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  #51    
Old September 14th, 2012, 10:04 AM
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Aside from fixing up the formatting, and obviously expanding (quite a bit) on the powers since some require some major balance, the biggest problem with the holy and hell forms I can see at a glance is chronokinesis. We let Raikiri have gravity manipulation because he's got the reputation for it; we know he'll keep himself in check without having to intervene, likely not even once. It's also able to be moderated similarly to telekinesis, so it can be altered rather freely to fit the pseudo-psychic position. Time manipulation, however, is something utterly forbidden in general. There is literally no way whatsoever to moderate and balance it without having to completely disable it and its effectiveness, and there is no way I can conceive to use it without crossing the borders into godmoding or, again, completely disabling it and its effectiveness.

Unless The warden's actually willing to give you a chance to make this worth the while, this'll be non-negotiable.

Explaining on the powers (This is just me pointing out what I think of them as I read through them.)

Temperance:

Spoiler:
• The Karmic Optics: This seems rather useless. Even a sin can do good, and virtues evil. This power makes it seem as if you believe it's black and white, and it can easily get confused if the good guy is attacking the evil-doer. I mean, if the good guy's on offense with murderous intent (say, revenge for the bad guy killing his girlfriend or something), who'll have the red glow?

• MASSive Power: This, without the major balance like I said, can get so overpowered that it's to the point of being ridiculous. Without a serious limit, you could become as dense as the Earth, invulnerable to damage, or accidentally dissipate your body into air.

• Soul Seeker: Maybe make it so he can only see the most recent karmic decisions, and only their most visible hopes and fears?

• Sunlight Blades: This really just needs some balance; I don't see a problem having this power at all. He summons them; does he have to maintain their form and usefulness? Also, what can they penetrate? or are they the equivalent of light sabers in their entirety and can cut through generally anything?

Overall, none of your Holy powers are even related to temperance as a virtue. Regulation; balance; restraint and self-control. While the powers can still be used and they can grow stronger over time, not a single one has a relation to Dillon's virtue, at least that I can see. Also, how has the virtue affected Dillon's personality? All he's become is more reckless, which is the total opposite of his virtue.


Sloth:

Spoiler:
• Willpowerup: Stealing people's willpower will only leave Dillon as strong as when he started, as he won't have a continuous stream of willpower to support exerting the power he stole. (Stealing implies that they won't have it any more once Dillon takes it.) This needs to be rephrased if you want anything useful out of it.

• Insect & Arachnid Control: This one, and the Webbing, is like the Sunlight Blades. I don't mind them being here at allthey're pretty dang coolthey just need some balance to make them applicable. Does he have a range of control, and can the bugs' personalities or instincts conflict with his orders? Does he have a limit on how much webbing he can produce in a certain period of time?

While your Sloth powers are generally going to be easier to work with than the Temperance powers, you still face the issue that only one of them is even Sloth-related, and it only makes others lose the will to bother fighting. As with Temperance, you should also explain how the sin has affected Dillon's personality.
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Last edited by TornZero; September 14th, 2012 at 11:28 AM.
  #52    
Old September 14th, 2012, 12:11 PM
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Lt. Col. Fantastic
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Alrighty, I will jump on those changes.

(And btws on the karma vision thing, I'd say the attacker would be red, because even though hes a good guy he is doing a bad thing, revenge, at the time he looked. It was kinda like a right-then thing. But I'm changing it anyway so it doesn't really matter.)
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  #53    
Old September 21st, 2012, 01:05 AM
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While it seems we have a lack of players I'm still going to go ahead with this. If you have a character in the making be sure to post them before Monday. On Monday I will fill any remaining places for the sins/virtues places myself. After that the IC thread should be up and we should be able to start.
  #54    
Old September 21st, 2012, 05:30 AM
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Could I possibly make an ordinary student, to help fill in some places?
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  #55    
Old September 21st, 2012, 10:42 AM
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Of course, Fuyu! We weren't expecting 14 players, so feel free to make a normal student.
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  #56    
Old September 21st, 2012, 12:19 PM
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Okay thanks! I shall start now! XD Finished! Sorry, it's not as epic as my other one. I'm running on low steam.

Spoiler:


Name: Josiah "Joey" Spanner

Age: 14

Gender: Male

Sin: Envy

Virtue: Diligence

Appearance:

Well, aren't you a cutie?

If Joey has to hear that one more time, he'll cry. He really will. He's been called a girl more than most rockstars and he is not even a punk. That just isn't nice you know. Anyway...

Joey is the unfortunate soul whose lack of puberty has led him to looking significantly less male than he ought to look. Lots of people are embarrassed by this, no one more than he himself. It is not simply his lack of height that gives this illusion, though he's pretty sure it isn't hindering it either. It's the fact that he's... curvy. Most males don't have curves, particularly ones that make your form look according to specialists,petite. It's rather humiliating, especially when you take into consideration that he's also got a mild case of asthma. He tends to have to look up at people a lot, nine times out of ten at people in his own age group. His skin is rather tan actually, he does spend time in the sun. Plus one of his parents was supposedly of foreign descent (Not that he's sure) which accentuates his skin color to a light golden-brown. His father jokes that it matches the rest of him.

He's a little blond boy, angelic in the face and naturally fulfilling every stereotype despite the color being the color of wheat and his face sporting a couple of early pimples. His smiles hold a dimple and accentuate his multicolored eyes, one of which is hazel and the other forest green. Both have a slight tinge of grey, which in his opinion is just plain odd. His hair is a wild mass of fluffed up everywhere, so it sticks up all over the place. In his ears are a pair of small blue hearing aids and a red bandanna sometimes rests on his head to keep his unkempt hair out of his eyes.

