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  #1    
Old October 10th, 2012, 11:53 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
Edit: 05/12/13

Rules: First Pokemon seen in an area you catch. (i dont count this until after Oak has given me the Pokeballs.) (Shinys are the exception)
Second, if Pokemon faints it's dead and needs to be boxed for good.
Third, Nickname all Pokemon caught
Fourth' no items used on Pokemon that is on the field for a battle on used items with Pokemon that are returned.

Also,decided to post chapter links to dev art so this wouldn't be so hard to keep in control. thanks for putting up with my edits and Hope you enjoy the story.


Last edited by BigO2233; June 23rd, 2013 at 11:02 PM. Reason: adding new chapter
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  #2    
Old October 21st, 2012, 03:50 PM
darkpokeball's Avatar
darkpokeball
Beware the Chainsaw Meowth 0.o
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: In your nightmares
Hello! I just read the prologue and it seems rather interesting so far. I have a few tips to make:
“Mommy get up, you shouldn’t sleep on the chair like that.” Catherin yawns and manages a smile as she picks up her little boy, wrapping him up in her arms and holding him up to shoulder length.
Put an 'E' after Catherine.
"Well young man you shouldn’t be up this late anyway. But I appreciate your checking up on me.” She kisses his forehead and runs her finger through his hair. Arceus he needs a haircut soon.
Add a comma before young and a comma after man.

There's a few other things, but I'm too lazy. Anyways, cool story so far! I'll read Chapter 1 when I have more time.
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My Chainsaw Meowth is currently missing! If you have a lead or think you know something, PLEASE PM ME! I am desperately searching, and I dread the possibility that I may never find him...
On a side note, if anybody can answer the following question right, then they get a mystery prize! *Must have a Gen V game to claim prize*
Question: What the heck did Jinora do in the finale?! I don't get it! I know 90% of you won't know what I'm talking about, but I need an answer!
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  #3    
Old December 9th, 2012, 01:46 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
thanks for the crtis and ya that would have been alought better....ill def try to make that better. after all im ameteaur but thaks again. sorry it been a while since i been posting but there will be more!
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  #4    
Old December 14th, 2012, 02:31 PM
Astinus's Avatar
Astinus
Remember NovEnder
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Connecticut, USA
Age: 27
Gender: Male
The title was what caught my eye with this. Do you mean to have that "d" at the end of "Fire"?

There are actually a lot of typos in this. Do you read over your chapters when you finish them before you post? That might catch a lot of the typos, along with having someone else look over it before posting to catch anything you might have missed. Fixing up the typos would make this easier to read because readers won't be stumbling over strange-looking words.

Another thing is that you tend to cram a lot of information into one or two sentences. Like here:
Quote:
She’s wearing the usual gear for any trainer; short’s, an armband with a symbol of a PokeBall on the side, red all over with two arches on the top and bottom with a button like circle between them, easy to run in tennis shoes and an opened up silver jacket with a strapless black top snug under the zip up. He dark hair is tied into a ponytail the stretches down to a just past her shoulders.A finger length bundle of hair is died a crimson red and stretches from her scalp down along the rest of hair.
I had to read through this part several times to realize that not only are you listing what Catherine is wearing, but also describing what a Pokeball looks like and how she styles her hair. There are a few solutions to this. One thing is to interweave the description in with the action. Like, for a really quick example: "She pulled her silver jacket tighter around her. Despite the heat of the spectators, her strapless black top couldn't keep her warm on its own."

(I'd also say that I'm not sure if that's the typical gear of a trainer. Most tend to wear long pants, which are better suited for traveling. And not many trainers dye their hair or wear armbands.)

Another solution to that paragraph is to think about what's really necessary to tell the readers. For instance, right now I'd say that it's not really important to know what Catherine wore when she was younger. What would be important is the fact that Allin wears a fedora, so that when you mention that Zanas wears one as well, the reader can make a connection.

Onto Zanas as a character, I'm not sure how he feels about his ability to talk to Pokemon. He doesn't like people calling him a freak for it, but he doesn't really go out of his way to hide it. He's openly arguing with a Rattata in front of people, including someone he's never seen before. It's just weird that he doesn't try to hide it, since the ability could get him very unwanted attention.

Your story does have a different start to it other than a character waking up to be a trainer. There's just quite a few grammar issues to clean up. I'll wait for more chapters to see how you handle Zanas's journey.
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  #5    
Old December 30th, 2012, 10:32 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
Here be Chapter three

Gone but didn't forget
Spoiler:

The hours passed as the old man lectured Zanas, Gary and Melody throughout the evening. Thankfully though, his lecture evolved from mindless Pokémon science terms and into something more exciting. Gary had been, and continued to lean back in his chair, balancing on the back legs with his foot on Professor Oak's desk, having heard these stories of real world survival before however Zanas and Melody, it was a first.

Oak ran down memory lane, recalling the days of harsh rain and snow and whatever else Arceus could throw at him in one day. Wrestling Kangaskhan for food, not to capture them, putting out fires on tents and homes in the middle of a battle gone too far, having to fight through sickness and sometimes life changing blows from wild creatures or even the worst of human kind. The professor was lost in retelling his old stories of youth, attempting poorly in relaying the methods of survival to the three while giving into to self praise.

As the old man told his tales, Melody had been writing down every detail she could gather in a three ring binder she had been keeping in her back pack, along with pencils and other utensils of the like. Many times she would raise her hand and ask the Professor to stop or repeat what he just said. This was done to Zanas's displeasure, as for once he was enjoying Oak's long winded speeches. It took a lot of lip biting for Zanas not to scream at the girl to stop asking so many questions and just listen. But in time the Professor had filled his speaking quota, and slumped in his chair and caught his breath. After so many hours of talking, silence filled the room, but it was a welcomed silence. Oak turned to face the clock just above his closet door, seeing the hands point to twelve in the morning.

"My goodness is it already that late?" The professor blushed, as he scratched his head. "Sorry for keeping you three here so late, I never get lost in my own self praise for so long."

That's a lie Zanas thought, and as he and Gary met glances, he knew his friend was thinking the same.

"I don't mind at all, professor." Melody chimed in with an honest tone. "Those were interesting tales, but I actually have a few more questions about how you managed to bring a Kangaskhan down by yourself. If you don't mind keeping me longer that is?"

Does this girl want to be here all night? Interesting stories aside, I wanna live my own adventure not hear any more of his. Zanas and Gary looked between Melody and the old man, seeing the all-too-familiar twinkle in his eye. He was ready for round two, now with a Q and A. The boys jumped from their seats and quickly gave their goodbyes to Melody and Gary's grandfather in incomprehensible mumbles, then bolted for the door like there was no tomorrow.

Zanas and Gary were greeted by the outside world with a cold breeze and the sound of crickets in the background, with the occasional light flickering in the distance from the insect Pokemon of the grass and trees. Zanas leaned backward, attempting to pop his back after sitting in place for so long, seeing a small figure fall off his shoulder along with his brown fedora.

"Hey?!" Prince jolted as he thumped on the ground. The purple rodent quickly shifted to his feet and looked at his surroundings, shooting out questions left and right. "Who? Where? What? How?!"

"Calm down buck-tooth, we're just outside the lab." Zanas assured the Ratatata.

Prince looked at Zanas for a moment, still registering the words. His breathing slowed to a normal pace as he sat up straight and proper. "I can see that now." Prince's eyes went wide and his elegant stance broke as he seemed to realize the time of day. "How the heck long did that old coot keep us in there for?!"

Zanas walked over to Prince after picking up his hat, readjusting it on his head, forward then pushing it back to just above his bangs. "About four or five hours. You should of stayed awake. Things got interesting." The boy stretched his arm out for Prince to climb back up on his shoulder, petting the rat to calm his nerves. "But I give you credit for not begging me to leave for those four hours."

"Well what kind of a proper beeing would I be if I didn't understand the virtue of patience?" Prince moved his front paws, motioning with his words to appear as elegant as he sounded.

Zanas flicked the rodent's nose. "You'd be the same spoiled rotten rat but even more insufferable."

"Count your blessings for my perfect nature then."

Zanas shook his head and went back to petting the Pokémon on his shoulder, as he turned to Gary, who was squatting down to pet his Squirtle's underbelly. Gary turned to Zanas, as if feeling the boy's gaze on him and rolled his eyes toward the blue turtle. "I'm starting to see why you complain about petting Prince so much."

Zanas smiled as he let out a sigh. "Welcome to the world of a Pokémon Trainer. Hust a fancy title for a personal petting machine."

Gary shook his head and stood up, his Squirtle looking up at its new master with big open eyes. Zanas stared at those eyes, large and black with open wonder…like a puppy. He looked to his friend with confusion written all over his face. "Gary, how old is that Squirtle?"

Gary looked back to his partner Pokémon and shrugged. "Maybe a couple of months."

Zanas walked over and took Gary's place, petting the Squirtle's under shell. The water Pokémon didn't resist and laid back, rocking back in forth in delight. "He's cute."

"Yeah he is." Gary confirmed, kneeling next to Zanas. "But he's a bruiser as well. I tried to tell him not to do something earlier today and he tackled me."

Zanas laughed at this, Prince crawling up and laying in the indent in the boys fedora to stay a part of the conversation. "You got brought down by a baby Squirtle?"

"Ha, hardly." Gary picked up and rolled the Pokémon over with his foot. "Mikey knocked the wind out of me but that's about it." Gary grabbed Mikey by his swirled blue tail and lifted him in the air. "He's pretty immobile when I do this." The Squirtle fidgeted and tried desperately to fight back, its voice resembling that of a small boy to Zanas's ears as it grumbled and whined.

"You really think you should be holding him like that?"

Gary set the shelled creature down as Zanas spoke, Mikey quickly retaliating with a tackle. Gary took the shot hard in the stomach and fell back a couple feet from where he once stood, Mikey flying with him as Gary held him close. Zanas started to run to his friend, but the spiky-haired boy put his hand up before Zanas got too close.

"It's fine." Gary groaned, getting back on his feet. He reached a hand down to Mikey, who flinched, expecting to be hit for his retaliation, but instead was pet gingerly. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." Mikey closed his eyes and rubbed against his trainer's hand, easily forgiving him.

Zanas relaxed and smiled watching the two accept the other apology quickly. "He seems perfect for you."

"You think so?" Gary jumped to his feet placing Mikey on his head like Prince, only unlike the rodent, Gary had to hold Mikey in place for fear of him rolling off.
"Sure. You're both stubborn and have a bad temper."

Mikey glowered at Zanas for the insult, Zanas surprised that a Pokémon so young could even comprehend what he was saying. Smarter than you look aren't you.

Gary took the insult in a more lighthearted manner, but his expression still showed his hurt pride. "Hey I'm not that bad am I?"

"The sleep over on NewYears three years ago."

Prince snickered at that memory. "Your first fight over a female, and you came out on top."

Zanas smiled snidely and bumped his fist with Prince's paw in triumph, as Gary set Mikey down. "Yeah I did get pretty pissed off that day and you beat me up pretty bad." Gary spoke with held back anger as he lowered his face from sight. "You apologized for weeks afterword's, but then…"

Zanas groaned and rolled his eyes as Gary lifted his head, revealing a wide smile of pride that had been hiding behind his feigned gloom. "I got the girl to kiss me in the end and all you got was the title of school bully."

"You can go straight to the Distortion World you jerk."

"Come on and make me fedora boy!"

