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Old March 10th, 2010 (09:37 AM). Edited April 3rd, 2010 by Skull Guardian.
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Skull Guardian Skull Guardian is offline
I am now FrostPheonix.
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In front of my computer
Gender: Male
Posts: 44
Well, I have been fiddling around with the idea of a fan fic, my first one given up after half a page, and now I decided on Shadow Lugia.
Why Shadow Lugia? Because everyone regards it as EVIL. Ok, maybe not everybody, but most people. I am going to prove it wrong.
Please tell me if it is kind of boring at parts, and if I have to cut parts, because I am kinda new, and its hard to find one particular place to start posting and be regular.
Please dont sugarcoat any critic, but don't try to be down right cruel please.
Well, here goes!

Prologue?
Spoiler:
In the world of pokemon, legends arise. Legends fall. Regions are formed.
Currently, 7 regions have been discovered. But none have found the eighth: Zion. Lush with grass and the resting place of migrating pokemon, it has not been colonized by man. Legends have found it as a haven of peace and tranquility, where men have not defiled it. Mountains of immense size, and rivers that span all the way through the continent, grass the colour never seen before, Zion is wild. But one pokemon, that had once been pure, and the protecter of water, who can call forth typhoons in anger, that had been defiled, is now here, hiding from humans who have caused him so much pain; here resides Shadow Lugia.


The Legend of Shadow Lugia

Part One: The beginning of it all...
(Chapters 1-4)

Spoiler:

Chapter one


Hiro put on his goggles and looked at his calendar again. It was the 3rd of March, and he was going to become a very important job from Professor Krane. He went to the top of the stairs and shouted, “I am going out mom!” “Don’t forget to come back in time for lunch!” she shouted back. He went to his window and released his ralts from it’s pokeball. “Lets go ralts,” he whispered to it, and said, “Teleport!” “Ralts!” it replied, and everything went white.
Hiro found himself in front of the Professor’s lab. He went confidently to the door and knocked, saying, “Hello, Prof. Krane? Anybody home?” He opened the door, and the sight that greeted him was not very pretty.
Prof. Krane and his assistants were all tied up in one corner. In the other, a wild bulbasaur was raging, shooting razor leafs everywhere, throwing over test tubes with vine whip, and jumping around. Then, it suddenly noticed Hiro. It sprang up, and got ready for battle.
“Lets go ralts,” Hiro whispered to his ralts. “Ralts,” it replied, and started to hover. “Saur!” the bulbasaur screamed, and shot razor leaf straight at him. “Ralts, confusion, and then hypnosis!” “Raaltss,” the Ralts said, and the razor leaf was engulfed in psychic light. The leaves all sprang away, but when ralts was about to use hypnosis, the Bulbasaur caught it with vine whip! “Quick ralts, teleport!” “Raallts!” The ralts said, and disappeared. “Bulbasaur?” the bulbasaur said, surprised. “Now Ralts, confusion!” “Ralts!” it said again, and appeared behind the bulbasaur. Before the bulbasaur could move, the confusion hit him, and the bulbasaur was knocked KO.
“Thank you Hiro,” Prof. Krane said while he untied them. “that was an impressive performance!” “Aww, that was nothing, me and ralts train everyday!” Prof. Krane stood up and rubbed his wrists. “You were still quite impressive,” he said. He took out a pokeball and said, “Bulbasaur, return!” The red light shot from the pokeball and the bulbasaur disappeared. “What, but, I , but, hey, you did this on purpose!” “I did,” Prof. Krane said. “I wanted to know if you were up to the job that I wanted you to do.” “Well, am I?” Hiro asked, hoping for a yes. “Well, no.” “What? But, I-“ “Kidding, you did marvelous! Come on, here is something I want to give you.” He went through the wreckage of his lab and opened a door. “Come on, we don’t have all day.” Hiro followed him, and found Prof. Krane holding out a pokedex to him! “Well, what I want you to do is not the typical thing I ask everyone. Pokemon Trainer Ash fulfilled the Pokedex long ago already. No, what I want you to do is to find Shadow Lugia, the poor soul of Lugia that is captured.”
“WHAT??” Hiro asked, unbelieving. “I thought… I thought that Shadow Lugia did not exist!”
“That’s what everyone thinks. Haven’t you ever seen a pokemon ever now and then that is a bit more… powerful? Unique? Think about my bulbasaur. It was much more powerful than a normal bulubasaur, right?”
“Well, yes…”
“See? Now, take a guess. What might bulbasaur then be?”
“A… shadow pokemon?”
“Ding-dong! Yes! So, there is another thing I wanted to ask you. Would you like to evolve your Ralts to a Gallade, or a Guardevoir?”
“Well, it is a boy… I guess Gallade, why?”
“To do this, you will need this.” With that, Prof. Krane pulled out something from his pocket. It was a turquoise stone, that was kind of glowing. “This is a dawn stone. When your Ralts has evolved into Kirlia, you can give it this and it will evolve into Gallade. But think through it carefully. Once done, it cannot be reversed. Gallade is a physical attacker; its blades are used for physical attacks. Gaurdevoir is a more special pokemon. It focuses in psychic moves such as confusion and dream eater.” With that, he handed him the stone, and it seemed to him that it started to glow slightly brighter. “Keep it well; it is very rare.”
“I will,” he replied, and put it in his pocket.
“Now, will you accept? Remember, Cipher was once again destroyed a few years ago by someone whose birthplace was here, Agate village. Cipher had then corrupted Lugia and made it a shadow pokemon. Since then, problems have been occurring… water pokemon are going beserk. The tide is going haywire. Storms in the sea are getting stronger and stronger. We need to find shadow Lugia and purify it. I have created this handy machine that is quite small. One problem; we have to catch Shadow Lugia. Now, all you will have to do is bring me to him. That’s it.”
“I…” Hiro was stumped. It seemed to him to be a nice cruise around the world, with his Ralts, to find the mysterious Shadow Lugia, and then tell him where it is. That is it? “Ralts… what about you? What do you think?”
“Ra-alts,” it nodded. He seemed to understand the urgency. “Well, then, ok Prof.,” he said, grinning.
“Wonderfull! Wonderful! Here, here’s a pokenav. With this you can call me when you have problems. Here is your backpack, and your ticket for the S.S. Anne. It will bring you to Citadark Isle first, and if it isn’t there, you can start exploring Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, the orange Islands, the Svii Islands, Sinnoh, Fiore, Almia, and if not anywhere, you can come back and check out Orre. I will talk to your mom. As you see, we have arranged everything!”
“Oh, wow, thanks!” Hiro replied, taking the pokenav, his backpack, and the ticket. “So, now I just… teleport to Gateon?”
“Yup,” Prof. Krane replied.
“Well, you heard him, Ralts,” Hiro whispered, bending down. “Off to Gateon port!”



