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  #576    
Old October 19th, 2012, 12:56 PM
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Batel
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Well, my interest has been most certainly piqued by this RP, but I'm still a little shaky on the character.

I'd like to try and get an SU done fairly soon, unless now is a bad time to join in. ;
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  #577    
Old October 19th, 2012, 02:05 PM
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Aques Keus
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Well okay, I'll be pretty inactive until all the characters have departed, (like from the battle area) I may post as Kalie but maybe not until you guys are ready to move. *Yawn better start a fiction in the mean time.
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  #578    
Old October 19th, 2012, 05:41 PM
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@OrangeNess: Weeeeell, your personality contradicts itself (...How can you be insecure, let alone weak voiced, and still be a good liar?) and your history raises more questions than it answers. (Why would a couple adopt him, or any child for that matter? What would the point be of pretending to be his real parents? What in the world does someone have to gain from paying them to do this, and how exactly are they being paid? There's no such thing as money anymore.)

Your opening post doesn't actually raise significant complaints, except for the fact that it's kind of a formatting disaster. If you're not going to use CSS and give your posts a background color, just... don't use text colors at all. It's problematic for readers.

@Batel: Now's a great time to join in. Feel free to take your time, as the posting rate is currently slightly sluggish as a great deal of characters wound up cluttered in one area.
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  #579    
Old October 19th, 2012, 06:45 PM
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Alright. I'll fix that in PTA also. I'll begin work on revision soon.
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  #580    
Old October 19th, 2012, 06:57 PM
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Cheese, for everyone!
 
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Wait, is the roleplay waiting on me.....? Crap....
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  #581    
Old October 19th, 2012, 07:17 PM
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@OrangeNess: Please note that PTA and Fallout have two EXTREMELY different worlds and history issues may not apply between the two.
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  #582    
Old October 20th, 2012, 07:05 AM
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I know, but I've been using colors in my posts in PTA, so I'm gonna fix that. Also, how many years does this take place after B/W?
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  #583    
Old October 20th, 2012, 01:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OrangeNess View Post
Also, how many years does this take place after B/W?
Did... did you even skim the first post?

I mean it. Seriously — you are making it seem as if you didn't even take two seconds to glance at the first post of this thread and you went straight to the character sheet. The time period is literally one of the easiest things to find out about this RP.
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  #584    
Old October 20th, 2012, 03:21 PM
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Alright, here's my SU. I'm not really sure if this is up to the par of awesomeness you expect... But tell me what you think, Yellow. I'll be happy to edit it if you see any problems.

Spoiler:
Name: James Joules Garnet

Nickname: Jimmy(though he hates it).

Age: 13

Sex: Male

Appearance: James possesses short, tight hair which seems to be constantly kept clean and is colored crimson. His skin is peach, somewhat neutral between tan and pale. His eyes are of a bright, gold color that seem to pierce those he looks upon. James usually wears a long red hooded trench-coat that is left open at most times, revealing the black polo-neck shirt underneath. He usually has the sleeves of these rolled up to allow for a pair of white fingerless gloves coupled with a pair of white steel bracers to be work without interference. For bottoms, James wears a pair of muddy brown cargo pants. James' clothes are frayed from constant use, though they are repaired in places from his own handiwork. For footwear he wears a simple pair of running shoes that are jet black.

In his fused form, long blades protrude out from each of of Jame's bracers. A long, curved blade also appears upon the centre his hair, which has a section of it missing of a semi-circular shape.

Personality: James is a self-reliant, self-righteous and bombastic individual who denies anyone's ideals but his own to be true. While this is incredibly arrogant of him, it also promotes a grim determination to prove what he believes is right, which means that he rarely(if ever) gives up. James likes to speak to others, but often has trouble making friends thanks to his abrasive way of stating his beliefs. Within him is a dark and grudging resentment of those who disagree with him, which resides at the very core of his nature, conflicting with his more noble inclinations.

History: James grew up with a pair of strong-willed parents who always spoke of the powerful trainers from before the purge. They had escaped from Jubilife city when long ago and had been eking out an existence in the countryside, where they raised James in seclusion, teaching him little about the outside world, and never telling him of the undisclosed location where his Father was going every every day at sundown, much to his dismay. James grew up with a Mother as his best friend, and they spent almost excessive amounts of time with one another.
Despite this, James had a love for his Father as well, who taught him how to stand up for himself and about right and wrong from an early age.