The two glared at each other, both balling one hand into a fist and reaching behind them for their PokeBalls, just like they had done when they were busy pretending. The difference this time was it was for real. Zanas clicked the mini ball in his hands and enlarged it, pulling his arm back to throw and release his new partner, while Gary pointed toward Zanas and opened his mouth to shout a command to Mikey, who looked all too ready for a fight. This is for real. My first batt-

"Oh no you don't!" Prince shouted, pushing Zanas's fedora over his eyes just before he released the PokeBall.

"Hey, what gives?!" Zanas shouted, dropping the ball as he used both hands to rip Prince off his head. Prince held onto the fedora in his mouth looking at the boy with a blank look.

"It's late, I'm hungry, and we have to get up early tomorrow. Postpone the match."

"Like hell I will!" Zanas shouted. "We've been sitting on our butts for hours now and now is the time for a fight!"

"Hell ya!" Gary cheered, pumping one arm in the air. Even though Gary could only heare one side of the conversation, he still sided for a brawl. Mikey was even copying his trainer's motions and repeating his "Hell ya!"

"No." Prince said, pushing his paw into Zanas's right eyes, forcing it shut. "You will feed me now. Beside's we don't even know how much of a fight your new partner will have in him. Plus we don't even know what Pokémon he is."

Zanas glared at prince with his free eye but eventually subsided with a sigh. He's right. We could be at a huge type disadvantage and not even know it.

Zanas put his hat back on and let Prince back on his shoulder. "Another time." Zanas groaned

Gary shook his head but didn't seem too upset. " Im guessing Prince said no?"

Zanas nodded, glaring at his very needy Ratatata.

"Your just a slave to your pet aren't you Zanas."

Before Zanas or Prince could come back with a smart remark, Mikey grabbed at Gary's pant leg, pointing to his mouth and belly. Zanas and Prince laughed and gave a simultaneous "Awww" As Gary blushed and waved them off, returning his partner after promising him food. "Looks like we're both slaves."

Gary laughed turning toward the lab. "I gotta get my Grandpa out of that building so he can get some sleep. We've all got a long day tomorrow." He walked a bit closer before turning around to Zanas, who had leaned down to pick up the dropped PokeBall, finding it hadn't opened yet. "You got the PokeDex and the trainers badge right?"

Zanas pulled both the red tablet device and his card from his pockets just to prove he had them. Gary nodded and waved Zanas off without looking at him. Zanas turned to walk but halted instantly when Gary quickly shouted "Smell ya later Zanas."

He turned to curse his friend out, but the spiky haired prick had already run inside the lab building. Prince was laughing and desperately clinging to Zanas's shoulder now, unable to control himself. "He'll never let that go, haha!"

Zanas groaned, thankful that the black night would cover his red blush as he stormed home. "I'm surrounded by so much love in this town!"




The door creaked loudly, sending chills down Zanas's spine as he pushed the frame open. He always hated that sound. It was almost as unpleasant as fingers rubbing on a balloon or a foam noodle kids played with in pools. Prince shook his head as he leapt off the boys shoulder, running toward the kitchen, calling him over to feed him. "I demand sustenance!"

The rest of the house was similar to all the other homes in Pallet town. Kitchen in the back left as you come in, living room and TV in mid right. The only difference was the hard wood floors that replaced the usual carpet flooring, that and the recent lack of furniture and curtains and the fact Zanas couldn't see anything in front of him. He reached for the light switch to his left, warning Prince to be ready for the sudden flash. The switch flipped and made a plastic clicking noise, but there was no light from the ceiling fan. As Zanas focused his sight toward the fan, he noticed that there were not light bulbs installed. Zanas groaned, but not like usual. This was more silent and contained, but also more revealing. You even took the bulbs from the fan? I knew we were worse off then you told me.

"Here what I say?!" Prince yelled. "Hungry!

"Alright, alright." Zanas walked to the kitchen and kicked the door to the spin around drawer his mother always called "Lazy Susan". As the door spun around, Zanas was surprised to find both the upper and lower racks to the drawer bare. "Damnit" Zanas slammed his hand on the table, not feeling the cool granite top on his palm, but instead felt paper under his hand. Zanas squinted his eyes, to see the paper better; able to make out letters, but not clearly enough to read what exactly was written. Next to the paper was a cardboard box about the size of the TV the once took up an entire desk.

Prince, used to walks and hunts in the dark, leapt up to the table with ease, and sniffed the box. "Food?!" The rodent cried as he jumped inside and began devouring anything he could.

"Arceus Prince you act like I never feed you."

"I said I wanted food didn't I?" Prince mumbled with his mouth stuffed.

Zanas nodded. "Ya…ya you did."

As Prince pigged out in the box, Zanas leaned against the table, scanning the house as his eyes adjusted to the dark. It was just as empty as he had left it early that morning, and just like before, it didn't feel right. She really wanted out of this town. Zanas thought. No goodbyes or arguing him not to go. Was he really the only thing keeping her grounded in this place? Maybe it was best she didn't stay. No use trying to convince her otherwise and there was defiantly no need to be teary eyed before tomorrow.

The box next to Zanas continued to jerk around as Prince crawled inside. Zanas chucked and reached in to pull the rat out. "Will you wait for me to get you a bowl or something before you eat evrything?"

As Zanas placed Prince on the table the Pokémon drug out a black hat from inside. Zanas eyed the head wear then took it from the Pokémon, still having trouble seeing anything past the dark of the night. Even so, he didn't need eyes to tell what style of hat he was holding. "A fedora?"

"And by the smell I think it's brand new." Prince added "Maybe a couple days old."
Zanas eyed the hat, and then placed it on the table, reaching in to see what else was hidden inside. "Food…lots of it…a back pack…a map of the island…and money?!" The box was full of things that Zanas, or any other trainer would need to start out their travels. Was he supposed to see this earlier? Was she still home when he was cleaning up Oak's office?

Zanas stared at the content of the box, holding both the hat and the back pack, managing to make out the dark green color of the pack as well as the PokeBall symbol in the middle. When he looked up, Prince was smiling snidely. "What?"

Prince shook his head and made a clicking noise as he sat up proper. "You are such a mama's boy."

"Bug off rodent." Zanas pushed Prince back his hand, but the Pokémon held on. "You can't hide that smile from me, your relieved she didn't just leave you. You were probably going to cry."

Zanas waved the rat off. "Please. Me cry? Not gonna happen anytime soon."

"Mhm" Prince smiled and continued to give Zanas a look that made the boy want to pound him.

"Don't test me buck-tooth."

"Whatever." Prince jumped from the table to the boy pocket, pulling the PokeBall out. "Shall we see what surprise is inside?"

Zanas nodded and clicked the PokeBall to enlarge it. Without hesitation Zanas clicked the button again and the PokeBall opened, instantaneously releasing a burst of white light leaping to the floor. Zanas and Prince winced and covered their eyes, not ready for the sudden flash. For a long moment the two didn't dare open their eyes, until Zanas heard a yawn come from just in front of him. A light reddish orange lizard, with big orange eyes and a fir tipped tail sat on the ground, looking up to Zanas with the same open wonder that Gary's Squirtle did. The face wasn't like any kind of scaly creature Zanas had seen. It was rounded and cute like a human baby, but he could clearly see the scales that ran down it's body.

"A Charmander." Zanas breathed. Silence over took the house for the briefest of moments before Zanas knelt down to the baby, beaming a wide smile. "Hey there little guy." He spoke in a soft friendly tone as he slowly reached his hand out and pet the Pokémon. At first the creature growled, its eyes taking a more feral shape. Prince jumped back a bit, looking between the trainer and Pokémon. "Um Zanas?"

The boy ignored his friend and continued to pet the youngling, who continued to growl. Zanas pulled his hand away and stared at the fire type. "Your grumpy aren't you. Why's that?"

The Charmander didn't answer, instead a loud growl could be heard but not from the baby's throat, but it's stomach. Zanas jumped to his feet, now able to see thanks to the lizards flame, and reached in the bag to pull out a can of Pokémon food, as well as two small dishes. "If that was your only problem you should have just asked."

Zanas poured the dry food for both the baby and Prince, and took turns petting each as they ate. The fire spitter had stopped growling and instead moved its body with the hand that feed and pet it. Once both had finished eating, Zanas reached out his hand to the babe, quickly being licked and snuggled. Prince jumped from the table and stayed close to Zanas as the new born finished eating. "See, nothing to be afraid of."

"Hmm." Prince inched closer to the Charmander, and sniffed the creature, backing away as the Pokémon did the same. Both stared at each other with wide eyes for a long moment. Then the baby, closed its eye's and smiled, lifting a paw up. Prince jumped back, growling, expecting to be scratched. But when the Fire type lowered its paw and tilted its head in confusion, prince realized it meant no harm.

The rodent walked back and lifted a paw, motioning for the Charmander to copy him, which it did. Prince then slapped his paw with the younglings and smiled. The Pokémon looked at its paw then back at the Ratatata and raised its hand outward toward Prince high pawing the royal rodent again. Prince nodded and stood tall facing Zanas. "I never believed this one was trouble."

Zanas shook his head, not wanting to argue with his friend. The boy stood and looked among the things he had pulled out of the box, able to see more clearly now thanks to the Charmander. He reached for the new fedora, and just like Prince said, it was brand new, the tags still attached to the fabric. Zanas removed the stickers and tags, and examined the hat. It was similar to his brown one in style, with the indent on tope that bulged out when worn, and the dip in the front that gave it its specific look. Unlike the other hat it was all black and no other notable designs except for one.

A purple design that looked similar to the ghost Pokémon Haunter was sewn in the right front side of the hat. The design looked just like the creature with a upside down triangular body with two claw like hands that had not attachment to the body what so ever. To make out a mouth and eyes, the designers had left open sockets and gap in place. It was a clever design, one that Zanas hardily approved of. "Not bad mom."

Zanas looked over the rest of the items, the food all was canned or packaged so that it could be stored and cooked for later, and the back pack looked the same in the light as in the dark. Zanas's eyes skimmed over what was left from the box with little interest until his eyes fell upon the note once more. He could make out the words now and read it. He took the letter and squat down to the other to Pokémon, reading the letter to himself as he lightly pushed the Charmander's tail closer toward him.

"I don't know what you did but Oak probably has you cleaning up another on of his messes again. The house isn't going anywhere and your room will be kept the same. Sleep well and get rested before you leave tomorrow. The box has everything you'll need. I don't agree with you going on this journey. I never will. But I won't stop you. I won't support you all throughout this but if you ever get into trouble that you can't handle please come home or call me. I love you. Be safe for me."

The note was short, but it said enough. Zanas held the note tightly in his hand as he forced back his tears. No way was he going to cry in front of Prince right now. He folded the paper up and placed it into one of the multiple pockets of the back pack, before loading up the food in as many folds as he could. When he finished he turned to both Pokémon, petting them both but turning to the Charmander. "Were gonna go on one heck of a journey tomorrow. We wanna travel the world, and do some battling along the way."

"Not to mention meet as many women as possible." Zanas flicked Princes nose, but the rat smiled anyway.

"So Duke. Wanna come with?"

The Charmander titled its head for the first time since Zanas spoke. "Duke?" It questioned, with a child's voice.

"That's your name from now on. It's a brave name for a brave guy like you."

Prince snickered. "Not to mention the name of a failed star."

