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  #1    
Old August 23rd, 2010 (03:38 AM). Edited October 22nd, 2010 by mustafa505.
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Intro:
Spoiler:
since i was just bored and had no idea for a hack i started on on making a addition on north of kanto by the mountains theres a Region Called Zeria (which was Present till 2005) after that it Disappeared the region was believed to be gone no people know about it in the present. start your journey in the old 2001 and become the champion to change the fate of the future!





Big change!:

well i am changing story so the new story is:
Heroes/Heroens Story:

Chap 1`
Spoiler:
(1st of all your not red) You live on an old region of "Zeria" in 1990 you were born, in year 1989) after 10 years you became a trainer like no one else, since your alone and your parents get kidnapped you get on your dads projects and try to finish it! and successfully it becomes to be a Pokdex! , you have something what your parents gave you in past its an egg which hatches into! after getting it hatched your uncle gives you bagon at school Annual Day. you get ready on your journey

Region Story:
Spoiler:
The region is filled with all region ( kanto Isshu Hoen Johto and Sinnoh)pokemon but in the end of the story this region gets tugged up because of the major tsunami. you and your brother shifts to kanto and their the story of your brother begin! but that's is another story



Features & Progress :

Old
New Legendaries 50%
New Friends 20%
New Tiles

Screenies
More Comming ASAP!

Characters:


(comming soon)


Legendary Pokemon in the game:

Kanto Legendary:
Mewtwo, Mew

Johto:
Ho-oh, Lugia
Celebi
Suicune, Antei, Raikou,

Hoenn:
Rayquaza, Kyogre, Groudon.

Sinnoh:
Dragon Trios (Dialga,Giritina,Palkia) and Arcues

Ishhu:
(Special: Zoroark, Zorua,) Zekrom, Reshiram


Team :
Mustafa505 - Every thing (EXCEPT SCIRPTING
Darkerm- Title Screen / Tile Insert
Syctha- Tile Inserter
Steelix (was before known as Gengar) - Scripter
zZJoennZz - Sprite Inserter
Rocka210 - Scripter


Credits:

Alucus Of Borg ( For Red House ) (Inner Tiles and Stairs Etc.)
Wesley FG ( Elms Lab and Viridian house ) (Inner House Bed And T.V)(P.C And Mart)
Niknaks Region Maps - Kanto Map

Userbars:

Code:
[IMG]http://i25.tinypic.com/2ryouuv.jpg
[/IMG]

Code:
[IMG] http://i32.tinypic.com/9102g9.jpg  
[/IMG]

Code:
[IMG] http://i31.tinypic.com/246856g.jpg
[/IMG]

Code:
[*url=http://www.signaturebar.com/][*img]http://www.signaturebar.com/uploads/images/69979.gif[*/img][*/url] Remove *

Code:
[*img]http://www.signaturebar.com/uploads/images/70365.gif[/img*]
Video :


None Yet
you can ask for beta test

Some of the members maybe not from PC
so pls dont care about the team
Btw i need people to help with my hack if you want to help me then reply to this thread or my profile :D .[/css-div]
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  #2    
Old August 23rd, 2010 (05:20 PM).
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The screens could be fixed. Why is Dialga floating on water? And the 5th pic is just like in Viridian City. And the maps are so empty. Try adding more, like trees, flowers, a path, ect.
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  #3    
Old August 23rd, 2010 (05:53 PM).
DigitalDetection DigitalDetection is offline
 
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nice hack!
i like the tiles,
is there a rom base with those?
if there s can you pleas pm me
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  #4    
Old August 23rd, 2010 (06:44 PM). Edited August 23rd, 2010 by Vrai.
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warning: tl;dr but its a good review and i spent time on it so read it anyway! >:o

Okay. Let's start this off with a compliment. The two banners you have aren't terrible, and your CSS seems effective enough though I wouldn't really try to match neon green as a border color with sky blue and black. "Information" only has two Ns in it, by the way. ;)

aaand then the thread goes a little downhill from there. First off, I have no idea what you're attempting to do with your story. Okay, Red came back to Kanto after he won things. And then what...? I mean, what's in your story that makes me want to go and play your hack? "Other people will help him"? Yeah that doesn't sound like fun to me. It's not like you can't do something with Red returning to Kanto (although that sounds like a poor excuse to not have to map much more), but you could do something more than what you have now. I mean I can envision an epic hack with him returning but something devastating happened to the land where everything changed and nothing is the way he remembers it. You could do so much more by thinking a little out of the box, and that's what I think you need to do for your story. I really struggle to see how that's going to attract anyone. :(

