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  #51    
Old April 11th, 2008, 01:40 AM
bobandbill's Avatar
bobandbill
Where's that sheep...
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Central Coast - Australia
Age: 22
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Nature: Jolly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minos Yewman View Post
I'll say what everyone else has said as well as the fact that you set up (I think) for the Miror B. radar from XD.

Keep up the good work!
Hello again. It is similar to the Miror B radar in XD, although not quite the same radar yet... but good pick there.

Last chapter that has been done here now. After that, the next chapter shall be... in the next two weeks... I shall be on holiday from tomorrow until a week after that... so probably won't be up and done then unless... well, we'll leave it at that.

Enjoy!



***

Chapter Nine - The Music-Man’s Fortress



“Yes, you will get a fine prize indeed,” continued the man as they crossed the bridge over the gorge. “Miror B, our boss, the town’s true mover and shaker, wishes you to have a gorgeous gift.”

Aha! So Miror B is in this! Wes thought to himself smugly.

“Wes, look,” whispered Rui, as the man came up to a large building with an enormous door. Above the door was a sign titled:


Dance House - Learn to Dance!
Free teddy bear for every membership purchased!

“Now I’m positive that we’re on the right track,” Wes muttered as he recalled Miror B’s dance moves when they had encountered him. Miror B must have used this place as his cover.

“So, we stay here until Johnson or Sherles show up?” Rui asked quietly.

“Yep, that was the plan… but where the hell are they?” replied Wes, looking around for any sign of them. Meanwhile, the man knocked on the door.

“Open up!” he called.

“First say the password,” replied a voice from inside.

“What password? There is no password!” exclaimed Wes’s and Rui’s guide in surprise.

“There is now. I thought there should be one, so I made it five minutes ago.”

“But… how the hell would I know it then?”

“…Fair enough,” conceded the voice. “It’s ‘open sesame’,” it added. A long pause followed the statement.

“Well, are you going to let me in, or what?” he asked, irritated.

“Are you going to say the password?”

“Oh, for crying out loud… OPEN SESAME!” shouted the man. At that, the door opened wide for him.

“Well, why didn’t you say so?” queried the voice. The owner of it turned out to be a woman, who was dressed in a remarkably similar style as the man.

Cipher must be a big team to have outfits like that, Wes mused. Team Snagem only gave you a crummy red jacket - which I never really wore - and a free haircut.

“What the hell was with that password nonsense, Sema?” demanded the man.

“Well, I thought it was a good idea Nore…” began Sema. “We had an intruder come in not so long ago… some kid with silver hair.”

“Really?”

“Yep - he was spouting some stuff about how we were jerks or something and that he wouldn’t allow us to take control of this town. Anyway, Ferma and Reath have him taken care of.”

Wes and Rui exchanged glances. Silva is here? That may change things… Wes considered.

“Well, that’s good,” answered Nore. “I’ve got the Colosseum Challenge winner here. Let’s present him with another Shadow Pokemon, and watch chaos be unleashed upon this pitiful town!” With that, the man laughed melodramatically. Wes raised his eyebrows - clearly Cipher’s people weren’t above announcing their plans in front of bystanders. It seemed that they had forgotten all about him and Rui.

“Hang on…” began the woman, frowning at Wes. “That’s… that’s that Wes guy that Miror B has been harping on about!” she accused, pointing at Wes.

“It is?” asked Nore, confused at this bit of news.

“Um, surely there’s some sort of mistake…” began Wes.

“YES! And you were stupid enough to let him in here!” cried Sema, grabbing a piece of paper from a nearby desk with Wes’s picture upon it. The words ‘WANTED BY CIPHER’ were printed underneath the image.

“Uh-oh,” Wes managed, slowly moving his hands to his belt where his Pokeballs were hanging off of.

“EVERYONE! GET DOWN HERE! WE HAVE A SITUATION!” Sema screamed. At this, a wave of people stumbled down a nearby flight of stairs.

“We have an intruder here!” shouted the female. “He brought down Team Snagem! Take him down!” she ordered.

“What, you hired all these guards?” Wes queried, trying to delay the inevitable. Where the hell is Johnson? Or Sherles for that matter? “I thought this was a dance school!”

“So you’d think!” exclaimed the woman. “But these are no customers – despite Miror B’s efforts, nobody here wants to learn how to dance! No, these are just a bunch of guards that we’ve employed so that this wouldn’t happen. Until someone let him right in!” Sema added, glaring at Nore.

“Hey, it’s not my fault!” retorted Nore. “I was just doing my job!”

“But… I’m here to learn how to dance…” one of the newcomers mumbled. “What’s going on here?”

“Silence!” she ordered, assuming charge. “If you get him, you can get a free lifetime membership!”

“Ok!”

“I’m afraid to say however, that you aren’t going to get very far,” she concluded confidently, turning back to Wes.

“I’m not too sure about that,” replied Wes. “Go, Espeon and Umbreon!” he said, tossing two Pokeballs into the space in front of the crowd.

“Umbre!?” (Umm… why all the people?) Umbreon asked as he materialised and glanced at the glares of the people.

“Never mind that,” began Wes. “Espeon – wipe their –”

Just then, Wes’s command was cut out by a shout and a person running straight into the room.

“There you are, Johnson!” exclaimed Wes. “And about time too.”

“Yes, I’m here to save the da – Arrgh!” cried Johnson, wrecking the moment as he tripped over one of his shoelaces. Unfortunately, the incoming Johnson clattered directly into Espeon.

“Esp-!” (What-) Espeon managed, before Johnson’s knee hit his head. Espeon slumped to the ground in pain.

“Oh, sorry, Espeon…” began Johnson.

“For crying out loud, you knocked him out!” cried Wes. “That’s just great.”

“Sorry…” apologised Johnson.

“What took you so long? And where’s Sherles?”

“Sherles… I don’t know where he is,” began Johnson. Wes slapped his head in frustration as Johnson tried to explain himself. “I got held up – I had to tie up my shoelace,” he insisted, pointing at his shoe. “Hang on, it’s untied again!”

“…Hang on, why the heck is Johnson here? Wait… first you turn on Team Snagem, and then you join the police?” cried the woman. “Absolutely bloody fantastic. We’re stopping you now – I’ve had it with all of these intruders! Guards, send out your Pokemon!”

On that command, various Pokemon were sent out by the guards and Nore, making the room even more cramped. A few dozen creatures faced Wes, who in turn sent out the remainder of his party. Wes gave a quick count – five against twenty-odd creatures of varying size and shape. This was looking like a very one-sided affair.

“Great, I love a challenge,” Wes sarcastically announced. “Rui, try to get Espeon awake.”

“Ok,” answered Rui, as she knelt down next to Espeon and pulled out a Revive out of her bag.

“Oh, I’m having none of that!” cried the woman. “And that’s our Shadow Pokemon you’ve got there as well!” she declared, recognizing the Pokemon Wes had sent out. Croconaw looked up at the angry woman.

“Croc!” (And you’re the annoying person who kept on whinging!)

“Makuhita!” (Prepare to die!)

“Ready guards? Att-”

Just then, a silhouette of a tall ungainly man appeared by the door. All looked at the newcomer as he sung in an overly loud and off-key voice.

“The wheelys on the busy… busier… bus go mound and round…”

“…Tom?” Wes asked incredulously.

“Hey-hey, dis isn’t my house…” Tom stated, confused. Then he noticed the tension between all in the room, and noticed the full-scale Pokemon battle about to start. “Did I come at a bad time?”

***

“So, Gonzap, finally decided to explain yourself?”

The image of a large man with the lack of any sort of facial hair scowled back at Nascour. The fool looked exhausted, and seemed to have set up camp somewhere far away from where Team’s Snagem’s base lied. Leastways, what was left remaining of Team Snagem’s former base.

“I told you before – it’s not my fault!”

“Oh really? I’m under the impression that your organisation - which you are in charge of - let one of your recruits single-handedly destroy your entire base. Not to mention that the vast majority of your group are either arrested or running for their lives, while both snag machines are destroyed.”

Gonzap growled. “Only one is destroyed – the other is simply in possession of that blasted boy.”

“Which is as good as destroyed, if not worse!” shouted Nascour. The tension between the two men was incredible – luckily they were communicating over a televised relay, as otherwise more than just strong words would have been exchanged.

“Do you know that that boy has weakened our stranglehold on this miserable land, because of your team? Because of your mishaps, our plan is now being delayed! You’re lucky that Cipher has decided to keep our ties with you, else you would no longer be functioning.”

“I’m well aware about your losses, Nascour. Believe me; I didn’t exactly plan to have my base blown up. We suffered far worse than you,” Gonzap replied, subconsciously rubbing his head where his eyebrows used to be. “At least they’re starting to grow back…” he muttered to himself.

“Did you at least manage to get the rest of the Pokemon out of there, or did they get lost too?” sneered Nascour.

“Of course! Mind you, maybe they would have been better off dead, considering where they’re being sent. I’ve sent the last batch we got to Ein – including a Skarmory that I got. That’s to be my Shadow Pokemon – understand?”

“Sure, whatever,” Nascour answered dismissively. “Talk to Ein about that. At least you didn’t let one teenager destroy everything. Just your base, and the Snag machines, and your reputation. Well, whatever reputation there was to begin with…”

“Now look here, you’d better pipe down,” responded Gonzap angrily.

“And what position are you in to say such things? It’s not me who’s struggling, it’s you. And you’d better hope that he doesn’t come back to finish his job.”

“If I were you, I’d be worried about him too,” snapped Gonzap.

“Oh? How so? In all likeliness, that Wes fellow has no idea about the existence of Cipher, let alone where our hideouts are located. I think we don’t have to fear much from him.”

“So how come he had been interfering with your operations in Phenac?”

That hurt. Stunned, Nascour’s confident attitude changed into one of shock, much like one a Wingull would give if it got a jolt of electricity.

“But, how did you know about that?”

Gonzap chuckled. “Oh, I have my ways. I also know that you still have no idea on his whereabouts, and that he rescued that girl that you were after as well,” Gonzap summarised, enjoying the look on Nascour’s face. “The thing is, I wouldn’t dismiss the kid - he may be as thin as a stick, but he thinks well on his feet, and doesn’t take much to push him into retaliation.” Gonzap winced as he thought back to the lead-up of the moment that his base had been destroyed - he had misjudged Wes, and had suffered the worst consequences imaginable.

Well, sure, he could have died, but life without Team Snagem at its former glory, or his prized eyebrows, just wasn’t the same.

“Right. I’ll be sure to think of that the next time he blows up one of our hideouts,” Nascour replied dryly, trying his best to cover up his surprise at Gonzap’s knowledge of Cipher’s going-ons. “Bye.”

With that, Nascour closed the transmission. He had enough with talking to Gonzap. Cipher had placed their trust in Team Snagem, and they had let all hell break loose within their base, allowing a mere teenager take them down in one fell swoop. And that same teenager had been messing up with Cipher’s doings.

What’s more, was the simple fact that Cipher’s beginnings had been similarly hampered by such an event, with a group used for support by Cipher being brought down from an equally, if not more unlikely, source. It had taken Cipher a good while to recover from such an event. But what happened to Team Snagem wasn’t going to affect Cipher this time, let alone occur to Cipher – such an outcome was too terrible - and probably too unlikely - to occur.

He’ll make sure of that.

***

Meanwhile, in a certain building in Pyrite that belonged to Cipher, all hell was breaking loose.

Tom’s arrival had surprised Cipher’s guards, not to mention his drunken behaviour which resulted in him hiding behind a nearby chair.

