[Discussion] Your bully just died.

[Cassino]

I am no longer indignated and possibly injured at the hands of another? I'd be glad since that's the only relevance this person had to my being.
It seems to take an appreciation for the process of life and a sense of objectivity not to be phased by death or hold cultural pretences about it.

[Sydian]

If someone harms you it's 100% human to wish bad fate to befall upon them.

I think it's a bit disgusting to ever wish death upon someone though. We may wish bad on someone, but I think it's way too much to just hope someone dies. But suit yourself. I did make this thread to see how everyone else would feel, so it's serving its purpose at least.

A pity this is even debate-worthy.

This isn't meant to be a debate, though. It's a discussion. No one has been debating in this thread, that I've seen.

[Livewire]

I wouldn't think it appropriate to wish death (awfully strong reaction I think) on anybody, bully or not. Just kick his ass instead.

[LilJz1234]

I wouldn't even give one bit of sadness for someone who bullied and just died on a random day. He didn't care about how I felt when that person bullied me, so why would I feel any type of remorse over him, dead or not. If he wasn't gonna stop bullying me or other people then, sorry to say this, but he's better off dead.

Sorry for my post to sound so cold, but that's how I am towards people who bullies other ones.

[Kanto_Johto]

I'm going to be frank. If somebody who had immorally bullied me (and therefore most likely other people too) I would not show an ounce of care for their passing. Sure, their family and friends will be upset, naturally. Doesn't mean I have to be. As far as I'm concerned, that person gained self satisfaction at the expense of others during their time alive. If I'm a victim of that person's cruelty, why should I give a **** if they die?

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't wish death upon them. But if they happened to pass on (as millions do every day) I would not care at all. I can't see why anyone who is a victim (or is related to a victim) of theirs would care.

[Ultimate PKMN Trainer Red]

Last year, (2012) there was a bully since 2010 who kept bullying everyone (except his friends ) around. He was transferred to another school and I'm damn happy about it. But if he dies, I...I'm not gonna say: "HAHAHA YAAAAYY!" I'd, be like, :O But I'm not going to care that much, because he was a bully, did bad things and that's why this happened to him. I quite understand why he died.

[Sweets Witch]

I wouldn't wish death on somebody I hated, but I also wouldn't complain if they were to die. Wishing death on someone who then dies would no doubt lead to baseless guilt, which would only make me feel worse as opposed to better because it'd make me feel as if my wish was the deciding blow.

That being said, there's no actual harm in wishing for the death of a bully. It makes you feel better (if it didn't, you wouldn't wish it) and the bully wouldn't care because to them it's just words from a lesser being. Actually acting on it and killing the bully would be a big problem, though.

[Elgyem]

Sorry, I'm not one of those "loner" emo kids who cuts himself while wishing death on people who dislike him. Why do that and let the bully win when instead you could stand up to him instead, showing him that you have the confidence to fight back? Wishing death on anyone, except for people who are genuinely atrocious (people such as Hitler, bin Laden, etc.), is overkill (no pun intended).

Just think of this: Wishing death on bullies is the kind of train of thought that causes school shootings.

[twocows]

Originally Posted by PiemanFiddy

Good. It's not dishonorable to think ill of the dead if they punished you to begin with. Giving them remorse is like giving beer to a drunk. It's a recurring problem, and had she lived, she would've continued bullying your sister.

This, pretty much. Being dead does not suddenly absolve you from all the wrongs you committed. Pretending to care about someone's death when you don't is pointless. Be tasteful: don't go out of your way to talk poorly of the deceased, but you're under no obligation to speak well of them, either.

[Laugh]

Your bully died. Why should that mean we should celebrate? If he or she did something horrible to me, I'd still mourn over their death. I'd forgive them. I'd forget the past we had.

[twocows]

Originally Posted by Laugh

Your bully died. Why should that mean we should celebrate? If he or she did something horrible to me, I'd still mourn over their death. I'd forgive them. I'd forget the past we had.

So I imagine you mourned the sudden, tragic death of Osama Bin Laden?

