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  #1    
Old April 29th, 2004, 12:27 AM
Brian Powell
Have a nice day!
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: At a Starbuck's cafe
Age: 30
Gender:
Chapter 1

A man in black leather clothing was driving his motorcycle near Rustboro City in the Hoenn Region. That man was none other than Black Jack.

A couple months back, he and Tyranitar fought against a tough Blaziken in a dojo called The Flaming Fist School near Saffron city in the Kanto region. Black Jack remembered the promise he made to the departed sensei of the dojo to look after his Blaziken. With that in mind, Black Jack and his Tyranitar managed to beat Blaziken and capture it, making it his.

Black Jack was now arriving in Rustboro city to take a break from his winning streak, which was 1000-0. He visited a local tavern, and ordered a bottle of beer. As he drank, he noticed that a lot of people were staring at him. As he turned and looked around, they were still staring at him. What do you guys want? he asked.

You creep! shouted one of the people. He was wearing a punks type of clothing. he also had a punks type of hairdo. Youre the guy that left Team Rocket!

The others joined up, agreeing with him.
Yeah, Team Rocket rules!
We wont let you get away with this!

Surprised, Black Jack said, Who are you guys? Team Rocket fans?
Were more than that! replied one of them. Were the Rocket Revengers! We punish those who hurt Team Rocket!

An anime sweat drop came down on Black Jacks forehead. You gotta be kidding me

Cmon, gang! shouted another one of the Rocket Revengers. Lets teach him a lesson!

As the Rocket Revengers were about to gang up on Black Jack, he shouted Hey! At least let me finish my beer!

Meanwhile, an 11-year-old girl was about to exit the entrance of Rustboro city listening to her Walkman. She had blue trousers, red sneakers and a black jacket. She had red ponytail hair and cold blue eyes.

As she walks into the nearest forest, a ninja jumped out of one of the trees and landed on his feet. No one can tell from the appearance of his face since he was masked, but he had bushy black hair and serious brown eyes. The colour of his ninja clothing is red.

Youre late, Cassandra! said the ninja in a calm but serious voice.
Whatever, Cassandra replied in an uncaring tone. Lets get this lesson started.

The ninja made some bird noises and out popped a Taillow.

Is that the best you could do? Cassandra asked in a disappointed tone. My father forced me to be taught by a man who makes bird noises just bring this pip-squeak? What kind of lesson is this, Seed?

Without answering Cassandras question, Seed said, Call out one of your pokemon.

Cassandra threw a pokeball. Go, Absol!

Absol came out of her pokeball. Absol!

Absol! Cassandra cried Slash it to pieces!

After giving it one Slash attack, the Taillow was knocked out.

Very impressive, Seed said. Now for another one.

He made the same bird noises and out came another Taillow.

What? Another one? Cassandra complained.
This one will give you a surprise afterwards, Seed replied.
Heh! Absol! Slash attack!

Absol ran at the Tailow and used the attack, but misses.

Not fast enough, said Seed. Think of another strategy.
Grr Absol, Sword Dance and Slash attack!

Absol span round until her nails became sharper. She was about to use Slash attack, but to Cassandras and her shock, the Tailow evolved into a Swellow!

I told you youll be surprised, said Seed, who was not shocked. But do not be startled by the evolution of this pokemon. Now go!

Cassandra nodded and ordered Absol again to attack Swellow. Normally, a Swellow is faster than an Absol. But since Absol was well trained, she has more speed than the newly evolved Swellow. Absol used her Slash attack to knock out Swellow, even though it connected, the Swellow stood unfazed.

What? How can this be? Cassandra asked.
What do they teach you in Pokemon School child? Seed said with criticism. Swellow has a higher defence than its pre-evolved form.

Absol attacked Swellow again and again, but still it seemed like that it cant be brought down. Sellow tried to fight back, but Absol kept on dodging each attack.

Lets end this, Absol, Cassandra said. Flamethrower attack!

Absol shot her Flamethrower at Swellow, knocking it out.

Thatll do for today, Seed said.
What? So soon? Cassandra asked.
I have other business to attend to today. Take this time to toughen up your pokemon. You may go.

Cassandra smiled and walked back to Rustboro city.

Meanwhile, back at the tavern, Black Jack and his pokemon stood as the Rocket Revengers were lying on the floor either injured or knocked out.

Well, I have to give you guys credit, said Black Jack. You guys lasted longer than Magikarps. But next time dont disturb me while Im enjoying my beer!

He took one more swig of beer and paid the man who was hiding underneath the counter (He got scared of the action). As they left the tavern, a Spearow suddenly dived down and knocked Black Jack down.

Are you Black Jack, the man on his winning streak? said a girly yet focused voice. You cant be a great pokemon trainer if you dont know whats coming at you. Black Jack looked round and spotted Cassandra with the Spearow on her shoulder.

You little brat! Black Jack snarled as he picked himself up. You talk big for a kid. But I wonder if you can battle big as well!
Is that a challenge? Cassandra asked. Consider it accepted. Spearow, if you please

Spearow flew off Cassandras shoulder. Black Jack motioned his head at Feraligatr to go into battle.

Spearow Drill Peck!
Spearow flew like speeding bullet while spinning, aiming its beak at Feraligatr.

Feraligatr! Grab that beak!
Feraligatr grabbed Spearow by the beak. It tried to struggle out of Feraligatrs grasp. You are quick, but Im quicker, said Black Jack with a confident smile.

Cassandra had frustration in her eyes. She had no idea what to do in that situation. Feraligatr! Seismic Toss! Slam it right against that wall!

Feraligatr tossed Spearow like it was a rugby ball. It crash-landed on its back against a wall behind Cassandra. Cassandra became shocked at the fact that her Spearow lost. She then became frustrated. Humph! Spearow return!

Do you have anymore pokemon we can toy with? Black Jack taunted.
Pokemon are not toys for playing about, its about battling, Cassandra replied. And heres something that you dont want to play with. Go, Kirla!

A Kirla popped out of its pokemon. It seemed poised to battle.

Is that the best you got, kid? Black Jack asked, still feeling confident. Ill let you move first.
Your call, Cassandra replied with a smirk. Kirla! Shadow Ball now!

Kirla shot out a huge and fast Shadow Ball. It was coming so fast that Black Jack and Feraligatr didnt have time to react, making Feraligatr get hit by it in the gut.

Feraligatr! Are you okay? Black Jack shouted with worry. Feraligatr nodded while holding his gut.

Not so confident now, are you? Cassandra asked with a smile on her face. They were about to shout another command but a man in a tuxedo ran into the battle scene. Stop! Stop the battle!