Zanas chuckled. "Well this Duke can bring back the name and make it awesome again." The boy turned back to the youngling and raised an open palm like Prince had done before. "So what do you say?"

The Charmander bit its claw, pondering the offer as best it could. It looked to Prince still questioning its choice, as the rat gave a claw up and nodded his head. This seemed to be enough to sway the fire type as he quickly smiled with an open mouth and pawed the boy's hand. "Well I guess you're in."

Duke nodded his head, smiling with his eyes closed. "You know," Prince said as he pointed to the newly named Duke. "He technically didn't 'Say' anything."
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  #6    
Old January 5th, 2013, 11:54 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
ANOTHER!

Rules and Bloody Faces
Spoiler:
Two days had passed since Zanas, Prince and Duke marched from the safety of the boy's empty home. It took to pass most of what Pallet town had to offer. A handful of houses were still locked up and quiet so early in the morning, a few shops that sold dolls and homemade trinkets still closed before working hours and of course the lab which may have had its lights on, but if anyone was still inside they were fast asleep.

Zanas didn't stop for even the briefest moment at any of these places. He didn't need to sit down and reminisce about days past. His life in Pallet was like an episode on TV that had been a rerun since the pilot, and he was sick of it. Always the same jokes and people with the same daily grind. It wasn't a bad life per se; it just got dull far too quickly. Add in a rather tough childhood of bullies and bruises up till high school, and there wasn't much to reflect positively on.

Zanas didn't have second thoughts, not this late in. When he stepped into the tall grass, he took off running, holding Prince on his shoulder and Duke in his new napping spot, the indent on the top of his fedora. Before long, Duke and Prince were fighting Rattata left and right, along with the occasional Pidgey, and had grown quickly in level.

Both Duke and Prince were at level 8, the newborn having already learned ember, and the royal rat, gaining immensely in speed, learned quick attack. They reveled in their progress for some time the night before but now both Pokémon were asleep in their respective red and white holders, earning a well-deserved rest. In the meantime, Zanas toyed with the PokeDex, finding it had more than an ever growing encyclopedia for Pokémon, but also a small wealth of information about the creatures' aging process while with a trainer, as well as the league.

"The aging process for Pokémon within captivity can differ greatly from a Pokémon in the wild." The device said with a gender-ambiguous voice. "Pokémon kept as pets can live longer due to being kept from predators or changing weather conditions, but a Pokémon used for battle is quite different. What can be considered a newborn Pokémon can grow into adolescents within a few months to a year depending on how strenuous the living conditions are. Thus the leveling system was theorized as a method to track the growth of a trainer's Pokémon."

The tablet went on to say that the leveling system is not a perfect method as some Pokémon train and live in harsher conditions than others in both the wild and in captivity. "The leveling system is best referred to for trainers that travel regularly and/or are taking the Pokémon League Challenge." The device went on about the rules of the league, but Zanas new these by heart and closed the spring open door to shut the lesson off. The Elite four, the best trainers in the league, can only be challenged by a trainer who has obtained eight badges within the four year time limit. Thankfully, I have all four years.

Other League rules consisted of the limit of Pokémon a trainer can catch in each area, that being only one per route or cave. This way, humans wouldn't disrupt the Pokémon habitats too harshly and the future generations would still have Pokémon to see and catch. Other than that, the League rules coincided with the state laws, so there wasn't much else to know about the League other than its long history, but Zanas didn't feel like listening to an historical documentary on the PokeDex at the moment.

He looked about the Pokémon Center, finally lifting his head from the Pokedex, seeing the mass of people and Pokémon crowded in different groups. The trainers, both young and old, were chatting or arguing about whose Pokémon is the best or which up-and-coming League rival was worth the title of Champion. Meanwhile their Pokémon were off eating, sleeping or fighting like there trainers, but with more growling and biting.

From the outside ,the Pokémon Center was a large white building topped with a red roof. The buildings escalated high off the ground, needing as many rooms for trainers and Pokémon to rest from their travels, or from surgery. Zanas had been sitting in the lobby for most of the day, only sleeping at night in the upper floors. Most people in Pallet town had poked fun at the "prison rooms," but they weren't so bad. Warm blankets, decent bunk beds, and a separate shower room and sink were all a traveling trainer really needed.

The nurses, both male and female, were always kind and patient with their human and Pokémon patients, not to mention some of the women nurses were very attractive. Unless you try to get out of bed before they say you're ready. Then they'll body check you before they let you leave. For the most part, Zanas never saw more than a few of the nurses leave the back rooms where the operations and health checkups were done. In fact, for as many nurses as there were, he'd never even seen a doctor. Come to think of it, he had never heard of a Pokémon doctor ever. Were they all just nurses?

No matter the title, the Centers were a place of recovery and relaxation and the people who ran them made things all the better. Though as helpful as the Center was, like the League, it had its own set of rules. Zanas could only stay for three more days before he would have to move on to the next town and until now, he hadn't caught a single Pokémon. When he walked to the front desk and asked how long his initial starters were going to take, a male nurse told him, "It might be another hour or so. These two were worked to death."

At the comment, Zanas frantically tried to defend his Pokémon's exhaustion, but the man waved a hand as he laughed. "It's just a joke. Don't take it so seriously."

"Sorry." Zanas said, smiling, as he adjusted his fedora downward from habit. "I just don't wanna have those two taken away because of bad Trainer conduct or something."

The male nurse smiled, leaning back in his chair as he fiddled with a pencil. "Unless you walked in here and started kicking your Charmander or beating a Pidgey in the beak, you won't have to worry about losing your Pokémon." The relief on Zanas's face was obvious, and the nurse smiled. "Besides, if you really were treating them poorly, they could just as easily set you on fire or maul your face off."

"Dude." Zanas groaned as he grabed his face, cringing at the thought.

"Good to have a new trainer who has a sense of humor. Pallet town right?"

The question caught Zanas off guard for a moment. "Yeah, how'd you guess?"

"We've been getting a lot of new trainers walking in here lately and since Pallet town is so close by, I just assumed."

So the others got started ahead of me after all? It was probably for the best. Zanas would rather get run down by a Rhydon than have an awkward encounter with anyone from home.

With home on his mind, Zanas quickly thought of one person in particular. "Any chance you saw a brown spiky-haired kid come in here?"

The man thought for a moment, leaning back in his chair as he tried to recall. "Purple shirt, weird yin-yang necklace?"

"Exactly!"

"Nope haven't seen him."

"You're an ass."

The nurse cracked up at this remark but recovered quickly, seeing that Zanas was looking to get a serious answer. "He came in a few hours ago, while you were out training with your Pokémon, no doubt. Like you, he sort of stuck out from the crowd with that goofy getup of his. Does anyone in Pallet town grasp the concept of style?"

Zanas quickly looked over his cloths; worn out sneakers partially hidden under a pair of loos fitting blue jeans, a green leather jacket and black shirt, and cocked his head to the nurse. "What's wrong with my clothes?"

The male nurse smiled mischievously as he looked over Zanas' clothes, or at least that's what he hoped the guy was looking at. "Nothing much, just they look worn out. You've barely stepped out in the real world yet you look like you just crawled out of a cave."

Zanas shrugged at the man's remark. "They fit me and keep me warm and from breaking any indecency laws, so I don't care all that much if they look good. They suit my needs."

"That sounds like an excuse."

"Well it's not." Zanas snapped back at the nurse. Surprise flashed over the man's face at the sudden bite in Zanas's words. Zanas pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Sorry."

The nurse raised his hands in surrender, his smile returning. "No it's fine. I was pushing into your business. Not the first time my curiosity got me in trouble."

"How so?" Zanas asked, thankful to switch the conversation to someone else, but the nurse merely shook his head and told the trainer it was "a story for another day."

Zanas kept himself from asking anything further out of respect for the man doing the same, instead deciding to head outside and get some fresh air. Before leaving, he turned back to the Nurse, wanting to tell him the real reason why he had snapped, but the man had already been dragged away by a Chansey, who seemed very upset at him for some reason.

Zanas walked throughout Viridian, looking in shop windows as he passed them. Brand name gear for the up-and-coming trainer, multiple restaurants serving everything from Orange Island pasta, that Zanas had maybe eaten once, to some hors d'ouevres that he wouldn't even attempt to pronounce. When Zanas took a look at the prices of said food or clothing, the boy's stomach churned. How can you ask me to pay over one hundred bucks for a hat or jacket.

The hat in questions was, for once, not a fedora, but a red billed and white topped baseball cap with a green arrow like insignia on the front. The little label next to the hat said 'one of multiple designs' and had two small pictures of the same hates in different colors, one with a red bill and back and only a white front with the arrow and another completely black and purple. Some of the jackets were of similar design. Others branched out into different brand names, colors and logos.

All looked appealing, but none were within the trainer's price range. Zanas breathed out sullenly. "My cloths suit me. Why would I want to spend money I don't have on anything more?"

He moved on, looking at whatever else the city had in store for him. Seeing many families crowd the shops, while most people his age and older stayed near the PokéMart or open fields. Viridian was definitely a tourist trap for any resting trainer or traveling couple, but in the end there wasn't much to stay for. The city was no different from Pallet town, other than the few attractions to keep children busy. There was an old Gym building out in the farther end of the town, but it had been closed for years. No legal fights, no shows of extravaganza. Just public displays of contempt.

"You wanna say that again!"

"Are you deaf and dumb, you ugly wast of space?!"

Two trainers, looking in their thirties, were arguing outside the PokéMart loud enough for everyone to hear. It was hard to understand what they was so angry about as their words mixed together with shouts. All anyone could make out of their arguing was that the bearded, homeless looking one had dropped his liquor and the clean-cut but overweight man was to blame. Zanas, like the rest of the now gathered crowd, kept at a distance as the two men threw crude slander at one another, then their Pokémon.

The larger man's Sandshrew was the first to catch Zanas's eye. Its cracked desert yellow skin made the creature look foreign to any grassland area, and it's long curved claws showed that it could either climb or dig with great speed. The other Pokémon was a Mankey, a white furred primate Pokémon with a glare as sharp as knives, and a pig nose just under its peepers. Zanas suppressed a laugh at the creature's looks, wondering where the thing's mouth was under all that fur. It looks like a pig with thumbs

The two trainers coached their Pokémon into what moves to use and how to use each. Even while drunk, the men clearly had a strategy in mind. The Sandshrew moved first with a sand-attack and then quickly dug underground after the Mankey missed with a low kick. Seeing there was no way to avoid the oncoming attack, the hobo ordered his Mankey to take guard and jump at the very last second. The primate did as was ordered and crossed its arms over its body, squatting down to jump when ready. Before long, the Sandshrew burst from the ground sending chunks of dry and wet dirt in every direction, slashing upward at the Mankey.

The defending Pokémon took the blow in stride, jumping upward with the Sandshrew rather than letting the digger's force launch it in the air. Now both Pokémon were in mid air, the fat man's Sandshrew having to follow the other man's Pokémon to land its hit. "Now Rogan, grab it and throw as hard as you can!"

Zanas blinked for a second, and suddenly the Sandshrew was being swung around in circles by the Mankey, who had grabbed tightly onto its tail. The crowd marveled and cheered as the white furred bruiser sent the desert mole through the air straight into the ground. The Sandshrew hit with a hard thud, head first as it punctured a head sized hole into the ground, just left of the previously dug hole. "That was a seismic toss!" Someone in the crowd cheered. That was so fast, I almost missed the impact. Zanas looked back and forth between the Mankey, now landing with a roll, and the Sandshrew, yelling at the ground type Pokémon to get back up. The mole did manage to pull its head out of the indent in the ground, but quickly fell backward, passing out from such a surprisingly powerful throw.

