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  #1    
Old December 16th, 2011, 11:23 PM
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In the modern world, it is common to see terrorism, murder, drug abuse, domestic violence, suicide, and all sorts of other unpleasant things discussed in everyday life. And yet, sex, a perfectly natural thing, does not show up nearly as often as any of those in public conversation.

Why is sex so "tabooed", and do you think it should be? What is the cause of this? It could be the media, the rule of "no sex before marriage" imposed by certain religions, or something else. How freely should we be able to talk about sex without going into too much detail (but again, why?) in public, if at all? Should young children be aware of what sex is, and who should make them aware; their peers, teachers or guardians? When should sexual education start? Finally, why do we have a legal age of sexual consent, and if you had the ability to, would you change this age in your own country?

Please don't answer these questions individually, and please keep the discussion mature. This isn't about your sex life, but your thoughts on the material earlier in this post.

**Thread is about a touchy subject. Expect heightened Moderation**

Discuss!

Last edited by Axton; December 27th, 2011 at 03:17 PM. Reason: Adding that
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Old December 17th, 2011, 04:20 AM
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I agree that sex is far more of a taboo than it should be. I think the fact that the act itself generally requires nudity for optimum results means that people often feel uncomfortable discussing it. I think if anything, the media is normalising the idea of sex rather than perpetuating the taboo, though it's reasonable to think that religion could play a part in it.

Personally, I make it a point to make sex as un-taboo as I possibly can. If you want to know anything about me, no matter how graphic, I will tell you straight up (of course, protecting the privacy of my partners who may not be as open-minded). I will even give sexual advice if you want it. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed of anything I've done, nor should anybody else be. It is a perfectly normal act and it should be discussed in an open forum whenever people see fit.

As for children, I've always been of the opinion that we coddle them far too much. It gets to the point where we are sacrificing freedoms as adults to protect the innocence of children. If that's the price we are paying to 'protect' children against knowledge of something that need not necessarily be protected against at all, then it comes at much too high a cost. Children should be made aware of sex from a very young age, and I don't see why it should be any one group that makes them aware of it. Peers, teachers, guardians, media, I don't see what difference it makes.

Legal age of consent makes no sense to me either. There are 13 year olds (and even younger) the world over who are having sex and by doing that, breaking the law where no law has any business existing. Governments should not have the power to regulate our bodily functions or our relationships with each other. I say abolish legal age of consent laws altogether. Make laws to stop rape and paedophilia, but leave it there. If sex is consentual, it's fine.
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Old December 17th, 2011, 05:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
As for children, I've always been of the opinion that we coddle them far too much. It gets to the point where we are sacrificing freedoms as adults to protect the innocence of children. If that's the price we are paying to 'protect' children against knowledge of something that need not necessarily be protected against at all, then it comes at much too high a cost. Children should be made aware of sex from a very young age, and I don't see why it should be any one group that makes them aware of it. Peers, teachers, guardians, media, I don't see what difference it makes.
This. Nowadays, children are being exposed to sex outside of the home more and more. They need to know about it, and they need to know that there's nothing wrong with it. Satisfying sexual desires is part of our natural hierarchy of needs. The only thing children need to be taugh to "protect" them is the importance of safe sex. (Being monogamous, using condoms/birth control, bladdy bladdy blah.)

Abstinence-only programs that are taught in high school are highly ineffective. iirc, about half of all high school teens are sexually active. Imo, they should be replaced with safe sex programs.
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Old December 17th, 2011, 06:00 AM
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I don't even think monogamy is something that needs to be preached. As long as you're safe, what's the harm in having multiple sexual partners? Monogamy is a social construct for relationships, it's something that humans have come up with and has nothing to do with our natural urges. It's not a sexual construct.
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Old December 17th, 2011, 06:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
I don't even think monogamy is something that needs to be preached. As long as you're safe, what's the harm in having multiple sexual partners? Monogamy is a social construct for relationships, it's something that humans have come up with and has nothing to do with our natural urges. It's not a sexual construct.
I think monogamy being preached is probably a preventative measure on getting STDs by sleeping around. But, provided you know the person and their background, you're right, I see no problem with it. I'm just saying it's not a good idea to go out having sex with people you just met at a bar.
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Old December 17th, 2011, 07:43 AM
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Because it's a private matter and a generally disgusting topic. People talk about things based on their importance; people will talk about sex if there's a reason to. But as for your specific tastes, what sort of stuff you like, and all the other details? Keep those to yourself, please. I'd no rather hear that then the details of the last bowel movement you had.
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Old December 17th, 2011, 08:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
As for children, I've always been of the opinion that we coddle them far too much. It gets to the point where we are sacrificing freedoms as adults to protect the innocence of children. If that's the price we are paying to 'protect' children against knowledge of something that need not necessarily be protected against at all, then it comes at much too high a cost. Children should be made aware of sex from a very young age, and I don't see why it should be any one group that makes them aware of it. Peers, teachers, guardians, media, I don't see what difference it makes.
Being aware of it is one thing. Education. The age and how much of the details they need to know is debatable.