The features don't really interest me either. "New events 1%"... this actually sounds more like some progress thing you got going on. And I have no idea what any of these things are. "Proffesor Elm"? Yeah that's a person. If it's an event, say it's an event. But none of these things are really "features" in the sense of the word I am thinking of. (Oh, except "alot of missions" but yeah)

Okay cool sprites for characters but your descriptions are kind of random, I guess. "he doesn't know that red is back, he helps him to beat the team rocket from madness"? That doesn't make logical sense. If you cleaned that up a bit it would be better. :3

I think my biggest pet peeve in the first few screens is the fact that you used almost entirely one grass tile to map the whole map. There are four in FireRed, if you didn't know. Please mix them up a bit. Also Typing While Capitalizing Every Word In A Sentence Not Only Looks Terrible, It Is Incorrect. Please don't do that. I mean, I don't even read posts written like that any more. :/

UGH YOUR MAPS ARE ALMOST THE SAME AS THE ORIGINALS... at least as far as I can see from the screens. Yes, I realize this is kind of like a remake of Kanto on FireRed (which doesn't make too much sense imo but whatevs), but seriously, you can do more than insert a few tiles and throw them onto a map. I mean, even the same events are there. :|

Your title screen looks pretty. :3

Err, I'm making the assumption, but why is there a trainer in the first town? I realize I've been trained to think that there's only trainers in routes but in the first town? Really? That's just something I wouldn't want to do. What if they accidentally battle him without getting their 'mons? :(

That Dialga scene looks almost exactly the same as the Lapras one in FR/LG with a Dialga sprite over the Lapras one. Please change it up a bit. It's just too much recognizability (which is apparently not a word whoo!) and familiarity with the FR/LG games that deters me from liking that scene. However the last few screens look okay, minus the poor grammar on the girl scene. that's probably one of the things that hurts hacks the most, in my opinion; run everything through a spellcheck at least before you compile your scripts!

I'm really not interested in watching the videos right now but I could probably do that later.

Anyway, overall, I think if you cleaned up a few things and created a more solid story, this could be a fairly decent hack. If it stays at the stage it's at right now though, I don't see it going anywhere.
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  #5    
Old August 24th, 2010 (01:50 AM). Edited August 24th, 2010 by mustafa505.
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Quote originally posted by Vrai:
warning: tl;dr but its a good review and i spent time on it so read it anyway! >:o

Okay. Let's start this off with a compliment. The two banners you have aren't terrible, and your CSS seems effective enough though I wouldn't really try to match neon green as a border color with sky blue and black. "Information" only has two Ns in it, by the way.

aaand then the thread goes a little downhill from there. First off, I have no idea what you're attempting to do with your story. Okay, Red came back to Kanto after he won things. And then what...? I mean, what's in your story that makes me want to go and play your hack? "Other people will help him"? Yeah that doesn't sound like fun to me. It's not like you can't do something with Red returning to Kanto (although that sounds like a poor excuse to not have to map much more), but you could do something more than what you have now. I mean I can envision an epic hack with him returning but something devastating happened to the land where everything changed and nothing is the way he remembers it. You could do so much more by thinking a little out of the box, and that's what I think you need to do for your story. I really struggle to see how that's going to attract anyone.

The features don't really interest me either. "New events 1%"... this actually sounds more like some progress thing you got going on. And I have no idea what any of these things are. "Proffesor Elm"? Yeah that's a person. If it's an event, say it's an event. But none of these things are really "features" in the sense of the word I am thinking of. (Oh, except "alot of missions" but yeah)

Okay cool sprites for characters but your descriptions are kind of random, I guess. "Gold the 6th Pokedex owner comes to kanto to complete his national pokedex but he doesnt only see the kanto but also other region pokemon, on his journey he sees the dirty Team Rocket! "? That doesn't make logical sense. If you cleaned that up a bit it would be better. :3

I think my biggest pet peeve in the first few screens is the fact that you used almost entirely one grass tile to map the whole map. There are four in FireRed, if you didn't know. Please mix them up a bit. Also Typing While Capitalizing Every Word In A Sentence Not Only Looks Terrible, It Is Incorrect. Please don't do that. I mean, I don't even read posts written like that any more. :/

UGH YOUR MAPS ARE ALMOST THE SAME AS THE ORIGINALS... at least as far as I can see from the screens. Yes, I realize this is kind of like a remake of Kanto on FireRed (which doesn't make too much sense imo but whatevs), but seriously, you can do more than insert a few tiles and throw them onto a map. I mean, even the same events are there.