Oh no! Cassandra whined. What is it now, Thompson?
Your mother and father requested me to inform you that theyll be home soon, Thompson replied.
Black Jack s******ed. Looks like youll have to go back to mummy and daddy, kid!
Its Cassandra to you, big twerp! she replied with a frustrated look. Kirla, return!

As she turned away from Black Jack, he said, Its Black Jack, not big twerp!

I got to beat that guy, thought Cassandra. Just so I can prove everyone wrong!
That kid fought big alright, when she used that Kirla, thought Black Jack. But she better give me some respect no matter what!

More coming!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Give some comments please!
__________________
Check out this fanfic: Pokemon Impact!
Now a completed fic!

Check out Series 2 of Pokemon Impact!
Now completed!

I'm also a fic reviewer, PM me for a review request

Last edited by Legendary Trainer; May 4th, 2004 at 12:29 AM.
  #2    
Old May 4th, 2004, 12:32 AM
Brian Powell
Have a nice day!
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: At a Starbuck's cafe
Age: 30
Gender:
What? No comments since last Thursday? C'mon, people...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 2

Black Jack was in Petalburg forest just outside Rustboro city. He decided to take a break from his journey for a while as he read a newspaper. He read an article about children refusing to go into the streets, even when their parents were forcing them to. The reason why that is its because theyre afraid to. Black Jack took a swig of beer.

They mustve noticed me around, he sarcastically thought. He puts down his newspaper and sees that Nidoking and Blaziken about to battle as part of their training.

Nidoking ran forward at Blaziken. Blaziken prepared to defend himself. Unexpected, Nidoking turned round to use his tail to smash Blaziken. Luckily, he dodged as he jumped high into the air and dive kicked Nidoking, but he missed as Nidoking dodged the attack. As Blaziken landed, Nidoking ran at Blaziken to give him his Mega Punch attack. When he was about to hit Blaziken, there was a large slamming sound that caught their attention. That noise also caught Black Jacks attention. They decided to go the location where the sound was, hoping to get some action.

Sure enough, and not far away, Cassandra and Seed were battling a Steelix. They were using Kirla and Scizor. The Scizor belonged to Seed and the Kirla belonged to Cassandra. The Steelix was beating both pokemon. Seed and Cassandra shouted out their last attack, hoping that it would knock out the iron snake pokemon.

Scizor! Seed shouted. Metal Claw!

Scizor gathered up his energy.

Kirla! Cassandra shouted. Get ready to use Shadow Ball!

Scizor, attack! Seed commanded.

Scizor flew towards Steelix like a speeding bullet. Now! Cassandra commanded.

Kirla shot out his Shadow Ball. The force of Kirlas Shadow Ball slightly pushed her. The attack inevitably hit Scizor instead of Steelix. Scizor! Seed cried worryingly. Scizor was knocked out by the attack.

Realising this, Seed got Scizor to return back to his pokeball. Return Scizor!

Seed turned to his attention to Cassandra. Cassandra, call back your pokemon! Seed ordered. Your Kirla is not strong enough to fight Steelix.

But Cassandra was too stubborn. She just hates it when people order her around. Kirla! Use your Shadow Ball again!

But Kirla, even though she feels weak, charged up her powers to unleash her ultimate attack. She couldnt charge quickly enough, so Steelix took his chance to hit her hard with an Iron Tail attack knocking her down.

Steelix was about to finish her Kirla off. But suddenly, a Feraligatr dived down to give Steelix a Headbutt attack to distract him, while a red blur dashed towards Kirla and grabs her, it turned out that Blaziken was running towards Kirla faster than a speeding bullet. The Feraligatr and Blaziken belonged to none other than Black Jack. Cassandra turned round and gave Black Jack a rude stare as he walks into the battle scene.

Now for some real training, Black Jack said.
We dont need your help, twerp, Cassandra rudely replied.
Whos helping? I just got bored of my way of training.

Blaziken placed Kirla near Cassandras foot. Kirla was battered and bruised by Steelix, but Cassandra looked at her unemotionally. Black Jack didnt notice as he and Feraligatr prepared themselves to battle Steelix.

Get ready, Feraligatr, Back Jack said.
Ferligatr nodded. Feraligatr

Steelix used its Iron tail to slam on Feraligatrs head, but luckily he dodged it.

Feraligatr! Ice Beam attack! Black Jack commanded.

Feraligatr shot an Ice Beam out of its mouth. The beam did hit Steelix in the face but it didnt have much affect on it. Huh, tough guy, Black Jack said.

Again, Steelix used its Iron Tail. Its about to Iron Tail again! Black Jack warned. Feraligatr! Grab it!

As Steelix swung its tail, Feraligatr grabbed it. Now, Feraligatr! Seismic Toss!

Feraligatr grabbed Steelixs tail with his other hand. No way! thought Seed, thinking that a Feraligatr could never lift a Steelix.

But to his surprise, Feraligatr lifted Steelix up and started swinging it around like a Tornado. Release it! Black Jack commanded. Feraligatr released Steelix and it flew into the air until it was out of sight.

Black Jack disappointedly looked at Cassandra and saw her emotionless face as she stared at her beaten Kirla. Jeez, kid, he said. If you knew you were going to get beaten, you shouldve quitted.

Cassandra rudely stares at him. I dont need your advice, granddad! she replied.
Cassandra! Seed shouted. He then turns to Black Jack. I apologise for my students rude behaviour
Rude?! Cassandra interrupted rudely. Hes the one who interrupted our training!
If he didnt come to save your Kirla from Steelix, she wouldve been killed.

Cassandra looked at her Kirla, who was withering in pain. Return, Kirla, she said as she reached out her pokeball.

Did you learn something, Cassandra? asked Seed.
Yes, sir, Cassandra replied in a defeated yet rude tone.
You may go.

Cassandra walked away, feeling humiliated. Next time, I train alone, she thought.

At nighttime, Black Jack and Seed sat round a campfire. Black Jack was drinking some beer while Seed sat across the campfire.

What a day, Black Jack said. And I am not talking about battling that Steelix.
I agree, Seed replied, knowing whom Black Jack was referring to.

Seed couldnt help being concerned, seeing Black Jack drinking a lot of beer as he had noticed five empty bottles was on the floor.

How can you drink so much? Seed asked.
Whats wrong with beer? Black Jack replied.
Dont you ever get drunk?
Not once. Surprised?
Indeed.

