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Writer's Lounge Need advice? Want to give advice? Come on in and share ideas with your fellow writers. Just remember, all fics go in the main forum.

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  #1    
Old June 30th, 2009, 07:34 PM
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Okay here is an idea that I am actually going to try and do. So don't Pester Me!
And, to answer the question about the fetish, no because that is worshiping an inanimate object or having children. I just have some weird problem with torturing female characters, like Amy rose.

Okay this idea is taking place in the smash bros universe at the time of sonic unleashed. It starts with Dawn, Lucas, and Pearl witnessing Dark Gaia rising (that's right, they are on the island in the opening (of the game)) and goes into wacky events such as Dawn being abducted by possessed party people to meeting King Boom Boo himself. As the story goes on they witness the final battle. Oh and Pearl tries to kill himself by trying to jump of the edge of the continent. I'm going to try and not torture Dawn to much okay.



Enough info for ya? Just don't give the same advice you gave the other times.
I'm going to South Dakota so don't expect a reply 'till I get there.
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  #2    
Old June 30th, 2009, 07:49 PM
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LULWUT? xD

Somehow I just knew this was related to Sonic Unleashed. xD

ANyway...

Quote:
Okay this idea is taking place in the smash bros universe at the time of sonic unleashed. Okay... It starts with Dawn, Lucas, and Pearl witnessing Dark Gaia rising (that's right, they are on the island in the opening (of the game)) Wha? I thought they where in the Smash Bros univurse! and goes into wacky events such as Dawn being abducted by possessed party people to meeting King Boom Boo himself. Haha, This I gotta see. As the story goes on they witness the final battle. Ah-Huh... Oh and Pearl tries to kill himself by trying to jump of the edge of the continent. I always knew this kid had somne issues but... WHA??? xD I'm going to try and not torture Dawn to much okay. Whatever.
My comments in BOLD
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  #3    
Old June 30th, 2009, 08:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Swampoleongaurdian View Post
Okay here is an idea that I am actually going to try and do. So don't Pester Me!
It's an old cliché, but actions speak louder than words. When you actually go to write one of these stories, we'll stop advising you that maybe you should sit down and write one of them.

Quote:
And, to answer the question about the fetish, no because that is worshiping an inanimate object or having children.
Erm...

Actually, it's probably better if someone else told you (because if there's one thing I don't actually do, it's intentionally corrupting minors), but that's not all that the word "fetish" means.

Quote:
Oh and Pearl tries to kill himself by trying to jump of the edge of the continent.
Not sure why. O_o My mind is thinking Pearl = Pokémon Special Pearl, which doesn't really compute in my head. I mean, Special characters tend to go through some heavy stuff on a daily basis, but usually, they're not suicidal unless something extreme happens (like Blue's parents being abducted by Deoxys).

That and suicide tends to be a pretty heavy subject in general. Unless you've got a really good reason for having them do it (other than for the sake of being angsty), it's usually a good idea to avoid it because otherwise, it may seem cheesy to some people or offensive to those who actually are (or have been) suicidal.

Other than that, this seems like a vague string of events. I mean, what exactly do Dawn and the others have to do with Dark Gaia rising, for example? Are they trying to stop it? Did they accidentally (or otherwise) do it themselves? Or are they just there?

I guess the main problem with this idea and all your other ideas is that you bring up major events, but you don't really go into how exactly the characters are related to them or how the concepts fit. As I've said above, for a major example, the characters witness Dark Gaia rising. That's great and all, but... what are they going to do about it? What are they planning? You don't have to be spoilertastic to just give us a basic overview of what the characters are planning and what their stance is in relation to the plot.

In a nutshell, that's really just it. You offer ideas, but a summary is basically just a description of a major event and how the characters relate to them. I'd suggest reading the Fanfiction Announcement Thread for some decent examples of what I mean. Alternatively, Fanfiction.net requires you to submit a summary with all of your fanfics. They're short compared to what we'd need to figure out what it is you're doing and how to give you advice, but they're still a springboard to help you understand the kind of information we need to judge whether or not this is a good idea. Otherwise, your idea comes off as a random journey with no real coherent links to each event.
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  #4    
Old June 30th, 2009, 08:33 PM
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I'm getting annoyed now. I've given feedback on some of your other ideas, and so have many other people, yet you carry on posting more and more. You might have every intention to write this fanfiction, but we can't take your word for that. It's like the boy who cried wolf. Every idea thread you post (especially in such quick succession) detracts from the chance that we're going to give you feedback. And you don't seem to be respecting the feedback that you are getting.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Swampoleonguardian
Enough info for ya? Just don't give the same advice you gave the other times.
This just tells us that you think all the ideas we gave you before aren't any good. It may not be what you mean, but that's what it sounds like.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Swampoleonguardian
So... do you have any advice for me?
Just asking.
^This one was after I gave you some advice . . .

