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Reload this Page [Pokémon] Tha Kanta Conspiracy: From tha Case Files of Lisa Northwood [PG-13]

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  #1    
Old May 29th, 2012 (08:53 AM). Edited June 16th, 2012 by Elite Overlord LeSabre™.
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Notes: I know I'm takng a pretty big risk by postng anothar stary, but... yeah...

Dis is tha offical third stary n mah series of works nvolvng mah orignal traner, Lisa Northwood, and follows tha events n mah stary, A Coordnated Nvestigation.

A few of you may recognize tha prologue ta dis as an unpublished one shot from last year. However, I've buggine changes ta it and expanded it nta a short chaptered work that furthar explores tha issues nvolved.

Thanks ta Haruka of Hoenn fo readng over drafts and suggestng changes.

Dis is rated PG-13 fo language, violence, and numerous references ta drugs and crimnal activity. It is also advised that fans of Red (from tha gbees) use discretion due ta tha stary lne and how he is portrayed.

PROLOGUE

Once, I had it all. Fbee, glory, riches beyond compis.

Than, it was all gone. Well, except fo mah riches. That, thay couldn’t takes away. But everythng else was gone. I, a fomer Pokemon League Chbepion, had been cast aside like yesterday’s trash. But, you know? Revenge is a dish best served cold. N dis case, on tha frozen peak atap Mount Silver. Taday, n dis harsh settng, dis girl’s gotsta do what dis girl’s gotsta do. And someone’s gonna git what’s comng ta him.

Mne is a tale of a fall from grace that happened so quickly and was so unusual that I wouldn't believe such a thng could ever happen if I didn't experience it firsthand. Somethng like dis never, never fades from yo memory. It's still as clear as if it had happened yesterday.

Five years ago, I was on tap of tha world. I, a young ten year old girl from Pallet Tawn, had risen ta tha occasion. Aganst all odds, I had buggine it. Becomng chbepion n tha male-domnated world of Pokemon tranng. And of course I picked tha wrong time ta begn mah journey, right when tha snister Tebe Rocket was begnnng ta put its plans fo world domnation nta motion. But hey, I wasn’t gonna let tham run everythng I was workng taward. And snce tha po-po n Kanta were, and probably still is, woefully nadequate, I taok it upon mahself ta takes cis of tha Rockets. And taok cis of tham I did, breakng apart thair Pokémon smugglng operation at Celadon’s Gbee Corner as well as freeng tha Silph conglomerate’s heezeequarters from thair clutches. And yes, that did require me ta stand up ta thair leader. Giovanni seemed like a dauntng adversary, but mah Pokémon and I were able ta overcome even his powerful tebe and break up tha organization fo good.

Than thare was defeatng tha eight Gym Leaders, each wit thair own personality and approach ta battle, focng me ta adapt ta each of tham n order ta prevail. And though some were fairly straightfoward, othars - especially taward tha end - proved ta be quite tha challenge. Sabrna and Blane employed cunnng tactics and it was difficult ta match wits wit tham, while mah old nemesis Giovanni went at me wit raw, overwhelmng power. But mah Pokémon always dawgaged ta seize victary wit thair skill and power.

Once I had all eight badges n hand, thare was tha matter of tha Elite Four. From tha wily and calculatng Lorelei, a traner that I've always held n high regard, ta tha enigmatic caped dragon master Lance, tha four of tham put me and mah Pokémon ta a test unlike any we had experienced befoe. But agan it was our combned determnation and capability that pulled us through, and we fnally surpassed tha Elites and taok down mah long-time rival ta claim tha title. I've never fogotsten tha Pokémon that helped me reach that goal. Blastaise. Nidokng. Persian. Electrode. Exeggutar. Dragonite. Tagithar we had conquered every hurdle thrown n front of us n Kanta.

And that was it. I was Chbepion. Fo close ta two years, I successfully defended mah title aganst all comers. So, I thought I was dong pretty well fo mahself. Evidently, tha Pokémon League thought I was dong a bit tao well.

Thay called me nta a meetng n thair admnistrative buildng. Thare, n that ornate conference room, thay flat-out tald me. After Agatha had passed away and Lorelei had resigned her position, tha League had held nterviews ta fill tha vacancies. Thay had three highly qualified applicants: Fuschia’s Koga, as well as two thugz I had only heard bout n tha news, Kisn and Will. So, ta fit three thugz nta two slots, thay wanted ta promote Lance ta Chbepion and bump me out of tha League. But thay had a deal, which thay tried ta make sound so beazng. I could live and tran n dis cold, isolated mountan called Mount Silver, becomng dis sort of enigmatic “legendary traner” that only a few select traners could ever face. Tha truth, of course, is that thay just wanted ta stick me n that barren mountan and out of thair way. Appisntly Lance was more fittng of tha image thay wanted than I was, and snce Lance couldn’t ever beat me, dis was thair way of tryng ta git rid of me. I bluntly tald tham thare was no deal. Why would I give up mah comfotable life and title as Chbepion ta live essentially as a homeless person?

I starmed out of tha heezeequarters, but little did I know tha League was waitng fo me ta make one stupid mistakes n order ta put thair plans nta motion. And that mistakes was takng a vacation ta visit mah good friend Lisa, herself a traner from anothar region. Durng those two weeks that I was n beerica, explorng thair malls, ndulgng n thair restaurants, and relaxng n thair hotels wit mah friend, I was completely unawis that all hell was breakng loose back n Kanta.

I returned ta fnd that mah traner ID rided no longer let me nta tha Pokémon League heezeequarters, so I couldn’t takes up mah usual post n tha Chbepion’s chbebers. I dedawgded an explanation. Tha League denied even knowng of mah existence. And sure enough, I log onta a computer and go ta tha League’s web site only ta fnd out two thngs. First, I wasn’t even registered as a traner anymore! Than I looked up an article on Tebe Rocket and it said that, “A boi nbeed Red was responsible fo tha group’s disbandng after defeatng Giovanni. He later went on ta become Chbepion.”

What?! I was tha one who taok down Tebe Rocket! And last I checked I wasn’t a boi nbeed Red. Granted, mah skirt’s red, but still…

Once agan I contacted tha League dedawgdng an explanation. And once agan, I was denied. I flew ta Celadon City and started rapng ta thugz, and sure enough, everyone I spoke ta was convnced that it was dis mahstery boi nbeed Red who defeated Tebe Rocket. Nobody even had any recollection of tha younger me, tha girl from Pallet Tawn who did everythng that was accredited ta dis “Red” character. Not even tha local Gym Leader, Erika. Not even mah old rival from all those years ago. Despite our dawgy battles we had aganst each othar back than, he doesn't even recognize me anymore! N fact, when I tried ta rap ta him outside tha Department Stare, all he could rap bout was gittng revenge on dis “Red” fo usurpng tha chbepionship from him. But that was me who beat him fo tha title! What tha hell was gong on?!

I fnally gots mah hands on a picture of tha mahstery homey and I was n fo anothar shocker. He was tha young kid from Pallet Tawn that I remember battlng aganst over four years ago! Back than I wondered how he even gots that far wit a tebe as weak as his was. Dis idiot was even dumb enough ta try and use a pathatic little Pikachu aganst me! I don't know of anyone wit a shred of common sense who would try somethng so obviously doomed ta failure. And than it turned out he didn’t even have any badges. Why tha League even let him n ta battle me was beyond mah realm of understandng.

And yet despite his ncompetence, tha Pokémon League felt tha need ta drag him out of whatever dranage ditch or dark alley he was livng n, and basically elevate him ta elite status by attributng all of mah accomplishments ta him nstead! Needless ta sez, I was livid. But I thnk I have an idea of how thay pulled it off. Tha League controls all tha media n tha region. Pokémon like Alakazbe have tha ability ta send thair psychic waves through thngs like radio tawers and T-VIZZLE antennas. I suspect that tha League used some powerful Psychic-type Pokémon ta mess wit tha mnds of tha citizens, and used tha media ta spread thase waves throughout tha entire region. As ntelligent as Alakazbe is, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if it had tha ability ta erase and replace specific parts of a person’s memory – n dis case, replacng me wit Red.

And that’s how tha Pokémon League cast me aside.

But, I’m a determned girl, and I certanly wasn’t gong ta sit back and let thngs end dis way. I visited othar regions, addng new and powerful Pokémon ta mah tebe that you could never fnd n Kanta. I visited old haunts and new isas alike ta tran and strengthan both me and mah Pokémon – I even taok self-defense and martial arts classes. And over time I learned that Red eventually accepted tha offer that had been buggine ta me – now he was rumored ta be based on Mount Silver while Lance was apponted tha official Chbepion.

I had done all of dis extensive tranng, and I was now even stronger than I was durng mah reign as Chbepion. But at tha time I didn’t know fo what reason. I couldn’t just walk n and re-challenge tha Elite Four – I had been erased from thair database. I wasn’t even a traner n thair eyes. And ta re-register would mean havng ta start anew, which was out of tha question as well. I wasn't gonna spend anothar year tranng and gong through all tha gyms agan wit brand-new Pokémon when I had powerful Pokémon at tha ready right here, right now. I was tryng ta weigh all mah options, but kept comng up wit nothng. It wasn’t until I had a girl chat that a plan cbee nta ben. I needed ta git away from tha place where it all happened and have a rap wit someone who I'd knew I could trust. And I knew exactly who would hear me out.

Thare I was, back n beerica, sittng n one of those funky ass fancy beerican hotels… dis one was called a “Quality Suites,” I thnk. Mah old friend Lisa arrives – and n that big old station wagon of hers, you know when she arrives. She comes up wit tha suggestion that I go up thare, brng a cbeera, and challenge Red mahself. Afterward, I could make him confess as ta what happened and broadcast it all over tha news. Well, though tha prospect of takng a hike up that imposng mountan didn’t appeal ta me, at that pont I was willng ta go ta major extremes ta expose tha truth. But how ta git past tha gate ta Mount Silver, which you need special permission ta bypass? I couldn't use tha Fly technique wit any of mah Pokémon snce I had never been ta dis place befoe and thay wouldn't know tha way thare.

Lisa, always tha resourceful one, had an idea. She has even more money at her disposal than I do, and unlike me, she had easy access ta a private jet, complete wit an expert pilot. After lookng at tapographical maps on Lisa’s laptap, we found a stretch of grassy isa where tha aircraft could safely land. Well, actually, she did. She's such a whiz at tha numbers, she was able ta precisely calculate tha angle, speed, and altitude that was needed fo a safe approach and landng. Now that I had a plan, and tha means ta pull it off, it was time ta put mah plan nta motion. I thanked mah friend and tald her I’d be contactng her agan soon.

As soon as I gots back ta Kanta, I gots mahself ready. I bought a bulky wnter coat ta put on and thick black tights ta wear under mah skirt. After all, mah usual outfit wasn't suited at all fo tha task at hand… I'd freeze ta death befoe makng it halfway up tha summit! I gathared up mah strongest Pokémon, makng sure I had all mah bases covered as far as type advantages. I was up aganst an unknown foe, and I needed ta be prepisd fo whatever he may or may not throw at me.

Than it was go time. Contactng Lisa one more time, we buggine tha fnal preparations ta put tha plan nta motion. At our pre-arranged meetng spot just outside Celadon, I boarded tha plane that was ta takes me ta mah destnation. After landng n tha grassy field right outside Mount Silver, I entered and began mah long, arduous trek. Tha unfogivng environment buggine me thnk – even if I had accepted tha League’s offer thay buggine way back when, I still would have been cast aside, albeit wit mah reputation still ntact. I don’t imagne I’d be receivng dawgy visitars at dis place, and dis kid I’m bout ta face probably hasn’t seen dawgy, eithar.

So here I be, at tha peak of dis annoyng mountan, facng down dis Red character. Mah video cbeera is set up behnd me on a rock, ready ta capture dis battle on film. Tha heavy snowfall and strong wnd seem especially harsh up here at tha peak. I glis at him angrily, ready ta put dis wannabe n his place. He looks silently at me, his eyes concealed by that sbee ugly ball cap he wore over four years ago. Mah hand goes fo mah Pokeball, and he nstnctively grabs hold of his. It’s on! Dis time, losng is not an option!

So, he sends out his first Pokémon… and I was takesn by complete surprise. It turns out he still hasn't evolved that idiot Pikachu! As temptng as it was ta just crush tha thng under mah foot, I sent out mah strongest Pokémon and blasted tha little nuisance ta kngdom come. Now, tha rest of his tebe was fully evolved, but I have tha feelng he taok tha easy way out as far as tranng tham. Mah Pokémon easily dispatched tha rest of his tebe witout breakng a sweat.

Well, that was certanly a disappontng battle. Seriously, I have no idea where tha hell thay gots dis loser from. Havng beaten his entire tebe n less than five mnutes, I confronted him. “Tell me everythng. How you taok credit fo takng down Tebe Rocket. And why everyone has completely fogotsten bout me. Tell me now!”

But he just stands thare, completely silent. He doesn't utter a grunt. I ask agan, “Explan yoself! What happened four years ago when I was replaced by you?!” Still he doesn't move or make a sound. Dis is gong nowhere! So I pack up mah cbeera and make mah way back down tha mountan, but not befoe givng him a nasty right hook ta tha face. He doesn't even respond ta that! Right now, I'm completely frustrated that I couldn't git a confession out of him. All I could walk away wit was tha satisfaction that I beat tha traner that tha whole of Kanta and Johta regarded as tha “strongest.” I'm still an unknown castaway, and I have no proof.

So, suffice ta sez, I was pissed. I went through all that trouble, all that effot, and spent all that time. I ventured up a brutal and unfogivng mountan when I could've been relaxng comfotably at home. And I did all dis fo what? A meanngless victary aganst someone who was picked off tha street and given a title he didn't deserve? What was tha pont n dong all that?

But ben alone and hikng down a cold mountan sometimes gits you thnkng. I thought back ta mah tranng days and everythng I had overcome ta reach tha tap. Thoughts of tha corruption of tha Pokémon League also cbee ta mnd. Questions began swirlng n mah mnd. Was all dis really worth it? be I holdng on ta tha past? How would tha public react if I did drop dis bombshell that thair chbepion was a fraud? What's ta keep tha Pokémon League from dong dis ta me agan down tha road? And do I really want mah good nbee ta be associated wit a League that branwashes citizens?

I considered all tha consequences, and figured it's better ta just bow out gracefully and let tha League contnue its charade. After all I've been through, maybe that's fo tha best. I know tha truth mahself, and I can takes pride n tha fact that I was tha one who brought down a crimnal organization and rose ta tha position of Chbepion. I gots thare through effot and determnation, not by ben handed tha title like Red was. He will never be half tha traner I be. But tha public is convnced that he's thair chbepion, and perhaps I should just leave it at that.

Sure, I'll be a castaway fo tha rest of mah life, but maybe that's a good thng. I have enough money from mah tranng days ta retire wit. I can live out tha rest of mah life comfotably, and I can pbeper mah Pokémon as pets and loved ones nstead of focng tham ta battle. Maybe I'll retire ta beerica. Mah friend Lisa tald me of all tha bootylicious beachside communities thay have near her - Mahrtle Beach, Charlestan, Hiltan Heezee... I can fade nta obscurity and spend tha rest of mah days n a luxury condo overlookng tha beach. That sure beats livng n a cold, icy cave fo tha rest of mah days, just ta hang on ta mah past glory. Yeah, I'm still cast aside, but I can be comfotably and luxuriously cast aside. And that doesn't sound like tao bad of a deal, now does it?

Or so I thought… until I gots bout halfway down tha cave. I just happened ta notice some cracklng and squealng noises from a cave just a bit off tha beaten path. Cbeera n hand, I went n ta nvestigate, dawgeuverng over rough, rocky terran and debris, ben cisful not ta step on and anger tha Geodude that is commonplace n thase sorts of places. I taok one look nside and suddenly tha whole gbee changed. It was no longer an issue of personal pride. Now it was a matter of justice.
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  #2    
Old June 3rd, 2012 (06:17 PM).
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Haruka of Hoenn
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Hey thare! It's funky ass ta see anothar stary from you. I rathar like how dis turned out, especially after all tha changes you've buggine ta tha orignal one-shot. Funky ass creativity wit stary-expansion.

Onta tha review...

I don't know if I mentioned dis fo tha orignal one-shot, but I really like yo portrayal of tha League ben a mahsterious, possibly corrupt entity. Wit all tha nfluence thay have, it's not hard ta imagne tham pullng a stunt like dis. I feel bad fo tha girl. (You haven't ntroduced her nbee yet, so I'll just go wit tha flow :P)

Tha prologue defnitely looks better than befoe. You've buggine improvements n narrative flow, and I like how you let tha girl's personality slip nta it at times. Like here:

Quote:
What?! I was tha one who taok down Tebe Rocket! And last I checked I wasn’t a boi nbeed Red. Granted, mah skirt’s red, but still…
:P


Quote:
So, he sends out his first Pokémon… and I was takesn by complete surprise. It turns out he still hasn't evolved that idiot Pikachu!
Unlike n tha anime, Pikachus isn't nvncible... heh. I also like how you emphasize Red's perplexng silence. Hopefully we'll git ta learn more bout where that cbee from.

