[Discussion] Growing up too fast

[gimmepie]

Is it possible to grow up too fast? Is it happening to children now or is just a misconception of lonely parents? Is it a physical thing or something brought on by society? Or could it be both?

There are a lot of different views on this subject and simply googling one view or the other can open you up to a variety of sources.

My own opinion
Yes. Yes they are, and in more ways then one. Children are not just behaving in ways that we would not expect from people in their age bracket but are even physically developing earlier and earlier.

On the side of behaviour this is largely to do with our society. We live in a world that idolises people who do nothing but get drunk, take drugs, flash their genitals to the camera and sleep around. The media makes these things a big deal and this has a negative affect on young people. I'm not saying that all tv should be censored or the internet shut down, on the contrary I don't see the point since they'll hear it/see it somewhere else if not on tv or the net. I personally believe that the fault lies with authority figures and parents who don't do enough to teach their children how to behave responsibly and look after themselves.

Physically I'm not sure really where blame should be put or even if it should be put anywhere. Personally I think that it is likely just a side-effect of the current "climate" of the world and because ready-or-not kids are engaging in various adult activities.

Long story short I want know why the ten to thirteen-year-olds I coach have phones, ipods and, laptops dress like hookers and act nearly as bad (It's not all of them but the majority). I want to know if you think a bigger effort needs to be put into counteracting all this or if those who share my view (and myself) are overreacting.

Sources

Spoiler:

http://kimberlysnyder.net/blog/2012/...ping-so-early/
http://www.breastcancerfund.org/asse...of-puberty.pdf
http://www.connecttristates.com/news...4#.UIYhm8XMjSg

[TRIFORCE89]

Originally Posted by gimmepie

On the side of behaviour this is largely to do with our society. We live in a world that idolises people who do nothing but get drunk, take drugs, flash their genitals to the camera and sleep around. The media makes these things a big deal and this has a negative affect on young people. I'm not saying that all tv should be censored or the internet shut down, on the contrary I don't see the point since they'll hear it/see it somewhere else if not on tv or the net. I personally believe that the fault lies with authority figures and parents who don't do enough to teach their children how to behave responsibly and look after themselves.

I agree that kids "grow up to fast" today, if you want to put it that way. I wouldn't, really. I don't see being immature to mean you're grown up, quite the opposite in fact. Regardless, I don't blame celebrities or the media. I blame those like their parents or teachers or anyone else who is supposed to be an actual role model. Too many of them now subscribe to cliches like "oh, they're just kids", "let them have a little fun", "they'll grow out of it", "its just a phase", "boys will be boys". All nonsense, all just ways burying their heads in the sand. Be a parent, not a friend. Learn the word "no" and get them to smarten up and actually grow up.

Originally Posted by gimmepie

Long story short I want know why the ten to thirteen-year-olds I coach have phones, ipods and, laptops dress like hookers and act nearly as bad (It's not all of them but the majority). I want to know if you think a bigger effort needs to be put into counteracting all this or if those who share my view (and myself) are overreacting.

I see no problem with teens or kids having phones, laptops, or iPods but I think its age and family dependent. Phones, once they're in high school for example. iPods are fine for little kids - put some kid sing a long music on their and some friendly apps and everything is okay.

[gimmepie]

Fair enough. I mean I really have no problem with that sort of thing either, but I don't feel they should be a social necessity the way they are at the moment.

You are definitely right about "growing up too fast" not being an accurate term but it's the best I could think of. I agree with you 100% that authority figures bury their heads rather than actually take action towards the problem.

[Scarf]

Originally Posted by gimmepie

I agree with you 100% that authority figures bury their heads rather than actually take action towards the problem.

What actions should authority figures take? Kids dress how they do because those are the clothes that are for sale in stores. Sure, there are still options, but when you're presented with clothing that is specifically targeted at these kids it makes it seem normal. And maybe it should be seen as normal. It's not hurting anyone how they dress, right?

With phones and technology that's just how things are these days. Lots of us had Gameboys/DS's/etc when we were 10 or around that age. Phones and ipods are a lot like that when you think about it. Yeah, they can access the internet, and that is a big difference, but the internet is here to stay and you can't just block kids from it. That's not really a good thing for authority figures to try. No, the best thing authority figures can do is accept what isn't harmful and teach kids how to be safe from facebook bullies and things like that.

[TRIFORCE89]

Originally Posted by Scarf

What actions should authority figures take? Kids dress how they do because those are the clothes that are for sale in stores. Sure, there are still options, but when you're presented with clothing that is specifically targeted at these kids it makes it seem normal. And maybe it should be seen as normal. It's not hurting anyone how they dress, right?

Not speaking for gimmepie, but since he was agreeing with me I feel like chiming in XD I wasn't talking about anything material necessarily. More like attitudes and maturity levels

Totally agree with you on the tech and gadgets though. I have absolutely no problems with it. Maybe just set up some rules or limits if that floats your bought. I had video games since I was a toddler. Technology exists, it only gets more advanced. To deny it is foolish

[gimmepie]

Originally Posted by Scarf

What actions should authority figures take? Kids dress how they do because those are the clothes that are for sale in stores. Sure, there are still options, but when you're presented with clothing that is specifically targeted at these kids it makes it seem normal. And maybe it should be seen as normal. It's not hurting anyone how they dress, right?