It was not until two months after James' twelfth birthday when his life changed thanks to his Father not returning from his 'trip' one night. Nor the next night. Nor the one after that. James demanded answers from his Mother, who did not try to conceal the truth from him any longer, feeling that he should know the truth. Every night James' Father had been returning to Jubilife and stealing food from right under the local's noses. During the last night this happened, James' Father was found and killed by a mob.

James left his Mother in a hysteric state to find a way of subjecting the unruly hordes that now ruled a world his parents had always described to him as 'a world of hope' to his will. While he regretted leaving his Mother greatly, he found that he could take care of himself and muscled onward, stealing from adults and children alike. Because of this, he made a number of enemies, but James cared not. He felt that as long as he could steal and get away with it, they didn't deserve the food at in the first place.

On James' journey, he accidentally found his way into the chasm left in the wake of the great cataclysm wrought by Arceus and obtained his pokéspirit, Bisharp. Feeling that he was no longer bound by his parent's philosophies, he instead decided to forge his own view of the world as was commanded by the tablet he had read upon meeting Bisharp.
Stricken by inspiration, James saw himself as the one who could return a degree of justice to the world. Thus he journeyed onward, with every intention of leaving his life up until that point behind him. For better or for worse.

Pokéspirit:

Species: Bisharp

Nickname: Lisbon

Personality: Lisbon has a rather chivalric and proud(possibly even arrogant) persona. He does not take decisions lightly and tends to deliberate on them at length. He does not speak often apart from to deliver what he considers to be important statements or questions, trusting the judgement of James and always backing him up unless he has no other choice. An astute observer can tell that there is a coldness in Lisbon's voice, almost as if he is an uncaring creature underneath his noble exterior.

Moves: Iron Defense, Swords Dance,Torment, Psycho Cut, Iron Head and Faint Attack.

Other: Defiant. When an opponent tries to intimidate or hamper James' ability to fight, he becomes incredibly obsessed with doing nothing less than smashing said opponent's face so hard that it becomes a concave mess. The blades on his arms instinctively sharpen, and his single-mindedbess drives him to hit that little bit harder than before, making his physical attacks all the more deadly.

Opening Post:
James stepped out of the shade and into the sunlight. He welcomed the bright rays that washed over him as he did, the sun's heat waking his body up after some much needed rest.
James' let forth a short tut as he saw a group of children carry a heavy pipe down the road.
"Fools," he spat "Oppressed by the weak, they become weak themselves."
James turned away and strode off toward a small river between Eterna city and Mt. Coronet.
"Again, James...?" Lisbon asked.
James hadn't quite gotten used to the voice of the Bisharp that was now his partner, but he did his best not to show it at any time.
"Of course. I don't want to be mistaken for one of..." James' sentence petered off, and he glanced in the direction of the children.
"Don't hate them, James. You should save them."
James shook his head.
"They wish not to be saved, Lisbon. They are blind to the reality that they are oppressed. I will liberate them one day, but only when I have amassed the force to do so.
I am only one boy, Lisbon. And that is an army too few."
With that, Lisbon fell silent, and James grinned. An army at his command.... It would be glorious.

