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  #1    
Old September 24th, 2009, 03:57 PM
ShinjisLover's Avatar
ShinjisLover
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Right behind you
Gender: Female
Nature: Lax
I'm going to write down my characterization because I really would like feedback on my characters so far. If you think something is cliché, or anything of the like, feel free to point it out and I'll figure out a way to tweak it and make it better (if you wanna go the extra mile and give me some helpful hints on what to tweak and how to do so, feel free).


First and foremost, because my story is set in the current Pokémon World, almost all of the main canon characters and the rivals will be in here. I may even reuse some CotD if I see they fit somewhere in my story. Now let's get on to my OCs.



Nareta {Protagonist}
As a young girl, Nareta's parents both died and she went to the foster care of her father's close friend, Koga. Koga's daughter, Anzu (I can't remember her name in English. . I think it's Janine) and Nareta develop a rivalry, started by Nareta, because Nareta could never beat Anzu in what her father had taught her: Ninjutsu. Nareta, being a terrible sore loser, is always agitated by Anzu's gloating. Nareta wanted desperately to do something - anything - to prove she could be better than her foster sister. Pokémon Training was what came to mind. However, Pokémon scare her. .


She started her journey at the age of 10; cliché, I know. Before she goes to choose a starter, she is angered by Anzu and runs into the woods. There, she is in the middle of wild Pokémon battle between a Poliwag and a Growlithe. The Growlithe nearly kills her with its powerful claws when a lightning bolt strikes it. She is saved by another Pokémon.


Nareta's personality is a complicated one, as she suffers from mood swings often. At first, she is cruel and hardened. But, because she had abandoned her Pokémon - her friend - she begins to feel the pain of losing someone close to her, as she had lost her parents. She goes through a depressed stage, even allowing herself to get beaten by one of the Team Rocket members and slapped by Giovanni because of her attitude after she had joined Team Rocket. Eventually, she pulls herself back on her feet. She joined Team Rocket because she considered herself to be 'righteous', but, because of the heinous acts against her Pokémon (she trained them without giving them a break, made them fight until the brink of death), she realized she was hypocrite; one of the reasons that made her change from cruel to kind.


She becomes a bit more kind-hearted, but is incredibly greedy. She doesn't get along well with other girls due to an extremely jealousy she has against them for being better than her at even the simplest of things. She can be pretty vain, but only to cover-up her own self-consciousness. She's also rather perverted, even going as far as to lay atop of her traveling partner whilst he slept or grab the breasts of her rival.


She falls in love with her traveling partner, but then falls in love with his brother. She and his brother begin to have a love affair and fall in and out of love while all the while she still loves her traveling partner.


More on her personality:
She is rather rash and never thinks before rushing into anything. Her sense of adventure is a little overzealous, as she sometimes gets herself into situations that are hopeless to experience a 'rush', as she calls it. She has a very foul mouth and cusses at pretty much everything. Not only that, but she's violent and enjoys picking fights with others. She also likes to stuff herself until she can't walk, being very gluttonous.


On the other hand, she is funny and usually nice to be around. She is free-spirited and kind to anyone who is kind to her. She is incredibly intelligent and athletic due to all of the ninjutsu training provided by Koga.



Naomi
Naomi, Nareta's main rival throughout the story, is almost the complete opposite of Nareta (the foil, I suppose she could be). She is level-headed and prefers cooperation to confrontation. Her sense of adventure is basically nonexistent. She would do pretty much anything for love, rather than sexual relations, and believes in many superstitions. Her Ambipom developed an extreme rivalry with Nareta's Raichu.


Naomi didn't get along with Nareta at all at first, but they eventually became friends after they realized the other wasn't as bad as they first thought.


The only common-ground Nareta and Naomi share is the love of Nareta's traveling partner which, even when they became friends, caused many conflicts between the two. Naomi promised that one day Nareta's Raichu would beat Ambipom "if she can keep up".


Naomi seems to be a bit pompous and proud, especially after she wins. However, when she loses, she's able to smile about it.


Naomi is very easily impressed and has an extreme love for Ground-type Pokémon.


She has had the following Pokémon on her team:
Spoiler:
Charizard
Ambipom
Flygon
Marowak
Sandslash
Tyranitar

Zakura
(Often mispronounced as Sakura by Nareta)
Zakura hates Nareta because Nareta always calls her 'Zakura' and mocks her clothes. Zakura, often having her mind clouded by anger, rarely beats Nareta. Her Venusaur has developed an extreme rivalry with Nareta's Gabite, who evolved from Gible after fighting Venusaur.


Zakura, when not around Nareta, has been shown to be incredibly kind and generous. However, she can be manipulative and shallow.


Despite having been a trainer for 10 years, Zakura is unusually inexperienced, not training as often as she should. She treats Pokémon more like pets than battling partners and prefers to study them rather than battle with them. When challenged, however, she can't back-down. It's "not in her nature to back-down from a challenge".


She claims her favorite pastime is making Pokémon food, Poffins, and PokéBlocks. She aims to get a Master Ball to complete her collection of Poké Balls.


She has had the following Pokémon on her team:
Spoiler:
Venusaur
Delibird
Dugtrio
Azumarill
Absol
Mr. Mime (taken from Nareta as a Mime Jr.)

Brianna
Brianna admires Nareta and her Pokémon. She is from America and traveled all the way to Japan to meet Nareta after seeing her in two Pokémon Leagues and many different contests (which Nareta participates in if and when she passes through a town with one). She gets on Nareta's nerves easily by being rather over-peppy. She had only three appearances and enjoys nicknaming her Pokémon.


