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  #1    
Old November 13th, 2011 (06:28 AM).
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Pixel! Pixel! is offline
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Well,hello, I wasn't doing a thing significant to society,nothing at all in fact, so I decided to write some poems. I deserve the right to suck,and let's get going then.

Summary


I'll link my poems here,

Wobbufett (this post)

Poems



Wobbufett

You see me alone,
Think this battle’s as good as won,
Send out your best Dark Type,
And you’re in a hype,
You decide to bite,
Sorry kiddo,
Counter you so hard,
You’re feeling very light,
Pyromaniac you're feeling,
But your head is still reeling,
Blast me fire,
That hit was dire,
But if it hurt me,
Twice it did to thee,
Want to make me sick?
For this one,
Safeguard’s will kick in,
There’s no other way,
For me to escape,
This will kill me for once,
I use Destiny Bond,
You enter in a trance,
You kill me,
But before my last breather,
I’m taking you with me,
Let’s go to the Underworld together.
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  #2    
Old December 8th, 2011 (05:24 PM).
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Squirrel Squirrel is offline
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Quote originally posted by Pixel!:
Wobbufett

Spoiler:
You see me alone,
Think this battle’s as good as won,
Send out your best Dark Type,
And you’re in a hype,
You decide to bite,
Sorry kiddo,
Counter you so hard,
You’re feeling very light,
Pyromaniac you're feeling,
But your head is still reeling,
Blast me fire,
That hit was dire,
But if it hurt me,
Twice it did to thee,
Want to make me sick?
For this one,
Safeguard’s will kick in,
There’s no other way,
For me to escape,
This will kill me for once,
I use Destiny Bond,
You enter in a trance,
You kill me,
But before my last breather,
I’m taking you with me,
Let’s go to the Underworld together.
Wow, I love how fast-paced this poem feels! I think there's a few areas where the theme drops a bit though, for example the talk about Pyromaniacs? I assume that's supposed to be a reference to reflecting special type moves as well as physical moves, but maybe I'm wrong. I love how the poem portrays all of Wobbufett's key strengths and attributes, whilst keeping a fast paced and tense rhythm - is this perhaps contrary to Wobbufett's nature and abilities, being a Pokemon designed for lasting and setting up? It does seem to me that there are some areas in which the rhythm starts to collapse a little. For example here:

"Want to make me sick?
For this one,
Safeguard’s will kick in,"

and here:

"You kill me,
But before my last breather,
I’m taking you with me,"

The rhythm seems to change with the middle lines, although it may just be that I'm not reading it in the way you intended. The idea of "going to the underworld together" is a very haunting thought, great choice of words you've used there. All in all, a great poem which real does this Pokemon a lot of justice - I can't wait to see any more work that you do, I'll ensure to visit back here!
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  #3    
Old December 13th, 2011 (07:56 AM).
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Palladium Palladium is offline
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Well, I like the fast pace of this poem, although I think you could have slowed it down a little bit to match Wobbuffet’s nature. I liked how you portrayed its abilities in the poem against that Houndoom, am I right? Anyways, I think that while you managed to get a rhyming scheme, some words don’t fit and some feel forced there just so it’ll rhyme, like “thee” for example.

Well, that was it, hope it was helpful, and keep it up like that, just remember to take this advice.
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