Pokemon Blade Version

[Shockcom]

STORY

In Blade Version, your a young boy who has been asked to see Proffesor Gary Oak, the Newly arived Proffesor in Old Bark Town. You go and meet him, and he gives you a pokemon. *You choose pokemon, starters not decided yet. He asks you to raise it and battle with it to make it stronger. So you take it into the forest and battle. Then you come home to find Proffesor Oak has gone out on buisness. You walk home to go to bed. You wake up after hearing a loud noise. You go outside and suddenly, Team Blade is there. They have stormed the Professors lab, and they are stealing the rare pokemon. You, frigtend beyond comprehension, go and... TO BE CONTINUED.

Team Blade:
Well, I was thinking that team blade would be a team of people, who at birth were taken from their familys and trainied in the care and capture of pokemon. There goal is to find rare pokemon and raise them. But their leader has dark plans. He has a group of people called his council who help him make dedcisions. His plans are to capture Darkleon, A legendary pokemon, and use him to create a new dimension for team blade to live in. But it would destroy The original dimensions.

Stuff
First, this game is already been started. It is being developed on Multimedia Fusion 2 and is looking up, I have a full pokedex and need more people to sprite and stuff. (Im bad.) Also need story writers! Ill do alot myself, I just need more people to make sure im not going overboard. Anyone with MMF2 Exp will definately be accepted onto the team. Thanks :-)

[▲]

Blade Version...this is sure to be interesting.

Originally Posted by Shockcom

STORY Once upon a time...

In Blade Version, your a young boy who has been asked to see Proffesor Gary Oak So we're in the anime continuity...alright., the Newly arived Proffesor in Old Bark Town [/laughing] You're seriously calling it that? Uhhhhhh.... You go and meet him, and he gives you a pokemon Why?. *You choose pokemon, starters not decided yet. He asks you to raise it and battle with it to make it stronger Okay, so I'm a pkmn trainer...what's the so-what here?. So you take it into the forest and battle. Then you come home to find Proffesor Oak has gone out on buisness 'kay.... You walk home to go to bed. You wake up after hearing a loud noise Of course.... You go outside and suddenly, Team Blade I honestly didn't see this coming, but...whyyyyyy must it be an evil organisation? is there. They have stormed the Professors lab Lemme guess, they take some important research or something?, and they are stealing the rare pokemon That's it?! There's gotta be some other reason they came.... You, frigtend beyond comprehension, go and... TO BE CONTINUED.

Stuff
First, this game is already been started. It is being developed on Multimedia Fusion 2 Huh, I've actually never heard of this... and is looking up, I have a full pokedex and need more people to sprite and stuff. (Im bad.) Also need story writers! Ill do alot myself, I just need more people to make sure im not going overboard. Anyone with MMF2 Exp will definately be accepted onto the team. Thanks :-)

Is there anything radically different about the story that you haven't shared yet, or is that it? I suspect you have more, so I'm asking for it...'cause, as it looks right now, it's just a pile of generic cliches when it probably doesn't have to.

[wandererwillow]

Originally Posted by Shockcom

STORY
You, frigtend beyond comprehension, go and... TO BE CONTINUED.

NO! BAD DOG! BAD BAD DOG!

Don't you EVER do a "to be continued" like that. It's childish, it's retarded, and it's meant to be a cliffhanger when there's nothing to get excited about. Finish the story, don't just do some cut off like that and then expect us to be hooked. It's the cheap way out of going into details.

Completely agree with the above poster too, this is more generic than a Twilight. It's more bland than white rice.

[Shockcom]

Dude! I havent thought up the rest yet. Theres no other reason to why I would want to say that. Also, I have been writing more just need more writers to help me get down the best ideas and help me get the storyline better.

[▲]

Originally Posted by Shockcom

Dude! I havent thought up the rest yet. Theres no other reason to why I would want to say that.

Okay...why the name Team Blade, then? What're their goals? Who are their leaders? Do they have enemies? Do they have some connection to Gary?

[wandererwillow]

Then maaaaaaaybe you should think of more before coming here and saying it. You've pretty much explained an already existing game. Let me show you.

In Blade Version, your a young boy who has been asked to see Proffesor Gary Oak, the Newly arived Proffesor in Old Bark Town. You go and meet him, and he gives you a pokemon. *You choose pokemon, starters not decided yet. He asks you to raise it and battle with it to make it stronger. So you take it into the forest and battle. Then you come home to find Proffesor Oak has gone out on buisness. You walk home to go to bed. You wake up after hearing a loud noise. You go outside and suddenly, Team Blade is there. They have stormed the Professors lab, and they are stealing the rare pokemon. You, frigtend beyond comprehension, go and... TO BE CONTINUED.

And now...

In almost every pokemon game, a young boy or girl goes to the town lab and gets a pokemon from the professor in one way or another, then is asked to raise it and become a pokemon trainer. Enter Team Rocket/Magma/Evil Corporation. They're doing something dastardly, normally stealing pokemon and scaring dogs with vacuums. You must fight them, and... TO BE CONTINUED

Creativity at its finest.

