my hands were still in his talons. Corphish still clamped my tail, making sure I didn’t try anything else. Unable to do anything, I felt ridiculous. I tried to wiggle my hands free from the claws but it was pointless. Although he had trouble flying my weight, Daedalus had excellent grip and he wasn’t about to let go.

Why don’t I just do things the easy way? Why must it always be the hard way?

We could see the smoke from the campfire. Jeff was in a squatting position, looking into the burning coals of the fire. Before Jeff knew we were behind him and that I was being forced against my will to come back, Daedalus released me from his hold, dropping me to the ground. Corphish was still skeptical of freeing me, but he did so with a whisper. “<Try anything… and next time I’ll clamp your big head instead…>” He made a snapping motion with his claws. I shot him a cold look and began to near the sulking human.

I approached Jeff and crawled onto his shoulder, just to show that I wasn’t completely angry at him. He looked up with a sleep deprived face and nodded. “Hi, Treecko.”

I walked up to him and placed a hand on his back. I said, “<Hi Jeff,>” but I could see in his eyes that all he heard was pokespeech. Dismayed, I just patted his back.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking… I still can’t understand you… or what you’re saying, but you can understand me.”

Corphish and Daedalus gathered around, also. Jeff let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you and Taillow said; about being taken away from those who you care about to travel and fight; when I don’t even do the fighting myself. It’s unfair to you guys and it makes me seem like I have superiority over you. I’m not better than you guys! I want to make it clear that I value each of you as equal to me; I mean you’re all intelligent creatures, capable of feelings and speech! Well now the bounds are off; Daedalus, you can go back and lead your friends. Corphish, you can go back to you lake and woo female Corphish with your… dancing. And Treecko, pal, you can go back to your tree. None of you should feel pressured to be here. I thank all of you for sticking around as long as you have,” he exclaimed with a shaky sadness.

We were all shocked by the offer. Corphish broke the long pause with a joke. “<Why would go back there when I could get rejected by new and different Corphish? At least then it would not be as awkward as it would if I had to ask the same girls, again.>”

Jeff looked at Corphish. I think he got the gist from the light-heartedness that Corphish was saying that he was staying.

The Taillow was currently fence sitting. The indecision tore at him. He finally gave a definite chirp. “<I appreciate the offer, Jeff, but I think I’ll stay with you.>”

Jeff blinked, unsure what he had said. Only time would tell him.

Jeff was silent for a minute and then looked at me. Our eyes locked as we tried to read what the other was thinking. The deep exchange lasted many moments. Both of us waited for the other to say something, since my answer depended on what Jeff said, but I didn’t know what he was waiting for. Jeff gulped and broke the silence, “What about you, Treecko? Do you want to stick around or do you want to take the lone road?” Jeff subconsciously stopped breathing while he nervously awaited my answer.

A small wave of optimistic relief hit me. Still, something ate away at me. I breathed a sigh and answered, “<Jeff…you couldn’t pry me away from here if you tried. Besides, what’s the point of being alone if you’re by yourself?>”

To reiterate that I was staying, I playfully punched and proceeded to hug his head. Something that I was sure I would never do again. Daedalus and Corphish joined in the hug.

He beamed and hugged us tightly back. I felt two drops of water hit my shoulder. I wasn’t sure if they were his tears or rain… but I was sheltered from the rain.

“You guys are great friends, you know that?” The other two grinned modestly, while I nodded and placed my slender arms behind my head.

“<I’d hate to break this up, but what do you say we get moving?>” Daedalus told us. Jeff got to his feet with me still on his shoulder. I jumped back onto the ground. I felt like things still weren’t right between Jeff and me. I had a feeling he felt the same way.

“But what about your flock, Daedalus?” Jeff asked morosely, not expecting a response he could comprehend.

“<I’ve got a new flock now…>” he replied in profound thought. After staring off for awhile, he shook his head and continued to talk. “<Right-o, Jeff, I’m going to talk to my flock one last time. I’ll meet you on the outside of Petalburg Forest!>” The Taillow twittered before flying into the dawn sky.

“<Hey Daedalus? I need a favor… which I’ll return someday… in fact you can have the next meal you offered to me back,>” I explained with a hint of guilt in my voice.

“<Sure, T-Cko, what is it?>”

“<I need you to go get my…>” I told him but was interrupted by a human’s words which struck worry into my stomach.

“Treecko… what happened to your twig?”

As calmly as I could I made gestures saying that I was running and then I fell and it must have fell out. “Treecko cko tree tree?” I asked, motioning for Corphish to agree with me. Corppy quickly nodded. Daedalus nodded at me, knowing what I was going to ask, and took to the air. We watched the tiny swallow pokemon fly off. Jeff looked at us frantically.

“What’s going on?! Where’s he going?! Is Daedalus leaving?!” Jeff grilled, wide eyed.

Corppy looked at him and shuck his head, confirming, “<No.>” Corphish pointed at me, placed a crude stick in his mouth, and then pointed at Daedalus, who was getting further and further away.

In relief, with Corphish now on his backpack and me walking behind him, Jeff began to walk through the forest in the direction that Daedalus had previously pointed him towards.

I was relieved that he was willing to take me back. I didn’t show any of my emotions though; he knew how I felt so I’m not going to show it in a public display of affection! … Or did he know how I felt?! He still couldn’t understand me! Was that permanent?! What if he thinks I’m still angry? Well I kind of am… but still! DOES he want me back or does he just feel obliged to take me along?

As those thoughts raced through my apathetic mind, we walked through the dimly-lit forest of Petalburg. I watched branches shift over head and thought. I thought about that dream I had. I thought about how I almost threw all of this away. I thought about what I was leaving behind. I thought about the risk that I was taking. Most importantly, I thought about whether or not to stay.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...continued in next post.
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  #63    
Old October 7th, 2007, 03:42 PM
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...continued
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Daedalus rocketed around trees, flying as fast as he could. He flew through the forest and began to circle around the area where he had met up with Treecko and Corphish. He landed on the earth and examined the terrain.

“<Hmm, tracks are leading from that direction… it’s probably around there. How am I supposed to find a single twig in the whole bloody forest?>”

The Taillow began to walk and he closely scanned the ground.

“<Most of all of the twigs have been washed away in the storm!>” He continued to follow the water flooded footprints and drag marks. Up ahead, he saw a twig jutting straight out of the ground. It had the same straight main stem with a second, smaller branch coming out of the middle, diagonally. Daedalus went to inspect it closer. There was dried, brown blood encrusted on the part where Treecko’s mouth would go.

“<Taurus’ eye!>” Daedalus grinned, picking the twig up in a claw before flying towards his flock’s roost.

“<I really don’t see what’s so big about this twig…>” thought Daedalus while he swerved around branches.

Daedalus hastily flew towards the tree where he last saw his flock. He landed on a thick branch and looked around the tree. It was barren. Daedalus let out a sigh and he hung his head.

“<I’m gonna miss this place.>”

Just then a dark blue and white wing came from behind him and covered his face.

“<Guess who?>” a playful trill asked.

Daedalus playfully thrust his head backwards colliding heads with the familiar voice. His head was released from feathery blindfold.

Without turning around, Daedalus grinned and replied. “<Hello, Struthios. Your guard is down as usual.>”

The Taillow flew in front of him and smiled, rubbing his own face. “<Or YOUR guard is always UP as usual.>”

They grinned and slapped wings together in a high-five like fashion.

“<It’s good to see you Struthios, where are the others?>”

“<I sent them out on border patrol. We recently had a Spearow infiltrate out lines.>”

“<Good thinking! See? I knew you’d be a good leader!>” Daedalus insisted, patting his buddy’s shoulder. “<I… I’m sorry about earlier. I was too abrupt and I was a bit too emotional, forgive me; it wasn’t very leader-like and I didn’t want to leave you guys like that.>”

“<It’s ok, Daedalus. We all felt the same way... I speak for all of us when I say we’re really sorry we turned tail when you got hit by that lizard’s attack. It wasn’t very comrade-like of us,>” replied Daedalus’ close friend.

“<No! It’s ok. You guys have saved me from life or death situations, you don’t have to be sorry for me getting captured by a human!>”

Struthios sadly looked at the branch below. “<How bad is it REALLY?>” he said with a grimace, expecting the worst.

“<It’s actually much better than I thought. The human is nice, although he seems as depressed as a Staraptor on rainy day. The pokemon are friendly… I guess.>”

“<Really?! Don’t you remember what happened over at Route 101?! All of the pokemon, including Spearows, came either here or Route 103! The over-population caused us to watch our territories all day and all night!>”

“<Yeah, I know. But Jeff, the human, isn’t like those ones. He cares about us, believe it or not!>”

“<It’s going to be hard without you. We’re all going to miss you. You were our best leader,>” Struthios began to snivel.

“<Now you’re their best leader.>” Daedalus lightly gave an encouraging punch with his wing. “<Struthios, you’ve always been one of my best soldiers. I know you’ll do great and I promise you I will be back soon!>”

“<Thanks, Daedalus. Come back very soon. I’ll tell the others you were here.>”

Daedalus nodded and they exchanged an informal wing shake and a grin.

“<One more thing Daedalus… what’s with the twig in your claw?>”

Daedalus replied with a smirk, “<If I see any Spearows, I’ll beat them with it for you.>”

Struthios gave him a laugh and waved him off. “<Don’t forget what you said, Daedalus!>”

Daedalus nodded and took flight.

“<I won’t.>”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Many minutes later, I heard Jeff cry out, “We’re out!” I saw the seemingly infinite ocean of tree canopy end and I could finally see the blue sky. It’s not that I don’t like tree canopies, but I wanted to get out of that forest… for now.

We sat near the edge of the forest, waiting for Dae. I spotted a small, wooden house and dock. It stood over the water on four sturdy stilts. It must have been that Briney-guy’s house. From behind us, we heard a loud, continuous trill, from that of a Taillow. Jeff raised his elbow for Daedalus to land on. He flapped his wings to force himself to a slow before perching on Jeff’s arm; his claws dug softly into Jeff’s arm, who seemed to be unaffected by the action. The twig in beak, Daedalus passed the twig to me. Although it helped… I still didn’t feel whole.

“<Thanks. We’re even now.>”

“<No problem, Treeck,>” he replied.

“<It’s about time, Featherhead!>” Corphish stated, with an impatient irritation.

