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Writer's Lounge Need advice? Want to give advice? Come on in and share ideas with your fellow writers. Just remember, all fics go in the main forum.


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  #151    
Old February 2nd, 2011, 01:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Bay Alexison View Post
And Impo, sorry for not responding to your idea. I'm not too familiar with Ace Attorney nor Professor Layton, so I can't help you there. D: I'm sure many people will be interested in that crossover, though!
thats ok

i just need to know if it makes sense xD
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  #152    
Old February 9th, 2011, 06:19 PM
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Well, I got this idea that ain't getting off my head, so I wrote a story on it. I'm unsure wether to post it on the fanfic or not, mostly because I'm a beginner at writing and maybe might need better grammar and such.....but what makes me doubt my writing being read is the fact that is takes place in the digimon world, from a digimon's point a view.

To put it simple, do you think a story of a human that turned into a digimon, not a human for a VERY long time, will be a good idea? I got relatives that like it so far...only a very few though. Any tips or suggestions?
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  #153    
Old February 9th, 2011, 07:47 PM
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There's not much to say without more information on the plot. It would be interesting to see a fic where a human turns into a Digimon, but that's not a lot to go with. If you mention what happens in the rest of your plot, then we can give you more help.
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  #154    
Old February 10th, 2011, 03:36 AM
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There's not much to say without more information on the plot. It would be interesting to see a fic where a human turns into a Digimon, but that's not a lot to go with. If you mention what happens in the rest of your plot, then we can give you more help.
Well, I hope you understand it since it involves in digimon, so this is most of it.
Atina woke up being a Lopmon, not knowing why she did nor how or when she did. As she lives/experiences the life of a digimon, then she realizes how fun it actually is, and dangerous.

The plot that drives the story is that when she became a digimon, somehow this affected a sovereign digimon, Zhuquiomon, into madness. Azulongmon, the one of the east and spring, makes his hench men to help her by letting her join to make other digimon not know of her existence and ruin the digital world, yet Zhuquiomon, driven by the sudden madness, wants to capture her via any means necessary.

Theres more, but i'd give away too much. I got more background plots(if you call it like that).
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  #155    
Old February 15th, 2011, 09:56 PM
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I have to make this quick, so I have this basic plot:

A boy in Ecruteak City receives a Pokemon for his birthday, and is pushed out of his comfortable world to traverse the world of Pokemon.

And..that's it. I can't add nothing to it or otherwise I get disappointed in it, or think it doesn't look very good to me, and if I take anything away it seems it's lacking.

So...what should I do?
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  #156    
Old February 16th, 2011, 01:26 AM
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Merged this with the plot bunny thread as that is what this thread is for - giving advice on story plot ideas. =p

By itself it seems to be a good starting point, and in fact if what you are worried about is whether is interesting enough as-is then it actually can be fine, a simple Pokemon journey story without 'saving the world' or whatnot, as long as the story is well-written, the characters are believable, and so forth.

Anyway, one way to add to a story idea is to consider why or how the world/characters will react to an event. For instance, you mentioned that he 'is pushed out of his comfortable world' - how does the main character respond to the sudden change then? Does he embrace the challenge, or does he somewhat wimp out or fail to for instance set up a tent when he fails to get to the nearest city by nightfall? How would his Pokemon react to him doing so? Try building off points like that - maybe that will help. Check out the 2nd post in this thread as well, maybe something there will help you.
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  #157    
Old February 19th, 2011, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted by インフェルノの津波 View Post

So...what should I do?
Think of the ending. How do you want it to end? Does the boy's personality change? Does he stay the same? Does something change his life? Stuff like that.
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  #158    
Old February 20th, 2011, 10:20 PM
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I have a sequel prepared for my Layton fanfic, just posting it for no reason.
It is based on the city of Atlantis, but takes a different route than the mermaids fable.