Joey wears old, baggy clothes. Part of this is to hide how girly he looks, while another part is simply because he doesn't want to get paint on nice things. Everything he owns basically dangles off his limbs like noodles. Underneath a black smock is a white shirt, buttoned formally so it doesn't slip off. Blue jeans are held up by a belt and torn at the cuffs, leaving his mostly bare feet to barely be covered by plain sneakers. Around his neck is a cross, one that he doesn't know if it means any value to him or not. Also, Joey carries a "man-purse" because he gets rather paranoid about his art supplies and such, as well as his homework. There's no makeup or girly things in there... except a teddy bear.

Personality:

Joey is that kid at the side of the room who knows the answer the question but doesn't have enough guts to actually poke it out of his mouth. That would require speaking and he has about as much confidence in that as a sea anemone. It's not that he's scared of people actually. He grew up with about five brothers, three sisters, and his parents for god's sake. He got over his fear of people years ago. He just has this horrible case of permanent stage fright. It makes him stutter, jump, slur a couple words, and be a general nuisance to the population. Joey can talk to people. In fact, small groups without any particular big and scary authority are perfectly fine for him. Just no class, no classroom with high expectations. EVER.

Even when he talks to people, Joey has a quiet voice, almost rather shy. However, it's also somewhat peppy. He has the natural ability to get people interested in what he's saying. He also speaks to the point. While he's very happy listening to people ramble about kittens, he knows people really don't want to listen to him do it. He doesn't look or sound much like a boy so he figures it's just because his sheer oddity is disconcerting. He can be found mumbling to himself, mostly because he's very forgetful and recording it with a pen he carries in his pocket.

Joey is a well-known cloud-cuckoolander. He's a brilliant boy mind you, but he's also rather dreamy, spacing out and accidentally doodling on his homework. He'll also lose his train of thought rather easily and drift off mid-sentence. Then he'll jump back with something about pumpkins or another equally as random topic. He happens to know a lot about everything but his inability to use this information is rather disheartening... along with the fact that he blurts some of it randomly. This dreamy sort of thought process sometimes causes him to confuse people but he has faith he will get the right thing eventually. He's rather willing to wait.

He really likes animals and art, especially sheep he's accidentally dumped paint on. He's been around animals since he was very young and misses his miniature horse Bella, who was such a sweet darling to him. He gets rather... focused when working on his works. It's just a shame his handwriting is god awful. Joey is a bit of a nature freak. If there was a topic he could remember, it's that one.

Josiah dislikes showoffs and super talented people. Ironically, he has the potential to be one of those people. He just... doesn't. He's really jealous of them because they don't bother to deal with everyone else and plow on ahead with what they want. He's of course also angry but he mostly wishes he could overcome his own issues. He's really jealous of people who can play sports, since he's well... got a few issues with that. He's doing his best though. He's getting slowly better at running. Joey works hard to overcome things... even though he usually falls flat on his face. Everything is so great in concept right?

History:

Josiah was probably born in Hawaii. Or Toronto. Or somewhere over there. He doesn't know. What he does know is that he was adopted from a Wales orphanage after being very abruptly dropped onto the manager's lap as a toddler by a couple of enigmatic people who he has no memory of. He wasn't very well liked at this place, but he wasn't hated either. He was the weird little kid who could barely hear and run around, but read books rather well. A couple, having an oddly large family that enjoyed mixing themselves with the other children, pulled him along for the ride at the age of six.

Poor Josiah ended up that day with four siblings (at the time) and a whole lot of animals on the closest thing to a city farm that exists. He was dragged all around a house by kids he didn't even know and proceeded to scream and run outside, hiding in the sand dune for about six hours. They did thankfully find him. He unfortunately didn't have a particularly good time for a good few months, even years due to the family havign this bad habit of magically multiplying. However, he did grow used to it and the whole being homeschooled thing. He didn't mind learning at home, his siblings certainly didn't. After all, this was faster, had use of the internet, and tended not to make him wake up early.Also, they gave him hearing aids, which he's very happy about.

However, others, namely neighbors, did.

His brothers had this little habit of... screaming while they were outside. People didn't like that at eleven in the morning, particularly since all of their children were in little rooms doing work. Gosh darn it all so would the crazy Spanner clan. However, whenever they came to complain, all they saw was Josiah, studiously working away under the tutelage of his adoptive mother, as well as a few of the quieter children. Well, them and the occasional farm animal laying nearby. No one was quite sure what to say to this.

It was around this point, before the big scary test day, that Joey started raising Bella as a "project". She wasn't precisely easy to tame but the two of them had fun. Besides, what neighbor kid could say they had a horse? Really now, that was the pinnacle of cool! Sort of.

The whole thing with the academy was unfortunately neighbors taking notice and "blackmailing" the poor Spanner group into giving it a test run. No one, least of all Joey, expected him to get in. Sadly he did and to be honest, it still kind of scares him.

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"What Tama wishes for is..."


Last edited by Fuyu; September 23rd, 2012 at 07:14 PM. Reason: Personality. :)
  #57    
Old September 21st, 2012, 06:49 PM
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Alrighty. Have kind of been stuck in things I need to do and then musing over how to change my SU.

Gonna try and get it Saturday or Sunday.
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  #58    
Old September 21st, 2012, 08:22 PM
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As long as you get it in, Kiklion. ^_^
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  #59    
Old September 22nd, 2012, 03:08 PM
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Lt. Col. Fantastic
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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Age: 18
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I've changed up the abilities. Of course, let me know if anything is non satisfactory!