But, if that other thread here on virginity is any indication, we've got kids doing the act apparently before hitting puberty. If you're still at the age of believing in Santa, you don't need to be having sex. I think they're too desensitized to it from the media. So, in that sense, I have no problem trying to protect the innocence of children. Otherwise, we're just asking for trouble.

Anyway, more in line with the actual topic... I like how Europe tends to be more "sex is okay, violence isn't" rather than North America, where its the opposite. I don't know how we got so uptight. But, with that said...

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Originally Posted by twocows View Post
Because it's a private matter and a generally disgusting topic. People talk about things based on their importance; people will talk about sex if there's a reason to. But as for your specific tastes, what sort of stuff you like, and all the other details? Keep those to yourself, please. I'd no rather hear that then the details of the last bowel movement you had.
I agree with that.
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Old December 17th, 2011, 09:02 AM
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Just going to mention something in response to Shining's post.

tbh, the rules exist to scare children away from sex so they don't make mistakes they'll regret. Either ending up with a teenager while you're a teenager, or having an abortion, it isn't good a good thing. I'm pretty sure when my age group was 12/13 they were not nearly mature enough to have all the necessary protection etc in place. It really takes one mistake and lots of things can happen. Imo, 16 is an "okay" age for it, but really, anything below just seems really way too young. And really, if fear tactics and all that can work for the majority, then hey that's great.
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  #9    
Old December 17th, 2011, 09:36 AM
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My last post was nonconstructive and got deleted (I've only mentioned "things are fine the way it is" without any detail), so I'll just get straight to the point this time.

I'd agree with Forever on this issue. Sex isn't just something that you do and forget about it. For many, it's a life-changing experience, and I honestly believe it's more normal to think of sex as "disgusting" when you're around late childhood to early adolescence ages (I certainly felt that way around that time). Not trying to force my belief on anybody, but IMHO 12-14 is too young to have that kind of relationship, and many governments around the world certainly agree too.
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Last edited by 2Cool4Mewtwo; December 17th, 2011 at 09:45 AM.
  #10    
Old December 17th, 2011, 09:42 AM
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Good topic of conversation. I find that you've got a point - it almost seems like sex should be welcomed before the drug abuse, murder and rape stories that get thrown at us daily, being that it's a natural occurrence, without which we wouldn't exist. However, I think the mass public needs to know about these awful stories above sex, because it concerns them much more. I'd want to know if there was a sexual predator identified in my neighborhood or near it.

Well, you say sex is tabooed, but I don't think it is completely. Perhaps on television, but if you walk into any social gathering, you'll find people flaunting their sexual conquests. But the reason it's tabooed is because it's simply nobody's business other than the two (or more) people involved. I honestly don't need to know that you got laid last night and just how freakin great it was. Cause I don't care. And that's what you need to say to the bros that brag.

Children should definitely be aware of what sex is, but I also think we need to give them their time of innocence and naivety. I was given sex ed in the sixth grade if I remember correctly, when I was 11. I find that I'm quite responsible when it comes to things pertaining to sex. Whether that is thanks to exceptional sexual education (which I highly doubt), it seems to have worked for me. I would go ahead and say that it's probably a reasonable age to be teaching kids sex ed.

Age of legal consent is necessary. It's like the drinking age or smoking age. The government only recognizes citizens as adults when they're 18 and before then can't attribute citizens to have the mental capacity to make their own decisions about sex. I think in Canada, age of consent is 13 or 14 years old, which isn't very high. But I'm glad it's there. I don't think anyone under the age of 13 should be having sex at all. Girls wouldn't even have hit their periods yet by that point. And then of course there's the legal age, which I think is also in good measure.