“ARRGHH! IT’S WORLD WAR FIVE!!!!!” he screamed. Needless to say, Cipher’s agents were somewhat startled by this random event. Wes, being somewhat more used to Tom’s antics, recovered the quickest, earning himself a few valuable seconds.

Makuhita started off the proceedings. He charged in fearlessly, and with a cry of ‘Die!’ punched the nearest opponent to him in the gut. The man doubled over in pain; surprised by the fact a Pokemon had attacked him.

“Good work, Makuhita,” acknowledged Wes, not minding whether human or Pokemon were taken out for the time being – either way, both were against him. He could worry about the consequences later. “Rui, can you send out your Pokemon?” he asked, as Umbreon and Croconaw caught on and sprang forward into attack, exploiting the distraction that Tom had provided. Misdreavus gave a ghostly giggle and joined the battle, latching onto a Hoothoot’s head. The unlucky bird Pokemon hooted in surprise and tried in vain to shake off the ghost type’s Bite attack.

“Sure, just a sec,” Rui called, applying the Revive to Espeon. She reached down into her bag and pulled out a handful of Pokeballs.

“Go, get them!” she called, before pulling off one of the most uncoordinated Pokeball releases ever seen. Five orbs flew wildly in the air in random directions. Wes instinctively ducked one that was centimetres from taking his head off.

“Fools! I’ll annihilate you myself with my Tyranitarrgh!” screamed the woman as a Pokeball hit her square in the nose. “Hey, watch where you’re throwing that!” she cried, before she stopped short, noticing a form materialise from the Pokeball that had just hit her.

Right above her head.

“Arrgh!!!”

In an instance, a large overweight Quagsire found itself standing on top of a struggling and unfortunate person, with a furious battle occurring around it. Try as she might, Sema could not budge the fat blue Pokemon off of her.

“Quag…sire” (Dah, you smell like peanuts,) Quagsire stated, leaning forward to examine the peon’s face. One look at Quagsire’s beady eyes and blank face, added to having it sit on top of her was simply too much for Sema, as she promptly passed out.

“Err… just stay there Quagsire,” Rui advised, peering at the woman’s downfall before turning back to Espeon. “Sorry about that!” she called to Sema.

“Quag!” (Ok!) Quagsire responded, before deciding to take a little nap.

Meanwhile, Johnson had decided to join the fray himself. As Croconaw barged an unfortunate guard out of the way, Johnson strode up to him and two Pokemon that had moved to assist him recover from the attack.

“I’ll beat you!” he cried confidently. The man looked up and smiled.

“Right. You think you, Johnson, can beat me? Attack, Magnemite and Remoraid!” he commanded.

“Oh yeah? Go, Magikarp!” replied Johnson. A fat flimsy-looking fish came out of Johnson’s Pokeball and flopped on the ground in response.

“Whe… it’s Karpador!” exclaimed Tom, still somewhat confused by the whole situation. He has somewhat recovered from his initial fear that the end of the world was nigh, but had decided to stay behind the safety of the chair. That didn’t last long however as a Pineco that had been thrown to the side by Makuhita flew right at the chair and reduced it to pieces.

“Oh no! It’s a…. thingy!” cried Tom before vigorously kicking the poor helpless Pokemon back in the opposite direction into someone’s head. “Why fighting dis on fis go?” he wailed nonsensically in fear.

“Erm, Johnson?” Wes began, noticing Johnson’s somewhat bold move of using a Magikarp in battle. “Eh, whatever. Try to hold him off for a few seconds at least…” he continued, seeing Johnson’s determined face to do something right. Wes turned back to his Pokemon and rallied them.

“Ok, that’s ridiculous - a Magikarp? Remoraid, use Water Gun!” shouted the guard. The small blue fish-Pokemon shot out a ball of water straight at Magikarp.

“Ok – use Splash!” commanded Johnson. Magikarp flopped even harder than before as the heavy ball of water approached. Within a split-second of impact, Magikarp randomly jumped up high into the air, surprisingly evading that attack.

“What? Oh, you just got lucky. Remoraid, again!”

Once more a Water Gun attack was fired, and again Magikarp completely avoided it.

“Now that’s not possible… Fine then, Magnemite, use Supersonic!”

The Magnemite emitted a sharp array of sounds and focused the waves of reverberations right at the Magikarp. Whether they had any effect or not was unclear, as the Magikarp seemed oblivious to the attack and continued to flop on the ground.

“Ok… oh, whatever. Use Thundershock!”

“Magnet!” (Destroy, Destroy!) beeped the small Pokemon, unleashing an impressive orb of electricity at Magikarp. It zipped right at the fat fish Pokemon, but once again Magikarp evaded the attack.

“What the… Thundershock again!”

“Now, Magikarp, use Tackle!”

It was unclear whether Magikarp had actually used Tackle and had charged at the Remoraid, or that it simply had randomly flopped forward at a surprisingly fast speed at the right time to knock Remoraid into the path of the Thundershock attack. Needless to say, the opposing trainer didn’t take to this outcome too kindly, letting loose half a dozen profanities that were appropriate for one who was getting beaten by a Magikarp.

Meanwhile, Umbreon faced down three of one of the guard’s Pokemon at once - a Larvitar - a small olive-coloured animal, a Carvanha - a tropical looking red and blue fish with ferocious teeth, and a Barboach.

“Carvanha!” (I’m going to eat you!) announced the fish, baring its teeth.

“Larvitar!” (I’m going to poke you!) the Larvitar shouted, feeling confident with a three-on-one advantage.

“Barboach!” (I’m going to…shake my tail at you!) began Barboach, earning a glance from the other two Pokemon.

“Umbreon!” (We’ll see about that!) retorted Umbreon. “Umb!” (Take this!) he cried, before firing a Secret Power attack at Carvanha. Still distracted by Barboach’s comment, it gave a cry of surprise as the attack made contact. Electrical pulses spread across the fish’s body, and as it shook them off, it got hit by Umbreon’s charging Tackle, knocking it out.

“Umb!” (One down!)

“No way! Larvitar, Bite! Barboach, distract Umbreon with Water Gun!” commanded the Pokemon’s trainer. Larvitar snarled and charged at Umbreon, as Barboach charged up a Water Gun attack.

“Umbreon!” (Oh, too easy! Maybe you’d want to not announce your tactics to me,) drawled Umbreon. While Larvitar was coming, Barboach would simply stop Umbreon avoiding the attack it by aiming at him with Water Gun. Umbreon solved the dilemma by shifting to the side a tad, making the stubborn Larvitar switch routes. Now Larvitar was directly in line of the attack.

“Bar Barboach!” (Hey, get out of the way! I’m charging my Water Gun here!) shouted Barboach.

“Lar?” (I am?) asked Larvitar, glancing back to see that Barboach was right. When he turned back to Umbreon however, he was gone.

“Lar…” (Where is he?)

“Umbreon!” (Right behind you!) answered Umbreon, before striking the Pokemon with a perfectly-timed Faint Attack. He followed up with a painful Bite attack to the Pokemon’s lower body, leaving Larvitar down for the count.

“Umb!” (Two down!) announced Umbreon, before jumping to the side to avoid the Water Gun attack from Barboach. “Umbreon!” (You’re mine!) he shouted, suddenly charging at the trembling Barboach.

“Maku!” (Dieee!) shouted Makuhita from nearby. Makuhita made it to Barboach first, knocking it out in one hit.

“Umb!” (Hey, that was my one!) cried Umbreon in protest as the Pokemon’s trainer sadly returned his Pokemon to their Pokeballs, defeated. Then he cried in pain as Makuhita punched him in the shin.

“Maku! Hita Hita!” (You were too slow! Now, OUT OF MY WAY! MUST KILL!) shouted Makuhita, charging at another Pokemon.

“Umbreon…” (Well, I’d give him an ‘A’ for enthusiasm, that’s for sure,) murmured Umbreon, before joining the fray once again.

“Good work Croconaw!” cried Wes, watching as an unfortunate Tailow succumbed to a tremendous Shadow Rush attack.

“Croc?” (Really? Wow…) replied Croconaw, surprised at the compliment he just received.

“Yep - that was great. Keep it up!” encouraged Wes. Croconaw stared at Wes’s unexpected praise. Bluno hadn’t said such things to him - instead, he talked about interest rates and lawyers. Bluno always got easily distracted… suddenly; Croconaw’s mind was made up. Wes wasn’t so bad.

“Croconaw!” (This is for making Wes angry!) cried Croconaw.

Suddenly, the ground started shaking as a rush of water erupted from deep below the ground. Wes glimpsed a large hole in the floor from where the water ran from, which was now merging into a massive wave. Wes’s Pokemon noticed the looming danger and quickly scampered to the other side of the room. Luckily, Makuhita was busy tormenting a Cacnea behind the wave, for otherwise it probably wouldn’t have noticed the impeding danger. A few other Cipher agents and their Pokemon were also safely out of the way, including Johnson’s rival, but the majority were in the wrong place in the wrong time.

“Croc…o….naw!” (Water!) Croconaw shouted, before letting the wall of liquid fall straight on top of Cipher’s goons.

“Umbreon!” (Now that’s a Surf attack!) commented Umbreon, watching the swirling mass of fluid drench all within range of the attack. Most of the remaining Pokemon that hadn’t fainted from the battle lost consciousness right then and there.

“Oh no! It’s a…. a… watery mortery… wet!” cried Tom as he too got caught by the water. “Splish Splash Sploshy!” he cried. Just then, the door opened once again.

“I have a delivery of extra-glazed raspberry-flavoured jam doughnuts here… oh c-” began another newcomer. The delivery man was cut short as the mass of water escaped through the opening right into him.

“Fantastic!” cried Wes. “That was… brilliant!” The battle field had been practically cleared up now, with all of the guard’s Pokemon defeated. Croconaw beamed with pride at his new attack, although something told him that he knew it beforehand.

“You can stop punching things now Makuhita,” Wes added.

“Maku…” (Do I have to?) Makuhita asked, as he stopped punching a defenceless door.

“How… dare you!” cried Nore who struggled to his feet coughing out water, interrupting Wes’s thoughts. “You may have won the battle, but… well…” trailed off Nore, realising that there wasn’t much of a way to put a positive spin on things. “Well, damn you! I’ll go to my last resort - go, Yanma!”

Nore managed to send out a Pokemon. It resembled a giant overgrown dragonfly, with massive bug-out eyes. It darted quickly from side to side very rapidly - it was astonishing that a thing that size could move so quickly.

“Yanyanayanma!” (I-must-win-I-must-win-win-win-win-win-win!) it jabbered.

“Umbre?” (What did you say?) asked Umbreon, unable to catch on to what Yanma just said.

“Maku!” (I’ll destroy you!) cried Makuhita, charging at it before realising that it was gone. “Maku!” (Where’d you go?)

“Yanma!” (I-go-fast-so-I-can-win-win-win!) buzzed the Yanma, as it zipped around the room bumping into Wes’s Pokemon one at a time.

“Umb!” (Ow!)

“Croc!” (Ah!)

“Maku!” (Ouch! Stupid buzzy thing!)

It’s so quick… thought Wes. It’ll be hard for my Pokemon to hit it…

“Wes!” called Rui suddenly. “It’s a Shadow Pokemon - I can see its aura!”

“It is? Well, that makes things even harder…”

“Oh, you won’t be snagging that Pokemon for a long while,” laughed Nore. “See, I had given it some coffee beforehand. It’s so hyper, you’ll never catch it!”