Black Jack finished off another bottle of beer and tossed it aside. Theres this one question I wanna ask, he said.
Fire away, said Seed.
Whats up with the kid youre teaching?
Its her parents most of the time, theyre away on business, leaving her with her butler, Thompson. Before she became a trainer, she used to get picked on most of the time. This made her feel lonely.

When Cassandra reached the age of ten, her father hired me to be her teacher, teaching her about pokemon battles. Thats when she became arrogant, stubborn and rude, not to mention tough. Ever since then everyone in school feared her. Now, she is obsessed thinking about being the greatest trainer of all time.

Black Jack began to think about Cassandras recent actions. She doesnt show any respect for her pokemon, her theories about being a trainer were way wrong and the way she claims that she is the ultimate trainer when shes not.

Seed stood up. I must leave now. You should get some rest too.
Ill be fine here, Black Jack replied. See ya.
Until then.

Seed leaped up high in the air and far into the distance, leaving Black Jack to think even more.

Meanwhile, back at Cassandras house, Cassandra was in her bedroom looking at a pokeball shes holding. She threw a pokeball and out popped her Kirla. Cassandra looked at her nastily.

Kirla, you are supposed to be the most powerful of the team and you got beaten by some big no-brained snake?

Kirla looked down in shame, feeling bad about it. But Cassandra thought of something. What if it was Seed or Black Jacks fault of Kirlas loss?

Tomorrow afternoon, Cassandra said. Well be going into Petalburg Forest. We mustnt let Seed know about this or else hell be giving us those boring lectures again. And this time, youll win against any pokemon you face without anyones help!

Kirla raised her head with excitement. She nodded with determination, knowing that she must win to make her master proud.

The next day, Seed was meditating on a beach in route 115 near Rustboro, waiting for Cassandra to arrive. He has been waiting for a long time. Where could she be? he thought. I specifically told her to meet me here for her lesson.

Cassandra was down at Petalburg Forest with Kirla, waiting for any pokemon popping to challenge them. They have been waiting for an hour as well but for different reasons.

Kirla, kirl? Kirla asked.
Not yet, Cassandra replied. I know that we have been waiting for an hour. But were not leaving until we have found a pokemon to challenge us.

Suddenly, two Ariados jumped out of the tree branches in front of them. Cassandra sends Kirla out into battle.

The Ariados began to strike at Kirla, but she dodged the double attack as she jumped. While airborne, she used a Psychic attack at one of them, but the other one jumped in front her and gave her a tackle attack. Kirla fell flat on her back, but quickly picked herself up momentarily dazed.

The Aridos prepared again to double team on Kirla. They both spat out their Spider Web at Kirla making her immobile. Cassandra looked at Kirla with frustration. The ariados went for a double tackle attack on Kirla, but Cassandra dived and saved her from getting hit.

Cassandra got a sad and worried look on her face. Kirla, are you okay?
Kirla nodded.

Cassandra had tears in her eyes. Kirla Im sorry

The ariados interrupted Cassandra by shooting their webbing at her.

Kirla warned Cassandra to get out of the way. But it was too late, as the webbing caught her. At that moment, it was almost impossible to move. Cassandra noticed that Ariados has got sharp jaws.

Both Aridos leapt to give Cassandra their Poison Fang attack. But Kirla, with the fight left within her, leapt in the way, getting herself caught in their attack.

Seeing her Kirla getting hurt, tears were running down Cassandras face used all her strength to escape the webbing.

Cassandra ran to Kirlas aid. The ariados cautiously jumped out of the way.

Kirla was badly injured, almost unable to move. It looked as though Kirla was near death. Cassandra couldnt believe what she did.

Kirla, Cassandra cried quietly. What have I done to you?
Kirla Kirla whispered. Kirla kirl
Kirla please dont die, Cassandra begged. I didnt mean to put you through such pain I I only wanted to show the others how tough you are and Im sorry Kirla Kirla?

Kirla became motionless.

I cant feel you anymore, Kirla Cassandra said emotionally. No No KIRLAAAAAAA!

A teardrop from Cassandras eyes fell on Kirlas face. Suddenly, Kirla started to evolve into Gardevior! It looked like that she has fully recovered, thanks to the evolution.

The two Ariados became shocked and scared. Cassandra had a surprised look on her face.

Kirla? Cassandra asked.
Gardevior Gardevior replied.
Gardvior, Im sorry can you forgive me?

Gardevior nodded and her attention to the two ariados. They tried to run away, but she used her Psychic ability to throw them into the sky until theyre out of sight.

Gardevior turned and looked at Cassandra. She quickly flew over to Cassandra and hugged her.

Gardevior! Gardevior yelled with excitement.
Gardevior, I Cassandra said while blushing.
Gardevior
Do you want to go home?

Gardevior nodded. As they walked out of the forest, Cassandra said, Gardevior, can I ask you something?
Gard?
Dont tell anyone what happened. Ill lose my reputation.

Gardevior nodded. But unnoticed, two men were hiding behind some trees spying on them. It turns out that it was Seed and Black Jack.

I knew that kid had a soft side, Black Jack said.

-----------------------------------------------------------

More coming...

What do you people think now?
__________________
Check out this fanfic: Pokemon Impact!
Now a completed fic!

Check out Series 2 of Pokemon Impact!
Now completed!

I'm also a fic reviewer, PM me for a review request

Last edited by Legendary Trainer; May 4th, 2004 at 04:31 AM.
  #3    
Old May 4th, 2004, 05:54 AM
dqle's Avatar
dqle
Gym Leader
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Millennium Town (more like a city now)
Age: 27
Gender:
Nature: Brave
Geez, guys. If someone posts something, you should at least post back with some comments, especially after you read it!!!

It's a little different than most fanfic's I've read (a bit more on the adult side), but nevertheless, it's not bad at all! I have my doubts about the beer... but the battle scenes were most impressive! Keep the ball rolling.
__________________
In the morning when you wake up, Open your eyes to a new day.
Look around at the gifts you've got. You've been so lucky along the way.
Time to finish what you've begun. Have the faith, you're the one.
Throw your hat high - up to the sun.

Now you face your greatest test. Use the lessons that you've learned.
Your goal is to be the best, And claim the prize that you've earned.
Ever since you were a young man, You've kept your eye on the master plan.
To reach for the top - and touch the sky.

It's your destiny,
To spread your wings and fly.


Pokémon: 2.B.A. Master - You Can Do It (If You Really Try)
  #4    
Old May 6th, 2004, 12:27 AM
Brian Powell
Have a nice day!
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: At a Starbuck's cafe
Age: 30
Gender:
To dgle: Yeah... sorry, but I never knew that this beer thing would be offensive to some of the readers. Maybe next time I should warn people about "Adult stuff". This chapter does contain a little bit of blood and a little bit of cursing.