Professor Layton and the Sunken City

Professor Layton and Luke are aiding Dr Shrader with his underwater research when they stumble upon the city of Atlantis. They explore and find all the people of the city still in their homes, very peaceful: as if they knew they were going to drown. They also took back some samples of soil back to Dr Shrader, which he announces has some very strange substances in it.
Why did the whole population of this city die, accepting their fate in the process?
How does this strange substance found in the soil relate to this?

Explanation
Spoiler:
Antlantic scientists were busy in a labratory, experimenting with poisons and nuclear waste. By accident and sheer chance, they created a highly contagious (but very slow-activating) poison. The scientists didn't know of their creation, and infected them as they left the laboratory, they infected whoever they passed by. Soon enough, the whole city was infected. There were no known symptoms of this disease, and people only became suspicious when the first scientists died of the illness (which was about three months after the experiment). One surviving scientist, who wasn't present at the experiment, found the error and the virus, realizing everyone was infected.
He alerted everyone in a big meeting, and revealed the only way to neutralize the virus; sea-water. The water's naturally high salt content and vast amount of sea life (which were immune) made the virus completely harmless (the virus also cannot spread underwater). The virus had spread for so long, that every single person and item on the island contained the condition, so the only possible solution of stopping it's growth was sinking the city. One problem has risen though. Sea-water neutralizes the virus, but if anything but earth is taken back above water the virus can return to its' original state. Knowing this, the town nobly sacrificed themselves and the town to rid the world of this virus.

-
I just need to find a plausible way to sink the city


so, critique, comments, please?
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  #159    
Old February 22nd, 2011, 05:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Impo View Post
I have a sequel prepared for my Layton fanfic, just posting it for no reason.
It is based on the city of Atlantis, but takes a different route than the mermaids fable.

Professor Layton and the Sunken City

Professor Layton and Luke are aiding Dr Shrader with his underwater research when they stumble upon the city of Atlantis. They explore and find all the people of the city still in their homes, very peaceful: as if they knew they were going to drown. They also took back some samples of soil back to Dr Shrader, which he announces has some very strange substances in it.
Why did the whole population of this city die, accepting their fate in the process?
How does this strange substance found in the soil relate to this?

Explanation
Spoiler:
Antlantic scientists were busy in a labratory, experimenting with poisons and nuclear waste. By accident and sheer chance, they created a highly contagious (but very slow-activating) poison. The scientists didn't know of their creation, and infected them as they left the laboratory, they infected whoever they passed by. Soon enough, the whole city was infected. There were no known symptoms of this disease, and people only became suspicious when the first scientists died of the illness (which was about three months after the experiment). One surviving scientist, who wasn't present at the experiment, found the error and the virus, realizing everyone was infected.
He alerted everyone in a big meeting, and revealed the only way to neutralize the virus; sea-water. The water's naturally high salt content and vast amount of sea life (which were immune) made the virus completely harmless (the virus also cannot spread underwater). The virus had spread for so long, that every single person and item on the island contained the condition, so the only possible solution of stopping it's growth was sinking the city. One problem has risen though. Sea-water neutralizes the virus, but if anything but earth is taken back above water the virus can return to its' original state. Knowing this, the town nobly sacrificed themselves and the town to rid the world of this virus.

-
I just need to find a plausible way to sink the city


so, critique, comments, please?
Well, the whole plots seems interesting and I'd love to read. As for your question, I've a question for you too. Do you want the city to be sunk via natural means or the citizens purposely caused their country to sink? If it's the first option, well maybe an earthquake of 8.8 or a deadly tsunami could complete the job. I'm not sure how the people could sink the city, it would take a long long time.
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  #160    
Old February 22nd, 2011, 11:00 AM
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Hi, I'm kinda new here but I'm trying to start a Pokemon fic.

It's going to be people-based rather than Pokemon-based (so no Pokemorph, Pokemon p.o.v, etc.) and it's going to be femslash, so if you have a problem with that, I guess this is your warning.