“Yanma!” (Coffee-coffee-coffee-coffee-coffee!) confirmed Yanma, flying even faster than before. It literally looked like a blur moving from one end of the room to the other, striking Wes’s Pokemon with each new cry of ‘coffee!”.

“Get them Yanma!” called Nore. “Wait… don’t stay in one place… what?” Nore was suddenly confused - Yanma seemed to be stuck in a small confined space, bouncing off an invisible wall.

“Yan? Yananyanyanyan!” (Oh-no-it’s-like-a-force-field-I-hate-force-fields-maybe-now-ow-maybe-now-ow-maybe-now-or-now-or-now!) Yanma jabbered, bouncing off in every direction.

“What the… that’s odd,” commented Wes. “Who did that?”

“Espi!” (I’m feeling better now! No thanks to Johnson though…) exclaimed Espeon.

“It took him a while to come to,” Rui said. “Johnson must have hit him hard on the head.”

“Esp…” (Too right… it was like a super-effective hit!)

“Oh, you’re better now! Well, good work on trapping that Yanma,” complimented Wes, watching Yanma bounce off the Reflect attack over and over again. Within half a minute it slumped to the ground, exhausted.

“Yan…” (Coffee…) it moaned in pain.

“Esp! Espeon!” (Well, what are you waiting for? Snag it!) urged Espeon. (I’ve removed the force field.)

“Ok then,” Wes acknowledged, inserting a Pokeball into the Snag machine.

“No!” cried Nore, but it was too late - three shakes of the Pokeball later and the Yanma was in Wes’s possession.

“Yes!” cried Rui. “We’ve done it!”

“Not if I can help it!” shouted Nore, diving to grab the Pokeball. Just before he grabbed it however, it moved out of his reach, hit him firmly on the head, and travelled straight into Wes’s grasp.

“Esp!” (I’m definitely feeling better now!) announced Espeon.

“Now that is cool…” muttered Wes, impressed with the trick. Nore however wasn’t, as he clutched his head and moaned.

“Hang on,” interrupted Rui, “is Johnson still battling?”

Wes looked into one deserted corner of the room - Johnson indeed was still battling the same trainer.

“Why won’t you just die!?” shouted the guard in frustration. “I’ve had enough of this! Magnemite - Spark! Remoraid… just try to hit it!”

Both Pokemon, looking rather battered, charged at Magikarp with their respective attacks.

“Now, Magikarp - jump up and use Flail!”

Impossibly, Magikarp again jumped at the right time to evade both Magnemite’s and Remoraid’s simultaneous attacks as they collided with each other.

“Magnet! (I am error!) beeped Magnemite as Remoraid’s tail struck it.

“Rem!” (Pain!) cried Remoraid as the electrical pulses on Magnemite’s body transferred to Remoraid.

As Magikarp returned back to the ground and landed on top of the two Pokemon, it flailed its entire body vigorously, slapping both Remoraid and Magnemite multiple times it its tail. Whether it was the pain, or the sheer humiliation of being bested by a Magikarp that did it remained a mystery as both Remoraid and Magnemite succumbed and fainted.

“Johnson… did you just…” began Wes, his mouth gaping at the remarkable victory.

“I told you that I’d save the day,” boasted Johnson. “Good job Magikarp!”

“Magi!” (Flopping is fun!)

“Oh, that’s beyond ridiculous!” cried Nore. “You’re telling me that we got defeated by a Magikarp? And JOHNSON’S Magikarp to boot? I’m outta here!” he exclaimed, making a run for the door. Unfortunately for Nore, he found the door blocked and ran straight into a person. Before he knew what had happened, he found himself firmly handcuffed.

“Err… well, hello there, Sherles,” Nore began uneasily.

“About time Sherles,” greeted Wes. “What took you so long?”

“Well, Duking and I had lost sight of you two for a moment, but Johnson spotted you. The trouble was that he ran after you so quickly that we lost sight of him too. He didn’t even tell us where you went! We had no idea where you where,” confessed Sherles, with an occasional glance to a blushing Johnson.

“How did you find us then?” Rui asked.

“Oh, just a hunch,” replied Sherles, glancing through the door. Wes followed his gaze and saw where Sherles had gotten his ‘hunch’ from. A bunch of Cipher guards and Pokemon had been spewed outside by the Surf attack, which had created a mini-lake just by the door. Duking was outside, dragging the Cipher guards to their feet and none too kindly handcuffed them all himself.

“Oh dear…” whispered Rui, realising at some were more than a bit ruffed up.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about them,” consoled Duking. “After they kidnapped Plusle, they deserve everything they get, the dirty foul smelling…”

“Yes, yes, that’s enough,” hurried Sherles. “Get them safely into the cells - we can question them later. Me, Johnson, Wes and Rui will move on, and try to clear out the whole bunch.”

“Ok then,” Duking gruffly responded. “Just make sure that Plusle… doesn’t get badly hurt or anything.”

“We’ll try our best,” answered Wes.

“Appreciate it, Wes. Hope to see you soon,” acknowledged Duking, as he frog-marched the bewildered and battered Cipher guards.

“So… what did happen here?” Sherles asked. “Decided to renovate Cipher’s place as well as Team Snagem’s?”

“You could say that…” Wes shrewdly smiled.

“Ah! It’s you, Sherlock!” cried Tom suddenly, appearing from behind a staircase. He ran up and hugged Sherles in relief that the Sheriff of Pyrite had arrived.

“Err… hello there,” Sherles responded, somewhat surprised.

“Oh, it wis horribles! There was a lot of persons, and a lot of Pokeypeople as well, and they were flighting and then there was a giant pineapple as well! Lots of… thingys happened! And then wet stuff appeared! It made me very berry wet,” sobbed Tom.

“Yes, that’s very nice,” interrupted Sherles “but what are you doing here?”

“He just… randomly walked in,” answered Wes.

“Wait - he just walking into Cipher’s hideout - just like that?”

“Oh, Sherley, it was the wurst tim of me life! I swear, I’ll never mever hever kever sleaver mrinky drink again! Ever! I swore it on all of teh smazzules in da world!”

“Espeon!” (Oh, I wouldn’t make a promise I can’t keep…) Espeon muttered. “Espeon!” (Hey, did you hear that?) Espeon added suddenly.

“Umbreon!” (Yes, we heard your ever-so-intelligent comment,) Umbreon answered.

“Espi…” (No, not that… listen closely!) Espeon urged. The room fell silent, with the exception of Tom who kept moaning about his terrible time that he had just experienced. Wes frowned - a faint cry of ‘Help!’ could be heard several floors above.

“Hey,” began Sherles, “that sounds like… Silva?”

“Oh no - he must be in trouble!” cried Rui, as she sprinted off and up the staircase.

“…Guess we’d better follow her,” shrugged Wes, doing just so. Sherles followed, with Tom right behind him, seeking safety behind the gruff Sherriff.

“I’m coming too!” called Johnson, before scooping down to pick something up. “What’s this... a CD? An Ein File? Eh, whatever,” he mumbled as he pocketed it and followed Wes and Sherles up the stairs.

***



I hope you enjoyed that. I’ve put a fair bit of time into thinking out this chapter, and planning the events. And yes, Tom reappeared again.

Now for the spoilers about how this relates to what occurs in the game:
Spoiler:

Hideout - Cipher’s Hideout isn’t too hard to find - it’s then only building that you can’t go inside, and a cut-scene shows Miror B talking to Nascour inside that building. It’s got dozens of people within it, so how does one get in? By having one of their guards take you right in, that’s how! Nothing like NPC stupidness to not recognize you… however, only AFTER they bring you in do they realize their mistake.

The battles/battlers - the guy you brings you in (Nore) first battles you, and has the Shadow Yanma. Sema simply goes away, although you can battle her further within the ‘hideout’. She doesn’t have a ‘Tyranitarrgh’ however…
The other battlers will battle you one by one, when you walk directly past them. Which is incredibly unrealistic. Hence why they all battle Wes at once. However, more trainers are within the hideout.
Here are the ones that would normally be seen up to this point:
BATTLES:
Cipher Peon Nore - Shadow Yanma, Pinco, Nincada, Surskit.
Chaser Kal - Trapinch, phanphy
Rollar boy Pike - Hoothoot, Tailow
Bandana Guy Geats - Larvitar, Carvanha, Barboach
Hunter Geare - Remoraid, Magnemite
Bandana guy Loba - Wingull, Wopper
Body Builder Akmen - Electrike, Voltorb
Rider Raleen - Doduo, Ledyba, Swablu
Hunter Tura - Spheal, Snorrunt
Body Builder Elidi - Tentacool, Cacnea
Cipher Peon Sema - Spheal, Lileep, Dustox
After the first battle, Duking and his children will run in, talk to you, and run out again, letting you save Plusle for them. How nice of them.
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Last edited by bobandbill; April 11th, 2008 at 01:46 AM.
  #52    
Old April 11th, 2008, 12:05 PM
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One grammatical problem--but it may be the Aussie English thing--

Quote:
Gonzap summarised, enjoying the look on Nascour’s face.
In America, we spell it "summarized".
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  #53    
Old April 12th, 2008, 07:02 AM
Minos Yewman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinobitrainer View Post
One grammatical problem--but it may be the Aussie English thing--


In America, we spell it "summarized".
That's actually an American English thing. American English spells it with a 'z', while it is spelt with an 's' in normal English. There are several other words like this.

About the chapter: I love how Johnson beats them with just a Magikarp. On the downside: Two weeks!!!! I can't wait that long!
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  #54    
Old April 13th, 2008, 01:56 AM
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So, guess who finally got around to review? I had a few brief minutes to read a chapter, and so this review will only cover the first chapter. Sorry. At some point (perhaps in the summer), I can get caught up faster.

First of all, let me just say that I like the fact that you're exploring more of Colosseum with a humorous twist. Colosseum had a good storyline, but as you noticed, there certainly were some plot holes!

Now for a few things that I noticed.

The Skarmory: You say that the Skarmory is male, and then whenever he's mentioned, the pronoun you use is either "it" or "he". If he has a gender, then use the correct pronouns all the time for him. Like here:

Quote:
Startled, he flew around several times screeching about the indignantly of being so greatly disturbed before it could eat its meal.
Those "its" should be "hes", since it seems as if you want to give Skarm a gender.

And I spotted just two small mistakes:
Quote:
Serves them right thought Wes.
Forgot the comma after "right".

Quote:
a couple of Max Revives here, some full heals there
Since you had capitalized "Max Revives", I would figure that you would do the same for "Full Heals", since that is the name for a particular medicine.

The best part about this chapter? Gonzap and his burnt mustache and eyebrows! I can just picture him using that as the main excuse for chasing after Wes for revenge!
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  #55    
Old April 13th, 2008, 06:11 AM
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Elite Overlord LeSabre™
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Because you're officially at the same place with your fic on both Sppf and here, I took all my reviews from the green place, took out the grammar parts (because I figured you had corrected them), smushed them together, and came up with this extra-long review below. Because I'm lazy xD

Prologue:
Quote:
all the trouble started when that good-for-nothing stupid man with funny pointy hair coming out from around his nose and eyes showed up
Best. Gonzap. Description. Evar.

Chapter 2:
Quote:
Meanwhile Rui ever so causally stuck out her foot, resulting in Lady Gwin having a squashed nose.
The snob deserved that XD

Chapter 3
Quote:
The ‘IT’ in question gave a dazzling smile.

“Hello madam! Is this the mayor’s house?” ‘IT’ asked.