The crowd was cheering for more, calling out to keep the battle going, but in the confusion the larger man admitted he had only the one creature on him. "That's alright." The homeless man said, as he crossed his fist against the other's jaw. "I'll keep this going myself!" The two men started to fight one another, throwing punches left and right. Some people cheered for a bigger brawl while others realized that this had devolved into something more than just the usual trainer battle and tried to pull the two off of each other.

Eventually the two were pulled away from each other, the police thankfully not having to intervene. The crowd dispersed, having seen enough. Many of them had gone to start their own Pokémon battles, but not anything too rowdy for either human or the creatures. After the fight had been broken up, Zanas walked around town once more, this time at a faster pace. His hands were shaking, and every little sound made him jump and twitch. He eyed the other fights, but found he couldn't sit still long enough to watch them.

They were tame, normal sportsman like brawls between the trainers and their Pokémon. Nothing else blew out of proportion like at the market. So why did he feel so antsy? For whatever the reason, his hands stopped quaking by the time he returned to the center, less than twenty minutes after the fight. Both Duke and Prince were sitting casually on the waiting room chairs, accompanied by the nurse from before.

"Zanas!" Duke happily cried out as he ran and hugged the boy's leg. Zanas bent down and set the dragon in the indent of his hat, running his hand over the creature's head and down its back.

"How you feeling?" Zanas asked both Pokémon, sitting down to pet Prince behind his ears. Neither Pokémon spoke up while being pet, but the minute Zanas removed his hands, both went frantic relaying how enjoyable their stay was.

Duke gushed over the delicious food he had munched on for the past hour, while the "Nice rainbow haired ladies pet me as I napped." Prince however, went into descriptive detail over how he tried to woo the female Pokémon into curling up with him, never saying the outcome of said wooing, though Duke filled in the details of the physical abuse the rodent suffered.

Zanas gave Prince a look as if to ask, "Seriously?"

Prince shrugged and rolled his eyes. "These girls just can't handle me. They're all too shy or…agitated."

Zanas smiled and pet both of his Pokémon, only now looking up to the male nurse who had been keeping watch. "Thanks for keeping these two from running amuck."

The nurse waved his hand at Zanas, a motion that he must do to everyone, and said it was nothing. "The Rattata was the only one who really gave me trouble, but he came out with more than enough bruises and bites, so there's no need for any more grief." Zanas smiled at Prince, who looked away, standing proper, taking offense to what was said. "So did you see anything interesting in our fair city?"

Zanas told the nurse about the drunken brawl, leaving out the details of the fight between the Mankey and Sandslash, and for once the nurse frowned.

"Things like that happen here sometimes, but it's still an annoyance to have to patch up both the Pokémon and their trainers over some stupid squabbles."

"Now natural disasters or death, that's a whole different story."

"Exactly!" The nurse broke out laughing, slapping his knee again. Suddenly two Chanseys and three very angry looking nurses appeared behind the male nurse, having heard the man's loud bellowing. The nurse didn't even turn around and when Zanas tried to inform him of what was behind him, he merely waved him off once more. "I know, I know." He said, getting to his feet.

"All work and no play, that's my life." He stood up, shaking Zanas's hand, without giving the boy any time to respond or shake freely, and said, "It was fun while it lasted I suppose." He walked off as the nurses began yelling one thing after another behind him; the only words that Zanas or his Pokémon could understand were Mr. Joy. They sat silently, Zanas and Prince both bewildered by what had just happened. Duke however waved the man goodbye, smiling brightly, oblivious to everything.

Prince, breaking from his confusion, crawled up Zanas' shoulder, lightly pawing the side of his face to get the trainer's attention. "So who won?"

"The Mankey used a seismic toss and knocked the Sandshrew out."

Prince smiled widely behind his large teeth. "Now that sounds like a Pokémon to have on our team."

Zanas looked at Prince blankly for a brief moment then smiled, looking off to the side as he pictured the idea of having a Mankey of his own. "That actually wouldn't be a half bad idea."

At the mere mention of a new Pokémon, Duke leaned forward, over the tip of Zanas' fedora, smiling innocently. "A new friend?"

"That's right."

Duke cheered and hunkered back down into the fedora, wiggling in the indent with anticipation. Zanas pulled out his PokeDex, hoping to find something that would tell him where to look for the pig face thumb user.
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  #7    
Old January 7th, 2013, 12:18 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astinus View Post
The title was what caught my eye with this. Do you mean to have that "d" at the end of "Fire"?

There are actually a lot of typos in this. Do you read over your chapters when you finish them before you post? That might catch a lot of the typos, along with having someone else look over it before posting to catch anything you might have missed. Fixing up the typos would make this easier to read because readers won't be stumbling over strange-looking words.

Another thing is that you tend to cram a lot of information into one or two sentences. Like here:
I had to read through this part several times to realize that not only are you listing what Catherine is wearing, but also describing what a Pokeball looks like and how she styles her hair. There are a few solutions to this. One thing is to interweave the description in with the action. Like, for a really quick example: "She pulled her silver jacket tighter around her. Despite the heat of the spectators, her strapless black top couldn't keep her warm on its own."

(I'd also say that I'm not sure if that's the typical gear of a trainer. Most tend to wear long pants, which are better suited for traveling. And not many trainers dye their hair or wear armbands.)

Another solution to that paragraph is to think about what's really necessary to tell the readers. For instance, right now I'd say that it's not really important to know what Catherine wore when she was younger. What would be important is the fact that Allin wears a fedora, so that when you mention that Zanas wears one as well, the reader can make a connection.

Onto Zanas as a character, I'm not sure how he feels about his ability to talk to Pokemon. He doesn't like people calling him a freak for it, but he doesn't really go out of his way to hide it. He's openly arguing with a Rattata in front of people, including someone he's never seen before. It's just weird that he doesn't try to hide it, since the ability could get him very unwanted attention.

Your story does have a different start to it other than a character waking up to be a trainer. There's just quite a few grammar issues to clean up. I'll wait for more chapters to see how you handle Zanas's journey.
yes i regularly have someone re read through my story and i definatly accept the criticism. The prologue i didn't have any look at but since then I have. i am if, anything a very novice writer which is why i wanna tell this story so that i can grow as one. as for the fire, no it wasnt but i kept it cause it sounded neat to me. as for describing the Pokeball i just kindsa blanked on doing so. The excuse is that everyone knows that it looks like but honestly i just didn't think of it. thanks again and i hope i keep your attention and entertainment. And for now yes he feels like a freak but he isnt about to change or hide this ability as it wouldnt do him any good. ill touch up on that fact later on though.
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  #8    
Old January 21st, 2013, 10:52 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
in all new chapter awaits

Encounters of the Random Kind
Spoiler:
Duke glared intensely at the white-haired monkey, locking eyes with the rival Pokémon, his eyes wide and bulging as his stare grew more and more intense. Prince shifted his gaze between the two, hoping that the Mankey who would break first.

The Mankey, just as wide-eyed as Duke, stared into the lizard's eyes, only with a more comfortable gaze. She sat cross-legged, not moving a muscle. She had her tail wrapped around her waist so the lizard wouldn't have an excuse when he lost. The two sat there for five long minutes, the longest minutes in the Charmander's young life. Duke's eyes were tearing up as his eyelids twitched, the Mankey keeping as still as a statue.

"Come on, Duke, just hold out a little longer," Prince begged the fire breather. "There's too much at stake!"

But it was no use, Duke gave into the need and blinked, slapping his paws onto his eyes and rubbing them as he fell over on his back. "No fair…" he groaned.

"It's completely fair," Babe said, her eyes smiling for her unseen mouth as she too rubbed her eyes in relief. "Neither of you could beat me even after five rounds. I won fair and square." Defeated and emasculated, thy groaned but subsided, knowing they were beat. They looked to one another and sighed, holding their paws out to Babe to finalize their bet with the new member of the team.

Ever since Zanas had caught Babe - a very friendly and interesting Mankey - the three had been playing games nonstop. Duke loved every moment of tag, as well as making their grinding sessions a competition. Work had turned into one giant game for him. Prince felt the same. He was enjoying himself far more than before, now that when Zanas was training one of them, there were two left to keep each other company.

Babe - a very calm and open minded Mankey - was the kind of creature to think any and all thoughts out loud, leaving her friends to tilt their heads in confusion due to the absence of context. She was a character, and that made her fit in with the young boy's group even more. She was already level five when they met her, and easily racked up levels. At the moment, she was the most balanced member of the team. Duke was the powerhouse in strength and had a decent defense, while Prince was the speedy one; first to attack and last to be hit, if ever. Babe had good strength and speed, but was greatest in defense, making Zanas's small team fully rounded.

The three lied in the grass, content in looking at the clouds as Babe named off each shape she saw. "There's a Caterpie." She said.

"I say it's a Kangaskhan," Prince objected.

"Then I say you're blind."

"Who are you to talk, no-mouth?"

"Who says I don't have a mouth?"

Babe gave a small giggle, which sounded alien to Prince, as this Mankey seemed too tomboy to giggle in such a cute manner. A long calming silence filled the air, as they continued to stare at the sky. Duke tilted his head in every direction, trying to find the shapes in the clouds. He had never seen any of the Pokémon mentioned so only the shapes of food and his friends came through.

"What do you think clouds taste like?" Babe asked suddenly. Prince began laughing from this remark and looked at the monkey questioningly.

"What made you think of such a weird question?"

"Your remark about my mouth made me think of eating and since were talking about clouds I wondered what they taste like."

"Maybe like ice cream?" Duke chimed in

"Why would you think they taste like ice cream?" Prince mocked

"Maybe that's why the clouds drop snow in winter and water in summer," Zanas added from a distance, "because they're melting." He was walking toward the group holding a few bags of snacks that were cooked especially for Pokémon. The trio quickly rushed to their trainer, Duke yelling out the boy's name in joy at his return. Zanas pet each of them lovingly, Duke especially since he was struggling so desperately to climb into the boys arms, then reached for the treat bags.

He opened each one and dumped the treats into the hands and paws of his team. Prince and Duke gazed at the food with wide eyes and opened their mouths to devour the treats. Just as they were about to shovel the flower-shaped cookies into their, they heard an unsubtle cough from Babe. Duke and Prince both looked at the Mankey and then to each other, groaning as they unwillingly handed over their snacks. She took their snack happily and after a pause returned half of what she had taken, to the surprise of both Pokémon.

"The shame of your defeat is worth half of what you owe me, so I'll be a generous victor." Both charity cases shoveled the food in their mouths. Prince, now fake crying, bowed in front of the white-haired monkey and said, "all hail the generous queen Babe. Thank you for showing us mortals such mercy."

Babe played along with this game, and raised her hand in the air to signal Prince could rise. Zanas was on the ground, laughing so hard that pain shot through his stomach. "Your royal highness, what have you done?! You have forsaken your status so quickly for food?"

Princes swiftly ran up to Zanas's face, his eyes glaring into the boy's, just inches away. "Don't you dare judge me; you would do the same in my position!" A harsh silence grew from the remark, but was soon shoved off by the boy and rat's laughter. Duke looked at the two, having a slower reaction to the joke.