“<I’m glad to see you, too, Corppy. Now, let’s get going! So where are we going and why?>”

Corphish paused about the answer and replied, “<If I told you… I’d have to kill you!>” He didn’t want to be the one to break the news that we were going to the gym.

The two others rode on Jeff, down a tarmac pathway, which led to the beach. I still walked beside them, wary and uncomfortable. Since it was the break of dawn the beach was basically deserted, with the exception of the occasional jogger and pokemon who strolled in the sand. His feet sunk into the sand with each stride when he walked towards the dock. I watched the blue-green waves splash up against the stilts of the dock, creating a calming ocean mist. He walked, with heavy steps, up the wooden steps to the dock. Jeff walked up to the door and knocked.

“Hello? Is this Mr. Briney’s house?” Jeff said in an uncertain, deep voice.

“Why yes it is.” An older man in a yellow fisherman’s cap and overcoat carefully opened the door, inspecting the visitors. “I suppose you are here to be ferried across to Dewford or the beach at Slateport?”

“Yeah, I am. I’ve got money if you need it,” Jeff suggested, fiddling with the twig in the corner of his mouth.

“Oh no, that’s ok. I transport people and pokemon just for the sheer pleasure of sailing across the deep blue sea,” The man said merrily.

“I’d really feel a lot better if I paid you,” Jeff insisted.

“Really, it’s ok,” Mr. Briney said as a white bird, with blue stripes on its wings, landed on his shoulder. “Peeko and I do this not-for-profit,” he smiled, scratching the beady-eyed Wingull behind its ears.

The stubborn idiot.

“<Let it go, Jeff.>” I looked to him. “<And if you can’t do that, then slip it in the cabin of the boat as we leave.>” I knew that he hated receiving charity; I did too. Unfortunately all that he heard was “Treecko cko, tree.” That could have meant anything in his ears. I bit my lip in frustration.

Mr. Briney locked the door to his house and walked along the wooden log deck. At the end of the dock was a medium sized, white schooner; it had a long, blue stripe going along the side of it. I noticed Jeff quickly slide a few bills into Mr. Briney’s mailbox. Typical Jeff. I grinned to myself and waited for him to get on the boat.

Once we were on the wobbly boat, the other two climbed off of Jeff; I wandered to the aft of the ship, Corphish leaned against Jeff, who leaned against the metal guard rail surrounding the ship, and Daedalus took a perch on the front rail of the bow, as if making sure the direction of the boat was safe.

We sat in silence; the boat took off for Dewford City.

I rubbed the red mark on my face from when Jeff had hit me. The action replayed over and over in my mind: his hand striking me up the left side of face and the events following. I winced when I felt the mark. Or was it even there? No matter, the scar ran deeper than the few skin cells that the smack caused to ache. A chill went down my spine and I looked back at Jeff. I couldn’t help but wonder if our friendship was meant to last.

Because of you nothing would be the same.

Nothing.
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  #64    
Old October 7th, 2007, 05:03 PM
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Wow, that chapter was so long...and emotional. I love these kinds of stories.

I personaly think that kind of chapter would be better suted for the end...as a climactic twist, but I still loved it.

Spoiler:
I actually cried a little reading the chapter. Poor Treecko...and Jeff.


Spoiler:
I also have a good imaginaiton, so I can "put myself into the story", like I'm really there, watching the whole thing if you know what I mean.
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  #65    
Old October 7th, 2007, 09:29 PM
The Infinite Devil Machine
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I loved this chappy. It was really emotionally charged and it felt much more substantial than any other chapter you've written so far. Good job!
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  #66    
Old October 8th, 2007, 12:12 PM
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Okay, here is the review that you have been asking for for days! I said ten pages but I don't think that's going to work out, buddy. XD And I want a large chocolate chip cookie and a good review response for this, damnit!

Anyway, to begin, because I'm cool like that, I do have to say you've improved greatly since your first few chapters. When you asked me to beta the first chapter (I don't know if you ever got around to changing it, but whatever), I thought that I was reading a story written by an entirely different author because there was that big of a difference. The characters have always been magnificent, but your description has improved greatly, and so has your grammar, and you've managed to collect quite a few awesome fans on here and over at Serebii, aka the place that never loads. XP

And, to get this out of the way, I still noticed some errors. I’m not sure if I missed them in the beta or if you added them in at the last minute. You can slap me later . . .

Quote:
I know Jeff was stubborn but he should know that I’d be always willing to help him.
"Know" should be "knew".

Quote:
Corphish blinked twice “<…for the reason I JUST told you.>”
Period after "twice", "for" should be capitalized.

Quote:
He knows how much I hate that damned prison, to even BLUFF using that is too far!
"Knows" should be "knew".

Quote:
If this didn’t work… then I don’t know what’s next.
"Don't" should be "didn't", and "what's" should be "what would happen" or something.

Quote:
I know Jeff was stubborn but he should know that I’d be always willing to help him.
“I knew Jeff was stubborn” and “he should’ve known”.

Quote:
Corphish heard the unmistakable scuttle of Corphish coming towards me, I had my eyes closed.
I think the first “Corphish” should be “I”. >> Comma would also be better off as a semi-colon.


I must say this was a very well-written chapter. It was powerful and shows that not every trainer and their pokemon get along (which is rare to see), and when I was reading it the very first time, before you added anything we discussed, I seriously could not get my eyes away from the computer screen. The emotions from Treecko and everyone else were captured well, and some unexpected twists were added. Many things that happened were pretty realistic, which was good as well. I guess now would be a good time to point out some of my favorite lines/moments:

Quote:
What was wrong with Jeff? How can a girl change someone so much? I want him to be like he was when we first met… when he actually seemed to enjoy my company. When will he be normal?
This line struck me on a more personal note, because I can’t tell you how many people I know have changed because some girl/guy had transformed them into something nobody really liked. It goes along with the “realistic” things I mentioned earlier.

Quote:
I knew this journey was too good to be true.
This was a more powerful line that made me feel bad for Treecko; something great happened in his life and it was taken away before he fully got to enjoy it. Struck me on a personal note too..

Quote:
Obviously picking up on the fact that I was reiterating my earlier words, he yelled in frustration, “I MEAN I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU! ALL I HEAR IS TREE CKO CKO TREE TREECKO!” He collapsed to his knees and held his forehead in what must have been head splitting frustration.
The best twist in the entire chapter. XP This is going to make it so much more difficult for the four of them on their journey, and I can’t wait to see how you’ll have them deal with it, as well as whether or not Jeff’s ability to understand pokespeech is going to come back.

Quote:
“<It’s not that he hurt me… well it’s not that I was hurt. It IS that HE hurt me. But, it’s also that he scolded me with the strike… you just don’t… I don’t know!>” Treecko tried to explain his point of view in a volley of clumsy stammers.
A nice example of just being so damn confused and being at a loss of words when everything is going wrong.

Yupyup. XP I liked the entire chapter, but those were my favorites I suppose. I also have a question: Does Daedalus know that Jeff received his first badge yet? I just remembered Jeff didn’t want him to find out they went to the gym, and I’ve seen the badge mentioned, but not whether or not Daedalus knows yet.

Another thing you put into this chapter was the song. Have you noticed how totally ironic it is? O_o It’s called “Talk”, and Jeff lost his ability to talk with his Pokemon. I don’t think that was intentional but it worked. XD Anyway, I liked the lyrics a lot; they fit well into the chapter. I also liked how they didn’t come out of nowhere and you brought the iPod into the picture.

As far as length goes, I don’t think I’ve seen a chapter on PC go past one page in a very long time. So, kudos on that. There’s a whopping 25 and a half pages. O_O

Unfortunately, there’s still some things you could work on. Your least favorite part of the review. =[ No review is really a review without pointing these things out . . . I have noticed that you change from past tense to present tense a lot, but it doesn’t really distract from the story . . . Those commas and semi-colons are your worst enemy, too. Your repetition issue has improved, though, and there’s very few issues with that now. :o

Time to wrap this up, damnit. XD I had a fun time being your beta for this, and I’m glad to see that you’re dedicated in making this fic be the best it can be. So, keep it up and I look forward to your next chapter! =)
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  #67    
Old October 8th, 2007, 04:41 PM
Grovyle42(Griff8416)'s Avatar
Grovyle42(Griff8416)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Smasher View Post
Wow, that chapter was so long...and emotional. I love these kinds of stories.

I personaly think that kind of chapter would be better suted for the end...as a climactic twist, but I still loved it.

Spoiler:
I actually cried a little reading the chapter. Poor Treecko...and Jeff.


Spoiler:
I also have a good imaginaiton, so I can "put myself into the story", like I'm really there, watching the whole thing if you know what I mean.
Thanks! I'm really happy you liked it. Yeah I tried to put as much emotion into the chapter as I could. I'm flattered that it was tear-worthy. I also have a good imagination, but I wish mine was as deep as yours... maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. :p Anyways, I really appreciate the read and review. Thanks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beret View Post
I loved this chappy. It was really emotionally charged and it felt much more substantial than any other chapter you've written so far. Good job!
Thanks again! I'll try to live up to its standards.

Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
Okay, here is the review that you have been asking for for days! I said ten pages but I don't think that's going to work out, buddy. XD And I want a large chocolate chip cookie and a good review response for this, damnit!

Anyway, to begin, because I'm cool like that, I do have to say you've improved greatly since your first few chapters. When you asked me to beta the first chapter (I don't know if you ever got around to changing it, but whatever), I thought that I was reading a story written by an entirely different author because there was that big of a difference. The characters have always been magnificent, but your description has improved greatly, and so has your grammar, and you've managed to collect quite a few awesome fans on here and over at Serebii, aka the place that never loads. XP
I thought it was 10 words... hmm. I'll AIM you the chocolate chip cookie and the review response will follow.

I'm very happy to know that I have improved so much since my start. I'm considering rewriting my first chapters completely. Thanks for the comment of the characters and for noticing the improvements.

Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
And, to get this out of the way, I still noticed some errors. I’m not sure if I missed them in the beta or if you added them in at the last minute. You can slap me later . . .



"Know" should be "knew".



Period after "twice", "for" should be capitalized.



"Knows" should be "knew".



"Don't" should be "didn't", and "what's" should be "what would happen" or something.



“I knew Jeff was stubborn” and “he should’ve known”.