I just think sex should be left to the people involved. It might be tabooed, but really is that bothering society much at all? Albeit tabooed, most people still tend to have sex. So it's not like an issue. I'm just comparing it to the taboo of marijuana since the prohibition began, you can't freely go walking in your neighborhood smoking a joint. Some people do, but more would if it were legal. Less people smoke openly because it's illegal and tabooed. The case is different concerning sex.
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Last edited by marz; December 20th, 2011 at 04:39 PM.
  #11    
Old December 17th, 2011, 09:53 AM
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The other day, my six year-old little brother came home from school and said, "I did sex today". Baffled, my mother asked him to repeat what he said to make sure she heard him right, and she did. We all did. When asked what he knew about sex, he responded with "it's when a boy and a girl lay down together and make noise like ahh ah ahh". Sure, he's not exactly accurate, but it's the fact in the matter that he learned something like that from a kid in his class--a kid who's more than likely the same age as him. My mom was downright furious and decided she was going to have a word with my brother's teacher.

But it's unavoidable, kids these days pick stuff up like it's nothing. "Their minds are like sponges". Kids hear things from television/movies/music/the internet/etc. and pass it on to one another. Mainly because parents aren't educating their kids on these things themselves, and instead their likely left to have skewed notions of sex. I say this because I was my brother's age when my mom sat me down and told me where babies came from and even got books from the library specifically designed for that reason. She told me that it was a natural and a private thing, and that I could always go to her if I had anymore questions. This satisfied my need to go to my peers and ask them if and what they knew about sex. So why hadn't she given my younger siblings the same respect?

Instead of trying to scare kids/teenagers away from sex or just completely avoiding the subject like the plague, parents should openly communicate with their children about sex--not just the negative things like, "YOU'RE GONNA GET PREGNANT AT 15 AND/OR GET AN STD AND DIE", but also how sex is a way to intimately connect with someone you really care about and that it's nothing to be ashamed about. It is natural, after all. Express the importance of being safe, instead of insisting they practice complete abstinence. Teenagers are going to do whatever they want anyway, but they need to be taught the possible pros and cons to their actions.

I'm not shy when it comes to sex. Why should I be? But that doesn't mean I'm about to go shout my private details off of a rooftop. Sex is what it is--yeah, you have to deal with intimate body parts, but the human body is quite the beautiful thing. There's no need for shame.
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Old December 17th, 2011, 10:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
I agree that sex is far more of a taboo than it should be. I think the fact that the act itself generally requires nudity for optimum results means that people often feel uncomfortable discussing it. I think if anything, the media is normalising the idea of sex rather than perpetuating the taboo, though it's reasonable to think that religion could play a part in it.

Very much so, I agree.

Personally, I make it a point to make sex as un-taboo as I possibly can. If you want to know anything about me, no matter how graphic, I will tell you straight up (of course, protecting the privacy of my partners who may not be as open-minded). I will even give sexual advice if you want it. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed of anything I've done, nor should anybody else be. It is a perfectly normal act and it should be discussed in an open forum whenever people see fit.

As for children, I've always been of the opinion that we coddle them far too much. It gets to the point where we are sacrificing freedoms as adults to protect the innocence of children. If that's the price we are paying to 'protect' children against knowledge of something that need not necessarily be protected against at all, then it comes at much too high a cost. Children should be made aware of sex from a very young age, and I don't see why it should be any one group that makes them aware of it. Peers, teachers, guardians, media, I don't see what difference it makes.

True there; If the person doesn't want to know the details of what was cracking in your bedroom, then of course respect their view on the matter. But it's there, and shouldn't be kept completely in the closet (but not completely opened to everyone either)

Legal age of consent makes no sense to me either. There are 13 year olds (and even younger) the world over who are having sex and by doing that, breaking the law where no law has any business existing. Governments should not have the power to regulate our bodily functions or our relationships with each other. I say abolish legal age of consent laws altogether. Make laws to stop rape and paedophilia, but leave it there. If sex is consentual, it's fine.

Er...

Soo 20+ year olds can have sex with girls that look maaybe 15-16 but are in fact only 11 or 12 because it's their body and no one else including maybe family, parents shouldn't have a say in that? Yeah...it's there for a reason and should stay. If that was my child....yeah, no need to say more.

