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Fan Fiction and Writing Have a story you want to share? Or in the mood to sit back and read one, instead? Then come hang out here!

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  #1    
Old December 11th, 2011 (4:16 AM).
Trance and Moss's Avatar
Trance and Moss Trance and Moss is offline
808303
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Gender: Male
Nature: Modest
Posts: 138
Fly to the Light
the Warmth is growing
closer to the Energy
feeling Safe and Content
ZAP
Pain...
I'm going back again.



-Trance and Moss (Dec. 2011)
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  #2    
Old December 13th, 2011 (7:31 AM).
Palladium's Avatar
Palladium Palladium is offline
2012 FTW!
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Brazil, why?
Gender: Male
Nature: Calm
Posts: 275
Nice poem, but isn’t that a little too short? I know that the poem is describing the moth’s “story” but even so, it could have been larger; well, I like it simple, so ought to give you points for that. But really other than the fact that you capitalized some words when you didn’t need to (safe, content, warmth, light) the poem is great as it is. Congratulations and keep up like that.
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