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The Hoenn Empire

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Sydian

fake your death.
33,379
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16
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This is quite an amazing story. Definately one of the better fan fictions that are up.

There's not much to say on grammar. From what knowledge I do have, you've got it down pretty well.

I...well, what can I say? Truly amazing work. I love for the feeling of pain is described at the end of the chapter. I'm truly speechless. Keep it up-- it's epic. It's paranoia and epidemic spreading through Hoenn.

-Silver
 
972
Posts
16
Years
  • Age 30
  • Seen Oct 12, 2009
There wasn't really anything wrong with chapter 5. Although, I thought the "be mean" theme of being a gaurd was a bit much. What I mean is that cutting the kid's thigh was a bit drastic.

There was nothing really wrong with the chapter as a whole(as I, said before) but the entire fan fic needs one thing that I think would make the writing better in general. You don't seem to describe the area in much detail. When you describe the windowless buildings, everything is fine - but when I'm reading the fic it starts to feel a bit shallow because there is not much text decribing the area is taking place in. When the reader is left to think up scenery by themselves, they realize quickly that they are reading, and not totally immersed in the story. The goal(I believe) is to have the reader feel as though they are in the story, totally immersed. You may want to consult other people for suggestions on this, but that's my opinion.

I still think it's great, though!! Please keep posting!
 

Acrutheo

The boundless night~
302
Posts
15
Years
SilverSmeargleSplatter said:
This is quite an amazing story. Definately one of the better fan fictions that are up.

There's not much to say on grammar. From what knowledge I do have, you've got it down pretty well.

I...well, what can I say? Truly amazing work. I love for the feeling of pain is described at the end of the chapter. I'm truly speechless. Keep it up-- it's epic. It's paranoia and epidemic spreading through Hoenn.

-Silver
Thank you very much. ^^ I appreciate the compliment.

Mewtwo42 said:
There wasn't really anything wrong with chapter 5. Although, I thought the "be mean" theme of being a gaurd was a bit much. What I mean is that cutting the kid's thigh was a bit drastic.
Exactly. If you'll recall from earlier chapters, Watson once had his thigh sliced open by a scyther as a small child, and now he was to project hid punishment as a child upon another. I did try to get across the effect that Watson thought it was for the child's own good to be toughened up, despite his mixed feelings about it - it was quite a complex moral dilemma I was trying to portray here.

Do you think I should have focused more on this?

Mewtwo42 said:
There was nothing really wrong with the chapter as a whole(as I, said before) but the entire fan fic needs one thing that I think would make the writing better in general. You don't seem to describe the area in much detail. When you describe the windowless buildings, everything is fine - but when I'm reading the fic it starts to feel a bit shallow because there is not much text decribing the area is taking place in. When the reader is left to think up scenery by themselves, they realize quickly that they are reading, and not totally immersed in the story. The goal(I believe) is to have the reader feel as though they are in the story, totally immersed. You may want to consult other people for suggestions on this, but that's my opinion.
Yes, I agree. Scenery imagery has always been my weakest point as a writer - well, not so much scenery imagery itself, but more effectively incorporating it into the story. On reflection, I think Chapter 5 was weaker in this department than the other chapters. However, I wasn't sure if others agreed, so now that this has been confirmed, I'll endeavour to make this a non-issue in the coming chapters. Thanks for the advice. ^^

Mewtwo42 said:
I still think it's great, though!! Please keep posting!
Thanks. ;D Like I said before though, I have no intention to stop. And criticism only makes me better, rather than driving me away. :D
 

EricDaRed

Herald of A New Era
24
Posts
15
Years
  • Age 39
  • Seen Dec 31, 2009
Very nice chapter. I found myself surprised and disgusted by Watson's actions against the 5-year-old, but that is not a criticism. The emotional reaction the passage caused was quite potent considering that I'm was reading a mere fictional story!

One of the passages confused me as I was reading though:

At five minutes until the next rotation, both seemed extremely relieved to be out of each other's company.
I think both seemed extremely relieved that they would soon be out of each other's company would be more clear.

The way I read it I thought that the shift change had occurred and was thus confused by the next passage about Carter.


I also enjoyed the part were Watson found himself unable to to manage two battles at once. This was cool because it challenged my concept that Watson is this great pokemon trainer with boundless skill. In a way, the real world as a Guard is proving tougher for Watson than the academy was. At the academy he was nearly always on top, always in control.
 