Sex is mostly tabooed in religious groups, more than likely to somewhat scare or intimidate young teens/adults from performing the act until marriage and what not. It perfectly normal and shouldn't be portrayed in this manner. Yeah, it can go from great to freaking $h!t once a teen gets pregnant or an STD, but that's when the other part of it comes into play: communication. The "NO SEX UNTIL BLAH BA-BLAH" taught from school and even from parents are not going to work. As a poster on here stated, half of the freaking students in high schools are sexually active. Media, music...a lot of stuff fuels the urges and desires for it. What the school and parents can do is educate their children in safe and protected sex. Making them aware of both the good and bad sides of it. Now, if they're going to do that, or do their own thing is completely up to the person.


Anyway (sorry for babbling/going off topic a bit at the beginning.) I say children are a bit sheltered. But again, those are the years where they shouldn't know what the adult world is like. That's why they have their pre-teen and teen years. The child years should be spent as a normal kid. Let em be a kid. Of course they'll probably pick up on slang terms or even the actually sense of sex from peers or schools, but hey again, media, music, tv...we're the ones broadcasting that image on there, and they know how to pick up that good o' remote control and add in the curiosity and BLAM - it spreads.

Now to the Legal age of consent part.I'm glad that this exists. I understand that two people fall in love and blah blah blah, but like I stated above (and sorry, but that's my view from that comment.) Do we really want that going on? I sure don't. It's just like Penatrait said in a earlier post. Don't need to repeat it here on mine. The much younger folks (no disrespect for those around that age range here) just can't comprehend the complexities of not only the act itself but what and how they feel afterwards. And the same towards that person. They lose their innocence and more. We all do at some point, but sometimes, it should just be held off a bit longer. Again, it's there for a reason. I don't know about you, but I'm cool with it. 100%. And should remain that way.
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Old December 17th, 2011, 11:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
I don't even think monogamy is something that needs to be preached. As long as you're safe, what's the harm in having multiple sexual partners? Monogamy is a social construct for relationships, it's something that humans have come up with and has nothing to do with our natural urges. It's not a sexual construct.
If you are only going on natural urges, you are a weak person. If we were victim to our instinct constantly, we would not have evolved to where we have. We achieve more by being intelligent, and not falling prey to the lowest common denominator animalistic instincts.
Don't be a slave to your body.
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Old December 17th, 2011, 11:24 AM
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If you are only going on natural urges, you are a weak person. If we were victim to our instinct constantly, we would not have evolved to where we have. We achieve more by being intelligent, and not falling prey to the lowest common denominator animalistic instincts.
Don't be a slave to your body.
It's like how when you want to punch someone in the face, you just don't. XD We're better than that.
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Old December 17th, 2011, 11:56 AM
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I think it's less of an issue of giving into being a "slave to your body", as Trance and Moss put it, and more a situation of just wanting to have some fun. Especially as kids. I can't personally see why there's any issue with going on natural urges since generally what your gut feeling is telling you to do is the most fun thing to do. And don't we all want to have some fun?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thrash
The other day, my six year-old little brother came home from school and said, "I did sex today". Baffled, my mother asked him to repeat what he said to make sure she heard him right, and she did. We all did. When asked what he knew about sex, he responded with "it's when a boy and a girl lay down together and make noise like ahh ah ahh". Sure, he's not exactly accurate, but it's the fact in the matter that he learned something like that from a kid in his class--a kid who's more than likely the same age as him. My mom was downright furious and decided she was going to have a word with my brother's teacher.
I had a great laugh at this. But honestly, that makes me question why we bother hiding anything. Whatever parents and teachers don't tell them, peers will, and as demonstrated here, what peers say is often wrong. Isn't it better to teach the kids this sort of stuff early so that they don't get the wrong information from their peers?
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Old December 17th, 2011, 12:36 PM
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I think it's less of an issue of giving into being a "slave to your body", as Trance and Moss put it, and more a situation of just wanting to have some fun. Especially as kids. I can't personally see why there's any issue with going on natural urges since generally what your gut feeling is telling you to do is the most fun thing to do. And don't we all want to have some fun?
Your gut feeling is also generally the most reckless. I much prefer making decisions with my brain or my heart than my gut or my "junk"
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Old December 17th, 2011, 01:02 PM
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I guess for some people sex is more of a personal thing than just "having fun." Like.. having fun for me I think of movies, games, hanging out, socializing... I don't find having sex with someone I hardly know particularly appealing. That's why I sort of agree more with Triforce89.
I don't like how sex becomes almost like peer pressure in certain parts of society. I also think children are smart and should be educated early on. If they're gonna do it anyways, they should be informed and also know about safe practices.