What you seem to be asking for is for us to write the story for you. You come in here with the ghost of a plot and ask for ideas to bulk it up with. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the point of idea threads, really, is to check if a story seems viable, or if it's interesting enough that we want to read it.

Seriously, it was funny before, but now I see five of your threads in the top nine of the Writers' Lounge. It's starting to wear a little thin. Either write something or, well, write something.
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  #5    
Old June 30th, 2009, 09:27 PM
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fetish (n.) an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion.

Dawn is an object, a character in a fictional world.

A fetish is in no way having a baby, but yes in some cases it is revering an inanimate object. But the baby? No.

Anyways, I agree with Jax, if you are going to write a story, then write one already.
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  #6    
Old July 2nd, 2009, 08:25 AM
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The reason his name Pearl is because bulbapedia named the game rival Pearl and as for the attempted suicide, blame Dark Gaia spawns for possessing him, he doesn't want to die but the spirit possessing wants to keel him, and no offense Sparkling Dragon, but your pestering me.




Great, another idea gone to waste! just so you know, I'm not good at writing.
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  #7    
Old July 2nd, 2009, 10:15 AM
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I'm pestering you? How does that work? I'm just trying to get you to write something instead of posting endless idea threads. You obviously have plenty of ideas, so why don't you use some of them? There's no rule that says you have to post an idea thread before you post a story.

Look, if it bothers you, I won't reply to any future idea threads of yours, OK?

And don't give us the "I'm not a very good writer" excuse, please. Actually writing will help you get better, so don't try that one on us.

And your idea hasn't gone to waste. So nobody's commented on the actual idea? For starters, can you blame us? But that's not the point. The point is that you obviously haven't read my posts. Idea threads are not for us to write the story for you. They're pretty much for people to tell you whether they're good ideas or not, and perhaps point out something that might turn into a Mary Sue or a cliche. You're totally missing the point. Please, you need to write your fic yourself.
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  #8    
Old July 2nd, 2009, 02:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Swampoleongaurdian View Post
The reason his name Pearl is because bulbapedia named the game rival Pearl
Special Pearl = based on game Pearl, so close enough.

Quote:
and as for the attempted suicide, blame Dark Gaia spawns for possessing him, he doesn't want to die but the spirit possessing wants to keel him,
Okay, so now you open up the question of why you brought it up, considering it seems to be just another little piece to an overarching story. This is like if I talked about Anima Ex Machina by saying a Pokémon coordinator falls off a cliff at one point. Well, yeah, she does, but that's not what the story is actually about. That's only a smaller piece of an overall story. Instead, it's about the travels of a researcher infected by an alien parasite, his traumatized sister (the coordinator), and an Officer Jenny through Hoenn as all three of them look for a cure to the researcher's situation while said alien parasites plot to take over the region. Notice how the summary describes the plot generally, rather than in smaller details?

Again, the entire point to my other post is that, okay, while it seemed off that Pearl just randomly decided to commit suicide, ultimately, I was asking what your story was actually about. You tend to focus on the smaller details while failing to give us a bigger picture of what you're trying to do. We can't really help you unless we have that bigger picture.

Quote:
and no offense Sparkling Dragon, but your pestering me.
He isn't. In fact, he's got a point. The only person who's doing any pestering is you by constantly writing idea threads, not giving us enough information to go on, and ultimately not producing anything for us to review. Frankly, we'd much rather just see you sit down and write something we can enjoy than wait around for your ideas (of which you had some interesting ones) to grow blue and furry.

Quote:
Great, another idea gone to waste! just so you know, I'm not good at writing.
If you're looking for sympathy, I'd suggest trying the art forums instead.


Seriously, I'm sorry if I sound biting, but really, we're trying to help you. We really are. It's just you've got to meet us half way, bubbeleh.
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  #9    
Old July 2nd, 2009, 06:34 PM
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These threads are the lolsauce on my daily sandwich of comedy.

Here's the thing, Swampoleongaurdian. By posting here, you've asked for our input into how to make your stories/ideas/etc. better. From my point of view, however, these ideas you're coming up with sound like they're intended to please one person only, and that person would be you. Honestly, if you want to write these things, go the heck ahead and write them. If they're meant to be for your enjoyment, you don't necessarily need input from us. Yeah, it would probably help you write better if you sought our advice, but ultimately if the story is meant to be tailored specifically to your tastes, why would you ask us how you should go about it? They're your stories.