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Acrutheo

The boundless night~
302
Posts
15
Years
EricDaRed said:
Very nice chapter. I found myself surprised and disgusted by Watson's actions against the 5-year-old, but that is not a criticism. The emotional reaction the passage caused was quite potent considering that I'm was reading a mere fictional story!
Excellent. ^^ Then it had exactly the effect I wanted. :D

EricDaRed said:
I think both seemed extremely relieved that they would soon be out of each other's company would be more clear.
I agree. Thanks for the advice. ^^

EricDaRed said:
I also enjoyed the part were Watson found himself unable to to manage two battles at once. This was cool because it challenged my concept that Watson is this great pokemon trainer with boundless skill. In a way, the real world as a Guard is proving tougher for Watson than the academy was. At the academy he was nearly alway on top, always in control.
That's good, because the infinite_POWAH_my_starter_beats_ur_legendary type trainer is the type I want to avoid. Watson's skilled, but not to the level of ridiculousness.

Thanks for the review, EricDaRed. ^^
 

Sweet Dreams

[I]are made of these~[/I]
703
Posts
16
Years
Well, in hindsight, I agree that the scenery could do with a little work, but remember not to put in too much. Especially in an action scene. I would find it slightly disconcerting if, when you're reading about an aerial attack from an enemy, the story suddenly gabbles about the colour of the others' tunics. However, this can sometimes be appropriate, so... meh... I trust you not to make that mistake that I'll probably make in the future.

Yes, the fact that he had failed his Pokemon and the two seperate battles reinforce the feeling of reality in this situation. The mistakes, feelings of regret and consequences of his actions make him seem more human, and, to me, his rash decision to inflict pain upon a child is understandable, although in no way approved of. It informs the readers that the Guards have their own reasons for being cruel.

And I think I forgot to mention that having the main characters as part of the "evil organisation" and not a part of the rebels cancels any clicheness at all.

Well, I shall breathlessly await the next part.
 

Acrutheo

The boundless night~
302
Posts
15
Years
Sweet_Dreams said:
Especially in an action scene. I would find it slightly disconcerting if, when you're reading about an aerial attack from an enemy, the story suddenly gabbles about the colour of the others' tunics.
I certainly hope I don't. In those situations, the only description that would occur would be an adjective that directly precedes a noun, eg. "the blue wing struck...", and any more detailed imagery would not occur mid-action.

Sweet_Dreams said:
his rash decision to inflict pain upon a child is understandable, although in no way approved of.
Interesting perspective. Not mine, but I suppose that's because I know Watson's character better than anyone else. Though, it's good to see that the story is sprouting different opinions, rather than just telling people what to think. ^^

Sweet_Dreams said:
And I think I forgot to mention that having the main characters as part of the "evil organisation" and not a part of the rebels cancels any clicheness at all.
I have to smile at this comment. As the story progresses, if I do it well and as planned, things will become more blurred, and it will be very difficult to discern which "side" is evil.

Thanks for the review, Sweet_Dreams. ^^
 

Acrutheo

The boundless night~
302
Posts
15
Years
After having some family problems, I have decided to return to PC and continue this story. :D I come bearing two gifts: a summary of the events thus far (for those that want to refresh their memory but don't want to have to reread everything again), and Chapter Six (which, I'm afraid, may be a bit rusty, but bobandbill did 'BETA' it). Enjoy. :)

Summary:
Spoiler:


Chapter Six: Hell
Darkness faded into dimness. Tiredly, Watson opened his eyes. Where was he? What happened? Suddenly features began to appear - it felt like he had been asleep for days. The last thing he remembered, he was in Lilycove - and - and the battle! Of course!

The room was small, intimidating, and subfusc. Watson sat in an uncomfortable wooden chair, across from a skinny man with greying brunette hair. To Watson's left, there was a mirror, which, as he suspected, was two-way. He was stripped of his Guard uniform and his pokémon, and sat with a drab, bole robe draped across him.

The middle-aged man leaned across the table and spoke in a confident voice, "Tell me your name, Guard."

"Wh-what?"

"Your name, please, young man." He shook his head solemnly. "You're just a boy, aren't you? They're sending 'em into battle younger and younger these days."

Watson's natural suspicion kicked in, and he lied. "My name is Matthew."

"Well, Matthew, look at the situation you're in now. Do you know where we are?"

