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  #1    
Old February 2nd, 2011, 08:01 AM
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this is an thread about pokemon poetry! If you wish to post your pokemon poems here you can! i will also do pokemon poems and i will take requests for pokemon peoms as well (PM me to request!) ok here is something to get you going!


The start of a battle,
There are no tittle tattles,

A Pokémon on each side,
Types can turn a tide,
Strategies can cause a crowd to stir,
As the Pokémon shakes its fur,
A fire comet burst into action,
This cut the Pokémon health by a fraction,
The Pokémon gave a spark,
As it zoomed across making everything seem dark,
The Pokémon got a shock,
As the attack was blocked,
By an attack called protect,
So there was no effect,
Many attacks goes and comes,
But it isn’t all down to the mathematical sums,
It counts on the heart and desire,
The trainer’s aim to go higher and higher,
The love they give to the Pokémon soul,
And with that they will always reach their goal.


I know, I know i did put this on peom of the week but its not copyright since i did write this peom myself!
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  #2    
Old February 2nd, 2011, 08:58 AM
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Quote:
I know, I know i did put this on peom of the
week but its not copyright since i did write this
peom myself!
I knew it sounded familiar!

Anyway, the concept and ideas are very nice. It strongly emphasizes what we do here in the Pokémon world today.
The rhyming works pretty good too. Although there's this:
Quote:
The start of a battle,
There are no tittle tattles,
I don't really understand what that means. :cer_confused:
One thing I suggest is to keep the syllable count in lines even, or in a pattern, to give your poem rhythm.
Bottom line, this was great to read. I hope you will write more and improve.
Good work!
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  #3    
Old February 2nd, 2011, 12:34 PM
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I like this poem, Meerfall. Same as TJ, I had thought it sounded familiar, and I remember it from your poem of the week entry! I just had a few issues with the poem.

Quote:
Strategies can cause a crowd to stir,
As the Pokémon shakes its fur,
For some reason, "the pokemon" just sounds awkward. I think writing "a pokemon" or stating a specific pokemon like "the charizard" or "the pikachu". It's not a huge deal, it just didn't sound right in my head.

Quote:
Many attacks goes and comes,
But it isn’t all down to the mathematical sums,
This was my main issue with the poem. The rhythm here just seems completely off. I know you were trying to rhyme, and that's why you reversed 'comes' and 'goes'. But I have a gem of wisdom to share with you; never substitute rhythm for rhyme. If you have to, take out the lines completely. In my opinion, rhythm is the most important part of a poem. If you're rhythm is off, the poem becomes one big blog of words that don't mean anything. I know you like rhyming, but remember, poetry doesn't have to rhyme!

Quote:
The love they give to the Pokémon soul,
And with that they will always reach their goal.
This is my favorite couplet of the whole poem. I review a lot of poetry on here, and many of them just don't have a, well...satisfying ending. But I really like this. It really does speak a message, and it describes the whole theme of the poem (i.e., love, loyalty, friendship, etc.)

Good work Meerfall, I really enjoyed this one.
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  #4    
Old February 2nd, 2011, 11:54 PM
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thank you for al the compuments but now i'll explain some stuff

'Many attacks goes and comes,
But it isn’t all down to the mathematical sums,'

i know that goes and comes is really confuesing but really thier are two reasons for this

1. to rhyme
2. to change goes and comes it to a rare sentence that makes sense (e.g your pokemon is faster then the foe, so an attack GOES before an attack COMES!)

'For some reason, "the pokemon" just sounds awkward. I think writing "a pokemon" or stating a specific pokemon like "the charizard" or "the pikachu". It's not a huge deal, it just didn't sound right in my head.'

its best if i keep it as 'the pokemon' because if you remeber the first episode of pokemon anime, if you watched it as someone who didn't know anything about pokemon, you would had no idea what the pokemon are and it would become mysterious! so if an none pokemon reader (or a pokemon reader) reads it it can become the pokemon of their imaganation! instead of having to look up what it is!