Your title screen looks pretty. :3

Err, I'm making the assumption, but why is there a trainer in the first town? I realize I've been trained to think that there's only trainers in routes but in the first town? Really? That's just something I wouldn't want to do. What if they accidentally battle him without getting their 'mons?

That Dialga scene looks almost exactly the same as the Lapras one in FR/LG with a Dialga sprite over the Lapras one. Please change it up a bit. It's just too much recognizability (which is apparently not a word whoo!) and familiarity with the FR/LG games that deters me from liking that scene. However the last few screens look okay, minus the poor grammar on the girl scene. that's probably one of the things that hurts hacks the most, in my opinion; run everything through a spellcheck at least before you compile your scripts!

I'm really not interested in watching the videos right now but I could probably do that later.

Anyway, overall, I think if you cleaned up a few things and created a more solid story, this could be a fairly decent hack. If it stays at the stage it's at right now though, I don't see it going anywhere.
i dont understand what you mean about the features & progress well every hack at starting have less progress, and the player gets his/her pokemon at the starting (in his house when he tires to get out his/her mother stops him/her and gives him his pokemon) its impossible to go out without the pokemon in this game so you can battle him with your pokemons no Fail and the Girl is a team rocket member who try's to act like a little girl and she always mess with him in the end you finally battle her and she
Looses! you dont need to rate a hack if you raet the progress!
and you dont care about the CSS!
Quote originally posted by DigitalDetection:
nice hack!
i like the tiles,
is there a rom base with those?
if there s can you pleas pm me
thx i will give you my hack rom after beta/alpha. (i dint used any rom base)
Quote originally posted by Destiny Demon:
The screens could be fixed. Why is Dialga floating on water? And the 5th pic is just like in Viridian City. And the maps are so empty. Try adding more, like trees, flowers, a path, ect.
well dialga is flying i still need to add animations so it should look like its flying
btw i have an update with new tiles :D :

how is it? i am gonna change the windows of the house!
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  #6    
Old August 24th, 2010 (07:08 AM).
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New tiles look cool=) Great update
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  #7    
Old August 24th, 2010 (08:48 AM).
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heylo,just want to say this before starting,Vrai was just putting his opinions on your hack here,you can decide to follow them or not and try to put your sentence carefully to tell him that what he thought is not correct is actually how you plan it want to be.
Maybe i was just paranoid but the "!" on your evry sentence is like you're not happy with his comment.

Anyway heres mine,
The storyline can be more detailed and think like a more hard reason for red to go to another adventure.So basically i want to read a much longer storyline,the storyline atm is not really detailed enough,maybe you can write more to make me understand.

For the maps,the maps are the same with fire red maps,only diffirence is the tilemis there a reason for this?maybe you can change the maps as red have been gone along time from his home so the maps can be changed abit,owh yeah,i like your tiles of choice.They look great together,cheers for it.lol

I would suggest taking out the trainer from the first town since the first town where we player ready ourself to went to the other areas..lol,maybe you can put up an event to have a battle there.Btw,do the dialga event happen at the start of the hack,i mean,like after we got our pokemon and venture abit to other town,we will see the event?I forgot how the lapras event looks like so i can't comment on it.

Just fix up the spelling.I really love your choice of tiles..hahax.

Good luck on this hack,will hoping to see the new story soon..hahax
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  #8    
Old August 24th, 2010 (10:40 AM).
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I really like your World Map. Btw your maping need some work. Good luck and hope can play beta/Alpha very soon.
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  #9    
Old August 24th, 2010 (11:10 AM).
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Quote originally posted by mustafa505:
i dont understand what you mean about the features & progress well every hack at starting have less progress, and the player gets his/her pokemon at the starting (in his house when he tires to get out his/her mother stops him/her and gives him his pokemon) its impossible to go out without the pokemon in this game so you can battle him with your pokemons no Fail and the Girl is a team rocket member who try's to act like a little girl and she always mess with him in the end you finally battle her and she
Looses! you dont need to rate a hack if you raet the progress!
and you dont care about the CSS!
I doubt he was connecting to the progress you've made thus far and nor was he rating your progress. He was commenting on your features. And I'm guessing the '1%' is the amount of progress you've done in implementing that particular feature.
Well, some people do care about the CSS.
Anyways, it's looking good. Good luck on it.
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Old August 24th, 2010 (07:22 PM).
Vrai Vrai is offline
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Quote originally posted by mustafa505:
i dont understand what you mean about the features & progress well every hack at starting have less progress, and the player gets his/her pokemon at the starting (in his house when he tires to get out his/her mother stops him/her and gives him his pokemon) its impossible to go out without the pokemon in this game so you can battle him with your pokemons no Fail and the Girl is a team rocket member who try's to act like a little girl and she always mess with him in the end you finally battle her and she
Looses! you dont need to rate a hack if you raet the progress!
and you dont care about the CSS!
No, I wasn't rating the way you put the progress, I think I just said something about how features =/= progress or something like that. At least, that's what I intended. And okay, I understand that as far as receiving their pokemon in the house, although I still don't think there should be a trainer there. ^_^