As things died down, the group sat together, commenting on the day thus far and what all was planned; training, eating, then finally leaving the town later at night, when a loud scream made them all jump to their feet. "Sweet Arceus help me!"

"What was that?!" Prince asked as he rushed up to Zanas's shoulder for an elevated look. Duke stayed on all fours, his tail stuck high in the air as his tail flared more intensely, while Babe rushed up the nearest tree. Zanas listened for the screams, and heard aother voice, just as high-pitched only more frustrated and familiar.

"Incoming!" Babe declared, warning that the voices were coming closer, as she jumped from the trees and onto the first figure that burst into sight. Duke and Zanas then followed suit and leapt at the next figures to appear. Prince lost his grasp on Zanas's shoulders and fell off. Zanas and Duke rolled backwards with their respective targets as they landed on top. Letting this eyes focus after spinning wildly on the ground, Zanas realized who exactly he was sitting on top of.

"…Melody?!" Zanas cried his faced blushing immensely. Not again! The girl that Zanas had met days before was once again under his weight, glaring hatefully at him.

"I'm having a strange and horrible case of déjà vu," Melody growled. Zanas gulped and leapt off of Melody, offering his hand to help her on her feet. He desperately apologized over and over as the girl brushed the dirt off of her white skirt, ignoring most of what Zanas said. Before the boy could start to explain exactly why he had jumped her, again, he heard the source of the earlier commotion right behind him. "Please don't eat me! I'm all boney and stringy!"

The boy turned around, and saw a Pidgey with a food bucket over its head, while Babe stood with one foot on the Pokémon's tail, keeping the brown-feathered and white-crested bird grounded. Duke, meanwhile, was now rolling on the ground, playing happily with Melody's Bulbasaur, Summer. Zanas turned to Melody, confusion replacing his sorrowful look, but the girl's face was still hot red with anger - or blush - and her cheeks were puffed out like a Jigglypuff's when angry.

Zanas felt a cold chill down his spine as he laughed nervously. "So…how have you been doing?" The girl didn't answer; she merely glared at the boy, clutching her hands on her short sleeves. Zanas looked around to his team, his eyes begging for help. Only Prince met eyes with the trainer. Prince looked just as confused as Zanas, and far more irritated, having fallen hard to the ground during the tussle.

"What in the Reverse World is going on?!"



"It's not my fault!" Melody screamed through the girl's bathroom in the Poke Center. "I don't want to go into that forest unless I'm prepared."

"Making me wait two hours while you put makeup on is hardly getting prepared. How much are you even putting on in there?"

"None of your business. Besides, you owe me."Melody snapped

"Ya ya, I know."

Melody had calmed down once Zanas had apologized for the hundredth time. She explained that the Pidgey had been taking food from a garbage can behind the mart. She knew that the forest was full of bug type Pokémon and thought catching a flying type would be a smart move. However, she spooked the creature, after missing it with the PokeBall, and sent it on into frenzy, the bucket covering up the creature's vision as it frantically flew around.

She had sent Summer out ahead to chase it down, running all over town before finally being tackled by Zanas. Melody's anger escalated again when she realized the damage to her outfit, which now had tears and and a assortment of greens and browns from the tall grass and mud she had tracked through to follow the Pidgey. She threatened to "Murder that avian bastard," when Zanas gave a proposition.

He convinced her that he would make up for tackling her again by escorting her through the forst, s well as taking the Pidgey off her hands as she no longer cared for the flying-type SHe agreed, and since then, Zanas let his team calm the newer member down while he paied for the girls laundry bills and waited for her.

Melody insisted they return to the center, after having to dirty her outfit chasing the Pidgey. Zanas was in no position to argue and instead followed her inside. The male nurse was nowhere to be found. Zanas assumed he was being forced to work today, so he sat against the wall, and had what appeared to others as a one way conversation with the wooden door next to him.

Zanas sat against the wall, whistling, rocking and people watching until either his team returned with the Pidgey, or Melody was ready to leave. I should already be in Pewter by now damnit. Gary probably already has two badges at this point.

The thought of his friend made Zanas grow still as he began contemplating how far behind he truly was. What if he is already on his third? Or going to his fourth?! Gary has more competition than just me to deal with. Arceus, I am way too far behind!

Zanas jumped to his feet, and pulled an arm back to bang on the restroom door. They needed to get out of this town now! The door swung open just barely missing contact with the boy's head. Zanas's eyes shot open wide as he looked at Melody in her new attire. She had ditched the white hat and simply brought her hair back into a pony tail. Her blue top was now a bright pink tank top that cut off just a little down her chest, a blue jacket hugging her shoulders with long sleeves that stretch down her arms. Her white skirt was replaced with short denim jeans that stretched just above her knees and she now wore black leggings.

"Alright we can go now, mister impatient." Zanas stood in front of Melody, frozen in place as she passed him. She walked over to a pull out a bin on the far side of the center carrying, her hat in her right hand, which she put back on her head, and in her left was her old bag of cloths. She dumped the cloths in the pull out compartment and then talked to one of the nurses. Zanas didn't hear what she was talking about, his eyes glued to the girl's figure that was much more shown through her new outfit.

The boy was so busy staring up and down their girl's back; he didn't feel Prince jump to his shoulder until he whispered in Zanas's ear. "Ooo Zanas baby."

Zanas jumped and slapped the rat off his shoulder, harder than he meant, and sent him flying against the wall. The boy knelt down and picked up his friend. "Sorry!"

Prince was laughing too hard from the reaction the boy gave to say anything, merely waving his paw at the boy. Zanas looked over his shoulder to see Babe and duke smiling and laughing at their trainer's expense along with the Pidgey they had recently recruited. Zanas sighed, knowing he had been caught but thankful it wasn't Melody who had seen him gawking. The boy helped Prince to his shoulder, and then knelt down to the brown-feather bird, petting it lovingly on its head, just behind its neck. The bird cooed and relaxed into Zanas's hands, but still jumped and twitched at the loud sounds of the Center.

"So, what can I call you? Fidget maybe?"

The bird shook its head and flew to the boy's free shoulder. "I-if it's ok with you I'd like to go by my real name, Pepper."

The boy sat back on one of the rows of seats nearest to him, continuing to pet the bird Pokémon. The voice was soft and hard to hear over the talking and shouting around them, but it was easy to tell that Pepper's voice was feminine. "I hope these guys explained where we are going?"

Pepper nodded, looking down from where she was perched. Zanas smiled and saw that the bird was still hesitant in her choice. "You don't have to come with us. I'd never want to force anyone to do something they don't want."

"But I do!" She suddenly blurted, taking Zanas and Prince aback. Duke looked wide-eyed and confused between the bird and Zanas, while Babe let her gaze trail off, saying something about the addiction to yellow tiles in the building.

Pepper blushed, to Zanas's surprise, not used to anything other than a purple rodent grow red, and shook her head frustrated. "I do want to go on this journey. I'm just a little scared…and confused."

"Confused about what?" Prince blurted. "You'll have me and Duke on your team so there is no worry about getting hurt" Prince shifted his gaze to Babe, who was still preoccupied with her own thoughts and rushed over the boy's arms to the bird and whispered, "But be careful about the Mankey. She's a crafty one."

"I can still hear you, rodent." Babe said, not turning to face any of her team mates.

Pepper froze in fear, Prince in mock fear, both looking to one another as he weakly smiled. "See what I mean?"

Zanas poked the Rattata in the gut, making him fall over onto the cushion. "Don't mind him, he's eccentric." Pepper giggled, covering her beak with her wing. Zanas let her down and pet behind her neck again. "I can promise you that nothing bad will happen to you while you're with us. Not if I can help it."

Duke jumped up to the cushion and patted pepper one the back. "You're a part of the world's greatest Pokémon team. No way we could lose."

"Ok…" she smiled weakly, then brightly back at her team, her fears seeming to subside for the moment.

Last edited by BigO2233; January 22nd, 2013 at 12:08 PM.
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  #9    
Old January 22nd, 2013, 12:10 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
have made a recent edit to the latest chapter to do continuity errors.

Last edited by BigO2233; March 10th, 2013 at 05:15 PM.
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  #10    
Old January 29th, 2013, 02:52 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
Bugging Out: Part 1
Spoiler:
"Ah!" Pepper and Melody screamed, as another Weedle crawled closer to them from behind. Pepper franticly flapped her wings, causing a small twist of air to pick up the Weedle, along with two other insect types, away and send them soaring through the tops of the trees.
"And that makes a clean twenty bugs that we've successfully launched into the atmosphere," Prince quipped. Ever since Zanas, Melody, and their respective Pokémon entered the Viridian forest, she and Pepper had done nothing but act paranoid and scream at every bush or patch of grass that twitched in the breeze.


It was starting to get on the boy's nerves, how often the two would carry on their rants about bugs and being creeped on from behind, but Zanas couldn't complain due to Pepper's win ratio thus far. She started at such a low level but now she was almost matched with Duke and the other two, and all they were fighting were wild Weedles and Caterpies. Even so.


"How much longer until we get out of this damned forest of death?!" Melody screamed openly to the sky. Zanas wasn't sure if this was a question directed toward him, or anyone in particular.
"We haven't even been here for an hour yet and you've already screamed your lungs out over twenty times." Zanas said, sharply. "How have you not suffered a heart attack by now?"
"Good cardio and I never go outside of a town or city unless it's totally necessary!" She snapped back.


"She really picked the wrong profession if she didn't want to travel into the wilds." Babe said plainly.


Zanas and Prince snickered at this. Melody, getting flustered, turned bright red again. I'm getting more used to that face than her usual one. Zanas thought, and almost said aloud to his Pokémon.


"You said you would escort me out of this forest and quickly as safely as possible," Melody barked, jabbing her finger into Zanas's chest.


"And I will." Zanas grabbed Melody's hand as she jabbed her finger at him, and threw it to the side with little resistance. "But we can't just run through here blindly. This place is like a maze if you're not paying attention to where you're going, so we need to keep calm and walk." Zanas emphasized the word 'calm' as he poked Melody's forehead, pushing her back a bit.


Melody puffed her cheeks and crossed her arms, turning on her heels and marching forward, too angry to be scared anymore, or at least that's what Zanas hoped. The forest was exactly like any other; long, winding and full of trees that all looked the same. There were a few paths between the numerous hundred year giants, but some paths stretched into dead ends, or worked as long ways around shorter routes. The forest was like a kindergarten corn maze; simple and easy to navigate, but long and tiresome to track through.


As they walked on, Pepper flew to the boy's shoulder, panting hard and shaking and shivering worse than Whismur, a pink bunny looking Pokémon that was prone to vibrate and make murmuring noises when at its most calm.


"You doing alright Pep?" Zanas asked as he reached to pet her.


The Pidgey nodded as his hand ran down her head to her back, calming her down a bit but not enough to make her stop shaking. "They're….they're everywhere. They just don't stop…."
Prince laughed openly about this and climbed up his trainer's pant leg to the other shoulder. "To be fair, Twitchy, most were just offering to show us the way out."


"I know, but," Pepper peeped as she pulled from Zanas's hand. "…they just keep sneaking up behind me and those Weedles have those large poisonous stingers on their heads and those freaky Caterpie's with their large soulless eyes…like a doll's eyes!"


Zanas turned his gaze to Pepper, Duke turning with him. "You want to switch out with the others for a bit? Just to relax?" Pepper nodded, smiling lightly. As much of a surprise powerhouse this little bird was, she still needed to take breaks here and there or else she would pass out from exhaustion, whether from fighting or screaming.