If parents/guardians didn't but inappropriate clothes and instil these attitudes in kids than the companies would stop producing them due to lack of demand. That's how business works, if nobody buys them then nobody sells them, but instead we have the attitude that if it is there and I see twenty-two year-old celebrities dressed that way then it must be appropriate for my eight-year-old.

As far as the technology goes there is a difference between harmless video games and enabling cyber-bullying and other dangers. I'm not saying we should censor the internet or something I'm saying that we as a society are not being responsible with technology by making it appear as a necessity. When things are viewed like that it opens up the door way to more rich/poor discrimination and clique segregation. With impressionable young people that is especially bad because they'll learn to accept it as he norm and they'll treat people disrespectfully their entire life.

[WaterIse]

Society's whack, man. I'm not gonna buy my kids that technology at that young age. Wait until they're at least 16 and start going out with friends.

[Minzy]

I wouldn't relate it to technology, as that's just one of the elements of our growing economy and society. Technological advancement has been apart of our world's history since the beginning - from sticks to stone, stone to iron and iron to cyborgs. Technology makes our world faster, easier, and sleeker, not to mention bigger. Of course, younger children being introduced to these types of things early could, in prospect, influence them, but in all actuality I doubt it advances them into teen/adult-hood earlier than normal.

Anyway, I don't believe kids are growing up 'too fast.' Quite the contrary, really. Even back in the early-to-mid 1900s, a lot of the United States' adults were farmers (generalizing to get my point across) or people that were proficient in outdoor work. Due to this, they taught their kids to be the same way, and so those generations were accustomed to the technology and tools that allowed their work to be easier, but through this process they also were 'growing up quickly' because at an early age they were learning to work for what they wanted themselves instead of letting someone get it/do it for them.

In all, my primary view on the subject is that if the kids can work for/get it themselves (make money/feed themselves) then they are already taking a very large step towards adult-hood.

tl;dr - kids are just the same as they were fifty years ago

[Plumpyfoof]

Joe Frost, Super Nanny will solve our problems.

But yeah I blame bad parenting for all the drop-kicks in the world. If they were taught the proper rules and consequences better as long children they wouldn't have the need to grow up and do all the things they believe adults do, like drinking and partying and all that.
Also I'd like to point out that children learn by example. So the media is shoving all this down their throats without realising it and no one is leading them in the right direction properly.

PS. @Minzy, it's getting ridiculous how many times I've tried to swat away your signature.

[Sydian]

Growing up too fast makes me think of girls my age on Facebook posting, "My baby turned 5 months old today! She's growing up too fast! :(" Honey, you're 20 with a 5 month old, how do you think YOUR momma feels?

Anyway, with all the technology today that we didn't have as kids and when it wasn't as accesible, it seems like kids are growing up too fast, but I don't think it's changed. I had an N64 when I was 7. So a kid gets an iPod when they're 7 now. Prices on the two are way different (depending on the iPod model) but hey, look at the economy. lol

If anything, teenagers are growing too fast. Teenage pregnancy and such contributes, I believe. I'm gonna have to come back to this later though. I'm in class and the typing sounds loud so...XD But yeah. I think it's mostly the teens of today, not so much the children that are growing too fast. The average American family is much different now as well, with more single-parent houses...just from local observation, of course. I don't speak for everywhere. I come from a single-parent house as well though, but don't feel that I've "grown up" too much, so eh. But there are other contributing factors. The economy is probably involved...okay bye I make no sense.

[gimmepie]

Sydian I probably should have pointed out that I still consider people in their early teens as "kids" just... bigger kids, so your observations are perfectly valid. I see no problem with video games when I refer to technology I'm referring to young kids using social media. I have no idea how the economy would have anything to do with it though o.O

[Sydian]

Well, you have to consider another decade. I grew up in the 90's, so I'll use that. There wasn't really any social media, very little really. And computers weren't like they were today because they weren't in every home. Nowadays, there's always at least one computer or laptop in a home. So social media is an accepted norm in today's society. I don't think children should have a Facebook though really, however if they're adding only family and school friends, I see no problem with it. And not posting nasty pictures, though that's mainly with being a teenager.

I was in sociology when I made my first post, and we were talking about economy, so it was on my mind haha. v_v The economy comes in with the single-parent home and how some children are raised. When a woman is left with children and it making the income, it's going to likely be less money than a man would make, and considering it's just one parent, it's already lower than the two-parent family. So the economic situation for the family (this applies to more than the single-parent home though) can also influence how a child is raised and how fast they "grow up."

For example, my boyfriend grew up in a two-parent home, but they're tight on money. His parents are both very hard workers and of course taught that to him. Because he was working most of his life, I feel like he's more grown up than me. He learned to earn things by doing, and because of that, he's much more mature and very responsible. Much more grown up than the average 22 year old. Obviously the economy hasn't treated them well, but he still earns all his money. He doesn't have a stable job (he worked during the summer then came back to town for school) and doesn't ask his parents for money.