[outfox]

Originally Posted by twocows

So I imagine you mourned the sudden, tragic death of Osama Bin Laden?

Osama Bin Laden =/= someone who committed indecent behavior toward you a few times in their life. I think it's perfectly fine to mourn over the death of a fellow human being regardless of their actions; after all, they may not have been given the chance to learn from their actions and change. There are too many different factors to consider to give a straight answer on what one is expected to feel, but anyone experiencing bullying prior to their bully's death has every right to feel whatever they feel.

[AnonygooseD]

I can only say that if you're good and kind to people, then your enemies/bullies would have to be the meanest persons ever; because they would have no reason to hate you, so I guess you won't feel very sorry for them if they died.

You might feel sorry for their parents though.

[François]

Originally Posted by Elgyem

Sorry, I'm not one of those "loner" emo kids who cuts himself while wishing death on people who dislike him. Why do that and let the bully win when instead you could stand up to him instead, showing him that you have the confidence to fight back? Wishing death on anyone, except for people who are genuinely atrocious (people such as Hitler, bin Laden, etc.), is overkill (no pun intended).

Just think of this: Wishing death on bullies is the kind of train of thought that causes school shootings.

This is a terribly insensitive point. I'm obviously no advocate of self-harm or indeed wishing death on your bullies, but just because you are supposedly strong enough to fight anyone who dared bully you doesn't mean everyone is. If you try to "stand up" to someone twice your size (and possibly with a gang of people equally large backing them up), you're an idiot.

But as for the topic at hand, I don't think there's a problem with any feeling towards a death, really. Despite being quite a heartless person on occasion, I don't believe I'd be happy about the death of much anyone. That said, I've seen terrible bullying and find it perfectly understandable for someone at the receiving end of that to not care (or even be relieved by) the death of the person who inflicted that upon them. A death is always a waste, yes, and one would generally feel bad for the relatives of the one who died (although I wonder how one would react if they found the relatives equally contemptuous?), but I wouldn't judge someone who was happy about the death of a person who negatively impacted their life, no.

And to the people who've said they wouldn't be pleased - if any of you were being bullied to the extent where you genuinely feared for your wellbeing (or even your life), how would you react to the death of the person making you fear for it? I realise that's very similar to the main question but I find taking it to the extreme is generally a good way to test if people are flexible at all. Personally I'd be hugely relieved, and I've no shame in admitting to that.

[Elgyem]

Originally Posted by AnonygooseD

I can only say that if you're good and kind to people, then your enemies/bullies would have to be the meanest persons ever; because they would have no reason to hate you, so I guess you won't feel very sorry for them if they died.

You might feel sorry for their parents though.

Right, so if you're really nice, then those who bully you are worse than even Hitler? No. Just no.

[twocows]

Originally Posted by outfox

Osama Bin Laden =/= someone who committed indecent behavior toward you a few times in their life.

You missed the point entirely. The point is that death does not make someone a saint and you should not be expected to forgive all of their wrongs simply because they're dead. Sometimes bad people die. It doesn't make them not bad people. I won't go out of my way to speak ill of the dead, but I won't lie about my thoughts if questioned and I won't feel bad for maintaining a poor opinion of that person.

I think it's perfectly fine to mourn over the death of a fellow human being regardless of their actions; after all, they may not have been given the chance to learn from their actions and change. There are too many different factors to consider to give a straight answer on what one is expected to feel, but anyone experiencing bullying prior to their bully's death has every right to feel whatever they feel.

Bin Laden was a human, too. Not a very good one, but he still was.

[outfox]

Originally Posted by twocows

You missed the point entirely. The point is that death does not make someone a saint and you should not be expected to forgive all of their wrongs simply because they're dead. Sometimes, bad people die. It doesn't make them not bad people. I won't go out of my way to speak ill of the dead, but I won't lie about my thoughts if questioned and I won't feel bad for maintaining a poor opinion of that person.


Bin Laden was a human, too. Not a very good one, but he still was.