She has had the following Pokémon on her team:
Spoiler:
Raichu (nicknamed Raichelle)
Blastoise (nicknamed Bobby)
Pachirisu (nicknamed Patricia)
Ledian (nicknamed Alice)
Minun (nicknamed Marrian)
Poliwag (nicknamed Nikki)
Tangrowth (nicknamed Marcus)

Hiiro
Hiiro is a trainer from Johto who received a Cyndaquil as his starter, who his nicknamed Titisu (a play-on of Titus). He has had only a few appearances and is shown to be immature and a crybaby. However, he cares a lot about his Pokémon. During his first appearance, Nareta battled his Cyndaquil, which evolved into Quilava. Once evolved, Titisu disregarded any and all commands given by Hiiro.


After appearing again, Titisu evolved into Typhlosion and went rampant.


He has only been shown to have Titisu and a Butterfree.



Narasami
(Often called Mimi)
Narasami is a girl from an evil organization (which I haven't yet named). She is a prideful girl who hates being made a fool of. She's a lot like Nareta, being a sore loser and rather rude toward other girls. Not only that, but she can be very gluttonous and jealous.


Unlike the rest of the organization, who only follow the order of their leader, she has a bigger dream of overthrowing the leader and taking over the organization. Afterwards, she will follow the plans that the leader had set out.


She's sadistic and manipulative, but is shown to generally care about her Pokémon, not counting her old Stantler, which Nareta took from her due to abuse.


Mimi has many different guns and often pulls them on anyone who gets in her way. She's forceful, but determined. She pushes her partner, Hizaki, around all the time and never allows him to have a word in edge-wise.


She has had the following Pokémon on her team:
Spoiler:
Tyranitar
Meganium
Aggron


Hizaki
Hizaki used to be from the same evil organization Narasami was from. However, he was forced to join by the leader, who is his father. He's spineless and a coward, but is fairly pompous regardless. Because he didn't want to be in that organization, he quit and traveled with Nareta, much to the dismay of Nareta's traveling partner. Due to the extreme rivalry between Nareta's partner and himself, he left Nareta to go take his own path.


He has had the following Pokémon on her team:
Spoiler:
Salamence
Houndoom


That's all I've got so far. What do you think?
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Last edited by ShinjisLover; September 24th, 2009 at 05:01 PM.
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  #2    
Old September 24th, 2009, 04:49 PM
Feign's Avatar
Feign
Clain
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Nature: Quirky
Nareta: There seems to be jumps in her personality. What was her personality like when she was with her parents? Then go from there to build off of how she acts like she does in her current state. You also might want to include a 'why' she started her journey at 10 years old. Though of course this could be either seen as common or uncommon, depending on how strict you are with the Canon.

Is one of the main themes to do with rivalries?

Sounds like Brianna is a stalker. XD

Hiiro sounds like a good character, just don't overplay the "crybaby" aspect.

So Hizaki would be the type to run from a battle and legitmize it?

Anyway, all I can suggest, is to keep the characters as realistic as possible, and try to determine (even in advance) how they would react to certain sitatuions, if presented with them, based on their personality thus far.

Hope that helps.
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  #3    
Old September 24th, 2009, 05:00 PM
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ShinjisLover
Later Potater!
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Right behind you
Gender: Female
Nature: Lax
Quote:
Nareta: There seems to be jumps in her personality. What was her personality like when she was with her parents? Then go from there to build off of how she acts like she does in her current state. You also might want to include a 'why' she started her journey at 10 years old. Though of course this could be either seen as common or uncommon, depending on how strict you are with the Canon.
Like I said, she is very moody. And, yes, she was like this with her parents. She started her journey at 10 because she wants to prove she's good at something that Anzu isn't (or may not be) good at, which also ties into the 'rash' part.

Quote:
So Hizaki would be the type to run from a battle and legitmize it?
It depends on the battle. As in who he's battling with and what Pokémon they have.
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  #4    
Old September 24th, 2009, 05:05 PM
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Citrinin
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Zealand
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
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Hey, ShinjisLover. Nice to see you in my neck of the woods. :D

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinjisLover
(I can't remember her name in English. . I think it's Janine)
I can confirm this.

I think all your characters obviously have a lot of thought and depth put into them. I love how you've loaded your protagonist with character flaws, yet not enough to make the reader despise her. :D In all, I think you're ready to proceed to the next stage of planning (or, if this was your last stage, to writing). ^^
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Old September 24th, 2009, 05:22 PM
Feign's Avatar
Feign
Clain
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Nature: Quirky
Ah, okay that clarifies as such. And I bet, it will look much better in story form, as opposed to analytic form, as it is now.
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  #6    
Old September 25th, 2009, 01:01 PM
ShinjisLover's Avatar
ShinjisLover
Later Potater!
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Right behind you
Gender: Female
Nature: Lax
Thank you for your feedback. ^^

I've started working on the overall plot. Because I daydream a lot (XD), I have a lot of scenes I can choose from to put into my story. I will also have many side-stories with the same characters (one with a Lugia/Ho-Oh showdown, another with Hypno taking over Nareta's body, one where Nareta is sent back in time by Celebi, and one with a Rayquaza); I'll probably post up the plot of the original and the side-stories in this same thread, so I'd appreciate more feedback from the two of you (of course, it's not obligatory). ^^

I'll probably also post up Nareta's Pokémon and their individual personalities. =P
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