Chapter two


Hiro reappeared right in front of the ferry. “Hullo young man,” the clerk at the entrance replied.
“Do you have a ticket?”
“Yes,” Hiro replied, taking out his ticket for the S.S. Anne. “Well, then, go in!” the clerk said, handing him the ticket again.
Inside, he found himself in a corridor. The door to the ferry was right behind him, and there were doors lining the walls all the way to the end. “You’re room, sir, is Room no. 201.” “Thanks,” Hiro replied, and walked down the corridor, counting the room number. “…197, 198, 199, 200, 201!” He opened the door and got into his room. It had a double- mattress bed, a nice porthole with the view outside, a table, and a door to the bathroom. “Well, Ralts,” he said, releasing it from it’s pokeball, “This is our boring room. Wanna go explore?”
“Ralts!” it nodded, looking at the room with distaste. They both exited out the door, and had just turned the corner of the hallway, when a man with a blue baseball cap, blue T-shirt and jeans on came bumped into him. “Look where you’re going, kid,” he muttered. “Ralts!” Ralts said indignantly, while the man hurried on. Hiro just saw his waist with a weird pokeball, it was, contrary to what you might have thought, black. Walking on, he found a few stairs. “Wanna go in Ralts?”
“Ralts? Ra-Ralts!” it said. “Ok,” he replied, and just as he was going to walk down, another person bumped into him. “Hey, this is going to be th- oh.”
Standing in front of him was his little sister, Julia. She was 12, had fiery red hair, red eyes (I have never believed my mother that she is my sister), and fair skin. She had a grey shirt on, and a pair of jeans. On her belt were 6 pokeballs. “Julia? What, but, you, what are you doing here?” She looked at him questioningly.
“What are you doing here?”
I have a m- wait, what am I doing? Julia, go home now.” That was when he realized her hair was moving! “Uhhh, Julia, please, take a bath. Looks like you haven’t for a very long time.” She looked where he was looking, and said, “Oh! That is just vulpix, my pokemon! I know… lets have a battle! You against me! If I win, I stay. If you win, I go home.”
“Well…” It was tempting. Tempting because he could beat her up bad and then send her home all embarrassed. “Ok. But where?”
“Oh, just on deck. That is the perfect place!” And with that, she turned, and ran up the stairs. Hiro followed her uncertaintly, although believing a swift win, and Ralts teleported onto his shoulder, where it stayed.