I think the first “Corphish” should be “I”. >> Comma would also be better off as a semi-colon.
Thanks for the point outs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
I must say this was a very well-written chapter. It was powerful and shows that not every trainer and their pokemon get along (which is rare to see), and when I was reading it the very first time, before you added anything we discussed, I seriously could not get my eyes away from the computer screen. The emotions from Treecko and everyone else were captured well, and some unexpected twists were added. Many things that happened were pretty realistic, which was good as well. I guess now would be a good time to point out some of my favorite lines/moments:
I'm happy that I managed to pull something original off and that I managed to enthrall you as much as I did.



Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
This line struck me on a more personal note, because I can’t tell you how many people I know have changed because some girl/guy had transformed them into something nobody really liked. It goes along with the “realistic” things I mentioned earlier.



This was a more powerful line that made me feel bad for Treecko; something great happened in his life and it was taken away before he fully got to enjoy it. Struck me on a personal note too..
The two lines were also two of my favorite lines.

The best twist in the entire chapter. XP This is going to make it so much more difficult for the four of them on their journey, and I can’t wait to see how you’ll have them deal with it, as well as whether or not Jeff’s ability to understand pokespeech is going to come back.



A nice example of just being so damn confused and being at a loss of words when everything is going wrong.



Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
Yupyup. XP I liked the entire chapter, but those were my favorites I suppose. I also have a question: Does Daedalus know that Jeff received his first badge yet? I just remembered Jeff didn’t want him to find out they went to the gym, and I’ve seen the badge mentioned, but not whether or not Daedalus knows yet.
No, Daedalus still doesn't know. Unless he saw the badge sticking out of Jeff's foot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
Another thing you put into this chapter was the song. Have you noticed how totally ironic it is? O_o It’s called “Talk”, and Jeff lost his ability to talk with his Pokemon. I don’t think that was intentional but it worked. XD Anyway, I liked the lyrics a lot; they fit well into the chapter. I also liked how they didn’t come out of nowhere and you brought the iPod into the picture.
I actually DIDN'T notice the irony until you just mentioned it (with the exception of one of the lines). It took a bit of effort to find the right song. Yeah if there's ever a song there's usually going to be a ways for it be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
As far as length goes, I don’t think I’ve seen a chapter on PC go past one page in a very long time. So, kudos on that. There’s a whopping 25 and a half pages. O_O

Unfortunately, there’s still some things you could work on. Your least favorite part of the review. =[ No review is really a review without pointing these things out . . . I have noticed that you change from past tense to present tense a lot, but it doesn’t really distract from the story . . . Those commas and semi-colons are your worst enemy, too. Your repetition issue has improved, though, and there’s very few issues with that now. :o
I actually like constructive crit. Haha, the comma axe needs to be sharpened, i agree. I'll work on those things.

Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
Time to wrap this up, damnit. XD I had a fun time being your beta for this, and I’m glad to see that you’re dedicated in making this fic be the best it can be. So, keep it up and I look forward to your next chapter! =)
Thanks for the extra long review and I hope that ypu'll keep betaing.
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Last edited by Grovyle42(Griff8416); October 8th, 2007 at 05:36 PM.
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Old October 15th, 2007, 08:55 PM
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Old October 16th, 2007, 07:22 AM
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Thanks, I like it too

Chapter 10 up and I also revamped chapter 1 and 2

Nobody Said It Was Easy

The ocean breeze blew around the sides of the water-bound vessel. Corphish was contently hanging over the side of the rails, watching the waves go by. Jeff was lying asleep on his back while Daedalus was slumbering on the resting human’s chest. Treecko was hanging on the rails of the boat’s bow. His liquid-barren eyes were fixed on the horizon, he seemed to be locked and lost in thought, as if his mind were a maze and he was at the dead center of it..

The ruffian pokemon was the only one of the gang who got a decent sleep last night, when Jeff was up moping, Treecko having nightmares, and Daedalus bidding farewell to his comrades. Refreshed, Corphish walked along the deck and opened Jeff’s backpack. He bottom upped the bag, releasing its contents on the ground. He looked at the scattered items and inspected each item carefully.

“<Food… food?>” he mumbled, searching though the contents for sustenance. He noticed one and a half potions, a day’s set of human clothes, five red and white spheres for capturing pokemon, a small metal pot used for cooking, a pokedex, and sunglasses which were surprisingly unbroken from the journey. He looked inside the pot to find only stew remains crusted on the bottom. Unfortunately, his claws were too thick to reach the scraps. He next eyed the potions and thought, “<Too bitter!>”

He continued to rummage through the bag, murmuring, “<Food food food food food.>” Under a green t-shirt he uncovered a plate of four sandwiches spilling out into the bottom of the bag. “<FOOD!>” Corphish took out the crushed sandwiches and placed them carefully on the green shirt which was now slathered with mustard. Corphish created a loud hammering with his claws on the deck in happiness of finding food.

Corphish hammered on Jeff and Daedalus’ heads with his claws to awaken them. They groaned from the rude awakening and held their heads with their hands and wings, respectably. Corphish raced over to Treecko to hit him to get his attention. Corphish began to swing his claw but Treecko turned around from his perch, caught the oncoming claw, and kicked Corphish to the side with a quick exchange from his flexible, green foot. Corphish skidded and hit the guard rail. Treecko shot him a look that simply said, “<Don’t do that again.>”

“<Thank you for that wake up call, Corppy, we appreciate it,>” groaned Daedalus, half sarcastically.

“What’s this about?” Jeff asked, still expecting to get an answer.

“Taiii! Looow taiiiloww low!” was the reply he received.

Jeff sighed as the grim reality returned; he couldn’t understand his pokemon. What had happened? He knew that creating bonds with your pokemon would make you understand them… Nurse Joy said he was lucky that he could understand them so quickly. Did fate take it back because of what he did to Treecko? Or did that part of his brain shut itself off because of the bonds that he had broken? Either way, he felt that he was to blame.

He shook himself out of his thoughts to see Daedalus staring at him blankly while vigorously pointing the food that Corphish had taken out using his wing and talon. Jeff nodded and went over to the picnic that was set up unfortunately on one of his favorite shirts. Corphish and Daedalus munched merrily on the two of the four sandwiches. Instead of complaining about his shirt, Jeff decided to take the “if you can’t beat ‘em then join ‘em” approach. He picked up a sandwich and began to satisfy his stomach, which was planning to implode on itself if it was not soon fed. He noticed the sandwich-less Treecko, leaning on the guard rail and staring into the horizon. Jeff put on a smile and warmly asked, “Hey, Treecko! There’s an extra sandwich here… why don’t you come and join us?”

Treecko briefly glanced at Jeff but then remained silent and continued to stare off.

Disconcerted, but not giving up, Jeff tried again. “Come on Treeck, it’s a good sandwich and you must be hungry!”

Treecko continued to look into the distance, not acknowledging Jeff’s heeds.

I guess some things never change,” Jeff thought, shaking his head.

The trio went back to eating their food. For a moment, Jeff closed his eyes. He imagined what it would have been like if Treecko actually came over and began to eat with them. He thought of what it would be like if Treecko never second guessed Jeff’s decisions and if he talked with others instead of having his thoughts be his company. Jeff tried as he may, but he couldn’t see Treecko… THIS Treecko… doing any such thing. He sighed and began to hate himself for thinking of wanting Treecko to change.

You can’t change who people or pokemon are and you shouldn’t, you selfish Weavile,” he thought, dismally. Corphish finished his sandwich before reaching for what would have been Treecko’s.

“Corphish… that’s Treecko’s food; you can’t eat that,” Jeff admonished him before he could bite down on the sandwich.

“<Why not? He doesn’t want it!>” Corphish explained. Jeff got the gist of what the Corphish said because he already knew the logical answer.

Jeff looked at the detached wood gecko and sighed. He looked back down to find the sandwich in Corphish’s mouth. Corphish smiled nervously, showing the remaining contents in his maw. Disgusted, Jeff and Daedalus turned away from the sight. Rummaging through the pile of his personal items which were strewn carelessly in a heap on the deck, Jeff found a zip lock bag filled full of mildly salted sunflower seeds.

Treecko was now standing on the side of the boat, mouth open. His abdominal muscles and his jaws flexed, as if he was trying to regurgitate something.

Jeff noticed this and quickly asked, “Treecko? Are you alright?!”

Treecko gave a quick nod and continued to frantically do what ever it was he was doing.

“Are you sure?! Are you choking?! You sick?!”

Treecko kept quickly trying to spit out whatever it was that he was trying to spit. It was no good. He dashed full speed over to Jeff and ripped the bag of seeds from his hand.

“What the-”

Treecko opened the bag and poured every single seed down his throat. He tried spitting again but it was no good. He fell to his hands and knees and coughed up some of the remaining sunflower seeds onto the deck.

“Treecko, what’s wrong with you?” Jeff asked, kneeling down beside him.

Treecko turned his head to Jeff in pure rage. He then jumped to his feet and jutted his head around in every direction, flexing his stomach and mouth.

What the hell is wrong with him?” Jeff thought to himself.

“<He looks like he’s been bitten by a Chimchar infected with the rage virus…>” Corphish half joked to Daedalus.

A wary Jeff began to approach Treecko. Treecko had a sneer of self-malice on. He tried to do what ever it was he was doing. In a frustrated rage, he pounded the side of the guard rail with his tail. The metal bar was badly bent as a result from the attack. Jeff backed off but then went in again. Treecko contracted his chest and yelled out the sharp, piercing yell.

“TREEEEEEEEEEECKOOOOO!!” With that battle cry, Treecko unleashed a furious barrage of bright green seeds from his mouth. Treecko held his ground but his head was forced around by the terrifying volley. The attack went beyond his control. The seeds were shot all around the boat. They ricocheted off the sides, the white floor, and the cabin. Corphish and Daedalus dove for cover. Jeff braced himself but remained standing. One rogue seed broke through the glass in the cabin and almost hit Mr. Briney in the head.

“Holy jumpin’ Moses!” Mr. Briney cried out from the cabin, hitting the floor. “Are we under attack?!” The unmanned boat took a sharp turn, but the sea captain stood back up and righted its course.

The sharp turn caused Jeff to stumble, but the wood gecko remained standing, stoically. Veins were pulsating in Treecko’s head; his eyes were wide and eyebrows creased in a passionate frenzy. The bullet seed’s line of fire raked along on boat until it finally made its way to Jeff. Treecko was so intent on the attack itself that he didn’t know what he was firing at. The seeds punched into him like a pistol firing acorns. He held his ground the best that he could but the attack was too strong to withstand. He flew backwards and his head collided with the metal rail.