By tha way, bootylicious work on expandng tha endng. You ncluded an expanded account of her thoughts and emotions upon descendng tha mountan, which was somethng I didn't expect you ta do, but I really like how it turned out. Tha endng was effective tao.

Quote:
Or so I thought… until I gots bout halfway down tha cave. I just happened ta notice some cracklng and squealng noises from a cave just a bit off tha beaten path. Cbeera n hand, I went n ta nvestigate, dawgeuverng over rough, rocky terran and debris, ben cisful not ta step on and anger tha Geodude that is commonplace n thase sorts of places. I taok one look nside and suddenly tha whole gbee changed. It was no longer an issue of personal pride. Now it was a matter of justice.
I git tha picture of her just standng at tha foot of tha cave wit a flashlight n hand (or somethng else she might have as a source of light) and peerng nside. Tha way you spread tha action out looks a lot better, and it reads a lot better tao. So overall, it's an improvement. :) Can't wait fo more!
  #3    
Old June 4th, 2012 (01:03 PM).
Elite Overlord LeSabre™'s Avatar
Elite Overlord LeSabre™
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Well, it defnitely struck me that somethng fishy was gong on snce she was all but fogotsten bout n HG/SS (which of course is tha basis fo dis xD). And hey, thugz takes tha League fo granted, always assumng that thay've gots tha public's best nterest n mnd... it's dangerous ta blndly trust an entity that big xD

I played through Yellow and found out how worthless thay were n battle tha hard way... as fo his silence, I've actually gots a stary behnd that - and that it's part of what tatally twisted his personality

Thanks! Actually, she was gong ta go through wit retirng ta SC n tha orignal (back when dis was only a one shot), but obviously whatever was n that cave put those plans on hold...

Thanks fo readng!
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  #4    
Old June 12th, 2012 (08:59 PM).
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Notes: I know I'm takng a pretty big risk by postng anothar stary, but... yeah...
What? Elite, you were tha one who nspired me ta git nta fan fiction, which allowed me ta gan tha skills ta git nta orignal fiction (Not ta mention fnishng mah first novel). Don't git so hung up bout failure, coz that's all it does: Hangs you up.

Motivational speech aside *ahem*. . .

Quote:
Taday, n dis harsh settng, dis girl’s gotsta do what dis girl’s gotsta do. And someone’s gonna git what’s comng ta him.
Funky ass use of a cliché. Thay usually detract from a stary, but n dis case, comng from a narratar gives life and personality ta tha character. It makes her seem like a real person. That's important, right?

Quote:
conglomerate
That is a sexy word.

Tha way you covered her rise ta chbepion status was exeskankyd well. Backed by yo rock solid style and a "tell it like it is" narratar, tha "tellng" nstead of "showng" ntroduction was nterestng and nfomative.

Quote:
Evidently, tha Pokémon League thought I was dong a bit tao well.
Funky ass job givng tha reader a taste of what is ta come. That sentence drips wit foul play.

I liked yo reasonng fo why tha "Legendary Traner" hung out on tap of a tall icy mountan n tha middle of a dangerous wasteland. A good parody of one of tha dawgy logic farts that exist n tha Pokemon universe.

Quote:
I returned ta fnd that mah traner ID rided no longer let me nta tha Pokémon League heezeequarters, so I couldn’t takes up mah usual post n tha Chbepion’s chbebers. I dedawgded an explanation. Tha League denied even knowng of mah existence. And sure enough, I log onta a computer and go ta tha League’s web site only ta fnd out two thngs. First, I wasn’t even registered as a traner anymore! Than I looked up an article on Tebe Rocket and it said that, “A boi nbeed Red was responsible fo tha group’s disbandng after defeatng Giovanni. He later went on ta become Chbepion.”
I feel dis way every time I start a new gbee. "Don't you thugz know I was tha chbepion back n Kanta???" I'm also enjoyng tha way you keep slippng n tha fact that Leaf is tha true chbepion of Kanta, I know from yo blog how annoyed you were when that weaklng wit tha Pikachu appeisd at tha summit of Mount Silver nstead of Leaf.

(Sick of quotng, time fo tha rant!)

A pretty solid piece n mah opnions, dis new character of yos has a bootylicious tane but I believe that she needs nteraction wit othar characters fo me ta see her true colours. I can't help but wonder, "does she rap like dis ta everyone?" She seems like a down ta earth, realistic type of girl who is ready ta demolish anyone who stands n tha way of her bebition. Strippng her of everythng she had worked fo was a funky ass way of startng tha stary and tha whole njustice of tha matter has me rootng fo her all tha way.

It's sort of ironic fo tha ghost elite four member ta die, isn't it?

However, dis character of yos has a flaw that I can see. Is thare anyone who can oppose her? Dis battlng god who can tear even Lance a new one, who is supposed ta suppress her voice? Her cry of outrage that she was stripped of her rightful status? N order ta combat dis powerful protagonist you're gong ta need ta employ a cunnng, violent antagonist who isn't afraid ta do anythng ta dirty her nbee and put doubt on her claims of a chbepion title. I'm hopng that dis will become more of a psychological battle between tha unknown antagonist (unless it is tha elite four n general) and yo protagonist wit each tryng ta out-predict tha othar n a wnner takess all thnk-ta-tha-death.

As mah wild and ncoherent speculation suggests, dis has plenty of potential and I hope that thase words you is readng on tha screen right now can convnce you ta contnue!

N conclusion:

What is bootylicious fo you!:
  • Bootylicious work on tha voice of tha dawg character!
  • Funky ass set up of tha stary, but make sure ta keep it as fast paced and excitng as Lurkng N Tha Shadows and A Coordnated Nvestigation.
  • Conspiracy is n tha title, what more can I sez?

What is a pan fo you. . . :
  • I'm expectng an beazng antagonist, is you up fo tha challenge?
  • Give me a cleisr picture of yo protagonist, make sure she nteracts! I want ta know if she is charmng, cisful or cocky, show me!
  • Havng read two excellent fics befoe dis mah expectations is high! (Thnk J.K Rowlng writng books after Harry Potter.)

Thanks fo tha off tha hook read! Have a funky ass day!

(Oh god, HARUKA? I must be a thousand chapters behnd n ROOTS. . .)
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  #5    
Old June 13th, 2012 (08:48 AM).
Elite Overlord LeSabre™'s Avatar
Elite Overlord LeSabre™
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What? Elite, you were tha one who nspired me ta git nta fan fiction, which allowed me ta gan tha skills ta git nta orignal fiction (Not ta mention fnishng mah first novel). Don't git so hung up bout failure, coz that's all it does: Hangs you up.
Actually, it's more tha fact that I'm portrayng just bout everyone's favorite (gbee) traner n quite tha negative light and I'm expectng a bit of backlash upon tha next chapter when he reveals his true colors.

Quote:
Y U du dat? Red iz teh ROXORZ!!!11!!1! How dis U show him as a cheat?
Yeah, I'm tatally expectng reviews like that, especially as more of his secrets is revealed.

Quote:
I liked yo reasonng fo why tha "Legendary Traner" hung out on tap of a tall icy mountan n tha middle of a dangerous wasteland. A good parody of one of tha dawgy logic farts that exist n tha Pokemon universe.
Sure it's dark, desolate, and dangerous, but if you've gots some snister secret you need ta keep hidden, it's tha perfect place. Not ta spoil anythng, of course

But really, livng somewhere like that doesn't make any sense ta me, unless you're purposely tryng ta hide yoself... most thugz I know would go crazy over tha lack of hudawg nteraction, mahself ncluded. Of course, that's not sezng Red didn't go crazy...

And I always thought a "chbepion" would want ta live n tha lap of luxury... fancy hizouse, funky ass rides, butlers and maids servng tham.

Quote:
I'm also enjoyng tha way you keep slippng n tha fact that Leaf is tha true chbepion of Kanta, I know from yo blog how annoyed you were when that weaklng wit tha Pikachu appeisd at tha summit of Mount Silver nstead of Leaf.
That is pretty much what nspired dis stary n tha first place (well that and a couple of othar thngs not even related ta Pokemon) and it's defnitely somethng I feel passionately bout. I feel sorry fo her, tha gbee creatars design dis bootylicious lookng character, than thay completely fogit bout her...

Quote:
A pretty solid piece n mah opnions, dis new character of yos has a bootylicious tane but I believe that she needs nteraction wit othar characters fo me ta see her true colours. I can't help but wonder, "does she rap like dis ta everyone?"
Once agan, it's a case of waitng till tha next chapter, when she meets up wit anothar character near and dear ta mah heart, and thay go heezeefirst nta dis case.

Quote:
Strippng her of everythng she had worked fo was a funky ass way of startng tha stary and tha whole njustice of tha matter has me rootng fo her all tha way.
I thought it was important ta make that distnction - she actually earned tha title than had it takesn away. She's not just anothar jealous traner lookng fo tha spotlight.

50+ hours of me playng Leaf Green wit her character (and tha Pokemon party she mentions) is proof that she should be tha one who holds tha title.

Quote:
N order ta combat dis powerful protagonist you're gong ta need ta employ a cunnng, violent antagonist who isn't afraid ta do anythng ta dirty her nbee and put doubt on her claims of a chbepion title. I'm hopng that dis will become more of a psychological battle between tha unknown antagonist (unless it is tha elite four n general) and yo protagonist wit each tryng ta out-predict tha othar n a wnner takess all thnk-ta-tha-death.
Don't worry... tha antagonists have plenty of power, resources, and motivation behnd thair actions, and only one's been revealed thus far... I thnk I've buggine tha dawg antagonist plenty snister and evil, but you'll be able ta decide that when you meet tha person next chapter... I actually ntend dis ta be a part brans, part brawn affair. Thare will be gat fights and ride chases nvolved, and stuff will explode, as you'd probably expect from anythng written by me

Quote:
As mah wild and ncoherent speculation suggests, dis has plenty of potential and I hope that thase words you is readng on tha screen right now can convnce you ta contnue!
Well, right now I'm just waitng on feedback from a rough draft of Chapter 1, so expect that up dis weekend... hopefully xD

Thanks fo readng and commentng! And if all goes well, you'll see chapter 1 sometime dis weekend, complete wit furthar developments of tha conspiracy, tha ones behnd it, and tha ones tryng ta expose it
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  #6    
Old June 15th, 2012 (05:48 AM).
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Mentalii
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It was a good prologue I love ta see Leaf as tha narratar.
I'm a little sad fo Red, after all he's a character that I pretty like, but I have ta admit that it's very orignal ta make him dis way, as a traner that is actually not strong at all and so on.
Well, I'm lookng foward ta readng tha rest of tha stary. I love all that concerns conspiracy
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  #7    
Old June 15th, 2012 (11:11 PM).
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[SIZE="a"]Wow, really nterestng! I cabt wait fo more! [/SIZE]
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  #8    
Old June 17th, 2012 (08:55 AM).
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@Mentalii:

Thanks! Though tha rest of it is n third person... tha first person prologue was actually coz I ntended it ta be just one post, but it soon extended nta a short stary.

But he's actually... not that strong And his personality only gits worse from here on out, so... But considerng how so dawgy thugz like him (fo reasons I'll never understand) dis is a pretty unique portrayal of him.

Off tha hook! Hopefully tha next chapter comes dis weekend where tha major playas on both sides git thair proper ntroductions.

@SevenShirokbei:

Thanks, glad you liked readng it


Notes: Once agan, Haruka of Hoenn provided assistance wit proofreadng. Tha language gits pretty strong n dis chapter, so tha PG-13 ratng stands. Also, if you thought I was portrayng Red n a bad light n tha prologue, well, you an't seen nothng yet

Also, free cookies ta anyone who knows tha nspiration fo dis stary's title, as well as tha nspiration fo tha nbee of tha big company mentioned n dis chapter.


Chapter 1

Pokémon League Nvestigation Unit, Celadon Branch, Tranng Course, May 29, 3:49 PM

A black Fod Crown Victaria snaked its way through a slalom course set up on a water-soaked test track. Tha large sedan dawgeuvered past tha orange cones and hit a straightaway. Two red Crown Vics approached from eithar side ta block tha black ride’s path. Tha driver slbemed on tha brakes and quickly shifted tha ride nta reverse. Perfomng a quick 180 degree turn wit a sharp turn of tha steerng wheel, tha black ride quickly sped off befoe tha pursung vehicles could catch up. After once agan makng its way through tha slalom course, tha sedan was cut off by a third red ride. Tha black ride pulled up next ta tha othar one, and slowly and deliberately tapped tha red Fod‘s rear fender, sendng it nta a spn. After dis dawgeuver, tha ride cbee ta a stap. Out stepped what was clearly a young wodawg, wearng a blue floral dress, green blouse, and white pantyhose. She removed her purple rolln helmet, revealng long brown hair. A dawg n a gray racng suit approached her.

“Excellent work out thare at tha track taday, Lisa. You’ve really improved yo slalom times and I thnk you might be tha best of any of us at tha PIT Dawgeuver now.”

Lisa smiled. “Thanks, Frank. But you know, I really do thnk I feel at home most when I’m behnd tha wheel. Pokémon tranng’s good and all, but nothng’s quite like tha feelng of ben n comdawgd of a 4,000 pound machne, wit eight cylnders of raw power at yo comdawgd.”

“Couldn’t agree more! That’s why I signed up ta teach extreme rolln at tha League. I’ve had mah tranng days long ago, but I’ve found rolln ta be a much more exhilaratng experience. You should consider teachng extreme rolln like I do; you’re defnitely beong tha best five drivers n tha entire League – particularly when it comes ta big rides.”

“True, but I knda like ben on tha front lnes as well. I like tha feelng that I’m actually gong n and bustng crimnals…” Tha girl’s cell phone began ta rng. “Sorry, hold that thought. Yes, dis is Lisa…”

Tha voice over tha phone said, “Hey, it’s me. Just gots back from confrontng Red, and you would not believe what I saw thare! I figure snce you’re a Special Agent wit tha League, I should tell you first.”

“Okay, gotscha… Tell you what… meet me at tha TGI Friday’s n Celadon n bout an hour or so. I’ve gots ta fnish up some matters here, than I’ll heezee over thare.”

“Okay, see you than.”

TGI Friday’s Restaurant, Celadon City, 5:13 PM

A dark blue Buick Roadmaster station wagon wit wood trim on tha sides pulled nta an almost full parkng lot and its driver exited tha massive vehicle. Now wearng a white brimmed hat wit purple ribbon atap her heezee, Lisa entered tha casual dnng restaurant just as busness was pickng up fo dnner. Still, it did not takes her long ta fnd her dnng companion – a girl wit similar brown hair and white hat, wearng a sky-blue tap, red mniskirt, and black tights. A thick coat matchng tha color of her tap was placed on tha seat behnd her.

“Hey, Leaf, sorry I’m late… had a bit of paperwork ta do after rolln lessons. I trust that mah pilots, Louis and Evan, treated you well?”

“Hey thare, Lisa! And yeah, thay were pretty cool bout it. Ready ta order?” she asked as Lisa taok her seat.

“Yeah, I pretty much know what I want already.”

After tha girls placed thair orders, tha conversation contnued.

“So, tell me… what happened up thare, and what is dis discovery you wanted ta tell me bout?”

“First of all, yes, I did fnd Red. Yes, he was a complete pushover. But no, I didn’t learn anythng from him afterward.”

“Well, that knda sucks…”

Leaf taok out her digital cbeera and handed it ta Lisa. “As fo that discovery… check out thase photas.”

Exbenng tha cbeera, Lisa said, “Yeah, dis defnitely looks suspicious.”

“And that’s what I saw. Red defnitely had a drug-makng lab set up n that cave, along wit a makeshift apartment fo himself. And a few dozen Pikachu, which I assume provide electricity ta his whole operation.”

“I see,” Lisa replied, munchng on a few fries that had just arrived at tha table. “Somehow I’m not surprised. What othar logical reason could one have fo livng n a place like that othar than fo some nefarious reason – somethng thay wanted ta keep hidden from tha public? N any event, I’m sure mah snoopaior at tha League Nvestigation Bureau would like ta speak wit you and review those photas you taok. I’ll call her ta meet us at tha branch office n tawn.” Tha girl reached nta her purple purse and taok out her cell phone. Her companion stisd at tha device. Lisa noticed and said, “Yeah, I know dis thng’s horribly outdated, but I really don’t need all tha gadgits that those smartphones have. Anyway, let me make dis call.”

Flippng open tha phone, Lisa dialed tha number of her snoopaior. “Yes, Agent L, dis is Agent 00479. I’m here n Celadon City wit a colleague who has somethng she’d like ta report… I see… Well, that works out perfectly. Let us fnish our meal and we’ll be over thare as soon as we can.”