Watson leaned back in defiant silence.

"It's your choice, actually. Stay like that and this place will be your tomb: we rebels are no less ruthless than the Empire in punishing those who defy us. One of your comrades that we captured refused to talk, so we dug a Weedle horn into his foot, stripped him bare, and threw him into a cell. It'll take about three days for the poison to reach his vital organs." Watson's interrogator paused. "In the meantime, he can enjoy the painful leg rot that will be setting in shortly.

"On the other hand, you could cooperate. Unless you feel so indebted to your Empire that you are willing to become a martyr for them? Are your principles that strong, Matthew?"

Watson scoffed. "I hardly became a Guard because I'm a patriot. I came for the lifestyle of luxury and rule. What can a group of outcasts possibly give me that is equivalent to that?"

"You're a shrewd boy, Matthew, so consider this: when faced with a torturous death, is life not its own luxury?"

Watson thought about this, and realised the logic in his interrogator's answer. He despised this position he was in – a position of weakness. His adversary had, at his disposal, thousands of people who would kill him, and pokémon at his waist. To help gain some emotional stability, Watson afforded himself a little power, and decided to pose a question to his captor. "What is your name?"

"My name is Matthew," smirked the interrogator. "Quid Pro Quo, I'm afraid."

Was Watson that easy to read? Or was he just surrounded by a lot of emotionally adept people? "Very well, old man: my name is Watson, now tell – "

Eyes widening, the man commanded, "Boy, what is your last name?"

"Young, why?"

"Oh," he said, sounding profusely disappointed. "As per our understanding, my name is Gary Moore."

"Why were you so interested in my last name?" Watson was curious.

"Unimportant," he said, waving his hand dismissively. "So, Watson, have you made your decision? Shall it be the Weedle horn, or life as an Enemy of the State?"

Watson ignored the question in his desperate struggle for some power in this conversation. "Why me?"

"Nothing personal, kid. It's just that Guards make the best Rebels, ironically enough. They've had strict pokémon training and almost always operate out of self-interest, so they come to our way of thinking when we tell them of how they'll be executed. Now, do not stall anymore. Answer the question: Weedle or Rebel?"
Watson took no time in coming to his answer.

"Rebel."


******​

Watson now found himself sitting on a plastic, crimson chair in a wide, circular room, with many other rebels. Gary was at the centre of the room, projecting a loud voice across the hall. It was hardly as lavish as the rooms of the Hoods, and did not possess any unnecessary aesthetic features, but certainly did not possess the rotting walls of Citizen houses.

"Well done to those who went into Lilycove three days ago. We have been deeply successful, and now welcome six new rebels to our ranks!"

At this announcement, there was a cheer. Watson found this brotherhood sickening. And then he realised: these people were brainwashed. The rebellion possessed all the cult-like elements of the Empire. Would Hoenn be any better off if the Rebels won?

"And we have uncovered a plan, one that is not worth cheering about." Gary's face was solemn. "We managed to uncover the opening page of Operation Sweeping Sky. We could not retrieve the others, but allow me to read to you a paragraph from it.

"'The Emperor has made it clear that his rule over Hoenn is insufficient. After capturing Bjorn Eckleberry, inventor of the first stable master ball, we have decided that we shall use him to improve the power of the ball. With this, we shall capture the Legendary Pokémon, and launch an attack on the region of Johto. Our forces shall eventually move to Kanto. The end result shall be the acquisition of two colonies.'"

The hall was silent. Nobody spoke. Nobody moved.

Deathly silence.

Watson had heard the terms "Kanto" and "Johto" in passing reference, and understood that they were tribal savages that had not learned to tame pokémon, and rejected the Emperor's society. But now he realised that those descriptions must be lies: these places must be alternate civilisations!

And now, they were to be captured. Soon, they would have to endure the same hell that every Citizen of Hoenn had to endure every day.

"As we know, this would also mean the death of the rebellion. We simply cannot compete with the Empire if they can use the legendary Rayquaza to send a bolt of lightning that would kill ten at once, or the legendary Jirachi to seek out our bases with its psychic powers. This is it, my friends. We have been so far working on acts of sabotage, and occasionally intelligence and counterintelligence. But this is where it gets serious.

"It is now a race against the Empire: can we topple them before they can perfect the master ball?"

******​

"Amicus! Ira!"