Treecko didn’t notice; he just kept firing until he was physically exhausted. No more seeds were spat and Treecko collapsed to his knees. Treecko’s head was slumped downwards; he was panting and sweat soaked his face. Jeff slumped, motionless, against the guard rail; a steady flow of blood dripped from the side of his forehead. The crimson fluid dripped around his ear before following his sideburns down to his neck, starting to stain his green shirt.

“What in the blazes was that?!” a gruff voice called up from the captain’s cabin.

“<Treecko! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?! Why did you do that?!>” Corphish yelled, scuttling to the front of Treecko.

The exhausted yet infuriated wood gecko said nothing and continued panting.

“<Jeff? Jeff? Can you hear me? Jeff?>” Daedalus began talking to the limp figure of the human. “<Guys? Get over here! Jeff’s out!>”

Before turning to help Daedalus, Corphish landed a final stare upon Treecko’s eyes. Treecko’s mouth was left open and eyes almost fully opened in shock. Treecko continued to kneel on his hands and knees. Treecko didn’t walk over to help the others, but instead he walked over to the broken metal bar that he created from earlier. He stared at it and glowered, while clenching his teeth.

“TREEECKO!!!” wailed the wood gecko. He raised his tail and slammed it onto the same rail, bending it more. He continued to pound the metal bar. With each hit he grimaced.

Thwak!

A low pitched, chiming echo rang out after the impact of Treecko’s tail with the bar.

Thwak!

Thwak!

Thwak!


Treecko’s tail was now badly bruised. With the next hit the tail opened a bad cut from the friction. Beads of sweat were dripping off the stick in his gritted teeth. Before Treecko could deal more damage to the ship or himself, Daedalus wrapped his wing around Treecko. The grass type tried to resist but was too exhausted from all of his attacks. Daedalus fell backwards with Treecko to the ground.

“<Treecko! Why are you acting like this? Jeff’s hurt; we need your help to stop the bleeding!>” Daedalus urged.

He didn’t reply; Treecko just looked up at the sky.

“<Fine, just hold this cloth against the cut!>” Daedalus said, taking a cloth from Jeff’s bag which was dampened by the sea breeze.

Treecko reluctantly took the damp, white cloth from Daedalus and, only for a moment, looked at Jeff to find where the cut was. He pressed it against the bleeding gash and looked away. He leaned on the body by his hand, where he was holding the cloth, as if he was leaning on a pole. Treecko avoided all eyes and looked off into the sky. It was as if he didn’t care.

The Wingull named Peeko flew up from the cabin to inspect what was going to. She flew onto the guard rail and chirped, “<What happened? Did you kill him?!>”

“<Not US,>” Corphish scowled at Treecko.

“<I think he’ll be ok, we just need a potion… see if you can get one, please!>” Daedalus suggested.

“<Of course,>” replied Peeko, flying towards the cabin.

“<Oh, and… one more thing.>” The Taillow flew next to Peeko, stared at her before a wink, and asked, “<How YOU doin’?>”

The Wingull giggled and flew back into the cabin to get the requested item. After a few moments, it returned with a potion in its beak. She blushed when she landed next to Daedalus with the potion. Corphish clamped down on the button which sprayed the serum onto the gash. He held down on the button for too long so the entire potion was sprayed into Jeff’s head and hair. His limp face was unaffected by the accident.

“<Oh crap, will his entire face like… mutate and he’ll turn into a zombie alien?>” Corphish asked, worried that he had sprayed too much.

“<He won’t turn into a zombie because he’s not dead! Right, Treeck?>” Daedalus retorted with encouragement before looking over to see the out of place Treecko.

Treecko was off doing what he did; he sat alone, eyes closed but not asleep.

“<… Oh, forget it!>” Daedalus gave up. “<Since Treeck is off being Treeck, the three of us are going to need to work together to tie this bandage from the aid kit around Jeff’s head… I still don’t know what the hell got into T-cko.>”

“<And damned if he’ll tell us,>” Corphish added, getting a good grip on the unraveled bandage but was careful not to slice it with his sharp claws. Daedalus and Peeko both took opposite sides of the bandage in their beaks. Corphish pressed the bandage to the potion-soaked wound while the two bird pokemon flew around in opposite circles, tying the bandage around Jeff’s forehead. They released the ends of the bandage when the two pieces met. Daedalus then craftily made a strong knot using his beak and talons.

“<Somebody went to Taillow-Scouts Camp!>” Corphish joked.

“<In wars you have to know how to adapt with what ever you have,>” Daedalus grinned, obviously impressing Peeko.

“<Oh yeah! I know what you mean. This one time I was in a fight with another Corphish over this girl and he called me a female Growlithe so I threw sand in his face and ran… because that’s EXACTLY the same…>” Corphish grinned at himself, realizing the ridiculous story.

Jeff’s eyes twitched and he let out a groan. He stirred in his spot.

“<He’s waking up!>” Daedalus exclaimed.

“<Or MAYBE… he’s just DREAMING of waking up!>” Corphish said profoundly.

Treecko, who was on the other side of the boat, opened his eye halfway to inspect the occurrence.

“Errrrghhh… what…happened?” Jeff mumbled, almost inaudibly.

The three pokemon gathered around him looked at each other, confused as to what to say without incriminating Treecko. Peeko decided to fly back into the cabin to tell the captain that everyone was alright.

He put a hand to his bandaged head and winced. Daedalus and Corphish helped him to a sitting position, resting against the guard rail. Jeff eyed the metal rail and saw a brick red liquid crusting on the rail; the liquid he saw was his own drying blood.

“The last thing… I remember… are bright green bullets going… around the boat… Treecko?” Jeff looked at the large-tailed lizard, who was no longer glancing at him but was sitting up, hand back, in a relaxed position. Jeff tried to stand to walk over to Treecko but fell to the deck in wobbly daze. Jeff grunted on impact and immediately tried to drag himself over to Treecko in a crawl; his foot still ached from the badge being lodged in it. After ocean spray splashing over the side of the boat soaked him, Jeff made it to Treecko.

“Treecko? What happened there?” Jeff asked with confusion and as much warmth as possible.

Treecko, again, chose not to answer his master… no, not master…friend. …Friend? Was that right?

“<Why should I even bother explaining myself to him? It’s not like he really wants me around, nor do I really want to be here… I guess. Besides, it’s my problem, not his, and why should I waste my breath on someone who can’t understand me?>” Treecko thought while closing his eyes.

“Treecko I know I can’t understand you but you have to at least try to explain what happened. Tell Corphish or Daedalus or something! Come on Treecko!” Jeff pleaded.

“Tree… cko,” Treecko replied with an intimidating, cold tenor.

Daedalus whispered to Corphish, “<Did he just tell him to ‘piss off’?>”

“<Yeah, he did. It’s a damn good thing that Jeff can’t understand us.>”

Jeff stepped back and tried again. “Treeck! Give me something! You can’t keep isolating yourself and what you’re thinking… it’s not healthy!”

Treecko pierced a cold, aloof look into Jeff’s pupils. With a serious, take no crap tone, he replied, “<Don’t-tell-me-what-I-can’t-do.>”

Treecko turned his head in an attempt to shoo them away from him. Jeff opened his mouth to protest but Corphish clamped down on Jeff’s shirt, urging him away from the disobedient grass type. Jeff shut his eyes, nodded, and followed Corphish and Daedalus from the bow to the port of the boat where Jeff’s bag was. They all parked their rears next to the guard rail. Corphish and Daedalus began to converse but Jeff just stared at Treecko.

Where did it all go wrong?” Jeff mentally asked himself. He responded to his own question, “With one flick of the wrist and one twist of the tongue…”

A large land mass appeared in front of the boat. Jeff tried to sit up to get a better look but he fell back against the rails. The water that he had been staring at had formed into green land. He didn’t know why but it felt very familiar. Jeff prodded Corphish and Daedalus and pointed out the terrain. Treecko was aware of the earthy island so he did not bother opening his eyes.

“Land ho!” called out Mr. Briney. “I love saying that,” he chuckled to himself.

Jeff looked at the large piece of land. He scanned it from left to right. He saw a dense forest with towering trees coming from behind it. Next to that was a massive city with smog clouds overhead. On the other side of the disgusting city was more forest and shores which didn’t seem to end. Something wasn’t right to Jeff.

“THAT’S Dewford Island?! I thought it was small and clean!”

“No no! That’s not Dewford Island, that’s Petalburg City!”

“Petalburg?” Jeff’s heart sank and the memories hit him hard. He shook the image of Kristie and Alan from his mind and quickly followed up with, “Wh-why are we going to Petalburg? I thought you said we were going to Dewford!”

“We are, but I need to re-supply fuel at the Petalburg docks first! We’ve been ferrying people left and right over here so I doubt we can make another trip. Didn’t I mention that?” asked Mr. Briney, stroking his long white beard. “Also, that Treecko of yours busted the main controls of the ship with its bullet seed.”

“Sorry… and no you didn’t mention that…” Jeff grumbled. “It’s ok, I guess. How long will we have to sit in the city?”

“To get those parts fixed? I’d say two or three days tops. Sorry, lad, it looks like I’m your only way to Dewford, too.”

“Two…two to three days… in THERE?” Jeff gulped.

“I can probably find you a decent hotel to stay at.”

“Thanks for the offer… I think I’d rather camp out in Route 102.”

“Suit yourself,” Mr. Briney answered, steering the boat towards an open pier. The side of the boat scraped against the wall of the jetty. The captain tied the boat securely to a pole on the wharf. “I’ll be here helping the mechanics tomorrow and hopefully not the next,” he explained.

“Ok… we’re really sorry for all of the trouble,” stated Jeff. “If you want I can pay for most of…” Jeff’s voice was drowned out by the sounds of the chopping rotors of two helicopters flying over head in close quarters. He looked up to try and see the two helicopters but they were obscured by the blinding rays on the noon sun behind them. He squinted his green eyes and thought he saw three helicopters but only heard two, followed by a deep rumbling noise. He turned his head away in order to get his sight back. His pupils enlarged and the world became a little darker; it was fitting given the city that they were in.

“So I’ll see you in two to three days. I’ll check in the day after tomorrow to see if it’s finished,” Jeff told Mr. Briney before walking off the deck, followed by the pokemon. “Daedalus, Corphish, Treecko… stay close. We don’t want to be separated.”