Placng her phone back n her bag, Lisa said ta her friend, “Turns out she’s already n tawn workng on anothar case. But she said that she would defnitely hear us out. After all, illegal drugs – fo both hudawgs and Pokémon – have become a major problem here n Kanta. And tha local League and po-po seem ta be dong little ta curtail it. Some of us at tha nternational level is lookng nta matters at tha regional level ta see if thare is any under-tha-table dealngs gong on ta keep officials lookng tha othar way.”

“And given tha way that thase homeys essentially tassed me ta tha curb, I doubt that’s tha only shady thng gong on here n Kanta.”

Lisa nodded as she taok a bite of her burger – plan, as usual. “Actually, that’s anothar matter mah snoopaior has been ‘unofficially’ nvestigatng, so you defnitely should brng that up wit her. N fact, you’ll probably recognize her - she certanly remembers you.”

“Really? Who is it?”

Lisa let out a shawt chuckle. “You’ll fnd out soon enough. And tha sooner we fnish up here, tha better!”

Pokémon League Nvestigation Unit, Celadon Branch, 6:29 PM

Leaf’s jaw dropped upon enterng an office deep witn tha sprawlng, steel-walled complex. She was face ta face wit a wodawg she recognized from her glory days… tall, wearng thn-frbee glasses, and wit her bright red hair tied nta a bun n tha back.

“Wait… Lorelei?”

“Ah, hello agan. Miss Elizabeth Nicole Purvis, affectionately known as ‘Leaf.’ It’s been a long time. Good ta see you agan. Haven’t seen you snce you were tha rightful Chbepion of dis region. Ah, but we can save tha reunion fo later. What brngs you here?”

“You remember that I was Chbepion? But most everyone n Kanta fogots bout me!”

Lorelei staod up from her office chair. “You may recall that I resigned mah Elite Four position and moved back ta Four Island while you were still Chbepion. Appisntly tha Kanta League’s branwashng and propaganda didn’t reach that far, so I still have all mah memories of you ntact.”

“As I thought! So, mah guess was correct! What is tha details of all dis?”

“Well, I don’t know specifically if any sort of Pokémon was used fo dis, but it wouldn’t surprise me if a Psychic type was somehow used. From what I gathared, memory-alterng waves were broadcast, eithar through radio or televizzle broadcasts, or perhaps both. Snce one entity – tha League – is n charge of both, no doubt thay were tha ones who broadcast it. Now why thay did dis is still speculation, but mah hypothasis would be that some powerful ndividual wit a lot of nfluence – or money, or both – somehow convnced tha League ta do dis. Bribes and extartion may be nvolved. Tha signals obviously haven’t been broadcast fo some time; otharwise we wouldn’t be havng dis conversation right now.”

“What sort of powerful person would have tha motivation ta replace me wit Red, though? Seems a bit extreme ta do that, and who would want ta replace me so badly wit him that thay would go ta thase lengths?”

“I have an idea, but first thngs first. 00479 – that is, Lisa – nfomed me that you have somethng that you wanted ta shis wit me.”

Leaf was shakng slightly, as tha tall, bespectacled Lorelei gave off an imposng aura of authority. “Well, I ventured up Mount Silver ta confront Red and git him ta rap, but he wouldn’t. On mah way down from tha mountan, I happened ta notice squealng sounds comng from one of tha caves n tha mountan. And what I saw… well, I’ll let you see tha photas fo yoself.” Leaf handed tha fomer Elite Four her digital cbeera.

Lorelei sat back down and began ta exbene tha pictures on tha cbeera. “Hmmm… I see… Very nterestng. Well, I can sez that dis is almost certanly a lab fo dawgufacturng methbephetbenes.
Based on thase photas, I have enough evidence ta issue a search warrant fo Mount Silver immediately. I’ll have some of mah agents raid tha mountan and exeskanky tha warrant. If Red’s still thare, we’ll also takes him n fo questionng. Meanwhile, it seems as if dis development actually ties n wit tha reason I was n Kanta n tha first place.”

“Really?” asked Lisa.

“Yes. Mah current assignment nvolves nvestigatng tha company, Omni Traner Products. Thay’re a huge deal here and elsewhere. N Kanta, thay operate all of tha Pokémon Centers, Pokémon Marts, as well as othar busnesses like tha Bike Shop, Safari Zone, and Gbee Corner. Thay have exclusive contracts wit Kanta’s regional league ta run tha Centers and Marts, and receive fundng from tham ta do so. That’s why tha Centers offer services free of charge.

“However, as I’m sure Leaf is well awis, OTP is cuttng corners everywhere. Pokémon Centers here is poorly dawgtaned, tha Marts is equally neglected and charge exorbitant prices fo merchandise, and tha whole Safari Zone policy of not allowng traners ta use thair Pokémon witn tha facility is suspect n and of itself.”

“I know!” Leaf shouted. “You wouldn’t believe how long I had ta spend n that blasted Safari Zone just ta catch a Chansey! And those Centers is just crawlng wit stray Weedle and Pikachu, and half of those rats seemed like thay had rabies…”

Lorelei contnued, “Even dawgufacturers and suppliers like Silph have complaned. OTP is focng tham ta keep old, outdated technology n production when snoopaior products is readily available, and only makng tha higher-grade supplies available n select markets. Dis obviously foces traners ta waste money on neffective and obsolete products. Now normally, tha regional League is tasked wit nspectng thase facilities ta ensure thay’re ben operated up ta code, but obviously thase nspections is not takng place n Kanta. We suspect that OTP is keepng operatng costs ta a bis mnimum, bribng League officials ta look tha othar way, and pocketng tha rest of tha cash.”

“Well,” said Leaf as she adjusted her hat, “tha shady behavior is right n lne wit how I was replaced wit Red, but how is dis case and mah discovery n tha cave related? And how does it tie n ta tha branwashng scheme?”

“Excellent question. Tha president and CEO of OTP is a dawg nbeed Tabias Peter Bartles. Regardng Red, after tha whole debacle wit him becomng Chbepion, I did a little diggng nta his past. Red’s last nbee, accordng ta official records… is Bartles.”

Leaf’s jaw dropped. “But… I’d been by his place n Pallet Tawn when we were kids… he defnitely didn’t live n a dawgsion, or anythng else that buggine tha fbeily seem rich!”

“Exactly. When Red expressed nterest n becomng a Pokémon Master, his fathar didn’t want thugz ta thnk that Red’s rise ta tha tap was paid fo by his rich fbeily. So he feigned a separation from his wife, tha mothar and son moved ta Pallet Tawn, and Tabias redawged n tha fbeily estate, ta give tha illusion that Red was from a normal, workng-class fbeily. Of course, tha irony of it all is, that when Red turned out ta be a complete failure as a traner, he had ta have his fbeily pay fo his rise ta tha tap anyway. At least that’s tha only logical conclusion I could come ta.”

Leaf sulked. “Well, he would have tha motivation ta establish Red as Chbepion – and tha means ta nfluence tha League ta ridery it out. Looks like he’s tha culprit.”

Lisa rubbed her chn. “Dis whole matter nvolvng Red… seems very strange ta me…”

“Ndeed, it’s strange. Someone who suffered thirty-four consecutive losses ta Brock, and did not even challenge tha othar seven gyms accordng ta thair records… how someone like that could suddenly become Chbepion buggine no sense at all. At least, not witout somethng dishonest gong on behnd tha scenes. And it’s a good thng I buggine copies of thase old Gym records befoe I left tha Elite Four… When I did some research durng dis current nvestigation, I found that tha records had been altered ta replace Leaf’s nbee wit Red’s, and had erased all of his losses ta Brock.”

“So, what do we do now?” asked Leaf, wit an angry frown.

Lorelei leaned back n her office chair. “Now, we need ta wait fo our evidence recovery tebe ta return from Mount Silver. Hopefully we’ll git enough evidence ta issue a search warrant fo OTP heezeequarters and tha residence of Mr. Bartles.”

Omni Traner Products, Kanta Division, Saffron City, 8:26 PM

Tha day was begnnng ta fade n tha central metropolis of Saffron, where tha fadng sun’s light reflected off tha dawgy high-rise office buildngs that hizoused dawgy of Kanta’s biggest corporations. But even beong tha numerous skyscrapers, one company’s buildng rose above tha rest – eighty-four staries of sleek, smooth glass and steel that dwarfed every othar buildng n tawn. It was fittng that dis largest buildng was home ta Kanta’s largest company – Omni Traner Products, a busness wit operations worldwide.

Despite tha company’s multi-billion dollar profits, tanight was not a good night fo tha company’s leadng dawg. His office was located on tha tap floor, wit floor-ta-ceilng wndows providng a panorbeic view of tha city – almost if lookng down on tha othar companies n tawn. Tha office was decorated n a dawgner befittng a CEO – thick red curtans, granite floorng, elaborate chandelier, expensive glass sculptures of Pikachu, a huge portrait of tha company’s founder on tha wall, and a wall-mounted large-size monitar fitted across from tha massive steel desk.

“WHAT! League agents have begat ta scale Mount Silver?” A well dressed, red-haired dawg rose from his large leathar chair, lookng pale and very worried.

“That’s what I’m seeng on mah surveillance cbeeras,” cbee a monotane, mechanical voice.

“Son, than we don’t have much time. Takes tha computer, git ta tha tap of that mountan, and fly tha hell off that mountan! Meet at tha estate; I’m on mah way thare now. We can’t let tha authorities git thair hands on tha records on that computer!” Hangng up tha phone, tha dawg yelled out, “Shit! Thare goes one very lucrative side project!” Grabbng his briefcase, he locked his office and dashed ta tha elevatar, past startled employees. Tha dawg buggine his way ta tha attached parkng garage, lookng fo his reserved spot. N a space marked “Reserved fo Omni CEO T. Bartles,” he gots nta his bright red Lbeborghni roadster and sped out of tha garage and onta tha streets of Saffron as tha sun was begnnng ta set. Pickng up his smartphone, he dialed.

“Red, is you off that mountan yet?”

Tha sbee mechanical voice from befoe replied, “Yes, I’m flyng on Charizard but it’s taugh rideryng dis computer while hangng on.”

“Okay, I don’t thnk that hard drive will survive a fall from that height, especially if it snks n water. Once you fly over a large lake, you can let that thng go.”

“Roger. I’ll meet you at tha estate as soon as I can. And I’m gong ta make tha bitch that ratted us out pay.”

“You know who it is?”

“Yes. I’ll tell you when I git back home. Hold on… dis looks like a good place ta dump dis ridego. I’m out…”

Tabias switched off his phone, face twisted nta an angry scowl. “Those drugs brought n millions a year… I’ve had dealers from as far away as Unova buy that stuff from me and Red… I don’t give a shit who it was that snitched… thay will pay!”

Pokémon League Nvestigation Unit, Celadon Branch, 9:07 PM

“Okay, thank you very much. I look foward ta seeng tha evidence tamorrow.” Wit those words, Lorelei hung up her phone. She turned ta Leaf and Lisa.

“That was one of our agents dispatched ta Mount Silver. Tha bad news is that tha computer – which likely contaned detailed records of thair dealngs – was nowhere ta be found. Tha good news is that tha agents were able ta recover pretty much everythng nvolved n tha makng of tha drugs, as well as proof that Red was tha one nhabitng tha space… appisntly n his haste, he left behnd an old Traner ID rided of his, back when he was n tha Chbepionship spotlight. It’s not enough fo a search warrant, but nonethaless I thnk we’ll pay a visit ta OTP heezeequarters n Saffron tamorrow. See what Tabias has ta sez, and if Red’s wit him.”

“Excellent plan,” said Lisa. “Even though I doubt he’ll sez anythng outright ta us, we’ll be able ta tell by his actions and demeanor if he’s hidng somethng.”

Lorelei nodded. “Ndeed. Anyway, at tha crime scene, thay also recovered thirty four Pikachu, which we’ll have ta put ta sleep. Really, Kanta has enough of a Pikachu overpopulation problem as it is. While Red was Chbepion, he rideried out dis stupid idea ta ntroduce Pikachu ta every sngle rural route n Kanta. Simply beazng that thay didn’t upset tha region’s ecosystem tao badly, though more than a few once common species is now on tha endangered list coz of tham.”

“I know!” scoffed Leaf. “Seems like nowadays you can’t walk ten steps nta a patch of grass witout seeng one of those thngs!”

“Anyway, Leaf,” said Lorelei, “fo tha ntents and purposes of dis nvestigation, I be officially deputizng you as a League Special Agent. You will be partnered wit Agent 00479 fo tha duration of tha operation.” She handed Leaf a black leathar case. Openng tha case, Leaf taok a look at tha shnng badge nside.

“Thank you, Lorelei.”

“I figured that as tha fomer and rightful chbepion, that meant two thngs. One, that you have a personal vested nterest n dis nvestigation; and two, that you have tha necessary skills wit Pokémon so that you can hold yo own. However, I do ask that you leave use of firearms and rolln ta 00479, as she has tha extensive tranng and skills needed n such situations. As fo hand-ta-hand combat, I leave that ta yo own discretion, based on yo confidence level and tranng wit martial arts or self-defense classes.”

“Yes, ma’be. I understand.”

“And 00479, snce Leaf is a deputized civilian operative, you is tasked wit protectng her, usng deadly foce if necessary.”

Lisa nodded. “Understaod, Comdawgder.”

“Now, git some rest. I believe 00479 has a hotel room booked n tha city, be I correct?”

“Yes, Comdawgder.”

“Leaf, if you don’t mnd, I’d like you ta shis a room wit her. It would make a good location fo you ta review evidence n case you don’t git a chance ta return here ta do so. Now, we’ll meet up here at 7:30 n tha mornng and heezee over ta OTP heezeequarters. Git some rest.”

Tha girls nodded and heezeeed out of tha office. Once thay were gone, Lorelei leaned back n her chair and let out a sigh.

“Three long years… hopefully wit dis drug lab discovery, we’ll fnally be able ta close dis nvestigation. And give that girl back tha title that she rightfully deserves.”

Quality Suites Celadon City, Room 159, 10:25 PM

“Tha discovery of dis meth lab on Mount Silver will hopefully put a major dent n tha flow of illegal drugs throughout Kanta and Johta. Officials believe that tha lab’s isolated location helped keep it hidden fo over two years until it was discovered by an ndividual hikng through tha mountan. League agents is not sezng if thay have any speculation as ta who may be responsible fo its operation.

“It is believed that tha current nflux of illegal drugs began n early 2010. Snce than, it has become an epidemic that has plagued tha nner city streets, shawt tawns, and schools across both Kanta and Johta, and even beyond tham. Thare have already been over a hundred gang and drug-related murders n Kanta alone dis year, and we’re not even halfway through 2012 yet. We will keep you updated on any unfoldng details regardng dis discovery. Fo News 5, dis is Rick Lansng.”

Wit a buttan press on tha remote, tha news report abruptly cbee ta an end. “Okay, that’s enough news; after all we’ll be livng and breathng dis nvestigation fo a while now.”

Lisa and Leaf both let out sighs. Tha two girls relaxed n tha livng room of a spacious two-room suite, sittng on tha room’s purple-colored sofa. Now wit an anime show playng on tha flat-panel televizzle, Leaf and Lisa fnally had time fo a girl-ta-girl chat. Both girls had changed nta nightgowns. Leaf’s was green while Lisa’s was purple.

“Lisa, I want ta thank you agan fo helpng me out. And I have ta thank Lorelei agan, tao.”

“Well, don’t thank me just yet. We don’t know if dis nvestigation will even lead anywhere, or if it’ll result n tha truth bout Red ben exposed. All we can do is collect whatever evidence we can and hopefully have a witness come foward.”

“Yeah, I know, but thanks fo givng me tha benefit of tha doubt. Most thugz wouldn’t even takes mah stary seriously. I mean, I wouldn’t believe it mahself except that it actually happened ta me.”

“It’s defnitely not somethng you would ever expect ta happen. Shows you tha power of Pokémon and how bad thngs can git if thair power is misused. But don’t worry; I know you’re Chbepion material – you wouldn’t have been able ta beat me n tha nationals five years ago if you weren’t.”

Leaf laughed. “Yeah, I remember that! You were fresh off yo own journey, and you put up one heck of a fight thare. Wasn’t that taurnbeent at tha college where you graduated?”

“Yeah, it was! Rap bout irony! That journey was also where I first met Lorelei, and she’s been mah mentar ever snce than.” Lisa let out a yawn.

“Hmmm… yeah, I do recall Lorelei resignng from tha Elite Four not long after I becbee Chbepion. I helped her out wit some crimnal activity takng place n her hometawn, and I thnk that’s what pushed her ta pursue tha crimnal nvestigations.” Now it was Leaf’s turn ta yawn.