Anyways...

Part 3

A kid was walking in a dark alley. It was nighttime. The kid was wearing a white shirt and black shorts, he had black hair and red trainers, and he was also carrying groceries. The dark alley had a lot of garbage against the walls of the buildings. Suddenly a pair of hands came out of the shadows and grabbed the kid from behind. The kid tried to scream for help but one of the hands that were coming out of the shadows was covering his mouth to prevent him from screaming.

The next day, at the Pokemon School in Rustboro, Cassandra was walking to her classroom when the bell rang. Arrived in a nick of time, she thought.

As she walked into her classroom, she noticed that some children were missing from their desk. Strange, she thought. The guys havent been coming here recently.

I should investigate this after school, in case new challenges come to me, she thought to herself as sat at her desk. Ill finally show Seed and the twerp who should gain respect around here.

Meanwhile, Black Jack was sitting on a bench in a park reading another newspaper and its saying the same news he read during the previous time. Only this time, the number of scared children is growing. He began noticing that there arent many people in the streets. He also spotted a couple of familiar faces he met in a tavern the other day.

He was starting to get suspicious about the situation, so he got on his motorbike and drove around Rustboro city to investigate.

After school, Cassandra immediately set off to investigate. Her first plan is to visit her classmates that didnt come to school. During her investigations at her classmates, they wouldnt tell her anything in case they may come back to hurt them again, but they warned her not to go into the streets.

Cassandras first plan of investigation didnt work. Drat! she first thought. But wait. The streets! If I hang around here, someone is bound to found me. Then Ill prove everyone wrong!

That night, Cassandra stood in front of the shadows of an alleyway. Suddenly a pair of hands grabbed her from behind and pulled her into the alleyway. Cassandra tried to scream but her mouth was covered.

Meanwhile, Black Jack rode around Rustboro city all day for clues about why the streets are becoming almost empty. He was getting more impatient and more suspicious. He stopped his bike, thinking where to go next. Suddenly he heard a scream. He had a suspicion that that scream belonged to Cassandra. He rode his bike to that screams location.

Back at Cassandras location, Cassandra was scared stiff on her own two feet, while her Gardevior was getting battered and bruised. On the other side of the alleyway was nothing but shadows.

Snaezel! Fury Cutter now! commanded a man with croaky and nasty voice. He was standing behind the shadows.

Cassandra was too scared to give another command. Snaezel dashed out of the shadows and used Fury Cutter on Gardeviors face. After seeing that Cassandra became shocked.

Gardevior covered her face with both her paws, whimpering in pain. Cassandra ran to Gardevior, knowing that she lost.

Gardevior Cassandra said with a quivering voice.

Thats right! the man taunted. Run to your pitiful creature while you admit defeat!

Gardevior showed her face to Cassandra and it turns out that she was bleeding! Gardevior! Cassandra cried. She grabbed a handkerchief from her pocket and placed it on Gardeviors face.

Did you really think that you can become the ultimate Pokemon master? the man asked. I didnt think so, since there are no other masters but the members of Team Rocket and the Rocket Revengers!

That includes me as well, right? asked a deep and familiar voice. It turns out it was Black Jack as he comes into the dark alleyway. I guess not, since I left Team Rocket ages ago!

You? You used to be a member of Team Rocket? Cassandra asked How?
Long story, and I have my reasons why I left, Black Jack replied. Then he turns his attentions to the shadows that hide the mysterious trainer.

Spill! Who are you? Black Jack demanded.
They call me Stalker, one of the Rocket Revengers! the man replied as he walks out of the shadows. He had punk like clothes and spikey hair and had tattoos on his face, arms and all. And I know who you are! Youre the man that beaten up the Rocket Revengers. How dare you lay a finger on them!
Self-defence! They were coming on to me!
We have the right! The Rocket Revengers can do what we want, when we want! Since you hurt us, youre gonna pay! And Ill have the honour of dismantling you and your pokemon.
Is that a challenge? Cos I just heard a ding in my ears, saying that its time to smash some heads, mainly yours.
You will suffer like that little girl did! Snaezel!

Snaezel leapt out of the shadows as he prepares himself for battle. Black Jack took a pokeball from his belt. Go! Blaziken!

Blaziken popped out of his pokeball. Black Jack studied the type advantages of both Snaezel and Blaziken. Snaezel has both Ice and Dark types, while Blaziken has Fire and Fighting type, Black Jack thought to himself. That means Snaezel wouldnt stand a chance. And I can guess what Stalkers strategy is.

Stalker yelled out his first command. Snaezel, jump into the shadows!

Snaezel did as what he was told as he jumped into the shadows. Blaziken and Black Jack confidently stood their ground.

So, Black Jack! Scared already? Stalker taunted.
I wouldnt say scared, Stalker. Im just looking forward to something, Black Jack replied.
Hahaha! You can only forward to your defeat! I can feel that inside you that youre afraid of the dark!
Im thinking quite the opposite, Boogerman.
Boogerman? No one calls me that!
Why not? It suits you. Since your gang pick on young kids in the dark, I bet that you guys wouldnt face a harmless kid face-to-face!
Youre talking nonsense!
Humph! Whatever you like my theory or not, were in a middle of a battle. So shout out youre next command. That is, if youre not scared.

What is Black Jack up to? Cassandra asked to herself.
Hes using Stalkers strategy against him, Seed replied as he walks into the scene. I hope youre learning something from him.

Me? Scared? Stalker thought. I do know that most of Snaezels attacks are weak against Blazikens defence stats, but Im using a strategy that no one can defeat!

Snaezel! Stalker shouted. Jump Kick attack now!

Black Jack and Blazikens eyes moved slightly to the left, where the shadows are and both of them nodded slightly. Snaezel leaped out the shadows and tried to leap kick Blaziken on the side of the face, but missed when Blaziken leaned his head backwards.

What? Stalker shouted shockingly. How can this be?

I knew that you would get Snaezel to hide in the shadows, Black Jack replied. Punk kids like you always jump on another guy from behind.

Stalker growled with frustration. Im gonna knock you out! he shouted.

Fine, Black Jack confidently replied. He and Blaziken looked at each other and they both nodded. How about this then. Ill give you up to five commands and Blaziken will not fight back.

What is he planning? Stalker thought. Is he trying to insult me again?

Whats it going to be? Black Jack asked.
Fine, but my first three will beat your Blaziken and you, Stalker replied. Snaezel! Double Team!

Soon, there were multiples of Snaezel surrounding Blaziken. Four commands to go, Black Jack warned.