Daedalus perched on his shoulder, intimidated by the large city. Corphish and Treecko followed behind Jeff’s footsteps. He walked up a north street which head directly from the docks to the pokemon center and to the right of the center was the exit. His eyes remained facing right; he stared at the long metal fence that separated the city from Route 102. The large inclined slope of the road paid its toll on Jeff’s cut foot. He winced as he could feel the cut reopen and blood stain his sock. Luckily the badge was now in his left shoe so that it wouldn’t cause anymore damage to the right one.

For ten minutes they continued to climb the seemingly infinite tarmac hill. They reached the gates of the city and made a hard right into the warm, welcoming forested path of Route 102. Jeff let out a sigh of relief. They walked a good deal into the forest until they saw a small grassy area suitable to set up camp in. Jeff plopped his backpack on the ground and took a tent from his bag.

“Hey, Corppy, do you want to help me pitch this?”

“<Sure, but my fastball has sucked the past few months. I think I threw out my shoulder!>”

Daedalus sighed and took a perch in a low branch of a tree. He jutted his head to a rustling noise behind him. The high bushes moved but they went back to stillness after whatever it was passed by. Treecko, who was parked on a high tree branch, opened up his eyes when he sensed something. He immediately jumped to a lower branch and then the ground. Treecko warily scanned his peripheral vision as well as his centered sight. The rustling surrounded the campsite, accompanied by a long, tedious hissing. Daedalus turned around to inspect the other side of the area. He froze when the noise became more vigorous and louder behind him. Treecko ran as fast as he could towards him, but Daedalus’ instincts told him not to wait. With a mighty beat of his wing, the Taillow took off from the branch and glimpsed behind him to see that he was narrowly missed by the large mouth of a pokemon.

The pokemon attacking was a long, primarily, serpent-like pokemon. It retracted its black and purple head. It slithered out from the underbrush. On its neck was a purple pattern like a lightning bolt. Along its head and back were gold hexagonal gems. The pokemon opened its yellow-jawed mouth to reveal a red, forked tongue and two red teeth; the teeth appeared to be broken, but they were still a force to be trifled with. As it slithered out its tail was revealed; it had a purple ring at the base before the tail turned into a sharp, deadly red blade like a sword.

Daedalus landed in front of the wood gecko. Treecko stared into the Seviper’s eyes. Suddenly something struck his memory.

“<You!>” Treecko growled through his teeth. He shoved Daedalus to the ground in an attempt to get past him. Treecko walked towards the massive snake with virtually no fear. Treecko felt scar tissue on his left collarbone.

The Seviper’s eyes opened wide as he too remembered the Treecko. “<Well… if it issssssn’t the helplessssssss little bug! You got lucky lassssst time but it won’t be sssssso now!>”

Treecko glared with a look that could kill. He clenched his left fist as well as his teeth and raised his right hand. With that hand he pulled his index finger towards him repeatedly, motioning for his foe to “try him”.

Daedalus got up and begged, “<Please Treeck, don’t do it! He’s huge!>” Treecko ignored him, dug his feet in, and jerked back his mouth.

“<Dae, it could be Lugia and he wouldn’t move a muscle!>” Corphish advised the bird.

Treecko prepared to fire his bullet seed and Seviper quickly slithered towards him. Jeff and the duo looked on with worry. Treecko thrust his head forward expecting a bullet seed attack to fire. But nothing, virtually nothing, came out. Treecko was shocked and aggravated. He tried once more. The same result.

“<Why the hell does this keep happening?! What is wrong with you, you weakling!>” were thoughts that flowed through Treecko’s mind. Jeff rushed to Treecko’s aid as the Seviper neared; Jeff was followed by Corphish and Daedalus. Treecko decided to switch to close quarters combat. He charged at Seviper, unaware that Jeff was closing in on them. Seviper raised his dagger-like tail, preparing to stab and Treecko raised his own tail, ready to slam. They both attacked at the same time.

Jeff was in the way.

Without meaning to, Treecko’s pound attack hit Jeff in the right knee, creating a “thuhk” sound. Seviper’s tail also entered the unknown obstacle. The sword-like tail penetrated the muscle in Jeff’s upper right leg. Jeff’s right leg was held up in the air not only by the tail holding it up, but by the fact that Jeff couldn’t extend his leg. His face went pale and the two pokemon looked at the damage that they caused. Jeff, in shock, balanced on his left foot, seemingly laughing the pain away with adrenaline. Treecko was in as much shock as Jeff, but he was not laughing. Treecko stood fixated at the mangled leg. Seviper couldn’t care less; with a flick of the tail, the sword effortlessly slid from the wound and Jeff was thrown onto his back.

Jeff landed in the dirt. He groaned with a smile and bit down hard on the twig in his mouth. Jeff looked down at his leg and noticed two things. One was that he was bleeding badly from the wound that Seviper inflicted, and two, the kneecap on the same leg was shoved over to the right of its original position by two inches. The grizzly scene was disturbing but Jeff was surprisingly unaltered by it.

Seviper continued to try and strike Treecko; he swung his blood-laced tail in a stabbing fashion. Treecko sidestepped each blow while backpedaling. The fight edged away from Jeff and more towards the forest. Corphish and Daedalus ran up to Jeff.

“Don’t worry guys. I’m fine! …I’m just bleeding a little and my kneecap is… out of place,” Jeff reassured through gritted teeth.

Corphish placed a claw under Jeff’s dislocated knee to support it. This gave Jeff some relief but wincing waves of pain continued in pumps, as did the spurts of blood coming from Jeff’s leg. The Seviper began to slither slowly into the forest.

“<Treeck! Get over here! We need your hands to stop the bleeding!>” Daedalus ordered.

Treecko looked at the three and then back at the Seviper who was slinking away, probably to create an ambush. Treecko took off after Seviper. Friends were not Treecko’s top priority right now, revenge was.

“<Jeff’ll be ok with those two. I know he will. I have to hunt down and get that damned, slithery b*stard. I’ll make sure he pays for last time. I’ll get that dishonorable coward… no matter what. That was the worst day of my life… before yesterday. He’ll pay with his life.>” Treecko thought while growling. He ran into the forest. It didn’t even cross his mind how Jeff was.

“<DAMN IT, Treeck!>” Daedalus yelled, flying after him. “<Corphish! Stay with Jeff! Don’t relocate the knee cap! Just try to stop the bleeding!>”

Treecko, with rage and impervious determination, quickly followed the snake pokemon into the forest. The Seviper turned around. Treecko leapt off of the ground and jumped onto a tree trunk to his left. He bounced off of that, roared with a high battle cry, and landed a solid kick down Seviper’s head. When the Seviper’s head was forced down by the foot, Treecko jumped off of his head, ricocheted off another tree trunk to his right, and flipped in the air; Treecko’s tail hit Seviper right in the face. The blow was increased by the momentum of the fall. Treecko landed on his feet, panting through clenched teeth and a sweating face. There was so much fury in his eyes that they looked like they would shoot real daggers. The vengeful look of anger remained imprinted on his face.

“<You’re pissssssing me off!>” hissed Seviper in anger. He thrust his head at Treecko, who flew back from the hit. Seviper then whipped his tail around in a straight motion. The blade sliced with great force up Treecko’s right shoulder, causing small droplets of blood to leave the wound with the tail. The wood gecko pokemon was thrown against the tree behind him; it was the tree that he was roosting on when Seviper first appeared. Treecko hit the tree with such force so that a sickening crack was made on impact.

“<Those hitssss were nothing compared to the onessss that you delivered when we firsssssst fought! You are losing your touch, lone little Treecko.>”

“Tree,” Treecko grimaced, holding his badly bleeding shoulder. The Seviper smirked and then wrapped its body around Treecko as well as the tree; he squeezed the tree and the lizard tightly. Treecko groaned as the pressure from Seviper’s strong muscles were put on his bleeding shoulder and bruised ribs. The hold crushed Treecko into the trunk making him unable to move his arms, legs, or tail. Seviper put his sharp tail to Treecko’s neck.

“<Well, well, well…issssn’t thissss jussst like old timessssss, little Treecko? Thisssss time you won’t get away.>”

Through Treecko’s pain, he managed to slip out one taunt. “<I’d tell you to -errggh- bite me…but I forgot… you can’t.>”

“<Cocky little ssssslime!>” Seviper hissed, squeezing Treecko harder. He attempted to free himself from the bind but it was too tight. Treecko felt as if every bone in his body would be crushed into dust. He tried with all of his might to move but this caused tremendous agony. The muscles of the snake’s body tightened, driving Treecko into the bark of the tree. He wished that all the pain would end, but he wouldn’t let himself die… he needed to settle his scores. It felt like his body was becoming part of the tree trunk now; the bind grew relentlessly tighter. There was no greater discomfort for Treecko; he would rather be caught on fire than go through another second of this. “<As much as I admire your sssspirit, you cannot esssssscape, tough one!>”

Treecko saw Daedalus flying towards him. He shook his head at the bird, insisting that he’d be alright. Seviper continued to squeeze the life from Treecko. The air had left Treecko’s lungs so he couldn’t protest. All he did was let out a short, stressed cry of pain. Daedalus flew at full speed into Seviper’s unaware head.

The snake cried out from the deep peck to his face. The grip tying Treecko slightly loosened. Daedalus continued to peck and scratch at the snakes face, who winced and tried to bite back. Seviper’s bind loosened as he was distracted by the attack from Daedalus. It was just enough for Treecko to regain his breath, but not enough for him to free himself. Treecko wanted to aid the battle but with his bullet seed out of commission and his tail stuck behind him, he could only watch and wait.

Weak, helpless, and useless.

Those were the only words that could describe what Treecko was feeling, other than the immense pain that was caused from the bind. A shiver crept up and down his breaking spine. Treecko shut his eyes, grimaced, and turned his head away.

He began to think, “He was right. This IS just like last time… except I could actually do something about it, then. No… that’s not true, either. I got lucky last time. I couldn’t do anything to free myself then and not now either. You’re a weak, pathetic Caterpie who has to rely on others and luck to save his sorry excuse for a tail. You need to be stronger if you ever want to show your face again.”

Treecko squirmed in discomfort.

You CAN’T show your face again. You left Jeff when he needed you. Not for the first time and not for the last time. You’ve been kidding yourself you selfish b*stard.”

Daedalus landed a quick beak strike into Seviper’s neck, sending a shock down his nerves. Seviper’s tail twitched and loosened. Treecko leapt out of the wrapping attack and grabbed a hold of Seviper’s tail. He shoved the bladed tail into the heart of the tree.