Unfortunately, it received no answer - the old lady had fainted in shock.
ZOMG Miror B. used Faint Attack!

Quote:
Maybe it was strange that a man with a giant Pokeball-themed afro and a snazzy bright yellow outfit with matching shoes was threatening them, but it worked to perfection.
Meh, I wouldn't say "threatening" as much as I would say "weirding them out." I'd be worried what kind of bizarre punishment someone like him would dish out...

Chapter 4:
Quote:
Not that he cared - Trudly had been too dumb to know his left hand from his right. Stupid Trudly.
Boy, ain't that the truth. Unfortunately he seems like an honor student when compared to Johnson...

Chapter 6:
Quote:
Half an hour of explaining later…

“So, they’re good guys. Or are they bad?

“NO! I told you for the 12th time!” cried Sherles. Wes and Rui were watching the whole time, seeing how far Johnson’s thinking capabilities stretched. It wasn’t very far.

“So they are bad?”

Sherles slapped his own head in exasperation.
Quote:
“Oh, no need to bother, boss. Me and my trusty Magikarp will save the day!” announced Johnson confidently. Needless to say, neither Sherles nor Wes bothered to point out that a Pokemon that only knows Splash would probably not be able to stand up to two criminal syndicates.
...See what I mean? XD Too bad Sherles can't find someone of decent intelligence to replace him...

Quote:
but Miror B was too absorbed in dancing to a salsa beat that played itself over and over again, yet never seemed boring
Quote:
Does the Miror B. theme ever get boring? I think not.
“Fwhohoho - this is perking up my spirit baby! Oh, I almost fell like… dancing! It’s afro-tastic!” cried Miror B, before pulling of a dance move, making Reath, Ferma and Nascour cringe. Worse yet, he even began to hum the tune of ‘You should be dancing’ by the Bee gees' - many a person who heard a rendition of that song by Miror B ended up having the tune stuck in their head for days.
Afro-tastic FTW! I bet the guy's a huge hit at disco karaoke parties too!

Chapter 7:
Quote:
“When I grow up, I want to be a Plusle,” continued the child.
I think the kid needs to aspire to something greater- like maybe replacing Johnson when he gets older?

Quote:
most chose the ‘Happy Friendly Money Lenders’ as the source.”
Oh, there's a name I can trust *dripping sarcasm*

Quote:
a young kid on roller blades continuously singing about how battles gave him a lot of joy and calling Wes a ‘little boy’.
That kid ticked me off too. Especially since Wes is clearly bigger than him.

Quote:
“Someone’s in trouble!” cried Johnson. “I’LL SAVE YOOOUUU!” he shouted, running out of the room and straight into a wall, forgetting that he couldn’t see anything. “Oww!”
Ah, good 'ol Johnson. He never ceases to amuse with his unmatched stupidity.

Heck yeah, this is enjoyable! Not only brings back some nice memories of my days playing Colo (before my brother went and forgot his Gamecube somewhere), but it's as funny as heck. And with Johnson, you have done what I thought was impossible- create a character even stupider than Ash Ketchum!

Yeah, descriptions are a bit lacking in parts, but, really, this fic's not about that, it's about taking a fresh, unique look at an existing game and exploiting its plotholes in humorous fashion. And in that regard, it does a very good job at that. For some reason I really look forward to your portrayal of Ein, with him being my favorite admin (of both Colo and XD). Miror B. comes in second, BTW.

Chapter 8:
Quote:
“Hey! Little help here, people?” a muffled voice sounded from the fridge.
Wait, Johnson actually has the brains to want to get out instead of mistaking it for Santa's workshop or something?

Quote:
“There are two things that I hate - people who are constantly late, and people who have giant afros and strange obsessions with Ludicolos, dancing and music that just loops!”
Hey, the afro is awesome. So's the music. And the dancing. As for the Ludicolo obsession - well, I'll give her that.

Quote:
“Why, what’s wrong with the tune, don’t you know that I need to, listen to my music, even if you hate it!” retorted Miror B.

“Well, for starters, you just said that sentence to the song’s tune!” pointed out Reath.
Catchiest. Villain. Theme. Evar.

Quote:
No amount of music or help from his Ludicolos helped in the slightest. Some Shadow Pokemon - the other Administrators got way better Pokemon than him.
Well, it is true that his Shadow Pokemon sucks compared to the others (and it mostly sucks in general, to be honest.) However:
[SPOILER="For the non-Colosseum players out there"]The legendary dogs/cats/gerbils can't dance all that well, either[/SPOILER]

Quote:
“Shrew!” (I hate sand!) protested the small Pokemon as the particles started merging into bigger clumps just before they collided with the unfortunate shrew Pokemon.
I find it quite ironic that a SANDshrew would say that it hates sand XD

Quote:
“Next up, we have… Tom!” shouted Duking. “A normal name for a change,” he added to himself.
ZOMG Not a normal name in a Colosseum game! :O

Quote:
“Espi…” (No, they really are drunk…)

“Umbre…” (I wonder what beer tastes like…) Umbreon wondered.
Remember kids, alcohol abuse is bad. It makes you lose battles and look like a n00b while losing.

Quote:
“Maku! Hita Hita Makuhita!” (Dirty trick! Exploding presents must suffer!)
LOL the stupid bird got what was coming to it.

Yeah, everybody loves Miror B and Tom the random drunk dude (well, except maybe that guy Vilch who got beaten up LOL). Another awesome chapter. I probably could've quoted all of Tom's drunken ramblings as LOL highlights, but I figured I quoted enough as it is. I also liked having the Colosseum game guide on sale at the store- wonder what would've happened if Wes DID buy it (OMGMAJORSPOILER)

Don't know what else to say, except great work and I actually blasted the Miror B salsa theme from my computer's speakers. Oh, and I almost fell out of my seat when Tom made his not so grand entrance.

Chapter 9:
Well, I was hoping that we wouldn't have to see every single hideout battle, so thanks for the big ambush. Plus, with Cipher's oh-so-convenient healing machine right there, it makes no sense to wait for Wes, as he would then just be able to refresh his team before every battle.

And everyone's favorite town drunk once again stumbles his way into a fine mess of a situation.
Quote:
Then he noticed the tension between all in the room, and noticed the full-scale Pokemon battle about to start. “Did I come at a bad time?”
Drunk as he is, at least Tom realizes that something bad IS about to go down...

Quote:
subconsciously rubbing his head where his eyebrows used to be. “At least they’re starting to grow back…” he muttered to himself.
See, Gonzap, always look on the bright side xD

Quote:
“Oh, you won’t be snagging that Pokemon for a long while,” laughed Nore. “See, I had given it some coffee beforehand. It’s so hyper, you’ll never catch it!”
Coffee+Pokemon=Hilarity+Trouble. Nore's probably got the thing addicted to coffee now, so I can see Wes either putting up with Yanma's coffee withdrawal, or having to give it the caffeine and putting up with the ensuing hyperness. Nice going, Nore.

At least it explains Speed Boost, lol.

Quote:
“Oh, that’s beyond ridiculous!” cried Nore. “You’re telling me that we got defeated by a Magikarp? And JOHNSON’S Magikarp to boot?
Methinks we have a new winner for "Most Pathetic Way to Lose a Pokemon Battle." Even worse than having Tom beat you up in the restroom beforehand.

Quote:
“Oh, Sherley, it was the wurst tim of me life! I swear, I’ll never mever hever kever sleaver mrinky drink again! Ever! I swore it on all of teh smazzules in da world!”

“Espeon!” (Oh, I wouldn’t make a promise I can’t keep…)
Have to agree with Espeon here. besides, if Tom didn't have his Jack Daniels/Captain Morgan's/whatever the heck he drinks, well... he just wouldn't be the same Tom we all know and love.

I repeat, TOM CANNOT GO SOBER! EVAR!

The battle did go by a bit quickly, and with any other fic I would have a problem with a single Surf pwning almost everyone. But in this case, I don't mind, especially since it means Miror B. will appear that much faster.

One thing I would like an explanation for is how Remoraid/Carvahna/etc can hover in midair. It's always struck me as weird in ALL the N64/GCN games (and PBR as well).

And yay on the Gonzap/Nascour conversation. It nicely shows that already Wes is causing tensions between Cipher and Snagem (and this would eventually bite Cipher in the butt in XD ).

Don't really know whether the highlight for this chapter was Tom's drunken ranting or Johnson pwning with Magikarp. Either way, I enjoyed the frantic free-for all and Miror B.'s next appearance now excites me.
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  #56    
Old April 13th, 2008, 03:34 PM
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Chapter nine was grand. I think the teddy bear offer was hilarious. The battles against the guards were also hilarious.
  #57    
Old April 14th, 2008, 11:33 AM
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Again, keep the greatness coming. And btw:

Quote:
One thing I would like an explanation for is how Remoraid/Carvahna/etc can hover in midair. It's always struck me as weird in ALL the N64/GCN games (and PBR as well).
He makes a good point. I too would like to see that.
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  #58    
Old April 14th, 2008, 11:44 AM
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nice job, congratulation for your fiction
  #59    
Old April 14th, 2008, 11:53 AM
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If you wouldn't mind, can you check out my fanfic as well, called Roy's Pokemon Quest?
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  #60    
Old April 18th, 2008, 01:46 AM
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bobandbill
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Now back from my crazy week-long holiday... and now some time to get back to work. Firstly, some responses to reviews for now (as you've all been waiting):
Spoiler:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinobitrainer View Post
One grammatical problem--but it may be the Aussie English thing--
In America, we spell it "summarized".
As Minos Yewman said - it be an Aussie-english thing... of sorts. Both z and s are known to be used for words such as this, we use the 'proper' english way of the s. Convert or else!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minos Yewman View Post
That's actually an American English thing. American English spells it with a 'z', while it is spelt with an 's' in normal English. There are several other words like this.

About the chapter: I love how Johnson beats them with just a Magikarp. On the downside: Two weeks!!!! I can't wait that long!
Thanks a lot. I had thought up the Magikarp victory part a fair bit beforehand that chapter. One the two weeks - too bad. It's been more than a month already... just been thogh for me - no time, and for some reason or another the hardest for me to write. Oh well - within a week I shall hopefully have it donw - certainly before the end of holidays.
BTW - how is your fic going (or have I missed it...)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astinus View Post
So, guess who finally got around to review? I had a few brief minutes to read a chapter, and so this review will only cover the first chapter. Sorry. At some point (perhaps in the summer), I can get caught up faster.

First of all, let me just say that I like the fact that you're exploring more of Colosseum with a humorous twist. Colosseum had a good storyline, but as you noticed, there certainly were some plot holes!

Now for a few things that I noticed.

The Skarmory: You say that the Skarmory is male, and then whenever he's mentioned, the pronoun you use is either "it" or "he". If he has a gender, then use the correct pronouns all the time for him. Like here:


Those "its" should be "hes", since it seems as if you want to give Skarm a gender.

And I spotted just two small mistakes:

Forgot the comma after "right".


Since you had capitalized "Max Revives", I would figure that you would do the same for "Full Heals", since that is the name for a particular medicine.

The best part about this chapter? Gonzap and his burnt mustache and eyebrows! I can just picture him using that as the main excuse for chasing after Wes for revenge!
Thanks a lot! I need critique for the first few chapters, as I didn't get that much for the first few compared to the last few. So yeah, thanks. There will be more comedy for you to enjoy later on, I assure you... one the first few chapters, am considering changing it a bit more, adding more depth and description perhapes as my fic doesn't focus on them, but I have been pondering on adding a bit more to it... after I've done the next chapter but.