Chapter 3

Hiro was on deck, opposite Julia, on the battle ground the ship had for anyone who wanted to battle. They had both decided to use their starter pokemon, namely Ralts and Vulpix. Now that the time to battle came, he was kind of nervous. “Go Ralts,” he whispered.
“Ralts,” he replied, and took his place on Hiro’s side.
Julia also whispered something to seemingly nothing, but then her Vulpix jumped out of her hair. “Ok,” the referee said, “Julia from Agate village, against Hiro from Agate village. Start the battle!”
Julia wasted no time. Instantly she shouted, “Go Vulpix! Will-O-Wisp!” “Vulpix!” it shouted, and 6 balls of blue fire raised out of her tails. Before Hiro could do anything, his Ralts was engulfed, and started burning!
“Rats,” Hiro muttered. “Quick Ralts, refresh!” “Raaalts,” it said, and was engulfed in a blue healing light. Hiro saw Julia looking surprised, and grinned. Almost no one knew his Ralts knew refresh. ‘Quick Ralts, while she is still taken aback, teleport in front of Vulpix, and then hypnosis!” “Ra-alts!” it said, and disappeared in a flash of white.
“What?” Julia said, taken aback. “What did you do, call it back? You know that you effectively gave up, then…”
“Not so fast,” Hiro said calmly. “Now Ralts! Hypnosis!” “Raaalts…” it said, and suddenly it was infront of Vulpix. It’s eyes glowed, and Vulpix’s eyes effectively closed.
“No, Vulpix!” Julia cried, aghast.
“Nows the time Ralts! Finish him with confusion!” “Ralts!” it replied, and hit it with a powerful psychic wave. “Vulpix….” The vulpix moaned, unable to get up. “I win,” Hiro grinned, looking at the referee.
“I declare Hiro, fr-,”
“What?” Hiro asked.
“Well, Vulpix is not K.O.”
“What?” Hiro asked, looking at the Vulpix. It was standing up slowly, and was looking pretty determined.
“You didn’t think that my Vulpix would give up that easily, did you?” Julia said, looking a little angry. “Now, watch my Vulpix’s secret move! Vulpix, FLAMETHROWER!” “Vuuulllpiiiiiiiix!” the Vulpix screamed, and a huge inferno erupted from its mouth, engulfing Ralts.
“RALTS! NOOOO!” Hiro screamed, while the inferno finished. His Ralts was lying on the ground, K.O.ed. “No… Ralts…”
“Now, I declare the battle as over! Julia from Agate village is declared the winner!”
“Yes!” she yelled, punching the air. “Vu, vu, vulpix!” the vulpix said, probably happier than her.
“You should probably get that pokemon to the pokemon center on board,” the referee said as he got up to leave, “there is one on the ground floor.”
“Thank you,” Hiro whispered, as he picked up his Ralts. “How do I get there?”
“Just go down the stairs, and find the door with the P.C. above it,” he said. “Thank you,” Hiro said, and picked up his ralts and ran to the pokemon center.

Chapter four

Hiro was running down the stairs, tears in his eyes. Ralts… how could he have let it so far? Getting to the door with P.C above it, he burst in, and got into a lonely pokemon center. There, he saw the man in blue (again?) talking in a raised voice to her. “… and if you don’t, you shall rue it, don’t worry… N-Atakara shall dismiss you from duty, and, eliminate you.” With that, he walked out the door, not noticing Hiro. What was that? Pushing it to the back of his mind, he rushed to Nurse Joy and said, “Nurse Joy, please help me! I don’t know what to do, my Ralts was caught in an unexpected flamethrower, please,….”
“No problem! Please, hand me the pokeball.” Pokeball? Oh-oh…
“Well, I don’t have it, Ralts never goes anywhere in a pokeball…”
“Well then, hand me the pokemon!” Hiro tenderly gave over his Ralts as she told a Chansey to prepare an O.R.(Operations Room). She placed it gently on a stretcher, when suddenly the ship rocked.
“What’s happening?” Hiro asked, holding on the the counter.
“I don’t know,” nurse Joy said, “here, this can help him for now.” She handed over a spray to him. Hiro lightly sprayed Ralts with it, and it winced a little. “Now, we have to check what happened to determine if the O.R. can be used.” With that, she got out of the counter, and started hurriedly walking to the deck. Hiro followed her.
On deck, it was a scene of catastrophe. The before clear sky was now fully overcast with dark clouds and lightning. Huge waves were breaking against the ship, spraying Hiro with salt water. “What’s wrong?” He asked Nurse Joy. “It looks like a freak storm has arrived,” she said grimly. “The waves are going higher and higher.” Suddenly, he saw a huge water spout erupt some distance away. “Oh no,” nurse Joy exclaimed, “that’s a Wailord! If that comes to close, it can ram the ship and cleave it in two!” Rats, Hiro thought, just as Ralts needs some treatment! He sprayed a little of the medicine again, and again Ralts winced. Just then, a swarm of Lumineon, a rare kind of pokemon rarely seen on the surface, passed by. As they passed, he saw a huge shadow of the Wailord quite near them. Ralts cant get to the sea water he thought, and started running to his room.
In his room, he picked up his waterproof bag, and returned Ralts to it’s pokeball. Then, he went back up and found his sister, Julia.
“Julia!” he shouted, barely heard.
“What?” she shouted back.
“Return Vulpix to it’s pokeball! Fire pokemon are very hardly hit by water, and this is seawater, the worst kind!” Julia looked kind of sad, but she did return her Vulpix to it’s pokeball. Just then, they heard the sound of cracking, and they looked straight behind them. The ship was breaking in half, and the crack was coming at them like a fissure. Hiro looked at Julia, and their eyes met. They joined hands, and together, they fell into the fissure of the ship; into the mercy of the sea.