Basically, there are a lot of things that factor into how a child can grow up too fast. Economy, technology, how they're raised, etc. It's not just one thing that's making it seem like kids are growing too fast. I hope this all makes sense, haha.

[Ice Car]

Is there anything that can "shatter a child's innocence" or cause a sudden spike in their maturity? Yes. Usually traumatizing events are the cause of this, parents divorcing, parents killed maybe, etc. Usually the result of neglect by parents or lack of any parent figures in their life, forcing the child to grow up and fend for themselves of just wait around and die.

[zephyr6257]

I think they just seem older.

Children can't grow faster, it's impossible :<!

Kids, with the freedom of the internet and television, can find out a whole bunch of things by themselves. It doesn't necessarily make them more mature, but can make them seem older.

Kids now a days have girlfriends and boyfriends by the time they hit thirteen, or earlier, (though imo that isn't a sign of maturity, but instead a sign of immaturity, but nobody believes this theory of mine so anyways :<), which also make them seem older.

Kids also do a lot of things now, heck, some kids are into business.

I think children just have a whole bunch of new freedoms now a days, which make them seem older.

[Guillermo]

How fast a child grows up is, not entirely but mostly, up to their parents. A mother or father has absolutely no say in what their child does outside of home. They can't watch them 24/7, it's just not possible. Kid's look to their parents for guidance sure, but the other kids they hang out with are ultimately going to decide what they get up to. While there are a lot of kids in today's society that go out and drink, do drugs and have underage sex, it's not as if that didn't happen 40 years ago because it did, just on a lesser scale.

As for technology, I really don't see how having an iPod at 7 years old means they're growing up too fast. Like Syd said, when I was a little kid I had a N64 and a PS1, it was still technology. Parents can limit what kids can get up to on their phones and such. Shouldn't deny kids the technology we have in today's world because they're young, that's crap. Kids are better with technology than most adults anyway.

[Patchisou Yutohru]

How fast a child grows up entirely depends on the responsibilities given to them, which they may pick up on their own because they want them or because they have no other choice because they find that their parents don't have the capabilities to be responsible for whatever it is that they instill onto themselves. A child who feels they need to cook and clean and take care of their younger siblings because their parents work to provide a living for them (not because of neglecting them) is going to grow up and lose their childhood faster and prematurely than someone who has the responsibilities of a child and not of an adult.

[Sandshrew4]

Well im technically 14 years old so take that into account when reading this. At my old school, when i was in 8th grade, the 7th graders were dating and flirting and all that stuff. There were maybe 3 kids in our 10 kid graduating class that were into that stuff. This does not entirely pertain to wat i am saying, it is just to give you an idea of who is saying this. After school, i would go play four square with a bunch of third graders. the reason being that most of my class was to "mature" or into dating and stuff. So, like i was saying, i would go and play with them and my best friend would sometimes join me. Now i have never uttered a "swear word" in my life. SO i'd go and play with these kids and they would be swearing and talking about stuff that even we 8th graders didnt talk about. I was kinda disturbed to see what little kids these days talked about. So my defenition of "growing up to fast" would be little kids cursing and talking about stuff that is generally PG-13. So to sum up my super long boring block of text, yes, kids these days are growing up much to fast (except for me :D)

[gimmepie]

Sandshrew, it's nice to hear about a middle schooler who still wants to have a childhood.

What you said sums up what I see so often perfectly. I work with kids once a week at the moment and I'm seeing children as young as 8 or 9 acting like they are 14-15 or older. It makes me angry at the parents for allowing it to happen since I personally view childhood as a time without real worries and an important phase of development that shouldn't be taken away prematurely but more and more frequently is. Children are in too much of a rush to become teenagers and parents need to step in and slow them down. A young child should not be allowed, let alone ENCOURAGED, to behave like a much older individual.

[Livewire]

Everything in balance and when the time is right. When you force a child to grow up too fast, oe when you take away fundamental aspects of their childhood, you basically set yourself up for issues - it will damage their psychological well being in some way. So many people in the world are messed up becuase of childhood tramas - death of parents and loved ones, etc. Children need love, attention, and a good education when they're young. And they need to gradually progress and grow up in due time.

[gimmepie]

Originally Posted by zephyr6257

I think they just seem older.

Children can't grow faster, it's impossible :<!
.

Check my sources for information on the physical aspect, children are ,in fact, developing earlier.

@Livewire I can't help but agree. But if this is correct what could the way kids are treated, the way they are dressed, the freedoms they are given and the (not necessarily true) information they are exposed to by their community and the media be doing to children and young teens psychologically?

Here in Australia there has been a call to improve on sexual education and in some schools children as young as eleven are being taught how to identify sexual feelings. I am open minded about some of the supposed benefits of this (it will likely aid in reducing the number of easily coerced young teens) but I'm at a moral cross roads because of my beliefs in regards to our current topic. Could information like this just speed up the number of kids that are "growing up too fast"?