Stalkers sweat was beginning to show. Snaezel! Barrier!

Snaezel created a shield around the multiples of himself. Stalker knows that using Barrier would the defence stats of his Snaezel. Three commands left, Black Jack warned. Three more attacks until Blaziken rip your Snaezel apart.

Impossible! Stalker thought. Black Jack shouldve been scared stiff by now! Why is he so confident? I must beat this guy!

Snaezel! Slash attack now! Stalker commanded.

Snaezel leapt forward to give Blaziken a Slash attack, but Blaziken dodged out of the way. Snaezel lost his balance in mid-air and landed on his front body. Snaezel struggled to get to his feet. Two attacks left, Black Jack warned. And you said itll only take three attacks to take Blaziken down.

Stalker growled with frustration again. Ill get Snaezel to boost up his defence again, just in case, he thought Blaziken wouldnt have the strength to break through Snaezels barrier.

Snaezel! Stalker shouted. Use your barrier again.
Again? Black Jack asked.

Snaezel boosted up his defence stats again.

Now! Stalker shouted. Slash attack!

Snaezel leaped into the air. Youre five commands are up! Black Jack shouted. Blaziken! Detect and Counter!

Blaziken raised his paw and grabbed Snaezels claw before it reached him. Blaziken then threw Snaezel away. He landed on his back. While he struggled to his feet, Stalker had a shocked look on his face, as he couldnt believe that all that five commands gave him nothing but more frustration.

Blaziken! Brick Break! Black Jack commanded.

Blaziken was too quick for Stalker and Snaezel to respond and he ran at Snaezel to smash through the barriers that Snaezel created, giving damage to Snaezel. Snaezel struggled to get to his feet again.

As he lifted up his head, he sees Blaziken giving him a Blaze Kick in the face, knocking him out.

Does this mean? Cassandra asked.
Yes, Black Jack won, Seed replied.

Black Jack gave a small confident laugh. And I only took you down in three commands.

Stalker angrily looked at Black Jack. I Ill kill you!

Stalker took out a knife out his pocket and charged at Black Jack. Stalker swiped his knife around at Black Jack but kept on missing. Black Jack grabbed him and threw him at the nearby trashcans. He walked over to Stalker and lifted him by the collar of his shirt.

If I hear that you pick on those little kids again Ill be back to get you, Black Jack nastily warned as he dropped Stalker down.

Black Jack walked over to Cassandra. Want me to take you home? he asked. Your parents are waiting.

Cassandra nodded, feeling a little ashamed for herself. Okay, she said. But first, I have to put Gardevior in the pokemon center.

As they drove back to Cassandras house, Cassandra got off Black Jacks bike. Black Jack, can I ask you something? She asked.
Sure, kid, Black Jack replied.
Do you think that Im a loser?
Yep, everyone loses at some level.
You as well?
Nope. Not ever.

Black Jack was about to leave with his motorcycle, but Cassandra stopped him. Black Jack! Wait! Cassandra called. Thanks for helping me out back there.
No problem.
But because of what happened from our battle, it didnt come out right for either of us.
True, kid.
When we battle each other again, well fight to our strongest. Deal?
Black Jack laughed a little and replied. Deal.

There was no need to shake hands, as they knew that they would face each other in future. She better improve, Black Jack thought to himself. Or else, there would be **** to pay.
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  #5    
Old May 6th, 2004, 07:06 AM
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Mr Cat Dog
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Well, the plot's certinly different. The length is also good as well. There are two main concerns I have with this fic though:

1) Present and Past tense mix ups. Are you writing in the present or the past? It's hard to tell because you keep shifting around so much. It's best to change it to past, as that gives the reader a sense of that the event has already happened.

2) Description. Where was it? You described the characters pretty well, but I couldn't picture anything else.

Apart from minor grammar mistakes, the rest of the fic was fine. The characters stayed in character, and it's nice to see a Pokemon like Feraligatr in a fic. If you improve on the things above, this fic could go far.
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Old May 10th, 2004, 08:06 AM
Brian Powell
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To Mr. Cat Dog: Thanks for the comments bud. I have to confess that I sometimes overlook things. I do a lot of thinking in pictures, not in words. But one question what part of description do you mean?

Anyways, here's another chapter...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 4

It was nighttime. A man in punks clothing was leaning against a wall reading a newspaper in a crowded street. He was reading the news that Black Jack defeated a Rocket Revenger, meaning that the children will have nothing to fear from them anymore. A vain was throbbing in his head as he scrunched up the newspaper. Ill show you, he growled.

The next morning, all of the pupils were going back to the Pokemon School, knowing that they have nothing to worry about the Rocket Revengers anymore.

At break time, Cassandra was put on pokemon care duty. She was feeding, cleaning and caring the pokemon that her class is currently studying on. Normally, she refuses to do it, but after the other night, when a Rocket Revenger named Stalker and his Snaezel beat her Gardevior, she realised how much her pokemon loved her trainer. This morning, before she arrived at school, she collected her Gardevior from the pokemon center, only to discover that Gardevior had a permanent scar on her face.

If the Rocket Revengers appear in my life again, she thought to herself. I mustnt let them or any of my fears get to me.

Suddenly, she heard a lot of her classmates screaming. Then she heard a mans voice. Take them outside! he shouted. She hurried outside to see what was going on. She noticed that people in punk like clothing were holding her classmates hostages. That kid lover, Black Jack should come be here to save these kids! said of the punks. When he does, boys, well have a little surprise for him and I know that WE will like it! Hehe!

Rocket Revengers! she whispered to herself. She then hurried to another exit but spotted the other Revengers inside the school. She quickly hid herself and then looked around to see if they were still there. When the coast was cleared she hurried to the nearest exit.

As she made her way out unnoticed, the police had already arrived on the scene. A woman in police-clothing grab held of a megaphone and spoke into it.

Rocket Revengers! she yelled. You are all under arrest! Lie down on the floor and place hands on the back of your head! Slowly!
Forget you! shouted one of the Revengers in reply. Were not going anywhere until we get Black Jack!
Why do you want him? the officer asked.
None of your business! The Revenger shouted back. Just give us Black Jack and well show the whole world why Team Rocket and the Revengers arent the teams to be messed around with!

The officer had no idea what to do next.

Alright then! the Revenger shouted. He picked up one of the school children and held a knife near his neck. If we dont see Black Jack in ten minutes, Ill slit the kids neck off!

The officer realised that they had no choice but to get Black Jack. Some of the officers were sent off to look for him.

Meanwhile, Black Jack was walking out of the local tavern finishing off another bottle of beer. Great, he thought to himself. Not a Rocket Revenger to spoil my beer.