PART TWO: Stranded
Spoiler:
Chapter 5
Spoiler:
Chapter five
Hiro woke up with his head throbbing. He was on a sandy beach, covered with shale, and was deserted. There was no one around.
“Where am I?” he mumbled to himself, looking at himself. His skin was sore at the places his clothes had rubbed into him and the salt made the clothes stiff. “Oh, yeah…” Hiro said, remembering the confusion. People running had been everywhere. The horrible screams. It had been horrible, and suddenly he remembered his sister. Looking around hoping to see the flame of her hair, he was disappointed. He was utterly deserted.
Suddenly, he felt a hard object digging into his thigh. Looking down, he saw the top of a spray cap sticking out. Suddenly he remembered the fight, and the bad injuries of Ralts. Taking out his pokeball, he released Ralts. It seemed that the spray had helped him, and it was standing. “Ralts…” it said, still injured. “Hold still Ralts,” Hiro said, “this will help.” He sprayed a little of the medicine, and the Ralts let out a small, strangled noise. “I know it hurts now,” he said, “but it will help. Now, we have to find out where we are.” He looked around. Not far away from the beach, he saw that it stretched on all the way till the horizon. A little into the land there were trees, and it seemed there was two huge mountains in the distance, on almost half the size of the other, nevertheless snow capped. Swarms of pokémon in the deep blue sky could be seen flying somewhere unknown. The sea was a rich blue, and stretched far into the horizon. A little distance away, a hill could be seen. “Come on Ralts, get on my shoulder,” Hiro said, “we should go to that hill. Maybe we can see more.”He got Ralts on his shoulder, shouldered his backpack, that had miraculously stayed on, and started walking.
After an hour or so, they were still in the forest. Hiro had thought that the hill was no more that 2 miles away, but now it seemed that he had walked five miles. Along the way he had seen spinarak, oddish, exeggutor, and other various pokémon. Suddenly, there was a rustle to his right. As Hiro stood stock still, worried it might be a Mightyena, but suddenly saw a Celebi float in. He stared at it. It was a wonder; Celebi was a legendary pokémon and the guardian of time, and it was rumored to even exist. And here it was infront of him.
“Celebi?” it said, looking at him, and floated away. Hiro stayed there, stock still for another minute. Even Ralts knew the importance, and was still looking amazed. Then, he started walking again, this time looking around for another glimpse of the Celebi. After another gross mile, they reached the hill. As he got to the top, he realized how huge the land was.
Around him was a vast continent, that stretched out till the horizon. The land around him was mostly full of the forest, and far away, he could see the plains. The sea to his back stretched for miles, and the two mountains he had seen were like two great towers, sentinels guarding the continent. As far as he could see, there was no civilization, and pokémon everywhere. Looking up, he saw a swarm of spearow just pass as the went, and, to his great surprise, a seeming flaring star. As he peered at it, he saw it was a bird, and then realized that it was a moltres! He was amazed. What kind of a land was this?


Chapter six
Spoiler:
Prof. Krane was again in his lab, giving trainers their first pokémon. It has been two days sinceHiro had set out, and now he decided to call him before getting to his finaltest for the day.
“Riinnnngggg,” the pokenav went.
Riinnngggg, riinnngggg,……………. there is such number as you have specified, or no signal to the recipent.
“What?” Prof. Krane asked himself, as it said this. As far as he knew, even if Hiro might be at high sea, there should be a signal. Receivers are attached to all kinds of sea pokémon. There is no way he could not be reached. Deciding that it was an abnormal, nonrecurring occurrence, he walked back to a private room. Inside, he was surrounded by tables full of paper, and a small container in the corner. Walking to it, he pressed a few buttons on it, and it opened with a hiss. Inside, he took out a dawn stone that looked exactly the same like Hiro’s. Going back to his desk, he clicked on a button and spoke into an intercom:
“Let’s go guys. Enough for today. You can go home.” He heard the mumbles of surprise at being dismissed this early, but no one complained. He waited a few minutes, and after making sure everyone left, went back to the main part of the lab. There, he found three people waiting.
“Password?” he asked.
“Do we need one? Needless to say, we are from N-atakara. Enough?”
Prof. Krane smirked. He had been waiting for his employees for a few weeks. “Hiro has gone. As soon as he reports, we can go. You have the converter?” “Yessir,” one replied, and took out a small box. “Ah,” he said in content, “how wonderfully exquisite. Now, are you sure no one followed you?”
“Yes,” was the exasperated reply.
“Good. Any news from our two employees on board?”
“No sir.”
“Well, I hope the nurse won’t desert us,” he said, “anyways, have you tested the splinter of the stone I gave you?”
“Yes,” one of the three said, a young woman in her twenties, “and it seems that it reacts strongly to shadow pokémon.”
“Very good,” he said, “and is it positive… for us? What does it do?”
“It seems to bring any pokémon to its most high evolution. For example, if it is given a pidgey, then it evolved into a Pidgeot. It is a most remarkable discovery. Also, the stone stays preserved. But, when brought in contact to a shadow pokémon, it turns blue, and when given to a pokémon, it has the same effects, and, it becomes a shadow pokémon.”
“Remarkable,” Prof. Krane said, “it seems that we can produce highly powerful pokémon at will.”
“But, there was another, yet more stunning discovery.”
“What is it?” he asked, his interest resparked.
“When given to a pokémon that is already in its highest form, it evolves again.” At this, Prof. Krane simply stared. “What?”
“When it was given to a Persian for safekeeping, it evolved instantly. I somehow became a more humanoid cat, that could walk on two paws. It still had many cat-like qualities, but it had many new attacks it could not previously learn, like blast burn.”
“Blast burn? This is indeed remarkable,” Prof. Krane said, amazed. “And when we find shadow lugia, we can use its remarkable shadow prowess to turn other legends to shadow pokémon. Cipher might have failed; but we, N-Atakara will strike!” He turned back to his employees. “You may leave me now.” They bowed respectively, and turned and left. Later, no one would be able to recall anyone to have left in that outfit.
Prof. Krane turned and went back to his room. “Go, bublbasaur,” he said, and his shadow pokémon came out. He took out the crystal and gave it to the bulbasaur. Then he waited for the reaction. Nothing happened. Looking at the stone closely, he realized that it was the stone he had intended Hiro to have. Which meant… quickly, he whipped out his pokenav and spoke harshly. “Contact our undercover agent. Tell her that her target on the S.S. Anne will have the unidentified object. Tell her to retrieve it and bring it back, regardless of circumstance.” “Roger,” an unidentified voice said. As he flipped back his pokenav and returned his bulbasaur to its pokeball, he thought a little about what had conspired. This was going bad; Hiro might find out his aims, and then he will have to disappear.