I feel you, I understood. I only meant that a childhood bully is most likely less menacing than him, thus easier to forgive. If that makes sense. I never meant to exclude Bin Laden from being human, I should have made that more clear. I maintain my view that you have just as much of a right to feel that way and express it as someone else has a right to not harbor a grudge, even grieve if they feel like it. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

[Elgyem]

Originally Posted by twocows

You missed the point entirely. The point is that death does not make someone a saint and you should not be expected to forgive all of their wrongs simply because they're dead. Sometimes bad people die. It doesn't make them not bad people. I won't go out of my way to speak ill of the dead, but I won't lie about my thoughts if questioned and I won't feel bad for maintaining a poor opinion of that person.

You know, there are varying degrees of bad that a person can be, right? So according to your response, a bully is just as bad as Osama bin Laden.

Interesting.

[twocows]

Originally Posted by Elgyem

You know, there are varying degrees of bad that a person can be, right? So according to your response, a bully is just as bad as Osama bin Laden.

Interesting.

I have to wonder if you even read what you quoted, since I could pretty much copy it verbatim as a response to what you just said.

[Whistler]

Well, if a bully of mine died, I'd feel sad for her if she never repented or anything. She may get a harsh afterlife judgement in that case... :/

I'd also feel bad for the bully's family, although I would feel relieved that I don't have to worry about a bully hurting my spirit. ;D

[Yoshikkko]

Originally Posted by twocows

This, pretty much. Being dead does not suddenly absolve you from all the wrongs you committed. Pretending to care about someone's death when you don't is pointless. Be tasteful: don't go out of your way to talk poorly of the deceased, but you're under no obligation to speak well of them, either.

Agreed, and also, I would have mixed feelings if something like that happened, obviously I wouldn't celebrate their death because I don't think anyone deserves it, and I would sympathize with their family and friends, but I wouldn't be surprised either when I would catch myself feeling a hint of relief/satisfaction or whatever you want to call it, even though I would probably feel really bad about it.

[CarcharOdin]

Someone who was a real jerk to me in middle school died before he graduated high school. I honestly don't think I cared that much. And it's not that I really hated the guy and wished him dead. Yeah, he was a real jerk, but he didn't bother me as much in high school, so I just didn't pay him any more mind. Then when he died, I was just "wow, he died? Pity for him, I guess."

[lollygag]

I wouldn't think it would be a good thing to feel happy about someone you know dying, even if they were a jerk

If it was a genuinely horrible person, such as a killer, I could understand being happy. A typical school bully is a far cry from a truly wicked person such as a neo-Nazi or a member of the Taliban. But still, it's wrong to laugh at people dying, even if they really deserve it.

[Aerilyn]

A typical bully can range from your everyday tease to someone who goes out of their way to severely harm someone on a constant basis. I don't think anyone should ever wish death upon someone unless that person is someone like Hitler or Osama Bin Laden or even a free walking serial killer. Someone like a bully though? I think wishing death upon them is going too far. It's this train of thought that can at times lead to school shootings or students bringing weapons to school.

However, by no means should someone feel like they have to mourn over this person's death or are obligated to do so. If all the deceased ever did was bully someone and make them feel like their life isn't worth living, then that someone has the right to feel however they want to feel. I'm not saying they should go around parading the hallways publicly cheering "Hooray!" over this person's death, but they don't need to feel sorry for them either.

If it were me, I'd probably feel very indifferent over the situation. I wouldn't be terribly sad about it as that means I no longer have someone bullying me everyday, but I'm not going to feel typically overjoyed either, because it's still someone's life and I'm still human enough to care even a little.

[KriegStein]

Lets see. If a person who bullied me would die
Of course I cant say I would mourn deeply but I could feel sorry for his/her relatives and friends. I think that when people die their family/friends usualy have a much more positive aproach on the person. I mean that people often remember the good rather than the bad. Which is fine by me. But I think a person should be rememberred of what he/she was and for their deeds. Not for something they were not. And as for the Osama thing...bah...people die everyday, one persons death is newer such a spectacle that should be celebrated. No. Every death should be accepted as is. Without nation wide celebrations. It is human nature to be happy when a hated person dies...but that doesnt mean it is still right either. I am not taking a stand on the question did he deserve it. I just express how I think.