The 'it and he' issue is a good one - thanks for that in particular. It has been changed after a fair bit of finding and replacing manually to make sure I didn't screw it up further. There may be some mistakes on punctuation on thoughts later on as well... but I'm not sure - have been unable to find them. Or I've missed them upon transferring them over here... and have capitilised the item. Bleh, inconsistancy.

I look forward to another one in due course - as I said before, don't rush it - I can wait easily.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Espreon View Post
Chapter nine was grand. I think the teddy bear offer was hilarious. The battles against the guards were also hilarious.
Thanks a lot - glad you liked it again, as usual.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinobitrainer View Post
Again, keep the greatness coming. And btw:
He makes a good point. I too would like to see that.
That one... is a though one for me actually - am stuck on that one... is a thing consistant in all games anyway (bar Magikarp and maybe some others), but still noticable... have mentioned that barboach in 8th chapter summeded a small pool of water, but might again use that in more depth, or come with something new... if I can.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sebastien Loeb View Post
nice job, congratulation for your fiction
Thanks.
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  #61    
Old April 18th, 2008, 11:28 AM
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Still funny as hell, though.
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  #62    
Old April 21st, 2008, 06:33 PM
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Well I've done the next chapter - came quicker than I expected. Here we go!

***

Chapter 10 - Singing Galore!

Doken woke up with a jolt, and looked around anxiously, before relaxing against the wall that he had leaned on. He had been taking a quick power-nap, but had been interrupted from a dream – which strangely enough involved giant slabs of cheese wanting to teach him the polka – by loud noises from the lower levels.

Stupid dancers… why do they have to make so much noise? One would think that they were having a massive Pokemon battle, not a dance lesson… pondered Doken as he glared downwards, as if he could see through the multiple floor levels below.

The set-up here was very odd. After all, what kind of dance school needed guards? Doken knew at least twenty other people had been given the same job as him - to guard the premises and make sure that nobody without ID were allowed past into the cave.

The guy (at least, Doken assumed it was a guy) that employed them was strange as well, and that was putting it mildly. He always walked with some music playing out loudly from a radio, often sung out instructions to the tune, and possessed a large ball of hair on top of his head. Talking with him was very odd, as Doken found himself talking to the tune of the music as well if he didn’t try to resist, and the afro that Miror B - what the guy insisted was his real name - sported was somewhat distracting.

At least the weirdo had a good choice of music.

And more importantly, he paid generously as well. That was the golden rule of business, as Doken had learned in his days as working as a guard - if you wanted your employees to keep quiet, give them money. There was no arguing with that sort of logic, and Doken stuck by that rule - no point finding out things that you didn’t want to know.

He had even been given a special ‘Shadow’ Pokemon as a ‘bonus’, although Doken wasn’t all that impressed by it. It was a Qwilfish - a small ball-shaped fish Pokemon that instantly puffed itself up at any sign of danger, revealing a large array of small yet sharp and poisonous spikes. However, it was just too aggressive - the Pokemon insisted on trying to attack any Pokemon that it saw; including Doken's own Pokemon during the battles that he and the other guards had during the breaks, with bets made to make it that much more interesting. Which was somewhat annoying, as having your own Pokemon attack themselves wasn’t much of an advantage in battles. Already Doken had earned a nickname amongst his work mates, thanks to Qwilfish’s contributions: Moneybags.

Not that it particularly mattered – Doken’s pay far exceeded his losses, as he had a higher role than most of his fellow workmates – he had control of the lower part of the building’s guards. It was so much easier to let them do the work instead of doing it himself.

The guard’s thoughts just then were interrupted by the sound of people racing up the stairs. Sounds like the dance class is over, thought Doken.

“I.D. please,” said Doken in a bored tone. He was surprised however, instead of seeing one of his workmates appear, see a young yet determined teenager stomp up the stairs and face him down.

“Where’s Miror B?” demanded the girl.

Oh dear, this isn’t good… thought Doken worriedly. Whenever someone asked for someone in that tone of voice, they also meant ‘or else’. But coming from such a person as this girl…

“How did you get through here? Halt, or we will take action if you come past this point!” Doken said, as he moved his hand to his back pocket where an object that each guard had was in, and pressed the ‘silent alarm’ button upon it.

Heh, soon a whole bunch of guards should show up and do the work for me, thought Doken confidently, leaning back against the wall. I love modern technology. The girl didn’t seem all that intimidated by Doken's self-assurance however, and continued forward.

Yep, they’re going to show up any second now.

...Anytime time – I mean, now.

Still the girl kept coming.

Um… where the hell are they?

“Out of my way!” she yelled, suddenly striking out with her foot and making contact with the guard’s shin.

“Oww! Hey, stop that!” cried Doken. How dare she attack me! he thought furiously, reaching back and pressing the silent alarm button a few more times for good measure, keeping his eye on the crazy girl all the while. Doken decided that it would be wise to stand a bit back from her – his throbbing shin wholeheartedly agreed.

“I’m warning you – you’d better leave now, or the rest of the guards shall show up and give you a reason to!” he tried, trying the good-old scare tactic again. The girl just frowned at this however.

“Um... there are ghosts ahead!’ he tried. “Oohhh!” He backed up his statement by making wild scary gestures.

The girl didn’t look convinced.

“Maybe, you should be the one that should leave,” she retorted with a smile.

“I doubt that,” snapped Doken, but deep inside doubt began to creep in. His contingent was never this late for anything, even if half of them were lazy slobs. And anyway, how did this girl get past them without being noticed?

Then Doken heard more running steps come.

“Aha, I told you… you!?!” Doken exclaimed in surprise as Tom came up the stairs and into view.

“Ayeiei… look at all the antsys!” slurred Tom, looking over the edge of the building to Pyrite Town below, pointing at the people walking around minding their own business.

Ignoring Tom’s comment, Doken continued to gape at him, as he took a swing from a bottle.

Tom. The town drunk - well, one of them anyway - had come here. But how… surely the other guards wouldn’t have failed to notice him, the loud rambling fool. Unless…

Doken's fears were confirmed as another figure came into view as well, approached him, and flashed the police badge.

“You’re under arrest.”

“Oh, breadcrumbs.”

***

Meanwhile, Silva was starting to rethink his plan on taking on the criminals.

Basically, it had consisted of walking in and kicking those people’s butts. In slightly more detail - he had planned to come in, shout at them, beat them up, go in further, take on ‘The Leader’ (whoever he was), own him, tell him to leave Duking alone, and then help Duking bring the town back into order again.

Unfortunately, it hadn’t gone quite as he had hoped it would have.

He got in easily enough all right – he had slipped through the door when one of the guards went in. He got past him as well effortlessly, and had succeeded in breaking a random machine by kicking it.

However, it seemed that shouting at them to stop taking over the town hadn’t been one of the smartest things to do. All it had achieved was getting their attention, which turned out to be a bad thing.

And falling over a vengeful and badly-beaten machine, and twisting his right ankle, hadn’t help matters in the slightest.

In the end, Silva had been captured in far less grace than what he had envisioned it to be like – two guards ended up carrying him up and throwing him in this room with two stupid women who kept on asking him questions.

“I asked you - why did you come in here?” asked one of them for the umpteenth time.

“Because you’re stupid,” answered Silva. He knew that the key to surviving interrogations was to deny everything.

“Fine then, Silva, what are we going to have to do with you?” continued the woman.

“That’s not it,” retorted Silva.

“What’s not it?”

“My name’s not Silva,” said Silva with a grin.

“Oh, I give up!” exclaimed the woman in exasperation.

“No you don’t,” Silva said.

“He’s so annoying!” said the woman, trying to ignore him.

“Maybe we should let him go,” suggested the other woman. Silva’s heart lifted – maybe he would get off scot-free.

“No way!” the first woman shouted as she glared at the other is if she was a dim-witted fool, causing Silva’s heart to sink right back down again. “If we do that, he’ll just blab out all he knows, and the whole town will know we’re here then! And personally, I don’t fancy being captured by Sherles and thrown in jail.”

Suddenly the door flew open as a bunch of people charged into the room. Silva and the two women turned around to face Sherles and a few other people – notably one clad in a blue coat.

“…Well, this sucks,” muttered the first woman.

***

Wes quickly took in the features of the room subconsciously. The room was of a medium size, with a large bookshelf spanning a wall of the room, and a large T.V. screen covering another. There were a few pieces of furniture around the room, and a set of stairs. The main thing that caught his attention however was Silva wrapped up tightly with a rope, with two women beside him.

“I told you that something was going on downstairs, Reath…” one of the women began.

“Oh, shut up, Ferma!” Reath retorted angrily.

“I think I’ve seen you somewhere,” said Wes. “Weren’t you two at the windmill?”

“What do you mean, at the windmill? And who are you, anyway?” Reath demanded, staring angrily at Wes.

“Yeah, you look familiar…” mumbled Ferma.

“Um… I’m Wes.”

“…Who?”

What - they don’t know who I am? Despite that I had disrupted their plans, to put it plainly? Wes contemplated.

“Eh, whatever,” shrugged Reath. “Take one step further and Silva gets it.” With that, Reath grabbed Silva and held him close, a smile of pure malice growing upon her face.

“Reath, isn’t this too far…” Ferma began.

“Shut up!”

Wes tensed at this piece of news - one move and Reath could severely hurt Silva.

“D…dee… do whatsi?” asked Tom, walking into the room while throwing an empty bottle behind him.

“What are you doing here?” asked Reath in surprise.

“I thaught it is was me hise!” Tom indignantly said, not realising the threat to Silva. “See, I wis... was... no wis! I wemp into this door and them the was lots of…” he said, approaching Reath.

“Hey… get back!” Reath said. Tom however was oblivious.

“…but thenss the was this hig duck called Simon! And le wemp ‘quack mack dack’ and…” he slurred.

“Reath, please, let’s not… a duck called Simon?” questioned Ferma.

“… and then I said ‘Let mer be… jammy tarts! And then there there there was… there something, and I was happy,” concluded the rambling Tom.

“I said get back!” shouted Reath. Deciding that Tom had crossed the line, she started to move her fist back and curled it, preparing to strike Silva.

“Espeon – stop her!” bellowed Wes suddenly, spurring into action.

Reath’s fist started moving at an increasing velocity towards Silva’s face, only to suddenly freeze in mid-air, only centimetres from Silva’s head, who gave an exasperated sigh of relief.

“Hey, what the…” began Reath, before her fist moved again and connected with her own face.

“Espi Espeon!” (Why don’t you pick on someone with psychic powers!) said Espeon, before lifting Silva forcedly away from Reath and placing him next to Rui and Wes. Next, Espeon began focusing his influence into the transmitter upon his neck and built it up. The transmitter started humming, and began glowing a dark blue. In an afterthought, Espeon also moved Tom towards the group.

“Espeon!” (Keep Silva next to you!) he shouted. Understanding what was about to happen, Rui grabbed Silva and pulled him close. Noticing this, Espeon put a bit more energy into the transmitter and released it, as a glowing wave of energy pulsated from the tiny device and engulfed the room.

“What are you doing now, you little-” snarled Reath, until the wave hit her. Her face of anger was promptly frozen into that expression. Ferma too was affected, only her face was plastered into a look of shock, her mouth gaping open.

“What… just happened?” asked Silva finally in awe, having watched all of these events unfold before his eyes.

“Wiped their minds,” answered Sherles gruffly, as if such an event was a common, everyday part of being a sheriff.