CENTER]

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Sins/Virtues
[/CENTER]

Spoiler:

I: Normal Form



Name: Dillon Summers

Age: 17

Gender: Male

Sin: Sloth

Virtue: Temperance

Appearance: Dillon is a six foot one man, with light blond hair and electric blue eyes. He is fairly muscular, able to keep up with the stronger guys on his football (soccer) team. (although he quit last year) He's also strikingly handsome. His usual clothes are black jeans, black/violet converse shoes, t-shirts, and usually a jacket or hoodie of some kind. He spikes his hair up into an anime-faux hawk style hairdo, which is about two and a half inches tall, but the sides and back are buzzed down, so his haircut looks kinda stupid whenever he forgets to gel it. Also, Dillon wears a pair of purple foakleys (fake oakleys), which he always wears (whether on his shirt or on his face) He drives a motorcycle, and wears riding gloves/jackets and a violet helmet when on the road.

Personality: Dillon is an extremely laid back guy. He doesn't care about much, not even himself. He just wants to have fun, and he does what he wants. He doesn't do what he doesn't want, and usually that is any type of work. He is friendly to people he likes, and jokes around a lot, but is a downright dickhead to people he doesn't care for. He wouldn't hesitate to bash someone for asking a dumb question, or even call them out when they lie. Otherwise, he looks out for his "bros", and usually has their back. In school, he makes great grades on tests, as he is a very intelligent man. But he doesn't ever do homework, and only does classwork when its with a group (and by do classwork I mean copy someone else) so he sits in the top 10% comfortably and carefree. He cares for his grandmother, and does what he can for her. She looked after him until he moved out a year ago, and now he visits her often to make sure she's okay. I guess you could call her his weak spot for caring. His laziness doean't often reflect on his aapearence, however. He always makes sure to dress nicely and gel his hair the right way.

He is also a member of the marching band, and can play any brass instrument and the piano. His favorite thing to do is jam on his keyboard, and he can be seen carrying it throughout the halls on occasion, playing and singing loud songs. Most people either find this hilarious, awesome, or downright annoying. But he doesn't care, because he does what he pleases!


History: Dillon was born and raised in Melbourne, Australia. His parents were both wealthy doctors, and Dillon was expected to follow in their footsteps. From an early age, his parents stressed the importance of making good grades, and doing well in school. Dillon was focused and amnitious as a child, always competing to be the best in the class. He didn't have to, but he studied a lot and learned extra information, usually just reading the entire textbook collection on the subject. He soon discovered that this was completely unneccesary and a waste of time, and began to dwindle in his studies. He still made top scores in class, but he slowly stopped working for it. The breaking point into full out BIRDGAFosity (B**** I Really Don't Give A F***) was when his parents died. He was 13, almost in high school, when he just completely stopped. When his parents died, he came to the conclusion that nothing really matters, and he should just do what he wants, before he dies unexpectingly. He still made good grades, but only because his perfect test average pulled up his 25% classwork/homework average. He lived with his grandmother until last year. He moved out beacause her small appartment was getting crowded for the two of them. He tried renting an appartment nearby, but he couldn't find one for the right price. He now lives with his friend George's dad's hotel, getting a special discount on a room to stay in.

He has been doing a lot of potentially dangerous things lately, like trading in his car for a motorcycle, and recklessly stopping a convienant store robbery on his block. Even more Recently, he has been able to control his temper better, not that it was really an issue to begin with. But he has also pretty much given up on success, not taking anything seriously. He really doesn't care if he gets in to St. Judes or not and only sent in an application to shut up his grandmother. He still shows up to work, but only because he has nothing better to do, and actually enjoys it. (he helps the middle school band as an assistant directer)

Due to his sin, he has recently stopped caring about doing much anything, sometimes even being to lazy to eat or buy necessary groceries.


Powers: His first human power is to sap/build others' willpower. He can simply make them not want to do something, or even reverse it and drive them to it. His other power, coming from his virtue, is




II: Holy Form



Appearance: Dillon's holy form mainly changes clothing. He dons a pure white version of his black jeans, with a golden t-shirt that has a white and black piano keyboard on it. His shoes go from violet to gold, with white laces instead of black. His blonde hair turns slightly golder, and his glasses turn pure gold. His eyes go from brigt blue to livid green, and the pulsate with yellow and gold energy deep inside. He also grows a pair of large, feathery wings, the feathers being the same color as his hair.

Artefact: "Welcome to the Temperate Zone", the sunglasses. They are secured with magic on his face, and are unremovable by any force besides his own. His sense of humor shows when he names these.

Powers:

MASSive power: Dillon can control his mass, becoming more dense to become an unmovable object, or lowering it to become intangable. This can be spred to what he is touching, though it takes more focus to do more than his clothes. He can become intangible enough to go through walls and such, but not enough to be a totally gaseous form. He can increase his mass to be that of about a SUV.

Hothead: Dillon can cause people to lose some control, makingnthem more hot headed and irrational.

Mello: Dillon's presence can cause people to act more rationally and level headed around him. In a sense, they have more self control.

Sunlight Blade: Dillon can create swords made of pure white energy. Ironically they are gold in color, and he dubbed them sunlight blades. They are sort of like lightsabers, only much cooler looking. (think of him holding a thunderbolt as a sword) They can cut through most anything, but denser materials can stop it (like lead) They can go through common metals like steel and iron. When he summons them, they usually take the form of dual swords, but they can be smaller like knives as well. (but not any bigger than say a claymore)




III: Hell Form



Appearance: Dillon turns demon, growing Taurus like black horns from his head. He also has a long, black furred tail as well. His hair turns black, and his eyes go from blue to glowing red, with blackness coming off of his pupils and seeping into his irises. His fingernails turn into a more clawlike state, and turn black. His teeth ar sharp and pointy as well. His clothing changes into all black everything, with red shoes and belt. His skin also changes to be grey instead of its white-ish color. He can grow wings too, but they can also be hidden from sight.

