[Let's Play] Pokemon 'Diamond' - Keitai Denjuu Telefang (2.0)

[bobandbill]

Let's Play Pokemon Diamond!
A Screenshot LP

Ah, good old Pokemon -wait, what?

A new version of the old thread! I'm starting over because imageshack is removing images with little warning unless I pay money unlike other considerably cooler places like photobucket, despite saying images would have been up there forever without needing to pay. Yay blackmail! I've the rest of March to save stuff or pay up on a monthly basis but instead I'm jumping ship and implemented a script I wrote to save me a lot of hassle with replacing all ~3,000 image urls currently uploaded. This will be basically the same in the parts already darn bar some error fixing, a new source for the music files and maybe minor changes in comments. Or if you prefer, the short version of this is:

Spoiler:

IMAGESHACK SUCKS GUYS

Anyways! For those who do not know, there are a pair of old GBC games called 'Pokemon Diamond and Jade'. They're infamous for their talk of curry and random swearing and hilarious engrish!

Said games are really badly pirated and translated games called 'Keitai Denjuu Telefang', which was another monster-collecting+fighting game that was only ever officially released in Japan (it also got a Japanese-only sequel). But said piraters tried to pass their poorly translated works as Pokemon games, completely with box art and a different title screen! Within the game though (bar it being in English Engrish and having the odd problem with saving in cases) it was simply the Telefang game, with no Pokemon to be found inside.

'Pokemon Diamond' was the 'Power version' of Telefang, while Jade was the 'Speed version'. (I don't believe they're referring to that sort of speed, but...). Well, have a Telefang box art pic:

Spoiler:

But it's not a bad game - some tough battles, frustrating mazes, catchy music and very entertaining engrish - what's not to love? ;p

I've decided to replay this game - I actually had a game pak with this as a kid which provided me with many, many hours of confusion. Hope you enjoy it too!

Note I'll throw up tunes when they come up in the game via sound clip player windows! Press play to, well, play, and if it lags it's not my fault.

Warning - swearing is abounds in this game in some stages. But it's engrish swearing so it's all good! ;p


Part One - Down the Rabbit Hole!
Or part of the long intro sequence in which a lot of baseballs happen.

Spoiler:

Wow, I can't believe it's not Pokemon!

We're greeted with this highly convincing title screen, which seems to suggest this strange snake thing has three of the Chaos Emeralds. (At this stage the games appears to be as much Sonic as it is Pokemon).

But this is as exciting as the title screen gets, so let's watch the intro video - maybe we can see if there's any Pokemon there.




Any Pokemon here, I wonder?


...no, it doesn't seem so. Darn.

...what is that, anyway? Pyramid Head? The local hobo? Who knows!


Clearly what was found startles what appears to be our HERO^TM though.


Suddenly, lots of trees. Maybe it's Viridian forest, or-


Oh is it a Pokem-no, it's a...thing. With a phone.

Something tells me we're not in Kanto. Or Kansas.


Our HERO^TM would like to tell you that today's LP is brought to you by the letter 'S', as seen on his helmet.


The 'thing' that appeared earlier is now angry. Maybe he doesn't like the letter S? Or maybe he too wonders where all the Pokemon are.


One gets a feeling a showdown is about to go down...

...only the intro video cuts out then as the two things face off. Aww. I was expecting an epic chess duel or something. :< And so much for Pokemon.

We might as well get on with the beginning part of the game!


The main menu screen. It's phonerific.


The game allows you to set up the- no, decide time! - when you start a file, which does have a visual effect (day/night feature, so you will).

Well, at least it doesn't say 'make your time'.


Look at that character walk about like a pro. Clearly he must be an important character of some sort!





Well... don't believe everything you hear, kid? Already we are informed that there's another world and we can presume the strange creatures are electric monsters.

Because, you know. They were totally packing a lot of electricity? =/


And that's why he shall stand in front of it for the time being. You show that tree who's boss!


Suddnly, a wild baseball attacks!

The native baseball is prompt to defend its home tree against any intruders.


Darn right, kid.


And the engrish already breaks down for the first time - fly over...what? The tree? The ball? The text boxes!?


Meanwhile, our HERO^TM is also walking about.


Yes, please do.


And another person who comes with her own theme music. They also like jumping!



...actually, that's a lie. EVERYONE in this game likes jumping. It's like the secondary method of speech in the game.


Oh no she didn't.


Such an outrageous comment prompts our HERO^TM to show off his jumping skills. Observe the jump of anger!


Our HERO^TM calms down to point this out to 'Miyor'. And compared to apparently magical trees, it shouldn't be that special anyways.


(Sungki being the fellow who nearly suffered death via baseball).


So in other words... please go walk through that tree?


~If you're happy and you know it jump up high!~


And here the translators display their lack of knowledge of female pronouns like 'she'. Anyways, saying such things was rather rude...or maybe it was just that she didn't pick up the ball. That must be it, seeing that baseball seems to be rather important thus far.


_He_ may be a _cute guy_ as well. Maybe our HERO^TM is blind or something...


Yes, let's. Oh, boy, I haven't been this excited about seeing a ball in years! (I presume he is also either talking to himself, or his helmet).


'I hope you didn't eat the ball again, or I'll jump so much I'll mistake your gender!'


Aha! We know know the protagonist's name, and hence do not have to refer to him as the HERO^TM anymore.




'Sedge may refer to:

• Any of the plants in the family Cyperaceae...[/I[/URL]]
• Any of the caddisflies[/URL] (Trichoptera), small moth-like insects with aquatic larvae...'

Yeah, I don't think that makes much sense here. But he seems pretty sure about it being sedge!


...yes, I suppose that's the case when you're standing next to each other?

He is possibly referring to Bek and Miyor, but it's a typical case of the translation being vague whenever possible. Especially when sedge is concerned.


Baseball is so important, it's 'the baseball', not 'baseball'.


All of Bek? I mean, all of him? If you say so... ._.

And of course not what are you talking about the baseball is the only life for Bek.


So apparently you need 'D shoot'. (D shoot...de shoot, de gun?). Without this...thing, you will NEVER HAVE ANY FRIENDS. Well, I guess it's always useful to have a friend with a gun...


Suddenly, a phone rings. Not that you can tell, but it stops all the background music!


Yes, I've just established that. Keep up with me, sheesh.


Well, is it from that [under the tree]? They go and investigate.


They happen to find a phone, and apparently it is that 'D Shoot'. Exciting times. Meanwhile the phone continues to ring.


Yes, I don't follow where this is going either, Bek.


Yeah, something more exciting than the baseball is bound to happen sometime, so get on with it.


About time he answered that phone.


Perspective shot! It is very exciting. It has a...tree in the background and all! But whoever could the caller be?


Suddenly, an earthquake!


Wheeeeeeee!!

Don't you just hate it when that happens?


And so concludes about half of the intro sequence! More excitement to follow, along with slowly degrading engrish and maybe, gasp, some 'electric monsters'! Hopefully this version of the thread will reach the end of the game as well! Please comment and all.

[ChaosJester083]

Your back! That's awesome! I was wondering what had happened to this and I'm glad its back.

[Kuribute123]

Love this let's play. Keep it going!

[Captain Fabio]

Nearly died looking at your first spoiler; much laughter. :D

Great to see you back with another!

[bobandbill]

Originally Posted by ChaosJester083

Your back! That's awesome! I was wondering what had happened to this and I'm glad its back.

Heh, thanks. I'll be roughly aiming for an old update a week or so, but that's subject to real life stuff.

Originally Posted by Kuribute123

Love this let's play. Keep it going!

Cheers! (I guess it makes sense with your username =p).

Originally Posted by Captain Fabio

Nearly died looking at your first spoiler; much laughter. :D

Great to see you back with another!

Hopefully the rest of the actual LP is even funnier! Actually, no, because I don't want you dead. (Or do I...?)

...Anyways!

Part Two - A Whole New World
Or the rest of the long intro sequence in which a magic phone happens.

Spoiler:

So where were we?


Ah yes, plummenting to our dooms. Let's get that bit over with already.


Sungki seems initially concerned by Bek falling directly on his head but then decides the tree stump is far more interesting.




The tree stump probably isn't the one to ask, just saying.


The tree stump's silence angers Sungki into more jumping!


Indeed it is - what a rude tree stump.


Well, I guess a mere headache isn't so bad considering how long you were falling there for...


Oh no!


Yes, what are you taking about. There's nothing strange going on here! Stop that crazy talk.


Ah, the pause for dramatic effect.


Le gasp!


When in doubt, turn around and then jump!


No, it's Munchkin land. With all that jumping you flew over the rainbow, obviously.


How old is this phone we're talking about here? I mean, I remember the old-style phones which had an antenna, but three, let alone four?

(He's possibly referring to the signal strength which shows four, but who can tell? Still just as outdated!)


Phones are very magical, it seems.


Always with the shooting, aren't you, Sungki.


A 'hard won portable'? A wonna is Bek? Clearly Sungki is too caught up in rambling to himself in a desparate attempt to try and make sense, while Bek is likely thinking to himself 'baseballbaseballbaseballbaseballbaseballbaseballbaseballbaseballbaseballbaseballbaseballbaseball'. A distraction is needed!


...yes, I suppose a random, talking turtle-like creature suffices.


Creepy turtle is creepy.


'Selected to stand and listen to Sungki wave phones about? Sadly, yes. Say, do you like baseball?'


"I like baseball. Do you like baseball?"


He's clearly not a 'man', Sungki. And find out what?


Gotta like something!


Wait, I though we were going to find out something? And look, another creature too.




This prompts a yes/no response. Saying no has him give you a Brief History of the Electric Monster's World, and then he repeats the question. Fun times!

The general gist of said history is that the worlds were separated by 'dark curtains', but mankind figured a way to go through them (by walking?). They brought with them phones to make friends with the e-monsters - the 'D-shoot'. Exchanging phone numbers became custom between friends, although now stronger e-monsters had more numbers than other ones. Hence, combat between them and winning was how they got more numbers, and battling was referred to as 'making phonecalls'.


If not, then don't worry, that was probably the best-translated part of the entire game! Let's find out why this...thing told us to come here.


Like Pokemon, names of creatures are in CAPSLOCK. FOR COOLNESS.


Blah Blah woe is village. I guess that's why pipelines are good things!


They're not worried - they looks very worried! Now that's worrying.


What sort of trouble, I wonder? Does he run about yelling obscenities, or steals everybody's left shoe?


I don't think Bek has moved an inch thus far inside the house. Not even a mere jump.


A friend! A friend of you, Bek!


Whatever you say, Not-Sandslash.




Phone numbers is essentially like the telefang version of catching creatures. Now they do your bidding and all that jazz! Pity that doesn't work in real life. =(


It's the map that YOU have to fill in!


This can be regarded as a [fourth wall] which has been broken.


Sungki finally speaks and makes little sense.


'Quiet, Not-Sandslash, I'm still trying to find the baseball.'


...


Yeah, perhaps leaving is for the best, Bek.


And now we're outside! What fun.