“<That should hold him here until I get back,>” Treecko spat, walking away from the tree before collapsing onto the trunk of another tree. Daedalus flew over to Treecko.

“<’Until you get back’? Are you serious? You can’t even walk!>” Daedalus asked as Seviper tried to snap at the two pokemon. They were just out of his reach.

Treecko weakly moaned, tightly clutching his severely hurt right shoulder. Daedalus made Treecko put his left hand around his back as they walked back towards Jeff and Corphish.

“<The rebel and the loner… two of the leader’s greatest banes. They refuse to get caught up in the group mentality and they fail to follow instructions. Because of this they will often be the one who needs the leader to get his tail out of a jam in times like these. I have problems too! I didn’t want to be a leader, but I HAD to be! The situation arose and I was put in charge. Now I had these five other Taillow’s looking to me for guidance and strategies! I didn’t know what to say at first but then I realized that I had to lead them. I stepped up and ever since being caught, I’ve felt like I’ve let them down. Sure, I’m no longer leading them so you’d think there’d be a great burden lifted off of my chest… but it’s still there and it’s heavier than ever. I wasn’t a leader… yet now I know what it feels like when one sends his men to their deaths.>”

Treecko let out a groan of pain.

“<Let me ask you this, Treecko; what’s inside that thick head of yours? What are your loves, fears, goals? More importantly, why are you acting like this?>”

Treeck grunted and muttered to himself, “<It’s none of your damn business.>”

Treecko didn’t answer after that but followed his feet limping in the dirt. He lifted his head up and then stared at the light shining through the canopies.

“<Did you say something?>” Daedalus asked, but not without warmth.

“<You don’t even know me! You don’t know what’s inside me!>” Treecko sharply retorted.

“<That’s exactly my point! You have to open up!>”

Treecko defiantly turned his head away from the conversation.

“<What? Too cool to talk? Pride and stubbornness come hand in hand, I hope you know, but being a loner doesn’t help you one bit! The three combine and turn you into...you. Maybe that’s why you and Jeff are always clashing!>”

Treecko continued to look away and a silence ensued. Daedalus knew that, try as he might, he couldn’t change Treecko. Admittedly, he felt guilty.

Breaking the long pause, Treecko quietly declared, “<You shouldn’t have interfered; I was fine without your help.>”

“<Oh yeah, he was BEGGING for mercy!>” Daedalus rolled his eyes.

Treecko kicked a large, outgrowing root in anger, cringing with the action.

Daedalus only shook his head in exasperation. “<I wonder if Jeff’s ok…>” thought Daedalus aloud.

They arrived at the site where Jeff was lying on the ground. Corphish was lying over an unconscious Jeff, his claw pressed against the bloody wound. Treecko opened his eyes and looked upon the sight. His mouth slackened as he stared. Treecko ignored his own pain and gazed at the wounds that he both directly and indirectly inflicted. The wood gecko folded his arms and shuddered.

“<I caused that?! Oh, Arceus! I can’t do anything right! I can’t defend myself against that damned Seviper! I keep messing Jeff up!>” Treecko’s thoughts were interrupted when he collapsed to a knee.

“<What I wouldn’t give for House M.D. right now!>” Corphish scowled. “<He lost too much blood! He’s unconscious! I’m not sure how much more blood he can lose!>”

Daedalus placed Treecko on Jeff’s stomach. The Taillow and Corphish both grabbed Jeff’s hands and tried to pull them. They pulled Jeff centimeter by centimeter, no matter how hard it was.

Treecko grimaced in pain and thought.

“<You did a real friggin’ great job again, Treecko! Why can’t you be more like them!? Actually HELPING Jeff! You hurt Jeff in battle! You went after Seviper instead of helping… and LOST! You couldn’t do a thing to save yourself so you had to let Daedalus come to your rescue! Now you can’t even help them drag Jeff back to the pokemon center, YOU’RE the one being dragged! You’re a pathetic excuse for a Treecko!>” he thought in disgust.

Treecko was also losing a lot of blood. He fainted while on Jeff’s chest. Right before Treecko was completely out, he managed to whisper the following word.

“<Weak…>”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daedalus and Corphish continued to drag the bodies of the two with their beak and pincers, respectably.

“<Hey, Corppy? What do you think is wrong with Treecko?>”

“<Well first of all he’s unconscious from the nasty gash on his shoulder and his ribs may be broken from the squeezing!>” Corphish answered with sarcasm.

“<You know what I mean!>”

“<Well… here’s how I see it! Back when Jeff told him to take a hike, Treecko cared way too much and took it much too personally. That escapade almost made him leave Jeff alone forever. I don’t think Treecko had ever cared that much in his life… to my knowledge… so he noticed this and saw where it almost got him. Now, I think he’s over compensating by not caring at all. He doesn’t want to ‘over-care’ and have something like that happen again. Now by not caring at all he’s driving himself into a similar hell.>”

“<I don’t know Corppy… I mean, I agree with you up until the part where you say he’s trying too hard not to care. The Treecko that we have now, it… doesn’t seem unnatural for him. It feels like he’s back to normal…except he doesn’t value Jeff as a friend. I mean, his need to prove that he’s not weak, him being alone, the uncaring, calm attitude.>”

“<You have a point there, Inspector Daedalus. Let’s say ‘he cared too much, now he’s back to normal… but he’s a royal jackass’.>”

“<It’s a deal… hey! We’re almost at the gate!>” Daedalus exclaimed.

Past the gate was a guy in a blue uniform. The guy wore a black hat and a badge on his sleeve. He seemed to be writing a ticket for an improperly parked car. The man noticed, out of the corner of his eye, the pokemon dragging the other two with all of their might. The guy came running over to check out the situation. He withdrew a flashlight and shone it on the bodies.

“What’s going on here?” he asked in a confused but calmed voice.

“<We need help!>” Corphish answered, flailing his claws upwards.

The police officer understood that the pokemon were probably Jeff’s. He answered, “Ok, I’ll take the guy; you two carry the Treecko in!”

They nodded and took Treecko off of Jeff’s chest. The officer dragged Jeff into the pokemon center by his shoulders, aware of his dislocated knee. He was followed by Corphish and Daedalus with Treecko.

“Excuse me Nurse Joy? We have two badly wounded here! We need stretchers and then you should bring them to the ER room!” advised the police officer of the PCPD.

“Of course, officer, what… my goodness! Is that Jeff?!” Nurse Joy exclaimed in surprise. All Nurse Joys were very good with placing faces. They had to be, given their not-so-diverse family.

Two pink, egg-bearing Chanseys came out from the back hallway carrying two stretchers. Nurse Joy took Jeff by the arms and the police officer took him by the legs; they carefully lifted him up onto the stretcher while the Chanseys did likewise with Treecko. The two stretchers, pink pokemon, and Nurse Joy disappeared into the door in the back of the lobby, undoubtedly to the ER.

The officer kneeled down and asked Daedalus and Corphish, “Do you need me to watch you guys while they’re in there?”

Daedalus shook his head and pounded his chest with his wing saying, “<I think I can take care of Corphish here!>”

“<Yeah! He knows to read my favorite book ‘Goodnight Moon’ at bedtime. I sleep like a Togepi each time.>”

The police officer nodded and left the Pokemon center to go back to his patrol duty. The two attempted to wait in the lobby but they found themselves too nervous to wait. They agreed that they would see how their friends were doing. The two pokemon quickly ran to the door at the back of the lobby. The door was ajar so it slid open with a light push and the two entered the hallway. There were three doors on each side of the hall with a final room at the end of the hall. Corphish opened the door to his right. The door squeaked open and high, raspy yells followed. The door opened to show the light green body of a Scyther strapped to a hospital bed tossing around violently. A Chansey was struggling to put a sedative into his IV line.

“<Heh, sorry…wrong room.>” Daedalus grinned nervously. Corphish followed up by closing the door.

Corphish then tried the door across from the previous one. He opened it and saw Treecko lying belly-down on a bed in the center of the room. His chest was bandaged horizontally and his right shoulder had more bandages slung diagonally to meet the dressings on his chest. There were three beads attached to his thigh, chest, and shoulder. Attached to these beads were wires which led to a large machine. Nurse Joy was standing at the machine which housed a screen and many buttons.

“<Poor Treeck…>” Daedalus said aloud. “<I’m sure if Jeff was able to, he’d be in there right next to him.>”

“<Speaking of Jeff, let’s see how he’s doing…>” suggested Corphish.

They tried the second room on the left and opened it to see a Chansey standing over him. He had a plasma-filled IV line going into his arm. There were four empty syrettes on the table beside him. His wound was bandaged and the Chansey was, just as they entered, popping the kneecap back into place. The result was a sickening crack. Both Corphish and Daedalus cringed and turned away as the Chansey performed the procedure with a creepy smile.

“<Well there goes MY lunch! Want to go back to the lobby?>” Corphish asked, his shell a fine beige color.

“<My thoughts exactly…>”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Continued...
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Co-Owner of Treecko/Grovyle/Sceptile Club.
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  #70    
Old October 16th, 2007, 07:23 AM
Grovyle42(Griff8416)'s Avatar
Grovyle42(Griff8416)
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...continued

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An eyelid opened.

Jeff stared upwards to the blindingly clean, white ceiling of the recovery room. He lay on an equally white bed. He looked down at his leg; there was a white bandage wrapped around an apparently stitched cut. His kneecap was also back where it should have been and there were no signs of swelling. Jeff cautiously began to bend his knee. Much to his joy, he felt virtually no pain or irritation, the worst was that his knee was a little weak. Nevertheless, the cut still ached when he extended his leg. Jeff reached over to the end table to read his medical chart.

Twelve milligrams of morphine given at eight twenty-three PM,” read the chart.

Twelve MGs?! Man, with that dosage I should be out for hours if not dead! By the feel of my cut… they aren’t doing a damn thing! And the half-life of morphine is six or so hours and it’s only…” Jeff looked at the clock on the wall across from him. “…Eight forty-two!” Jeff thought in surprise.

Jeff continued reading the folder. “The patient in the bed to the right of him is his Treecko. Condition: Stable but should not move.”

Upon reading that, Jeff turned his head sharp to the right, expecting to see Treecko. All that Jeff saw was a mess of bed sheets and three drops of blood leading away from the bed.

“Tree…Treecko?” Jeff called out.

