The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

[Scarf]

Originally Posted by SwiftSign

Probably predictable from me but I'm inclined to disbelieve >< since a) it was such a small minority and b) some of the evidence was just based one what people said on the internet.

Also, I still really don't get this quote;



Everyone has day to day mood swings, deal with things in different ways, etc. To me this has absolutely nothing to do with gender at all - in fact I think the idea that it changes SO often implies that it isn't about gender at all. Personality is never a fully consistent thing, people need to stop trying to put themselves in one little special box when really they're the same as everyone else ><.

I would assume it means that when they see the world through their male persona (?) they might see the same something differently compared to when they are seeing the world through their female persona. Like, when you're in a good mood you see something different than when you're in a foul mood.

[SwiftSign]

Originally Posted by Scarf

I would assume it means that when they see the world through their male persona (?) they might see the same something differently compared to when they are seeing the world through their female persona. Like, when you're in a good mood you see something different than when you're in a foul mood.

Yes but what is the difference, really, other than these individuals associating their personalities to a gender stereotype?

[Scarf]

Originally Posted by SwiftSign

Yes but what is the difference, really, other than these individuals associating their personalities to a gender stereotype?

I'm not sure I follow you entirely. I get what you're saying about stereotypes, I think, but it sounds like you're taking it as a given that what they're describing is just a matter of personality.

[SwiftSign]

Originally Posted by Scarf

I'm not sure I follow you entirely. I get what you're saying about stereotypes, I think, but it sounds like you're taking it as a given that what they're describing is just a matter of personality.

That's basically what I'm saying - how do they know it's not just mood swings (which can be caused by hormone fluctuations in anyone) rather than some gender fluidity. Especially since it happens on an hourly/daily basis.

[QuilavaKing]

It sounds like there's more to it than just having mood swings to me. They're talking about actually wanting to be the opposite sex at times, and then not at other times.

[Lateon]

This is probably going to come out wrong, but I'm just getting the impression of Trans or Gender fluid people who just haven't figured out that they are trans or gender fluid yet. I'm just basing that off of the quotes. Definitely merits further research, just in case there is such a thing.

The reasearcher did note:

“We need to rule out the possibility that this is just a variant of dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality disorder) or the subjects are simply “role–playing.” Without the “smoking gun”- physical evidence in the form of fluctuating hormone levels or brain imaging data – we don’t know what we are dealing with. Its something we are currently working on.”

I'm interested to see what becomes of that.

People getting married so young! But I understand the fear that you might get something like that taken away from you all suddenly. Prop 8 was what made me really aware of how bad things can happen anywhere.

Sure, times have changed, but sixty or so years ago I would have been married off and popping out children already. =P I just felt like saying that, I'm not offended by the "getting married so young" thing. I mean, we were practically already married anyway, lol. Bed has been for sleeping for almost a year now, XD. But also >.<

[Toujours]

Lateon you and your wife are beautiful and omg I love both of your dresses so much. I can only express this with a Japanese smiley.

（‐＾▽＾‐）

[Shining Raichu]

Originally Posted by Scarf

They did, Oct 21, 2010.

I think you misunderstood what I said - I said I wish they hadn't mentioned that they made the It Gets Better video because mentioning that in something that is designed to make you look good makes the action itself seem really insincere; like they didn't really care about the suicide victims and were just doing it to get votes.

Originally Posted by Lateon

Sure, times have changed, but sixty or so years ago I would have been married off and popping out children already.

Just as a point of interest, do you guys plan to have any children?

[Usagi-Chan~]

I love children, and I hope to have one or two! Of course this would have to go over with my boyfriend/husband at the time. As for how, adoption is a maybe, but I would like to have at least one child be biologically mine or his :3

@Lateon: OMG You and your wife are stunning! Congratulations and welcome to the club! :D

[Lateon]

Eventually. Since we are only in our early 20's we're going to wait a couple years. I have a really secure job, but I want better pay first. Then again, who doesn't want a pay raise? lol

Also, children are expensive. Especially if I have anything to say about how spoiled they are. Plus, having them is difficult. Kind missing some of the essential equipment. =P

[Scarf]

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu

I think you misunderstood what I said - I said I wish they hadn't mentioned that they made the It Gets Better video because mentioning that in something that is designed to make you look good makes the action itself seem really insincere; like they didn't really care about the suicide victims and were just doing it to get votes.