Last edited by Batel; October 20th, 2012 at 03:38 PM.
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  #585    
Old October 20th, 2012, 07:18 PM
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Sorry, I'm not that much of a clear writer. I meant how many years after B/W did the pokemon vanish?
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  #586    
Old October 20th, 2012, 08:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OrangeNess View Post
Sorry, I'm not that much of a clear writer. I meant how many years after B/W did the pokemon vanish?
Quote:
Originally Posted by PkMnTrainer Yellow View Post
Welcome to the OOC/SU thread for Pokémon Fallout! We're a post-apocalyptic, sandbox'ish style pokemon roleplay set in the Sinnoh region that takes a few numbers from Pokemon Reburst rather than using the traditional systems. Interested to know more? Read the plot!~ Please note before signing up that it has been somewhere around 100 years since pokemon vanished.
This information can be found right under the title.
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  #587    
Old October 21st, 2012, 07:46 AM
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@machomuu Argh. I meant how many years after B/W did the pokemon vanish? I know it takes place 100 years after the time they did vanish. I knew that was there.
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  #588    
Old October 21st, 2012, 08:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OrangeNess View Post
@machomuu Argh. I meant how many years after B/W did the pokemon vanish? I know it takes place 100 years after the time they did vanish. I knew that was there.
Ness, think about it. The radical group took action not long after the actions of N and Ghetsis, and not long after that did the purge start. "Around 100 years" is valid for both answers, because it wasn't long after that the purge started, and because it was a rapid effect, it couldn't have taken longer than a couple months, maybe a year, for the pokemon to disappear. Thus, the timespan between the two events is rather short, your answer is "around 100 years". Now, the developments of the researchers might have taken some time, but not more than a couple years. After all, I'm pretty sure Arceus would be pissed if humans created a virus that destroyed the entire principle on which it created pokemon, it wouldn't let research continue for too long.
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  #589    
Old October 21st, 2012, 08:56 AM
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OrangeNess
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@machomuu Alright, thanks machomuu. You helped me lots.
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  #590    
Old October 21st, 2012, 11:23 AM
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@OrangeNess: I'm not sure why this is important info... If I must, I'd say somewhere around 10 years passed between BW and pokemon ultimately disappearing. That's accounting for BW2, the scientist's making final virus, and the period of time in which the virus was out but Arceus had not yet done anything about it.
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  #591    
Old October 21st, 2012, 05:57 PM
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Attempt 4. Thanks for the info Yellow. And, this is a COMPLETE rewrite. 100%
Name: Harrison (He has no memory of his last name.)
Nickname (Optional): Harry
Age (10-13): 10
Sex (Male or Female): Male
­­­­Appearance (A picture can be provided instead of a description if you sowish.): Harry is a gray haired boy with super pale skin, due to him living inthe underground. He has two thin lines around his neck and arms, and has smallgreen, yellow, and red gems in his palms like an Elgyem. He also has brightgreen eyes.
Personality (How does your character act and react to others? Theirmental state? Flaws and/or personal weaknesses?): Harry is a very excitableboy, and steals from others in the underground. He has no fear of gettingcaught for stealing. Even though he is semi-fearless and works by himself, deepdown he longs for people to like and accept him. He has always marveled at thefossils on the walls of the underground, and wants to learn about them. He hasyet to find out what they are.
History (Where did your character grow up? Who did they grow up with?What have they been doing before this? Any noteworthy events?): Harry grew upin the underground without any memory of his parents. He stels from those withfood and preserves it in his little cave he calls his home. Harry has only onefear he admits, which is Lizzy Borkson. She scares him halfway to Johto. Heloves the pastime of eavesdropping. One day he hears a rumor about Lizzy andsomethings called “pokespirits” and the “surface”. He wonders if “pokespirits”have anything to do with the fossils on the wall, and begins to study them. Oneday, while digging for more fossils, he finds a rope that goes up and up andup. He thought aloud, “Could this lead to the surface I heard about? Man, I’mexcited. Will there be more things to steal? More fossils? Who cares, I’mheadin’ up!” So Harry heads up and finds himself up on Mt. Coronet. Afterexploring for a while, he runs into the Arceus tablet. Long story short, he receiveshis pokespirit, Ellie. Ellie tells him stories of the fossil pokemon he has somuch interest in.
Pokéspirit (No legendaries. Alternate color schemes are allowed.)
Species: Elgyem
­­Nickname (Optional): Ellie (yes, I’m unoriginal)
Personality (Can be as short or long as you want): Ellie is a quietspirit with no desire to fight. She doesn’t like the fact that Harry stealsfood, but allows it because she knows it is for his well being. She didn’t pickhim because he is a thief, but because of his longing for human interaction.She enjoys telling Harry about the fossil pokemon that lived before his time.Has hints of sarcasm in her voice.
Moves (Maximum of 6. TM and egg moves are allowed. These are the movesyour charac­ter gets when they fuse): Psychic, Recover, Zen Headbutt, Protect,Shadow Ball, Nasty Plot
Other (Optional): Ellie allows Harry to float around without walking.This is now Hary’s main mode of transportation.
Opening Post (This will be what we use to determine whether your writingskills are good enough. If accepted, you may feel free to copy paste your posthere into the IC thread.):


“Living in a cave is a drag.The adults in Jubilife I steal from are total idiots. They leave their stuff inthe open. Total stupidity.” I said to Ellie.

Hey now, that’s not very nice. Don’t call people those names.

“Whatever, Ellie. I just amsaying that ‘cause it’s true. Continue about Shieldon, please.”

Well,Harry, Shieldons had tall metal heads. It used it to protect itself fromoncoming attacks. It was more of a defensive-based pokemon.

“Ellie, that’s awesome.Alright, I’m hungry. Where did I put that food.”

Harry, you ate it all.

“Oh. Well, that’s cool. I’mnot THAT hungry. Ellie, what would I do without you?”

Not remember where the food is. And probably steal a lot more.

“True.”
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  #592    
Old October 22nd, 2012, 12:46 PM
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Since it'll be difficult to have any kindness in what I'm about to say, I simply won't try. Please excuse anything offensive, even though I know all of this will be.