'The start of a battle,
There are no tittle tattles,'

which means that no one lies or there are no liers because did you ever see a trainer shout out another mover then their pokemon uses something else? (except when it disobays)

Pikachu peom

The colour of sunshine,
With a heart so kind,
Cheeks as red as fire!
And naturally a Trier,
Ears long and thin,
That doesn’t dare cause a sin,
The tips of the ears are black,
That contains the power that would never lack,
A tail in the shape of a thunder bolt,
And electricity measurement of ten kilowatts and a volt,
This Pokémon looks cute,
But at other times it will steal your loot,
With its shiny eyes and button cute nose,
Behind that face nobody knows,
If it’s a loyally mouse,
That behaves in the house,
Or an evil rat,
That joins evil teams with the sevipers and golbats!
Pikachu as cute as can be,
But don’t rely on what you see,
It could be evil till its heart’s content,
Or reliable and cute which was always meant.

enjoy :D
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Last edited by MeerFall; February 3rd, 2011 at 06:00 AM. Reason: Your double post has been automatically merged.
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  #5    
Old February 3rd, 2011, 01:21 PM
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i like your poems Meerfall! but i was never good at making ones myself i just cnt rhyme!
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  #6    
Old February 3rd, 2011, 02:40 PM
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Pretty good. But you need to remember thar rhyming isn't the only requirement in poetry. You also need beats and harmony.
Speaking of which, ShaQuL, if you really think you cannot rhyme, there's also free-verse poetry and, of course, haiku.
Try giving those a try.
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  #7    
Old February 4th, 2011, 12:05 AM
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ok i'm doing requests anyone want to request something?
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  #8    
Old February 4th, 2011, 02:54 AM
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Here's one of my old Pokémon poems I have posted in the past.

The Jubilee Pokémon
written by: TJgamer

Greetings to thee,
Come with me,
I'll show you a rare Pokémon,
That will fill you with glee.

It has large wings for flight,
They are a beautiful sight,
Don't be afraid of it,
It will not bite.

It has powers beyond compare,
For those who show kindness and care,
It will give you its blessings,
Especially if you love and share.

Me oh my!
Look up high!
There it is now,
A Togekiss flying through the sky.
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Last edited by TJgamer; February 4th, 2011 at 03:02 AM.
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  #9    
Old February 4th, 2011, 04:21 AM
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that is well good Tjgamer!
no wonder why i'm jelous of you (lol) :D
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  #10    
Old February 4th, 2011, 10:42 AM
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Now now, no need to be jealous. I'm not that good.
Also I have a request.
Could you do a poem on Froslass, the Snowland Pokémon?
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Last edited by TJgamer; February 4th, 2011 at 11:34 AM.
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  #11    
Old February 4th, 2011, 11:34 AM
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sure i'll do my best

froslass peom here i come

Froslass peom

Froslass a Pokémon that snows
But behind its mask nobody knows
If it as nice as can be
Or it will poison your tea!
A Pokémon of white and clear beauty
That goes though life with a duty
Or someone who hides behind a mask
And to steal Pokémon is its task
A Pokémon with a mystery unsolved
It wears its mask and shall never evolve
Froslass a Pokémon that snows
But behind its mask nobody knows...

enjoy Tjgamer :D
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Last edited by MeerFall; February 4th, 2011 at 11:59 AM. Reason: Your double post has been automatically merged.
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  #12    
Old February 4th, 2011, 12:50 PM
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Heheh, that was pretty awesome!
So...:cer_giggle:...cool!

Great effort made a great poem.
Thanks a whole bunch!
:cer_love:
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Last edited by TJgamer; February 4th, 2011 at 01:05 PM.
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  #13    
Old February 4th, 2011, 12:57 PM
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your welcome anytime!

Any more requests?
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  #14    
Old February 4th, 2011, 01:06 PM
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How about Riolu?
Both you and I seem to like him very much.
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  #15    
Old February 4th, 2011, 09:05 PM
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My request: CHAINSAW MEOWTH! Meerfall, I think you know him pretty well
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  #16    
Old February 5th, 2011, 12:55 AM
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I have to say I really like your poems (:
I'd love to see you write a poem about Eevee. :3
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  #17    
Old February 5th, 2011, 03:01 AM
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ok i'll start on peoms about riolu, chainsaw meouth, and eevee

Riolu

A shiny blue
But can be yellow too
Eyes that show determination
Its competitive nature is its motivation
It moves swiftly and quite fast too
It hears quite well even the smallest coo
But at this stage its aura is uncontrollable
And many can be unconsolable
But it wanders on with no cooperation
Pass all the industrialization
Where its home should be
That riolu was once with me...


here ya go Tjgamer

i'll start on chainsaw meouth next
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Last edited by MeerFall; February 5th, 2011 at 04:29 AM. Reason: Your double post has been automatically merged.
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  #18    
Old February 5th, 2011, 03:27 AM
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Once again, a very nice poem.
Except I noticed
Quote:
It moves swiftly and quite fast too
...It's a little redundant.