Chapter seven
Spoiler:
Hiro was once again walking in the forest. Now, Ralts was better and was hovering along with him, and was keeping vigil for any unseen pokémon. Loads of times he saw a caterpie, spinarak, rattata, and even the occasional oddish. After a while of walking, he saw a clearing, and started hearing rushing water. “Ralts…” “Ralts,” it nodded, seemingly hearing it too. As he walked on, he saw a sparkling, clear, stream, rushing along the banks. But, he could see loads of pokémon in it… would they bite? “Don´t bother trying to ford it,” A voice said behind him, and he spun around, startled.
Standing in front of him was a girl about his age with dark blue hair, a red track suit of some kind, and a kind face. She seemed to be friendly; yet, Hiro hadn´t met anyone for some time now, and he was naturally suspicious. “Who are you?” He asked, a slight tremor in his voice. She seemed to be a little more confident than one might think.
“My name is Lyra. I was aboard the S.S. Anne when it sank. And, there is no need to be so suspicious. I am Lance’s daughter.”
“Oh…” Hiro said, looking at her suspiciously. “Well, how do you think I should cross it then?”
“Well, a water pokémon, or if you don’t have one….” She said, looking at his Ralts. Hiro just looked at her dumbly. “Well, teleport!” she said exasperated.
“Oh, yeah, ok…” he said, and turned to his Ralts. “Ralts, teleport!” “Ra-alts!” it replied happily, and then all was white. Next thing he knew, he was at the other side. Looking back at the side he was on, he saw Lyra taking out a pokeball.
“I can prove I am Lance’s daughter,” she said, obviously having seen his sceptism. “watch. Go, Gyarados!”
She threw her pokeball, and in a flash of red light, in front of him was a mighty Gyarados. But it wasn’t any Gyarados. It was Lance’s red Gyarados! “Daddy gave it to me for my fifteenth birthday.” She got on its back, and it carried her to his side dutifully. “Thank you Gyarados,” she said, getting off. “Return!” And, in another flash of light, it was gone.
Hiro was just staring. He had just seen the legendary red gyarados! “No need to be so awestruck,” she said, smirking at his expression, “I’ll show it to you any time again!”
Hiro just looked at her. Then, he just turned around and started walking again. “Hey, wait!” she said, jogging after him. “What’s wrong?”
“I have a little sister here,” he said, “and I am trying to find her.”
“Really ?” she said, looking genuinely intrigued. “And she is younger than you? What’s a baby doing on the island?”
“Ha ha, very funny,” Hiro said, and walked on.
“Ok, ok, sorry… mind if I tag along?”
“Sure, just don’t be a nuisance.”
“Hey… that’s how you speak to Lance’s daughter?”
“Yup.” Hiro said, and walked on. Lyra said nothing and just walked on. Suddenly, she gave a start. “Look!” she said pointing to the sky. “What?” Hiro asked, peering where she just pointed. “Smoke!” Hiro squinted into the bright sky, and sure enough, he saw smoke. “Julia,” he whispered under his breath, and started running. “Where are you going?” Lyra asked, running after him.
“The smoke!”


Chapter 8
Spoiler:


