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Writer's Lounge Need advice? Want to give advice? Come on in and share ideas with your fellow writers. Just remember, all fics go in the main forum.

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Old June 22nd, 2011 (1:32 PM).
Lashh's Avatar
Lashh Lashh is offline
Pokémon Trainer
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: AZ
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Posts: 116
I'm after a beta reader as well.

Title of story: Legends of Kanto
Fandom: Pokemon
Plot Summary: Four children from Pallet Town on set out into the thrilling world of Pokemon, to face the perilous trials of the Pokemon Trainer.
Genre: Original Trainer
Rating: PG-13
Type of mentor needed: I am after someone who can help me with any grammatical errors, as well a proofreader.
Sample: Prologue (part of it, anyways.)
It was a very peaceful day in the town of Pallet. A smooth breeze blew through the town so warmly bathed by the slowly sinking summer sun. The mood was high for the citizens of this peaceful town, as the students attending the Pallet Pokemon School have graduated after a year and a half’s worth of hard work and learning the basics of the creatures known as Pokemon. Now that they have surpassed the basic level of Pokemon education, graduates now have the requirement to begin their own journey through the beautiful land of Kanto, where legends are born.

Only three students graduate from the class at a time, the top three pupils. These three individuals passed the tests issued by the town’s Pokemon expert, Professor Oak. With each group of three graduates, the Professor gives one Pokemon to each individual, granting them each a proper head start for their upcoming journey.

The top three students in this years class are Blue, who was an obvious contender for graduation, being the grandson of Professor Oak. However, the boys smarts prove his worthiness, scoring close to perfect on each major exam. The second upcoming Pokemon trainer is a boy named Barclay, a kind spirited child who received average scores on his tests. How the third trainer, Red managed to pass was above anyone’s head. His tests scores were the lowest out of the three individuals, yet high enough to beat out the rest of the class. Red is also a kindhearted boy, but can be too childish for his own good.

The graduation ceremony was nearing its end, and all the graduates had the fire of excitement in their eyes. Their spirits were high with diploma in hand, and the guarantee of receiving a Pokemon from Professor Oak only boosted their moods. Their eyes gleamed at the Professor as he approached them.

“Congratulations to all three of you! I am looking very forward to seeing the three of you head out on your very own Pokemon journey.”

Professor Oak paused for a moment as one of the boys, Red, held his hand up with a question that was most likely on all three boys minds.

“Professor Oak, when are we getting our Pokemon?”

Red asked inquisitively as his curious, brown eyes gazed at Professor Oak.

Credit for the theme goes to Hybrid Trainer

anyways, check out my fanfic, Legends of Kanto
first volume completed, chapter releases on the way!
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Old June 22nd, 2011 (4:57 PM).
Gothitelle. Gothitelle. is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Partyin' wit Segata Sanshiro
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Nature: Adamant
Posts: 532
Title of Story: A Friendship Story

Fandom: Pokemon

Plot summary: After being sent from her home to the real world, Giratina finds herself with the opportunity to redeem herself and start a new life. While doing so, she meets Hydreigon and instantly wanted to be her friend. Will she give Giratina a chance or flee?

Genre: Friends/Hurt/Comfort

Rating (PG, R, etc): G

Type of mentor needed: needs help with characters, grammar and descriptions to maybe get ideas to finish this :[

Writing sample of story:

Intro chapter: It starts in an alternate universe. The Distortion World, where a Pokemon lives in fear and anxiety from living alone for many years. Her name? Giratina. She lives in this alternate universe alone with just her teddy bear by her side. The darkness of this world has left young Giratina trembling in fear every night. She has no one. No one to tell her a story. No one to get her a glass of milk at night. Most importantly, no one to make her feel safe.

She laid there in her bed, trying to keep herself awake so she doesn’t sleep, because everytime she does, she has nightmares about that fateful day. The day where she was banished from the real world years ago for her destructiveness and violence. She was a violent and destructive girl back in the day. She seemed to destroy anything she can get her hands on and when other Pokemon got tired of her, she’d pick fights with them and win them by force. That behavior the young Pokemon harbored, was the final straw for the legendary Pokemon, Arceus; who banished Giratina from the real world and sealed her in the Distortion World.

Now, Giratina fights to prove that she is worthy enough to go back into the real world. She wants to prove to Arceus that she is indeed a good Pokemon and is responsible. However, being immature, it is difficult for her to prove she can take such a big step. Every night, she hopes that he will give her forgiveness and take her from this world. A world where a young Pokemon has to defend what is hers… alone.

As Giratina laid in her bed, clutching her teddy bear; she heard a sound. A strange sound indeed. She hid under her covers as the warping sound got louder and louder. The sound was so loud, it made Giratina’s caterpillar like body tremble with fear. She held on to her bear tighter and she talked quietly to herself.

