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Old December 24th, 2012 (8:32 PM). Edited December 24th, 2012 by Nakala Pri.
Nakala Pri Nakala Pri is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Nature: Naughty
Posts: 2,386
How do I live, knowing I have forgotten him.
How do I breathe, knowing I am not with him.
How do I find him, if he is already gone.
The answer avails me, as I am deep in a midnight trance.

Please comment. I need to know if this poem sucks, or is like meh, or good enough.
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Old December 27th, 2012 (5:41 AM).
Freak A's Avatar
Freak A Freak A is offline
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there's not much to critique here because i understand this is only a show of free style. obviously you have written this with more heart and less sense of poetry (sorry if that sounds harsh)

Though if i was to judge the flow i would say its a little between kind of good but kind of bad as well. i think this poem deserves more then just 4 lines i feel it could have been even more exaggerated but the fact that you've put some feeling into it (and if u haven't you've at least made me think you have) and for that i can easily say that you do have a poetic touch.
If you aint doin anythin you could view my blog: twinkietalks.blogspot.com

and I LIKE PEANUTS !!!!!
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