Powers:

Willpowerups: Can boost off of people's willpower to power himself up. The more intent the enemy is on fighting him, the stronger he becomes.

Sloth: (Real creative name, LCF....) Dillon can make people's reflexes and movements slightly slower/lazier. Although he can turn it on and off, it affects everyone (even his allies) when its on.

Insect manipulation: Dillon can recruit insects to do his evil bidding! Even though it says insects, spiders and other arachnia can be used too. He has to be within range to recruit them, but after that they can go as far away from him as they want. They will carry out their mission from the last time they were ordered by Dillon. The dumber ones (ants and the like; hive based insects) will actually starve to death if given a mission they don't complete quickly.

Webbing: Dillon can shoot webs, like spider-man! There is a limit to how much he can make, and it refills overtime. He can usually shoot around 30 lbs of it before running dry. They are really strong, but they can be cut through or burned (Even broken, by something as strong or stronger than a horse)
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  #60    
Old September 23rd, 2012, 07:16 PM
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I finished my "normal" person! Let me know if he's not up to snuff! :D
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"What Tama wishes for is..."

  #61    
Old September 23rd, 2012, 09:04 PM
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Spoiler:

I: Normal Form



Name: Cameron Chris

Age: 16

Gender: Male

Sin: Lust

Virtue: Kindness

Appearance: Cameron is a dark-skinned man about an inch above six feet. It is easy to describe Cameron as tall, dark, and handsome. He is tall, he is dark, and he is handsome. His features don't make him a masterpiece but they don't him paint on the wall either. He is worth at least a short glance. He has an ectomorphic body, so clothes can be a hassle and they don't really agree with him either. Cameron isn't a fashion wiz on top of that, but he does a good job. He usually wears jeans and casual wear, since you can attempt finding them in the right size without too much of a cost. He most prefers wearing short sleeve clothing in reds or darker colors. If he has a shirt that fits, but looks baggy or worn, he usually wears a jacket or hoodie over it to make himself look at least normal. His right ear is pierced with a square, silver earring.

Cameron wears a black, digital wrist-watch on his left wrist. Cameron does work out semi-regularly, so he does have tone to his arms an body. However this does very little to alter his thin figure.

Personality: Around new people, Cameron isn't much of a speaker. When he talks his voice is usually a low mumble. With those he is more comfortably acquainted with he can speak perfectly fine. Cameron is simply uncomfortable around people he rarely speaks to, partially because he doesn't know what to say to them, another part because he doesn't want to be around them, and the last part because engagement isn't really his forte. Family and well-acquainted friends are a familiar party and everyone else is almost like a danger. He tries to disassociate himself with these people to prohibit further communication, but that isn't always effective. Because of his shyness around those he doesn't know, he tries to distract himself when in a room of strangers. This habit has gotten him into book reading and he seems to always have one on him in the off chance that he needs to deflect foreign advancements. Cameron has also gotten used to staying mostly under the radar. In school he doesn't participate unless specifically asked to by the teacher and only talks when he sits next to friends (though that's usually corrected by an unwanted seat change). Studying is also a way to distract himself from the crowds, though he doesn't particularly like it. Because of this, Cameron has the best grades in the classes he feels the most uncomfortable. When Cameron is around friend he's well acquainted with, he's much more comfortable to speak and is generally a good guy. He can be friendly and and disagreeing as well. Cameron can also be quite spiteful when he wants to be, sometimes unreasonably.

Cameron is a little bit easier to upset. Insults and general can make him angry and disrespectful attitudes or disregard can make him irate. While he doesn't like talking to his superiors he does believe that they all deserve respect. He is very set on this and is unmoving in this value. He is also believing in personal duties and creates them as his responsibilities shift. Failing these small principles creates disappointment and personal blame for himself. Cameron is very set in his ways and doesn't do a lot make changes. If he does, it isn't significant. He isn't very good at "trying new things".

This is true most of the time. There have been times, however, when Cameron's personality takes an opposite turn. He becomes much more confident or outgoing, a person that radiates energy. He has the tendency to tease or jeer and has somewhat of an arrogant streak. He is much more able to get himself in trouble, it seems, and is much more willing to indulge in destructive behavior purely for the fun or pleasure of it. He's much less willing to take no for an answer and if his own persuasion doesn't work he'll attempt heckling it out of a person. Cameron is much more reckless like this as well. Cameron, as his normal self, does not enjoy the presence of this second personality that started to come around him. He doesn't know what it is or where it came from, but he's very aware that it's there. Similar to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Cameron knows of his personality, but can't control when it comes or when it goes and he rarely remembers his activities while he's like this. There are also odd occasions when his other personality seems to speak or whisper to him, but he can never call it out, it comes on its own.

History: Cameron wasn't born to some high-end family and he wasn't a math star or the most deserving child on the planet. Cameron went to school and maintained his grades for football as well as to please his mother. At school he had an enjoyable time with his friends and after school is was leagues better. The only problem was that Cameron's mother was an adamant about higher education and wanted only the best for her son. Cameron thought their current school was fine, but she disagreed. She thought he needed more of a challenge, which explained his application sent to St. Jude's. He prayed for the letter to be a decline, but unfortunately, his wish wasn't going to come true.

Powers: Lust, it seems, is the more dominate trait in Cameron and thus a power relating to Lust is not only his primary, but most used. His power, simply, is the knowledge of a single or multiple person's inner most desire, either in that current moment or one that has existed in a person for days, weeks, or years. He, however, will not be able to control when he gets these desires or which ones he receives. This knowledge is communicated to him almost like a thought. Once he receives the desire he will always be able to find it within the person. If it vanishes then the thought will be lost to him. As his power progresses he will be able to willingly find and choose desires or even manipulate and place new ones into a person. Because desires are so powerful in affecting a person, Cameron can only change, add, replace, or remove three desires in a single person.