Hiro was still running. He now been running about five minutes in a non-stop sprint, his concern for Julia driving him, but now he was starting to tire. Lyra had fallen behind a long time ago. Seeing a clearing a short distance away, he sprinted the last few meters and stumbled into it.
What he saw was confusing. Several pokémon were there, looking angry, and many people were there, shouting attacks and commands to them. Some of them he recognized from his brief stay on the S.S. Anne. They were all attacking a very angry looking Infernape, its flames blazing high. A few trees were burning, and water pokémon and their trainers were frantically trying to douse them with water guns. He couldn’t see Julia nor her vulpix in the confusion, but as he could see there were bigger problems. The Infernape’s blaze effect was getting in motion, and as he could see, this was getting out of control. He knew he had to help.
“Ralts,” he whispered to his Ralts. “Ralts?” it asked. “Quick, we need to help. Teleport near it and use confusion.” “Ralts,” it nodded, and disappeared. Seconds later, he saw the Infernape fly in the air. Ralts was there. Many people looked around in confusion, but they didn’t have enough time. Because, the Infernape seemed much more angrier now. Its flames were burning higher, and nearby trees were catching fire because of the extreme heat. Water pokémon were getting frantic, because they couldn’t reach the trees in time. The fire was spreading. Suddenly, the Infernape started spewing flames from its mouth. A dozen pokémon were hit and were 1-hit-KOed. Ralts fortunately dodged it. Suddenly, a trainer from somewhere in the crowd shouted, “All you water pokémon! Douse Infernape!” Suddenly, the Infernape was being hit from about every side by water guns, hydropumps, and a few bubbles. Instantly, it let out it’s last resort: over heat. Every single pokémon there just fainted. Suddenly, they were all facing the extreme heat without the help of their pokémon. People started panicking. “Salamence, dragon breath!” A voice shouted from the direction of the woods. Suddenly, a great figure rose from the forest. It flew to the Infernape and let out a great blast of green fire that engulfed it. In a few seconds, it stopped and they saw the Infernape lying defeated on the ground. The great figure landed and revealed itself to be a Salamence. Hiro looked out into the woods and saw Lyra coming, jogging.
“Return,” she said, and it disappeared in a flash of red light. Many people were looking at her awestruck. Ignoring them, she just sat down and started eating a sandwich. Hiro just looked at her, and walked to the middle of the clearing. He picked up Ralts, sprayed a little medicine, and returned it to it’s pokeball. Then, he put together a few twigs and branches and got a fire going. By this time, water pokémon had doused the flames. As he walked to the crowd, he could hear a person speaking, “-and we should just stay here and make a camp. Obviously we have gotten to a new continent that hasn’t been found yet. And, as it is undiscovered, we should name it. Any ideas?”
“Zion,” Hiro muttered.
“What’s that?” the person said, looking at him. The people around looked at him closely.
“Zion,” he said louder.
“Well?” the person asked the others. There were murmurs of agreement. “Good, now that’s done. Ok, what should we eat?”
“What about berries? I saw some on my way here,” Hiro suggested. The man narrowed his eyes at him. “Very well, for today berries. Lets go people, lets find some berries.” People started shuffling off to different directions, heading towards the forest. Hiro also walked to the forest, and found himself with Lyra.
“Thanks,” he muttered.
“For what?” she asked, surprised.
“Well for saving us.” He said. He bent down to a bush and started picking up some oran berries. Lyra helped him.
“That was nothing,” she said, picking up some Qualot berries from another bush.
“Yeah, bu-,” he started, but stopped.
“What?” Lyra asked, looking where he was looking. “Oh,” she whispered, her eyes wide.
In front of them was the nurse from the ship.
But she was dead.



Chapter nine
Spoiler:
Chapter nine

There was a great tumult when the news reached the others. There was only a medical student in their crowd that was at least proficient at a few basic injuries, and so it was a problem to hear that the nurse from the ship was dead. Also, that meant that there was a murderer among them. There was a meeting called for the evening, so they could do what they wanted. As Hiro thought of this, he remembered the blue suited guy on board of the S.S. Anne. What had he said? Comply or die, or something like that. Now that he thought of it, he realized that whoever killed him might have the black pokeballs. Or, maybe that was not true and he didn’t kill her. That would be false accusation. Oh, what confusion!
Around that time he had decided to go for a walk and try to find Julia before the meeting. Walking through the forest, he again saw Spinarak and Caterpie, but this time no Celebi. Suddenly, he heard a low wail to his right. Creeping towards it unseen, he realized he was hearing his sister’s voice. It was Vulpix moaning.
“Shh Vulpix, do you want some bad pokémon to find us?”
“Vuvuvulpix,” it moaned unhappily. Hiro could now see through a gap in the hedge around her (and possibly covering the forest floor) that Vulpix had a bad injury on her leg. It seemed Julia had to fight some pokémon sooner than him.
“Julia,” he whispered. She suddenly stopped everything and sat stock still. Then, she saw Hiro slowely getting up and relaxed.
“Hiro!” she gasped, surprised.
“What happened?” Hiro asked, motioning towards Vulpix.
“We found that some pokémon here aren’t so friendly,” she said unhappily.
“Well, there are a bunch of other people in a clearing not far from here. A medic student could help it.”
“Ok,” she replied, and got up and put Vulpix in her hair. They walked together back to the clearing, and Hiro motioned her to the medic student. She walked over to him, and Hiro went to the growing crowd in the middle. Obviously they had put some work into the fire he had started, since now it was a bonfire. Behind it, there was a kind of makeshift podium made of stones. He saw Lyra in front, but stayed where he was and listened to the person who had called himself leader of the group. “… and now that we know people are dead, we know there is a murdered among us. What do we do?”
“Set up watches!”
“Look for clues!”
“Hope for the best?”
Hiro let out a sigh. This was getting nowhere. He released his Ralts from its pokeball, and bent down to it.
“How are you feeling Ralts?”
“Ra-Ralts,” it said, seemingly happily.
“Ok, could you teleport me to that pile of stones over there?” he asked, motioning to the podium.
“Ralts,” it nodded confidently. He stood up, and suddenly, he was on the podium.
“-and, hey, what are you doing?” the head guy asked, looking at him surprised. Ignoring him, he started speaking.
“You people think that we’ll be rescued?”
“Yes!” they shouted.
“So you think that if we stick around here that someone will rescue us?”
“Yes,” the guy next to him said.
“Well, guess what, they won’t. This is a totally new continent. They would never even think of here. They don’t even know this place exists! So what do we do?” A lot of people shifted around uncomfortably. “Stay here,” the man next to him said decisively.
“Haven’t you been listening? There is no point!”
“Who cares? Better than dying because of wild pokémon!” There were murmurs of agreement. Hiro started to get angry. What was wrong with these people?
“Ralts,” he muttered.
“Ralts?” it replied.
“Teleport; to the edge over there.”
“Ralts!” it replied, and suddenly he was there.
“Fine,” he shouted to the crowd. “I’ll go on alone. And when I get to the mountain,” he said, pointing to the huge sentinel in the middle of the continent, “I will not mention anything about you people. Stay ignorant! I bet I’ll get a signal there.” With that, he turned around and walked into the forest.
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  #2    
Old March 10th, 2010 (01:30 PM).
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Porygon-Z Porygon-Z is offline
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Quote originally posted by Skull Guardian:
Well, I have been fiddling around with the idea of a fan fic, my first one given up after half a page, and now I decided on Shadow Lugia.
Why Shadow Lugia? Because everyone regards it as EVIL. Ok, maybe not everybody, but most people. I am going to prove it wrong.
Please tell me if it is kind of boring at parts, and if I have to cut parts, because I am kinda new, and its hard to find one particular place to start posting and be regular.
Please dont sugarcoat any critic, but don't try to be down right cruel please.
Well, here goes!