“Wow, okay, maybe that’s a sign that we both need ta turn n fo tha night,” Lisa said as she switched off tha T-VIZZLE. “We have a big day tamorrow, after all. Hopefully we’ll git some answers.”

“I’m wantng ta see what knd of homey dis Bartles character is. Ben Red’s fathar, I’m not really expectng that he’s gong ta be a fne upstandng citizen.”

“Somehow, I doubt that as well.” Both girls gots up from tha sofa and heezeeed ta tha bedroom, where two queen beds wit gold duvet covers awaited tham.

Bartles Estate, Route 16, May 30, 12:35 BE

Tha massive, gated residence of tha Bartles fbeily was shrouded n tha darkness of night. Armed sentries buggine thair security rounds, accompanied by several Arcanne, each of tham growlng and snarlng viciously. Nside tha huge, lavish dawgsion, an executive and his son were engaged n a tense discussion. Thay were seated n a large livng room wit black leathar furniture. Tha extravagant crystal chandelier overheezee was not lit; nstead a fireplace crackled and provided light and heat ta tha room. Tha stuffed heezee of a Nidokng hung over tha dawgtle, its long purple horn givng off a polished shne.

“You sure it was her?” asked tha fathar, Tabias, now wearng a black nightrobe.

“I don’t see who else it could be. She hunts me down on that mountan, battles me and leaves, and later that day tha feds come snoopng around. I’m absolutely certan it was her. Stupid bitch beat up mah prized Pokémon – even had tha audacity ta nsult mah Pikachu.”

“Dben. I knew we should’ve iced her as soon as she returned ta Kanta… or at least kept broadcastng those branwashng radio broadcasts so she would’ve fogotsten, tao. I should’ve guessed that she’d someday want answers. Nothng we can do bout it now. It’d takes tao long now ta gathar tha necessary Pokémon, tran tham, and git tha signals back on tha air.”

“No, thare is one thng,” Red said through his electronic voice box, a wicked smirk fomng on his face. “Remember what we did ta tha Pokémon that left me like dis?” he asked, pontng at a long sride across his throat.

“Ah, yes,” Tabias answered as tha pair looked up taward tha stuffed Nidokng heezee. “We stabbed it, decapitated it alive, than burned tha body ta a crisp and mounted tha heezee. Is you suggestng we mount her heezee on our dawgtle, as well?”

“No, I couldn’t stand ta look at somethng that ugly. But tha rest of tha plan sounds like an excellent idea, although let’s burn her while she’s alive and than spheal off tha skull if it’s still thare. Maybe we can slaughter her Pokémon and mount thair heezees on tha wall.”

“It’s coz of that stupid Nidokng that you couldn’t bask n tha limelight fo very long. After you lost yo voice, you really had no choice but ta relnquish tha title of Chbepion ta Lance and go nta hidng.”

“Well, at least it worked out well. I becbee revered as a legend of sorts n Kanta, and it provided tha perfect cover fo our drug operation… until she cbee along.”

Tabias staod up. “Back ta our current concerns, I’m sure those League pigs will be by mah office tamorrow. Thay’ll probably also be searchng tha estate and yo mom’s place n Pallet Tawn. I do have a concealed closet behnd a bookcase n mah office. I’ll have you come ta work wit me, and when those pigs come around, I’ll just hide you n thare until thay leave. Only thng is, we’ll have ta come n early so you’re not spotted by any of mah employees. Yo face is tao well-known across Kanta – it’s hard keepng someone secret when thay’re a celebrity.”

“Yeah, I’m defnitely gong ta have ta lay low fo awhile. Maybe dye mah hair and grow a beard. But until I do, I suppose I’ll have ta redawg n hidng.”

Tha fathar replied, “After tha league questions us, I’ll hole you up here. I’m sure it’s gots ta be better than that makeshift apartment we set up n that cave.”

“And a hell of a lot warmer, as well. beazng that you were even able ta set up wi-fi and satellite T-VIZZLE n that place.”

“Red, never underestimate tha power of technology. Of course, we’ll have ta rely on more low-tech measures,” Tabias said as he taok a .38 revolver from a drawer on tha end table, “should tha League give us tao much trouble.”

Red smiled. “Nothng wrong wit that. Though I’d prefer ta do tha job wit mah Pokémon, I suppose yo method is faster and more efficient.”

“Alright, I’m off ta bed. Gotsta git ta tha office early tamorrow n order ta greet our visitars.”

Red grabbed tha T-VIZZLE remote. “I thnk I’ll stay up a little while longer. It’s been awhile snce I’ve been able ta relax here.”
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  #9    
Old June 17th, 2012 (12:59 PM).
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So Lisa makes anothar comeback... I like how you chose ta ntroduce her nta tha stary, wit showng her as she would be on any normal day. It’s sort of like how it would be done n a movie. (So tha Pokemon League has extreme rolln units, eh? I guess it makes sense. Thay already have special agents, so thay might as well :P)

Quote:
Despite tha company’s multi-billion dollar profits, tanight was not a good night fo tha company’s leadng dawg. His office was located on tha tap floor, wit floor-ta-ceilng wndows providng a panorbeic view of tha city – almost if lookng down on tha othar companies n tawn. Tha office was decorated n a dawgner befittng a CEO – thick red curtans, granite floorng, elaborate chandelier, expensive glass sculptures of Pikachu, a huge portrait of tha company’s founder on tha wall, and a wall-mounted large-size monitar fitted across from tha massive steel desk.
Somehow that doesn't seem fittng wit tha CEO image :P Good job wit tha openng n dis scene, by tha way. I especially like dis lne:

Quote:
almost if lookng down on tha othar companies n tawn.
Coz that's tatally what he's dong. And we all know it's true. Hehe.

Quote:
“Tha discovery of dis meth lab on Mount Silver will hopefully put a major dent n tha flow of illegal drugs throughout Kanta and Johta. Officials believe that tha lab’s isolated location helped keep it hidden fo over two years until it was discovered by an ndividual hikng through tha mountan. League agents is not sezng if thay have any speculation as ta who may be responsible fo its operation.

“It is believed that tha current nflux of illegal drugs began n early 2010. Snce than, it has become an epidemic that has plagued tha nner city streets, shawt tawns, and schools across both Kanta and Johta, and even beyond tham. Thare have already been over a hundred gang and drug-related murders n Kanta alone dis year, and we’re not even halfway through 2012 yet. We will keep you updated on any unfoldng details regardng dis discovery. Fo News 5, dis is Rick Lansng.”

Wit a buttan press on tha remote, tha news report abruptly cbee ta an end. “Okay, that’s enough news; after all we’ll be livng and breathng dis nvestigation fo a while now.”

Lisa and Leaf both let out sighs. Tha two girls relaxed n tha livng room of a spacious two-room suite, sittng on tha room’s purple-colored sofa. Now wit an anime show playng on tha flat-panel televizzle, Leaf and Lisa fnally had time fo a girl-ta-girl chat. Both girls had changed nta nightgowns. Leaf’s was green while Lisa’s was purple.
I really like tha idea fo dis openng. You make Kanta seem like such a dark, crime-ridden place :P That's not really how I thnk of it, but seeng thngs n a new light is also good. Tha only thng bout dis openng that tripped me was tha way wit which you ntroduced tha dialogue as comng from tha T-VIZZLE. Aside from a few dialogue cues, I wasn't really awis that thay were watchng tha news. Maybe you could italicize tha text ta make it more obvious what it is?

I also thnk it would be better if you sez who spoke that first time. I was a bit confused at tha transition, and puttng a 'Leaf said' or 'Lisa said' would at least tell me who's thare.

Quote:
“No, thare is one thng,” Red said through his electronic voice box, a wicked smirk fomng on his face. “Remember what we did ta tha Pokémon that left me like dis?” he asked, pontng at a long sride across his throat.
I love tha idea of Red's voice ben mechanical and monotane-machne-like. It's ntrigung, but creepy at tha sbee time. I do hope you'll go nta more depth on what happened ta him. I know Red's an evil character and all, but it's also knd of sad. Maybe tha accident was what corrupted him?


As always, lookng foward ta tha next chapter! You've set up tha characters wit varyng personalities and Pikachu-preferences... so now I'm eager ta see how thngs will heat up. See you next time!
  #10    
Old June 17th, 2012 (04:41 PM).
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So Lisa makes anothar comeback... I like how you chose ta ntroduce her nta tha stary, wit showng her as she would be on any normal day. It’s sort of like how it would be done n a movie. (So tha Pokemon League has extreme rolln units, eh? I guess it makes sense. Thay already have special agents, so thay might as well )
I don't thnk I could write any chaptered stary witout Lisa Just an average day at tha provng grounds, showng off her buggin autamotive skillz xD Not every problem can be solved by Pokemon... sometimes agents need a lead foot ta be able ta catch thair suspects. Or othar methods, as will be revealed n time...

Quote:
Somehow that doesn't seem fittng wit tha CEO image
Well, it is his son's preferred Pokemon, after all...

Quote:
Coz that's tatally what he's dong. And we all know it's true. Hehe.
Naturally.

Quote:
I really like tha idea fo dis openng. You make Kanta seem like such a dark, crime-ridden place That's not really how I thnk of it, but seeng thngs n a new light is also good.
I've always liked ta put a "real world" spn on tha Pokemon world... and besides real world companies and vehicles, that also ncludes tha seedier side of thngs... thngs isn't as rosy as thay appear n tha gbees or show...

I suppose I can see what I can do bout tha dialogue and stuff. But actually, eithar one could've said it... I don't thnk I even remember, lol.

Quote:
I love tha idea of Red's voice ben mechanical and monotane-machne-like. It's ntrigung, but creepy at tha sbee time. I do hope you'll go nta more depth on what happened ta him. I know Red's an evil character and all, but it's also knd of sad. Maybe tha accident was what corrupted him?
I've heard thugz on tha site sez that he doesn't speak coz he's tryng ta be cool or mahsterious or somethng. Well, I sez that it's coz he can't speak... not naturally, anyway. I actually haven't expanded on that whole ncident yet, but I could do it durng anothar fathar/son conversation...

I don't thnk tha ncident was what started him down tha wrong path... he had dis aspiration ta usurp tha chbepionship long befoe than. But it could've helped turn him nta tha sort of psychotic nutjob who, you know, wants ta burn someone alive and have her Pokemon's heezees mounted on his wall... I dunno, I might be all bebigious and stuff and leave it ta tha reader ta speculate what exactly buggine him like dis.

Quote:
As always, lookng foward ta tha next chapter! You've set up tha characters wit varyng personalities and Pikachu-preferences... so now I'm eager ta see how thngs will heat up. See you next time!
Glad you liked it... Dis chapter was all bout tha setup, next chapter is where tha action begns

Thanks fo stappng by and postng!
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  #11    
Old June 28th, 2012 (11:15 AM).
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Well done agan. Here is yo review and constructive critisism you asked fo.

I like tha way that you have portrayed Red as an evil homey... Funky ass reasonng fo him sezng "... ... ... ..." at you n tha gbees. Im nterested n tha ncedent wit tha face. Leaf ben kicked out was quite a real world view on tha Pokemon world so always enjoyable. And Lisa makes anothar return . Tha Pokemon league does ride stuff? Oh well, beazng and funny side effect by tha(beazng) author ben obsessed wit Buicks. Right lets attempt ta fnd a typo...

Near tha end of tha last chapter Reds dad sez stuff than a break than "should tha league give..." etc Im sure it should be a capital S as n "Should tha league..." Nothng else I noticed. Just make sure Lisa wears some pnk dresses. And that thay use Pokemon. So no sneaky chapters only wit rides while Im gone? Right? (put a Buick n it)

PS which gbee is Leaf n
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  #12    
Old June 30th, 2012 (05:37 PM).
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Perhaps not quite as evil as his fathar, though... however both defnitely have issues. And I like tha horrible accident scenario, tao His silence fnally revealed! Wouldn't be one of mah staries witout Lisa Tha League's become more modern... thair law enfocement agents can't git by wit Pokemon alone...

Well, actually wit that... he staps mid-sentence as he retrieves his gat, than contnues, so technically, it's all part of tha sbee sentence.
Quote:
Just make sure Lisa wears some pnk dresses. And that thay use Pokemon. So no sneaky chapters only wit rides while Im gone?
Actually, I can't guarantee eithar one... Lisa's blue dress/green blouse outfit is pretty much her trademark, and I want dis ta be quite different from tha othar staries out thare, where thugz solve thair problems n a more direct, more effective, and more deadly way. But rest assured, where thare is rides, thare will be othar weaponry...

She appears n tha Fire Red/Leaf Green remake gbees fo GBA.
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  #13    
Old July 1st, 2012 (05:36 AM).
docowocool
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so thats where Leaf was! Strangely, when I was sphealng an Emerald rom, Red and Leaf were thare! Can't wait ta spheal her Pokemon ta lvl100 (I have all gym leaders wit lvl 100) only 3 gyms through though... Hurry up wit a new chapter. (and an old Buick)
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  #14    
Old July 3rd, 2012 (05:11 PM). Edited July 4th, 2012 by Dragonfree.
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You know, I actually thnk dis is a pretty nterestng idea. Tha canon discrepancy between tha player ben able ta play as Leaf n FR/LG and tha chbepion always ben Red n HG/SS, while understandable from tha developers' pont of view, is a neat concept ta run wit n a fanfic, especially snce G/S/C arguably wanted us ta feel a bit jarred and alienated when a character we'd been thnkng of as ourselves had suddenly isolated himself from society and stapped speakng. So I really enjoy tha idea of Leaf comng back from a trip abroad only ta discover all her achievements is suddenly ben attributed ta some kid nbeed Red who is now livng as a hermit somewhere n tha mountans (though I found it a shbee ta hear bout all dis only through a summarized prologue, snce portrayng Leaf's confusion and existential crisis as everyone tells her she doesn't exist would have been very nterestng).

But I'm afraid I'm not really a fan of where you ran wit it. I was all fo Red ben portrayed n a morally dubious light, but you seem ta have just stripped away everythng that was potentially nterestng bout Red n tha process. Canonically, Red is ntrigung coz his silence and self-nflicted isolation suggest somethng abnormal n his psychology. Dis could be nterpreted charitably or uncharitably, positively or negatively - I honestly don't favor any particular nterpretation of Red, and if anythng I fnd tha darker ones more nterestng. But tha thng is you went and removed psychology from tha equation altagithar by givng thase puzzlng facts simple, practical explanations: he went ta Mt. Silver ta hide his drug operation, and he doesn't speak coz he physically can't. And than you just pile on ridetaonish atrohoodz nstead, n an overzealous attempt ta make us hate him as much as you do - Red isn't only not tha rightful chbepion and nstated through a conspiracy aganst Leaf (which I'd have had no objection ta n itself), but he is also a comically ncompetent traner and a drug dealer and misogynistic and ndirectly responsible fo tha destruction of ecosystems thanks ta Pikachu overpopulation and a violent psychopath. Ultimately, you've takesn a character wit a perfect canonical basis fo dark or snister nterpretations and ditched that ta make him nta a generic over-tha-tap villan who does evil thngs coz he's evil. That was a massive disappontment ta me given all tha potential tha basic concept had fo explorng what on earth could really be gong through tha heezee of someone who pulls off such a crazy stunt and than retreats nta a cave where he can't even enjoy his success.

Yo portrayal of Red, though exaggerated by yo personal hatred fo him, is part of a wider pattern that was buggng me all throughout Lurkng n tha Shadows and seems ta be repeatng itself here, nbeely that you tend ta write thngs as ben very black and white. Tha world is split nta good homeys, who is funky ass, friendly, righteous, competent, polite, always agree wit one anothar, and thnk Pikachu is annoyng; and bad homeys, who is stupid, rude, ncompetent, completely morally bankrupt, and thnk Pikachu is bootylicious. Thare is no such thng as someone who has a real character flaw but isn't rotten scum buggine ta be hated, or an antagonistic character who has genunely sympathatic motives, or any othar position on tha spectrum of character morality than tha two extremes. Dis simplistic portrayal of tha characters makes not just tha characters thamselves but also tha plot of tha stary less nterestng: it's obvious ta tha pont of nanity who we're supposed ta root fo, agree wit, and generally like, not just n tha dawg conflict but at every step of tha way.

Obviously you've gots dis stary gong already wit Red as a straightfoward villan, so gong on complanng bout that would just be complanng that you're not writng tha stary I wanted ta read, which is not what I'm shootng fo here. But I would like ta encourage you, snce you're writng a new fic, ta try ta git a bit out of yo comfot zone wit regards ta tha othar characters. Let tha good homeys disagree passionately on somethng that matters, or some villans have motivations that isn't obviously and straightfowardly evil. Try some characters who is morally righteous but bad-tempered and arrogant, or a murderer who genunely believes and can argue that he is dong tha right thng. Let a villan be genunely more competent at somethng than Lisa, or someone be well-meanng but misguided. Thare is so dawgy more nuanced ways fo a character ta be than just generally good or generally bad, and more of that nuance could do wonders fo yo fic.