Thus ends the intro sequence! Now one can control your character! But first, let's examine this map.


This map.
It is the best map!
Look at the places on that thing-
The map's blank. We have to fill it in ourselves.
WHO WOULD DO THIS

Ok maybe the phone will be more interesting.


Phone is for calling! Call is for reading calls! Excitement!




Amusingly in the 'Options' part, there is a 'magic' option. Maybe the phone really does work on magic? However, I do not know what this option actually does. ._.


The 'Mons' option is essentially your E-monster Dex of the game.


Never has a dex entry been so interesting.


This was the turtle-like creature.
Who asked Bek 'is that a cute kid' and proclaimed that he would show us 'funny things'.


Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Telefang.

An explanation of stats and then some actual playing sequences - complete with battles - awaits in the next part!

Also this is a neat Telefang site for images like the above. (It came back to life! =D)

[bobandbill]

Part Three - Looking for NETARO
Or a lot of walking north in which for the patient reader, curry increase!

Spoiler:

BUT FIRST let's examine the stat screens to see what stuff means!

...or you can just skip the following spoiler! It's not that exciting.

Spoiler:

Not-Sandslash (whose name has been shortened for the stat screen...despite that the remaining two letters might fit in anyway!) is 'Knd wood' - of the wood type, in other words. His personality trait is also to 'get angr' (or 'angry'), which is also represented by the lightning bolt. It means that he'll sometimes 'attack freely' - attack without you telling him to do so! (And how about that - Telefang had personality traits before Pokemon had natures, let alone its own 'personality traits', and these actually affect how they act in battle).

LV is level, and you start at 5 with the starter e-monster (and max out at 99). HP is HP, FD is... a happiness trait it appears (friendship?) as it goes up upon winning battles and the such, and EX is EXP. Maximum you need to level up is 999, btw.


SP is speed, hit is attack, and fend is defense - obvious enough. Bolt however stands for 'special attack' - and what that means is the ultra-super-special-awesome attack only some (usually evolved) e-monsters get. 'Teleg' is the defense against such attacks, or so I assume...


And finally - moves (or 'strategy'). Dive is an attack (akin to Tackle), and Diverge boosts his attack - like Howl. The last one Not-Sandslash learns later! Excitement!

And so ends the exciting tour of the statistics. Time to explore the world!




We have a time display and whatnot at the bottom, while the signal strength showing changes area to area...and is actually pretty important. We have 500 BL... boring lives? Brown lyrebirds? Bloody limbs? Oh, and we have full healt-

OH LOOK TREASURE


Just when you think you've struck it rich, it turns out Bek is too weak to move a box. Or unable to climb over it. Even Not-Sandslash cannot do anything to it. Truly the toughest of obstacles.

I bet this is all the tree stump's fault.


'It is truly a exciting place. Can we go home now to watch the [baseball]?'


Aw, bugger. I guess we have to go help out then. That crafty turtle-lizard...thing.

It seems Bek already got his running shoes on though...


You can run so fast you cut the grass! And from the grass you can get currency and hearts! HMM, this sounds awfully familiar...


Suddenly, a KESI. Oh god that's not familiar in the slightest.



Ah, our first battle. Fight is...well, fight, Position means 'check out the opponent's stats and whatnot', and Escape is Escape.


Bek has Not-Sandslash as a friend, but nobody else... so sad. Anyways, during a battle you can call other e-monsters to help you, but if you don't have any other phone numbers, then you 'didn't call the mate!'


...Miao? Does this KESI believe it is a cat?




That was not very nice, KESI. =(

Ah, good old engrish. What it means isn't hard to figure out, but oh dear, what an awkward way to word it.


Despite being only one level higher, Not-Sandslash is clearly superior, dealing some 17 points of more lost!


Moves can also miss/fail!


The 'attacked freely' bit is Not-Sandslash's personality trait kicking in.


We have overthrown the KESI and caught it!



...well, not really - catching in this game actually means getting the creature's phone number (I assume you got a good glimpse of their phone...right?). But despite beating up this KESI to a bleeding pulp and giving it the inability to sit down for a week, it refused to tell us its number! How rude.


On the flip side, exp points get...and balls?

Yes - it turns out BL stood for BALLS. The currency of the electric-monster's world is ball!

And Bek now has 531 balls!


Yeeeeaaaaaaah.

As a side note - any HP lost in a battle can be regained by waiting, or waiting and mashing the B button. Take that, Pokemon Centres!


'Not really - they're far uglier and lacking in baseball. =( No offence, Not-Sandslash.'


Well, that's true, I guess - just look at Not-Sandslash!

And hey, another house - let's check it out.


'Holy baseball - a talking house!'


Oh god, this Takabi is really Frankenstein's monster!


I would not be surprised if he meant to teach Bek how to get phones to say hello. 'Why hello there, Mr Nokia!'

But no, Frankenstein's monster just rambles in a repetitive manner on what is super-effective against what with an attack of boring, wordy words.

Meanwhile, another KESI tries to fight us!


...eww. =(


After spitting its breakfast at us, the KESI decides that it would like to become friends!




Do you want the phone number of this...gray blob thingy?

...eh, sure why not.


Very good indeed!

Let's look at the 'dex entry' for it!


So it doesn't always come in this colour? Then why does it look like this!?! Yes, KESI, do go and hide yourself from sight. =(


Now whenever we have a battle, we can call up our new friend to fight for us! Yes - it's OK indeed.


This allows for wonderfully fun one-sided battles in your favour against opponents! And look, an OSIE shows up. Say hello, OSIE.


This means...that the attack was super effective. For the telefang bootleg, engrish increase!


Level up Grade raise!




These are such amazing stat gains!


Clearly this grade raising business impressed the OSIE.


What a wimpy entry.

That's enough of this showing of battles business for now - let's get moving and talking to people.


This thing tells us what types there are in the game. Not an interesting fellow either...


Yes, and it's once too many- oh hey a shop. I wonder what kind of stuff they sell here?




...ok, maybe they like mining or something?


It's not just a card - it's a P-card! But...what does the P stand for? Is this a Pokemon card?


Well this I can agree with-


What.

...or maybe this is the D Shoot everyone talks about? =/


Yeah, maybe we'll just buy the game for now.


Seems everyone is waiting for this NETARO bloke to deliver the water already. Maybe they should tell KESI to stop spitting breakfast in it - then it'll be cleaner! And look - a person who does not look like Frankenstein's monster!


Ok you're just plain boring and telling me things I already realised. =(


Bang Bang.


Oh? Why is that?


Gotta hate those horrible guies! (But actually, he's not lying...)


Oh joy.


That's the entire content of that phone call. Well, have you had sense, Telefang?

Let's just walk north already and get to that place.


It's a bird!


A very mean bird. =( Note that flying stuff is super-effective against Not-Sandslash here.


Luckily it was foolish and attacked OSIE who is strong against it! (Somehow).


I was...unaware that birds had teeth...


Hmm, shopping for 'D Shoot', maybe? =/ But let us investigate.


Yes, I think Bek is a human... not necessarily a bright one, but he still counts!


How rude indeed!

More talking reveals he wants to just make friends with the electric monster...but wasn't the thing complaining about him one? And why does he have 'no interest in human being'? Man, this game is confusing.


I don't even know anymore. Why didn't anyone buy him an alarm clock!?


By 'take care', you mean...?


So that's why nobody else wants to go wake him up? How rude. You're all a bunch of wimps. =(


Nooooo not more engrish!


Sometimes your 'friends' will call you and tell you what item a particular species may want.


'That is the kind even though are not able to use but prefer'. Okaaaaay. If I get a computer I'm keeping it for myself.


Yes, I'm glad you agree with me.


What has happened here that isn't strange?


I hate it when that happens!


I am not even sure what [Midew T] was supposed to have been in English...


Man, what a nasty guy.


...mood swings?


Yes, I'm sure it would.


Bek also demonstrates an inability to lift barrels (despite him holding a drill and whatnot back in the shop just fine).


A speech! I wonder if he'll tell us something useful...





Hi, Dr Nick!


Oh god no. A politician!


You know a politician is desperate for votes when he decides that he'll use a curry store as a way to gather up votes. But then again, half of everyone seems to be crazy, so.


Then he walks off after jumping multiple times.


I wonder who is the more confused - Bek, for meeting a politician who promised to build a curry shop so he can become the Prime Minister, or the e-monster who doesn't even know what is the thing that the politician promised?

Ok, moving on away from the crazy curry cult... oh wait, OSIE was one of them. D=


EGADS!


Suddenly, a hole.


Ah, we must be getting closer finally! Whenever you see silly statues with faces you know you're nearly there!

The next update should be no less confusing!

[bobandbill]

Part Four: Still looking for NETARO
Or wandering about a cave and finding out what a trainer looks like.

Spoiler:

Ok, let's get to exploring this place and wake up someone already.


And that's why you are running about in circles in this room, right? Gotta love helpful NPCs.


When you enter a new place, it takes extra time for your friends to reach you. And if that's the case...


...then sometimes you will be called during the battle to be informed that they will be late. How helpful.

While exploring, Kokia decided to share the following:


I can't say I know who or what BURTAMAS is but how does a screwdriver increases his exp?


So essentially, don't give him a screwdriver or he'll break everything with it.

The cave is hardly entertaining...no crazy mazes or the like.


See? Boring.


More water but still boring!


Oh hey a guy with a hat.


Not here, clearly...


'Well Not-Sandslash, you heard the guy. Let's go back and find some baseball!'


Only Bek then proceeds to look about and decide he's too darn lazy to walk all the way back. To be fair, this game is troublesome for him.


Ok, take a good look at the man in the overworld and what this 'KAKUZATO' actually looks like. The 'start to enter' bit can be taken in a bad way too.



He'll proceed to send out a monster to match your Kuribute and may call up to two others while you can call up to two other e-monsters too.


Of course both of mine decided to get lost, despite having found their way here before. The battle is easy enough though - Kesi is nothing to write home about.

Upon winning:


And then the guy runs off. But wait, that was the name of the politician who promised curry... hmm. Now we have politicians that seem to look like telefang's version of pedobear. Great.


Crossroads! Let's go down.


The creature sounds confused, and to be honest I don't blame him.


Let's give him a talking to then!


But we want to-


He places emphasis on his order by jumping as well. Bek is convinced by this jumping and hence you are unable to get past him. Oh well, going back up...


So now it is the trainer of fungi or mold they look for? At any rate, the door is locked and remains so for a good while, and is unimportant anyways.


Ah, a politician demonstrating how to use one's head. Hang the fact it's locked - open it anyway!


The politician fails.


How vague.


Yes, I can see you running into locked doors.


The politician leaves, and Bek begins to...think I suppose. At any rate, 'that guy' has the key. At least here it is not too hard to figure out who here has it as we've got a confused creature, a man running around in circles and an angry guy stopping us from going anywhere.

Let's go-


Suddenly a random battle from...

...um, what looks like a decapitated warthog. =(


An aggressive decapitated warthog, my mistake.


Damn straight.