Oops. Well, yes, I do agree with you on that to some extent, but I'm kinda encouraged when the leader of my country does something like this. They way I look at it, when some politician is in a position where they're asked to say something about gay people and they does get all preachy and condemn-y I consider that a victory even if they only make a youtube video and don't fight that hard to get the Defense of Marriage Act overturned. It's better than the alternative. /lowexpectations

[Shining Raichu]

Oh yeah it's absolutely wonderful that he did the video and I think he should be re-elected based on that alone, I just wish his campaign workers would think a little more sensitively lol

Originally Posted by Lateon

Eventually. Since we are only in our early 20's we're going to wait a couple years. I have a really secure job, but I want better pay first. Then again, who doesn't want a pay raise? lol

Also, children are expensive. Especially if I have anything to say about how spoiled they are. Plus, having them is difficult. Kind missing some of the essential equipment. =P

Haha this is very true. I know it's really early days since you're only my age, but have you put any thought into your options yet, for when the time comes? Like, do you think you'd adopt or would you want your own biological baby with a sperm donor? And if the latter, which of you do you think would carry the baby?

I passionately hate kids and don't want them myself, but I'm always fascinated when gay couples have children and how they choose to achieve it.

Actually on second thought, Usagi answering that question makes it more interesting; lets open it up to errybody!

Do you want children? If so, how do you plan to have them?

We may have done that question before but it was long enough ago that I don't remember everybody's answers haha

[QuilavaKing]

I don't hate kids, but I'm really not a huge fan, so I'm not really looking forward to having them. If I were going to though, there's no way I would adopt. They'd be 100% mine, or I just wouldn't have any at all.

I'd rather spend my time traveling or something than changing diapers. lol

[Lateon]

I'm not against adopting, and it's definitely an option, but we do want to have a couple of our own. If we get a sperm donor, we want to be able to use his goods more than once, so all of our babies are biologically related.

As for who's carrying? Kelly, no contest at all. She actually wants something squirming inside her and growing, and as for me... well, all the women in my family have had to have c-sections, so I'm not planning on it. Could change, but for now I'm not interested in carrying children.

It's also interesting that we have this all planned out, lol

[-ty-]

I think that it's definitely up to the couple whether or not to have children, and whether to adopt or seek surrogacy/in-vitro fertilization. There is something that is fulfilling about raising kids and establishing a family of your own. I feel that although it's not our sole responsibility as LGBT to adopt children, I do believe that we should be given the opportunity and incentives to provide homes to the millions of orphaned children throughout the world. Personally, I would like to adopt two children, preferably siblings.

[TwiDragon]

Hey all, its been a while sense I said something here.

Been caught up with other things >.>

Anyways, I don't know for sure if I'm staying, or just saying hello. However, I'd like to ask you guys something.

Also, as to be on subject with what this thread is; it seems to be kids and adoption? Well I haven't read through every post, but I'll give my stance on it. As long as your someone who can take care of a kid and will raise them right, then go for it. I don't care if its 40 gay men or 1 mother. I think anyone is welcome to watch over kids, as long as they arn't abusive.

[Shining Raichu]

Hey Twi, welcome back, waffles are nearly ready~

The subject is actually more personal - whether you want kids and if you do, how you want to go about achieving it. Though I do agree with everything you're saying

[TwiDragon]

Well then;
I don't care for having kids. I can't stand kids to be honest, most of the time I find them annoying.

I don't know, maybe it'll change in the future. I have been known to change my mind on things and what not.

[Harlequin]

I absolutely want kids, there is no doubt in my mind about that. I've always wanted them, they've been a goal in my life for as long as I can remember. Hell, I would be satisfied with just one kid, as long as I have someone in my life I can call my kid. I realize it's not likely for me to have one biologically, as much as I desire so; it's probably just not going to happen. i'm open to the idea of surrogacy, but to be honest, that seems far too expensive for me and I'm also scared of what could happen. What if something happens to the woman carrying my child? What if she decides to disappear and take my unborn child with her? The latter is not likely at all, but I'd no doubt have a few nightmares about it happening. Also, something bothers me about me saying it's MY child that's inside of her. I realize that it has my DNA and all, but after all the woman has done, doesn't she have a right to say it's her child too? I don't want to get caught up in any emotional guilt derived from taking something which gestated inside her for nine months and then living my life without her seeing the child at all. Isn't that whats preferred by doctors or whatever? I don't know. But really, surrogacy wouldn't really work with me at all. So I think I'm going to choose adoption in the end. It seems like a safer option to me and plus I won't be bringing another mouth to feed into the world, I'll instead be saving one and giving him or her a loving home. Look, in the end, having children will be good for me no matter how I go about having them, but i think adoption is the better out of the options I have.