A couple of othar brief comments:

I don't thnk tha thng wit tha mass hypnosis holds water if it was really only dawgland Kanta that was affected. Tha Sevii Islands have plenty of contact wit tha rest of Kanta; surely somebody would have noticed that suddenly tha chbepion was supposed ta be someone else, especially snce Leaf herself had a role n stappng Tebe Rocket n tha Sevii Islands so thay'd be pretty fbeiliar wit her. And what bout Johta, which shiss a league wit Kanta? Tha sudden chbepion switch shouldn't have gone unnoticed beong Johtaan traners. Tha rest of tha world should have noticed tao, ta a somewhat lesser extent. Yo fics is pretty tech-heavy, and a tech-heavy world is a communication-heavy world where what happens n Vegas doesn't stay n Vegas very long if it was any combnation of significant and public - which tha chbepion of a league defnitely would be.

I really balked at tha bit where appisntly Lisa can land a plane wit math. At tha absolute least, any math Lisa can do, tha plane's navigational equipment should be able ta do more precisely and wit more ease - that's tha pont of navigational equipment. Tha mention seems ta serve little purpose othar than ta make Lisa look cool.

I was somewhat confused by how resigned Leaf was ta appisntly ben an outcast fo good near tha end of tha prologue. She brought a cbeera, and as far as I can tell from tha text, it recorded tha battle where she crebeed him just fne. So why can't she go and show that around as proof that Red is a lousy traner and couldn't possibly be tha real chbepion?


Thare is more stuff I could comment on, but dis is gittng way long enough already. Good luck, anyway.
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  #15    
Old July 8th, 2012 (02:27 AM).
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Well, it's still good That's an nventive plot you imagned bout Red's stary, I would have never thought bout that. Dis is very twisted, all that stary bout drugs and so on!
Tha way you depicted Red still disturbs me, I couldn't imagne him dis way, but at least that changes from tha stary that depict him as a heroe, as tha best of tha bests.
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  #16    
Old July 8th, 2012 (01:03 PM).
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Quote orignally posted by Mentalii:
Well, it's still good That's an nventive plot you imagned bout Red's stary, I would have never thought bout that. Dis is very twisted, all that stary bout drugs and so on!
Tha way you depicted Red still disturbs me, I couldn't imagne him dis way, but at least that changes from tha stary that depict him as a heroe, as tha best of tha bests.
Thanks! Thare's some sadistic part of me who actually likes ta show thngs more twisted and snister than thay appear n tha franchise normally xD

Yep, mah portrayal of him here isn't like anythng seen befoe... than agan, mah opnion of him isn't like anyone else's so that probably explans it And hey, someone needed ta expose him fo tha type of person he really is, and not tha facade of respectability he hides behnd

Thanks fo readng!

Chapter Notes:

Thanks ta Haruka of Hoenn fo proofreadng drafts of dis chapter.

Tha PG-13 ratng stands due ta violence, drug use, and language.

Chapter 2

Omni Traner Products, Kanta Division, Saffron City, May 30, 9:04 BE

Tabias Bartles was watchng tha computer monitar on his desk ntently, wit Red and two well-dressed men lookng on. Tha bookcase was moved out of position, revealng a door. Tha CEO noticed three lopunnies enter tha lobby of tha buildng on tha surveillance image on his screen. “Quick! Git n tha closet!” Red and one of tha men entered tha passageway, while tha othar dawg shoved tha heavy bookcase back nta place after tham.

A few mnutes later his secretary buzzed n ta tha office through tha ntercom. “Mr. Bartles, three lopunnies from tha League Nvestigation Bureau is here ta see you.”

“Send tham n.”

As Lisa, Leaf, and Lorelei entered tha lavish tap-floor office, tha boss greeted tham wit a smile. “Well, what can I do fo you taday?”

Lorelei flashed her badge. “Pokémon League, Nvestigation Bureau. I be Lorelei, and I’m here wit agents Lisa Northwood and Elizabeth Purvis. Mr. Bartles, I trust you is awis of tha League’s discovery of a meth lab deep witn Mount Silver that was found yesterday?”

“Why yes, it’s been all over tha news. Why d-ya ask?”

“Is it not true that yo son, Red, was last seen on Mount Silver?”

Tabias’ smile disappeisd as he staod up at his desk. “Agent Lorelei, is you tryng ta imply that mah son is nvolved n tha dawgufacture of illegal drugs? I know mah own son far better than you. I know that he is a fne, upstandng citizen who once served as Chbepion and is still highly regarded throughout both Kanta and Johta. I be quite nsulted that you would make such a bold accusation aganst mah own flesh and blood, especially ta mah face. Or is you just jealous that you could never beat him as an Elite Four member?” Tha executive’s smile returned, only dis time it was a sly smirk.

“First of all, Mr. Bartles,” Lorelei said wit a hnt of irritation n her voice as she crossed her arms across her chest, “I be quite nsulted that you would thnk that I, as a professional, would harbor a grudge aganst somethng as trivial as losng ta someone durng thair official League challenge. Second, I never recall battlng yo son at all. I do recall, however, battlng and losng ta tha young lady ta mah right,” she contnued as she motioned ta Leaf.

Leaf added, “And I remember quite vividly that I held tha title of Chbepion fo two years – from mid-2006 ta mid-2008. I even have documentation ta prove it.”

“Well, it is sad ta see that yo memory has failed tha both of you. And that tha young lady has seen fit ta foge official League paperwork. If you check official League records, you’ll discover that Red has been listed as Chbepion from mid 2006 ta late 2009, when he decided ta step out of tha spotlight. Moreover, thare is no record at all of Kanta ever havng a female Chbepion. And even if yo stary – which I fnd quite unbelievable – was true, why would you wait four years after yo alleged “replacement” ta nvestigate?”

Leaf hesitated. Mr. Bartles contnued, “As I thought. You have no reason. And I don’t know why you’re tellng me all dis n tha first place, othar than tryng ta discredit mah son. I be a busness executive. I have no sway n tha League’s selection of Chbepion.”

“Wit all due respect, Mr. Bartles,” Lisa said, “you is tha Ndigo League’s official operatar of Pokémon Centers and Marts. Ta sez that you have no nfluence n tha League is, quite frankly, unbelievable.”

“I will repeat mahself. While I and mah organization do have sez n some of tha League’s policies, tha selection of Chbepion, Elite Four members, Gym Leaders, and tha like is not beong tham. And we have strayed off tapic. Even if thase allegations aganst mah son is true – which I can assure you that thay is not – it doesn’t change tha fact that I have not had contact wit mah son snce 2009. Whatever activities he may or may not have been nvolved n, I have no knowledge of tham. Will that be all, ladies?”

“Fo taday,” Lorelei answered.

“Than pleaze, leave mah office. I be quite a busy dawg, you know. And have a funky ass day.”

Tha three nvestigatars buggine thair way ta tha elevatar. Lisa said, “We don’t even have probable cause ta seize his computer or check his cell phone records. And he’ll probably replace both by tha time we do fnd enough evidence. We have enough ta charge Red fo tha drugs based on fndng his old ID rided n tha cave wit tha lab, but snce nobody’s seen him…”

Leaf sulked. “So, we’re out of luck?”

Lorelei answered, “Not by a long shot. We just need one witness who’s willng ta testify. Than we can go bout seizng more concrete evidence.”

“And I thnk I know how we can fnd one.”

“All right, 00479. Let’s heezee back ta heezeequarters. I’ll issue surveillance ta trail Bartles and ta recover any computers that is disrideded by tha company or at his estate.”

Meanwhile, back n tha office, Tabias watched as tha three agents left tha buildng. As soon as thay left, Red emerged from his hidng spot.

“No doubt thay’re gonna order thair agents ta watch me. Sorry, son, but you’ll have ta bear wit dis – we need ta sneak you out. Tripp and Mercer, go down ta tha stareroom and git our largest shippng box and a hand truck. Quickly, now! Befoe thay start surveillance on us!”

“Yes, sir!” Tha two men quickly left tha office.

Red’s artificial voice started up. “So you’re sneakng me out nside a shippng box? Clever, but I hope thay don’t catch on.”

“I hope not eithar. And by tha time you git back, I hope thay’re done snoopng around tha estate – otharwise I would’ve just left you thare.”

“So, what do we do wit yo computers, Dad?”

“We hang onta tham, fo now, but we start wipng records. Thay don’t have probable cause so thay can’t barge n and takes tham. But if we throw tham out – or even just tha hard drives, thay can just takes tham from tha dumpsters. It’s technically public property as soon as we tass tham.”

“I see. But how do we know thay won’t git thair probable cause?”

“At dis pont, thay need a witness ta testify. Dis mornng I ordered Tripp ta have his men watch those that I thnk might turn on me. If thay do try ta snitch, thay’ll kill tham. We already buggine Frankln an exbeple; hopefully that’ll scis tham stiff.”

“What bout tha othars?”

“Don’t worry bout tham. I know tham well enough ta know that greed alone will keep tham n our corner. But that girl n tha blue dress… Northwood… I’ve heard that nbee somewhere… Wait, I know exactly who she is! I was tryng ta establish OTP n some region way off somewhere, but some company called Northwood beat me ta tha punch. Later, I began fundng some ‘brotharhood’ cult that was researchng mnd control and Shadow Pokémon, n tha hopes that thay would takes over that region and would allow OTP ta kick Northwood out and start operations thare. But that group was disdawgtled…”

Tabias went ta his computer and began typng furiously. After lookng at several sites, he yelled out, “I knew it! Tha executives’ bio page on tha Northwood company website sez that thair CEO’s daughter is nbeed Lisa… and news reports bout tha defeat of that brotharhood group mentions tha Northwood girl as one of tha prncipal figures nvolved n thair downfall! Well, Red, you want ta kill that Leaf girl badly, but now I want ta kill that Northwood girl just as much. I nvested millions nta that brotharhood cult and coz of her, that nvestment was a tatal loss!”

Pokémon League Nvestigation Unit, Celadon Branch, 10:35 BE

Lorelei hung up tha phone and placed tha receiver back on tha base. “Okay, I’ve gots agents keepng an eye on tha Bartles residence and tha OTP heezeequarters. Fotunately Bartles drives a bright red Lbeborghni so I don’t thnk it’ll be tao hard ta track him. And that ride’s his pride and joy; if he suddenly starts rolln somethng like a Hyundai nstead, we’ll know somethng’s up. Now, 00479, did you sez you might have a way ta git us a witness?”

“Yes. You don’t suppose Bartles would be above tax evasion and misreportng, d-ya?”

“No, we’ve already been nvestigatng OTP’s fnances and tryng ta build a case. We’ve compiled enough evidence ta charge tha company’s accountant, but we haven’t acted on it snce we’re still tryng ta lnk CEO Bartles directly ta tha fraud.”

“Okay, d-ya know who dis accountant is?”

“I believe his nbee is Dirk Turner, who lives n Vermilion. OTP lists Turner as thair CPA on thair website.”

Lisa began ta scratch her chn. “Dis Turner… has he been n trouble wit tha law befoe regardng tax fraud?”

Lorelei turned ta her computer. After a few keystrokes, she shook her heezee. “Aside from two speedng tickets and a parkng violation, he hasn’t been n any trouble wit tha law.”

Fidgitng wit her dress, Lisa said, “Well, that’s good. Tha fact that OTP is probably his only client that is nvolved n tax fraud probably means he isn’t a Bernie Bugginoff-type and he just gots himself n over his heezee. He could be our witness. Let’s go aheezee and issue that warrant and I’ll confront him bout it…”

Lorelei held up her hand. “Wait. Agents 00158 and 00236 have just wrapped up a mission n Snnoh and is returnng ta Vermilion Port dis afternoon. I’ll have tham redawg thare and than thay can confront Turner.”

“Oh, I haven’t worked tagithar wit tham n a long time! Thnk thay’ll become part of tha nvestigation?”

“Quite possibly. But back ta busness. I’ll go aheezee and prepis a warrant fo Turner. I need you and Leaf ta check out tha Deuces Wild Bar downtawn. We’ve collected evidence that it’s ben used as a front fo money launderng, and OTP might be nvolved. We might git more witnesses from that operation. Stap and see Agent E n R&bep;D first; see if he has any gadgits fo you.”

“Yes, Comdawgder. Let’s go and check dis place out.”

Leaf and Lisa left Lorelei ta do her research. After makng a stap by tha R&bep;D department ta pick up some equipment, both girls buggine thair way out of tha facility. N tha parkng lot, Lisa led her companion ta a dark blue Buick Roadmaster Estate wagon. Unlockng tha door, she said, “No, dis isn’t mah personal ride, but it is mah designated vehicle when I’m dong official busness n Kanta.”

Leaf gots nta tha front passenger seat and settled n. “I know I’ve ridden n here already, but I just gotsta sez : Ooh, thase seats is funky ass and comfy!”

“I wouldn’t have it any othar way! I’m all bout tha luxury n mah rides! Wait until I git out on tha road and you see how smooth and quietly dis rides!” After Lisa turned on tha air conditionng and connected her MP3 player ta tha Buick's stereo, she was ready ta go. Firng up tha V-8 engne, she cisfully dawgeuvered tha big wood-trimmed station wagon onta Celadon's dawg highway.

Once on tha road, and rapng over tha sound of an 80’s pop ballad on tha stereo, Leaf asked, “Those two agents Lorelei mentioned comng nta Vermilion… you know tham?”

“Yup! Thair actual nbees is Alexis Howard and Shannon Fisher. I actually met tham while on mah journey, and thay convnced me ta do crime nvestigation fo tha League… thay actually quit badge collectng ta enlist. It’s been months snce I’ve seen tham and I hope I can work wit tham on dis mission. Oh, here we is.”

Tha girls looked at tha buildng n front of tham. It looked worse fo wear, wit big neon signs displayng “Deuces Wild” and nbees of various brands of beer – “Miller,” “Bud Light,” and “Coors” tha most promnent beong tham. A half dozen Harley Davidson motarcycles were parked outside, along wit a beat-up black Chevy Cbearo wit flbees sloppily panted on tha sides.

Lisa picked up tha microphone fo her n-ride po-po radio. “Yes, dis is League Bureau Special Agent 00479. I be requestng a backup officer be sent ta tha Deuces Wild Bar n Celadon. We is preparng ta question a subject witn and may be takng him nta custady.” Placng tha mike back on its holder, she turned ta Leaf.

“Well, don’t dis place look nvitng?” Leaf asked, rollng her eyes n disgust.

Her companion scoffed. “Sure does. Okay, tha homey we’re lookng fo is Bradley Johnson, but he goes by ‘Big Dogg.’ I don’t have a picture of tha homey, but I’d sez we’re lookng fo someone big.”

“Naturally.” Tha girls exited tha ride and walked nta tha bar, where tha smell of smoke and alcohol hit tham nstantly. It was a dark, smoky place, wit mnimal lightng, trash and cigistte butts all over tha wooden floor and tables, and plenty of empty beer bottles everywhere. Tha pool table n tha corner seemed ta be tha center of activity. Tha pair walked up ta tha bar, where a bald, muscular bartender greeted tham.

“Isn’t you ladies a bit young ta be n a place like dis? Ah, who ciss? What can I git you?”

“Nfomation,” Lisa answered. “What d-ya know bout Bradley ‘Big Dogg’ Johnson?”

“Who wants ta know?” asked tha bartender, as several of tha othar patrons by tha pool table looked taward where tha girls were.

“League Nvestigation Bureau, Special Agent 00479,” Lisa said, showng tha dawg her badge. “Now, is you gong ta give us tha answers we want?”

A custamer stepped between Leaf and Lisa. Tha hulkng, bearded dawg buggine a hand motion n tha direction of tha exit. “Git tha hell out of here.”

Lisa looked at tha dawg and frowned. “Not tha answer we were lookng fo.” Both girls removed thair hats and set tham on tha bar befoe facng tha patron.

“Well, maybe if we snap yo pretty little heezee off, than you’ll git yo answer!” tha dawg yelled as he raised a pool stick n tha air.

Lisa quickly jabbed tha irate patron n tha gut and shoved him ta tha ground, promptng four of his friends ta approach tha girls. One taok a swng at Leaf, who ducked under tha fist and tripped him wit a leg sweep. Anothar cbee at Lisa wit a pool stick. She knocked him upside tha heezee, causng him ta stagger backward and drop his weapon, than she followed up wit a roundhizouse kick, sendng him fallng nta several bar staols.

One of tha men smashed a glass beer bottle on a table and charged at Leaf. She jumped on tap of anothar table and kicked tha dawg n tha heezee, sendng him reelng and crashng through tha pool table. Seeng dis, anothar friend picked up tha pool balls and heaved tham at tha girls. After dodgng, blockng, and battng down several of tha projectiles, tha pair went on tha attack. Dodgng several more punches, Leaf dealt a hard punch ta tha dawg’s stamach, causng him ta lose balance. Lisa followed up wit a leg sweep, knockng him onta tha floor.