So apparently it has limbs, but I still remain sceptical given the appearance and all. =/


Watching politicians run into stuff and encountering even weirder looking things.


Oh shut up already.


And by asked, I mean he kept talking about the history of this world until I said yes.


Hey, wait a second, Bek just said he was asked to wake him up, is all!


I think this is why MUSA asked us to go here instead of doing stuff himself.




I'm not sure why he wants to make a call when he doesn't call anyone else. Maybe he calls himself. 'Oh hey, NEJIRO!' 'Stop shouting my name.' 'Sorry, NEJIRO! Anyways can you beat this guy up for me?' 'No.' 'I'll be your friend!' 'Ok fine sheesh.'


Not that tough a battle on paper considering it's 3 on 1 in your favour, but it can be difficult if you haven't trained enough (he has a type advantage against Not-Sandslash) and/or you haven't gotten the phone number of anyone in the cave - because with some bad luck your friends get lost and it's one-on-one again.


Luckily that is not a problem.


Do what, exactly...?


Ah, he chose his super-awesome-special move, which is usually a one-hit kill when it hits. It however takes at least a few turns to charge (the DP bar which apparently stands for e-magic? is the display for that), and we don't need that long to win.


A fairly easy battle in this case. Take that, angry...thing.


Everything, I tell you! Because that's what one does when fleeing politicians. This puts everything in perspective - he probably mistook us for a politician. Maybe he doesn't like curry?


That's quite true...


NEJIRO continues to display thinking abilities. Durr hurr, you must be all politicians!


Bek's question prompts a lot of jumping.


Oh that's all right. I mean, you only repeatedly ignored what he said and threatened to kill us. That's an innocent-enough mistake!


'Ok, this is for your own good. Now go to sleep, or the politicians will get you!'

No, really - that's basically what he is saying. And you thought our pollies were bad enough. These ones kidnap and play dress-up.


Yaaaaay.


'Sorry about the whole beating to death business. Friends?'

Man, with friends like these, who needs enemies?


Yay.


And then he disappears, like a ninja or something. His dex entry tells us about him using a 'mo gun', whatever that is. (Mofo?)


Woot. Now to go open a door.

While travelling back, we get another phone call telling us HERIOPS likes propellers. And we also got our first instance of an e-monster learning a new move!


This is one of my favourite out-of-context telefang moments. Heck, even context doesn't do much to savage anything. After all, Telefang gives one the impression the translator may have been high or something...


Oh look it seems we found him.


Bek is pretty serious business about this - you can tell by the jump.

As a note - imagine this scene with everyone jumping after they finish and/or start speaking.


Wassup!


'Won't somebody please think of the children!?'


Well, he would if he could be bothered to walk here himself.


'What do you mean, water? Who is this Musa? Who are you? Where are my pants?'


Politician noooooooooo




It's nearly 5 in the afternoon. =(


'Won't someone please think of the curry?!'


We're not called Jimmy!


Politicians keeping their word!? How much crazier can this game get!?


He is very happy.


But-


Bek eventually interrupts the jump fest by jumping himself.


Not sure why he's hating on the confused Netaro...oh well?


'I mean, just look at all this...water! You could get WET!'


Them fighting words.


So much for being called Bek.


Suddenly a woman shows up.


...Are you asking Bek out, or asking for a battle?


Ah, a battle.


The engrish is consistent, but not any better due to that...


And suddenly the game throws a level 10 at you with an advantage over Not-Sandslash. Fun!




The rest of her team.


Luckily they take a few turns to arrive, and if you are lucky enough to win before everyone else arrives the battle ends.


Noriwuts indeed. Some strange owl-like thing that tells us to come here...I'll pass.


Already better at fighting than Nejiro, it seems.

Ok, let's try to kill it before the others arrive-


Bugger.

But at least the battle goes all right...


The pink-thing with a tentacle was defeated from healing! Somehow.

And soon enough...


Victory!


But why did you even-


Well there she goes.


Females do not exist in the world of e-monster!

..unless that was a he. =(


This politician does not know how to use a phone. Yay!


Let what happen, the losing or the running into doors?


...bye?


'I'll only sleep for a few days at a time in future!'


No.


'It's not baseball, I'm pretty sure! This is boring!'


Another number!


Gotta like that the one responsible for the water supply is a sloth.


...A sloth with missiles in its hair. Ok.


Outside, and straightaway we get a call. Ah well, it can wait until the next update!

[bobandbill]

And back to (re)updating this thing.

Part Five - Magical Trees!
Or MUSA tells us to do stuff for him after a lot of talking.

Spoiler:

So last off we got a phone call the moment we got out. This happens in the game a lot. How conveniently timed!


'Oh, nothing much. We just encountered some politicians and found out MUSA hired a SLOTH to do the water transporting. And there wasn't any baseball either.'


I like how Bek has to jump even when talking to someone through a phone. No doubt Sungki is also doing his fair share of jumping.


A rare moment when a full piece of dialogue make sense. Let us cherish this moment.


...Mr .MUSA? One thinks they took the Japanese text too literally here. Either that or MUSA has been having quite the, uh, influence on Sungki. Somehow. ._.


And back to our Engrish.


And so begins the fun trip back.


The CLAW.


Yes it has. Very quickly too. Great,


Great, is the phrase of the day it seems.


...Release what now? The person that was below has disappeared however so maybe this green dude isn't totally out of it.


Hey get out of our way, the sooner we get to the village the sooner we can get back and play BASEBALL! And besides... we did win? What are you talking about, random pink blob.


Sure, I could, but I don't really want to.


God dang it.


No this is not okay, you are wasting valuable baseball time. >:[


See what you made Not-Sandslash do?


Sheesh go away already.


...And he disappears without walking away or anything.


Well that's one quick sloth... and man, plain flavour is my favourite too!


If we didn't know that he was talking about unlocking the door or some-such that'd sound pretty wrong actually...


...

That's it we're talking to MUSA.


Yes, are you going to pay me anything?


Yes, because I was the only who could be bothered to go wake him up. Besides the politicians I guess.


Bek now assumes a 'yeah, it's easy, I'm so cool' personality here. Despite the fact he did none of the battling.


~I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST, THAT NOONE EVER WAS~
~TO... GET THEIR NUMBERS IS MY REAL QUEST...~


'They all agreed to follow the baseball team I support! =D'


There is something about the way he said 'good thing' that just doesn't sit well with me. =(


Suddenly, a tree.




So...what happened?


Sigh.


Magic trees! MUSA goes on to explain that you use the trees to teleport. Or rather 'to take a trip'.


All like Bek? Somehow I am not too sure... then again given what everyone else is like...


Wait, what? The powers... of doing what you say?


Mighty fine powers you have there, Bek.


You have to hand it to MUSA - he sure takes advantage of other people to do stuff for him...


How's Kelina's water supply going?


'SOMETHING'!? OH NO!


To the power!


I will also speak like a robot.


Implying that if I refused I would have been disallowed to leave the village. Lovely!


Yeah, things could be worse. I could go live with MUSA like Sungki does for THE ENTIRE GAME. Imagine all the 'good' and 'funny' things MUSA shows him, eh?


He gets too many 'clues' and many of them are pretty darn useless. =( Think of those calls from your Mother all the time in HGSS - he says different things but just as frequently.


"Like watch baseball? =D"


In other words - a good reason to make friends is so you can use them to call in favours! Remember that, friend - we'll depend on you!


And they leave.

This is a pretty good point to leave it off at, actually! Hurrah for getting past that uneventful, info-dumping scene.

[bobandbill]

Part Six - Kelina Village!
Or talking to a lot of weird people and things who want bombs.

Spoiler:

So, uh, last time we were told to go to this other town via the natural transportation system of GIANT TREE. I guess we go in...?


Well that was exciting. Wonder if they have any baseball there?



Different town, same music. This is pretty much consistent for a while.


Yes, we gathered as much from the giant floating sign above our heads when we first entered.


Yep, I can see that too, given all the busy-ness around here.


Well, can it? My guess is yes - the crazy, and the crazier.


TWO! Two kind of electric monsters! HAHAHA


Natural? What makes one natural? ARE HALF OF YOU SECRETLY ROBOTS!?


...so no Baseball monster, how disappointing.


More fight!


What lazy things they must be. 'Son, have you evolved yet?' 'I'll do it this afternoooonnnn...' 'Don't make me come upstairs!' But how do you evolve them?


Uh... I'm going to leave now.


LEAVING


Oh?


...okay. A guy who you never saw before likes some sort of gun, good to know.


Yep - how else would you get entertainment without someone just walking out of any old tree?


What do you mean, I just use one just fine... unless you mean there's another one in which case that makes more sense. Nobody wants to visit MUSA. =(


...that was quick?


So you were lying? But what key and who or what is Alice aaaaaaaaa.


I don't think anyone really knows what's going here.


Best house ever, guys. Let's try going down...


Well, I was only-


=(


Oh hey, it's that annoying person! Standing next to TREASURE! However they do not notice Bek, or just ignore his shouts of Baseball.


But there's clearly one right behind you, gosh. Why does everyone block everything this town sucks. =(


Oh hey, wild owl monster things here. Maybe we can try-


=( Even with the type advantage he ran! Monsters sometimes do that at low health.


Story time! (After jumping).


SANARBA... great name.


ADULTS MUST PAY IN SOUL POWER. Also you surely mean 'here', not 'there'. =(


No Bek, they're not a Baseball team.


Wait... a pharmacy company discovered this word?

I knew it. This is all because of drugs.

Nothing much else of note is said besides Bek saying that he is confused. Can't blame the kid. He is promptly advised to 'try to get more friends'. Oh, burn.


Oh not you again.


Oh no!


...uh. That's Manstl, folks - got a problem? No worries - he recommends giving your friends BOMBS! That'll solve everything! Remember it.

These random calls steadily get worse as you'll see. =p


Oh, this sucks... let's go and look for someone else to talk to-


AAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT ARE YOU GET AWAY


GUMI'S A CREEPER =(


Yes, thank you, Not-Sandslash. Overkill is always a good way to get rid of it. (Type advantage, yo). But god it has rolls of fat and


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


See, the fat doubles as protection from attacks. =(


I bet you this guy heard about how we should give him a BOMB.


Yep, how about that. Should we give him a BOMB?


No, I think a CLAW TO THE FACE is better. =(


More interesting 'dex' entries. At least this one kinda makes sense as it is based on an owl?


The grass is now DIAMONDS. (No, really - running fast to cut grass can find you diamonds. They're worth more ball!)


Yeah, you do that. At least you're not a creeper or want bombs.


Yeah, so did I...whatever you are. Mini cyclone maybe?


Why are you asking meeeeeeee and obviously we can't enter because he's - wait, he's a Gumi isn't he. =( No wonder nobody can enter with that...thing in the way!


Speaking of the devil...


Search sounds... uh. Actually I want to pick the 'not talk to you' option. Heck even baseball is infinitely better!


'Hurr durr, losing is fun!'