“Pineapples,” commented Tom. Wes sighed – it didn’t seem that the drunk had really noticed the event, nor being transported by Espeon to a different part of the room in the process. But he seemed unaffected by the memory-wiping wave – Tom must have been within range of the transmitters he and the rest had. And at least Johnson seemed silent for once.

“So, Espeon,” began Sherles, ignoring Silva’s confusion over the turn of events, “any way to be able to get them to talk about the whereabouts of Miror B?”

“Esp! (Sure!) Espeon said.

“Good. So then,” Sherles began, turning to Ferma and Reath, “where is Miror B?”

“I don’t know,” answered Johnson suddenly, in a monotonic voice. Sherles sighed.

“I know that you don’t know, you idiot. That’s why I was asking them. So shut up. And use your brain for once.”

“That’s not possible,” answered Johnson.

“What – you’re capable of making a joke about yourself?” enquired Sherles, confused at this. “Whatever, just pipe down. So, where is Miror B?” he asked, turning to Reath.

“He is in the cave,” answered Reath.

“What cave? The one outside this room? Is it easy to get there?”

“Yes. No.”

“You spokes funnis,” said Tom suddenly. “Ikes a Robert.”

“Well, Tom, could you please-” began Sherles, before the blank television screen occupying a wall flickered on into a blurry, multi-coloured image. Slowly, the pixels upon the monitor rearranged themselves to form a more definite shape. Sound started to filter through as well – a faint salsa beat could be heard.

“It’s you,” muttered Wes, observing the revelation of the figure. “Miror B.”

“What’s going on here?” Miror B crossly asked. His eyes behind his yellow disco-styled glasses widened as the afro-wielding man realised that something wasn’t quite right.

“Bla… shud… swha?” cried Tom in fear, noticing the newcomer on the screen. “It’s…. arrghh! Scary wary! SAFE ME, MUMMSY!” he screamed, diving for cover from the abomination into a wall, before running out of the room.

“Um…” sounded Miror B, at a loss for words. “Why did… what scared him?”

“Umbre…” (Talking about ignorant…)

“Ferma, Reath, tell me what’s going on!” Miror B demanded.

“They won’t answer – we’ve got them under our control,” Sherles said, when they simply stood and blinked at the mass of hair in front of them.

“What… but how, and why…. Oh, this is bad, bad, bad!” cried Miror B. “Sherles shows up, they’ve taken over the building, and…” he muttered, before stopping as his eyes picked out Wes. “You’re here! That explains it! And you too!” he cried, spotting Rui as well. “Oh man, Nascour is going to chew me out!”

“Who’s Nascour?” asked Sherles.

“...Pretend you didn’t hear that. Ah, whatever, I’m already in dire straits,” said Miror B.

“Serves you right! Now, what have you done to Plusle?” said Rui angrily.

“I haven’t done anything to him!!” cried Miror B in protest.

“How could you… wait, what? So why did you kidnap him?” Rui asked, surprised.

“Look, I didn’t want to get involved in this! I just wanted a place to be able to dance in peace! All those people in the other regions kept on bugging me for autographs, and free hugs, and a piece of my hair… it was too much! I travelled to this region, ended up with this job here, and before I knew it, I was in charge of all this! Then I was ordered to get the upper hand over Duking all of a sudden, and what could I do? I was told to kidnap that Plusle, to keep Duking quiet.”

“Wait, you didn’t really want to be a part of this?” asked Wes.

“Well, not initially, no,” admitted Miror B, “and I still don’t. But the set-up was oh-so-lovely!”

“So then,” Sherles said, scratching his head, “if you want out of this, why not turn yourself in? We can get you a greatly reduced jail sentence if you come willingly and help us,” he offered.

“What? No no no no no! I still think I have a chance!” defended Miror B. “After all, first you’ll have to find me within the cave! And I assure you, you’ll have a hard time getting through there with all of my guards to get by!”

“Whatever – your loss,” said Wes.

“Oh, confident are you?” asked Miror B amusedly. “Maybe this will make you think twice!” Miror B danced off the screen for a moment, and appeared again with a radio in hand.

“W-What are you going to do?” asked Rui nervously.

Wordlessly, Miror B opened a slot in the radio, inserted a tape, and closed it, before he hit the play button. Music blazed from the radio instantly, with an all-too-familiar tune. Smiling mischievously, Miror B began singing.

I want to be the very best,
That no one ever was,

“Es. Pi. On.” (Oh. GOD. No.)

To catch them is my real quest,
To train them is my cause!

“Make it stop!” shouted Rui, clutching her head to try to block out the sound, but to no avail.

I travel across the land,
Searching far and wide,
Each Pokemon to understand,
The power that’s inside!

Just before Miror B got any further with the song however, Tom came charging into the room.

“More any not mich too fir stood up with hiss I not will! Die singing this!” he shouted, as he picked up a book titled ‘Dancing and You! How to dance the steps to the top!’ from a bookshelf and hurled it at the screen.

“NO! That’s my book – no, not the tel-” Miror B shouted, just before the book made contact and split the screen into a million glistening fragments, the music breaking off into a violent shatter. Rui slumped to the floor and gave a sigh of relief.

“Tom, I don’t usually say this,” Sherles said, “But… thanks – I’ll buy you a round for this!”

Tom’s face brightened up at this, seemingly forgetting his terror just moments ago. “Goody! Maybes cans I haves the stuffis froms… heoptin? They hive a verys good wine there…”

“Um, sure,” answered Sherles.

“It tastes like yellow!” Tom continued brightly. “It had a name.... I knows! It was called Jimbo the hippotootomas. No, what, it was...” struggled Tom, trying to get his tongue around the difficult yet irrelevant word. “Hi... hip... hippietopotnyus! Hyperjelotomus! No, th it’s nit sit...”

“Anyway,” Wes said, recovering from the recent ordeal. “We’d better move on then and stop him. And get Plusle too,” he added.

“Yes, let’s,” Sherles agreed. He turned to Reath and Ferma. “You two – you are to lead the way to Miror B’s hiding place.”

“Yes,” they droned.

“H...H...Hypotenuse!”

“Ok then – Wes, Johnson and Rui, you go ahead and confront him with Espeon. Brainwash any guards and send them up here, I’ll arrest them.”

“Espeon.” (Fair enough.)

“Hang on Sherles, I’ve just had a thought,” interrupted Wes. “Ferma and Reath, do you have any Shadow Pokemon? If so, hand them over.” To Wes’s delight, the two nodded, and handed two Pokeballs from their belts to Wes.

“Good thinking, Wes,” praised Sherles. “We better do the same for any other guards we encounter - after I arrest them, of course.” Sherles then turned to Silva. “Silva... just stay there for the time being.”

“No fair! I want to help!” protested Silva, getting to his feet, only to clutch his ankle and give a grimace of pain. “Fine then,” he grumbled.

“Hyperbolela! Heppolehitutas!”

“Tom, go home,” Sherles ordered shortly.

“Yay! Homey, tasty hippo! Hi hose, Hi hose, it’s off to home I go!” he chanted, walking out the door.

“Sherles, are you sure…” began Rui, as distant shouts of ‘Home!’ could be heard from below.

“Oh, he’ll be fine. I end up dealing with him a couple of times a week,” Sherles said offhandedly. Wes had his doubts about Tom’s ability in getting home - after all, he had stumbled here mistaking this place for his house. But now wasn’t exactly the time to worry about that.

“Let’s keep moving,” said Sherles. “The sooner we get Miror B, the better. Besides, we don’t want him to hurt Plusle. We need to bring him down as well - he knows something about some Nascour guy, so it’s of utmost importance!”

“Yes, let’s get a move on,” agreed Rui, thinking back to the singing she had just experienced. The four turned to make for the cave, with Ferma and Reath left to follow against their will. Just as they approached the door however, a large figure appeared by the door frame.

“Ok, I’ve thrown those rascals into jail now,” began the figure. “There was the drunk stumbling down the stairs as well, shouting about going ‘ova da Mountain’ or something. I let him be. Anyway, any more for me to… Silva?”

“Oh, hi Duking,” began Silva weakly.

***

“Hey there! Yes, you! Stop now, or I’ll-” began a guard, before he conveniently lost the ability to speak. Or the ability to remember who he was as well.

“Yes, very nice,” Wes said offhandedly. “Please proceed to the cave entrance, and get arrested by Sherles. Then follow his instructions.”

“Yes,” droned the now tame guard as he obeyed Wes’s commands.

“Good work, Espeon,” Wes said as two more guards they passed followed suit.

“Espeon,” (Oh, it’s nothing, you’re welcome,) Espeon replied offhandedly as they ploughed deeper into the cave, following Ferma and Reath who were forced to lead the way. Umbreon merely rolled his eyes.

“Well, luckily for Silva, Duking didn’t bite his head off,” said Rui.

“He had been trying to help him,” agreed Wes. “Just… maybe not quite in the right way. Wonder what would have happened if we didn’t find the gear anyway? Oh, you - cave entrance - get arrested - obey Sherles,” Wes told to another immobilized guard.

Wes, Rui and Johnson - still oddly quiet, Wes noted - continued on their way down a steady slope into the maze of large winding cave paths, following the two women lead the way to Miror B. The pathway was illuminated by many small torches hung on the wall, lighting up even the furthest corners of the hideout. Occasionally Wes and Rui encountered a staircase, some which they went down, and some which they ignored. All the while Wes ordered guards back in the opposite direction to Sherles and Duking with Espeon’s assistance. This process went on for a good twenty minutes or so - Rui began to wonder if they were going the right direction.

“Oh look - water now,” commented Wes as they climbed up a staircase, to have an array of bridges - some broken - greet them. The bridges spanned over a large underground lake of surprisingly blue, clear water – Wes guessed it was the town’s water supply.

“Umbreon!” (There’s more water here than Phenac City!) remarked the Pokemon. Wes had to agree - despite the large resources of water the city had to boast to run over fifty-odd water features, there was a mass of the stuff right here as well. It must have been how Croconaw had been able to get the water to use for a Surf attack as well earlier.

“Hang on - can you hear that?” Wes asked. Rui stopped for a second, and then grinned at Wes.

“That’s Miror B’s music!” she exclaimed. Wes nodded absentmindedly.

She has a nice smile, he thought.

“Wes?”

“What? Oh, yes, let’s, ah, move on,” Wes swiftly said before moving on.

As the two moved onwards, crossing the bridges and sending more guards back the way they came, the music slowly got louder, and before long they found themselves in front of a lone cave entrance, the music louder than ever.

“Al right - you two can go back to Sherles now,” Wes said, as Ferma and Reath obediently turned and left.

“Espeon?” (Couldn’t we have had some fun and give them a quick swim beforehand?)

“There’s no time for that, Espeon - it’s time to deal with Miror B,” answered Wes, before taking a big breathe. “Ready Rui?”

“Yep.”
“Well, let’s go.” With that, the two walked in, approaching a large door. Wes peered through a keyhole - although hard to see, he could make out the shape of Miror B dancing upon a raised platform in the middle of a large spacious room. Dancing with Miror B were two other forms that appeared to be the duck-like Pokemon Ludicolo. The Pokemon had wide beaks, a yellow-and brown zigzag pattern on a large part of their bodies, and sporting festive-looking hat upon their heads, similar to the leaf that Lotad bore. They were keeping up to the pace of the music and seemed to dance effortlessly, despite having short, stubby, green legs and a chubby, pineapple-like body.

“The door’s open!” Miror B said suddenly, continuing to dance.

“Eh, how did you know we were here?” Rui asked as they warily walked in.