His secondary power, relating to kindness, has no effect on himself but others. His power gives him the ability to light up a room. The activation of this power, which is near constant, can cause those in Cameron's proximity to feel happiness, calm, or euphoria. This power becomes especially active when around a negative situation. As this power progresses, Cameron will be able to affect the level of emotional change, manipulate a person's willingness to help, or even remove happiness from a person completely.


III: Hell Form



Appearance-
Because of Cameron's Lust Empowerment ability, his appearance gradually changes as he grows stronger.

Going straight into his Hell form, Cameron has small, red horns that hide in his hair and a tail (though it's not red, but the color of his skin). His nails have grown longer and claw-like and his canines have sharpened themselves. These changed aren't all that great it seems, but they seem to give him, somehow, a more attractive look, one that entices those near him to stay just a little longer.

First Form: At this point, Cameron seems to have grown taller. His horns and tail have grown larger and his claws sharper. His teeth have also grown sharper and his body has gotten bigger. His appearance looks more mature and has become, once again, much more attractive. This drawing effect has once again grown stronger. Cameron's voice, movements, and touch all have this similar affect and has the tendency to bloom desires within the person he is in contact with. However, like an Incubus, these created desires usually point towards Cameron himself, but they do not last long once he has left a person's presence.

Second Form: At this form it is apparent that Cameron has grown almost two feet from his original height and he has grown much larger than from his previous form. His horns have also grown more exponentially, now big enough to curl backwards. His tail is larger and can be used as a viable weapon. His claws are also sharper and longer. He has an older, stronger appearance and not only has an imposing air to him, but an intensely desirable one. Much like his last form, it can cause the bloom of lust or a strong desire within others. Instead of fading quickly once he's separated, these feeling instead persist, but they come as frequent or occasional thoughts. In this form these effects are at or near their maximum and he is at his best for his demonic, incuben look. His wings are large and have a wide span, large enough to carry him in flight.

Third Form: At this stage, Cameron is very far gone. Instead of the humanoid figure before, Cameron has turned into a literal monster of a demon. It is a large and ugly form. Fur has become prominent on a large part of his body and gives him a feral look. Instead of feet, he has acquired hind legs and hooves. His stance could be described as now ape-like, having to now rest on his knuckles to walk. His teeth, which have become extremely sharp, now boast two large saber teeth. At this point he has become quite large and muscled and his head and facial features can be considered boar-like. Aside from his clawed hands and arms, there is no easily found feature of him that is human. In this monstrous form, Cameron can be easily described as wild or feral. While he still can use his powers, simple acts like thinking or self-control are much harder to maintain or completely absent. It is almost as if he forgets who or what he is. Like this, Cameron is very much like a drooling animal. The effects of his previous forms are now mostly absent. Instead of attracting a person towards himself, it generalizes into anything or into a focus on anyways. These effects depend on who is experiencing them. It victimizes larger amounts of people, but the effects are not as strong. After this, any extra power given to him from his Empowerment will not change him further other than making him taller and larger, but this would take an exceedingly long time. This form is likely to burn out from being over energized.


Cameron's forms in no way come instantly and are, in fact, gradual changes. It takes longer to get from one stage to the next.

Powers-

Lusftul Energy Manipulation: This power uses the accumulation opponents deepest desires as weapons. The desires form into the shape of a being or into a suffocating and/or overwhelming cloud. If a person is being overwhelmed within the cloud it could cause the person to become obsessed and abandon their current mission in order to fulfill their desires. However, once outside the cloud, this will only last temporarily. The more selfish and abundant these desires are, the stronger the energy will become. As desires are fulfilled, overcome, or discarded, the weaker the energy will become. Of all desires, sexual desires make for the strongest weapons. If Cameron cannot take energy from another he can use the energy collected from what was gained by Lust Empowerment (which will of course drain energy). If Cameron uses his own energy he can only wield one at a time. If he uses another's he can create up to four, though that also depends on his proficiency and the amount of power he has. If Cameron uses his own energy to create an energy being, then the power doesn't slowly drain away, but store within the being from his body. This would, of course, lower his individual power. If he returns the being, then he regains the energy (or what is left), if it is defeated then he loses it. The more successful an opponent is to one of these, the more energy it loses until it eventually disperses completely.

Lustful Field: This power allows Cameron to create a field where the desires of whoever in it come true. While inside, the field creates an illusion of a world where these have all been fulfilled and the person is completely happy or satisfied. It tricks the brain into believing that this is real. It's most effective on those that are weak willed or have much stronger desires. If there are more than one person in the field then it will show them an illusion of their fulfilled respectful desires. This field does not work on people or beings that are without desires. Cameron can enter and exit this field without being affected. The more energy he's absorbed from Lust Empowerment, the larger the field can become. Creating and maintaining these fields requires control and concentration, especially with multiple people within the field. Otherwise it can be power-draining or over strenuous.

Lust Empowerment: This power allows Cameron to gain power from lustful feelings in the forms of indulgence, an intense want, the action of fulfilling these wants, or simply the thought of them. This only works, however, if they are done in sinful quantities or ways. Sexual forms of these give him the most energy. As he absorbs energy, the more powerful he becomes, and the more his appearance changes. He can also absorb this energy by performing these acts himself (though it must be sexual or an action brings down another person). The more energy he absorbs, the more his body changes. The energy produced by this power has a tendency to "leak". This "leak" makes slight changes around him and makes these occurrences more likely. The more energy he has stored, the more that comes out. These leaks are heavier when he is relaxed and can escape quickly while he sleeps. While this power does enhance his other powers, it also enhances his normal strength and will drain normally with the use of physical energy.