...ok? Anyways when monsters call you they may ask you questions. How you answer may gain or lose 'FD' which is happiness I suppose. (Why FD is anyone's guess...FrienD?). Winning battles can also increase it. What it does is...uh...not clear.


Ok, so he's in charge I guess?


Oh no! Shock! Horror! Oh the despair!


...I thought you just said...nevermind.

Let's check the shop first.




...Something looks off about these items...


Let me shoa you my stabs.


For all your Grim Reaper needs! And considering how much money we have look how affordable this stuff is! Great stuff for kids.


Fun for the whole family!


...uh.


Wait why are you calling me AGAIN


...I am not making this up - I looked at the bomb and then he calls me and decides to tell me ABOUT OTHER FIRENDS OF HIS THAT WANT A BOMB. GOOD GRIEF.

MANSTL WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM


What.

And then phone calls got even more creepy.


Oh god you also know. Stop trying to sweet-talk your way into getting a bomb!


No, pretending to be crazy or helpful ISN'T HELPING YOUR CAUSE.


Not-Sandslash pops up to warn us about our bomb-loving friends.

That'll do for this update.

[bobandbill]

Part Seven - Search for a Thief!
Or a lot of talking to someone and trying to find [Key]!

Spoiler:

So, last off we were being warned by Not-Sandslash... you could say that our bomb-loving 'friends' are rather, well-


Yes, well put, whoever is behind that floating text box.


Oh, it's another of...those things. Guess we ought to talk to it.


Bek sure does have a way with words.


Not the key! But I guess that's what was being talked about beforehand!
Gotta like that it's not clear who's asking 'who did so'.


...The prisoner stole the key? What prisoner?


Basically sums it up!


That's...real deep, man.


Yeah, you tell him, Bek!


Gosh, that's pretty pathetic of you.


See, even Bek jumps at the patheticness. Deal with your own problems!


Wait what.


God damn it Bek.


I mean... Well done, Bek!

But then again given how weird people are here... with our luck he'll just give us a bomb.


Guess we ought to go find our thief. Bek, who do you think stole-


Well ok.


But Bek that is a monster I doubt he even has pockets for a key.


See, no pockets!


Unfortunately SUKORI didn't quite think it had been a peaceful accusation.


Gotta like veiled threats!


Clearly SUKORI knows which is the bigger threat here - the oversized ugly Jabba the Hut.


Uh, I don't think it's a good idea to bite...that thing...


Well damn.


Nor it seems about what to bite or not. Clearly not our thief then because...well, he said so.


And then he disappears into thin air. I guess one can assume he died of food poisoning.


Oh look, that annoying person showed up! I just hope by 'leave it to me' she isn't going to try and eat GUMI too. =(




If you were referring to GUMI then we are also wondering the same thing.


Clearly Bek is none too pleased.


Quick, Bek, think up an excuse!


Well done, Bek.


Yes! Going to other worlds promotes you to the rank of 'ordinary!'


Uh...well, you see...


Well put, Bek. He's 'missing', all right.


I like how the game calls the thief 'prisoner' despite the fact one only becomes a prisoner when, you know, they're caught, not before. Unless we're talking about some poor confused curry worker who escaped and tried to use the key to get the hell away from this place... say Miyor, how do we get back?


Fat load of help you are. =( And yes, we said the same thing when he bit GUMI.


"You know the type - someone who has a moustache, evil laugh, a key and dislikes baseball, for instance. That's always suspicious!"


Ah yes, so there is.


Is that so! It's nice when Miyor is actually being helpful.


'Something happened', how specific.

After being thanked by Bek for being of big help:


Oh snap again! Implying Bek is not a good pal here, and then telling him to move.


And jumping for extra measure! =o

Pleasedontalkaboutbombspleasedontalkaboutbombspleasedontalkaboutbombs....


The left option really does make sense - we've no idea what he is talking about! Hurrah for random phone quizzes.


I... guess? And what is this Resu option?


Hurrah? Uh, let's just talk to that guard.


This is sounding rather like a religious cult...


...Are you ok?


To place emphasis on his not-okayness he jumps... and then this tune starts up!


Just in case the following screenshot didn't give it away, you know.


I like how he said 'shut up' when Bek has really said nothing to him. That and his choice word there.


And he continues to ramble to himself.


Ooh, and now Bek is the 'damned guy'... and he still wants to shut him up.


Ways in advance?


Oh.


I hate all of you GUMIS. =(


Normally that level would be of a worry, but given it's a 2-on-1 battle in our favour...

...and we have Not-Sandslash...


...who has a type advantage...


It's a fun one-sided battle lasting one turn. \o/


Maybe, but you didn't, so.


No.


Curses, he escaped under the veil of the text screen again! And look, a phone call! It's from Sungki as usual.


KAKUZATO had done sth. !?!? Oh dear!


Uh, firstly you're talking to Bek, Sungki, so you can refer to him directly. And do you mean 'where Bek is' or 'lived'? I'm inclined to think the former, but well, it's telefang! English good not!


And having entered the cave, we'll end this here! Battles and random phone calls await in the next update!

[bobandbill]

Doop de doop, holidays again, let's see how much of this I can get done then.

Also had to recently reupload and reupdate all the music links as the place they were hosted went under for good. =/ I clearly have all the luck! If any previous sound links didn't work please let me know.


Part Eight - Kelina Cave
Or Learning about Peach Boy and KAKUZATO

Spoiler:

So, we're in. Let's go and- at that point I got a phone call with more questions. I was lucky to save the game beforehand - certain phone calls are always in a specific order so this keeps repeating no matter which one calls me. Hence I could explore all the options and what is said for each one!


This is a [question]! Yes No

But who the frell is Peach Boy? Is he talking about this?

Spoiler:

Well uh, let's say yes.


Abuh. Is Peach Boy a Glutinous millet bun what.

The answer btw is yes. (Different e-monster asking this time)

Dwell on that for a bit.

And if we said no to that...statement about it hearing a story about Peach Boy:


Now that's just rude. =(


And then he asks us another 'question' about Peach Boy despite saying we do not know. Uhhhh...

Yes:

Spoiler:

Turtledove what.

No:

Spoiler:

I'm not even sure of what I am supposed to sense!

Possibly the most confusing part of the game dialogue-wise.


Noooo we don't need any more crazy questions! AAAAAAA


I don't know anymore I think my brain is bleeding.


What, is Peach Boy here?


Wait, what?


There's more than one of these KAKUZATO? Oh dear.


RODANSA - he's Cool!


Hurrah for a 2-on-1 battle. Just as well we got OSIE in the cave too, because anything else takes 3 turns to reach us! When RODANSA has the type advantage, that's pretty significant.


And hence the battle is easy!


From here nearly every 'trainer' battle results in you getting a phone number.


Whatever you say, religious cult member.


What is it? I wish I knew too...


Hey, you don't know either!


Le sigh. What are they even anyway? Aliens? Cosplayers?


Quick and easy provided you've done a bit of grinding beforehand. Not that we needed more owls though.

Moving onwards!


You should totally quit and just let me past without a battle.


Yes, it is troublesome-


Yet he still battles.


Owls everywhere! We now have all the owls. ALL OF THEM.


"First election, are you half study half work,". I'm sure he's trying to tell me something, but what?


I suppose Not-Sandslash counts as a thing.


Not more of them!


Wait, pals? If you mean those owls you can have them, I already had the phone number of one and frankly one is more than enough. Stupid bomb-loving thing...


Clearly having someone's phone number is serious business!


And so we meet the angry starfish.


Now they start having more than one creature! However theirs take a few turns to arrive, and as type advantages come into play...


We win before the other arrives, and hence end the battle early.


...let's just move on then, shall we?


I guess you mean the guy above you who I just beat up...?


How without grammar?


"The land of baseball!"


It's a dinosaur! A Cowardly one, but he has pants!


Similar story - easy battle, ended before the other creature arrives.


But then why does it seem like he is wearing pants...? And how does that even work - pockets on the feet? Man, biology sure screwed up a lot of things around here.


We defeated the competition? Can we not save the day anymore? Maybe the exit is onwards...


Curses!


Oh look, the bomb loving friend has returned, and managed to get the ]tags[ wrong as well. But look, a question even Bek can answer!


It seems the game suddenly turned into Baseball Trivia - now with extra owls.


"And by bat, I mean [Bomb]."

Anyways now we can continue-


Curses again!


Imagine your town or village or whatnot suddenly overrun overnight by KAKUZATO...whatever they are. =(


Try catching some proper grammar first. OH!


C'mon, I was only kidding.


Man, these guys sure are sensitive.


Oh cool, a scorpion! And something that has decent defence as well, notably!


It has scissors!? =o


Yes, I'm sorry too. Sorry that I've had to beat up all of these...things. Whatever they really are.


I understand the first part - this village is important location-wise and so he wants to have power here... only then it breaks down at the end. Or does he only want to vote that badly? I don't even. Sounds like crazy politician talk again.


Ramble all you like, you're still going to lose.

Say, OSIE, maybe you'd like to do something in this battle! Not-Sandslash is doing all the work here -what can you do?


Oh god what are you doinggggggg


I don't blame you, PUNIKA. =(

Note that being afraid is basically a status in the game - rather like being frozen in the Pokemon games. However on the turn you 'stop being afraid' you still can't do anything. Yay broken moves!


PUNKIA is quickly persuaded to join us.


???


I can't win TABASUKO. Aww. Like all the others he fades away after spouting his engrish.


Oh well, maybe this set of stairs leads us closer to TABASUKO or the exit or something. As long as its not the way to Peach Boy. I might just eat that millet bun.


Oh hey it's curry guy. I knew a politician was lurking about!


Why indeed? Wait, is this Bek saying this, questioning the fact that Mr Curry is suddenly here? Wow.


...I guess I'll let Bek go there?


Ramble ramble and then a swear!


Even Bek is shocked!


I think Bek had enough of KAKUZATO.


Our politician dislikes this allegation!


Give it to me you sure will!


Why is that [even in brackets?]


Either he's a wimp or TABASUKO said that she disliked curry. Oh well, we're almost there!


That was quick! TABASUKO must be in the next room - let's see what she is doing!


Uh... jumping about like crazy?


I guess that explains it?


She'll not be just a woman - she'll be a woman head! =o


She sure is excitable... ._.


Not seen - Bek jumping. But hey, she remembers his name!


One - he won the election in his hometown election. This redundancy is redundant!
Two - they're married/related!? Yet he is referred to as Mr NERIKARI so their names are different... uh.
Three - why should he be not underestimated anyways!?


...is it?


Oh, she calling for help. Typical.


What is that supposed to mean? Is she referring to herself? Does she think Bek is evil? Or is Bek talking? Thing is he did not jump then aaaaaaaa.

This game is confusing.


See? Logic falls to pieces!




Why hello there, snake with arms.


Good news - we currently have the advantage.

Bad news - if we can't knock out that snake before the others arrive it's a 2 vs 3 battle in her favour.


Thanks for the advice!


Ew, that's just mean! Get him, Not-Sandslash!


Wat. No, missing is bad!