Miror B motioned to a small screen by a wall, showing Espeon and Umbreon strolled in. Wes turned around to see a video camera pointing at their previous position.

“Oh.”

“Where’s Plusle?” Rui asked.

“He’s fine, I assure you! I must admit, you kept me waiting for a frightfully long time, my darlings! So I decided to work up a little sweat while dancing,” he said, as he pulled out a remote from his pocket and reduced the volume of the salsa music that was previously blazing from a radio. He ushered the two Ludicolo near to him, as they quacked in response and took a protective stance around him. “I must say: I do wonder how you got here with such ease, and how you persuaded Ferma and Reath to help you… I’m disappointed in them - I was going to give them a raise as well, despite their ineptness at dancing!”

“You want to know what we did to them?” Wes asked. “This. Now, Espeon!” he shouted.

“Espeon!” (Your mind shall be wiped!) he said grandly and confidently, before using the transmitter and sending out a wave of energy. It dissipated around the room and hit Miror B, who looked surprised at this move. A moment passed.

“What was that?” Miror B asked finally.

“What?” asked Wes in shock. “How come you aren’t… any idea why, Espeon?”

“Espeon! Espi…” (It doesn’t make sense! Hang on, give me a sec…) Espeon said, before sending out a much smaller wave of energy that once again engulfed the room.

“Espeon! Espi… Esp?” (Hang a tick… Miror B has something that’s blocking the signal! And it seems to be coming from… his hair?) Espeon asked incredulously.

“Something from his hair is blocking the signal?” Wes asked blankly.

“Umbre!” (I told you - there’s something about his hair!)

“Something in my hair? Never! It must be something odd with your Poke- hang on,” Miror B mumbled as he stuck a hand in the aforementioned afro. “Hey, what’s this?’ he asked, as he pulled out a black object.

“That’s the Itemfinder Secc made! But how does he have one?” wondered Rui.

“Espeon, Espi!” (It appears that Johnson’s one is missing - but that means he’s been under my control all this time to a degree!) Espeon suddenly cried, before sending another pulse of his Confusion attack into Johnson. Johnson suddenly sprang up straight, and looked generally confused at suddenly being in a cave.

“Johnson, where’s your Itemfinder? Did you lose it?” Wes asked, dreading the answer he though Johnson would give.

“Oh course not! It’s in my pocket, right…” Johnson started, rummaging into a pocket. Then he froze. “Oops.”

Wes hit his head in annoyance. “So you’re telling me that you lost it, and now Miror B has it?”

“Wait - you’ve been brainwashing my guards?” asked Miror B, putting the pieces together. “How frightfully… awful!”

“Hey look - it’s Miror B! I, Johnson, shall take him out!” Johnson proclaimed, charging at Miror B who was upon the platform. Just before making contact, Miror B stylishly gave Johnson the slip, and sent him flying off the platform with an elegant sway to the side.

“Fufufu… nobody is going to get at me with my dance steps!” remarked Miror B.

“Great,” muttered Wes. “If he gets past us he can make a run for it! Espeon, have you tried taking out the Ludicolo?”

“Espeon! Espi Espi! Espeon.” (You think I haven’t already? Unfortunately, I think Secc set the frequency on this so that only people get affected, rather than Pokemon! Plus, I think the music is powering them up, and giving them a sort of protection from my attempts.)

“Well, I can tell you, if you want to arrest me, you’ll have to challenge me to a Pokemon Battle. Seems fitting - your Pokemon against my Ludicolo. It’ll be a lo-ver-ly finale, that I can assure you!”

Well, we’ll just have to beat him the old fashioned way, Wes thought. “So,” he began to Miror B, “may I ask before we battle - what is with your hair anyway? And your name?”

Miror B laughed at the question. “Fair enough - I got that a lot already. Well, my name came about as a typo when it was written by some inept person on my birth certificate - instead of ‘Mirror Ball’, it ended up missing an ‘r’ in ‘mirror’, and ‘Ball’ - my family’s last name, was shortened to B. For some reason or another, it never got changed back.”

“But… why would your parents name you Mirror Ball?”

“That… I still don’t know. I think they thought it funny or something. As for my hair - well, strangely enough - it’s natural.”

“N-Natural?” asked Rui uncertainly, eyeing the red and white ball of hair.

“Yes, even the hair colour, and the equal divide of the two colours. It’s true!” he cried, noticing that Wes and Rui didn’t quite seem to believe him. “It’s a rare hair condition I was born with - so I decided to make the most of it and turn it into an afro! It is, as you can see, plainly afro-tastic!” Wes and Rui cringed at the joke - Johnson on the other hand, laughed at it.

“Please don’t say that again… and what’s with the music?” Rui asked.

“Umbre.” (Good music, may I add.)

“Well, it all began a long time ago, when I was little. See, I had…. Hang on, I feel a song coming on!’ Miror B exclaimed.

Wes and Rui quickly backed off towards the exit.

“No, it’s not the song I did before!” pleaded Miror B as he inserted a tape into the radio and began switching songs. “That was just me warning you not to take me lightly - this is a spur of the moment thing - hopefully it’ll come off.”

“Oh… fine,” gave in Wes, before leaning to Rui. “If it’s that other song, cover your ears and run - I’ll rather he gets away than endure another rendition,” he whispered.

“Good,” answered Miror B happily, finding the song he wanted and pressing the play button. Wes immediately recognised the tune, as a worker in Team Snagem used to play it over and over again while Wes was working there. It started to get annoying after a while, but the song was pretty good, despite the treatment it received at being played over and over again, much like the over usage a song often got on the Orre Radio station - the only working and active station which took to playing the same three songs repeatedly.

However, the words were different this time, as Miror B started to sing and incorporate a dance routine to boot - even his two Ludicolo joined in.

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I bumped my head,
When I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs.
I had been running to get to dinner,
in record time.

And, at the time,
when I fell,
From my dad’s stereo,
This addictive salsa beat was playing through the house,
And then I blacked out.

Mum rushed like crazy,
She thought I’ll turn crazy,
Would I become crazy?
Possibly.

Luckily I awoke but there was something not quite right,
For I needed, to hear a marvellous beat.
I’m afraid, said the doctor, that you have, that you have, that you have an sickness,
What? What? What? Asked my mum - he said,
He can’t endure no music.

Now,
Normally I’m not crazy,
Music stops me turn crazy,
I have not turned crazy,
Music is my remedy.

My heroes were the kind, that break-danced on T.V,
And all I remember is thinking, I wanna dance like them,
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little I’ve been dancing for fun,
And I’ve been listening to these tunes since I bumped, my head,
And I can dance when I'm done.

But maybe I'm crazy,
Maybe you're crazy,
Maybe it’s just me,
Probably.

At the end of the song, Miror B spun thrice, and struck an unorthodox pose, with his two Ludicolo joining with a loud ‘quack’.

“That was… good!” remarked Rui in surprise.

“And I came up with it on the spot!” claimed Miror B, before quickly changing the song to a quiet and calming tune. Wes wasn’t sure if Miror B’s song had been inspired right then and there, as the choreography was a bit too good to be true.

“So, basically, you bumped your head, and developed another rare condition, meaning that you have to listen to music, or you start acting up.”

“Yes, that’s another way of putting it… and because of it, I decided to get by with it the best I can, with music, dance and my precious Ludicolos.”

Like dance contests, mused Wes, thinking back to the news article about Miror B that he found.

“I too, bumped my head at a young age,” declared Johnson unexpectedly. “Only, I don’t think I suffered any ill effects…”

All in the room exchanged glances.

“But that’s enough of this stalling - I shall proceed with my last frantic dance. I say - let the music play!” cried Miror B, changing the song and hitting the play button, before striking a pose.

A different, yet still enjoyable disco-themed music started playing.

“What, wait, that’s the wrong song…” mumbled Miror B, fixing his error. Soon enough, the previous and familiar salsa music blazed from the radio. “Aha! That’s it! Let the music play!”

***


AHA! That’s right - the Miror B battle is in the next chapter! AHAHA FOOLS!
…anyway, hope you liked it. Please review with comments and the such.

With Miror B’s song (the second one), it’s a song parody of ‘Crazy’, by Gnarls Barkley. I believe a quick Google search can lead you to a listen of the song. It’s quite a good song - if there’s anyone familiar with it, any opinions on how I did? Wasn’t easy…

Ok then - Here be a spoiler now of how this links in with the game:
Spoiler:

Doken - ah, Doken. Such a forgettable character, with a more forgettable Shadow Pokemon (Qwilfish is one of the more forgettable Pokemon out there). The guard with the standard weird name takes you for a Cipher agent/s when you com up (naturally), and tells you to go inside and help Ferma and Reath deal with a problem (Silva). Doken stands in front of a cave entrance when you do just that.
After dealing with a slightly different problem, you have to go into the cave - here Doken challenges you (strangely enough, the battle scene is in Pyrite Square rather than atop of a building). Beat him, and he will ‘respect you’, and let you past. Me, I found having him arrested easier.

Ferma and Reath - instead of using Silva as a threat or something, they will take you on in the only way they know - a Pokemon battle! They have a Shadow Pokemon - Remoraid and Mantine. When you win, they run off, and then the awesome Miror B appears on the TV screen in the room.

Miror B - he talks a bit with you - Rui asks about Plusle, he laughs, the usual conversation. He challenges you to find him first in the cave, before signing off (no, he doesn’t sing) He says that Plusle is a nice bargaining tactic, despite that not being used, so I’ve changed it that Miror B is really a kind-hearted soul who didn’t want to hurt Plusle - fits in.. Then you talk to Silva, who has conveniently twisted his ankle. Duking doesn’t appear then, but then, he’s not helping in the game, is he?
Interestingly, the books on the bookshelf are said to be ‘books on dance’ with you examine them.

The cave maze - good for levelling up your pokes against the many many trainers about, and generally annoying you. It’s nothing too hard, but takes some time. Luckily there’s a PC and healing machine along the way. The guards only battle you if you walk past them (must be darker in the cave than what it appears to be like), and then… stand there, beaten down by Pokemon. For shame. Some guards can be bypassed if you walk far away enough from them - they just turn their head. Tad unrealistic.
After a while, the cave turns into a set of bridges over a large mass of water (one wonders where the Under comes into this then…). Eventually though, you’ll get to Miror B.

Miror B again - when you enter the room, cue pro cut scene with Miror B dancing with several Ludicolo. Very nice to watch, especially with the salsa music going on. He’ll say that you took your time, so he decided to dance (instead of doing something with Plusle, who seems forgotten by this stage) - and then strikes a pose before challenging you to a battle.

Miror B's name - Actually does more than likely derive from Mirror Ball - after all, just look at his afro, clothing and lifestyle. But even that is an odd name for Orre… isn’t it? Some NPC’s seem to think so, and say the same for his appearance (which they have a point with). BTW - his Japanese name is Mirabo, his French name is Bouledisco.


One other thing - due to the likely longer delays, I’ve done a PM list on Serebii for notifying people when the chapter is done - so I might do one here as well. Tell me if you want in, so that you can be PM’d when I’ve done a chapter, rather than be filled up with false hope to see that I’ve posted to reply to reviews and say it’ll be a while yet.