Omnifarious: Cameron has the ability to shapeshift limitlessly into anything he so chooses to be. The more power he has absorbed through Lust Empowerment, the more powerful he can become. Rather than being determined by Cameron's current strength, the level of his Omnifarious power is based on how much energy he stores from Lust Empowerment. If he is without this energy he will automatically turn into smaller and/or weaker versions of what he wants. It is possible for him to force his body to change into something beyond the power he possesses, but it causes a great amount of pain and his energy drains quickly.





What I have. I hope everything is in order. I feel like I forgot to add something. Please tell me if I did Warden. X)
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  #62    
Old September 24th, 2012, 11:56 AM
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TornZero
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Fuyu, as usual, you do amazing work. Even low on steam, I can't hate the prepubescent pipsqueak.

As for YOU, Kiklion...

Spoiler:
All you need is The warden's acceptance and you're good to go! I would've liked to see more of an appearance-based relation to Cameron's Sin since there are, like, a thousand ways to make that happen, but I can happily deal with the work you've put into it. ^_^

Make any changes you deem necessary, like for proofreading, and take a seat.


Lt. Col. Fantastic, I like Dillon, really, and you're one of many people I wouldn't want to reject.

Spoiler:
That said, I'll try and give you as many chances as necessary to make Dillon a complete character. (Hopefully with the formatting and some of the errors fixed as well, since a lot of it is bolded where it doesn't need to be. If you need/would like some help proofreading, don't hesitate to ask someone.)

First and foremost, there's still little to nothing on how Dillon's Virtue has affected him. His Holy appearance can also be expanded on without issue, but I'd /really/ like it if his Hell Form had some semblance to his Sin. From Belphegor to a real sloth, Sloth has quite a few portrayals and relations. The last thing on appearances is his Holy Artefact. I understand having the sunglasses, but it would be much, much, much better if it was actually embedded in Dillon's body. Magic can very easily be overpowered if someone is stronger either in abilities or just physical strength. (The Hulk, for example, would probably be able to rip those sunglasses off Dillon's face with brute force alone, and all the Sin & Virtue students are going to end up being stronger than the Hulk with their powers, not to mention a few as-of-yet unnamed NPCs.)

Powers

Spoiler:
• The human form abilities: I'd prefer if you changed his Sin ability to some point so it doesn't let the Sin actually take over whenever he uses it. You also need to add an ability for his Virtue. xD

MASSive Power still needs some kind of balance (though mostly logic, rather than actual power balance). You'd have to be LESS than gaseous to pass through something solid. Maybe just concentrate that pseudo-intangibility to a certain amount of his body at a time to pass through attacks without losing his entire body to an atomic scattering in the process.

Hothead and Mellow: These really just need expansion and some explanation; like, how much recklessness can Hothead cause, and how difficult is it for someone to resist the effects of these two abilities? (I'll go with the Hulk as the example again, because he probably couldn't get more reckless, and there's no sense in trying to make him level-headed.)

Sunlight Blades: While the cutting through steel and iron is acceptable, it should require some effort since the school is mostly concrete. A missed swing could bring it down in no time. xD

Willpowerups: This also needs some extra explaining. Is the boost affected by range; can it also affect those around him? That kind of stuff.

Insect Manipulation: Personally, I wouldn't call hive mind insects dumb when you compare them to other bugs. This needs just minor expansion. Does he have an approximate range of effect, how simple does the order have to be for the bugs to carry it out?, etc. (Bugs and arachnids alike are rather stupid compared to humans; they wouldn't be able to understand something complex.)

Webbing: Still love it, but 30lbs is a /bit/ much. Like, a fifth or sixth of Dillon's total weight, depending on how heavy he is. Putting it in terms of volume rather than weight also helps, such as gallons or litres. Strands of spider webbing are also ten times stronger than steel of the same weight. (Spider webbing can even be used in bulletproof vests!) Your webbing can be MUCH stronger than it currently is; just lower the amount he can use over a given period of time.
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  #63    
Old September 24th, 2012, 04:17 PM
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Lt. Col. Fantastic
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Okay. I will fix those things again....

And just a heads up, I've been grounded for a week or so...so thats why its taking so long to fix. I will try and do it at school tomorrow.
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  #64    
Old September 24th, 2012, 08:59 PM
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Not a beginner that's for sure
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When you say appearance-based relation what do you mean? I related it for the Hell form mostly. Do you mean his normal form? I can add to it.
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  #65    
Old September 30th, 2012, 01:52 PM
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Hello everyone, I have had a few really busy days really busy week but I'm back now and hoping to catch up with everything in time. I agree with everything that TornZero had to say about your characters and will add them to the OP soon. Lt. Col. Fantastic, maybe it would help if you talked to me about your powers while planning them. Watch this space as very soon there will be a sneak preview of the two other characters.

Spoiler:

I: Normal Form

Name: Kara Thompson

Age: 16

Gender: Female

Sin: Envy

Virtue: Diligence

Appearance:

Personality:

History:

Powers:

II: Holy Form

Appearance:

Artefact:

Powers:

III: Hell Form

Appearance: In her Hell form Kara takes the form of something that looks like a leech. He body changes shape becoming slug like and her size can change drastically, depending on how empoewered she is. Her skin becomes black and gains a thick layer of protective ooze, while her eyes glow a deep shade of green.

In her smallest form she is the size of a real leech and her mouth looks almost human, even though it is to scale with her form, though her tongue turns silver. As she grows her mouth changes from being human to being a massive maw filled with teeth, her tongue grows long and thin. Along it's length it grows barbs and by the time she reaches her full size she is able to flick it out to pull people into her gaping mouth and gnashing teeth. Her full size is about twelve feet long and six feet tall, but is rare for her to be able to reach this size.