Prologue?
Spoiler:
In the world of pokemon, legends arise. Legends fall. Regions are formed.
Currently, 7 regions have been discovered. But none have found the eighth: Zion. Lush with grass and the resting place of migrating pokemon, it has not been colonized by man. Legends have found it as a haven of peace and tranquility, where men have not defiled it. Mountains of immense size, and rivers that span all the way through the continent, grass the colour never seen before, Zion is wild. But one pokemon, that had once been pure, and the protecter of water, who can call forth typhoons in anger, that had been defiled, is now here, hiding from humans who have caused him so much pain; here resides Shadow Lugia.


The Legend of Shadow Lugia

Chapter one

Spoiler:
Hiro put on his goggles and looked at his calendar again. It was
the 3rd of March, and he was going to become a very important
job from Professor Krane. He went to the top of the stairs and
shouted, “I am going out mom!” “Don’t forget to come back
in time for lunch!” she shouted back. He went to his window and
released his ralts from it’s pokeball. “Lets go ralts,” he whispered to
it, and said, “Teleport!” “Ralts!” it replied, and
everything went white.
Hiro found himself in front of the Professor’s lab. He went
confidently to the door and knocked, saying, “Hello, Prof.
Krane? Anybody home?” He opened the door, and the sight
that greeted him was not very pretty.
Prof. Krane and his assistants were all tied up in one corner. In
the other, a wild bulbasaur was raging, shooting razor leafs everywhere,
throwing over test tubes with vine whip, and jumping around. Then, it suddenly noticed Hiro. It sprang up, and got ready for battle.
“Lets go ralts,” Hiro whispered to his ralts. “Ralts,” it replied, and started to hover. “Saur!” the bulbasaur screamed, and shot razor leaf
straight at him. “Ralts, confusion, and then hypnosis!” “Raaltss,” the Ralts said, and the razor leaf was engulfed in psychic light.
The leaves all sprang away, but when ralts was about to use hypnosis, the
Bulbasaur caught it with vine whip! “Quick ralts, teleport!” “Raallts!”
The ralts said, and disappeared. “Bulbasaur?” the bulbasaur said,
surprised. “Now Ralts, confusion!” “Ralts!” it said again, and
appeared behind the bulbasaur. Before the bulbasaur could move,
the confusion hit him, and the bulbasaur was knocked KO.
“Thank you Hiro,” Prof. Krane said while he untied them.
“that was an impressive performance!” “Aww, that was nothing,
me and ralts train everyday!” Prof. Krane stood up and
rubbed his wrists. “You were still quite impressive,” he said.
He took out a pokeball and said, “Bulbasaur, return!”
red light shot from the pokeball and the bulbasaur disappeared.
“What, but, I , but, hey, you did this on purpose!” “I did,”
Prof. Krane said. “I wanted to know if you were up to the job
that I wanted you to do.” “Well, am I?” Hiro asked, hoping for a
yes. “Well, no.” “What? But, I-“ “Kidding, you did marvelous!
Come on, here is something I want to give you.” He went
through the wreckage of his lab and opened a door.
“Come on, we don’t have all day.” Hiro followed him,
and found Prof. Krane holding out a pokedex to him! “Well,
what I want you to do is not the typical thing I ask everyone. Pokemon Trainer Ash fulfilled the Pokedex long ago already. No,
what I want you to do is to find Shadow Lugia, the poor soul of Lugia that is captured.”
“WHAT??” Hiro asked, unbelieving. “I thought…
I thought that Shadow Lugia did not exist!” “That’s what everyone thinks. Haven’t you ever seen a pokemon ever now and
then that is a bit more… powerful? Unique? Think about my bulbasaur. It was much more powerful than a normal bulubasaur,
right?” “Well, yes…” “See? Now, take a guess. What
might bulbasaur then be?” “A… shadow pokemon?” “Ding-dong!
Yes! So, there is another thing I wanted to ask you. Would you like to evolve your Ralts to a Gallade, or a Guardevoir?” “Well, it is a
boy… I guess Gallade, why?” “To do this, you will need
this.” With that, Prof. Krane pulled out something from
his pocket. It was a turquoise stone, that was kind of glowing. “This is a dawn stone. When your Ralts has evolved into Kirlia, you can
give it this and it will evolve into Gallade. But think through it carefully. Once done, it cannot be reversed. Gallade is a physical attacker;
its blades are used for physical attacks. Gaurdevoir is a more special pokemon. It focuses in psychic moves such as confusion and dream eater.” With that, he handed him the stone, and it seemed to him that it started to glow slightly brighter. “Keep it well; it is very rare.”
“I will,” he replied, and put it in his pocket. “Now, will you accept? Remember, Cipher was once again destroyed a few years ago by
someone whose birthplace was here, Agate village. Cipher had then corrupted Lugia and made it a shadow pokemon. Since then, problems have been occurring… water pokemon are going beserk.
The tide is going haywire. Storms in the sea are
getting stronger and stronger. We need to find shadow Lugia and purify it. I have created this handy machine that is quite small.
One problem; we have to catch Shadow Lugia. Now, all you will have to do is bring me to him. That’s it.” “I…” Hiro was stumped.
It seemed to him to be a nice cruise around the world, with his Ralts, to find the mysterious Shadow Lugia, and then tell him where it is.
That is it? “Ralts… what about you? What do you think?” “Ra-alts,” it nodded. He seemed to understand the urgency. “Well, then, ok Prof.,” he said, grinning.
“Wonderfull! Wonderful! Here, here’s a pokenav. With this you can call me when you have problems. Here is your backpack, and your ticket for the S.S. Anne. It will bring you to Citadark Isle first, and if it
isn’t there, you can start exploring Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, the orange Islands, the Svii Islands, Sinnoh, Fiore, Almia, and if not anywhere, you can come back and check out Orre. I will talk to your mom. As you see, we
have arranged everything!” “Oh, wow, thanks!” Hiro replied, taking the pokenav, his backpack, and the ticket. “So, now I just…
teleport to Gateon?” “Yup,” Prof. Krane replied. “Well, you heard him, Ralts,” Hiro whispered, bending down. “Off to Gateon port!”
I think before you can work on anything else you have to sort out you formatting and paragraphs.