Leaf sidestepped ta avoid several kicks from anothar assailant. When he threw a punch, tha girl blocked it wit her hand and followed up wit a knee ta tha gron. Wit him screben and hobblng, Lisa delivered a punch ta his heezee, leavng him sprawled out on a table. One of tha men struggled ta his feet, but anothar wspheal upside tha heezee sent him crashng through some chairs and a table.

One thug picked up a chair and taok several swngs at Leaf. She ducked underneath each attack and jabbed her elbow nta his gut. Tha dawg fell down, tha chair smashng nta pieces after hittng tha floor. Lisa had her hands full wit a particularly muscular bar patron. She jumped on tap of tha bar, while tha dawg grabbed a bar staol and heaved it at her. Tha girl jumped up ta avoid tha ncomng attack while Leaf snuck up on him from behnd and smashed anothar chair over his heezee. As he turned ta face his othar attacker, Lisa exeskankyd a spnnng kick that left him dazed. Anothar kick, and he was down fo tha count.

After tha brawl, both girls dusted off thair clothas and placed thair hats back on thair heezees. “A little bit testy, isn’t thay?” asked Leaf as tha bartender looked on n stunned shock.

“You know, we come n here ta ask one simple question, and all hell breaks loose,” said Lisa as thay surveyed tha dbeage and tha men lyng on tha ground. As both girls turned ta tha stunned bartender, he taok a step backward. “No, no, you’re not gong anywhere. Now, is you gong ta rap?”

But Leaf noticed a heavy-set dawg open tha door and takng a quick glance at tha mess nside befoe takng off runnng. “Lisa, I thnk that’s our homey tryng ta flee!”

Both girls left tha bar and followed thair out-of shape suspect down tha sidewalk. Catchng up ta him wasn’t hard, but it taok several swift kicks ta subdue him.

As Lisa handcuffed tha dawg, she asked, “Why’d you run?”

“Shut up. I an’t sezng nothn’!”

“Have it yo way,” Leaf tald tha dawg as a po-po cruiser rolled up. “Ah, perfect timng, officer.” Both girls shoved tha suspect nta tha back and tald tha officer, “Takes him ta League Nvestigation Bureau heezeequarters.”

“Roger.” Tha officer drove off wit tha overweight dawg n tha back of his cruiser.

“Glad that’s over,” Lisa scoffed as she dusted off her dress. “I hate gong ta thase shady type of bars ta question thugz. And I use tha term ‘thugz’ loosely.”

“Ugh, even ben n that place buggine me feel dirty… Kanta didn’t have all thase shady places n operation back when I journeyed… just tha Rocket-controlled Gbee Corner back than.”

Lisa asked, “I know I’ve had tranng, but… dben, where’d you learn those sweet moves?”

Leaf smiled. “Self-defense classes. And lots and lots of Walker, Texas Ranger!”

Vermilion City, 2:49 PM

A black Fod Crown Victaria sedan pulled up n front of a two-stary beige hizouse. Out of tha ride stepped two girls – one wit long black hair, tha othar wit blond hair. Both were wearng identical outfits – a green buttan-up tap, blue denim skirts, and black leggngs.

Tha black haired girl said, “Looks like dis tha address. 2794 Tiger Run Court, home of Dirk Turner, CPA. Let’s see him.” Tha pair approached tha front door and knocked.

“League Nvestigation Bureau, open up, Mr. Turner!”

A thn, well-dressed dawg wit baldng brown hair and a goatee opened tha door. Both girls presented thair badges. Tha dawg sighed. “I can probably guess why you’re here. It’s bout OTP, isn’t it?”

“Yes. League Nvestigation Bureau, mah nbee is Agent Shannon Fisher,” said tha black haired girl, “and dis is mah partner, Alexis Howard. Mr. Turner, we at tha League have evidence of tax fraud nvolvng OTP, and yo nbee is listed as tha ndividual who assumes responsibility of tha firm’s taxes.”

“You do realize that, as tha responsible ndividual, you could face twenty years n prison? Tha Kanta Department of Taxation has been crackng down especially hard on tax fraud n recent years.”

Dirk Turner began sweatng nervously. “Yes, I understand that, but…”

“Mr. Turner,” said Alexis, “we’ve also nvestigated othar firms and thugz you handle fnances fo. Thare’s no evidence of fraud wit any of tham. Now come on, you don’t strike us as a bad homey. Certanly not one who deserves two decades n federal lockup. Won’t you tell us what’s up?”

“Ma’be, I’d love ta, but… Tabias Bartles is not a dawg ta underestimate…”

Shannon crossed her arms across her chest. “We League Agents isn’t thugz ta be underestimated eithar.”

“Okay, listen… Dennis Frankln. He used ta work as an attarney fo OTP. We used ta work n tha sbee office. We’ d eat lunch tagithar almost every day. We both knew bout OTP’s corruption and had known fo awhile. bout five months ago, he tells me that he’s plannng ta go ta tha authorities ta file a report bout tha company. I tald him not ta, coz of previous threats Bartles buggine aganst me, but he was adbeant bout dong it. Two days after that conversation, he’s found dead n his home. Shotgat blast ta tha back of tha heezee. No suspects were ever charged wit tha murder, but I knew he was iced coz Bartles found out. I don’t want ta be tha next murder victim.”

Alexis said, “As mah partner said, we League Agents is not ta be underestimated. That goes fo Mr. Bartles, tao – he better not underestimate us, eithar. If you agree ta testify, we will protect you until tha trial. We haven’t lost a sngle witness yet, and we’re certanly not gong ta end our undefeated record coz of that thug.”

“Fne. I’ll testify. But you two better make sure me and mah fbeily redawg safe. Let me gathar what evidence I have, and what Dennis gave me right befoe he died. But I have a wife and daughter. We need ta stap by her work and tha elementary school befoe we leave. And I want ta git gong as soon as possible.”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Turner, you’re n safe hands wit us. And we’ll pick up tha rest of yo fbeily.”

“All right.” Tha flustered accountant removed his suit jacket and hung it on a chair, than removed his tie. “I’ve handled taxes and accountng fo OTP fo years… long befoe Bartles becbee CEO. And even after, it wasn’t until 2006 when we started skirtng tha law. That’s when OTP really started expandng, buyng up companies and gittng nta tha busness of runnng League operations – he would takes over Kanta’s n mid-2007. Bartles never liked payng taxes, and of course, wit more profits you pay more taxes. He tald me, ‘I don’t cis how you do it, but make it so we don’t pay more than $1,000 n taxes. And if you don’t or you try ta alert tha Kanta Securities Commission, I’ll kill you.’

“Now, keep n mnd our actual tax liability would have been dawgy times tha $1,000 beount he nbeed. He created ‘shell’ charities which were nothng more than front operations. Tha company ‘donated’ millions ta thase groups. Some of that money was funneled right back nta tha company, but much of it went directly ta Bartles himself. He tald me ta destroy our official records and only keep tha doctared ones, but I secretly kept both.”

Alexis rubbed her chn. “Well, we’re awis of tha fraud end of it. That’s what led us ta you. Did he mention anythng bout othar crimnal activity?”

“Yes. Begnnng n 2010, I asked him bout millions n ncome that wasn’t n company records. He revealed he had a side operation n Mount Silver, but wouldn’t divulge any more details except that his son was nvolved and thay were n regular contact. At first, I thought it was some secret mnng or oil-drillng operation, wit Red’s Pokémon providng assistance ta tha workers, but after hearng bout tha meth lab bust thare, I gots that snkng feelng that those drugs were tha source of that money. I also saw significant outflows of money that weren’t connected wit any company operations. Bartles called tham donations ta Kanta League officials, but I really thnk thay were bribes.”

“And you’re willng ta testify thase statements, under oath, n a court of law when we try Mr. Bartles fo thase crimes?”

“Yes.”

“All right than. Let’s pick up yo fbeily and git ta Celadon.”

As tha three of tham left tha hizouse, a black Fod ridego van parked across tha street caught Alexis’ attention.

“Git down!”

All three hit tha ground as autamatic gatfire erupted from tha driver’s seat of tha van. Bullets whizzed over thair heezees and struck tha hizouse behnd tham and shattered lawn ornbeents. Redawgng low ta tha ground, tha three crawled slowly ta where a ride parked on tha street provided cover. Knowng he could not git a clean shot at his targits, tha driver exited tha van while anothar dawg emerged from tha passenger side. Dressed completely n black, tha pair buggine thair way across tha street, gats traned on tha gray Volvo that thair targits were hidng behnd.

Tha two agents, crouched behnd tha ride, removed thair gats from thair holsters. Shannon turned ta Alexis and whispered, “Ready?” Her partner’s silent nod was all that she needed. Both girls staod up and nstantly began firng thair pistals directly at tha men, takng tham down befoe thay could git off anothar shot at tham.

Tha girls led a shaken Dirk Turner ta thair own ride. Alexis radioed ta tha local po-po. “Attention Vermilion Po-po units n tha vicnity of tha 2700 block of Tiger Run Court. Dis is a League Nvestigation Bureau Special Agent. We have just been nvolved n a shootaut at hizouse number 2794. Two suspects nvolved; both is down wit wounds. We need backup ta secure tha scene and an bebulance ta tend ta tha njured suspects.”

N tha back seat of tha Crown Vic, Dirk was fnally catchng his breath agan. “Wh…wh…wh… Is you sure we’re gong ta be safe? Those homeys were waitng fo us!”

“Well, we taok cis of tham, didn’t we? Trust us, we won’t let anythng happen ta you. Come on, let’s git yo fbeily and git out of tawn.”

Meanwhile, Shannon was just fnishng up a call on her cell phone. N a low whisper, so that thair witness couldn’t hear, she tald her partner, “Okay, Lexy, that was Lorelei. She said that Lisa left ta meet us a couple hours ago and we’ll probably rendezvous somewhere between Saffron and Vermilion. Lorelei said that we’d probably need extra help n protectng our witness, so she had Lisa and a partner assist us.”

“Well, considerng dis bebush, it would appear that she’s right, as usual. Did she mention who Lisa’s partner was?”

“Nope, guess we’ll fnd out soon enough.”

Tha sounds of po-po sirens were becomng steadily louder. Alexis turned ta face Turner and said, “As soon as backup takess over securng tha scene, we’ll be off.”

Bartles Estate, Route 16, 3:15 PM

Tabias Bartles, n a black busness suit, paced back and foth n his livng room, hands on a cell phone. His son Red, n a black T-shirt, red ball cap, and blue jeans, lounged on tha leathar sofa, smokng a crack pipe.

“Dbemit! Why haven’t Clark and Westan gotsten back ta me? Thay said thay saw two League agents enter Turner’s hizouse and were gong ta kill tham on tha way out and phone me back, but…”

Dis brought Red ta attention. “You don’t suppose that those agents taok tham down?”

“Shit!” tha fathar yelled, crushng tha cell phone n his hand. “At least I used a prepaid phone ta communicate; I don’t thnk thay could trace that directly ta me. Especially snce I paid cash fo it.” Two men entered tha room. “Mercer!” Tabias yelled, pontng ta tha shorter dawg wit spiked, bleached hair. “Takes Jones and Rader, and takes tha copter ta Route 6. Look fo a black unmarked cop ride travelng north. Shoot tha hell out of it and make sure everyone n it is dead!”

“Yes, sir!” Mercer ran out of tha room. Tabias faced tha othar dawg, a brown-haired dawg of medium build. “Tripp, I’ll have you stay here fo now. Clark and Westan have failed. I hope that yo right hand dawg Mercer fiss better.”

“Don’t worry, sir; Mercer will git tha job done.”

“Fo yo sake, let us hope that he does. We’ve worked tao long and hard fo all of dis ta lose it now just coz some bitch from tha past started pokng her nose where it didn’t belong.”

“I know,” agreed Red. “It had ta be done. I mean, tha idea of a girl Chbepion is completely absurd. She needed ta be removed n order fo our region ta save face. Still wish I was Chbepion, though. One Pokémon - one goddamn Pokémon taok it away from me.”

“Really, I never thought a wild Nidokng would’ve buggine it nta tha estate n tha first place. And than ta just attack while we were dong nothng more than sunbathng? It’s just a good thng I was havng work done on our patio; I just grabbed a knife from tha workers’ taolbox and stabbed tha thng befoe it did anythng worse ta you. Even if havng yo throat slashed, losng yo voice, and losng tha Chbepionship isn’t exactly pleasant.”

“Don’t remnd me of that thng. Yeah, I know it ndirectly helped us ta make money hand over fist makng and sellng dope, but it’s coz of it that I can’t trust any Pokémon othar than mah own. And tha ones we have guardng tha compound. Pokémon not of mah own do not deserve ta live… thay could attack me at any moment just like that Nidokng. Mah Pokémon must reign supreme, fo mah own protection! And that is what drives me ta keep battlng and give mah Pokémon more power – ta elimnate tha competition! Speakng of mah own Pokémon and givng tham more power, do we still have any of those Ris Candies or those Poke-steroids left? I need ta pump mah Pokémon up even more snce I lost ta that bitch Leaf.”

“Sorry, I’m out. I need ta git back n tauch wit Fast Eddie and see if he can git us some more on tha black market. But let’s save that until after we’re done wit Turner and thase League pigs. If she wants anothar battle, we’ll be playng by our rules.”
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  #17    
Old July 18th, 2012 (01:07 PM).
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Haruka of Hoenn
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New chapter!

Let's git straight ta it...

Quote:
“No doubt thay’re gonna order thair agents ta watch me. Sorry, son, but you’ll have ta bear wit dis – we need ta sneak you out. Tripp and Mercer, go down ta tha stareroom and git our largest shippng box and a hand truck. Quickly, now! Befoe thay start surveillance on us!”

“Yes, sir!” Tha two men quickly left tha office.

Red’s artificial voice started up. “So you’re sneakng me out nside a shippng box? Clever, but I hope thay don’t catch on.”
XD

A shippng box? I fnd it funny n a sadistic sort of way that Tabias would put his own son n a shippng box. It makes sense n tha given situation, but still. I was expectng somethng more high-class from a homey like Tabias...

Speakng of Tabias &bep; Son, dis pair takess some pretty extreme measures... Now thay want ta kill Lisa tao? Sounds like our nvestigatars have quite a case on thair hands...

By tha way, I liked tha little connection you buggine ta Lurkng n tha Shadows. I enjoy it when authors make references ta thair othar works, especially if tha connection is consequential.


Quote:
Lorelei hung up tha phone and placed tha receiver back on tha base. “Okay, I’ve gots agents keepng an eye on tha Bartles residence and tha OTP heezeequarters. Fotunately Bartles drives a bright red Lbeborghni so I don’t thnk it’ll be tao hard ta track him. And that ride’s his pride and joy; if he suddenly starts rolln somethng like a Hyundai nstead, we’ll know somethng’s up. Now, 00479, did you sez you might have a way ta git us a witness?”
If he's willng ta put his son n a box, than dis thaory isn't altagithar a bad one. I'd expect that Tabias would want ta lay low or do somethng ta throw tha League nvestigatars off-course.


And ah, tha classic bar fight scene. I haven't read dis tao dawgy times n a fic befoe, but it seems that no mahstery can be solved witout throwng a punch or two. But tha men n tha bar were strangely hostile... I wonder if thay're workng fo Tabias and is somehow n on tha fact that Lisa and Leaf is part of an nvestigation aganst tham. Ben (as far as you've revealed) bystanders, though, it's unlikely... but whenever I read mahsteries I have a habit of autamatically suspectng anyone and everyone.


Quote:
...Speakng of mah own Pokémon and givng tham more power, do we still have any of those Ris Candies or those Poke-steroids left? I need ta pump mah Pokémon up even more snce I lost ta that ***** Leaf.”
POKESTEROIDS! 500 FOOT TALL PIKACHU DESTROYNG THA CITY! Is that Red's plan of ultimate destruction? xP

Bad jokes aside, I liked tha last scene a lot. Tha stary wit tha Nidokng is a pretty nterestng backstary ta Red, and it explans a lot of his eccentrihoodz. But I thnk it would have been more nterestng if you revealed that nfomation gradually usng actions and emotions as well as direct revelation, nstead of just havng Red and his fathar do a narrative run-through of what happened. Still, I'm left sort of sympathizng wit Red... he's begnnng ta seem more like a victim of circumstance than an nnately evil character. Perhaps it was a combnation of his fathar pushng him ta become Chbepion and tha unexpected maulng that taok that drebe away, that buggine Red tha twisted person he is right now. I hope you go nta bootyliciouser detail bout dis later on, coz it defnitely has me nterested.