The whole no sex before marriage I can understand on a personal level. I think that the idea of having sex with someone who you're committed to connects you on a deeper level obviously than just a one night stand.. so wanting to make intimacy something special you share between the both of you is completely understandable.
I don't look down upon any sexual practices as long as the party members are mature about it, safe about it, and not potentially hurting anyone.
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Old December 17th, 2011, 03:02 PM
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I think the short answer to why sex is taboo is because it's complicated.

Terrorism, murder, drug abuse, domestic violence and suicide are all things that you don't want to see happening so it's easy to say to a kid (or anyone): "All these things, they're bad. Don't do them." You'd be right to say that, too. You can't do that when talking about sex. Well, you can, but there's a lot more bias in saying "sex is bad" than in saying "murder is bad."

Talking about sex is essentially a conversation in human interactions, but with lots of complications. You can talk about how it's important for people to respect each other, you can talk about how people have freedom of choice, but there are a lot of things when it comes to one person interacting with another that you have to tackle when talking about sex. You might have to deal with issues of equality and gender roles and, basically, when you talk about sex you're not just talking about sex. You're talking about almost anything and there is so much room for people to have conflicting ideas. Add on to that the fact that sex only becomes personally understandable when you reach puberty (and get all those weird feelings) and that it's a different experience for everyone and you have a really complex topic.
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Old December 17th, 2011, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Castgurl View Post
Soo 20+ year olds can have sex with girls that look maaybe 15-16 but are in fact only 11 or 12 because it's their body and no one else including maybe family, parents shouldn't have a say in that? Yeah...it's there for a reason and should stay. If that was my child....yeah, no need to say more.
I already said that there should be laws to prevent paedophilia, which if 20+ people are having sex with 11-12 year olds, it would be. As to the family or parents having a say in their child's sexual life? Absolutely not! Not at any age. As you said, it is their body and nobody else's, and everybody should have the right to choose what they do with their own body. I lost my virginity at 18, because before that point I didn't feel ready. I made that decision for myself. But if I'd felt ready and wanted to do it at 13 or 14, there is no way in Hell I would have allowed my parents any say in the matter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Castgurl
The much younger folks (no disrespect for those around that age range here) just can't comprehend the complexities of not only the act itself but what and how they feel afterwards. And the same towards that person. They lose their innocence and more. We all do at some point, but sometimes, it should just be held off a bit longer. Again, it's there for a reason. I don't know about you, but I'm cool with it. 100%. And should remain that way.
I actually find this view to be somewhat condescending. At the root of it all, the act itself is not all that complex. I'm sorry to be crude here, but it's pretty much a case of "this goes in there. Repeat." In any event, it's not that difficult and it doesn't take a PhD to figure out how it works. I think I could have worked it out at a pretty young age.

As to the notion of 'innocence', I actually see this word used in debates about children, and I've actually used it myself but I just now realise that I have no idea what it means. What is a child's 'innocence' and why is it so important that they not lose it? Do you think a child would mind losing their innocence? To this day, I look back on my life and I don't recall any particular profound moment where I lost mine. Certainly if I did, I wasn't upset about it. Perhaps I still have it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trance and Moss View Post
If you are only going on natural urges, you are a weak person. If we were victim to our instinct constantly, we would not have evolved to where we have. We achieve more by being intelligent, and not falling prey to the lowest common denominator animalistic instincts.
Don't be a slave to your body.
Submitting to natural urges is by definition natural. I can't speak for everybody here, but I think the most fun a human can have is when they are satisfying a natural urge. What's wrong with having fun if you are safe and there are no consequences?

I wouldn't consider myself a slave to my body. I have a logical, rational brain and am capable of thought beyond my baser instincts, just like everybody else. So, speaking with a sober mind that is currently uninhibited by sexual hormones or any external impediment, I don't see the point in denying the body what it wants when there is nothing to be lost by satisfying it. If you practice sex safely, then what does it matter how often you do it or with how many people?

And more importantly, what is to be gained by not satisfying the urge? The ability to say that you are above your animalistic urges? That's not really an ability in which I have any interest whatsoever. I know in myself that I am capable of more than what my body tells me to do. I am very secure in that and I don't feel the need to prove it to myself or to anybody else.