And then he one-hits OSIE. =( Looks like we're-


And then Not-Sandslash one-hits him back?


Hurrah for the quickest and yet most murderous battle thus far?


Yeah, I'm surprised too!


Sorry.


She then jumps up and down a lot to place emphasis on this fact. You know, in case it wasn't obvious enough.


"The GREATEST head in all of the heads in the land!"


She runs off and never reappears again.

No, really, that's it from her in the game. But hey, we now have the key to the tree! Now we can go...somewhere else!


Yay, I suppose!


Yay agai-wait.

...


Yes, well put, Not-Sandslash. Remember: you didn't see anything.


I like how he's not sure of who he is any more.


How did he know what we just did?


Hint hint. I suppose MUSA told him to tell us to go help everyone else for him...

But that'll wait for the next update!

[Yuoaman]

What if I were to say I loved ImageShack like a brother? WHAT THEN?

[bobandbill]

Then I'd question you.

Part Nine: Off to Alice!
Or a lack of good judgement and more questionable NPCs.

Spoiler:

So last time we were told to keep going. I guess we should tell that guy we got the key back. And definitely not mention those revolvers.




What discussions? And I solved those problems! Keep with the times...whatever you are!


Who is 'he'? Typical NPCs making little sense.


Is it a ticket out of this place?


Reform card?


I guess they are like P-cards...?


Bek somehow knows (despite never having been here before) that these cards are the way to evolve stuff. Uh.... And yet he doesn't want to take them although that's not necessarily a bad idea...


'Don't let your conscious get to you - these magic cards are so cool! And shiny!'


Bek is showing a surprising lack of morals here.


Yes, they should. With something better. >:[ All we got for beating up a whole group of politicians as thanks were two cards.


I don't know what this way is, but I sure like the sound of that!


Meanwhile Not-Sandslash levelled up, yay. Not half-bad for this stage of the game tbh. Anyways, let's get out of here and to the next place. I want some food.


I guess it worked? But...why is the tree in a building anyway? True story - in my first ever playthrough I was terribly confused on where to go because of this fact - I made the mistake of looking for a tree like everyone said I should do. Key lesson - never trust anyone here!

As a beside, you may notice the screenshot is darker - Telefang has a day-night system! Not half-bad in fact.


Bah.


No.


The Miss...?


Cue image of a person stuck in a finger ring shouting for help. God damn bears! But apparently the answer is A...


Yes, such thoughts never occurred to myself either, tbh...

Hey, is that a ufo in the sky?


This is how switching your 'main e-monster' works. They get abducted by aliens and fly off only to be replaced by...wait a second...


GODDAMNIT I guess there's no getting around it - he wants his BOMB. =( And now we have a card that evolves stuff...


...Are you sure you want to evolve, stalker owl?


WHAT HAVE WE DONE!?


...wait, what?

After all that bugging it only gives you some experience. Sure, it sounds like he got a lot...then you look at the number at the top there and see that it gave him 24, possibly less if this one took part in any battles. =/ Enough to go up one level, but although some items do evolve creatures, this one did not.

This is stupid let's just go to Alice already.


It's so hip and happening!


Excitement! Where's the shops so we can eat some fish?


Okay sheesh.


Maybe they don't like fish?


Hmm, no shop or sea here...


What a nice welcome! Maybe you're one of the sane ones who didn't drop out of english classes?


Yay! I think!


This Frankenstein's Monster lookalike fellow however...


Hey there!


Now, see, this guy's sentence makes more or less enough sense thus far...


Followed Vigina...? Trees live where? In the sea? Um.


What a boring house. =( Where's that shop!?


Well is there a food shop?


Yay, a town with no shop. Oh well, let's talk to random people! Might as well be friendly and all that jazz!


Well hi! =D


:<

I dislike this place.


And you're plain unhelpful. Way to state the obvious and what we've already been told!


Oh joy, another phone call.


Firstly, he refers to MUSA as a presbyter. If you don't know what that is:

Originally Posted by Wikipedia

Presbyter in the New Testament refers to a leader in local Christian congregations, then a synonym of episkopos (which has now come to mean bishop.

Secondly...MUSA wants a propeller?


ALL HAIL BISHOP MUSA


He heard fishing a lot!


Why is that?


His rambling may seem silly and whingy, but I assure you he's not kidding about that part.


...okay...


Well if they looked at you, Mr. Frakenstein's Monster, I don't blame them. No offense.


...you wanted to eat them? Good grief.


Whatever you say, talking house.


'Are good one, my friend just this one.' Powerful wording!


Maybe you also wanted to eat him? See, fish I'll eat, but electric monsters...yeah, no.


Oh hey a friend of Bek's apparently!


What kind of a name is Wunan, firstly? And Bek sure got friends all right - all by telling Not-Sandslash to beat them to a pulp until they gave us their phone number.


Oh no Bek get out of there he wants your card! Anyone calling you cool has a secret ulterior motive!


NO


That's rather rude. =(


"This [sea hole] was very historic! So much that nobody has ever seen it."


Nah, it's not like they live there or anything!

That's enough Alice Town people let's try going east a bit.


=o They have police here!? Let's tell them about MUSA.


Wow, uh... Actually I don't think they'd be of much help. The brains in our heads should also be take good care of!

Inside the house someone tells us that they protect the woods and that it is their headquarters. Yay.


...Good to know?


Cool, let's go check it out-


It's a pink Octorok?


A friendly one!


Hurrah for type advantages in our favour.


And now we have this thing's phone number. As long as he doesn't ask for bombs I guess?


???

Originally Posted by Wikipedia

Cupula also describes a structure surrounding hair cell receptors sensitive to hydrodynamic flow in fish.

ITS HAIR RECEPTORS CAN MOVE ANYTHING!!!


I would, but your text boxes are blocking my view of it. =( I bet he hid treasure there! Spill the beans!


You suck.

I suppose we can try to swim there? Let's go to the beach!


Hey, we can't enter the water! This sucks. Maybe this guy sitting here can help us?


No, that's just Bek. He's a random kid, not a man! Funny that he only noticed us when we talked to him.


See? Bek's no man, he's trying to run away-wait.

Nowhere to escape? But you just came from above...uh.


Will our hero be eaten by the e-monster from the sea? Will Bek manage to get past that invisible wall and escape from the thing that looks like a lamp from behind? WILL ANY FISH EVER GET CONSUMED!?

Find out in the next update!

[bobandbill]

Part Ten: THE SEA
Or a guide to remembering it.

Spoiler:

So last off Bek was being a wuss and failing to escape from a sea e-monster because 'Nowhere to escape!'. Somehow.


Yes, Bek, yes it is.


Or, well, ok to jump at any rate.


You heard the blue foul-mouthed vase-like sprite, Bek. Wonder what he wants to tell Bek, besides 'stop being stupid'.


...as one does. But he has a point - someone mentioned that there's no shop here.


Well, tried to say as much anyway.


Fine, we'll pay attention to you.


Well what's in it for us?


...So if we don't then we can't go swimming here.

Normally you'd have to go all the way back to first village to buy the 'game machine' for him. Luckily way back beyond the fourth wall in the 3rd part we already did that!

Spoiler:

See?

I guess we might as well. It didn't even have batteries.


Here, you sea e-monster, I hope you enjoy it.


Wait no why are you jumping on it.


Why would you break it gosh that cost me forty balls! (It really did!) That's as many as four tens, and that's terrible.


...fine, play it the way you want to.


Hello there, Not-Vaporeon.


And...why did you give us this?


And then he disappears. Apparently we are supposed to call him to be able to go swimming.


They sure do. Then they swear at you, ask for presents and jump on them before giving you their phone number.


Well screw you Not-Vaporeon, we can swim - err, walk in the ocean ourselves! Maybe we'll call you if we get in a battle.



The tune is not that great here, but oh well.

So people said the sea e-monsters were angry-


...wait, what? Go two steps and suddenly I...say what again?


But I don't even want a tree!


...well I guess a battle it is. Let's call that guy up then.

But Not-Sandslash, why did he say those things?


WHYYYYYYY


Good retaliation, Not-Sandslash.


Maybe he knows?


Sometime in battles, you'll get called by the creatures you call up, and they'll give you a message. For some reason it cuts short unless you mash the A button really quickly and have super-hyper-fast reading skills. The gist of it though is 'lol I'm going to be late' and they don't show up for a few more turns. Most annoying!

And this guy always does this. I bet he is too busy jumping on his game. >:[


However Not-Sandslash is very good at killing sea (water) types, so these battles are easy.


And then he disappears.

And...that's what happens in the sea. You walk about (because swimming is boring in the ocean), get shouted at by random monsters about trees and then they swear and shout 'remember it!'.


And just to put the icing on the cake the bomb-loving guy decides to call me again! I'm not sure why I'm getting so many calls from him...


My brain, it is melting.


Luckily the wild random encounters (ie battles not caused by someone shouting at you) don't involve swearing.


Translation - 'I accidentally the directions so I'm going to be late! '. Oh well, we can beat this guy too without-


AAAAAAA


ARE YOU OKAY NOT-SANDSLASH


I can't blame you there.

What just happened is why Mantea is actually a pretty interesting e-monster. That move is called SHOUT which basically gives the status of (being) 'afraid' to the opponent which renders them unable to do anything.

Although the effect is only temporary...


...that in itself takes up a whole turn. It's a nasty move, although wonderful if you abuse it yourself. =D


FINALLY whyever are you late!?


Well then don't jump on your flipper next time, gosh.

What moves do you have anyway?

BITE does minor damage as this guy's attack sucks, COLDGAS is a lame status and RESUME is minor healing.

Well you're boring. We don't really need you anyways as Bek can apparently walk on water.


Not-Sandslash can kill stuff in one hit anyway here!


Oh hey he was also a high level AND gave us his phone number. Excellent. You are our new best friend, pink tentacle cow thing.

These sea e-monsters are not that bad after all!


I spoke too soon.


Why won't you listen to me!? I don't want your stupid trees.


Pointless trying to reason with these guys. This one is pretty poor defensively.


I don't want to remember that! =(


AAAAA GO AWAY


Overkill is always nice. (They don't even have 64 HP never mind 128).


Yaaaaaay lots of stat boosts this time around.


Why does everyone keep saying that?


You guys suck.


FISHMAN.

No, seriously, just look at that thing for a moment. Then turn away. Back to Fishman.


Unfortunately, he's also weak.


And rude like the others.


Meanwhile in 'other reasons why MANTEA is cool'!


Essentially it can hide and avoid being hit for a turn or few. Kinda pointless if it's on its own as it can't attack during hiding, but potentially useful if you have it in a team and the opponent tried to attack it.


You suck, LILIAO(B). (Whyever it shortens their name in battles is beyond me).

Now, I COULD repeat what happened here over and over besides the interesting parts throughout this whole trip, or I could give you the condensed version of what happens.

I'm opting for the latter.


This line sums up Bamu Sea basically!

So I spent a bit of time grinding. Not that I had much choice:


=(

Some weren't very bright though.