Let me start by saying that your sign-up sheet was physically painful to read; I actually strained my eyes withstanding it. Your first attempt was easier to bear. The first one wasn't single-spaced, nor riddled with a lack of spaces where spaces should certainly be. I had to copy it into a text editor and correct all that before I could get past "Appearance".

On the appearance and personality alike, it's extremely bare. (Well, more bare than everything else in the sheet.) What kind of clothes does he wear? How pale is "super pale" to you? Can you see veins clearly through his skin? Does it make him have an aversion to sunlight because he burns easily? or does he pull a Twilight and sparkle under the daytime star's glow? Do the stones in his hands flash like an Elgyem's?

What makes him excitable — does he have anxiety issues? Is he easy to sneak up on and startle? Why does he want people to accept him when he seems perfectly happy to be a lone thief in the history? (On that note: thieves aren't exactly outcasts, let alone hated when it's almost a necessity for those who can't forage or kill and cannibalize.) Why is he only afraid of Lizzy, when there are tons of people in the Underground much worse than him, and many likely ready to attack him if he looks at them funny?

For the history, why does he have no recollection of his family? Who raised him? How does he never have to change the location of his "home" when — again — the Underground is full of people much, much worse than him? That aside, the history is disorganized in general. Where the hell did the rope come from? How did it lead straight to Mount Coronet of all places instead of possibly dumping him in Snowpoint Temple or something? This is an act of deus ex machina, and a very annoying one to think about because the journey in getting a Pokéspirit is totally worthless. There are various places scattered around Sinnoh to go between the surface and the Underground, and he finds a rope directly connected to Mount Coronet.

Then there's the Pokéspirit. How does an Elgyem — clearly a modern surface Pokémon and thought to be extraterrestrial — have in-depth knowledge of Pokémon old enough to only be found as fossils? Also, a person getting their Pokéspirit is generally random. What managed to make the Elgyem actually have an overwhelming desire to have this particular wielder, when a Pokéspirit has to judge on appearance and whether or not they want to go back to the physical world.

Lastly, your opening post is way too short to be an opening post. 123 words when you have total freedom over your character's actions (and not having to deal with waiting for someone to react) isn't a respectable way to start at all. When we're looking at someone's sign-up, the opening post has to really stick out and show what you can do, especially if the character itself is nothing to look at whatsoever. An awesome opening post is even able to pardon a lot of mistakes in a character sheet.

This isn't a rejection letter, but I think it should be pretty clear that it needs serious revising. If you need to, take some time to improve before your attempts only produce the same quality as this.

[As an extra note, this reply was longer than the SU by over 100 words.]
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Last edited by TornZero; October 22nd, 2012 at 12:55 PM.
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  #593    
Old October 22nd, 2012, 12:54 PM
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Age: 20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TornZero View Post
[As an extra note, this reply was longer than the SU by over 100 words.]
I'm sorry, but that last thing... That was glorious.
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  #594    
Old October 23rd, 2012, 12:40 PM
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Sorry to be somewhat of a recurring thought, but could someone possibly inform me of whether my SU is up to scratch. I'd rather know so that I can edit it sooner rather than later.
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  #595    
Old October 23rd, 2012, 10:58 PM
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@Batel: Apologies. The good news is that you don't have to edit your SU, because you're approved.
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  #596    
Old October 26th, 2012, 02:25 PM
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I'm definitely signing up for this roleplay, it looks very interesting. I should have my sign up finished some time soon.

Last edited by StreetSurferNz; October 26th, 2012 at 06:40 PM.
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  #597    
Old October 26th, 2012, 04:55 PM
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Batel
A nothing.
 
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Thank you very much Yellow.

Right, so I'm not quite sure if I'll be playing by myself for a while or not. But I suppose that depends on what characters aren't fighting the Haxorus user.
I'm sure people aren't too keen to get another person involved with that fiasco. XD;
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  #598    
Old October 26th, 2012, 05:05 PM
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Well, Batel, I recommend looking at the recent posts. Most of them include location in some form, and you can find someone to interact with if you want.
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  #599    
Old October 26th, 2012, 06:28 PM
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Aques Keus
Swaggins
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Location: The Cave of Hymns
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Well I'm about to free up my main, she'd be with an older guy (who is quiet powerful in terms of his spirits) and I'm waiting for the whole fiasco to be done as well.
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  #600    
Old October 26th, 2012, 06:29 PM
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PkMnTrainer Yellow
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@Khawill: I apologize, as my ability to post has been crippled beyond my control. However, I'm currently waiting for WolfOfEve, who I believe is waiting for someone else or, much less likely, missed my post.
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