Last edited by bobandbill; January 18th, 2009 at 10:36 PM.
  #63    
Old April 23rd, 2008, 03:49 AM
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Including Doken's own Pokemon during the battles
Quote:
The girl didn’t seem all that intimidated by Doken's self-assurance however
Quote:
Doken's fears were confirmed as another figure came into view as well,
Quote:
“Um…” sounded Miror B, at a loss for words.
Quote:
as they quacked in response and took a protective stance around him.
Now, some highlights:
Quote:
At least the weirdo had a good choice of music.
That he certainly does, though I can't decide if his salsa or disco theme is better - both are in heavy rotation on my MP3 player

Quote:
“…but thenss the was this hig duck called Simon! And le wemp ‘quack mack dack’ and…” he slurred.
I would actually like to meet Simon the Duck - could he be one of Miror B.'s Ludicolo? xD

Quote:
“I know that you don’t know, you idiot. That’s why I was asking them. So shut up. And use your brain for once.”

“That’s not possible,” answered Johnson.
Despite his inability to use his brain, he somehow got this right LOL! Then again, it DOES take a certain amount of skill to win a battle with a Magikarp...

Quote:
“It’s…. arrghh! Scary wary! SAFE ME, MUMMSY!” he screamed, diving for cover from the abomination into a wall, before running out of the room.
I suppose that, in a drunken stupor, seeing some guy in a sparkling gold suit and a giant Pokeball afro on his head could scare the living daylights out of you... Now if Tom can make it home...

Quote:
“But… why would your parents name you Mirror Ball?”

“That… I still don’t know. As for my hair - well, strangely enough - it’s natural.”
That's his natural hair color? LOL Also, Mirror Ball would be a name just as strange as Miror B., IMO.

One thing I need to bring up - a number of the guards in the cave have Shadow Pokemon, yet Wes doesn't take any of theirs away when he takes control of their mind. So I'm wondering if Sherles is the one who retrieves the Shadow Pokemon when they all arrive at the entrance, as you don't explain how Wes gets hold of those Pokemon.

And remember:
Spoiler:
If Wes goes back to fight Mirakle B., all the guards except for Reath and Ferma are back. Do they stage some sort of mass prison outbeak?

Overall, great chapter with more of Johnson's stupidity and Tom's random slurring. But next chapter's what I'm looking forward to - the big Miror B. showdown! I'll be sure to play the Miror B. salsa theme on repeat as I read the battle xD
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  #64    
Old April 23rd, 2008, 11:32 AM
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I agree, I can't wait to see more! Oh, and Miror B's "origin" is hilarious. God I love that song....XD
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  #65    
Old April 26th, 2008, 06:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkPersian479 View Post
*insert mistakes here*
Glad you picked those out for me. Three of them were practically the same... I blame it on Doken's odd name (which I had forgotton, and had while writing referred to him as 'Guard's name' for a large part... stupid Doken. )
Quote:
That he certainly does, though I can't decide if his salsa or disco theme is better - both are in heavy rotation on my MP3 player
For me, the salsa is better. Although I like both.
Quote:
I would actually like to meet Simon the Duck - could he be one of Miror B.'s Ludicolo? xD
That actually is an in-joke between me and friends as well - there's a guy at my school called Simon who is called a 'duck' at times...
Quote:
That's his natural hair color? LOL Also, Mirror Ball would be a name just as strange as Miror B., IMO.
Indeed. Wonder how his life was at school... but it does fit in with the weird Orre names. And as the name is based on Mirror Ball... that's one part of Colosseum canon I'm sticking with.
Quote:
One thing I need to bring up - a number of the guards in the cave have Shadow Pokemon, yet Wes doesn't take any of theirs away when he takes control of their mind. So I'm wondering if Sherles is the one who retrieves the Shadow Pokemon when they all arrive at the entrance, as you don't explain how Wes gets hold of those Pokemon.
*Grabs quote*
Quote:
“Hang on Sherles, I’ve just had a thought,” interrupted Wes. “Ferma and Reath, do you have any Shadow Pokemon? If so, hand them over.” To Wes’s delight, the two nodded, and handed two Pokeballs from their belts to Wes.

“Good thinking, Wes,” praised Sherles. “We better do the same for any other guards we encounter - after I arrest them, of course.”
So basically, it does kinda hint that Sherles is the one who does when he arrests them beforehand, as they have to, as Wes tells them, to obey Sherles. Also makes more sense as Wes already has a full team. See where you're coming from though.
Quote:
And remember:
Spoiler:
If Wes goes back to fight Mirakle B., all the guards except for Reath and Ferma are back. Do they stage some sort of mass prison outbeak?
Ah, Mirakle B. Well, in the game they never got arrested (only Ferma and Reath in fact), so it is a dilemma... but one I think I can explain away, and in a humourous fashion as well. You are on the right track...
Quote:
Overall, great chapter with more of Johnson's stupidity and Tom's random slurring. But next chapter's what I'm looking forward to - the big Miror B. showdown! I'll be sure to play the Miror B. salsa theme on repeat as I read the battle xD
Glad you liked it. I'm planning to request people to play it before I release the chapter as well. (Oh, this reply is also the same to yours on serebii...)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinobitrainer View Post
I agree, I can't wait to see more! Oh, and Miror B's "origin" is hilarious. God I love that song....XD
Thanks for that. :0

And...that's all? Where is everybody? All well, I'll just wait then.
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  #66    
Old April 26th, 2008, 06:52 PM
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I am right here bobandbill!

I vastly enjoyed this spectacular chapter and as usual I cannot wait for more. I wonder what you will do with the sublime Lady Venus when we get to her...
  #67    
Old April 28th, 2008, 11:29 AM
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You couldn't go without an "I'm your Venus" reference!
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  #68    
Old April 29th, 2008, 05:21 AM
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“Hello!” greeted the teacher. “Don’t worry, those Pokemon were well behaved. And what fine evolved Pokemon they are! Jimmy! What do YOU think of these Pokemon?

“Um… well behaved fine evolved Pokemon?” answered Jimmy.

“No, that’s what I think. What do you think? Try to have a thought of your own, Jimmy, thinking is so important. What do you think?” explained the teacher patiently.

“I think...thinking is so important,” replied Jimmy.

Lol awsome.
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  #69    
Old April 29th, 2008, 11:28 AM
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I wish there'd be more....or that people would reply to MY story for once.
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  #70    
Old May 3rd, 2008, 08:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Espreon View Post
I am right here bobandbill!

I vastly enjoyed this spectacular chapter and as usual I cannot wait for more. I wonder what you will do with the sublime Lady Venus when we get to her...
Glad you liked it. Thanks - but note it will be AGES when I get to the Under (but maybe Venus eariler? We'll see).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinobitrainer View Post
You couldn't go without an "I'm your Venus" reference!
True.. I guess - or could I? (dun dun dunnn).
Quote:
Originally Posted by The REAL Shadow Chaos View Post
“Hello!” greeted the teacher. “Don’t worry, those Pokemon were well behaved. And what fine evolved Pokemon they are! Jimmy! What do YOU think of these Pokemon?

“Um… well behaved fine evolved Pokemon?” answered Jimmy.

“No, that’s what I think. What do you think? Try to have a thought of your own, Jimmy, thinking is so important. What do you think?” explained the teacher patiently.

“I think...thinking is so important,” replied Jimmy.

Lol awsome.
Thanks. Unfortunately, that joke you mentioned wasn't quite original - somewhat off a show called Blackadder (as I specified in the spoiler in that chapter). mBut still, thanks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinobitrainer View Post
I wish there'd be more....or that people would reply to MY story for once.
...don't keep on advertising your fic here.

ALSO - I am going to, prior to the next chapter, go through this all and add more description throughtout the whole thing. More on Wes, Umbreon and Espeon, Phenac city, for instance. Should look more like the last chapter which had more descriptionthan usual, as a comparison - ain't going to go overboard, but I feel more can be done, and some also want it.
The minor changes should make this feel more like a 'proper', 'fleshed-out' fic, as this project of mine has gone much further than I anticipated, so I figured, why not go a bit more?

This fic's main focus shall still be comedy, pointing out flaws and fixing them in Colosseum, and putting Colosseum in a different light however - and description would still be lighter than some other fics, probably. Shouldn't take too long but - and hopefully the next chapter shall come about without major delays.

Last edited by bobandbill; May 3rd, 2008 at 08:28 PM.
  #71    
Old May 4th, 2008, 01:05 AM
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Comments on the prologue:

As someone who has never played Colosseum before, I'm fortunate enough to enjoy this as if it was a from-scratch fanfiction. n_n And I must say, I like it. I do however have one suggestion:

Quote:
Originally Posted by bobandbill
The Skarmory shot up faster then he ever flew up and away as the flames coming from the explosion scorched his body.
This sentence would probably be rewritten better as: The Skarmory shot up faster than he ever had; flying up and away as the flames coming from the explosion scorched his body.
  #72    
Old May 5th, 2008, 11:30 AM
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Quote:
...don't keep on advertising your fic here.
Sry, didn't realize I was doing it so much....I'll stop now.
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  #73    
Old June 8th, 2008, 06:37 AM
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Im on Chapter 3 at the moment, and its really good so far! Havent played Colosseum in a while, so expecting some surprises
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Last edited by Jeffery111; June 8th, 2008 at 12:42 PM.
  #74    
Old June 8th, 2008, 11:44 AM
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Hello...
I've been actually following this story...
and now I have time to post this
this story is great...
nice description and such...

keep up the good work...
I shall now be following this...
  #75    
Old June 29th, 2008, 11:30 PM
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Hello! I decided that I should return the favor since you review my fic and now I actually have time to read!

Alright- First off, I've never actually played Colosseum so I really did not know what it was until I read this.

I think so far you have done an excellent job with the plot and explaining concepts like shadow Pokemon. Your story is both exciting and hilarious!

Some of my favorite parts-

In chapter 4:

"From the depths of Rui’s mind, we proudly present:
Flashback - Rui vs. Pyrite"

Very creative and amusing. I could definately immagine an announcer at a sports game saying that.


In chapter 7 (I think):
(He wants to be a Plusle? That’s stupid. Why not an Espeon?)

That was particularly funny to me. I definately expected the obvious humans can't turn into Pokemon.


I loved the Magikarp!!!!!!

And I think my favorite part would have to be:



Wordlessly, Miror B opened a slot in the radio, inserted a tape, and closed it. Then he hit the play button. Music blazed from the radio instantly, with an all-too-familiar tune. Smiling, Miror B began singing.

I want to be the very best,
That no one ever was,

"Es. Pi. On." (Oh. GOD. No.)

To catch them is my real quest,
To train them is my cause!

"Make it stop!" shouted Rui, but to no avail.

I travel across the land,
Searching far and wide
Each Pokemon to understand
The power that’s inside!



Did not see that coming.


And of course, I really liked this one:


"I too, bumped my head at a young age," declared Johnson unexpectedly. "Only, I don’t think I suffered any ill effects…"

All in the room exchanged glances.

LOL

Overall your story is very comical! I like the randomness (is the game that random too?!) Your humor is awesome.

Now for the criticiem... =P

First a small thing... in chapter 3, you write:

"keep you lady friend at liberty."

I think you should be your.

Now more general, in the beginning of the story I felt like there was a lack of character development of the humans- specifically Wes. It got better as the story went on, but I still believe Wes's development could improve. I feel like I don't know Wes very well, and it kinda bugs me that he has experienced very little struggle thus far. Everything seems to work out immediately (for instance, when he is put in prison, he is released shortly after).

The other thing that kind of bothered me was in this last chapter Espeon seemed a little too powerful. It had just been revived after being knocked and then proceeded to use its psychic abilities a whole bunch. I thought it would be a little more tired.

Otherwise, I think your story is great, and I will definately keep up with reading it. Sorry I never commented before, and keep up the good writing!
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