My two MCs are:

Jessica, who works for Mr. Fuji in Lavender Town and returns the bones of Pokemon to their original homes so their souls can be reborn. (There is a Pokemon legend saying that when a Pokemon's bones are buried in their 'homeland' or where they were caught, that Pokemon will be reborn.) Jessica doesn't quite believes it but wants it to be true.

Her pokemon are Pidgeot and Furret


Quinn, who I'm not quite sure who she is yet. Originally she was going to be a full fledged Rocket member who trained the incoming Pokemon given to the Grunts. She was going to have the stereotypical 'Don't eff with me' no nonsense personality. Now she's transformed to a druggie who works for Rocket as a kind of messenger girl, who traffics their drugs between Johto and Kanto.

Her personality has mellowed considerably and now is more reserved rather than stoic, with a wry sense of humor. Quinn grew up in Ecruteak City and because of that, she is well versed in Pokemon legends. She ran away from home when she got into the Rocket circle. She only has one Pokemon, a Growlithe.


Since there are no mentions of drugs in Pokemon canon, I have created my own idea of one, from Schuckle Juice. When the juice in a Schuckle's shell matures past being berry juice but isn't quite a rare candy, it can be extracted and used as a hallucinogen (similar to herion). It is known as either Juice, or in it's dried form, Dust. This is what Quinn is addicted to.

Btw, since I only like the first two gens of Pokemon, I'm only using the first to gens.

I wanted to know what people thought of my characters so far (especially Quinn) and my idea of the drug. If you need any extra info, just let me know.

Any comments are appreciated..
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  #161    
Old February 22nd, 2011, 01:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Diamond1304 View Post
Well, the whole plots seems interesting and I'd love to read. As for your question, I've a question for you too. Do you want the city to be sunk via natural means or the citizens purposely caused their country to sink? If it's the first option, well maybe an earthquake of 8.8 or a deadly tsunami could complete the job. I'm not sure how the people could sink the city, it would take a long long time.
well, i'm wanting the city to be sunk, but maybe by manipulating natural means or something that sounds... realisticish
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  #162    
Old February 22nd, 2011, 05:21 PM
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I agree the natural means method would be more realistic, imo.

@ Daughter of Leo - the characters you have there thus far seem to be a decent start. Consider establishing why Quinn became a druggie in your story, I suggest, and also how Mr Fuji can manage to send people to potentially other regions to bury Pokemon (is there a charity, or a network of volunteers, or..?) as those were questions that came to mind for me. The Berry juice idea is neat I feel, and certainly there are a number of different berries out there to take advantage of with that idea as well perhaps, if you so choose. Then you just need to integrate those characters into the plot you have planned. (For the record femslash is not my thing so I doubt I'll have much advice to give in regards to that =p).
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  #163    
Old February 22nd, 2011, 11:50 PM
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I'm currently working on a Warriors fanfic and I've gotten most of the characters and plot outline done. Just wondering whether anyone might be slightly interested in the idea of a Warrior Cats fanfiction? I might have a Pokemon fic up in future, but I don't have any outstanding ideas for a plot so i decided to do one for Warriors as I love that book series. XD
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  #164    
Old February 23rd, 2011, 09:44 PM
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I like the Warriors series. I haven't read as many of the books as I would like. (I've only read two. I'm more of a Seekers fan.) You can still post it and see if you can get any interest. And I might still take a look if I'm familiar with any of the characters or ideas.
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  #165    
Old February 24th, 2011, 12:24 AM
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I like the Warriors series. I haven't read as many of the books as I would like. (I've only read two. I'm more of a Seekers fan.) You can still post it and see if you can get any interest. And I might still take a look if I'm familiar with any of the characters or ideas.
Umm...well....since I'm doing a fanfic, I'm not exactly using the chraacters from the main series. I'm making up my own clans, characters etc. So it's sorta a new clean version. Anyone, even those who've never read the real fic before can still read through it. xD
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  #166    
Old February 25th, 2011, 05:35 PM
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I have a fanfic idea:

It is the year 100{the people of Hoenn have re-recorded dates after the takeover} and Team Magma has dominance over the entire planet. Its biggest competitor, Team Aqua, has been defeated. In the bloody war between the two teams, all pokemon have become extinct. The main charecter is a magma grunt convinced of the noble ways of Team magma. In time, however, he begins to notice the rise of the Underground, a rebellion against Magma. He begins to notice the bad things he is doing, and is determined to bring down Magma.
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  #167    
Old February 25th, 2011, 07:18 PM
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It just seems funny that you're planning on writing a Pokemon fic when your plot could just be original fiction, and nothing is lost.