He was about set off on his motorcycle and leave Rustboro City, when a familiar voice was heard. Black Jack!

Black Jack turned round and saw Cassandra coming his way. She stopped to breathe quite heavily. Kid! Black Jack said. Why arent you at school?
The Rocket Revengers, Cassandra replied while panting. Theyre back!
Cant get enough of me, can they, Black Jack said stressfully. Get on!

Cassandra hopped on Black Jacks motorbike and they drove off into the schools direction.

Back at school, the Rocket Revengers were getting impatient. Times running out! warned one of the Revengers. The officers hoped and hoped that Black Jack would arrive soon.

Times up! shouted the Revenger as he was a bout to slit the childs throat but was interrupted when a voice was heard. Hold it right there!

It was Black Jack and Cassandra driving into the scene. Black Jack immediately stopped his motorcycle as soon as it was in front of one of the police cars. Black Jack and Cassandra walked passed the police cars.

Im here now! Black Jack said. Leave those kids out of this!
Not just yet! said the Revenger, still holding the child and the knife. You may have beaten one of our strongest members, Stalker. But you havent faced the likes of me yet!
And you are?
My name is Shadowman! Leader of the Rocket Revengers! And I have a little surprise for you!
Let me guess! Youre gonna have youre cronies gang up on me again? What are you afraid of, Shadowman?
I fear nothing! And neither do we! Lets get em boys!

All of the Rocket Revengers sent out various kinds of pokemon. Im guessing that theyre poorly trained, Black Jack said with criticism.

All of his pokemon popped out their pokeballs, ready for another good battle! Come on! shouted Black Jack. His pokemon yelled out their battle cries in response as they and Black Jack charged into battle.

Black Jack was fighting against all the members of the Rocket Revengers. His pokemon were fighting against all the pokemon that were sent out by the Revengers.

Black Jack was pummelling another member of Revengers, but another Revenger was creeping on him with an empty bottle in hand. Suddenly a Spearow dived down and hit him in the back of the head, knocking him out. Black Jack heard the impact and turned round to see a Spearow helping him out, but it wasnt the only one helping. A scarred Gardevior, a Spearow, an Absol, a Magneton, a Trapinch, and a Treecko were also helping him. They happen to be Cassandras pokemon. Black Jack looked at Cassandra and smiled as he gave a thumbs up.

Soon, almost all members and pokemon of the Rocket Revengers were knocked out. But there was one more member standing Shadowman!

Getting nervous now, Shadowman? Black Jack arrogantly asked.
Annoying prick! Shadowman taunted. If youre so tough, why did you get help from your pokemon?
I wouldve taken you all down myself. But my pokemon felt that they needed a little exercise, plus they love a good fight when they hear one.
You insignificant creep! Battle me! Now!
Nah! Not this time!
What!

Black Jack looked at Cassandra with confidents. Cassandra can battle you instead.

Cassandra also gave a confident smile. Thank you, Black Jack, she replied. Then she gave Shadowman a nasty look.

Shadowman s******ed. Cmon then! he sneered. Lets make this a one-on-one so I can finish you off quickly.
As you wish, Cassandra replied.

Cassandra sent Gardevior out to battle. Shadowman laughed out like a maniac. Go, Sableye! he shouted as he sent out his pokemon.

Gardevior! Cassandra ordered. Psychic attack!

Gardevior shot out a Psychic blast, but it went passed Sableye.

What? Cassandra said in shock. But why?
Youre mind is too slow, kid! Shadowman said. Didnt you know Sableye has qualities of both Dark and Ghost pokemon!
Cassandras at the disadvantage, thought Black Jack. Dark and Ghost type pokemon can be tricky for an average Psychic pokemon.
Do you still think you can defeat me, you pathetic little girl? Shadowman taunted. Admit defeat!
No way, Shadowman! Cassandra replied. After what you did, I will never surrender to you!
There goes that ego again, Black Jack thought. But she also needs a little bit of strategy in this one.

Now, Sableye! Shadowman ordered. Headbutt attack!

Sableye launched himself and aimed his head at Gardeviors scarred face. Sableye was too fast for her to dodge. When she got hit in the face, she staggered backwards holding the scarred part.

Cassandra noticed Gardeviors agonising pain on that face and but still had determined look in her eyes.

Throughout the match, Shadowman and his Sableye have been dominating against Cassandra and her Gardevior, using a lot of underhanded tactics. But even in the jaws of defeat, neither Cassandra nor Gardevior would quit. Shadowman was getting frustrated.

Give up, you fool! Shadowman shouted. Were cracking you like eggs!
Youd like me to crack, wouldnt you? Cassandra replied. Worked on me before but never again.
Well see about that! Shadowman taunted. Sableye! Finish that brat off with your Faint attack!

Gardevior, battered and bruised, stood up. Suddenly her vision became dark and blurry, caused by Sableyes Faint Attack.

Gardevior! Cassandra yelled. Foresight now!

Gardevior used Foresight to see through the darkness. The next thing she saw was Sableye coming straight at her; she dodged the attack a split second before he reached her.

What! Shadowman yelled. How can this be? Faint attack never misses.
Not everything goes by the book, Black Jack replied with a smirk.

Shadowman snarled. Sableye! Attack Gardevior again!

Sableye jumped to attack Gardevior.

Gardevior! Grab him! Cassandra ordered.

Gardevior grabbed him and held him tightly. This cant be! Shadowman shouted in denial. Sableyes a ghost pokemon, how the heck did Gardevior managed to grab him?
Gardevior used Foresight, remember? Black Jack replied. Throughout the match, you kept on ordering Sableye to beat Gardevior while she trying to get up. Not only you are a coward, you are a no-brainer as well.
Now, one more attack will finish this thing off! Cassandra said.
WHAT? Shadowman yelled in shock.
Gardevior! Thunder attack!

Gardevior yelled out a cry and the clouds were about to darken.

No! Shadowman begged. Dont! Wait a minute!
Did I hear Shadowman begging? Black Jack thought to himself while smirking.

Gardevior screamed even louder and a huge strike of lightning struck down on both of them. The lightning was so bright that everyone had to cover their eyes, except Black Jack who was wearing sunglasses.

After the lightning was gone, everyone looked back at the battle scene. Sableye and Gardevior were lying on the floor, battered and bruised. Everyone thought that were both knocked out, but Gardevior slowly picked herself up while Sableye still laid there.

Looks like we have a winner, Black Jack said.

Cassandra rushed over to Gardevior to give her a heart-warming hug. Gardevior! You did it! she cried.