Everything is all squished together which makes it really hard to read.

I suggest that you take some time to read some other fan fics to see how other people have done it and get a better idea of the writing style.

This is especially important on separating speech. When a new speaker begins to speak, you need to begin a new paragraph.

Hope that helps!
  #3    
Old March 11th, 2010 (08:14 AM).
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Skull Guardian Skull Guardian is offline
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Sorry that it was so hard to read. I wrote it all in word, and copy pasted it, so it was all jumbled up. Now, I pasted a word file so that you can read it properly. Also, page two is also there!
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  #4    
Old March 13th, 2010 (05:56 AM).
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Skull Guardian Skull Guardian is offline
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ok, Chapter two is now up. check the word file.
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  #5    
Old March 13th, 2010 (01:15 PM).
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Astinus Astinus is offline
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Could you please just copy/paste your chapters onto the forums like you did in your first post? It's not only difficult to read your chapters (since that means that someone has to download your chapters and hopefully have a program to open it without the coding changing) but to also get some people to review. Some people like reviewing just on the forums, and having them have to use another program even just to read your chapters makes them more reluctant to give you feedback.

So just do what everyone else does and copy/paste onto the forum.
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Old March 14th, 2010 (10:18 AM).
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Like 0xDeadCafe, Im digging this story, but I really wish youd seperate the paragraphs. Huge unbroken blocks of text get hard on the eyes after awhile.

Anyways, good job, looking forward.
  #7    
Old March 15th, 2010 (09:45 AM).
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Skull Guardian Skull Guardian is offline
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So, chapter four is up, and all four chapters combined are now part one.
Sorry about not being able to read it because of opening it in word. Now, its there in the first post as Part one, and the attachment is also still there so that anyone who thinks they want to read it in word can. Also, for your info, its in word 2007, so it might not work properly in open office.

Also, it seems that the paragraphing and all is the major problem. Anything else I can improve? Hope for feedback!

Hope this update helped new readers to be able to read my fic!
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  #8    
Old March 20th, 2010 (12:02 PM).
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Ok, I have written another chapter, and it is basically a description of Zion, the new region. It also says what happened after Hiro got stranded. Features two legends. This is not a key chapter, but it still was needed for you to understand the geographical feel.
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  #9    
Old March 21st, 2010 (12:06 PM).
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Chapter six now up. Please, anyone reading, tell me what you think! Its hard to write without knowing if anyone likes your story.
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  #10    
Old March 31st, 2010 (11:04 AM).
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Skull Guardian Skull Guardian is offline
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Been a long time since I updated. Well, chapter seven is now up!
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  #11    
Old April 2nd, 2010 (05:14 AM).
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Skull Guardian Skull Guardian is offline
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Ok, I am starting to get frustrated. This is now my 6th post in a row IN MY OWN THREAD. If its that boring I'll stop, but please, TELL ME!
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  #12    
Old May 17th, 2011 (03:16 AM).
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I have read your whole 9 chapters and i love them. plz make more chapters!
  #13    
Old May 17th, 2011 (04:07 AM).
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bobandbill bobandbill is offline
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That's nice, but the forum-wide rules state you can't post in threads that are over a month old since the last post (never mind a year) - only exception to that is for the author if they want to post a new chapter - and it's likely that the user has stopped updating this given the length of time too. Note also to check threads of individual sections before posting - the Fan Fiction and Writing rules state that all reviews must be constructiv - so in future when commenting on someone's fic go into some more detail, such as what you liked and why, what could be better in your opinion and so forth.

Hence thread closed.
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