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Old March 5th, 2012, 05:35 AM
clarence30
Beginning Trainer
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Singapore,Singapore,Redhill Close
Gender: Male
Nature: Timid

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Once upon a time,there was a Magikarp name 'Fred'.He likes to play with his best friend,Mispit the Feebas.They like to play games such as 'Tag'.
One day,Mispit and Fred was playing happ
ily.Then a gang of Sharpedo came.
Leader of Sharpedo Gang : HAHAHA!! You ugly pokemons.
Sharpedo 1 : Yeah! Ugly children.
Sharpedo 2 : Stupid and ugly children.
Fred was hurt by the words the Sharpedo gang said.He felt tired and swam home.
Mispit : Keep your comments to yourselves!
And Mispit swam home with Fred.
The next day
Fred : Mummy!!!! Am i ugly?
Mother : No you're not.Why?You looked worried.
Fred : A group of Sharpedo said i'm ugly.
Mother : Oh..don't care about them.Come on,lets have breakfast.
  #2    
Old March 5th, 2012, 10:02 AM
Astinus's Avatar
Astinus
Remember NovEnder
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Connecticut, USA
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Please read the rules of the section before posting. The rules of this section state that only well-written script fics are allowed, and any that don't meet the quality standards will be closed. Not only is your font a large enough size that it's difficult to read, but your grammar needs improvement. You also need more narration in the story, like how the characters are feeling, rather than just rushing through the story.
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