Gardeviors body was in pain but she didnt care, because the only thing that can never be hurt was her spirit and heart.

Shadowman just couldnt believe it, him, losing to a little girl. No one has ever beaten me he growled. He then looked at Cassandra and her Gardevior.

In the name of Team Rocket and the Rocket Revengers he snarled. ILL KILL ALL OF YOU!

He took out knife and ran to stab Gardevior with it, but Cassandra rushed right in front of her to protect her. Just before the knife reached her, a large sole of a boot was coming directly at Shadowmans face!

It was Black Jack! He performed a jump kick at Shadowman. Shadowman quickly picked himself and desperately tried to run away but was caught by the police.

Shadowman and his cronies were handcuffed and got placed inside police vans. Ill get you one day, Black Jack! he shouted. Those jail cells wont keep me in forever, you know!

I look forward to it, Black Jack said to himself in response.

Suddenly a limo came by. A girl just above Cassandras height and age came out of the back of the limo. She was wearing typical schoolgirl clothing. Whats going one here, Cassandra? she asked.

Everythings okay now, Roxanne, Cassandra replied. We finally got rid of the Rocket Revengers.
Them again? Roxanne asked. Good thing theyre placed behind bars now, eh?
Actually, it was you who got rid of those guys, Black Jack said to Cassandra. The police and I were just helping out.
Ah, Black Jack, Roxanne said. The man on his non-stop winning streak. Did you say that Cassandra defeated them?
She defeated the leader, Black Jack replied. Just like that, he continued while snapping his fingers.
Im impressed, Roxanne said. And I apologise for being away for so long.
What do you do anyway?
Im the gym leader of the Rustboro City Gym. I have been away a lot recently on business.
So if youre away a lot, whos been taking over?

Roxanne looked at Cassandra. No one, she replied. But after what Cassandra has done, Im placing her as vice-gym leader.

Cassandra became excited about this opportunity. Roxanne, thank you.

Black Jack smiled as he checked his watch. Well, looks like Ill be off then, he said. It was fun while it lasted.

He was about to take off on his motorcycle but Cassandra stopped him. Hey! Wait!

Black Jack turned to Cassandras attention. How about you battle me for the badge? she asked.
Now? Black Jack asked in replied.
We havent finished our match yet. And if you beat me, Ill give you the badge.

Black Jack knew about the rules of the Hoenn League. In order to enter, he must defeat eight gym leaders and claim their badges. In the past, he already won a few badges here and there, although thats what he claimes.

Alright then, Black Jack replied with a nasty smile. I accept.
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  #7    
Old May 10th, 2004, 09:31 AM
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Mr Cat Dog
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Well, that chapter was a lot better. The plot itself delt a little more fluid, and we are starting to see the mortality of the Rocket Avengers, even if we aren't seeing their motives. Yep, and the desciription is improving too. Keep up the good work... :D

~ MCD
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  #8    
Old May 12th, 2004, 03:26 AM
Brian Powell
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To MCD: Thanks for your comments again. Although you did mention that people didn't see their motives. Their motives were described since chapter one of this episode / thread. Thanks anyway.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 5

Five hours later after visiting the pokemon center to get their pokemon healed, Black Jack and the vice-gym leader Cassandra went to the Rustboro City gym. Inside the gym, a large number of audience members, mostly children, gave a cheer when the two trainers came out together. Roxanne was part of the audience as well.

So, Black Jack, Cassandra said. Are you ready for this?
I think you already know the answer, Black Jack replied. How many pokemon well be using?
Three-on-three will be fine.
Alright then.

I wish Seed was here to see this, hed enjoy watching this, Cassandra sadly thought. But she spotted Seed as part of the audience. Seed gave her nod, motioning that he is very proud of her. Cassandra smiled back in response.

Ill pick first, Black Jack said. Go Metagross!

Metagross popped out of his pokeball and yelled out his battlecry.

A Metagross? I never seen that pokemon before, Cassandra said.
Why am I not surprised? Black Jack asked. Even Gym leaders have things to learn, even when theyre the best ones.
Hmm, I must choose carefully, thought Cassandra.
Come on, Black Jack said. Choose one your pokemon.
Magneton! Cassandra yelled. I choose you!

Magneton popped out of its pokeball.

Magneton! Attack! Cassandra ordered. Thunderbolt!
Metagross! Psybeam attack! Black Jack ordered.

Magneton began to gather up electrical surges in each part of its tri-metallic body. When it knew that it had stored maximum capacity, it unleashed them in a great Thunderbolt attack that headed straight for the opponent Metagross. Metagross shot out two strong Psybeams out of his eyes. One of Metagross psybeams collided with Magnetons Thunderbolt while the other hit Magneton!

Magenton shook away the dizziness that it took from Metagross psybeam. Magenton, Cassandra called. Are you okay?

Magneton nodded in reply. Okay, Cassandra thought. I must try something else.

Magenton, Cassandra yelled out. Tackle attack!

Magneton flew down at Metagross, but neither Black Jack nor Metagross was responding to that attack.

Magneton rammed into Metagross, but to everyones surprise, neither of them was fazed or hurt.

So, Metagross a steel type as well, Cassandra thought. I got to think of another strategy in order to win.

Metagross! Black Jack shouted. Tackle attack!

Metagross leapt into the air and gave Magenton a tackle attack, only its more powerful than Magentons. Magneton fell to the floor hard, but its still able to battle after it quickly picked itself up.

Metagross! Black Jack shouted. Tackle again!

Magenton! Use Thunderbolt! Cassandra commanded.

Magneton used Thunderbolt on Metagross and it took damage. But that didnt stop Metagross from Tackling Magneton about. Now, Metagross! Black Jack commanded as Magenton was knocked down. Stomp it now!

Magneton lifted up one of its front leg sand stomped Magneton through the ground, knocking it out. Cassandra became shocked of what she saw. She called back her defeated Pokemon. Its okay, she said. You did youre best.

She picked out another pokeball. Go, Absol!

Absol came out of her. An Absol? Black Jack asked. Why use that?

Absol! Cassandra shouted. Flamethrower attack!

Absol shot out her flamethrower. The attack was too quick for both Metagross and Black Jack to react as it hit Metagross, knocking him out.

Shoot! said Black Jack, cursing himself for underestimating Absol. He called back his pokemon. Nicely done, Black Jack said. Not only that were even here, but you took out one of my best pokemon as well.

Black Jack picked out another pokeball. Go! Salamence!

Salamence gave out a loud roar, as it prepared itself for battle. Salamence! Black Jack shouted. Fly attack!