I'd question what is more 'weak': succumbing to the body's baser urges or not doing something fun just so that you can feel like you're better than it.

In any case, I wasn't saying that monogamy was something that should be discouraged or prevented in any way, just that it wasn't a vital part of safe sexual practice that needed to be preached. While monogamy and sex are often practiced together, they are not in any way synonymous and should not be treated as such. They are two separate concepts and to promote that they be practiced together when it's not entirely necessary is passing a stigmatic judgment call on those who choose not to.
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Last edited by Catholic Nun; December 17th, 2011 at 04:19 PM.
  #20    
Old December 17th, 2011, 05:06 PM
DreamQueen
I'm gonna rock your billy
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
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Age: 26
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There is definitely a right age and a wrong age to have sex, and there is a good reason parents and society in general should have a say in when you should have sex.

My husband's parents are very....laid back...I could say "totally lacking in morals"

Their newly turned 13 year old son wanted to have sex with his newly turned 13 year old girlfriend, so they bought them condoms and bought him a bigger bed, and said they could do whatever they wanted because they were in control of their own bodies.
She was pregnant before either of them had turned 14.
Thank god she had a miscarriage early on.
I could not imagine two 13 year olds, neither of whom went to school or were even legally allowed to have jobs yet, both heavy smokers and drinkers {another part of the "we don't want to give our kids rules" parenting style}, trying to raise a baby.

If my 14 year old announces that they will have sex no matter what I say or do, I will simply try harder to stop them. They don't have to be allowed out of the house to see friends or sleep over at other people's houses, that's a privilege. I'd rather send them to a single-gender boarding school than tell them to go for it and have to raise their brat when the consequences of their, and my, irresponsible actions caught up with them.
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  #21    
Old December 17th, 2011, 06:12 PM
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Gold warehouse
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Quote:
In the modern world, it is common to see terrorism, murder, drug abuse, domestic violence, suicide, and all sorts of other unpleasant things discussed in everyday life. And yet, sex, a perfectly natural thing, does not show up nearly as often as any of those in public conversation.

I know you went to a weird school, but damnnnn

I don't understand why people say it is taboo... sex is everywhere. Throughout the media, advertising, there's a sex shop in the local shopping center right next to where people buy their groceries, porn is sold in gas stations, and conversation as well although I suppose that's more determined by who you talk to. If anything it's nearly impossible to get away from the idea of sex. We're discussing sex right now on a Pokemon forum.

Taboo in the sense some people don't like talking about it, yes, but that's on more of a personal level rather than a reflection of society as a whole. The vast majority of people I've known since about the age of 7 haven't been uncomfortable with it, and I'm pretty sure most people in general (or at least teenagers & young adults) aren't uncomfortable discussing it.
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Last edited by Gold warehouse; December 17th, 2011 at 06:17 PM.
  #22    
Old December 17th, 2011, 06:55 PM
Patchisou Yutohru
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamQueen View Post
If my 14 year old announces that they will have sex no matter what I say or do, I will simply try harder to stop them. They don't have to be allowed out of the house to see friends or sleep over at other people's houses, that's a privilege. I'd rather send them to a single-gender boarding school than tell them to go for it and have to raise their brat when the consequences of their, and my, irresponsible actions caught up with them.
I think you're forgetting what it's like to be a teenager. I just have to say, most of the time, kids - and especially teenagers, who are already at a rebellious phase in their life, will only want to do something much more if you push it so hard against them that they can't do something. I agree, and totally understand where you're coming from, but if that situation arises, I actually think it's much more appropriate to do what your husband's parents did. I mean, I don't know them in person, but they seem to be coming from a different place where you think they were. If your teenager is going to have sex and is hellbent on having it, for whatever reason, chances are they're going to have it. And they aren't looking for your opinion or permission on the manner. That's just the way it is. These days, most teens have sex before they turn of legal age of consent. Wouldn't you rather be of sound mind to know that your child had protected sex rather than did it without a condom, and wouldn't you feel better to know that if they're that concerned with having it, they'd come to you about it? Most of the people I know who lost their virginity before turning 18 never told their parents about it because of how forceful they were about sex in general. I don't think you want that, do you?
  #23    
Old December 17th, 2011, 07:53 PM
TRIFORCE89's Avatar
TRIFORCE89
Guide of Darkness
 
Join Date: May 2004
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vendak View Post

I know you went to a weird school, but damnnnn

I don't understand why people say it is taboo... sex is everywhere. Throughout the media, advertising, there's a sex shop in the local shopping center right next to where people buy their groceries, porn is sold in gas stations, and conversation as well although I suppose that's more determined by who you talk to. If anything it's nearly impossible to get away from the idea of sex. We're discussing sex right now on a Pokemon forum.