He slung his legs over the side of the bed and ripped the IV from his vein. He grimaced from the pain in his leg but at least that distracted him from extraction of the IV line. A small drop of blood trickled from the vein where his IV was. Jeff let it flow and shakily stood out of bed.

If I know Treecko, he wasn’t discharged!” Jeff thought, clutching his leg, careful of ripping his stitches.

He began to weight bear using his left leg. He hobbled his way out of the recovery room and found himself in the eight door hallway along with a sleeping Daedalus and Corphish.

“What the? You’re not supposed to be in here!” Jeff stated, confused at their presence. The two pokemon stretched and groaned.

“<Couldn’t open the doorway out,>” Corphish shrugged, attempting to explain.

“Nevermind, I have to get out of here! Did you see Treecko come by here?” Jeff growled, limping down the hallway to the doorway out.

They both shook their heads.

“Right… asleep. You guys stay in the lobby until I get back!” Jeff stated, turning around and hobbling out the door.

“<What’s with him?>” Daedalus asked.

“<Maybe they made him watch the tape of when they popped his knee back into place in slow motion… or even worse…>” Corphish gasped. “… What if they made him watch ‘BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE’!?>”

Daedalus sighed and led Corphish out into the lobby.

Jeff burst out of the front door of the center and turned left, into Route 102. Three pedestrians looked with surprise at the dazed patient but decided to let Jeff continue. Luckily for Jeff, Nurse Joy was not in the lobby and therefore, could not stop him. The sun setting cast an orange light on the ground. Jeff walked as fast as he could without hurting his leg. He went along the orange, dirt path into the forest. He quickly turned his head around in all directions, still dazed from unconsciousness.

“Treecko?” he murmured in hope.

The most that he saw was a purple-furred Rattata with large fangs cross his path. Jeff continued to walk. He was only about thirty meters away from the center.

Where is he? What if he’s hurt? What if I never see him again?! What if a pokemon attacks him or he tries to fight Seviper again and… NO! He’s a big pokemon! He can take care of himself! I still have to find him, though… Arceus, let him be alright! I need to find Treecko… I can’t let him leave again… not because of me!”

Jeff stopped in his tracks when he saw what was ahead of him. He walked forwards to see bandages unraveled on the ground. Jeff kneeled with his good knee and picked up the bandages.

“Tr… Treecko…” Jeff whispered, placing the bandages back on the ground. “He must be around here.”

He closed his eyes and listened carefully.

Wind blowing… leaves rustling in them… but something else.

Jeff perked up his ears and listened closer. He heard the distant yet unmistakable sound of his Treecko. Jeff ran diagonally to his right. He didn’t care about his leg anymore; he just had to get there. He ran through brush and forest.

The sounds were getting closer. Treecko sounded like he was in pain.

Jeff kept running faster. He made his way to a clearing. There was a cliff a little over twice Jeff’s size ahead of him in the grass. At the base of the cliff was a foot high rock. Jeff stopped running to catch his breath. At the top of the cliff he saw Treecko’s outline. Jeff was about to call out but then he saw the wood gecko jump off in a flip. Jeff’s relief turned to pure shock. Treecko did multiple somersaults in the air before whacking his tail against the rock. He cried out in pain with the hit but he landed with his feet on the ground. Treecko climbed back up the cliff and jumped off; this time he jumped in a backwards somersault. He slammed his tail into the rock below only to have a similar result. He grimaced and climbed back up to repeat the process.

Jeff inspected Treecko’s body; his shoulder wound bled and there were bruises all over his body, especially the tail. Seeing Treecko that way broke Jeff’s heart. Treecko jumped again and pounded his tail into the rock.

Why is Treecko doing this to himself? Is he training? Is he trying to break the rock? Is it because it’s said that Treecko’s tails can sometimes break through rock? Is this a way of self torture? Why? Why is he doing this?” Jeff thought, hiding behind a bush. One thing that he noticed about Treecko was that his twig was not in his mouth but, upon Jeff’s further inspection, it lay propped up against the target rock.

The stubborn lizard scaled the cliff before repeating the process. He hit the rock and unleashed a pained cry. Treecko climbed up and continued the heartbreaking perpetual motion, each resulted with a piercing and suffering yell as well as horrible, beaten up bruises and cuts. Jeff doubted he would last four more tries. He couldn’t help but let a whimper escape his throat.

Why? Why is he doing this to himself?! HE didn’t do anything wrong! It’s ME, it’s MY fault! I should be throwing myself on that stone, not him! Why does he feel that he’s to blame?! I wish that we could switch bodies so that I could take in all the pain that he’s receiving!” Jeff thought between controlled sobs.

Jeff could no longer watch. He ran into the clearing. “Stop! Treecko! NO! Enough! Please!” While Jeff ran, he felt his own stitches tear from his skin. He let out a cry and felt a pour of blood soak his bandage. He stumbled to the grass and landed with a painful thud. Jeff inspected the blades of grass in front of his eyes. A shadow cast over them. He looked up to see a green hand outstretched before him. The pained human looked up at Treecko’s bruised and scraped face. The pokemon’s face did not grin any smug grin, nor did it frown. His face was that of determined seriousness and apathy. Jeff looked at his face with nervousness and pity.

“Treecko… why are you doing this?”

Treecko didn’t respond. Instead he turned around and walked back to the rock. The wood gecko picked up the twig and walked back to Jeff. The human got onto his knees. Treecko slowly approached Jeff and extended his hand. He grabbed Jeff’s left hand and brought it towards him, outstretching it. Without a word, Treecko took his twig and placed it in Jeff’s empty palm. With both of his hands he closed Jeff’s hand until the hand firmly grasped the stick.

“Treecko cko tree.”

Treecko hugged the kneeling Jeff one last time before turning away. It lasted for four seconds, but to Jeff it seemed like no time had passed. Treecko walked away from him and climbed over the rock and up the cliff. Where Jeff expected him to jump again, he didn’t. The wood gecko had just disappeared over the plateau.

What had happened?

Jeff remained kneeling, still, and seemingly wasn’t breathing.

Treecko was gone.

He remained in a shocked, statue-like position. He spilled no tears, he vented no anger, and he made no sound.

The orange light disappeared and night overtook. The beats of wings were heard above Jeff. Daedalus swooned down and landed in front of Jeff.

“<CORPHISH! DOWN HERE; I FOUND HIM!>” Daedalus yelled into the forest.

Shortly after the yell, Corphish came scuttling out of the forest with Jeff’s backpack in claw.

“<We were looking everywhere for you! I managed to get your backpack near where that Seviper was,>” Corphish explained.

Jeff remained staring at his hand.

“<Jeff?>” Daedalus asked.

After a long pause, Jeff answered in an apathetic melancholy, “Treecko left.”

Jeff could see the shock in their eyes although he couldn’t comprehend the barrage of words coming from them. They continued to blabber indistinctly. The white noise didn’t affect Jeff. The searing pain in his leg was no longer bothersome.

After they finally quieted, Jeff said with as little emotion as possible, “We should get some sleep.”

The pokemon didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t like they could protest so they agreed with sorrow. Jeff lay down on his back and stared up into the stars.

I don’t think he’s coming back… why? Why did I have to hit him? Why did I have to ask to travel with Kristie? Why can’t I get over her? It wasn’t his fault that he brought it up…I was egging him on!” Again, tears began to fill Jeff’s eyes and tightness arose in his throat. “Stop crying!” he ordered himself.

Why? Why should I stop!? I’m the reason he left! I’m the reason why he’ll never be happy!” Jeff rubbed his eyelids and held back the feelings with great struggle. “No, do not be weak! You can’t let the others see you like this! …Oh Arceus, I wish Treeck was here!”

Suddenly, Jeff felt a tugging on his shoe. He quickly wiped all emotion from his vacant face and raised his head to find Corphish at his feet with Daedalus behind him. They both looked deeply upset.

“Corphish cor cor,” said the Corphish, sadly.

“You two can’t sleep?” Jeff asked with emptiness.

They shook their heads in agreement.

“Want me to sing or something?”

They looked at one another and nodded. Jeff remembered a song that he sang or listened to whenever he was down. It was a song by the band Oasis. He didn’t think it would help him at all, but his pokemon deserved to sleep. The pokemon rested their heads on both of Jeff’s sides, trying to get comfortable.

Jeff began to sing the lullaby to his two grieved pokemon.

“Hold up.
Hold on.
Don’t be scared.
You'll never change what's been and gone.”

Despite his blankness, Jeff managed to get every key right. His deep voice could not mimic the lead singer’s exactly but it was close enough. He knew the song like the back of his hand.

“May your smile.
Shine on.
Don't be scared.
Your destiny may keep you warm.”

Jeff almost whispered each word. He was singing it with a soothing voice, prolonging each verse. He didn’t know how much of the song he could actually handle, though. The duo’s spirits began to calm. Fortunately, the soothing song apparently worked also for pokemon.

“'Cause all of the stars
are fading away.
Just try not to worry
you’ll see them some day.
Take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out.”

Jeff’s voice began to shake but he tried to keep it bottled up inside. Depression was poisonous and it infected those around. Why should more of his friends have to suffer for his own faults?

“Get up.
Come on.
Why're you scared?
You'll never change what's been and gone.”

Their creased eyes began to close as they nestled against Jeff’s warm t-shirt. The feeling of helping them sleep created a warm feeling in Jeff’s frigid heart but the two feelings clashed.

“'Cause all of the stars
are fading away.
Just try not to worry
you’ll see them some day.
Take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out.”

Jeff paused. He looked at the two pokemon and noticed that they were sound asleep. Although his audience was at rest, he continued to sing… just for himself. It was worth a try. He was unaware that he was being watched.

“'Cause all of the stars
are fading away.
Just try not to worry
you’ll see them some day.
Take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out.”

A pair of yellow eyes watched from behind a tree. They gleamed in the moonlight except when, with each blink, they disappeared completely. Jeff still did not spot his watcher. He was as content as he could possibly be to sing to himself in an attempt to help him through this tough time.

“We're all of us stars
we’re fading away.
Just try not to worry
you’ll see us some day.
Just take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out.
Stop crying your heart out.
Stop crying your heart out.”

Jeff’s voice began to crack and trail off. He scratched his eye and lay on his back. He quickly shut his eyes in an attempt to escape.

The hiding figure took a long, hard, quivering sigh. The pair of yellow eyes turned around and began to walk back into the forest. The green body moved away from the clearing. The dark green tail bobbed side to side with each step.