???

After that straightforward battle though:


Wait, what? Well... let's do it!




SO EXCITING


AOKUTERU! The...taller pink elephant tentacle thing!

More stats are gained with evolution and sometimes new/replaced/renamed moves. It's generally useful to have your creature evolve.


What useful advice shall we get now?


...


Now, at one point in THE SEA, you can go either right or left. The former leads you this this door (in the middle of the ocean mind you) which is locked. Oh well, time to backtrack a bit.


During that we got this guy's help too!


I can't say I know exactly how that works...


Going to the left leads you up to this guy.


Amazingly he doesn't ramble at you about forgetting pain from wounds and whatnot! This guy is basically the nicest guy you will meet here.


Ignoring the fact that there's a tree in the middle of the ocean and the completely left-field-ness of this bit of news (what guy?), a bit of thought can possibly explain the ranting of everyone else - they naturally assume you were the guy who was going to go wood-chopping. For some reason.


...and Bek seems to have a swollen ego now. T mildew if you remember is a term for people who use 'e-monsters well' - basically good trainers here. But Not-Sandslash has done all of the work, Bek, not you. Besides:

Spoiler:

You're a coward Bek.

Apparently the other guy, whoever he is, is pretty good. Not good news for Bek.


At least Bek knows the right question to ask here.


The jump is for the fact this guy realises Bek has allowed himself to again be the hero of the day. What luck for him! You'd think Bek would have figured this out by now.


...so I guess that door has the tree behind it. But how do we unlock it? =/ Remember Bek, we don't have a key for it and it was certainly locked.


*facepalm*


No, that's being lazy of you and also avoiding the issue. The 'usual way' is locked and you clearly don't have the key or you would have given it to us. Besides, this is a piece of cake!





That showed him what a piece of cake was. Now tell us already what to do if you're too lazy to do it yourself already, without lying.


Oh, NOW he says it's difficult! How about that.


Wait cave I though we were talking about saving a tree?


...Okay...


Interesting choice of password if I do say so myself.


Everyone depends on Bek - he is the world's buttmonkey!

Well I guess we should check out that house that needed a password then! To get to a cave...for some reason. This game sure likes to skip over the details.


Blah blah password let us in already.


Translation - press A for no reason before walking in!


But I was just in the sea!

F
loating island...? Wait, I though you'd just take me to the place-




And then Bek seriously trips out, as the onslaught of engrish finally takes its toll on him.




THE SEA is continued in the next update! Did that make much sense to anyone when the wound heal? You say it again! Remember it!

[Yuoaman]

Strangely enough I live in the sky and fly in the sea.

[bobandbill]

Part Eleven: Enter BOUNDARY
Or that guy with a really good theme tune who hates trees.

Spoiler:

Last we were teleporting away...somehow. Wherever shall we end up?


Oh, this place. I guess we can go into the cave there now!


A strange pot/button...thing is inside, next to a coffin? Huh. Jump on the button, Bek, maybe we can make a thing happen.




Suddenly music! I'm not sure why it plays here and hardly anywhere else (if ever!) but...well, there it is.


I don't know how standing on a button makes the gate an ocean away open, but let's not question it! Let's go back outside then - standing on the coffin probably won't help us. (But who's telling us the gate is open...?)


Hell to you too, Sungki? You seem unsure of your name?


No.


...And that's all Sungki wanted to say, and Bek doesn't even answer before the call ends. Abuh. I wanted to see Sungki's reaction to wikipedia saying Mildew is a type of fungus. =(


LOOK SPARKLES


Standing on the magical sparkly island simply makes the teleportation sequence happen again and takes us to the beach.


See? Not very exciting. Nor is the trip back to the antenna tree gate - I trust you remember what happened in the sea.




Anyways, we get there and...the music cuts out. Huh. And then a phone call!


"Sorry about hanging up before, I dropped the phone in a toilet."


Oh boy... Mr Bek, I like starting every sentence with your name. I'm also wondering why Sungki is using the plural there (you'll see why that's odd in a sec...) and how he knows this anyway! And "let's hide?" He's far away!


Wait what?


SUDDENLY A SWOOSH SOUND


And then this guy jumps off and lands.



Meet the rival!...Okay, well, "rival". He has one of the best music themes in the game though!


Well, hi there! I see your name is also partial to CAPITALISATION. (Why is Bek and Sungki immune to this?)


...wait, what? Okay I guess this is the guy who wants to chop down trees.


Bek dislikes this!


'What is it'? What is what, Bek?


In other words - 'we don't need these magical living portals to other parts of the world!' Or, well, we don't need thing like that anyway.


An alternate translation of Bek's jump.




I guess so!


A real you!!


Then his e-monster lands. Not-Sandslash, why can't you fly?


Woah suddenly perspective of the rival in an overly-epic fashion!

...Man, no offence, BOUNDARY, but... you ugly. =(


Also it does not match his sprite that vest-or-whatever was white and black. =/


This actually looks kinda cool though!


He's Knd Sky. y!

...Oh bugger that means he's strong against Not-Sandslash. He's also stronger than any of our monsters in level.


Time to point out a flaw in Telefang - despite having evolved pinky's name remains the same as his first stage's name...rather than this:


Anyways!



The other two monsters arrive straightaway, and hence you might, with it being a 3-on-1 battle in our favour, think this will be an easy battle.


Hahahaha....nope.


And despite having a type disadvantage, Not-Sandslash is the hardest-hitting out of the e-monsters on our side. Well bugger.


And there goes him, because ANJIOSI is faster than everything else and thus can move twice before them at times!


Luckily this guy is on our side - time to exploit the broken status system!


I can't say I blame him there for being afraid.


Although he usually recovers the turn after, it takes the full turn...


Allowing BANLES - whatever it is - to attack...


While we show that the best way to win a fight is to have a pink elephant-with-tentacle creature shout very loudly at the opponent!


Almost there!


Luckily pinky here is also surprisingly bulky.


Unfortunately, he manages to miss. With the attack 'hit'.

A few more misses and hits endured though, and:


\o/ I will say that I was kinda lucky that SHOUT worked as much as it had in the battle though - usually this is quite a tough battle (unless you specifically train some e-monsters which would have had a type advantage).


And then our opponent disappears, but not BOUNDARY.


Where's the full stop or exclamation mark? =(


Bek agrees.


"Just over-sized strange looking creatures with phones!"


This says something about Bek's other friends...


BOUNDARY seems slow to catch on.


...Yes, you lose today.


Then he uses the tree to leave. I guess if he can't chop it down, he might as well use it? Anyways we now will not see Boundary for half a game. No, really. Great rival, huh?


Bek realises BOUNDARY stole his wallet.


This is basically becoming a catch-phrase, isn't it.


...But...okay, first he tells us that this guy was coming somehow and now goes back to 'durr hurr what's going on over there'.


Bek has many more jumps to make in the future of this game. Many, many more.


I wonder if Boundary had brought an [AXE]?


Gotta love Sungki - 'that sucks but hey you should go visit this city!!!' And...what guards?


And then he hangs up.


Well it's not like we have anything better to do! Check out that name of the city btw... yeesh.


So concludes this part! The next contains a lot of shops and a competition! Excitement!


(The YOU'RE KILLING THE TREES image is from hiimdaisy comics, yo).

[bobandbill]

Part Twelve: The City of Shops
Or...well, a lot of shopping and acquiring the killer pony.

Spoiler:

Let's check out this place...


You can tell when towns look the same to each other. Same sort of grass, path, etc so far for each one! It's also got the same overworld theme... although that's not necessarily bad because it's a catchy theme. And oh look, it's one of those politician people. =|


No Bek, don't talk to him it's a trap!


>_<


Doesn't look like they gathered here.


Bek sure is excited about the fungi gathering! Notice how Not-Sandslash is keeping his distance from the two.


(What's the rule then?). Anyways, I don't think it's that funny. =/


Screw the forest, we can have our large battles between creatures wherever we please! Although I am sceptical about having a telephone battle there. =/


...Come out?


Maybe it just means 'jump'.


Well done for having that name? "Congratulations, you sure earned it."


This just comes off as weird personally, the way Bek is declaring his happiness. I bet it's this politician's fault. =(


I like how he ignored the question.


Hmm, just maybe, Bek, just maybe...

However Bek stops dwelling on this and instead GOES SHOPPING. Because to be honest there's not that much of interest here and the competition serves very little - well, nothing - to the confusing plot here.


.

A technology-themed store! Other gadgets include Video, Computer and Mouse. Not very interesting and one wonders why you can buy them when you cannot use them yourself.


As a minor note, a red-hat guy now appears in the green-hat pollie's place! Abuh. But a phone call...?


...No, not really?


They must be too busy telling Bek to get more friends or chasing political careers.


...STORM wants a computer. Right.

But how about that - look at a computer in a shop, and they call you about it just like with the bomb. This never happened when I played the game before, I'm pretty sure. =/


Maybe Bek is not the only one who is SO HAPPY about a phone competition.


More engrish, please.


Great competition. But he doesn't quite tell the truth - everyone else in the competition just stands still and waits for you to battle. =/

Let's look at that other shop!


Ma-gun? Machine gun.


This sure is a strange shop. Machine guns, Sabres...


...Why is this in the shop.


MUSA probably already has one himself.


Yeah, I'll just buy these, thanks.


Easy in what way? Did he give you the winnings?


Rare things!? Like what, the Guide to Speaking English Gooder? Clearly this guy already has that because his sentence is all right, but the previous person...he needs it in this way.


Yay pointless houses.


The Politicians! But... [Clean vote]?


How specific.


"With this, even you can be a ninja!"


Battery...for what?


More of thes P-cards. They're actually good for grinding for exp later on in the game but not so much now.


I guess it's better than a shop selling machine guns to kids...


The owl's name shows up again!


Ah, the usual NPC-blocks-the-next-route ploy. With extra engrish. I guess we will over the competition before go ahead from here by pass through then.


And this guy confirms that that way being blocked is what we will go by after the competition. It takes us to Palan.


Thanks, random e-monster!


Boy I sure am excited by these phone calls.


I bet he's a advertiser. Not a very convincing feature for a new phone though - that's it?

As for the fourth shop:

I hope it's just a toy crane. You know, instead of a real one... Actually a real one would be kinda cool to have. Unfortunately the tire is as big as the crane. At least these are named normally, but...


What the frell is a Tsita.


So much for moon rock or stone or whatnot - no, the translation is Luna.

One would be forgiven for forgetting this is a game about making monsters fight for you by getting their phone number.

Nobody else says anything of interest here and so we go into the forest!


So much for taking a shortcut. At least the Engrish here is consistent...?

Now, you can encounter wild e-monsters here before taking on the competitors which helps because they can come to the battle straightaway instead of 2-3 turns or more to just arrive. Grinding is a good idea though because of one specific wild e-monster who will mess you up badly without some grinding but is the best friend to have.

To demonstrate!


They're of the land type and have no mercy.


So you start the battle with having to wait for your other two e-monsters.


It's faster than you.