Salamence flew high up in the air and then dived down at Absol. Luckily, she jumped out of the way. Good dodging, Absol, Cassandra said. Tackle it back!

Absol leapt into the air and hit Salamence with her Tackle attack. Nice move, Black Jack thought. Even though shes a kid, she battles like a pro. But she still has a long way to go to beat me.

Absol and Salamence kept on exchanging blows on their trainers commands. Both pokemon became spent as they breathed heavily.

Its nearly out, Absol! Cassandra shouted. Finish him off with Sword Dance and Take Down attack!

Absol spun around to perform its sword dance and then ran at Salamence. He and Black Jack stood their ground, waiting for Absol to hit the move.

You got them now! Cassandra shouted.
Salamence! Counter now! Black Jack commanded.

Salamence lifted up his front legs, grabbed Absol and quickly, using Absols strength speed and strength against her, threw her over his head! Absol landed on her back.

I never seen that before, Seed said in amazement.
How did he do that? Cassandra asked herself aloud.
Im no magician, Black Jack replied. But I never reveal my secrets. Now Salamence! Hyper Beam attack!

Salamence quickly shot out a powerful Hyper Beam at the weakened Absol, knocking her out. She was no longer able to battle. Cassandra called her pokemon back and sent out her Gardevior.

Hmm Black Jack murmured. Salamence return. Youre doing good, take a breather.

Salamence returned to its pokeball. Nidoking! Black Jack shouted. Your turn.

Nidoking popped out of his pokeball and gave a loud roar. Both pokemon stood tall for battle. Why would Black Jack use Nidoking? Cassandra thought. He should know that a poison type like Nidoking wouldnt stand up against Psychic attacks.

Nidoking, Black Jack shouted. Tackle attack!

Nidoking charged at Gardevior, but she countered it by using her Psychic blast, which blew Nidoking away. Normally, an average poison type would give up against Psychic types, Black Jack. But Nidoking is an exception. Hes as tough as I am.

From that point on, each time Nidoking used any attack, Gardevior keeps on countering that move with psychic attacks. And each time Nidoking gets hit, he just getting back up. And Black Jack was still confident about the situation.

Whats going on? Cassandra thought. Nidoking shouldve been down and out by now.

Nidoking was being battered, bruised and weakened, but he just wont stay down. Suddenly, Black Jack felt that anger ignited inside Nidoking as he gave a loud roar. Youre in for it now, kid! Black Jack warned. Nidoking! Rage and Thrash attack now!

Gardevior! Cassandra shouted. Psychic attack.

Gardevior used her Psychic attack to hurt Nidoking, but he never felt Gardeviors attack as he ran and tackled her like a madman. When she got caught, he started pummelling her like a punching bag, ending the attack by giving her Mega Punch to finish her off. GARDEVIOR! NO! Cassandra cried as she saw Nidoking giving Gardevior one heavy punch to the face.

As Gardevior lay there, everyone thought that she was defeated. To everyones shock, Gardevior slowly picked herself up. Even Black Jack was shocked.

Nidoking! Black Jack shouted. Grab Gardeviors neck.
Gardevior! Cassandra warned as Nidoking was walking up to Gardevior. Look out!

But Gardevior was too dizzy to concentrate as she turned round, only to get caught in the neck by Nidokings claws. Slam her now! Black Jack ordered.

Nidoking, still having the anger inside him, slammed her. The impact was so hard that it sounded like a huge rock breaking into pieces.

Gardevior, feeling rather weak, feeling that every part of her body was killing her, still wouldnt quit as she slowly picked herself up again. Seeing that, everyone was shocked. Not wanting to see her Gardevior get hurt anymore, Cassandra ran to protect her from Nidoking. Enough! she yelled. I surrender

Thats enough now, Nidoking, Black Jack said. He then turns to Cassandra. Nice timing, kid. Youre not a bad trainer after all.
Youve beaten me, Black Jack, Cassandra said in a defeated tone. She turns to the audience. Im sorry everybody

But, apart from getting boos, the audience gave a standing ovation to both Black Jack and Cassandra. They like you, kid, Black Jack said.

Roxanne and a man in blue jeans and green jacket, whom Black Jack and Cassandra knew it was Seed (He must've quickly changed clothes), came down to the battlefield and congratulated the two trainers. Even though a loss is a loss, Roxanne said. You battle very well, and Im very proud of you.
Same as I, Seed replied. Black Jack was trying to show you that everyone needs compassion for their pokemon. He also helped you show everyone that youre not a bad person anymore.
Actually, Black Jack replied. We were finishing off what we started the other day. And judging from your Gardeviors face, Cassandra, this battle has not ended yet. Might as well leave it for another time.

Black Jack called back his Nidoking and congratulated it. He was about to leave the gym, but Cassandra called him back. Wait, Black Jack. What about the badge?

She showed him the Stone Badge. If you take this, she said. Youll need to get seven more to get into the Hoenn League.
But Ive already got eight different Hoenn League gym badges, Black Jack. A long time ago.
Take it, a badge is a badge. Just a reminder of our battle.
Okay.

Black Jack took the Stone badge and was about to leave but Cassandra stopped him again. Black Jack!
Yeah? Black Jack replied.
Dont tell Gardevior about it. Shell get mad at me.

Black Jack gave a small laugh as he left the Rustboro gym and the city itself.

END
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next Episode: Black Jack meets up with an old acquaintance since his days as a Team Rocket grunt... but it's not Giovanni...

Click here for episode 4: Mewtwo's challenge
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Last edited by Legendary Trainer; June 2nd, 2004 at 12:39 AM.
  #9    
Old May 12th, 2004, 07:11 AM
Mr Cat Dog's Avatar
Mr Cat Dog
Everything Will Be OK
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London, UK
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
I liked the battle, although a bit more description could have been put into the actual attacks. Instead of saying:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Legendary Trainer
Magneton shot out a Thunderbolt
You could have said:

Magneton began to gather up electrical surges in each part of its tri-metallic body. When it knew that it had stored maximum capacity, it unleashed them in a great Thunderbolt attack that headed straight for the opponent Metagross.

It's longer, and it would take more time, but it does really improve the quality of the fic, when you alter little details like that. Nothing much to say, really, everything else seems to be in order. Keep up the good work. :D

~ MCD
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  #10    
Old May 13th, 2004, 01:20 AM
Brian Powell
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Thanks, MCD. I'm starting to edit now.
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  #11    
Old May 5th, 2011, 10:22 AM
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Venzeron
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: New Bark Town
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Black Jack kinda reminds me of Harima from School Rumble.
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