"What's a doll?" Duke asked, clinging to Zanas's pant leg. The trainer picked up the youngest of his team and placed him on top of his fedora, petting the lizard as it gleefully rolled into the indentation of the hat.


"It's a soft little look alike of people or Pokémon," Zanas explained. "Most of the time they are cute and cuddly. Like you."


Duke beamed a smile and hugged the top of Zanas's hat. "So why do you think they are creepy, Pepper?"


The Pidgey looked to Duke, her eyes wide with fear as she recalled what a doll looked like. "Because they have large black empty eyes that just stare at you endlessly, never moving or blinking!"


Duke frowned and crawled forward to look at Zanas. "Does that make me creepy? "
Prince snickered at the desperation in the Charmander's voice. "Kid, the only thing you could scare is a bug or grass type and even that is pushing it."


Zanas resisted the urge to knock some sense into Prince since this half insult half compliment seemed to cheer Duke back up.


"Hey guys?" Babe tugged on Zanas's pant leg. "I hate to break up the cute character moment with you all, but where did the Melody go?"


An answer came in the form of a loud, ear-splitting scream to the north. Babe scampered to the nearest tree and leaped from branch to branch, leaping from branch to branch, as Zanas followed closely behind, kicking up pieces of grass and dirt as he sprinted hard toward the source of the screaming. Pepper, Duke and Prince all clutched to Zanas's clothing, Pepper screaming as the boy picked up speed.


When they found her, Zanas skid to a halt, kneeling next to Melody, who seemed to have been knocked backward, and looked in shock.


"What happened? Why did you scream?" Zanas turned to see a boy, not much older looking than ten, wearing shorts, a white t-shirt, sandals and a straw hat and holding a large bug catcher net.
"So….does that mean I win?"








"If those kids didn't have betting money from the battles, they wouldn't have been worth the trouble," Zanas grunted, as he and his team limped lazily toward the forest exit.


"Too exhausted…for witty comeback," Prince gasped between breaths as he let his body rest limply, like a wet towel on his trainer's shoulder. Duke was just as exhausted, weakly sprawled on top of Zanas's hat, panting heavily as he looked toward the sky.


"I don't like bugs. They are annoying and stupid," The fire lizard wheezed. Even Pepper was exhausted, though she had screamed herself into her stupor. She laid in Zanas's arms, wings open and dead looking, her eyes wide open and staring, just like the dolls she hates.


"If I never see a bug type Pokémon it will be too soon," The white monkey griped for the first time since meeting Zanas. "I almost feel like head butting a tree for entertainment."


"That would give you even more of a headache," Duke moaned


Zanas huffed out a laugh. "Speaking of headaches, Melody hurry your ass up!"


"Excuse me!" the girl said as if not comprehending what Zanas said, which was possible as she too was panting, limping behind the boy and his team. "That is not how you talk to a lady."
Zanas lazily turned his gaze to the Melody, attempting to glower at her but just gave her a look that, if she had noticed, would have confused her. "Maybe not but it IS how I talk to ear-splitting harpy, like yourself."


Melody had been spooked when she ran into the bug catcher boy, who, in her words, assaulted her with a Caterpie, a green skinned and yellow -bellied segmented worm Pokémon with a red y-shaped horn on its head. When she screamed, she doubled over and started kicking wildly in the air trying to fling the insect off of her leg.


The boy then screamed, yelling that she was trying to hurt his Caterpie and the entire argument escalated from there, until the boy's brothers rushed to the youngest sibling's rescue. The fights weren't difficult for Zanas or his team to handle, Babe staying back and letting Duke and Pepper deal most of the damage while Prince ran circles around every worm and cocoon Pokémon thrown at them. The catchers never stood a chance; however these battles did last longer than necessary, what with the cocoon creatures, Metapod, a green-shelled evolved form of Caterpie, and Kakuna, the yellow-shelled evolution to Weedle, all used their harden ability to make them more and more difficult to knock out.


After giving Zanas his winnings, the handful of brothers ran off, all crying over how they ever could have lost to such a jerk. Even the eldest, who looked about sixteen, was crying.


After all the chaos, and more hiking, the group had reached a building intersection that jutted out from the north of the forest, or north compared to the boy's line of vision. This building was the only thing separating the forest from the city ahead, Pewter, and the only place to rest for the night under a cool roof. What should have been a two day trip through the woods, had been jumped to a six hour run, thanks to the events that had taken place, but in a way Zanas was much more grateful. After over staying his welcome in Viridian City, he felt like he had made up for the lost time with all the running, and sooner than later he would have his very first badge.
Zanas pictures his first victory as a professional trainer. His first real gym battle would be a complete success.



His imagination was let free, with a parade and cute girls and all, until he hit a soft feminine wall. Zanas leaned to the side, as did his Pokémon as they looked to see why exactly Melody had stopped. Sure enough, it was because of another bug. A Metapod, just sitting, or standing depending on the person, in the way of air conditioning soft couches and food.


"You want me to take care of this, or you going to stand here for a while." Zanas said, poking the girl's side and making her jump to the right and slap his hand.


"Just!...just take care of this." She sighed, folding her arms around herself as she continued to watch the Pokémon.


Zanas rolled his eyes, wondering where her previous blood lust for Pokémon had gone. He walked to the Metapod, his team jumping down from their trainers frame and followed close behind. As Zanas neared the green shell Pokémon, he knelt down and locked eyes with the creatures. It looked like every other Metapod he had faced today. A hard green shell that was bent to make the face of the creature, or where a face would be, push forward, with large black eyes that, unlike Peppers description, were very much full of life and at the top of the shell was two sharp edges poking out in a v shape with a large dull point in between, shooting foreword to the sky.


"So," Zanas began, not attempting to hide his exhaustion. "Let me make this clear. I, and my friends are tired, and you are horribly low leveled compared to them.


"I can see that." The Metapod spoke, to Zanas's amazement. He never thought to get an answer out of the living shell, or at least nothing audible. The voice was deep and the accent sounded very Irish. The creature's words rolled and emphasized more on the "I" and "eh" sound more than anything. I'm way too tired to question why. Zanas thought


"So…if we agree on that, then I can assume we can agree that neither of us is up for a fight, correct?"


The Metapod looked away for a moment as if it were thinking intently about what Zanas had said, but answered just as quickly as before. "Aye, I would prefer to avoid trouble."
Zanas smiled, already liking this Metapod; so easy to convince and rationalize with. "So here's the deal. If you move….or allow me to put you to the side, I won't have to do anything rash and exert myself and you won't…"


"Be flung into the far reaches of the unknown?" The Metapod finished Zanas's sentence, making sound like less of a question and more of a fact.


"Exactly. So how about it? No trouble?"


Again the Metapod looked to its side, now taking a moment to contemplate what was said. Its eyes, like babes, shimmered and smiled for its lack of mouth. "Agreed."


"Awesome" Zanas reached to pick up the Metapod, thankful to avoid another fight he didn't want.
"On!...one condition."


Zanas froze still and glared hatefully at the bug Pokémon. The two locked eyes, staring each other down, neither about to move or blink.


"What?" Zanas asked, with bile.


"You take me with you"


"Why would we want to bring a statue with us?" Prince asked, jumping from Zanas's back to behind the Pokémon. He lightly pushed the shell over, it wiggling desperately to keep still but ultimately failing and falling face first.


"Your right bastard!" It screamed, struggling desperately to sit back up again.


"He does have a point." Babe interjected as she walked over and sat the insect back up. "You have no attacks other than harden correct? That isn't exactly a skill we need for this team."


"Besides I'm sick of bugs." Duke whines. "You are all mean and annoying.


"That right there is racism" the Metapod said in an "as a matter of fact" tone.


"What's that?" Duke asked, tilting his head.


The Metapod looked dumbly at the Charmander, as Babe sighed, her eyes smiling at Dukes cuteness, while Prince snickered at the newborn's naiveté.


Zanas knelt back down to pet Duke. "I'll explain that later. In the mean time." Zanas looked to the Metapod questionably. "Why do you want to come with us?"


The Metapod's eyes grew wide in shock, then in anger. "Are you daft boyo? All I've ever known, ever seen is this bloody forest. I've grown quite tired of this place. Even when I was just a wee Caterpie all I ever wanted was to travel the globe? But I was a bloody worm! No one wanted me. So I decided to make myself evolve and grow strong enough to either leave on my own or for some daft human, like yourself, to bring me along."


Zanas took offense to the "daft" comment but decided to let it slide, motioning the Pokémon to hurry up.


"Meh point is that I want to get the hell out of this place!"


Duke covered his mouth and chuckled. "He said a bad word...right?"


Everyone but the Metapod found this worth laughing for, and instead shouted multiple swears, to the horror of the others.


"Hey, hey, relax." Zanas said, as he placed a hand on the irate creature. "I get the need to want to leave, but you're still not making a case for yourself. I need a strong team, a balanced team." Zanas looked to the squad already amassed, showing themselves off to further the point. Zanas looked back to the Metapod, with the most serious face he could muster. 'What do you offer?"
The Metapod blankly stared at the trainer, as if the question asked was so simple it insulted the creature's inelegance.


"I evolve into a psychic type. And I'll have bug type moves that are effective against water and grass types."
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  #11    
Old March 10th, 2013, 05:19 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
Back for now but story may remain on Hiatus.


Chapter 6: Feels: Part 2
Spoiler:
The inside of the intersection building looked more like a hotel lobby, and a fancy one at that. The building was long in length, with bright tan tiled floors, dark pink walls with flat screens spaced every five feet away from each other and an upstairs which was made up of guest rooms and large windows that let you see the entirety of the forest from a higher view.

After checking into the building and finding a room to stay, Melody rushed quickly off to bed, shivering as she thought about how filthy she and her clothes were. Not to mention she wasn't especially happy that Zanas had brought a bug Pokémon with him, but since she was in civilization again, she didn't complain. Zanas checked into his room, letting the team sleep in the bed, on the fan blades and even in the bath tub. He made the team promise to stay inside the room, or to come to the lobby if they needed him for anything.

"Don't wonder off. I don't want to spend the entire morning looking for you guys."

They all exchanged smart remarks to one another as their way of saying good night and Zanas returned to the lobby letting, himself take the breath he had been resisting for so long. His hands shook intensely and his walk was now more of a jerky robotic limp. Ever since he had easily brushed off those Bug-Catcher brothers in the forest he had felt so antsy. No not antsy, irritated. Zanas had been feeling this intense urge to run or maybe scream, he couldn't tell, and it wasn't letting up like last time.

Not wanting to just randomly scream at the ceiling, he returned to the lobby and sat on one of the red velvet seats in front of the flat screen, and turned the volume up slightly to hear the news. Usually he didn't care to watch or read anything within the world of recent events, but at the moment a pay per view Pokémon battle was out of the question financially and the TV didn't have that many channels besides basic cable. Local school awards, a couple of robberies here and there, but nothing really seemed worth listening to. Zanas just zoned out, bawling his fists up in his sleeves as the intense feeling continued to rush through him.

I just need to relax. He thought. Switch the channel to something… sleep inducing.

He moved to the side of the TV, franticly pushing at the channel button until landing on a documentary channel. If anything was going to help him sleep, it would be the power of learning. The show playing was about the intelligence of Pokémon in modern society and how humans need to adapt to the change. Zanas spent hours watching the show, surprised at the direction it was taking and finding the hosts fairly entertaining. Eventually the program came to an end, but Zanas was not a bit sleepy although his shaking had lessened to a more bearable twitch.