The houndoom and scyther rushed towards him, after being released from their master balls, delivered to Watson's cabin. The joy in Ira's face to be reunited with Watson meant that she had forgiven Watson's cruelty to the child a few days ago.

Amicus looked around, sniffed the air, and asked, "<Where are we, Watson?>"

"Change of plans, Amicus. We've – well – switched sides."

Ira's face lightened up immediately upon hearing this news, and she said her name several times, in gratitude.

Watson bowed his head sadly, saying, "Ira, it's not what you think. I may not be a Guard anymore, but I'm working for an organisation that is just as cruel. It tortures those who do not help it. It enslaves and indoctrinates people. As you may have seen, it commits terrorist activities that kill and wound innocent civilians. The only difference between the Empire and the Rebels is their power. We're still working for a diabolical organisation."

Watson smiled a sad smile, but Ira sunk to the floor, not happy enough to beat her wings.

"<Ira, cheer up.>" Amicus touched his nose to Scyther's arm compassionately.

"<How can I, Amicus? This world is evil. When I am wild, I become captured. When I am captured, my captor is cruel. When he is not, those he works for are cruel. And my claws are used to commit these cruel acts!>"

Watson could only respond with a sad nod.

"<Ira, that's how the world works. Watson and I hate it too. But there is no escaping reality. Sometimes our duty is to do what we cannot see as moral. But we must do it. That doesn't make you a bad pokémon.>"

"<We are defined by our actions, are we not?>"

"<True, but when we must do things, we must disregard ethics. Ethics cannot apply to actions we must perform, but only to those that we choose.>"

"<But we do have a choice, Amicus! We can choose to run away! But we fear for Watson! We fear for ourselves! Ultimately, all pokémon who perform terrible deeds are too cowardly to do the right thing.>"

"It is unreasonable for you to thrust yourself into a life of fear, Ira," Watson said. "Your choice may not be completely taken from you, but is limited severely. If you flee from me so that you may avoid the deeds that I am ordered to see happen, you will just be captured by someone else. Someone crueler. And all the while you will live in fear. What we have, Ira, is friendship. It can help us get through these acts which we must perform: it gives us a positive purpose amongst all the negative."

Ira's wings beat sadly in depressed acknowledgement.

******​

"Arcanine, what did you bring me? Oran Berries? Delicious!"

It was a small riverbed, the ground drenched in autumnal leaves. The man was leaning up against a small, brown, withering tree; one of many that surrounded this serene place. A nice little secret deep in the rarely visited bush east of Pallet Town.

An old man, white-haired, bearded, and muscular, gratefully gripped the blue berry and hungrily gulped it down. "Do you remember when I was so rich that even you could enjoy roast combusken cuisine?"

The Arcanine barked reminiscently. "<Yeah, I know, buddy.>"

The man paused and looked at his companion. "Do you think what I'm doing is wrong?"

The orange and black-striped canine simply stared into the old man's eyes. It was a question the old man had asked him so many times, and yet, neither could find a conclusive answer. About twenty years ago, this old man went by the name Walt to his friends.

Walter Whittaker to the public.

But, he went by no name now. He never stayed in one place too long, forced to live a nomadic life due to the spies of the Empire, which lurked throughout the world, in search of him, and the other Public Enemy.

"You know, Arcanine, it's been fifteen years, if I'm not much mistaken. You know what that means."

The Arcanine barked solemnly.

"How long do you think it will take him? It'll certainly be nice to come out of hiding."

Until then, Walt could only wonder what was happening in the Empire, and to those inside it. And, knowing the Emperor, he could only think of one word to describe it.

Hell.
 
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Acrutheo

The boundless night~
302
Posts
15
Years
Chapter Seven: True Power
A little auburn-haired six-year old pranced around the school garden, jubilance galore. There were rose bushes, lush grass, and fences small enough to climb on; the world was a playground: so many games, so much fun to be had, so little time. The only thing more that this happy child could want was a father.

"Oi! Brat! What are you doing?"

A slit-faced figure wearing heavy armour was beckoning to him in the distance.

"Nothing, mister! Hey, can I see your pokémon?"

"What? No!" The Guard was fuming. This kid wasn't scared at all! "Learn your place, you snivelling little runt! You don't talk to me like that!"

The kid chuckled. "Bet ya can't catch me, old man!" Full of glee, the child ran off, not possessing the fear that every other child did. And, of course, the child's challenge was met rather swiftly, the Guard quickly scooping up the gleeful thing.