...and then I have no idea what you said after that so I shall conclude my post here.
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  #11    
Old August 25th, 2010 (01:56 AM). Edited August 28th, 2010 by mustafa505.
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Quote originally posted by Crimson Stardust:
heylo,just want to say this before starting,Vrai was just putting his opinions on your hack here,you can decide to follow them or not and try to put your sentence carefully to tell him that what he thought is not correct is actually how you plan it want to be.
Maybe i was just paranoid but the "!" on your every sentence is like you're not happy with his comment.

Anyway heres mine,
The storyline can be more detailed and think like a more hard reason for red to go to another adventure.So basically i want to read a much longer storyline,the storyline atm is not really detailed enough,maybe you can write more to make me understand.

For the maps,the maps are the same with fire red maps,only diffirence is the tilemis there a reason for this?maybe you can change the maps as red have been gone along time from his home so the maps can be changed abit,owh yeah,i like your tiles of choice.They look great together,cheers for it.lol

I would suggest taking out the trainer from the first town since the first town where we player ready ourself to went to the other areas..lol,maybe you can put up an event to have a battle there.Btw,do the dialga event happen at the start of the hack,i mean,like after we got our pokemon and adventure abit to other town,we will see the event?I forgot how the lapras event looks like so i can't comment on it.

Just fix up the spelling.I really love your choice of tiles..hahax.

Good luck on this hack,will hoping to see the new story soon..hahax
yeah i will fix the story!

Quote originally posted by Darkerm:
I really like your World Map. Btw your maping need some work. Good luck and hope can play beta/Alpha very soon.
Well i need a mapper for viridian city and make the city a bit bigger!

Quote originally posted by Binary:
I doubt he was connecting to the progress you've made thus far and nor was he rating your progress. He was commenting on your features. And I'm guessing the '1%' is the amount of progress you've done in implementing that particular feature.
Well, some people do care about the CSS.
Anyways, it's looking good. Good luck on it.
OH okay thxs btw

NEW UPDATE BUT TINY ONE!:
Spoiler:



EDIT
BIG UPDATE: YAY! Viridian Updated!!:
Spoiler:

I know it has alot of errors, i will fix it ASAP!
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Old September 13th, 2010 (01:57 PM).
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Hey, I've got an idea. If you won't remap towns, the least you could do is remap routes. I mean, routes is where the majority of the exploring happens.
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  #13    
Old September 13th, 2010 (02:04 PM).
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Theres pallete errors on the Cut trees and The door?
and Oak's lab i think is blocked by posts

This has not been edited expect one tree has been taken out and the PC and Mart and Cliffs changed :/

Capital letters a lot where they shouldnt be ;P

Apart form that the hack looks goood
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  #14    
Old September 14th, 2010 (06:33 AM). Edited September 14th, 2010 by mustafa505.
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Quote originally posted by Nintendork15:

Theres pallete errors on the Cut trees and The door?
and Oak's lab i think is blocked by posts

This has not been edited expect one tree has been taken out and the PC and Mart and Cliffs changed :/

Capital letters a lot where they shouldnt be ;P

Apart form that the hack looks goood
Soirry i forgot to post the fixed screen shots btw i edited the Screen Shots!
and now heres an update :
Giovanni tries to attack you at route 1:




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Old October 3rd, 2010 (04:53 AM).
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Big change!:
well i am changing story so the new story is:
Heroes/Heroens Story:
Spoiler:
(1st of all your not red) You live on an old region of "Zeria" in 1990 you were born, in year 2000 you became a trainer like always, but you make a Pokedex when prof oak wins the pokemon league. because of team rocket who kidnapped your parent when you were 7, you have something what your parents gave you in past its an egg which hatches into pichu, after getting pichu your teacher give you bagon at school. you get ready on your joruney

Region Story:
Spoiler:
The region is filled with all region ( kanto Isshu Hoen Johto and Sinnoh)pokemon but in the end of the story this region gets dugged up because of the major tsunami. you and your brother shifts to kanto and their the story of your brother begin! but thats is another story
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Old October 8th, 2010 (02:26 AM).
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To be honest, IMPROVE your grammar and maps.
I can't be bothered to read something with awful grammar.
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Old October 8th, 2010 (03:32 PM).
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Okay, definitely some problems but sounds awesome.