But I hope to see more.
You'll improve in time.
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  #19    
Old February 5th, 2011, 04:08 AM
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The chainsaw meowth

A Pokémon that lurks at night
With its strong sense of sight
Welding a chainsaw
But that isn’t its core
This Pokémon has a strong love for Meerfall
Ever since he has met her at the mall
Followed by his best friend DarkPokeBall
But hardly answers his call
Beware of the chainsaw meowth
And his forever talking mouth!

here ya go DarkPokeBall
enjoy and tell me what meowth thinks!

sorry tjgamer and yes i hope to improve in time!

next peom the eevee!
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  #20    
Old February 5th, 2011, 04:19 AM
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Quote:
A shinnying blue
But can be yellow too
I'm not sure what 'shinnying' is supposed to mean :/
But other than that good poem
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  #21    
Old February 5th, 2011, 04:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dulcet View Post

I'm not sure what 'shinnying' is supposed to mean :/
But other than that good poem

sorry a big spelling mistake

it was surrpose to be 'shiny' blue
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  #22    
Old February 5th, 2011, 05:01 AM
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Not a bad poem on the Froslass - neat that you went with speculating if it is nice or not. There's some parts that felt a bit off to me here and there:
Quote:
Froslass peom
poem. =p
Quote:
Froslass a Pokémon that snows
I feel a comma or colon could go after 'Froslass' there, personally.
[QUOTE]If it as nice as can be
Or it will poison your tea! QUOTE]
The second line sounds a bit off to me - maybe 'Or if it will...' I also think perhaps a different example of something bad it could do that relates to it more (as in, instead of poisoning tea, freezing someone/thing would make more sense, imo). Of course you went for rhyming here so something that goes with 'be' would be needed I suppose.
Quote:
A Pokémon with a mystery unsolved
It wears its mask and shall never evolve
As you went with rhyming all the other lines, I'll also point out that these two don't work out with the 'unsolved/evolve' bit (maybe 'It wears its mask and is a Snorunt evolved'...? Or the first line changed instead to something like 'This Pokemon's mystery is one you shaln't solve')

As a beside, Froslass is also a Pokemon that can only be female, so maybe adding that in and hence replacing the it/s with she, her, her's, etc would be something to consider?
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  #23    
Old February 5th, 2011, 05:02 AM
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Eevee

A Pokémon that evolves to the trainers needs
To a leafeon a lover of seeds
Or a flareon with a love for a couch
Or an umbreon which will make you go “ouch”
Or an glaceon with an coat of beauty
Or an vaporeon with is no way snooty
Or an jolteon with electrifyingly cool
Or an espeon that is no way cruel
Or just never evolve it
As this Pokémon has no limit
It can be whatever you want it to be
Whatever you think is ‘me’
Whenever it’s cool or cute
Whenever it’s good or steals loot
Eevee is the perfect Pokémon for anyone
And the perfect friend for any Pokémon!


here you go dulcet enjoy :D

remember i am doing request on anything pokemon related e.g. pokeballs, pokemon, items, chainsaw meowth...

[QUOTE=bobandbill;6438037]Not a bad poem on the Froslass - neat that you went with speculating if it is nice or not. There's some parts that felt a bit off to me here and there:
poem. =p

I feel a comma or colon could go after 'Froslass' there, personally.
Quote:
If it as nice as can be
Or it will poison your tea! QUOTE]
The second line sounds a bit off to me - maybe 'Or if it will...' I also think perhaps a different example of something bad it could do that relates to it more (as in, instead of poisoning tea, freezing someone/thing would make more sense, imo). Of course you went for rhyming here so something that goes with 'be' would be needed I suppose.
As you went with rhyming all the other lines, I'll also point out that these two don't work out with the 'unsolved/evolve' bit (maybe 'It wears its mask and is a Snorunt evolved'...? Or the first line changed instead to something like 'This Pokemon's mystery is one you shaln't solve')

As a beside, Froslass is also a Pokemon that can only be female, so maybe adding that in and hence replacing the it/s with she, her, her's, etc would be something to consider?
thank you for your advice i will make the change and repost it

if you have any requests please post!

here is the changed frostlass peom


Froslass, a Pokémon that snows
But behind its mask nobody knows
If it as nice as can be
Or if it will poison your tea!
A Pokémon of white and clear beauty
That goes though life with a duty
Or someone who hides behind a mask
And to steal Pokémon is its task
A Pokémon with a mystery unsolved
It wears its mask and fully evolved
Froslass, a Pokémon that snows
But behind its mask nobody knows...


please request!
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Last edited by MeerFall; February 5th, 2011 at 05:07 AM. Reason: Your double post has been automatically merged.
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  #24    
Old February 5th, 2011, 05:14 AM
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I like the Eevee poem, it's really cute Thanks for writing it <3
I'll request another when I find a good pokemon.
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  #25    
Old February 5th, 2011, 05:15 AM
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great dulcet i'm gald that i've reached your expections :D
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