"You still up?" Zanas turned to see Melody, now changed into a white top with a winking Mudkip and text under it saying, "Like's Mudkips," and pink pajamas with Jiggly puff faces all over.

Zanas smiled at the amusing attire, or maybe the nervousness from his twitching, and shrugged.

"Just a little insomnia I guess. You?" Melody sat next to Zanas, who moved over to make room on the small seat, and adjusted her pajama bottoms.

"Pretty much the same. I never could fall asleep very early. I just toss and turn and get fed up after a while." She stretched as if to prove how uncomfortable she was before coming down stairs, her chest pushed forward and her hips pushing back. Melody was definitely a pretty girl, but even this slight flash of body couldn't distract Zanas, who was now kicking his heel off the ground.

"What were you watching?" She asked as she released her stretch.

"Um… a documentary about a theory on Pokémon intelligence."

"For or against?"

"What?" Zanas turned to face the girl, shooting a puzzled look. Melody moved to speak but instead yawned.

"Was… ahhhhhhhwn… was it for or against the theory."

"Um… mostly it was for it. A lot of the scientists and specialist were promoting more equal treatment of Pokémon since they can be taught and comprehend more complex thoughts that most people give them credit for."

"Like your Rattata for example?" Melody teased. Zanas gave a loud "Ha!" and shook his head.

"Prince has a fairly predictable thought pattern once you spend some time with him," Zanas chuckled as he started to count down with his fingers. "Eat, sleep, fail at impressing the opposite sex and then eat again. Oh and less I forget, smart mouthing his trainer. He has been excelling at that lately."

"Like Trainer like Pokémon. You two seem like the perfect pair."

Zanas laughed at the remark. "I hope you're not implying anything with that."

Melody took in a quick breath, acting shocked at Zanas's assumption. "I, unlike certain people, do not think about such things."

"In public." Zanas finished the girls sentence.

"Bite me fedora boy."

The two talked for the next hour, laughing at some of the conversations that Zanas held with his team prior to the events in the forest. As time passed, Zanas was taken aback at how easy it was to talk to Melody. She wasn't like other girls back in Pallet town. She was attractive sure, but she was very down to earth as well. Heck this felt almost as comfortable as talking to Gary, only with less arm punching, which usually led to face punching. I just realized how weird I am around that guy.

"So," Melody began, interrupting Zanas's thoughts. "Why Pokémon?"

Zanas tilted his head, not registering the question asked. "Can you clarify that?"

Melody giggled, in a way that made Zanas blush but smile at the same time. "How are you able to speak to Pokémon and why do you all the time. I mean, I've only seen you talk to a selective amount of people, and you never do phone calls or anything"

Zanas sat up from being hunched over and let out a sigh, his expression shifting to a sign of impatience. Melody picked up on the mood shift and waved her open palms in front of herself. "N-never mind. That might have been too personal."

Zanas shook his head and waved her off. "A little but it's no big deal." Zanas cracked his back, feeling the need after sitting curled up on the long sofa for so long. "To start, ever since I first learned to talk I've been able to communicate with Pokémon. It was faint at first. I could only hear or rather understand the words I had already learned so some times when a Pidgey chirped at me that was all I heard." Melody listened in closely, now hunching over like Zanas was before, entertained with this inner character depth of the strange Kanto born boy.

"As I got older I was able to understand Pokémon better and talk to them like I would other people only much more... enjoyable."

"How so?"

Zanas rolled his eyes but kept from groaning. "Now you're starting to hit the hard stuff."

Melody grit her teeth, taking the remark too hard and pouting. "Well excuse me for taking an interest in your life jerk."

Zanas moved to bark something back at her, but he knew he was out of line. He didn't have to say that the way he did nor was the eye motion necessary. A brief silenced lingered before anyone said anymore, but before it could take a seat with them, Zanas continued his verbal biography.

"While growing up, I tried to make friends with other kids by promising I could speak with Pokémon and let them know what their pets really thought of them. Sometimes they were impressed, other times skeptical, and depending on what the pet told me sometimes they got violent. Those who believed that I actually had this 'gift' labeled me a freak and those who didn't called me a liar and blamed me when their Pokémon retaliated against them." Zanas grit his teeth, his fists clenching as his body started to shake all over again, only not like before.

"It got worse as I got older. Soon money was a big factor in my 'popularity'. So much so that some of the kids would start rumors with no fact or even logic behind them just to bug me. So eventually I just fought back, but instead of words I used my hands, and occasionally my knees." Zanas chuckled at a memory of kneeing a kid right in the crotch, dropping him like a Geodude. "And for once I felt strong, I felt like I didn't have to hide behind anything. Go ahead let them talk crap about me, let them think I'm a freak. I would make them too scared to say anything to my face let alone actually do anything to me. Then I could just enjoy the company of my real friends."

As Zanas spoke, he would turn his gaze back and forth between the upper wall and to Melody, watching her change her expression each time he looked back at her, from curiosity to what he would assume was pity. It ate at him, more than he should have allowed but still. His expression didn't hide his irritation either. Melody quickly grew nervous again and broke eye contact with the boy, afraid to even turn to his general direction again.

"Sorry," Melody said, taking Zanas by surprise. "I didn't mean to get you so riled up."

Zanas sighed but chuckled as well. "Actually… I feel a lot better. I haven't talked about those days since before Gary and I left town so… I appreciate your curiosity, as annoying as it is." Zanas's smile returned with vigor, parting his lips to reveal his teeth. Either from how goofy Zanas looked, or how forced his smile may have seemed, Melody giggled then laughed at this, hitting the boys shoulder with an open palm.

"Never make that face again. Hahaha."

Zanas reverted his lips to a grin but was no less amused with the conversation. "Don't be making fun of how I smile. I can't be blamed for genetics."

"Sure, act like a stereotypical teen and just blame your parents." Zanas smiled brightly again, turning his pitch higher and mimicking the voice of a typical sitcom teenage girl, making Melody laugh longer and harder. Her laugh was must have been embarrassing for her, because each time she would laugh she would almost gasp for air between each chuckle while covering her mouth with one of her hands. This girl was growing cuter each moment Zanas talked to her, but it was more than that. She was friendly and patient. She was an actually person, a face he could recognize as to having some actually worth to her. So why is she so interested in me?

Zanas voiced this thought, only more subtle, asking why she cared to know more about his ability and past.

"Seriously?" She questioned "You can literally communicate with the most useful and friendly creatures on this planet as if they were people. Heck, every Pokémon that comes into a two mile radius of you practically becomes your best friend."

"Your point?" Zanas asked, raising his brow.

Melody shook her head in disbelief. "I'd give up everything I owned to do what you could do."

"Your completely serious right now aren't you?" Zanas looked at Melody with disbelief. Her expression gave no sign of sarcasm, nor any hint of lying. Zanas began to chuckle, then below with laughter. He laughed harder and harder until his throat clenched from the lack of air, and forced him to cough. Melody reached a hand out to help but Zanas waved her off, still laughing between coughs.

"What the heck was that about?" She giggled.

Zanas was still chuckling slightly as he gained his breath and coughed lightly.

"It's…just different."

"What's different?"

Before Zanas could answer, or avoid answering on his own, one of the guards working in the building made his presence known by his loud footsteps and his hate filled eyes, which were locked on Zanas. The guard lifted Zanas from his seat by his shirt collar, which was impressive as he was only a foot taller than the trainer. Melody squeaked with surprise, maybe expecting the guard to deck Zanas, but the boy simply blinked and nervously smiled as he spoke up.

The man was dressed in the usual officer blue outfit, with badges, sashes and the crown pointed hat that Zanas always wondered whether if it was part of the uniform or just for the cop's ego. He was built bulkier than your usual guard but he looked just as angry as any other blue boy.

"Problem officer?"

The guard didn't say anything, he just pointed toward the stairs as he let Zanas down. Both trainers peeked behind the large man, to see Prince, Babe and Duke all being held up by their tales by other officers. Zanas, now actually feeling guilty, smiled nervously to the officer once again, who merely picked him up and carried him away from Melody. Zanas desperately tried to turn and wav goodbye to the girl, his big silly grin on his face still as he called out to her.

"Still wish you could do what I can?"
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  #12    
Old May 8th, 2013, 03:43 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
edited: 5/13/13

Part one due to writers block

Chapter 7: Busted: Part 1
Spoiler:
"..H-hello?"

"Yes, it's me….I'm Fine…just a little sleepy.

"No, no I just…Oh Ha Ha!"

"I was just talking to a friend from Pallet Town."

"Yeah, he helped me get past the forest, exhausted but alive."

"So what's new with you?"

The conversation would continue like this for a good half hour.

"How is he?...no…n…no Haley, you know I…ok…as long as he's getting rest."

"…They want to know where I am? Thats a laugh."

She laughs into the phone for good measure. Haley chuckles and teases her for being a poor human being

"…Thanks Hales…for everything…I will…I just want take in a few more sites before I get back…no…"

She giggles through the phone

"Yes, I'll introduce you to her when I get to Cerulean…tell grandpa the usual…and that he was right."

"It may not be all fun and games…but I'm enjoying myself."



Pewter City

"Breakfast! Nnnnnnnnow!" Duke demanded as he jumped up and down on Zanas' stomach like a cheap bounce house. Zanas shot up from the Poke Center bed, sending Duke rolling to the foot of the bed.

"Geeze Duke, you could have just shook me a little to wake me up." Zanas groaned as he swung his feet out of the covers and onto the cool yellow-tiled floors.

Duke simply smiled and crawled over to his trainer, nuzzling his head into the boy's hand.

"I did, but you didn't wake up, and then I poked your tummy and it felt all squishy and bouncy."

Zanas glared at Duke,rubbing his stomach

"If you ever make a joke about my weight again I'll starve you fora day."

Duke made a small squeak of fear at the threat. He pouted and his eyes grew as wide as a new born's could and filled with tears teary-eyed. Zanas paid the lizard no mind, unsure if those tears were real or if Prince had been giving him acting lessons. He threw on a new shirt, his jacket, fedora and backpack while Duke cautiously crawled up to his usual perch on the boy's head.

Zanas walked toward the bathroom door, his vision blurred from the usual morning dry eyes, leading Zanas to stub his shoeless toe into the open door frame. He jumped in pain, but bit his lips to keep from cursing in front of Duke, who was desperatly holding onto the boy's hat as he jumped.

"Are you ok buddy?" Duke asked concerned.

Zanas looked up at the peering Charmander, and forced a smile. "It's...just one of THOSE days."

Duke title his head in confusion, but kept his query to himself, afraid of being yelled out for questioning his trainer. Zanas pet Duke without looking up to him, reassuring the baby that he didn't do anything wrong. Duke happily accepted this petting and nuzzled the boy's hand while Zanas picked up a small purse like bag from sink counter,minus the shoulder strap.

He unzipped the bag, reaching and flipping on the light switch to the dimly lit room, being flashed with bright light which subsided quickly to reveal a simple one shower, one toilet and sink restroom.

The sink had a small cabinet connected to it to hide the pipe's and hold any soaps and towels the trainer's would need. It also had a head-to-chest lengthened mirror just above it, though unlike the one at home, this wasn't simply nailed into the wall. Rather it was purposefully fit into the wall by design. The floor was the same cold yellow tiled floor as the rest of the rooms, still looking just as old but just as cleanly kept as the rest of the Center. The toilet and shower we simply that, only the shower had a very tasteless yellow flower designed curtain to go with it.