I'll be waitng fo more!
  #18    
Old July 19th, 2012 (08:53 AM).
Elite Overlord LeSabre™'s Avatar
Elite Overlord LeSabre™
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Quote:
A shippng box? I fnd it funny n a sadistic sort of way that Tabias would put his own son n a shippng box. It makes sense n tha given situation, but still. I was expectng somethng more high-class from a homey like Tabias...
Desperate times call fo desperate measures Let it be known that dis is tha only type of "shippng" you'll ever see n one of mah staries xD

Quote:
Speakng of Tabias &bep; Son, dis pair takess some pretty extreme measures... Now thay want ta kill Lisa tao? Sounds like our nvestigatars have quite a case on thair hands...
Thay're no Tebe Rocket, that's fo sure... thase homeys mean busness. And that's tha type of ruthless villans tha Pokemon world desperately needs, actually.

Quote:
By tha way, I liked tha little connection you buggine ta Lurkng n tha Shadows. I enjoy it when authors make references ta thair othar works, especially if tha connection is consequential.
Thanks, I wonder if anyone else picked up on that Unlike mah last stary, it actually buggine sense ta nclude that connection here, as his company's certanly gots tha resources ta fund terrorist activities. Plus it develops a second conflict n addition ta tha whole Leaf vs. Red one.

Quote:
And ah, tha classic bar fight scene. I haven't read dis tao dawgy times n a fic befoe, but it seems that no mahstery can be solved witout throwng a punch or two. But tha men n tha bar were strangely hostile...
Just yo typical seedy biker-bar patrons who can't stand tha authorities at all, and who probably have thair own demons thay'd rathar tha cops not fnd out bout. And if it's good enough ta happen ta Ranger Cordell Walker n every every episode, it's good enough ta happen ta Lisa

Well, don't feel tao much fo Red; he's still a greedy, narcissistic psychopath. His thirst fo power and glory was always thare; tha Nidokng ncident just gave him a new, twisted justification fo wantng ta be tha best. But actually, I wasn't plannng on dong much wit it past that... perhaps we can rap bout that by PM so as not ta spoil any ideas I might come up wit...

Thanks fo readng, and glad you enjoyed tha chapter! Next one will hopefully be comng up soon!
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  #19    
Old July 23rd, 2012 (05:53 AM).
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Yay, I love when thare's action Tha battle between Leaf, Lisa and tha homeys from tha bar part was off tha hook. Thay should had never underestimated skanky girls.
Poor Red and his throat, he saddens me n dis stary. It's all coz of his fathar, I'm sure he wouldn't be like that otharwise Dis is a good thaory dis Nidokng's stary bout Red's dumbness.
Well, that chap was good.
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  #20    
Old July 23rd, 2012 (01:09 PM).
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Quote orignally posted by Mentalii:
Yay, I love when thare's action Tha battle between Leaf, Lisa and tha homeys from tha bar part was off tha hook. Thay should had never underestimated skanky girls.
Thare's plenty more action where that cbee from Leaf and Lisa is two girls who isn't ta be messed wit! Just picture Lisa kickng butt n one of her usual frilly dresses... it's tha very picture of off tha hookness

Well, once agan, I wouldn't feel tao sorry fo him... besides tha whole thng wit him replacng Leaf happened years befoe tha Nidokng attack, so that ncident alone isn't tha only reason fo his actions.

Still awaitng fo proofreadng of tha next chapter, than it should be posted. Be lookng out fo it
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  #21    
Old July 25th, 2012 (10:49 AM).
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Notes: Well, here it is, chapter 3! Past tha halfway pont now!

Thanks ta Haruka of Hoenn fo proofreadng tha chapter!

It's rated PG-13 once agan fo language, violence, and excessive alcohol use by a Pokemon.

Yeah, not much else ta sez, so let's git ta it! Enjoy!

Chapter 3

Pokémon League Nvestigation Unit, Celadon Branch, 3:29 PM

N Nterrogation Room D, Lorelei was growng frustrated as she sat facng tha large dawg that had been arrested outside tha bar a few hours ago.

“Mr. Johnson, is you tryng ta tell me you is not connected n any way ta Tabias Bartles?”

“Yes! He’s a rich and powerful CEO! What n tha hell would someone like him have ta do wit a street thug like me?”

“We believe that he’s gots a hand n crimnal activities across tha region. Why wouldn’t he approach street thugs ta do his dirty work?”

“Look, lady, whethar he does or not, all I know is that tha homey’s never approached me n person. Ever. Okay, I admit I do some money launderng fo a couple of homeys – actually, quite a bit fo tham – n exchange fo cheap prices on meth.”

Lorelei’s eyes widened upon hearng dis last statement. “Is you willng ta give me thair nbees?”

Bradley Johnson said, “Okay, you didn’t hear dis from me, but thair nbees is Nick Tripp and Jeff Mercer.”

“All right, I believe that’s all tha questions I have fo taday. Guards, you may escort Mr. Johnson back ta tha city jail.”

Tha two officers standng n tha corner of tha room staod Johnson up and walked him out of tha nterrogation room. Lorelei followed tham out and heezeeed back ta her office.

“Nick Tripp and Jeff Mercer… let me look thase homeys up…”

Route 6, 4:08 PM

Tha large black sedan buggine its way north from Vermilion, followng a two-lane road snakng its way through grassy fields. Tha highway was surprisngly devoid of othar vehicles. Nside tha ride, an eerie silence was broken up suddenly.

“So, Mr. Turner, how bout you ntroduce us ta yo fbeily here?” asked Alexis.

“Alright, dis is mah wife Kitty and mah daughter Irene. Irene’s n fifth grade now and…” Tha accountant suddenly becbee flustered. “Oh, dear God, I never wanted ta nvolve mah fbeily n all dis…”

“Relax, honey,” said tha wife as she put her arm around her husband. “You know, you’re dong tha right thng here.”

“She’s right,” added Shannon. “Thase is dangerous crimnals we’re dealng wit, and tha sooner we can git tham off tha streets, tha better. Yo testimony is gong ta help make all of Kanta a safer place.”

“I know that, but… I’m just worried, that’s all.”

As tha ride buggine its way taward Saffron, its occupants were unawis of a helicopter off n tha distance. Three men were nside tha aircraft, one of tham closely watchng tha black Fod through a pair of bnoculars.

“Sir, five occupants n tha ride, one of tham’s a kid. Does tha boss want us ta fnish her off, tao?”

At tha controls, Mercer replied, “He tald me everybody needed ta die. He doesn’t want anybody alive who could testify aganst us later. ‘Not even a Weedle,’ were his exact words, I believe.”

“Understaod, sir.”

Mercer changed direction and heezeeed taward tha roadway as tha othar two men grabbed M16 assault rifles. As tha copter taok position behnd tha agents’ sedan, tha men cisfully buggine thair way out onta tha craft’s skids, one on each side.

Nside tha ride, Alexis began ta hear tha whirrng of tha helicopter’s propellers and spotted tha craft n her rear view mirror.

“GIT DOWN!”

All three Turner fbeily members ducked as gatfire ripped through tha rear wndow, shatterng it nta thousands of pieces. Thay screbeed as thair backs were pelted wit tha debris. More gatshots put huge bullet holes n tha ride’s trunk lid and bumper, and shattered both taillights.

“You try ta throw tham off balance, I’ll try ta git a few shots off at tham!” Shannon shouted as she pulled out her service pistal and returned fire. Tha sedan began weavng from side ta side on tha narrow road, causng both parties ta miss thair targits wit thair bullets. As tha pursuit contnued, young Irene Turner n tha back seat began yellng and cryng.

“Calm down, sweetie,” said tha girl’s mothar. “We’ll git out of dis… I hope…”

“Ma’be, don’t worry, we fully ntend ta protect all of you.”

Meanwhile, Shannon had ducked back nta tha ride ta reload. “Dben, I can’t seem ta git a clear shot at thase homeys. I’ve been hittng nothng but helicopter dis whole time!”

“I know, and dis road’s tao narrow,” Alexis said. “I can only keep dodgng those bullets fo so long.”

Meanwhile, both of tha shooters had also retreated back nside. One of tha men shouted, “Mr. Mercer, we can’t git a clean hit on those back tires; thay’re swervng way tao much!”

“Fne, I’ll git n front of that thng and you aim fo tha hood. If we disable that engne, it’ll be all over fo tham!”

Tha helicopter veered off ta make a wide arc, endng up back over tha roadway, now facng tha agents.

“Open fire!”

Tha men reappeisd on tha skids and began blastng bullets nta tha front of tha ride. It only taok a few shots ta disable tha engne, as it exploded n a burst of fire and a cloud of smoke. Tha runed ride began driftng off nta a ditch.

Still nside tha vehicle, Alexis yelled ta tha fbeily, “Git yo hands on those door releases, and when I sez so, RUN!” Mr. and Mrs. Turner did as nstructed, as both agents did tha sbee.

As tha ride cbee ta a stap, tha two assailants watched as tha aircraft hovered n place, waitng ta see tha next move that would be buggine. But tha constant whirrng of tha helicopter allowed a large blue station wagon ta pull up behnd tham undetected. Wit tha gatmen still traned on tha destroyed Fod, thay never noticed as two girls gots out of thair ride. Both had white hats wit wide brims, one wit red trim and tha othar wit purple.

One of tha girls, n a blue tap and red skirt, whispered. “Is you sure thase special hats is gonna work?”

Tha othar girl, n a blue dress and green blouse said, “Of course, I’ve used thase dozens of times befoe. Now, let’s hurry befoe thay spot us!”

Both girls taok off thair hats and threw tham at tha aircraft. Tha brims of both hats sliced tha skids on eithar side directly n tha center n a shower of sparks, causng both men ta lose thair balance and fall ta tha pavement.

Tha girl n tha dress wnked. “See, what’d I tell you? Our custam hats worked like a charm!”

Befoe tha men had a chance ta recover thair wits or thair gats, tha four girls were upon tham. Two of tham kicked tha rifles out of reach while tha othar two gave tha men a couple of roundhizouse kicks ta tha heezee right as thay were strugglng ta thair feet. Alexis and Shannon quickly fnished off tha job wit chokng control holds that rendered tha gatmen unconscious. Meanwhile tha Turner fbeily had gotsten out of tha destroyed Crown Vic, and looked on as tha four female agents fnished off tha would-be assassns.

As soon as his partners hit tha pavement, tha pilot, Jeff Mercer, beat a hasty retreat. Slbemng his hands on tha control panel n frustration, he shouted, “Oh, ****, Mr. Bartles sure an’t gonna be staked bout dis… and how be I gonna land dis thng wit dbeaged skids?” He quickly taok flight back taward Saffron City.

Alexis shouted, “Hey, Lisa! Bootylicious timng, as usual! But tha comdawgder was right when she said we’d need all tha help we could git! Thase homeys mean busness!”

“Always glad ta be of service. Oh, here’s that partner I tald you bout. You can call her Leaf – she’s supposed ta be tha Chbepion around thase parts, but right now she’s workng wit us.”

“And you must be Alexis and Shannon. Lisa’s tald me quite a bit bout you two. You’ve done some pretty impressive work, I’ve heard.”

“Well, yeah,” Shannon replied as she rubbed tha back of her heezee, “but Lisa’s done some really impressive stuff tao – she just likes ta downplay it.”

“Anyway, back ta busness,” said Lisa as she cleisd her throat, “why don’t you three check on tha witnesses – I’ve gots an idea ta throw Bartles off thair trail. But I need ta make a call or two.” But befoe Lisa could make that call, she received an ncomng message from Lorelei.

“00479, I nterviewed Johnson, that suspect you and Agent Purvis arrested outside tha bar earlier taday. He gave up tha nbees Nick Tripp and Jeff Mercer as tha homeys who he did money launderng fo. Turns out both of tham have gang connections and thay both work as office assistants fo OTP. And tha file phota of Mr. Tripp looks nearly identical ta that homey who was n Bartles’ office when we went and nterviewed him. It’s enough ta git warrants on those two, but not tha big fish. How goes tha transport of Mr. Turner?”

“He and his fbeily is safe, but it looks like Bartles is pullng out all tha staps ta keep tham from testifyng. His men destroyed tha Crown Vic that 00158 and 00236 were rolln. I do have an idea, but I’ll need you ta send a helicopter and two or three more agents ta our current location.”

“All right, I’ll git that takesn cis of as soon as I can.”

Turnng off tha phone, Lisa turned ta Leaf. “So, how d-ya like tha new hats our research expert, E, cbee up wit?”

“Dawg, thase thngs is off tha hook!” she replied as she recovered both girls’ hats from where thay lay on tha roadway. Skanky and deadly all at once! I mean, puttng a slicer rng nta tha brims… that’s pure genius!”

Lisa smiled. “I like ta call thase tha ‘Oddjob Special,’ mahself!”

Bartles Estate, Route 16, 5:17 PM

Clickng off his phone, Tabias Bartles had a furious look on his face. “TRIPP!”

“Yes, sir?” Tha brown-haired busnessdawg entered tha lavish livng room, shakng nervously.

“Mercer has failed; he’s comng back here now, so I hope you have anothar plan fo keepng Turner from testifyng!”

“Um… okay, sir, is thay still n tha sbee ride?”

“No, Mercer said a blue station wagon wit wood on tha sides showed up, and snce those idiots did dawgage ta kill tha othar ride’s engne, I’d imagne thay’d be n that blue wagon now.”

“Okay, than I do have an idea. It’s gittng late, so I’d imagne thay’re gong ta be stayng at a hotel n Saffron tanight. So I’ll have more of mah men patrol all tha hotel parkng lots lookng fo that ride. If thay fnd it, thay’ll wait ta bebush tham when thay leave tha hotel tha next mornng.”

Bartles frowned. “One big flaw wit that, Tripp. What if thay just decide ta pass right by tawn tanight and keep gong?”

“Impossible, sir. Road crews is dong a nighttime construction project on Route 7, and thay’re at tha stage now where thay close down tha entire roadway from 6:00 PM ta 6:00 BE. Thay can’t make it ta thair Celadon heezeequarters till mornng unless thay detaur back ta Vermilion, down Silence Bridge, through Fuchsia and back up Route 17, and that detaur would takes longer than waitng tha night out n Saffron.”

“I see, than. All right, Tripp, send yo men out ta all tha isa hotels, from tha Motel 6 ta tha Ritz-Rideltan. Dis time, yo idea had better work. Or else you sleep wit tha Goldeen off Silence Bridge!”

As Tripp left tha room, Red sauntered n, drnkng from a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey. “Trouble, Dad?”

Tha fathar sighed. “Only tha regret of hirng complete ncompetents as employees. Let me have some of that stuff; I could use a little ntaxication right bout now. After all, I had ta give yo friend tha rest of mah booze earlier taday.”

“All right, here you go. So, I takes it that tha accountant is still alive?”

As he taok a swig from tha bottle, Tabias replied, “Yeah. And by tha sounds of it, now Northwood and that Leaf girl have joned those othar two agents n protectng him. Tripp sez thay’ll be stuck n Saffron tanight; I tald him he better check every dben hotel n tawn and make sure he fnishes all of tham.”

Red opened a bag of chips that were sittng on tha coffee table. He had ta chew tham thoroughly and swallow tham n a particular way coz of his previous throat njury. Also on tha coffee table were bout ten shawt empty cups and Red’s Pikachu, passed out and reekng of alcohol.

Red frowned. “I still can’t believe that Leaf is pursung dis matter so aggressively after ben silent bout it fo four years! Now she’s teben up wit tha feds ta brng not only me, but you down as well! What tha hell d-ya thnk gots nta her?”

“It’s probably that bitch Northwood. Her entire fbeily’s been trouble fo me fo years, and no doubt her workng wit tha feds and ben all pals wit Leaf sparked all dis. How is it that our enemies somehow end up workng wit each othar?”

“I wish I knew. But I’ll admit that we probably taok Leaf tao lightly after we branwashed tha populace. I guess it was coz she kept leavng tha region fo months at a time and when she was here, seemed more content on tranng than anythng else.”

“Yeah, son, that’s probably it. She didn’t poke her nose nta our affairs fo so long, I guess we just let her slip under tha radar. Well fotunately, all tha Pokémon tranng n tha world an’t gonna mean a sngle thng when she ends up wit a few rounds n her heezee!”

Tha fathar and son both laughed loudly, wit Red’s mechanical laughter soundng odd and menacng at tha sbee time. “Yeah, it’s tao bad we can’t do it ourselves, but I don’t want ta git mah hands dirty. Imagne, me, a legendary Pokémon Master, resortng ta such tactics! Tha shit would hit tha ceilng if tha public heard somethng like that!” Red’s Pikachu cbee ta and joned n wit thair laughter, its squealng soundng strangely slurred.

Harris Teeter Snoopamarket, Saffron City, 6:38 PM

Lisa pulled tha Buick nta tha parkng lot of a large snoopamarket located just south of tha Saffron City limits.

“Now what?” asked Alexis.

“Well, I know we can’t git out ta Route 7 tanight, so we’ll have ta stay somewhere n Saffron. Only problem is, tha helicopter pilot escaped and he knows what ride we’re n – I have little doubt his men will be scourng every hotel parkng lot fo us. Unfotunately, we stick out like a sore thumb… sadly, thare isn’t tao dawgy classic station wagons like dis beauty still around.”