I mean, the idea is interesting, but you're really going to have to work to show how the world has changed without a massive chunk of the world's species. Pokemon make up the whole of the planet. They're what humans have centered their lives around, so if Magma/Aqua killed all the Pokemon, there's going to be some serious repercussions. The whole world's going to change.

It's just... It seems weird to want to write this using the Pokemon world and its characters when you're taking away the biggest part of the franchise. The plot idea you have, given the information that you gave, just seems better suited as original fiction unless you bring back the Pokemon into the world.
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  #168    
Old February 26th, 2011, 05:27 AM
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No, actually, Team aqua's biggest weapon against magma is that they secretly saved 4 pokemon from the bloody fighting, and they are using them against the evil Power of magma.

I won't completely take away pokemon, I promise.
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  #169    
Old February 28th, 2011, 05:17 AM
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Ok, regarding my Warriors fanfic, I might be writing up a second book as a sequel to he first one so should I compile the books altogether in the same thread or have a individual thread for each book. There's probably about 20 chapters in a book, I'll probably won't go more than 24 or 25. I might consider posting a sequel if my fanfic gets alot of audience and feedback and if people tell me to. XD
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  #170    
Old March 27th, 2011, 06:50 AM
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Just to exercise my brain and writing muscles I have decided to write a fanfic where Ash and Co. visits my home country of Singapore.

I am using the cast of BW season in Pokemon.

Basically Ash travels to an island nation known as Entepore. Odd things happen to Ash and Co. once they land on this island whose people speak Singlish and end with "lahs".etc

Also laws that oppress Pokemon-related activities are abound in this island just as strict laws with big penalties exist in real world Singapore.

However as the 3 part series goes on, Ash and his new friend discovers that there is more than meets the eye with laws that defied those used by the Pokemon Association.

The Plot is still being concocted.

I wonder if I am going to write this in 3rd person in the point of view of a minor Character who comes in contact with Ash. Or maybe from Ash's point of view.

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  #171    
Old March 31st, 2011, 02:37 AM
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I was having a really long dream last night and I thought "I cannot waste this because it's such an interesting story idea". Please tell me would you read a story like this? I'm not sure if I'm going to write it or not because it's a difficult feat for me. I don't mind if someone else gives it a bash, but bear in mind if you do I might also attempt it too.

Quote:
main character:

Male, teenager, living alone, final year at high school. The high school is a dump. His education is pretty bad, and he's going to leave with no prospects for his future. He lives alone because he got sick of his drug-abusing parents, and now lives in an abandoned warehouse where he has collected furnishings, a fire, etc.

Lives in a rough neighbourhood, almost pre-apocalyptic. Very dangerous. Police are corrupt criminals. Hospitals are too - they will treat you, but then you will be in debt to them and they will seize all of your assets to cover the cost of the treatment. If you don't have any, they won't even look at you (or if they've already treated you they'll have you thrown in prison).

Our male protagonist is annoyed by the Japanese trio who lark about in class, causing mischeif. A group of high energy teenage boys who are loud, boistrous, fight and play a lot, and generally see life as one big game. Protagonist can't stand them. Protagonist only really sees the serious side of life, worrying about how he will support himself.

These are the 3 Japanese guys: A tough-guy jolly character with a shaven head and tattoos, a calm, caring type character with long black fuzzy hair, and a slightly quiet character with an emo hair cut (shaven at the sides, long and dangly from the top with red streaks). But all 3 have personality traits in common: happy, non-serious, boistrous, etc, surprising since they're living in poverty.