“<Take good care of yourself and the others Jeff. I might be back. I don’t blame you for holding it against me… I hold it against me, too.>”

He made no noise as he calmly crept away. The figure’s reddish-pink underbelly stood out in the green surroundings. He stopped and turned around. His cool, collected, yellow eyes looked back at his best friend a final time. He shut his shimmering eyes and turned his head forward, disappearing into the darkness of the forest.

In his mind, Treecko said, “<Goodbye, Jeff… although you don’t know it… this time… I really am sorry.>”

Jeff, before shutting his eyes completely, looked up at the tree tops and the starry night sky; the full moon cast a blue light on the clearing. Jeff examined the two close to identical twigs in his hands before shutting his eyes.

"<Jeff, you will always be my brother.>"

He whispered, “Treecko…

He’s really gone.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N:

I don't think this was as gripping as the last chapter.
I also didn't expect it to be take up 2 posts again. xD It was only one in the original cut.

The lullaby was "Stop Crying Your Heart Out" by Oasis.

Jeff may make a catch next chapter!

I revamped Chapters 1 and 2
__________________
[B]Claimed: Treecko, Grovyle, Charmeleon.
Co-Owner of Treecko/Grovyle/Sceptile Club.
Paired withAnastasia R.
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  #71    
Old October 16th, 2007, 03:04 PM
The Infinite Devil Machine
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Wow....Compared to the first few chapters, the improvement is HUGE. The tension between Treecko and Jeff seems really real. A capture, next chappy? Sounds interesting...
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  #72    
Old October 16th, 2007, 05:19 PM
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Thanks for reviewing

Sorry for the length.
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  #73    
Old October 17th, 2007, 08:45 PM
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Astinus
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I’m reviewing here because SPPf is being a pain, even at one in the morning. ; So I figured why not just finish reviewing here, since I can get on at all times of the day.

Quote:
He poked at it, idly, picking at the dried blood that formed a still trickle down his arm; like sap on a tree trunk.
The semicolon isn’t needed. The words after it are actually a fragment if left on their own, so just replace the semicolon with a comma.

Quote:
Jeff slowly limped over the forest bed, sticks broke and leaves crunched beneath his heavy feet. Every so often, he turned his head around; paranoid of more pokemon who didn’t think red was his color.
Here’s where it gets confusing. @.@ The first sentence, you can replace the comma with a semicolon because the two sentences are related, but can stand on their own. The second sentence is the one where you don’t need the semicolon, so you make that one into a comma. (If you give me a few days, I’ll write up a guide for semicolons. They’re very hard to explain quickly.)

Quote:
"Ugh, damnit…sorry bud, I forgot my backpack back at the lake. Now I have to go get it." Jeff explained to the disappointed pokemon.
Full stop after "it" should be a comma.

Quote:
"It’s you again!" Jeff exclaimed, overjoyed. "…Nice twig." Jeff smiled, gesturing to the identical twig in his mouth.
Corrections in bold.

Quote:
"Treecko Tree Tree Cko," Treecko smiled, dropping the heavy backpack.
Comma after "cko" should be a full stop.

Quote:
"Treecko Cko Tree Treecko" Treecko laughed, mockingly.
Forgot to place the full stop in the quotation marks.

Quote:
Treecko turned to go back to his massive tree, he began to walk back into the thick brush.
Split this one sentence into two by changing the comma after "tree" to a full stop. Or you could keep it as one, but change in to "…back to his massive tree, walking back into the thick brush". Either or.

Quote:
Jeff called to Treecko before he was camouflaged by the plants, "hey Treecko…how would you like to come back to my home for some food?"
Capitalize "hey".

Quote:
Jeff looked at Treecko, skeptically,
Comma after "skeptically" should be a full stop.

Quote:
"Cko Tree" Treecko said as he put up one finger
Missed that full stop again after "tree".

Quote:
"Tree…Treecko?" Jeff called out in a raspy voice, his mouth was very dry.
Again, you could split up this sentence. Either have "his mouth was very dry" on it’s own, or make it "his mouth dry" and keep it as one sentence.

Quote:
After a painstaking half hour, they finally reached the edge of Littleroot Town.
Correction in bold.

Quote:
Treecko shook his head,
Comma should be a full stop.

Quote:
"<I guess he thought that this visit would make up for it, then,>" Tyrogue grinned.
Comma after "then" should be a full stop.

Quote:
Treecko began to think,
Comma should be a full stop.

Quote:
smiled Tyrogue.
Since this isn’t a dialogue tag, it goes as it’s own sentence. Just switch the two words around.

Quote:
Treecko’s heart sunk,
Comma should be a full stop.

Quote:
Tyrogue patted his back, "<c’mon pal, don’t be so hard on yourself,>"
Comma after "back" should be a full stop, and capitalize "C’mon".

Quote:
"Here, let me walk with you to the edge of the forest." Jeff offered.
Full stop after "forest" should be a comma.

Quote:
Chikorita mocked
Missed the full stop at the end of this sentence.

Quote:
"<Pah, right! Think what you like but I hope to Arceus that I'm [b]never[b] like him
Tags got mucked up. o.o

Quote:
Jeff reassured
Missed the full stop at the end of this sentence.

I’m impressed with how developed the characters are becoming. Tyogre definitely showed a lot of development in this chapter. He went from just one casually mentioned Pokémon in a beginning chapter to a solid character. I hope to see more of him as I continue to catch up reading.

Just one last grammar thing: You tend to repeat the names of the characters in narration. Don’t be afraid to use pronouns or other descriptive epithets for the characters. For example, call Treecko "the wood gecko", or something to that affect. (Of course, I’m still playing catch up. So if you changed this in later chapters, feel free to ignore me. xD)
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  #74    
Old October 18th, 2007, 11:50 AM
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Thanks for reviewing, :D

I'm actually about to rewrite this chapter so this helps a lot .
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  #75    
Old October 18th, 2007, 09:36 PM
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*dives behind couch* Are you planning on rewriting the other earlier chapters? It might be a good idea to do so, especially if you want to keep the quality the same and get rid of all those grammar errors.

Speaking of which...

Chapter Four

Quote:
"Chic! Tor Tor Chic! Chic!" It peeped angrily.
Same dialogue problem. "It" should be lowercased.

Quote:
"I can only assume that’s something mean" Jeff said with a half-smile.
Missing the comma after "mean".

Quote:
As Jeff dusted himself off and saw a person jogging towards him.
Sentence fragment. Just get rid of the "as" and you’ll be all set.

Quote:
Jeff the feeling remained while they neared closer and closer.
xD "Jeff the feeling"…

Quote:
"I can relate" Jeff thought to himself.
Missing the comma after "relate".

Quote:
Jeff looked up and saw that Treecko began to take quite a beating from the large, jagged, beak of the Fearow.
No comma needed after "jagged".

Quote:
Treecko was backed away from the trunk and Fearow was blocking it’s way to the main trunk, while laying a barrage of pecks on Treecko.
Wrong "its". Without the apostrophe, that would be the possessive.

Quote:
"Cko, cko, cko, cko" Treecko would wince in pain with each beak strike.
Missing the exclamation point after that last "cko".

Quote:
Just then, Fearow started to Drill peck the branch in front of it.
"Peck" should be capitalized.

Quote:
"Call it even, this time?" Jeff asked, "Cko!" Treecko replied, agreeing with a large smirk.
Full stop after "asked", and Treecko’s dialogue should be in its own paragraph.

Quote:
I don’t get any more sets of starters for another month, you should probably wait that long." Professor Birch remarked.
Comma after "long".

Quote:
Jeff’s jaw dropped, "that was the day I met Treecko! That flash of light was Treecko being caught in a pokeball?!"
Full stop after "dropped" and capitalize "that".

Quote:
Jeff quickly turned to Treecko, "All that time I waited for you and you just let yourself be captured?"
Full stop after "Treecko".

Quote:
The professor beamed, "I remember I do still have an extra Torchic and a Mudkip in my desk!"
Full stop after "beamed".

Quote:
"Gotcha," Jeff replied and then frowned, "…why do you dislike Treecko so much?"
Full stop after "frowned".

Quote:
"You had extras of Mudkip and Torchic" Jeff pointed out.
Missed the comma after "Torchic".

Quote:
Jeff smiled back "Therefore, I won’t force you to be kept in a pokeball!" He offered, sticking out his arm.
Missed the full stop after "back" and the "he" should be lowercased.

Quote:
"You two really are…made for each other" Professor Birch smiled.
Missed the full stop after "other".

Quote:
They blushed a little and Jeff added "Let’s just say that we’re like old friends."
Missed the comma after "added".

Quote:
"Well let’s go Treecko," Jeff began to turn around.
Full stop after "Treecko".

Quote:
"Treecko, Tree" Treecko replied, relieved that he has a good trainer and friend.
Missed the comma after "tree".

The biggest problem that I saw with this chapter was Birch’s characterization. He’s shown to be a caring man that cares for Pokémon. He doesn’t seem like the one that would point out a Pokémon’s flaws and force it into a Pokeball. I dunno. It just seemed odd to see him written like that.

It’s fine that you’re taking your time getting the journey started in favor of your characters. They feel like real people/Pokémon that I can meet on the street.

-

Chapter Five

Quote:
Jeff grunted
Missed the full stop.

Quote:
Treecko shrugged, "Treecko cko tree, treecko treecko cko," he grinned, trying to say, "<I get that a lot; I think many other pokemon are threatened by me.>"
Full stop after "shrugged" and the last "cko", then capitalize "he" before "grinned".

Quote:
"Hey mom, I’m back!"
Capitalize "mom".

o_o; I decided to just stop pointing out the dialogue errors. I’m sure that after four and a half-chapters of pointing out dialogue errors, it got annoying. Just if you want to catch them, go back and read through your chapters again.

Quote:
She was a dyed blonde, brown haired woman walked entered and looked at them.
You might want to reword this sentence. "Dyed blonde" makes me think that her skin is blond, and you have one too many verbs in the second half of the sentence.

Your description skills could be improved. When you described Corphish, it came out like a list. Instead, you should try to incorporate the description into the narration, like you did with "the moonlight reflected off its wet orange shell". And you really didn’t describe any of the surroundings that well. Describing the setting can set a mood for the story. Just take your time on that.

So far, you just seem to be following the plot for the games. I’m just waiting to see if you deviate from that at any point. Again, I’ll wait to see when I catch up to where you are currently in chapters.
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