Powers:
Emotional Feeding: Kara's hell form feeds on negative emotions. As negative emotions are it's food source it can sense them in the air. When it finds a large amount of negative emotion she can breathe them in to grow larger and heal minor wounds. The larger her form gets the more quickly it burns through it's energy so Kara isn't able to stay in her larger forms fro too long.

This ability is always active even in her human form, meaning that upon transformation her starting size will depend on the negative emotions of those round her. Feeding upon negative emotions darkens Kara's mood and makes her a worse person, though only while in her hell form. Kara is unable to feed off her own negative emotions as they are “contaminated” and would weaken her if she did so.

Protective Slime: In here demon form Kara's body envelopes it's self in a layer of ooze. This slime protects her in a number of ways. It makes her harder to catch, grab or wrestle with. Additionally she is resistant to heat and fire to a degree.

Charming Voice: While in here smaller modes, Kara gains the power to charm people with her silver tongue. She can attempt to convince someone to do her bidding by whispering in their ear. This is not always effective but works almost al the time on people harbouring negative emotions. There is a catch however when Kara charms someone she contaminates their emotions so for a while she will no longer be able to feed from them. As a rule of thumb Kara cannot feed off someone who is currently charmed by her. Charmed people do not think normally and will forget everything they do whilst charmed.

Mouth Weaponry: Kara's greatest offensive weapon is her mouth when she grows to full size. She losses the power to charm people but gains teeth capable of crushing bones and tearing through flesh. Her tongue becomes a weapon in it's own right as she is able to use it to pull people in.

Last edited by The warden; September 30th, 2012 at 02:01 PM.
  #66    
Old October 16th, 2012, 05:34 PM
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Lt. Col. Fantastic
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Okay, so sorry this has literally taken me a month to do. But I think I am finally finished!

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Sins/Virtues

Spoiler:

I: Normal Form



Name: Dillon Summers

Age: 17

Gender: Male

Sin: Sloth

Virtue: Temperance

Appearance: Dillon is a six foot one man, with light blond hair and electric blue eyes. He is fairly muscular, able to keep up with the stronger guys on his football (soccer) team. (Although he quit last year) He's also strikingly handsome. His usual clothes are black jeans, black/violet converse shoes, iconic/ironic t-shirts, and usually a jacket or hoodie of some kind. He spikes his hair up into an anime-faux hawk style hairdo, which is about two and a half inches tall, but the sides and back are buzzed down, so his haircut looks kinda stupid whenever he forgets to gel it. Also, Dillon wears a pair of purple foakleys (fake oakleys), which he always wears (whether on his shirt or on his face) He drives a motorcycle, and wears riding gloves/jackets and a violet helmet when on the road.

Personality: Dillon is an extremely laid back guy. He doesn't care about much, not even himself. He just wants to have fun, and he does what he wants. He doesn't do what he doesn't want, and usually that is any type of work. He is friendly to people he likes, and jokes around a lot, but is a downright dickhead to people he doesn't care for. He wouldn't hesitate to bash someone for asking a dumb question, or even call them out when they lie. Otherwise, he looks out for his "bros", and usually has their back. In school, he makes great grades on tests, as he is a very intelligent man. But he doesn't ever do homework, and only does classwork when its with a group (and by do classwork I mean copy someone else) so he sits in the top 10% of his small class comfortably and carefree. He cares for his grandmother, and does what he can for her. She looked after him until he moved out a year ago, and now he visits her often to make sure she's okay. I guess you could call her his weak spot for caring. His laziness doean't often reflect on his aapearence, however. He always makes sure to dress nicely and gel his hair the right way.

He is also a member of the marching band, and can play just about any brass instrument and the piano. (and he plays the didjeridoo to be silly sometimes) His favorite thing to do is jam on his keyboard, and he can be seen carrying it throughout the halls on occasion, playing and singing loud songs. (he's pretty average at singing) Most people either find this hilarious, awesome, or downright annoying. But he doesn't care, because he does what he wants.

History: Dillon was born and raised in Melbourne, Australia. His parents were both wealthy doctors, and Dillon was expected to follow in their footsteps. From an early age, his parents stressed the importance of making good grades, and doing well in school. Dillon was focused and amnitious as a child, always competing to be the best in the class. He didn't have to, but he studied a lot and learned extra information, usually just reading the entire textbook collection on the subject. He soon discovered that this was completely unneccesary and a waste of time, and began to dwindle in his studies. He still made top scores in class, but he slowly stopped working for it. The breaking point into full out BIRDGAFosity (B**** I Really Don't Give A F***) was when his parents died. He was 13, almost in high school, when he just completely stopped. When his parents died, he came to the conclusion that nothing really matters, and he should just do what he wants, before he dies unexpectingly. He still made good grades, but only because his perfect test average pulled up his 25% classwork/homework average. He lived with his grandmother until last year. He moved out beacause her small appartment was getting crowded for the two of them. He tried renting an appartment nearby, but he couldn't find one for the right price. He now lives with his friend George's dad's hotel, getting a special discount on a room to stay in.

He has been doing a lot of potentially dangerous things lately, like trading in his car for a motorcycle, and recklessly stopping a convienant store robbery on his block. But he has also pretty much given up on success, not taking anything seriously. He really doesn't care if he gets in to St. Judes or not and only sent in an application to shut up his grandmother. He still shows up to work, but only because he has nothing better to do, and actually enjoys it. (he helps the middle school band as an assistant directer)

Due to his sin, he has recently stopped caring about doing much anything, sometimes even being to lazy to eat or buy necessary groceries. Just as recently, however, he has gained a higher control over his temper and is able to stay clear minded in even the most ridiculous of situations.