Walking back from school, past the slums (which he hates passing due to safety risk), our protagonist is caught in stray gunfire, with a bullet crossing through his frontal lobe. The Japanese trio catch sight of this as protagonist crashes to the ground.

For a moment there is no movement, then protagonist finally stirs, before sitting up, swaying and clutching his bleeding head. The trio go to his aide, amazed and impressed that he even survived, never mind that fact he got back up. Since going to hospital is financially risky and could land them in prison, the trio take him to their home and treat him with home remedies.

All the trio have is a single shop in a run-down neighbourhood which doubles for them as a home. It seems to sell second-hand home electronics, but is doing poorly, full of only bits and pieces and no regular stock, and hasn't made a sale in a long time. Very unprofessional. It used to belong to their parents, but nothing is said about what happened to them. Our protagonist recovers here until his wounds begin to heal. It's touch-and-go, though. He risks severe infection.

When he is up and about after a couple of weeks he seems a different person, more child-like and innocent and less serious. He seems to be re-learning things and seems to have suffered some brain damage. He doesn't talk at first, even when spoken to he just stares back seemingly confused. His memories do start to come back including his ability to speak, but his personality is permanently altered due to the permanent damage to his frontal lobe. He starts to be less serious and more fun-loving, like the Japanese trio.

They teach him their ways of living, of being free and happy even in the face of poverty and oppression. Protagonist has forgotten about all the worries he used to practically get sick over from stress when he lived alone.

Their idea of fun is getting into fights with each other, running around, stirring some light-hearted trouble (with those who oppress others and the fat-cats), getting drunk, etc. Something at the back of protagonist's mind keeps telling him "this is wrong, I shouldn't be doing this, these people aren't good for me" but it's not clear enough.

One time during the day when they're messing around together and it's hot out, tumbling around on the concrete and kicking a ball with some of the local kids, having a few beers, etc generally a lazy day, protagonist starts to feel dizzy, faint and distant and walks into the underpass for some shade. Very suddenly and unexpectedly he collapses to the ground. Long-hair fuzzy guy runs over while the others haven't noticed yet and turn protagonist's head round so he can see his eyes asking him over and over if he's okay.

Protagonist seems to be staring into nothingness and not responding to anything, only blinking occasionally. Then he starts to fit and foam, causing long-hair fuzzy guy to exclaim something in Japanese. He runs up, leaving protagonist to fit, (clearly not thinking straight due to panic because he shouldn't leave him alone).

Long-hair guy insists to the other guys on an ambulance when they realise protagonist is bleeding heavily from the nose too, even though it means they will need to hand over their shop to pay for the expensive treatment and end up homeless. It's a risk they end up taking, and the paramedics arrive not long after protagonist has stopped fitting and is conscious again. The paramedics just give him some drugs to prevent any future fits, since they have assessed that the guys don't have enough between them to cover any major treatment, they'd need to do scans on him in hospital and stuff to find the exact cause. They squalid little shop wouldn't cover it, they're already going to have to give up their stock to pay for the drugs.

Protagonist seems to be in a bad way, lying on a futon in the back room of the shop, not recognising anyone. He sees lots of people in the room who simply are not there, maybe people from his childhood. He keeps seeing seahorses. He also seems to have a temperature and is sweating a lot. His friends suspect that there's more to these drugs than meets the eye, and decide not to give protagonist any more.

So, I'm thinking later in the story they manage to find an actual proper doctor to come and have a look at him, maybe one who is sympathetic to the needs of the poor, or maybe one of the group get involved with something more dangerous, such as finding a doctor who is involved in an organised gang and who he can do illegal grunt work for in return for treatement and hospital access. Not sure about this. But they do eventually find a doctor who discovers it's the fact he was shot in the head that is causing this to happen to him. Swelling, heat, infection and restriction, causing burst veins and impaired brain activity. Requires surgery to remove the bullet, as well as long and costly treatment to fight the infection, with no guarantee of success.