And then kicking him to the ground.

The child cried in pain: this was no game. Two older teachers in the distance pleaded silently. A younger one stood and nodded.

"You wanna see my pokémon, kid? Alright, I'll show it to you! Scyther!"

The Guard released a gigantic emerald insect that towered over the small boy, now cowering in the foetal position. Across its eye was a deep, terrifying scar, one that would haunt the boy for years to come. The Guard cried viciously, "Slash!"

The Scyther lifted its claw, and mercilessly cut the small child. Blood gushed from his thigh. Scream after scream echoed and tear after tear dropped. This was the most excruciating thing the poor child had ever felt. Fear swallowed him, and the poor thing fell unconscious.

Watson woke from his dream with a weak squeak, his shirt drenched in cold sweat. It was one that he experienced on a frequent basis for the past nine years. He shook his head, lay down again in the white sheets, and tried to allow sleep to cradle him.

Unsuccessfully.

The most horrible emotion plagued Watson, brought alive by his nightmare. Guilt. Watson recalled, in his short time as a Guard, the attack on the small child, for the offense of exhibiting as much nonconformity as Watson once did. Watson usually did not feel much compassion for his fellow man, least of all those who cause anger to him, but he couldn't help but feel regret for his vicious strike upon that small, nameless child.

Would the child remember the attack as bitterly as Watson remembered his? Would it change his joy into anger, like it did to Watson? He would never know; this ate him inside more than anything else. He would never know what would become of the one he destroyed.

******

One could think of the Rebels and the Empire as two separate governments: one in power; one in exile. The government in power grows overconfident and complacent, so suffers multiple inefficiencies; the one in exile has only limited resources and is desperate, so it compensates by being efficient. And such was the issue with the computers in the Guard Headquarters on Mt. Pyre.

The Empire had outlawed computers for all but the very elite to own; their computer security engineers did the bare minimum; the Rebels stole a few computers and kidnapped skilled technicians; the Rebels broke into the system.

Such hacking was done sparingly, for it was traceable, and breaches would lead to a hysteria in the Empire which would lead them to significantly improve their security infrastructure. The Rebels knew about a security hole in their systems for months, but waited for the right opportunity to exploit it.

Operation Sweeping Sky was that opportunity.

And now, through this exploit, the Rebellion had the whole eighty-one page brief, and the many pieces of sensitive information that came with it. They now knew that Eckleberry was scheduled to have a proper master ball finished three months from now, that Olivine City was the Empire's planned port of attack, and that Public Enemy Number Two was last spotted just outside of Ecruteak City.

"Who's Public Enemy Number Two?" Watson inquired, upon receiving a copy of the brief.
The person he had asked was a nineteen-year old Rebel called Lew. Lew was a buff, blond-haired former Guard, and had been working with the Rebels for two years. His eyes were a penetrating brown, and he was quite stout. Watson had taken an immediate liking to Lew: much like Watson, Lew originally joined as an alternative to execution.

Over the years, Lew had told Watson, he realised that, despite its cultish behaviour, the Rebellion was ultimately united in a good cause: the death of the Emperor. It was just that the leaders could not tolerate dissent in order to achieve this goal, and the incompetence of the Empire needed to be constantly reinforced to the public through terrorism. Lew also noted, "Nothing could be worse than this hellhole, Watson. Nothing."

Lew also noted that the Rebellion was an easier place to get promoted to the top positions, a prospect which made Watson interested. The Rebels were far more interested in merit and new ideas than the Empire, which wanted conformity to the twisted worldview of its leader.

"Public Enemy Number Two is really not public at all," joked Lew. "We have strong reason to believe that it was a man named Flynn, who was the original right-hand man of the Emperor. You see, back before the Emperor seized control, Flynn was the Minister of Finance in the Republic – essentially the second most powerful position after the President.
"He was used by the Emperor to corrupt the entire system and poison the administration with corruption and incompetence – more than it already had. He was the real architect behind the fall of the Republic – the Emperor just coordinated the revolution, and had the most charisma.

"Eventually, Flynn tried to kill the Emperor – nobody knows why. We have our theories, but they're mostly baseless. He failed, obviously, and then fled Hoenn. Nobody has a clue where he is now, and the Ecruteak spotting is probably a lie to motivate the Hoods. Some think he's dead. At least they have an idea where Public Enemy Number One – Walter Whittaker – is. But even with him, it's still pretty vague: Southern Kanto."