Taboo in the sense some people don't like talking about it, yes, but that's on more of a personal level rather than a reflection of society as a whole. The vast majority of people I've known since about the age of 7 haven't been uncomfortable with it, and I'm pretty sure most people in general (or at least teenagers & young adults) aren't uncomfortable discussing it.
One of the more logical posts in this thread I think. Also it reminded me that there's an adult fun store right next to restaurant I visit frequently XD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Patchisou Yutohru View Post
I agree, and totally understand where you're coming from, but if that situation arises, I actually think it's much more appropriate to do what your husband's parents did. I mean, I don't know them in person, but they seem to be coming from a different place where you think they were.
o_o I don't think so. I read her story there. If your kid is going to be having sex. Discourage it, sure, if you're so inclined. And more importantly encourage safe practices. That makes sense. But what her husband's parents did? Bought the kid condoms and a larger bed, and basically said "have at it. Knock yourselves out".

There's a difference between education and creating an environment that leads to the act. It's not your parents job to get you laid.
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  #24    
Old December 17th, 2011, 08:26 PM
Patchisou Yutohru
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TRIFORCE89 View Post
o_o I don't think so. I read her story there. If your kid is going to be having sex. Discourage it, sure, if you're so inclined. And more importantly encourage safe practices. That makes sense. But what her husband's parents did? Bought the kid condoms and a larger bed, and basically said "have at it. Knock yourselves out".

There's a difference between education and creating an environment that leads to the act. It's not your parents job to get you laid.
Mm, yes, I just gave them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps there were other reasons for getting a larger bed than them wanting them to have sex, like him outgrowing one. I'm mainly looking at the fact that they got him condoms, which I tried to make a point of in my previous post. It wasn't specified when they bought the condoms and the bed, so I'm left to speculate. It could have been months beforehand when they got him a new bed.
  #25    
Old December 18th, 2011, 09:54 AM
Esper's Avatar
Esper
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: California
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
At the root of it all, the act itself is not all that complex. I'm sorry to be crude here, but it's pretty much a case of "this goes in there. Repeat." In any event, it's not that difficult and it doesn't take a PhD to figure out how it works. I think I could have worked it out at a pretty young age.
There is so much more to "the act" than the act itself though. Aside from all the potential bad consequences (pregnancy, STIs) there are issues of comfort (without getting too detailed, there are some people whose bodies don't respond "in the expected ways" or at least as strongly) which can make it unpleasant or painful or even cause injury. Then there are issues that require more maturity than a mechanical knowledge provides. What if the person you're with starts becoming forceful? What if you start to feel uncomfortable in the middle of it? What if you make the mistake of thinking that only "no" means "no" and that a lack of response is a silent "yes"?

I'm not saying a 13 year old can't be mature enough, but they need to be taught a lot things beyond "what goes where."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vendak View Post
I don't understand why people say it is taboo... sex is everywhere. Throughout the media, advertising, there's a sex shop in the local shopping center right next to where people buy their groceries, porn is sold in gas stations, and conversation as well although I suppose that's more determined by who you talk to. If anything it's nearly impossible to get away from the idea of sex. We're discussing sex right now on a Pokemon forum.

Taboo in the sense some people don't like talking about it, yes, but that's on more of a personal level rather than a reflection of society as a whole. The vast majority of people I've known since about the age of 7 haven't been uncomfortable with it, and I'm pretty sure most people in general (or at least teenagers & young adults) aren't uncomfortable discussing it.
I think some of the problem is that we're talking about certain aspects of it and not others. Yeah, you can see a lot of young boys boasting about their exploits, but how many people would feel comfortable talking about feeling like someone took advantage of them? How often do boys get together and tell each other to remember to get consent before having sex? To use protection every time? To ask partners to get tested?

These aren't rhetorical questions, btw. I'm just saying that as much as sex is an open topic there are still big gaps in what's talked about.
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