Powers: Dillon's human power of sin lets him make people fall alseep. He does so by placing his hand on their back and exporting the power of sloth into them. If they can manage to get Dillon's hand off them before they fall asleep, it will be stopped. It usually takes around 6 seconds for this power to work.
Dillon's human power of virtue allows him to analyze things quickly and clearly, so he can plan out his actions before/if he does them.




II: Holy Form



Appearance: Dillon's holy form mainly changes clothing. He dons a pure white version of his black jeans, with a golden t-shirt that has a white and black piano keyboard on it. His shoes go from violet to gold, with white laces instead of black. His blonde hair turns slightly golder, and his glasses turn pure gold. His eyes go from brigt blue to livid green, and the pulsate with yellow and gold energy deep inside. He also grows a pair of large, feathery wings, the feathers being the same color as his hair.

Artefact: "Welcome to the Temperate Zone", the sunglasses. His sense of humor shows when he names these. They are actually imbedded in his flesh, the arms behind the ears and the fronts in his face, making his eyes unseeable normally. The lenses can go transparent if he chooses, but why would he? Those shades are downright cool.

Powers:

MASSive power: Dillon can control his mass, becoming more dense to become an unmovable object, or lowering it to become intangable. This can be spred to what he is touching, though it takes more focus to do more than his clothes. He can make certain parts of his body completely intangable, but not all at once to completely dissipate into the atmosphere.. He can increase his mass to be that of about a SUV.

Hothead: Dillon can cause people to lose some control, making them more hot headed and irrational. It mainly only adds a bit of annoyance to them, which can sprout and grow to anger and irrationality. (Also, it would not work as well on someone who knew Dillon was using this power. They would know that the annoyance was just him, and it would basically stop being annoying after that.) Dillon has to maintain this ability, because if he loses focus and stops using it, the effects will wear off.


Mello: Dillon's presence can cause people to act more rationally and level headed around him. In a sense, they have more self control. On the average population, it generally lets them take more insults, violence, or anger before they lose their temper. Mello can also calm down the most rash of humans to the point where they actually think before they act, even once they go past anger. It would have little to no effect, however, to someone who has gone completly insane or superhuman. Much like Hothead, Dillon must concentrate on using this ability. The effects are weaker when he doesn't focus on using them, but unlike hothead they never completely go away.

Sunlight Blades: Dillon can create swords made of pure white energy. Ironically they are gold in color, and he dubbed them sunlight blades. They are sort of like lightsabers, only much cooler looking. (think of him holding a thunderbolt as a sword) They can cut through most anything, but denser materials can stop it (like lead) They can go through common metals like steel and iron. When he summons them, they usually take the form of dual swords, but they can be smaller like knives as well. (but not any bigger than say, a claymore) The stronger he focuses on maintaining them, the more powerful they become. (Basically they wax and wane in strength based on how much energy and effort Dillon puts into them)




III: Hell Form



Appearance: Dillon turns into a demon representing his Sin: The Goat (Caprademon) He grows a bit larger than usual, around 6'5" and 205 Lbs. (as oppossed to his human 6'1" and 180 lbs) His skin grows black, coarse fur that resembles that of a goat. It covers everything except his hands, face, and feet. His head hair grows more bush like and black as well. Two long, goat like horns sprout from his head, each a little less than a foot long. They are yellow in coloration. He also grows two bat-like wings, which are also covered in black fur. His wingspan reaches just under ten feet, which can be quite intimidating. Finally, His eyes turn into a very brigt red, and almost look as if they are on fire.

Powers:

Willpowerups: Can boost off of people's willpower to power himself up. The more intent the enemy is on fighting him, the stronger he becomes. This is only in effect while he is fighting that enemy (as in close range combat) and cannot be spread to those around him. The only thing that affects the level of his power is the enemy's intent. Range does not have an effect. It goes away once his enemy is either dead, or they are no longer fighting. This boost grants him greater strength and speed, and at higher levels, it can even let him grow larger

Sloth: (Real creative name, LCF....) Dillon can make people's reflexes and movements slightly slower/lazier. Although he can turn it on and off, it affects everyone (even his allies) when its on.

Insect manipulation: Dillon can recruit insects to do his evil bidding! Even though it says insects, spiders and other arachnia can be used too. He has to be within a 5-ish meter range to recruit them, but after that they can go as far away from him as they want. They will carry out their mission from the last time they were ordered by Dillon. The misson itself would have to be rather simple, not much more than "attack this" or maybe "get this and move it over there". He can communicate with a form of telepathy, and he can use it like an email. (send to all, a specific group, or an individual)

Webbing: Dillon can shoot webs, like spider-man! The webbing is created with chemicals his hell form produces rapidly, along with water. As long as he stays hydrated, he can create webbing.
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  #67    
Old October 16th, 2012, 06:57 PM
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Woo! That took a while, didn't it? Either way, after all the edits and work done, I have no reason to say you're not accepted!
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  #68    
Old December 26th, 2012, 10:48 PM
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I definitely will work on a SU. Too bad I can't reserve a spot but this reminds me of Persona 4 for some reason. Anyways can't wait to post my SU, hopefully within a day or two.

Just 2 questions. Can sins/virtues that have already been claimed, be claimed by other characters? Also, (This may sound obvious) but what is the significance of the characters choosen sin/virtue?
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Last edited by dcjboi; December 26th, 2012 at 11:01 PM.
  #69    
Old December 29th, 2012, 06:12 AM
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Threads that have been inactive for over a month are counted dead and cannot be revived. Therefore, this thread is closed.
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