Watson smiled, and had mixed feelings on Whittaker. In school, he learned about Whittaker as a deadly tyrant who knew how to command savage pokémon, and used them to massacre those who opposed him, until the courageous Emperor destroyed him. This, of course, was a complete lie.

Watson now knew that Whittaker had not stayed, but had fled like a coward, and ran a system that certainly had pokémon under control. He also knew that upon the creation of the Empire, the Emperor released a Public Enemy list to the Hoods – one that spanned over three-hundred names. And yet Whittaker was clever enough to be one of two that managed to evade the Emperor. He was a coward, but a clever coward.

"By the way, Watson, we need to improve your team soon."

"Oh?"
"You only have a Houndoom and a Scyther. Two admirable pokémon, but you'll need another one soon, and you'll need to train your current ones."

"You speak of pokémon as if they are tools," said Watson coldly, his eyebrows lowering.

"I know that you have a certain… affinity for them, but as far as we're concerned, they are. You can treat them how you like outside of battle, but you've got to be realistic, mate." Lew leant back, a vague smile upon his face, mildly amused at Watson's opinions.

"Ever consider how much power a pokémon could have in battle if a pokémon knew that it was fighting in battle with you, and not for you?"

"Interesting concept, but unproven." Lew shrugged. "Let's test your theory. I have pokémon, and I can see them for what they are. Physically, they're stronger than yours. Let's see if affection gives yours more power."

Watson smirked; Lew's arrogance would be his downfall.

******
"Two on two, then?"

They stood in one of the many underground rebel stadiums. The floor was dirt, with markings for boundaries; a big pokéball-shaped outline to mark the centre. There were a few chairs on the side for spectators, but they were empty.

"Sure. Ira, go!"

"You've got no chance: Machoke, show him the meaning of strength!"

The two creatures materialised from their purple balls: a giant, green insect staring down a muscular, light blue, humanlike fighter.

"Ira, Double Team! Surround him!"

Two illusory copies rapidly propelled themselves from Scyther, and the trio surrounded the machoke in an attempt to confuse it in a whir of emerald.

"Foresight! Submission!"

Machoke's eyes glowed the seven colours of the rainbow, and it immediately grabbed the real Scyther, causing the copies to disappear. Ira struggled, but the machoke's strength was irresistible, and it dived the poor bug powerfully into the ground, causing the wind to get knocked out of her.

"Do it again, machoke!"

"Ira, agility!"

The machoke tried to lift Scyther off the ground again, but Ira responded by shaking every part of her body with incredible speed, causing friction burns. Machoke released her, grunting in pain, and she darted rapidly into the air, turned, and dove at Machoke with incredible speed.

"Vital throw!"

The Machoke went to grab the incoming green bullet, but Ira reacted quickly, as she dove under machoke's outstretched arms, and struck him under the chin with surprising power, causing him to stumble and fall.

"Dive again!"

"Revenge!"

Ira darted upwards and downwards, swooping for the kill. Machoke tensed and grunted, a seemingly supernatural rage filling every muscle in his face, preparing itself to grab the charging insect.

Was Machoke fast enough?

Machoke launched its entire body into the descending scyther, who moved to the left.

Too slowly.

Ira was flung across the stadium and landed with a painful thud against the opposite wall. No movement.

"Friendship didn't help you there, Watson."

"Getting cocky, Llewellyn?" Gary had entered the room, and was sitting down on the metal chair. He wore a black suit: expensive, like the higher-level Suits would wear. "Don't underestimate him just because he's new."

"Nah, boss, just seeing how effective his strategy is," said Lew, raising his palms.

Gary raised an eyebrow. "And you don't think you have an unfair advantage?"

"He should at least be able to hold his own, if his philosophy is as effective as he hypothesises."

Watson respected Lew for his strength, his perceptiveness, and even admired his arrogance. There was just something that irritated him though. The fact that Lew could not share Watson's admiration for pokémon. Watson often held harmless pokémon from his cynical views of reality; maybe it was time to be more inclusive?

"Amicus, destroy him."

The houndoom barked as it materialised from the red light, its horns lowered, prepared for battle.

"Seismic Toss!"

"Smokescreen!"