The gang involved with the doctor need somebody to do something for them, knowing that the job is too dangerous (maybe something that will involve death, or something that will involve imprisonment, basically they need to use someone as a figurative human shield) and now the boys are in a difficult situation because the gang want to use one of them. In return they will treat their freind, but should they refuse, they will kill him.

So we see the boy's happy-go-lucky nature slowly dwindle away. I'm not sure how it might end. I haven't decided yet.
What are your thoughts?

If you're curious this is the dream that inspired it:

Quote:
Some guy who lives alone is shot in a classroom in the forehead (should have killed him instantly) three times, and amazingly gets back up and sits forward. The Japanese trio in the class (who the main character hates) are amazed and think its totally the coolest thing they've ever seen and take him in as their new fourth friend. Why the guy doesn't get medical care, I don't know.

So, the Japanese trio live in what was once a shop in a slummy area (maybe the whole city is like that) and take their new friend there to let him recover. All is well. Main character has a new lease of life and starts to take things a bit more lightly, realising he almost died in misery. He starts having some fun for once. His wounds heal and he seems a different person... maybe because he just had a partial lobotomy!

There are 3 of the Japanese guys: A tough-guy jolly character with a shaven head and tattoos, a calm, caring type character with long black fuzzy hair, and a quiet, emo-ish type character with an emo hair cut (shaven at the sides, long and dangly from the top with red streaks). But all 3 have personality traits in common: happy, non-serious, boistrous, etc, surprising ince they're living in poverty.

However, suddenly out of nowhere the Japanese guys' new friend takes a sudden down-turn, collapses out of the blue, and starts to take fits, while not recognising anyone or anything, and not responding to stimuli (sometimes staring into space, or shaking violently). Long-hair guy freaks out and starts shouting something in Japanese before shouting for an ambulance.

The guy who was shot, now the one having fallen ill (this is long after his wounds are fully healed over), is visited by paramedics who, being from such a run-down slummy city, don't take him into hospital but instead just give him lots of drugs to stop his fitting, especially since he has no money.

Later, somehow, they get a doctor in (who? How? Why? I don't know) who is in amazement that this guy survived from gunshots to the head, and explains that's probably what's causing the fits and loss of awareness and personality. Meanwhile, the guy is having hallucinations that his 3 friends are seahorses floating around the room (and thinks this is totally normal), before they actually enter the room, and is also hallucinating lots of other people in the room who aren't there, maybe people from his past.

Then the dream switches to a woman going into a Channel 4 News station for a job interview. She heads up the building until she reaches the office of the woman who will be taking her interview, only to discover the interviewer has gone completely mad.

Last edited by Beechlgz; March 31st, 2011 at 02:42 AM.
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  #172    
Old March 31st, 2011, 03:07 AM
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bobandbill
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Going to move this to the Plot Bunny thread sticky - this is what that thread is for after all. =p
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  #173    
Old March 31st, 2011, 03:16 AM
Beechlgz
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Plot bunny... what is this I don't even

Just read it. I didn't realise this was for story ideas, maybe you should change the thread title? Plot bunny just sounds like, I dunno, weird. Like some sort of story title.
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  #174    
Old March 31st, 2011, 04:08 AM
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bobandbill
Where's that sheep...
 
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Maybe it's not clear for people who have never heard of it but it seems to be a pretty common term for 'story idea' as far as I know. At any rate the thread is explained in the first post anyways.
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  #175    
Old March 31st, 2011, 04:20 AM
Beechlgz
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Yeah I know in my last post I said I had just read it, but what I was suggesting was making the title more obvious because before now it really didn't occur to me that the thread was for plot ideas. I'm afraid in all my time writing fanfics and stories I have never encountered the term plot bunny. As I say I thought it was some story title or fanfiction or a club or something so I really had no incentive to check it out. It's just a suggestion to prevent any further confusion. Maybe type in brackets next to the title (plot ideas go here) or something.

Hope I could be of help.
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