[Shockcom]

Well, I was thinking that team blade would be a team of people, who at birth were taken from their familys and trainied in the care and capture of pokemon. There goal is to find rare pokemon and raise them. But their leader has dark plans. He has a group of people called his council who help him make dedcisions. His plans are to capture Darkleon, A legendary pokemon, and use him to create a new dimension for team blade to live in. But it would destroy The original dimensions.

[wandererwillow]

Originally Posted by Shockcom

Well, I was thinking that team blade would be a team of people, who at birth were taken from their familys and trainied in the care and capture of pokemon. There goal is to find rare pokemon and raise them. But their leader has dark plans. He has a group of people called his council who help him make dedcisions. His plans are to capture Darkleon, A legendary pokemon, and use him to create a new dimension for team blade to live in. But it would destroy The original dimensions.

So Team Blade = Team Rocket + PETA? Come on, a leader with a dark plan and a group that helps him make decisions (so then is it really even his plan?) and why would they be capturing all these other pokemon if the leader just wants that one? How would it create a "new dimension"? Why in the hell would they want to live there?

[▲]

Originally Posted by wandererwillow

Then maaaaaaaybe you should think of more before coming here and saying it. You've pretty much explained an already existing game. Let me show you.

Since that concerns you so much, why don't you help him?

Bolds:

Originally Posted by Shockcom

Well, I was thinking that team blade would be a team of people, who at birth were taken from their familys By the elader? and trainied in the care and capture of pokemon Hm, so this guy is a twisted person who messes with people? Interesting.... There goal is to find rare pokemon and raise them To battle with? To...steal with? To overthrow the gov't? To be an elitist group and little else?
Well, obviously they stole some of Gary's pkmn...oh, is Gary any older, or is this a little after 'present time'?. But their leader has dark plans. He has a group of people called his council ....like admins, I guess... who help him make dedcisions. His plans are to capture Darkleon That name needs to be changed. It sounds like a runner-up when the dubbers were naming Umbreon..., A legendary pokemon Of what? Is it an animal or something more abstract/celestial like Cresselia or the Regis?, and use him to create a new dimension Sounds like DPPt... for team blade to live in. But it would destroy The original dimensions ...because they're better than everyone else with their strong pkmn? Does it have to be a new dimension ('cause not every legend can have that sort of ability), or could it be somehow 'cleansing' or 'purging' the current one? For example, maybe there's a Fire type that could burn the planet...and leave Team Blade standing because, as we know from the Ponyta episode a while ago, Fire types can make people immune to their flames if they choose..

Oh, by the way, where is this pkmn and how do they harness its power?

[Shockcom]

There capturing all the pokemon as cover/ they need to populate the new dimension dont they? And they wanna live there because they dont like the normal dimension with all of our polution and cars. and stuff

Im not sure how they harness its power. Maybe a move that will be available when you catch the pokemon? Like Dimensional Rift? This is what I need more people for!

[wandererwillow]

Look, the reason I'm saying that you need to do more thinking and not just rely on the idea of others is that you still are hitting extremely generic cliches over and over. It's easy to copy what exists, but it's not that hard to come up with something new.

Change things up a bit. Don't overuse what everyone else seems to do and go with your own, fully new idea. You don't need others to do that for you. Ask for help to fill the small gaps, not build the big bridges.

Honestly, best thing I can say is that if you're going that route, completely redo the start. I got a good feeling most of this is being made up as you go, and while that's not always a bad thing, you're going to need to do alot more fine tuning.

[▲]

This is a total stretch, but if this tactful leader of Team Blade can get a bunch of people to follow him along with the rare+powerful pkmn they steal, couldn't he just get the legend to buy into his vision of a 'new world' where him and it rule? I bet the legend would find a little convincing appealing...

[Shockcom]

Gary is old and looks alot like oak in this game. So its somewhat in the future. Darkleon, i see how that is bad thanks for pointing it out. I was thinking they went to gary to steal info on darkleon, because gary had found Darklean a long time ago (Like thats the real reason why he became a proffesor, to protect darkleon.) Plus they dont want to purge the dimension because is tainted irreviersably.

I am makeing this up as I go along. You guys are helping me fill in the gaps and stuff. Thanks

[h POKE]

This game is kind of sad in terms of the story... There's absolutely nothing to make it stand out, no originality, no appeal, no... need I say more?
Try a little harder, study other games (study, not copy), learn more about making them, and for god's sake go take an English class.
But anyways, to be serious:
What power does Darkleon have that makes it so desirable?
If the members of Team Blade are so concerned with protecting pokemon and having unselfish goals, why would they be attracted into following the man with simply the most rare pokemon?
Also, a move allowing the player to travel between dimensions seems gimmicky, if not just plain dumb.

The main reason why no one wants to help you with this project is because it fails to be any different from anything any of us on this forum have seen before.