Its attack animation is always fun to watch. (It looks far better than this gif).


Bam, half your health.

So how much damage can you do to it?




Even if its defences aren't that great it doesn't matter.

It also has access to a move called GRIND which is basically the same as SHOUT. If ever you don't feel like just winning straightaway it can just status you instead.

So yeah, grinding is needed! (You have little access to type advantages over it too. Of course one could just use a really fast one to be able to run away from it in battles, but that's no fun).


Stop interrupting my grinding.


Ah, it's 'inane questions time'! Let's say yes.

S
ee, that statement makes no sense! Neither do the options! AAAAA


Thanks... I guess? Selecting the first option to both apparently was the right thing to do!


I like how he's telling me about an item that won't do anything.


Well, who wouldn't want a ray gun?


"Why do you keep calling me?" and "Now I want a ray gun."

During said grinding I had a few more encounters, one which involved me getting it down to 1 HP from a critical hit only for it to run away. But then:


And so:


And with some luck:


Yay! And if you think MLP is awesome:


Whelp time to win a competition.


Not shown - a walking-around-the-clearing sequence. And why is it 'call me' when you're standing a metre apart from each other. Kids these days...


This battle stars tree trunks and some water.


The only place where we get lots of unique trainer sprites! As a note - they get weirder.



(The game doesn't consider the competition battles to be that important apparently).


Normally the type-disadvantage would be a worry.


And so ends the battle.


This guy wishes he had an awesome horse.


One down.

There's other wild e-monsters of note - maybe not power-wise, but say:


WHAT IS IT


Whatever he is, he's pretty smart!


For those who do not know: "The oxter is the part of the human body right under the joint where the arm joins the shoulder." Pity wikipedia had to mention 'human body' because this surely isn't human. =(


Ah, but do you have an overpowered horse?


No, you just look weird.


Ah, the owl as mentioned!


That was fun.


Not-Sandslash sure is enjoying this.


And now he's about to become more useful!


I like how the only changes are a few more spikes, some shield-things to his arms, a bit more weight and the B changed to a P. At least BigMon is accurate! Dos this make Not-Sandslash Slightly-More-Not-Sandslash?


They seem oddly happy about losing.

I'll just end it here then - the rest of the competition shall be covered in the next update!

[bobandbill]

Part Thirteen: The Continued Competition
Or seeing how weird some trainer sprites get.

Spoiler:

Last off we beat the 2nd person and Not-Sandslash evolved and got a bit of weight and a P to his name. Onwards to more victory!


Do you?


Is that a yes?




Try looking at that expression closely there. She seems very...surprised or something.


Go, Dodo's cousin!


This'll be easy.


Surprisingly it is a water type and so ends the quickest third round ever.


I suppose we know how the Dodo went extinct!


Damn straight!


I don't know why they keep telling me to 'keep moving' to get to the next round... Maybe they think that I'd just stand there?


Hey let's continue standing here and-wait-

.................
The owl happen again, of ALL PLACES!


So he wants to be more machine-like?


Okay, thanks for telling me - I'll be sure not to give him that.


Aww, no short cuts allowed here either in this way. =(


...Sorry that you're sick? Just don't sneeze on me.


And this part of the comp is where the trainer sprites get especially weird. I mean, look at him. And he's called NOISY as well...

What him riding a tiny car has to do with him having 'got a cold' though is beyond me.


Naturally his first e-monster is the one that looks like a beheaded monkey. =(


Thanks for the hint!


The battle wasn't very exciting with Not-Sandslash and Killer Pony.


Jumpity jump-jump.


Gee, it's not my fault you have a bad cold - stop trying to make me feel sorry. =(

He also walks away unlike his sprite suggesting he has a car I don't even. =/


Encountered this guy in the wild but I did not get his number. I kinda like his look though.


Wait, why are there two people here?


So... the T fungi gentlemen the top alternates...to what?


Fine I'll let you finish.


What, that's it? Okay, can do!


Why are you still jumping.


Uh...who are you talking to?


WHY DO YOU KEEP JUMPING


So are we to fight...?


aaaaaaaaaaaaa


...So you're reporters? Reporters in uncomfortable poses?

I...I don't understand.


Why does this bird's leg not actually attached to the body correctly what.

Now, this battle actually is harder because they have more than one e-monster at the start! =o


I kinda feel sorry for the poor thing.


And then it fires petals or...something at me. =/ It's very fast but that's basically it, besides the type advantage thing.


Strangest looking 'mouth' attack there...it also should have attacked Not-Sandslash but I'm not complaining about bad AI!


Now, this is a neat move here. It doesn't do that much damage, but it has a decent chance of this:


And it can't do anything until it heals itself - like being scared from Shout. And that takes up an entire turn in itself!


See?


Yeah, while you're there...


Somehow it survives!


Not for long though.


Go!, says the OSIE, as it raises its defence. =/


Oh no it's doing something!


It looks like it could be-


...Oh. Like anything in this game needs more of that.


Bye.


Okay.


There's nothing quite as satisfying as winning by using Hoof, seriously.


\O/


Sore losers.


I guess they came from the ocean...? Anyways they disappear and we continue onward!


Two questions with the same answer:

WINNING.


Or jumping if you're Bek, I guess.


So winning.


Bek... at this stage everyone here is being called T Mildew. =(


I wonder why this guy stayed here. I mean, if he walks in, he would win!


Instead he prefers jumping at Bek.


What a...strange looking guy.


This guy is an evolution of OSIE.

No, really.


3-on-2 battle initially so it's kinda in our favour, although you'd think with this being the final battle it may be harder than the previous.


Oh wait.


How about...


Winning.


No, buy your own alcohol to drown your own sorrows away! I'm too busy winning.


Why are you here.


No seriously why are you here.


Damn straight, Bek.


...Yes, we've already realised.


THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!


I like how it became a [term!].


"I'm just a hard working honest man! I have five kids!"


Bek being smart?


...Change Jimmy?


And he makes a run for it. Should we go stop him, Bek?


Clearly he has more important things on his mind.


WHAT COULD IT BE


...


That's it?


OUR PHONE NOW HAS A PURPLE/PINK TINGE TO IT

AMAZEMENT

Worst competition ever.


And it doesn't stop these spam calls either!


Well naturally if you have a Ray gun you're able to kill stuff quicker!


Strange place for an autograph, but okay!

Let's start heading to the next place then, I guess!


God darn it. If anything this new phone is worse!


WHY ARE YOU ALL TELLING ME TO GIVE YOU GUNS SERIOUSLY


I guess that'll be in the next update thanks to Netaro here. (Hey, isn't he supposed to be delivering water anyway...?)

[bobandbill]

Part Fourteen: Entering The Desert!
Or discovering that birds and snakes don't like each other.

Spoiler:

So last time we won the competition and Netaro finally stopped talking to us. Let's get out of this unfortunately-named 'city'. Or M-City.


...And we begin with someone (maybe Bek?) shouting about what. Damn it! I hate whats. >:[


Maybe it was this bird though.


No Bek you said What. =(


Well... given snakes are known to eat birds (and vice versa in cases) is this surprising?


Bek derps a herp.


One - I like how he ignores the question.
Two - oh god. 'start a new life in Virgina'.

Engrish, how you amaze me.


Uh, bye then? I guess he can't wait.


[Is it?]


And then he leaves after the Farewell Jump.


At least it's clear what you should do here, but first we'll explore this little stretch.
Head into the ocean for instance, and...


...We find ourselves by Bamu sea! Or well, outside its barriers. Let's check that map now that we have filled it in a bit...


So M-city is to the west of the sea and Alice, while Tulunk and Kelina is on the left side of the map. Teleporting trees, how do they work.


...How exciting? =/ There's nothing in the water at any rate.


Yay, Palan is near already.


Okay...? Maybe that's why this guy is standing outside of it then.


But first a slight detour to a house I recall.


Or well, cave-house. At any rate idk why it's here but I suppose it is worth showing.


Why is that, random NPC?


Too much...? And because of that he put [something] here. Uh, okay.


Why is this important.


And that's all you find out from here. This always confused me.


Oh not you.


I never said that. =/

Anyways I also discovered some different e-monsters in this area I didn't know were here before.


Like this guy! If you want awkward designs, look no further than HERIOPS. Unfortunately i didn't get his number in that instance.


I got bird-head's number though!


So in other words it pecks stuff.

Other creatures included some ones we have also seen before:



And with BAIBU:


And after a while:

...A bottle in its shoulder? Uh.

And during that all:
\o/

I could switch to BAZERI and make the game very easy (except in sections with necessary grinding) but I'll be sticking with Not-Sandslash.


Oh look, a welcoming committee!


Are you blind? =|


Bird, there's a snake right next to you, you know. =/

(The bird family)

...They really don't like each other. =/


At least this fellow has an okay grasp of English, isn't rude or blind.



Different town music! It's alright I suppose.


However this seems to be the bird's side of town. It also has a shop!


You never know when you need to clean up that sand in the desert.


It's a desert - what are you going to chop down, cacti? =/


Blah blah generic card item in most stores.


You know, for a world reliant on phones it's a bit odd this is the first time we've seen one being sold...


Look at that, and then realise he's saying the leader of the birds lives north of here. =/


I hope he knows better English than you.


I'm somewhat sceptical of that.


Just their fangs, right?


WOW! REALLY?


I would have never guessed!


Bah.


Snakes are beautiful to you? Also, Bird Snake?





I suppose he meant 'lived'.


Or maybe not? Idk but I guess he was the one who 'said' it. =/


Hello to you too. Why do birds also need to jump?


Yes, you sure are a bird brain. :V


Bek doesn't like my jokes. =(


Blah Blah Bek then proceeds to repeat what Gangbanao said.


Yeah, we kinda figured that out for ourselves...


...That's a good question!

...


So basically they're having a big war and nobody remembers why.

What.


Bek also thinks this is stupid.


FRIENDSHIP SOLVES EVERYTHING


???


Everyone loves making Bek do stuff for them.


Silly Bek.


But at least we get something from it? I hope it's better than the last prize. =/

Let's see what everyone else thinks of our plans.


I consider you as [The speaker of engrish].


Then you can sit in a tree and the snakes could drink all the water! =D


Croaked?


Well you're a stick in the mud. =(

Nobody else in this town is on any interest either.


Uh... screw you.


Oh look, snakes! Time to begin Operation FRIENDSHIP!

...In the next update!

[bobandbill]

Part Fifteen: Bearer of Peace!
Or fighting people to convince them to stop fighting. Go figure!

Spoiler:

Let's talk to the snakes, I suppose.




What are you trying to say? Come on, try and put some effort into your words!


See, that's better.


Well, birds DO live in trees normally...


I'm not a bird. Or guies. =( Yay for trying to be grammatical correct with the plural of guy and failing!


So why are you fighting then? Do you know?


You're not helpful at all. =(


At least you can say habitat properly, I guess...


...machines? What sort of machines? =/

Oh look a battle!


Wait... you're not a bird or a snake.


TAMPAL is confused by the lack of snake.