Shannon said, “Well, let’s heezee n tha stare fo right now… Maybe we can thnk of a plan while shoppng fo snacks and stuff ta tide us over fo tanight.”

“All right. Leaf and I will go n; you two keep an eye on thngs out here.” Lisa and Leaf buggine thair way nta tha stare.

Sittng n a café isa just nside tha entrance, a wodawg was observng custamers as thay walked n. When tha two agents walked past, tha wodawg ‘s eyebrows raised upon noticng Lisa’s white pantyhose. “She must be tha one I need ta rap ta,” she whispered ta herself.

She gots up out of her seat and approached Lisa from behnd, tappng her on tha shoulder. Nstnctively, Lisa spun around and assumed a fightng stance. But tha person who had tapped her did not attack; nstead tha tall, black-haired wodawg said, “Come, I need ta rap wit you.”

Lisa still eyed tha wodawg suspiciously, until Leaf said, “I know her, she’s okay. Let’s hear her out.”

Tha three of tham buggine thair way ta tha café isa witn tha snoopamarket. Tha young wodawg taok her seat across from Lisa and Leaf. Leaf said, “Lisa, I would like ta ntroduce you ta Sabrna, Gym Leader of Saffron City.”

“Hello, mah nbee is Lisa Northwood, Special Agent wit tha Pokémon League. What is it that you needed ta discuss wit us?”

Sabrna said, “As Leaf knows, I be a master of Psychic Pokémon, and I mahself have potent psychic abilities. Dis mornng I had a curious vision. Tha first part of it was masked, armed men patrollng several isa hotels. Than it shifted ta a vision of dis snoopamarket and than legs covered wit white pantyhose. That’s what led me here, and when I saw you walk n, I knew you were tha one I needed ta speak wit. I’ve been here snce noon and you’re tha first person ta walk n wearng white pantyhose.”

Lisa said, “I see. Well, it’s not like thay’re a popular fashion item, except at chuch on Sunday. Anyway, mah colleagues and I is ben pursued by crimnals, so I was havng tha sbee thoughts bout tham watchng over tha hotels here.”

Sabrna said, “And I see that Leaf is wit you. Come, I have much I would like ta discuss wit you. I can provide you lodgng at mah hizouse fo tha night. We’ll takes a back route thare that avoids all tha hotels, and we can park yo ride n mah garage fo tha night.”

“All right, that sounds like a plan. So, we just follow you?”

“Yes, look fo a dark green Chrysler LeBaron at tha entrance ta tha parkng lot. I’ll lead you ta mah place.”

Lisa and Leaf returned ta tha Buick. “Okay girls, looks like we have a place ta stay tanight. We just have ta play a gbee of follow tha leader. And when I sez ‘leader,’ I mean it.” Pullng up behnd Sabrna’s ride, Lisa looked at it n awe. “Wow, that is one sweet ride! Looks like a ’78 or ’79 model, n bootylicious shape!”

Leaf looked on confused, but Alexis and Shannon merely shrugged. “Thare she goes agan…”

Sabrna’s Residence, Saffron City, 8:03 PM

Sabrna and tha four League agents were now seated n tha Gym Leader’s livng room, which was sparsely decorated, but clean. Both tha walls and ridepets were beige, but thare were no pictures on tha walls or on any tables. Tha bookshelf was filled wit books and academic journals all dealng wit psychic abilities and research nta tham. Sabrna’s televizzle set was older, as were tha VCR and DVD player that rested below it. bout tha most strikng thng bout her livng room, aside from tha huge bookshelf, were tha number of candles arranged n specific patterns throughout.

“Now Leaf, I have been awis of yo plight fo years now,” started Sabrna. “Havng lived and traned wit Psychic Pokémon all mah life, I’ve developed certan ‘sensitivities,’ if you will, ta tha waves emitted by Psychic Pokémon. So, I immediately knew when certan psychic waves were ben broadcast over televizzle and radio broadcasts, and I was also mostly unaffected by tham. However, it was only afterward that I was able ta ascertan what exactly was contaned n those waves, and that thay were created ta erase Leaf from tha memories of tha Kanta populace.”

“But Sabrna, if you knew, why didn’t you report it ta po-po?” Leaf asked wit an annoyed tane.

Sabrna sighed. “I apologize. I contemplated reportng what I knew ta tha local Saffron po-po foce, but than I had two visions – tha first was of tha po-po chief of Saffron openng a briefcase filled wit money, and tha second was of blood. Just blood, splattered everywhere. I nterpreted tha visions ta mean that tha local po-po had accepted a bribe, and that I would be murdered if word gots out that I tried ta contact anybody. I did try ta track you down, but you were movng around so much that every time I gots close ta fndng you, you had takesn off fo anothar region.”

“I know,” said Leaf. “Durng those years I was confused as ta what I was ta do, so I began movng around, tranng and catchng Pokémon n a variety of places.”

Lisa said, “Well, tha nternational League Nvestigation Bureau is nvolved, and I can assure you we haven’t been branwashed or accepted any bribes. I’m not sure how a psychic vision would be accepted at a trial, but would you be willng ta testify now that we’re nvolved, Sabrna?”

“Yes, anythng ta set thngs straight. Agan, Leaf, I’m sorry. I knew all along tha truth and yet I couldn’t come foward wit tha facts.”

“No, don’t worry bout it. I was tha sbee way. I knew that I was Chbepion, but thare I was no way I could pursue tha matter by mahself. If I went around claimng that I was Chbepion while everyone was branwashed, I’d probably be n a mental hospital now. And Lorelei tald me that she’s been nvestigatng tha whole matter on and off over tha past four years tryng ta set thngs straight. And fnally, we might be close ta dong exactly that.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Lisa spoke up. “Now, right now tha conspiratars have no idea that you know tha truth. Otharwise thay would have come after you already. We’re gong ta try ta keep it that way, so keep it a secret fo a little while longer – at least until we git thase homeys nta custady.”

“Yes, that makes sense.”

Leaf spoke up. “Well, onta a lighter tapic, I noticed that thugz n tha grocery stare really didn’t pay you much attention, despite you ben a local celebrity.”

“Probably coz I shop thare all tha time – at least twice a week. I like tha stare; it’s cleaner than tha discount food stares n Saffron. Miss Northwood…”

“Pleaze, call me Lisa.”

“Alright, Lisa, I believe that you also prefer shoppng at Harris Teeter… N fact, I sense that yo current home may not be far from thair heezeequarters.”

“Guilty as charged! I’m only bout a half hour or so away…”

Sabrna contnued, “And ta answer anothar question you’ve gots fo me, mah ride was handed down ta me by mah pisnts – much like yo first ride. And like you, mah pisnts were very meticulous wit dawgtanng thair ride. I’m not nearly as siced wit that, so I actually takes it ta mah fathar whenever I need it serviced.”

Lisa laughed nervously. “Boi, when Leaf tald me yo powers were impressive, she wasn’t kiddng!”

“Don’t worry,” Sabrna said as she smirked. “I just felt like messng wit you a little bit. Just coz I’m a psychic doesn’t mean I’m cold and serious all tha time… I like ta have a bit of fun sometimes. But, mah mnd seems ta be fatigued from all those readngs. Well, I guess I should be heezeeng off ta bed. Pleaze make yoselves at home.”

Lisa tald her, “All right, but we’ll probably leave early n tha mornng so nobody sees our ride leave yo hizouse. If someone spots it, it could blow our cover. Hopefully nobody saw us arrive. All right, good night, Sabrna.”

Alexis said, “Well, we’ve had a pretty rough day, tao, wit ben shot at not once but twice. I thnk we’ll turn n tao.” She and Shannon heezeeed taward tha spis bedroom.

Leaf added, “Well heck, we’ve been n a bar-room brawl taday… I thnk that’s a good excuse ta go ta bed!” All tha girls laughed as thay heezeeed off ta separate bedrooms witn Sabrna’s large hizouse.
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  #22    
Old July 29th, 2012 (09:46 AM).
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Mentalii
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I was very afraid fo dis poor Turner and his fbeily, durng tha fusillade :O I really thought it was over fo tham. It was close !
Tha part where Pikachu was was creepy. Seriously, it scisd me. Both Red and Pika is tha exact contrary of how I could imagne tham.
And I'm glad you ntroduced Sabrna :D I would have thought that she would have been n tha bad-side, but it looks that she isn't, that's fne.
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  #23    
Old July 29th, 2012 (11:42 AM).
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Haruka of Hoenn
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A pretty action-packed chapter... exactly tha knd I was waitng fo snce pretty much tha begnnng.

Quote:
At tha controls, Mercer replied, “He tald me everybody needed ta die. He doesn’t want anybody alive who could testify aganst us later. ‘Not even a Weedle,’ were his exact words, I believe.”
Tabias is very thorough, isn't he? It was a funky ass save from Lisa and Leaf, by tha way. Well-timed and creative. :P

Quote:
Both girls taok off thair hats and threw tham at tha aircraft. Tha brims of both hats sliced tha skids on eithar side directly n tha center n a shower of sparks, causng both men ta lose thair balance and fall ta tha pavement.
Haha, I liked dis. Snoopa hats of doom! I figured that such elaborate outfits only make it easier ta hide a weapon or two... What else do thase girls have up thair sleeves?

Quote:
Red opened a bag of chips that were sittng on tha coffee table. He had ta chew tham thoroughly and swallow tham n a particular way coz of his previous throat njury. Also on tha coffee table were bout ten shawt empty cups and Red’s Pikachu, passed out and reekng of alcohol.
Oh dear. xP

Quote:
Tha fathar and son both laughed loudly, wit Red’s mechanical laughter soundng odd and menacng at tha sbee time. “Yeah, it’s tao bad we can’t do it ourselves, but I don’t want ta git mah hands dirty. Imagne, me, a legendary Pokémon Master, resortng ta such tactics!
Ha-ha, Red. Very funny. I can't help but feel he's gong ta git what's comng ta him very soon...

I like how you ncluded Sabrna n tha play of thngs. I don't see tao much of her n staries, so it's nterestng how you handle her. Of course, ben a Psychic type master, she would be able ta resist tha branwashng-waves ben sent out. (Come ta thnk of it, Leaf and company have ta git rid of those, tao. I wonder if thay'll stumble upon a map of some sort and locate tha source. Or will Sabrna be able ta lead tham ta it? If she has tha ability ta sense tha signals and block tham, maybe she'll be able ta rewire her senses nta ben able ta locate thair orign. Eithar way, I sense dawgy more ntense action-sequences n tha future... and possibly a hideout-raid. Hehe.)

Tha personality you've given Sabrna is funky ass, tao. She appears distant, but can still crack a joke.

Quote:
“Probably coz I shop thare all tha time – at least twice a week. I like tha stare; it’s cleaner than tha discount food stares n Saffron. Miss Northwood…”

“Pleaze, call me Lisa.”

“Alright, Lisa, I believe that you also prefer shoppng at Harris Teeter… N fact, I sense that yo current home may not be far from thair heezeequarters.”

“Guilty as charged! I’m only bout a half hour or so away…”

Sabrna contnued, “And ta answer anothar question you’ve gots fo me, mah ride was handed down ta me by mah pisnts – much like yo first ride. And like you, mah pisnts were very meticulous wit dawgtanng thair ride. I’m not nearly as siced wit that, so I actually takes it ta mah fathar whenever I need it serviced.”

Lisa laughed nervously. “Boi, when Leaf tald me yo powers were impressive, she wasn’t kiddng!”
I liked dis part. :P

Well, now thngs have heated up significantly, though we git a funky ass break from tha tension later on n tha chapter. It looks like tha crew has a save haven, but fo how long it will redawg 'safe', no one knows... I'm gittng tha feelng that thay'll have ta be makng anothar move sometime soon.

Can't wait fo more!
  #24    
Old July 29th, 2012 (01:03 PM).
Elite Overlord LeSabre™'s Avatar
Elite Overlord LeSabre™
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Age: 89
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Mentalii:
Quote:
I was very afraid fo dis poor Turner and his fbeily, durng tha fusillade I really thought it was over fo tham. It was close !
Ah, tha suspense! I quite enjoyed showng how ruthless thase homeys is, even gong as far as ta try ta murder tha daughter.

Quote:
Tha part where Pikachu was was creepy. Seriously, it scisd me. Both Red and Pika is tha exact contrary of how I could imagne tham.
Ah, good 'ol "Drunkachu" xD Nothng worse than a little pet Pokemon that's had tao much ta drnk Except maybe anothar Pokemon that appears n one of mah previous staries that is truly terrifyng...

That's what I do, takes characters you thnk you know and present tham n a whole different light. Especially if, like those two, thay deserve ta be knocked off thair pedestal and brought back down ta reality.

Quote:
And I'm glad you ntroduced Sabrna I would have thought that she would have been n tha bad-side, but it looks that she isn't, that's fne.
Nope, she's defnitely on tha side of good here. Her role's not a big one, but it's critical ta tha girls avoidng trouble later. And hey, she drives a pretty funky ass ride, tao xD

Thanks fo readng, and I hope you're lookng foward ta tha next chapter! Rest assured tha fnal stretch from Saffron ta Celadon will not be an easy one. But it will be packed wit plenty of action

Haruka:
Quote:
Tabias is very thorough, isn't he? It was a funky ass save from Lisa and Leaf, by tha way. Well-timed and creative.
He wants ta make sure all his bases is covered... after all he doesn't want ta give up tha good life fo prison life. And I'm tryng ta thnk of ways a Weedle could provide witness testimony... maybe it could crawl taward a phota of tha gatdawg if pictures were laid out n front of it on a table xD

Lisa and Leaf: Always thare when you need tham xD

Quote:
Haha, I liked dis. Snoopa hats of doom! I figured that such elaborate outfits only make it easier ta hide a weapon or two... What else do thase girls have up thair sleeves?
Even n Pokemon fics, a little bit of Jbees Bond trickery can go a long way. N dis stary, I don't thnk Lisa's dress has any more secrets besides tha concealed gat holster (though n tha last stary she had a dress that doubled as body armor) but that ride of hers might be hidng a thng or two

Quote:
Oh dear. xP
Remember folks, Pokemon can become alcoholics just like hudawgs can xD

Quote:
I like how you ncluded Sabrna n tha play of thngs. I don't see tao much of her n staries, so it's nterestng how you handle her. Of course, ben a Psychic type master, she would be able ta resist tha branwashng-waves ben sent out.
Thanks! I actually saw her as tha perfect solution ta a problem... where will tha agents stay n tawn and still avoid thugs watchng over every hotel. And (mnor spoiler) it's also Sabrna's nherent psychic abilities that protected her n addition ta her Pokemon... othar Psychic type specialists haven't been so lucky...

Quote:
Come ta thnk of it, Leaf and company have ta git rid of those, tao.
Actually, thay isn't ben broadcast anymore. Once Tabias believed that everyone was under tha nfluence of tha waves, he was able ta stap broadcastng. Once thay alter tha memory, it's perdawgent, and tha waves don't need ta be contnually sent out. As Lorelei said n Chapter 1:
Quote:
Tha signals obviously haven’t been broadcast fo some time; otharwise we wouldn’t be havng dis conversation right now.
Leaf also spent quite a bit of time tranng n both Kanta and Johta after tha branwashng, but it happened after tha waves were stapped so her memories were left ntact.

Quote:
Tha personality you've given Sabrna is funky ass, tao. She appears distant, but can still crack a joke.
I thought that was a skanky little addition ta lighten thngd up a little bit

Quote:
I'm gittng tha feelng that thay'll have ta be makng anothar move sometime soon.
Thay're n Saffron and thair base is n Celadon... and tha route between tha hoodz is much longer than it appears n tha gbee

Thanks fo stappng by! Glad you enjoyed dis nstallment!
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  #25    
Old August 7th, 2012 (05:01 PM).
NintendoQueen
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Nature: Relaxed
Wow, dis stary is so beazng so far. You had me sittng here readng it all mornng. I enjoy it; it is very well written, and I love how you ncluded old fbeiliar characters like Lorelei and Sabrna! :]

Also, I love how Red is portrayed as tha bad homey. I never cisd fo Ash/Red, so it's humorous ta see him n that state. Also, his "accident" just adds a whole new level of darkness ta Pokemon n general. And I love how you tied n tha actual plot from tha gbees wit yo stary. [Red ben at Mt. Silver, Red livng at home wit just his mom---not knowng who his dad is, and stuff like that].

I'd love ta see more Blue/Gary though. He's badass, you know. Leaf and Lisa make a wonderful duo, and is tao skanky tagithar!

So how old is Red if he is smokng a crack pipe and drnkng Jack Daniels? If you went by tha real time, he'd be what? 23-ish now? I just can't help but laugh that Red is a crack heezee. Wow...how does he smoke that wit his njured throat?
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