“You don’t think it’s the mud people do you Bear Bear?” Giratina whispered with fear.

It stopped. Everything went silent. However, Giratina was still shaking with fear as she tried to pretend she was asleep. She can feel someone about to come up to her. Although she was never kidnapped, she still always felt that one day, she was. Maybe, it might happen. All she knows is that there is someone there.

“Giratina… wake up!” a familiar voice called out.

Giratina got up from under the covers, only to see a stone right in front of her. When she looked up… she could have sworn she saw Arceus. Her vision was a little blurry, but she was sure she saw him.
“Is that… Arceus?” She asked herself out loud.

The stone in front of her suddenly shined a bright light. Obstructing her view of the figure in front of her. Before she can say anything else…

“Sayonara Giratina…” the voice said as the room lit up in a white light.

Giratina closed her eyes tightly as she felt a strong gust of wind blowing on her. She clutched tightly to her bear as she braced herself. Suddenly, it all stopped. The wind stopped. Even with eyes closed, she can tell that the light wasn’t as bright anymore. When she opened her eyes, she looked around, shocked and surprised.

The sky above her was clear, blue and sunny and the grass was a dark green and was adorned with many flowers. The sound of the lake… the waves crashing against each other. This can all mean one thing… Giratina was in the real world.

Other: (such as, how long you've been writing for, what you think your strengths and weaknesses in writing are - optional) Been writing for as long as I remember; first fanfiction I wrote was for the Powerpuff Girls fandom. Also written for the Sonic fandom; Weakness are character portrayals and events happening too quickly

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Old June 22nd, 2011 (7:02 PM).
bobandbill's Avatar
bobandbill bobandbill is offline
Super ModeratorPokéCommunity Daily Staff
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Central Coast - Australia
Gender: Male
Nature: Jolly
Posts: 11,455
You are both added.

As a note, I'd suggest using the default forum text style/colour rather than your own as it may be hard for people to read on some forum skins, and removing all the formatting is all the more timely for me. =p
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Old September 17th, 2011 (4:22 AM).
Dragovian98's Avatar
Dragovian98 Dragovian98 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 24
Title of Story: Transformed
Fandom: Pokemon
Plot summary:After a boy explores the local forest with his best friend, a series of events follow which results in him becoming a Pokemon, and being forced to alter the destiny of Time, Space, and discovering the secrets that the Universe would rather keep hidden...
Genre:Action, Adventure and with slight war themes in some parts
Rating (PG, R, etc):PG-13- blood, language, and suggestive themes.
Type of mentor needed:Need a comprehensive mentor to just help me all round
Writing sample of story:The Prologue and chapter 1 can currently be found here:
Other: Liked writing stories for about 4 years I am capable of thinking up a pretty decent plot pretty spontaneously, but i lack the descriptive and grammatical talent that really makes a writer.
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Old September 17th, 2011 (5:24 AM).
bobandbill's Avatar
bobandbill bobandbill is offline
Super ModeratorPokéCommunity Daily Staff
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Central Coast - Australia
Gender: Male
Nature: Jolly
Posts: 11,455
Added to the list.

Mayb we should advertise for more mentors... *waves a flag* Any new people willing to help out clear the list some? =p
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Old November 23rd, 2011 (6:37 PM).
Kura's Avatar
Kura Kura is offline
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Horsham, UK (orig. Toronto, Canada)
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Nature: Serious
Posts: 11,013
Hey .O. I was wondering if maybe the er.. Beta list should be updated? A lot of betas I noticed are either inactive or it doesn't seem like I'm able to PM them/ reach them through PC.