Now: if you post on this forum, you had better be ready to receive constructive criticism. That's pretty much what this area is here for in the first place. If that's not what you want, or you can't take it, then I would recommend not posting here at all.

Quote:
If you're looking for sympathy, I'd suggest trying the art forums instead.
Ooh, so cold. But also true.
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  #10    
Old July 4th, 2009, 11:14 PM
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Quote:
These threads are the lolsauce on my daily sandwich of comedy.
Genius. And Valentine, who said I was a 'he'?
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  #11    
Old July 5th, 2009, 06:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Sparkling Dragon View Post
And Valentine, who said I was a 'he'?
Obscure pronoun rules for any person or object for whom gender is ambiguous! :D

Whoops. Sorry. (Although those pronoun rules actually exist. Fun times, English language.)
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  #12    
Old July 5th, 2009, 08:37 AM
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Quote:
If you're looking for sympathy, I'd suggest trying the art forums instead.
Really, the art forums give sympathy? I was always on the basis that art was a dog eat dog world...

What the other's have said is true however, I'm starting to see your so called idea threads everywhere in the Writer's Lounge. Yet, in the actual fanfiction area, I rarely see your Fic. Also, you're starting to creep me out with your obsession with Sonic and Dawn.

Another thing, those words on the top of the banner in your Sig... Are they by any chance directed at us?
I'm too observative when it comes to trivial matters yet I can rarely find my own mistakes. Odd.

Ah yes, stop pestering us(the writer's lounge in general) for ideas, and start with your fic already. I dare ya. Lulz.
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  #13    
Old July 5th, 2009, 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Neo Groudon View Post
Really, the art forums give sympathy? I was always on the basis that art was a dog eat dog world...
Shh. You're not supposed to tell him that until after he goes and sees that we're Happy Fun Rainbow Unicorn Candy Land in comparison.

Quote:
Yet, in the actual fanfiction area, I rarely see your Fic.
Oh yes. Or, well, never, considering he's never actually posted a thread in the main forum.

I mean, don't get us wrong, Swampoleon. We're by no means discouraging you from writing or otherwise trying to be mean to you. We're actually making an effort to do the opposite. As in, we're saying, "For the love of all things good and holy, write." In other words, we're trying to shove you forwards for your own good because you keep cycling back to this part of the planning process, and if you get stuck in Development Hell, that's just not good for your growth as a writer.

That and we can't really tell if your ideas are going to be good or bad from an idea thread. That's actually why I don't like these things myself. I mean, any idea looks awesome on paper (as in, a bare-bones summary or planning thread), but sometimes, they go horribly, horribly wrong when an author tries to execute them. Alternatively, really stupid or mundane ideas turn out to be flipping epic when the author goes to write them.

These idea threads, meanwhile, usually serve only one purpose, and that's to ask whether or not there'd be any interest in the concept you're using. (In other words, it's a form of pre-writing hype.) Well, the truth of the matter is that there's always interest in every idea when it comes to this fandom. Even if we preach that OT stories are cliché, people still write them, and in certain communities, people get worshiped for them. It's when they turn out to be barely-readable piles of Mary Sue, logic rape, and/or general banality in the hands of a bad author that they turn from a decent idea into a bad one. The only way we can definitely, without-a-doubt tell that an idea is going to be a bad one is not from a one-page "how's this idea" thread. It's from actually sitting down and reading how the writer shapes the story.

Long rant short, Jax is not particularly fond of idea threads, not because they're clogging the forum but instead because they're rather silly questions to ask, considering ultimately, what makes a story bad or good is how it's written.

That and in order to fully enjoy your story, we're going to need some kind of actual story.

That and considering how you're summarizing your ideas, it might just be easier to actually make something to post in the main forum.

Quote:
Also, you're starting to creep me out with your obsession with Sonic and Dawn.
To be honest, I really don't see what's wrong with constantly coming up with ideas centering around one character. So long as you don't do things like completely disregard their characterization or write a self-insert in which you make like rabbits with a fictional character, sometimes, some people just feel more comfortable working with the stuff canon gives them.

Quote:
Another thing, those words on the top of the banner in your Sig... Are they by any chance directed at us?
If it is, Jax will be amused.
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Last edited by JX Valentine; July 5th, 2009 at 11:53 AM.
  #14    
Old July 8th, 2009, 05:26 PM
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I'm not going to do this. T_T
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Old July 8th, 2009, 09:11 PM
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Then I'll just close this to end the whole thing.
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