For one, some tiles go over the player, a big oopsie (Fixing that is easy in Adv. Map, if you know how)

Two, the flower arrangement around 0:22 in the second movie (as that looks much more improved) is too linear, doing it in a zig-zag pattern looks much nicer on the eyes.

Three, from 0:10-0:14, mom looks messed up. She looks like metal mom or something.

Four, outside of home, putting two signs right next to each other seems kinda redundant. Maybe put the wooden one over near Route 1, so you take up less script block when (hopefully) adding a script to not let the player leave Starter Town without a Pokemon.

Lastly, what happened to the door animation? This may sound picky, but it's kinda awkward seeing a door that doesn't open, then you going through it with the "wzzh" sound of the Pokecenter doors.

Last lastly, there are some edge errors in the Goivanni script:

The edge above Goivanni

Last last lastly, I like your sig. Plus the game looks fun. ^ ^
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Old October 17th, 2010 (12:57 PM).
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any news about the hack ?
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  #19    
Old October 17th, 2010 (03:12 PM).
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CAN I BETA TEST????please
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Old October 21st, 2010 (03:16 AM). Edited October 22nd, 2010 by mustafa505.
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Quote originally posted by Teh Blazer:
Okay, definitely some problems but sounds awesome.

For one, some tiles go over the player, a big oopsie (Fixing that is easy in Adv. Map, if you know how)

Two, the flower arrangement around 0:22 in the second movie (as that looks much more improved) is too linear, doing it in a zig-zag pattern looks much nicer on the eyes.

Three, from 0:10-0:14, mom looks messed up. She looks like metal mom or something.

Four, outside of home, putting two signs right next to each other seems kinda redundant. Maybe put the wooden one over near Route 1, so you take up less script block when (hopefully) adding a script to not let the player leave Starter Town without a Pokemon.

Lastly, what happened to the door animation? This may sound picky, but it's kinda awkward seeing a door that doesn't open, then you going through it with the "wzzh" sound of the Pokecenter doors.

Last lastly, there are some edge errors in the Goivanni script:

The edge above Goivanni

Last last lastly, I like your sig. Plus the game looks fun. ^ ^
that screen is scrap!
Quote originally posted by Tcoppy:
CAN I BETA TEST????please
Sure PM meh!

and here are the teasers!
1:
2:
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Old October 21st, 2010 (07:00 AM).
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Just to fill you a little in about Isshu.
First of all. If it's Kanto then there shouldn't be any Isshu Pokémon, because Isshu is very far away. It's very rare to see Kanto, Johto, Hoenn and Sinnoh Pokémon in Isshu.
I would suggest that it was a whole new region.
Also Zorua and Zoroark isn't Legendaries.
They're kinda like Riolu and Lucario
And i would also like to Beta test, if you would allow it.
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  #22    
Old October 22nd, 2010 (06:55 AM).
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mustafa505 mustafa505 is offline
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Quote originally posted by Olli97:
Just to fill you a little in about Isshu.
First of all. If it's Kanto then there shouldn't be any Isshu Pokémon, because Isshu is very far away. It's very rare to see Kanto, Johto, Hoenn and Sinnoh Pokémon in Isshu.
I would suggest that it was a whole new region.
Also Zorua and Zoroark isn't Legendaries.
They're kinda like Riolu and Lucario
And i would also like to Beta test, if you would allow it.
Nope this is Zeria region already posted that the story is changed it will change all later! btw its called zeria region it concluded all pokemons! in the end they get migrated!
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Old October 22nd, 2010 (07:04 AM).
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metalsteelix metalsteelix is offline
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the name chronicles is an much used name, that's just an little problem :s
but nah, why would be care about it? the game looks awesome and there are even 5th generation legends! woo! but...promise me one thing...please dont put the legendary 5th generation trio in it, i hate them X]
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  #24    
Old October 22nd, 2010 (07:07 AM).
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aSeRo141414 aSeRo141414 is offline
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Why the maps looks like there original just minor edits..
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Old October 23rd, 2010 (05:08 PM).
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Sarcastic Prince Sarcastic Prince is offline
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Quote originally posted by aSeRo141414:
Why the maps looks like there original just minor edits..
I agree.

Musta Fa, you obviously need to improve your mapping and grammar.
I know you know how to script, but that isn't enough. If you can't map, FIND a mapper.

If you suck at grammar, FIND a grammar corrector. I would like to help you, but I can't let myself help people who can't even map properly or make storylines properly. Please, if you can't even Hack properly, at LEAST try improving your Hacking skills before you embarass yourself in front of the public!
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