I agree with advertising for more Betas though. I would take on the job but right now I'm pretty unreliable (job, moving countries) and I'm writing something myself. I'd be willing to beta something if someone would beta in return.. but I'm also pretty precise and we'd probably have to be on a similar writing level to help each other out (or even out each others' weaknesses.)
~Yuugiou Fan~
~Kamen Rider Fan~
♡(´・ω・`)LOVE! ☆
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Old January 17th, 2012 (8:38 AM).
chelly1107's Avatar
chelly1107 chelly1107 is offline
The Unseen
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 15
Title of Story: (I havent decided on that)
Fandom: Pokémon
Plot summary: (I haven't decided on this either)
Genre: Adventure
Rating (PG, R, etc): PG
Type of mentor needed: Someone who would read and comment without seeing a plot summary. Also willing to suggest a title.
Writing sample of story:
“The weather is perfect for shopping or a nice walk in the Goldenrod Park, stay tuned for our interview later with our Region’s Champion, Lance”
“Did you hear that everyone? It’s a day for shopping! Who’s coming with me?” Rie cheerfully shouted at the large group of Pokémon huddled in front of the TV. They all turned to her, turned to each other, then back at the TV. Rie sighed and ran her hand through her dark long hair. She always brought one of the five Pokémon in her party whenever she went anywhere, but lately, her Pokémon seemed bored.
The days when beating a tough trainer was reason to celebrate is long gone. Mainly because tough trainers to beat are next to none, and winning was like launching a full team on a preschooler’s Rattata. It’s pitiful, and you become the bad guy. Her Pokémon must feel the same way.
Rie consulted the list stuck to the refrigerator. Right between the shopping list and a photo was a list of which of her Pokémon came with her, for what reason and when.
“Luna! It’s your turn!”
An Umbreon walked towards her without expression. Rie had expected a face of annoyance, but out of her team, only Luna had been acting strange. When Rie had first trained Luna as an Eevee, she was the one who expressed the most emotion in anything. Danced in a victory or is the first to start some conversation with her fellow team members. She had taken her to a doctor and found nothing strange. “Hopefully” Rie thought, “it’s because she misses the thrills of battles like I do.”
Other: The story takes quite a while to get to the point, but it does.
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Old January 17th, 2012 (4:24 PM).
bobandbill's Avatar
bobandbill bobandbill is offline
Super ModeratorPokéCommunity Daily Staff
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Central Coast - Australia
Gender: Male
Nature: Jolly
Posts: 11,455
Added. Do say if you want to add anything.

And may give this a fresh slate soon given the number of people who requested readers a while ago. Because either you still want one which I find unlikely or you did find someone/don't need one any more and haven't yet told me.
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Old January 18th, 2012 (9:21 AM).
mzmingle mzmingle is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Hoenn
Age: 14
Gender: Female
Nature: Relaxed
Posts: 683

Title of Story: Adventures In Unova - All Battlers
Fandom: Pokemon
Plot summary: Twins Adam and Amelia go on their pokemon adventure around Unova, also going to the Battle Dome.
Genre: Pokemon? Adventure?
Rating (PG, R, etc): PG but may get a bit bad, probs not.
Type of mentor needed: Proofreader, Plot or comprehensive.
Writing sample of story:
The twins were ten and it was their eleventh birthday that exact day. Amelia got dressed in a blue top and a pair of denim trousers. She brushed her long brown hair into a tight ponytail. She put a clip in her hair and you could finally see her bright brown eyes. She went to brush her teeth.

Adam got dressed in a green top and a pair of brown trousers. He quickly combed his blonde hair and brushed his teeth.

They walked downstairs to see their sister cooking some eggs and toast.

“Wow, that looks nice!” said Amelia.

“Yes, it does!” replied Adam.

“Good. You better eat it. I thought you were already gone, you were so slow!” said Alice sarcastically.
She gave them their food and they ate it quickly.

“Bye!” they said in unison, and they were gone in a flash. They ran to the Professor’s lab and went in.

“Hello, I’m Professor Juniper. You are the Karl Twins, right?” she asked.

“Right!” the twins said in unison, yet again.

“What pokemon would you like? There is a wildcard, if you would like.” said Juniper.
Both children ran to a Pokeball. Adam chose Snivy and Amelia chose the wildcard which was Lillipup.

Professor Juniper smiled at them and gave them some Pokeballs. She gave Amelia a blue Pokedex and C-Gear and Alex green ones.
“Thanks, Professor!” said Amelia.

“What she said.” said Adam,

They both walked up and out of the door. They smiled at each other.

“Together, or go our own ways?” asked Adam.
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Old January 18th, 2012 (3:33 PM).
bobandbill's Avatar
bobandbill bobandbill is offline
Super ModeratorPokéCommunity Daily Staff
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Central Coast - Australia
Gender: Male
Nature: Jolly
Posts: 11,455
Added you to the list!

BTW guys this is a good a time as any to apply to be a beta reader. =p
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Old March 22nd, 2012 (9:53 PM).
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DForte DForte is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Florida, USA
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Posts: 155
I am in need of a beta reader. I already have a story started, but I am reworking it right now and then will continue the rest of it.

Title of Story: The Blacklist
Fandom: Pokémon
Plot summary: A trainer has his pokémon killed and is looking to avenge them
Genre: Not really sure. I guess I can leave that up to the reader.
Rating (PG, R, etc): PG
Type of mentor needed: Proof reader and someone to help with better descriptions
Writing sample of story:Archer sends out three Nidokings in front of Blastoise, Magmortar and Electivire. As they are getting up, Archer orders the Nidokings to use Horn Drill. The horn drills pierce through all three pokémon, thus killing them.

Pokémon: The Blacklist

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