Silly TAMPAL.


And yet you don't have any water apparently.


What is this 'machine monster'!? Is it stuff from their shop? Or maybe if it is considered a pal of theirs...

Spoiler:

The scary thing is this wouldn't look too out-of-place as a Telefang monster...

Or maybe the owl is the machine monster. =/


Far away from you.


Yes-

And then he hangs up. Strange call. =/


...what? Your...angel...?


Yeah you guys creep me out.


Ah, here engrish starts to take a turn for the worse in this part. Because if you look...


...you can't go to the left. The house is actually to the right. =| What do you have to say for yourself?


...


Greedy. =(


Damn straight it's here- wait, what do you mean? I'm bringing peace here!


No... 'I' may go there. You can just stay here, stupid snake. =(




I like how he has a bed.


'Things like mankind'? =/ Sure, Bek isn't good looking by far, but that's harsh.


Now you hurt his feelings.


Because war is stupid and all!




And suddenly the music changes. =/


But I'm a friendly messenger! Didn't you hear what I said?

Obviously not. =(


Oversized snake, go! And yes - we really are having a battle because the snake fails at listening.


Despite a lack of proper grinding, three against one ain't so bad, even if pony of awesome has a type disadvantage.


Oh wait this is kinda awkward.


And so BOZUARU decides to aim his strongest attack at the bird. Only it takes several turns to charge, and it's not a good idea to use it when you're outnumbered. And so:


Stab stab stab.


Delaying the supermegaawesomeattack is fun. =D

But you know what else is fun?


This.


Yay relatively easy boss (if you know what you're doing at any rate).


Either he's all 'why I no win' or 'why nobody else help me'. Note also that we called TAMPAL (you know, the bird) to come and help. He got past the guards and all with no problem. =|


Bek says SCREW THE RULES he has jumping.


FRIENDLY- oh wait how do you say friendly in engrish...


Jump.


Sure you did.


Yay jumps of celebration time this sure was easy and quick.


Why are you jumping.


What? W...why not?


What.


What.


But...I mean- There's a war- a toy- oh I get it it's a joke. Right?


You're serious, aren't you.


Can we reconsider?


Ladies and Gentlemen; this is why this is a stupid part of the game. Well, particularly stupid.

(Wonder what [Toy] was in Japanese though?)


Well the snake leader is a prat.

And now for the game to get confusing!


This implies that the bird here has it and all, right?


...Well?


Suddenly he doesn't have it? =/


...Come again?


HE TOOK IT OKAY JUST GO GET IT.

And if you talk to him again:

...yeah. =/ It's like it's both badly translated AND out of place or...something. =/

Anyways at least we know what we have to do. I guess.


How do you not know we just had a battle.


...Okay, I already did twice? =/

Anyways basically what you have to do is backtrack to the cave at the end of the phone competition. Fun!

ON THE WAY THERE


It's obnoxious question time!


Let's give obnoxious answers!


...

WHAT KIND OF OPTIONS ARE THOSE!?


APPARENTLY 'WELL' WAS THE WRONG ANSWER TOO WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT IT


AND oh look we found him that was easy.

Obtaining [Toy] in next part! Excite get!

[brane]

This game confuses me so much... KEEP IT COMING. It seems like some historical war between clans who use mobile phones to communicate with their digimon?

[bobandbill]

Originally Posted by brane

This game confuses me so much... KEEP IT COMING. It seems like some historical war between clans who use mobile phones to communicate with their digimon?

I intend to! (On that note if people remember the original pre-imageshack era - I'm not far from being caught back up to that. Not bad imo!)

I think that is not a bad attempt to explain it. Historical war is right, just that they never specify how it actually started. :V But they aren't quite digimon, these creatures are a different kettle of... well, maybe not kettle of fish. Just a different kettle. =p

[Razor Leaf]

Oh my god this is hilarious haha. I actually remember having this game on a bootleg multicart I had as a kid, along with (real!) Pokémon Crystal and like 100 other things. Good times, that.

..tho idk how none of the language rubbed off on me.

[bobandbill]

Originally Posted by Razor Leaf

Oh my god this is hilarious haha. I actually remember having this game on a bootleg multicart I had as a kid, along with (real!) Pokémon Crystal and like 100 other things. Good times, that.

..tho idk how none of the language rubbed off on me.

Hurrah for dodgy multicarts! They were the best things.

That's also probably for the best too. =p


Part Sixteen: Get [Toy] From [Badly named city]!
Or a fight that shows I should do some grinding.

Spoiler:

Let's get that [Toy] already.


No.

...Okay, yes, but not just to pass the time.


Yes, also to jump.


Good e-monsters best friends.


Truly a good reason to rejoice with a jump.


Punching the snake leader in the face seemed to work wonders!


Funny you should ask that! (Why is the question mark in the [tags?])


And why is toy capitalised?


So he has it! ...Maybe.


You mean there's more?


Well that was easy.


=|

Okay, let's think about this for a moment. All we need is a lousy toy to end a very long, and likely bloody, war. And this fellow doesn't want to give up his toy because he only has one.

No wonder you guys had the war in the first place!


What wait


*Sigh* Fine, let's get it over and done with.




Unfortunately... there's three things to note about the flaming bird here.

One - his superior level.

Two - he's far faster than anyone on my team, and has a far better attack than his prevolution.

Three - Only a two-on-one battle here.


I do have a pony though so let's try beating him without any grinding beforehand whatsoever!


'Sup.


Not as cool a move as Fly in the Pokemon games... but it's far more annoying. Any moves directed at him won't hit while he is flying, and he can come down at any time and attack straightaway. It's more annoying in multi-monster battles though.


He sure is.


So I guess I can only go for the boost-attack-option then.


Wait what?

Basically, this means my stat-boosting move failed, and I assume it's because KAOTES managed to stop it.

But how is that possible with a stat-boosting move, and especially when the opponent is flying far away at the moment? =/ Then again it could be just poor engrish yet again.


Well uh... as grind will also fail and RESUME is the healing move (pointless as I've taken no damage yet), I'll just go for ultra-super-mega-awesome move that takes a while to charge up. Hopefully KAOTES isn't flying when that is ready!


'e-magic' sure sounds fishy. Anyways, when that DP meter is fully charged up, the attack will fire.


Kinda impressive that Not-Sandslash survived that hit actually given the level difference and the type disadvantage.


Yay for dumb AI!


Type difference sure has a significant impact here.


What a mean game. =( I finally land a hit on a monster that can make two moves for every one I make and it calls me foolish.


Dang.


Naturally Awesome Pony dislikes this and so fires a missile at the bird.


And this is why the pony is awesome. Nonetheless I really should grind some more.


Yay.


\o/ About time!


No excuse to leave...actually, nevermind.


Why are you speaking like that, Bek? =/ And he IS bad. He wouldn't give up a measly toy to end an entire war!


Okay...


Time to go ALL THE WAY BACK.


That was quick. And did you have to say it like that? =/


On the snake?


Bek jumps anyway!


Why can't you do it?





Damn straight, Bek!


...More evolution stuff?


Yay for mutating creatures with items!


But it's not going to be tough at all. =/


Or is this what the bird head meant.


Sure have! Mmm... something.


Uh...


Hey, it's a fair question.


Only it seems Bek answers anyway. Which now makes me wonder if Bek was responsible for any part of the previous inane phone calls. =/


Time to delivery that darn [Toy]!


...On second thoughts, this IS a pretty neat gizmo...


...Fine.


Good.


Why would I show it to them? I'll just go use it myself. >:]


Yay for being friends and jumping, as opposed to fighting over nothing!


...That was quick - they replaced one of the snake guards with a bird already!


Opinions sure change quickly.


...okay...


Wait, what? Uh...

I sure hope that's another Engrish/poor translation thing there...


But who are you guarding it from then...?

I also sure hope you didn't go and declare war on another species. =\




okay.


Yes, a keen observation! Water makes snake LIVE! Water can HELP E-MONSTER!


But you're birds and snakes. You don't have arms.


I hope you don't aim to go and steal that toy. =/ And so much for showing you that key - no acknowledgement of that whatsoever. =(


...Do what?


You're welcome...? I think peace lowered everyone's ability to speak. =(


Again!?


Why is one of the options in the question!? And why are you calling me again!? You make me SO ANGRY!


You are a bother with your weird
spacing and ques


...


Yes, they are quite marvelo. One pretends to have items that he doesn't have and the other fights you for saying hello!


...


'Lol, what war? We've always been friends!'


I guess that ties up that loose end...? =/


...they sure have some strange love for that tree. =/


Where will it take us next!?


Exciting! We'll check it out in the next update!

[bobandbill]

Part Seventeen: Attack of the Telemarketers!
Or more requests for help from lazy people.

Spoiler:

Okay, let's see what's on fire here.



Also this is the music for this place. It is alright, I think.


Who said that? ._. And...no, it clearly isn't.


Oh, it's you. Give more warning before your phone calls.


Bek is ever informative.


How did Sungki guess the place correctly, and know what's apparently going on the island?


Seems pretty peaceful to me...


Oh look, a...sheep thing is in distress.


Bek sure is picking up on the local lingo quickly.


Wait, who are 'they' and what do you mean about the e-wave?


Yes, just go the way you came from, Bek. Quickly, before they ask you for help!


Or... we could do that ourselves!


Fine.


Productive!

Luckily Sungki calls and ends this exciting and radical attempt of Bek's at thinking.


'Well... it's very green!'


Remember, Sungki just called. This question without any context must be darn confusing.


No.


'And how much does it cost?'


No, you don't. Thanks for nothing, Sungki.


'It surely must exist so...go find it!' Sigh.


Bah, I told you to leave before they asked for help, Bek!


How boring.


What dispute? I don't see any disputing. Come, Not-Sandslash, let's go look.


So much disputing I mean just look!


Do what? But okay, I won't.


'Don't make trouble', he says, as he challenges me to a battle.


Luckily lone level 19 opponents are now pretty easy for us.


Oh, we do...


Anyways, you can beat up these rouge monsters all you want, but they just reappear when you come back so atm it's kinda pointless. =/

Instead, one should try the house!


Oh look, it's Miyor! The person Bek doesn't like much! I guess that's why he jumped straight away.




'Yep, nice to see the girl who told me to get more friends! Well, now I have a... well, a pink phone?'


Spacing!Missing


That's a good question actually. Why does Miyor suddenly have a house?


Uh...


Bek wisely decides to back away slowly. Although it comes off as a bit odd to do in the middle of this conversation...


Worth a shot I guess. I mean, given that we suddenly need to find such a e-monster and then suddenly bump into an old character, they must know something useful!


See? But how do you say 'Xinxi'...?


Of course, it begs the question - why didn't Miyor call this fellow up to save the day already anyways? =/


~!*one boring phone call later...*!~


Either Miyor began speaking in the middle of this after Bek started, or she talked to herself at the start. =/


And as quickly as the logic at the start of this game, she leaves.


That concludes this uneventful update! Before backtracking to Alice though we'll explore some more of Liz Island next time.