[Lateon]

Wifey and I were also thinking about being a surrogate for a gay couple. I guess this is more achievable for us since we have a ridiculous amount of gay friends, but we were thinking a "we carry your baby, you give us sperm so we can have our own" type thing. I'm not sure how I feel about it in the end, since there is the whole carrying a living being inside you for nine months- you do bond with it, no matter if you can see it or not. But that's also an option that's out there. =)

[Scarf]

Kids. Sometimes I have moments of weakness where I think it might be nice to raise a child. Then I snap back to my senses and realize I would never be a good parent, don't like most children on sight, and want to have the freedom to live my own life.

I would be fine with adopting if I ever changed my mind. Actually, that's the only way I'd do it.

[Shining Raichu]

If I ever weakened and decided I wanted children, that's exactly what I'd do as well. I doubt it would ever happen, but if 15 years in the future I decide a child is something I need in my life, adoption is really the only option I would ever consider.

The benefits of adoption are just too great to pass up. You aren't bringing another unnecessary human being into a world that already has far too many; you're evening out the balance for all those idiots people that can't seem to figure out that sex results in infants and have more than three; you're giving a child a home when he/she needs one; and most importantly you can choose what child you get so you can pick one that's old enough that you miss out on those horrible early years with the 3am feedings and the diaper changes.

If I ever adopted a kid, I'd adopt one that was like eleven years old. That would be pretty awesome; you skip straight to the cool years. Even then, I probably won't lol.

[Kiyoshi the Polar Bear]

I definitely want to be a father one day. Call me old fashioned or less inclined to be alone. In truth, a deal breaker for me is someone who is adamant about not having kids. My family just brought me up that way, and I dunno, looking at myself as an old man- when everything boils down, you have what you consider family. I don't want to be the old man just sitting there, doing something dull, while everyone in his family has drifted away or died. What if my siblings die before me? My parents will be long gone. And once my husband goes, if he goes first, who do I have left to connect to? Friends? What if I don't have any? Even if I do, they have their own family and personal problems. I don't want my problems just piling on to theirs. I don't want to force someone to care about me while they're experiencing their own twilight years.

And I don't think I'd make a bad Dad. I love my own Dad, and to be a good one passing down not only the good parts of my own father but the good parts of myself to someone, just seems fantastic. Not only that, but it'd bring me closer to my husband, wouldn't it? Besides the fact that my husband would be 150% hotter by being a good Dad too.

Perhaps having kids and a family to be apart of in my adult life would rip out that bit of material selfishness I have in myself, too. It's a learning and improving experience for everyone (if done correctly. Of course, there are crappy families out there and not everyone should be a parent.)

I don't know how I'd approach it. By the looks of it now, it's In-Vitro. But you never know. It's a discussion I'd would have to have with my husband. Adopting definitely has its benefits for the child and parent (Child: Home and Family, Parent: Babies are cute but stop peeing everywhere and sopiahfnibnfkjsdb and having a kid that's past that age is pretty cool and you still are a parent.) But adopting could take years, and I don't want to be an "old dad." I don't want to be in my mid-fifties and have my oldest be just five or something. Think about that. When they're 20, I'd be 70. NO.

That and I want more then one kid. Probably all boys, 2-4 least-most. Since little girls may be adorable but they're annoying and I would be helpless trying to explain puberty or what they should expect. I'm a gay male. I didn't need to learn any of it. OISAUHDILUH.

And I'd like to pass on my last name, too. By the looks of it, I may be the only viable descendant to pass it on since my brother is all like "I want kids!" and future wifey is all like "Nuuuuu" so he's all like "D'oh-kayyyy."

So passing on the family name and blood for sure was left to a gay guy. wat.

[FreakyLocz14]

There's this homosexual guy I know that has times where he acts and dresses masculine, and times where he acts and dresses feminine (not cross-dressing, though).

He's not trans, or anything like that.

What label describes him?

[droomph]

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14

There's this homosexual guy I know that has times where he acts and dresses masculine, and times where he acts and dresses feminine (not cross-dressing, though).

He's not trans, or anything like that.

What label describes him?

He's gay, but he has a shifting view of his sexuality. That's the only way I can describe him.