The machoke launched forward, but was now gripped in Amicus's smoke. Where was he?
"Foresight, Machoke!"

"Thunder Fang!"

Machoke's eyes glowed, and it began to see through the smoke. But not fast enough. Amicus, his fangs bright with flickering electricity, launched himself into the back of Machoke. Sparks flew and Machoke squirmed, unable to release itself from the powerful jaw of houndoom.

"Hold on, Amicus!"

Determination seared in Amicus's eyes. It was not going to let go. It was not going to falter. No matter how much his prey squirmed, there would be no relent. No mercy. Machoke squirmed in pain as the electricity ran through his body, paralysing and weakening him.
And fell.

Amicus stood triumphant, proudly towering over the defeated machoke. Lew grimaced as he opened his master ball to return his machoke. On the side, Gary crossed his arms and sat back in his chair, fascinated that a newcomer's pokémon could defeat a veteran's.

"I've got to admit, Watson, that houndoom of yours is pretty tough. But, not tough enough. Go, probopass!"

A giant pokémon with an abnormally large red nose and metallic skin emerged. At the top of its head was a thick crimson disc, and beneath its nose, a bushy moustache.

"Probopass, Magnet Bomb!"

"Dodge it, Amicus!"

Probopass opened its mouth and released a large sphere of silver light, which rapidly headed for Amicus. Amicus admirably dodged to the side, and the ball went into the distance.

And curved around.

It now approached Amicus from behind with increasing speed, ready to strike him down. Amicus darted away, but was too slow. The ball of energy struck Amicus to the ground, causing him to slide painfully across the floor to be in front of Probopass.

"Flamethrower!"

"Discharge!"

A burst of spectacular fire released itself from Amicus's mouth, and Probopass released an incredible explosion of yellow energy. Both strikes hit the other at point-blank range; Amicus was thrown across the room; Probopass was pushed back, and had char marks across its body.

Amicus rose. And fell. He struggled on the ground, weakened by the electricity of Probopass.

"Finish him off. Magnet Bomb!"

Probopass released another sphere of energy from its mouth, which rapidly locked on to Amicus, and pushed him yet further across the room. He was badly injured and paralysed now.

But, he refused to give up, strain etched in every feature in his face.

"Amicus, you don't have to keep fighting," Watson assured, in an almost soft tone.
The houndoom gave a weak, dismissive grunt, and sent a burst of fire through the air towards the enemy probopass. Watson had to admire his pokémon's strength and determination. The stream of fire faltered halfway to probopass, and Amicus could finally stand no more, and slumped to the ground in exhaustion. He slowly closed his eyes for a well-earned rest.

Watson flashed Amicus a short smile, and withdrew him to his purple ball. Lew looked immensely satisfied. Gary rose.

"Incredible, Watson. Absolutely incredible. You took down a powerful machoke, and your houndoom is certainly quite the determined one. Tomorrow, we'll see what you can do with a third pokémon."

"Hey – Gary, I was the one who won! And I was limiting myself to half the pokémon I actually have!"

"True, but you have had two years of experience, Lew. It won't be long before he will be victorious against you."

Watson smirked. It seemed he had earned the notice of a very experienced pokémon trainer, Gary, and had nearly toppled someone who had far more experience than he. He realised he was approaching his goal, ever faster now.

True power.
 

Sweet Dreams

[I]are made of these~[/I]
703
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Oh, lookie here. I come back online to Pokecommunity and have two posts to read. Just two things...

a mirror, which, as he suspected, was two-way
Um, I might be wrong (although I don't think so), but I believe you were aiming for "one-way mirror", not two. A one-way reflects the image on one side, whilst being transparent when seen from the other. If that makes sense.

And two, I must say that I think you've improved on your descriptions, and slowed down. Walter's really starting to become mushy and touchy-feely with his Pokemon now, isn't he? I'm not sure why, but it seemed a little excessive - a little much in too little time.

But, I have to say, I've sorely missed this story. Good ta see ya back.
 

EricDaRed

Herald of A New Era
24
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  • Age 39
  • Seen Dec 31, 2009
I enjoyed the read, even if I read it QUITE late.

Maybe this 'bump' in the thread list will help. Take care.
 
10,174
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  • Age 37
  • Seen yesterday
Acrutheo hasn't been on the forum in over a year. Even still, you shouldn't bump threads that over a month old.

Thread closed.
 
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