Now that he could see his surroundings, Zanas peered back into the black bag, pulling out a plastic contact's case, one end with a green top and one with a white to signify the right and left contacts. Zanas unscrewed each lid, using one hand to hold the container still.

Duke watched as his trainer cover his bright white iris eyes with the very dark green colored lenses through the mirror, titling his head in even more confusion. Zanas flinched and rubbed his strained eyes from the sting of the contacts, but recovered with only slight irritation from both lenses. He looked himself in the mirror, his reflections starring back at him lazily.

Duke moved in front of Zanas' sight, his orange eyes just as wide as ever. "That looks like it hurts."

Zanas smiled at lizard, petting along his back, mostly to keep a grip on him from falling.

"I'm used to it. It;s a necessary evil."

"But why is it necessary? Evil shouldn't be necessary."

Zanas just laughed at Duke's naive understanding, though not mockingly.

"You are right, it shouldn't be...but sometimes people prefer seeing one thing over another...or in this case letting other people see one thing."

"Is it bad to have eye's like that?"

"Most people would think so."

"But why?"

Zanas sighed, his annoyance picked up by the small fire spitter. "S-sorry...I'll stop."

Zanas, picked Duke up from his hat, siting him on the sink so he wouldn't have to struggle to get to the creature's eye level.

"Duke..." Zanas started to speak, but stopped. He couldn't lie to his own partner...no more than he could lie to Melody. "I can explain why...but I don;t really want to. It;s not that it's wrong to have these eyes, but people...just hold petty grudges and...I just look a lot like a criminal."

Duke whimpered sympathetically and placed his paws on the boy's cheeks. "You don;t look that bad. Your not ugly enough to be a criminal"

Zanas laughed again at Duke's sincere attempts to cheer him up. "I know I don't look ugly you smart mouth...I just look like someone who did something bad a long time ago, and as long as my eyes stay hidden then most people wont make the connection. I guess you could say it;s the ultimate game of Hide and Seek."

Duke smiled Brightly at this and began bouncing on his clawed feet. "Can I play!"

"Sure sure...but you have to keep the game a secret.Don't talk to anyone else about it ok?"

Duke tilted his head again, putting a finger up to his ,mouth. "Not even Prince?" <i> is he doing this on purpose?</i> Zanas thought

He nodded and patted the creature's head, putting him back on his hat and handing him the contacts bag after putting the case back in one of the pouches.

"Put this in the lower left Pocket of my pack Duke." The Pokemon nodded and obliged his owner's request

"...and remember."

Duke suddenly put his hands over Zans's mouth, having easily crawled around his body after slipping the bag inside the pack. "Don't tell anyone."He whispered.

Zanas pet the lizard approvingly and continued out the door, only looking back to check if he had all of his things. With all of his gear packed, and the "game"established, Zanas and Duke made there way downstairs to meet with the others.



Since getting thrown out of the building that led out of the Viridian Forest, the team had spent the rest of the night, and most of the next day in the Pewter City center.

When Zanas came down to pick up his team, he was pleasantly surprised to see that nothing had been broken, burnt or thrown through a wall like the night before.

Other than Hector screaming at the Nurses to pay attention to him, everyone was calm and appeared bored. When his team saw their trainer, they all rushed to hop onto a different part of his body; Babe and Pepper took a shoulder each, Prince hopped into a jacket pocket, and Hector claimed Zanas' hand. Zanas staggered for the first few steps, but he got used to the weight quickly and casually walked toward the waiting room just left to back room. The Nurses and some of the human patients giggled at Zanas as he pushed past the automatic sliding doors, the elder ones whispering and smiling behind cuffed hands while the younger kids pointed and loudly asked their parents "What Pokemon are those?"

"What's so funny?" Zanas openly asked, his team shrugging or ignoring him in response.

"Well, wouldn't you find it funny to see a perch walking around?" A familiar, yet oddly new voice stated.

Zanas turned to see a Young man in a white overcoat/lab coat, not much older than himself, with dark blue hair sitting at the receptionist's desk. Zanas' eyes grew wide as he took in exactly what he was seeing.

"You going to keep staring at me,or maybe you'd like to strike a triumphant pose with that Metapod?" the slim man quipped.

"Sorry, you just look...oddly like someone I know." Zanas said, hesitant to make his assumption out loud.

"Of course you would," The man sighed, clenching his eyes shut in irritation. "You met my brother over in Viridian?"

Finally Zanas figured out why the man looked so familiar., Although this sibling seemed far more sullen, and had a different hair style, he was the mirror image of the male nurse in Viridian City. The Pokémon had noticed this as well, all but Hector, and looked with gaped jaws at the brother.

"If you start drooling I'm going to kick your ass." He growled.

Zanas jumped a little, taken aback by the sudden inhuman noise, while the Pokemon chirped and growled back, unconvincingly trying to hide their sudden fear of this man-beast. "S-sorry...it's just..."

The man sneered a grin, obviously pleased with startling Zanas and the team.

"Relax, I'm just screwing with you." The man, leaned back in his chair, playing with one of the many pencils from desk in his hands. "My parents labeled me Eddy." He said, answering the question that hadn't been asked aloud.

Zanas lifted an eyebrow at this name, while Prince just snickered. Before the rodent could make a comment, Zanas placed his hand over the pocket Prince took refuge in.

Eddy saw this and looked between the pair questionably.

"It...doesn't really suit you." Zanas commented.

This made Eddy smile, as he leaned forward and bounced the pencil skillfully off the table and into a small cup holding similar pencils. The team and their trainer watched, entertained and surprised by the casual skill of the shot.

"I feel the exact same, but at the same time I feel that UN-suitedness suits me quite well."

Duke and Pepper simultaneously tilted their heads in confusion, but Zanas merely chuckled.

"What? Did I say something...funny?" The way Eddy talked, he sounded suddenly more offended even though his monotone never fully broke. The group took aback again at the sudden mood shift, feeling more uneasy the longer they talked with Eddy.

"No I...just appreciate the irony of that statement."

Eddy leaned back in his chair, picking up another pencil and spreading his hands apart, inviting Zanas to explain his reasoning. He caught this, moistened his lips to talk, it had gone dry from nerves.

"You say the name doesn't fit, but you prefer it not fitting because it belongs to a person who simply doesn't fit."

Eddy jumped to his feet with a wide grin now stretched on his face.

"With what?! Society? the world in general? This hospital?!"

Zanas leaned back from how close Eddy was to him and nervously smiled.

"T-take your pick?"

"But I'm asking you to."

Zanas looked at his surroundings, surprised that no one was staring at the young trainer awkwardly leaning away from the blue-haired man.

"...I...Well you could argue all three." Eddy's smile shriveled to a flat line between his lips as he waited for further explanation.

Zanas muttered to himself for a moment as the nurse sat back down, allowing Zanas to stand more comfortably while he thought of what to say. A couple of minutes passed as silence awkwardly planted itself between the two, both waiting for any kind of answer to present itself.

"Well," Zanas started. "You...obviously have the blue hair, so you don't look like your brother...so you can stand out more on your own...um...you don't look exactly like the healing type... yet...you work in a hospital...and your name is more cheery-sounding than your...appearance would suggest."

"Yet people continue to mistake me for my brother, I'm one of the best nurses in the region and my mother has told me I am quite the charismatic fellow."

Prince and Babe shared a good laugh at this statement, Zanas unsure what exactly had been so funny, the awkward replay from him or the Nurse's rebuttal.

Zanas grit his teeth, blushing slightly at the teasing and growing more annoyed with Eddy.

"So the lesson here is: don't judge a book by it's cover, right? Nothing is ever as it seems?"

Eddy again smiled, this time flicking the pencil at Zanas' forehead, bouncing it off the trainer's face and into the cup. The team all looked at the cup in shock and amusement, Duke and Prince applauding Eddy for the shot.

"Smarter than I gave you credit for," Eddy said with such a flat delivery, Zanas couldn't tell whether he was sincere or sarcastic. "...but...not smart enough to work solo, are you?"

Eddy slouched over his desk as he reached through the cabinets nearest to his feet. Before long he pulled out a file with few papers inside and spread them out on his desk. At first, all Zanas saw were lines of text until he saw a picture of himself. It was the same picture from his I.D. Card.

"Pallet Town...born in Johto...starter was a Charmander..." The nurse tilted his head to the side to see Duke stretching and snuggling his face into his trainer. Zanas looked back at Duke, then to the nurse, who seemed disappointed, or maybe just unimpressed. The nurse continued looking at the papers.

"And after a few days from when you got your license, as well as getting through the forest, we find you here in Pewter."

The nurse stared at Zanas as if waiting for him to speak, the boy averting his eyes, side to side in confusion. "Ya...thats me..."

"Annnnd?" The nurse questioned, motioning for Zanas to add more.

"And what?" Zanas questioned back, his tone more annoyed then curious.

The nurse rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair.

"How much did Oak influence your admission into the league?"

The question felt more like a threat to Zanas. He looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was still watching or had heard. Most were still just chuckling about seeing a walking scratching post for animals to cling to. Zanas returned his gaze to the nurse, who was twiddling a mechanical pencil in his hands, still looking up at the trainer but now with that arrogant sneer even wider than before.

Zanas shrugged nervously, shaking both Babe and Pepper on his shoulders and spoke as calmly as he could.

"What do you mean?"

Eddy made a groan in the back of his throat, leaning forward and tapping one of the papers on his desk.

"These are the only files left that remotely deal with your admission to the League. The twenty or so sheets were full of copy and pasted Tauros crap about where you came from and Oak's personal recommendation."

Zanas grit his teeth, but kept his voice calm, his team now looking more confused than angry.

"So Oak talked a little. Most trainers get some kind of third party to speak for them."

"True, but most don't go out of their way to write half a file's worth of a recommendation." Eddy's grin just wiped over his face, growing wider while his eyes pierced into Zanas', as if seeing the anger and fear building in him. "Your file was also...less public than it should have been."

Zanas shrugged again, this time more naturally, keeping his eyes focused on anything but Eddy's face. "They put me at the bottom of the pile. Makes sense to do that to a no-name from such a small town." His tie. Zanas just kept his eye focused on the nurse's tie under the lab coat.

"Since the war, no one from Pallet Town goes unnoticed." Eddy picked up the photo of Zanas and compared it to the real one.

"You look so...uneasy...why don't you just put on that big grin you had when you took this photo?" Eddy chuckled to himself. "Or did Oak have to do that for you, too?"

Zanas was shaking. His best attempt to look calm just wouldn't cut it. This Eddy could see right through him. The team kept quite, unsure what to say or weather to say anything at all. They continued to look between each other, silently asking with their expressions for someone to speak up. For a long moment no one did.

Eddy, again was the first to talk. "You know...I could easily report you to the League and any kind of trouble you could cause, with that likely forged I.D., would be stopped right here and now."

Zanas snapped to attention, opening his mouth to speak, but no words formed. Eddy Raised his hand in defense and sighed out his words.

"But I wont."

Last edited by BigO2233; May 12th, 2013 at 10:02 PM.
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  #13    
Old May 12th, 2013, 10:02 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
Made some big edits to chapter seven plot.Sorry about leaving it out.
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  #14    
Old June 1st, 2013, 11:37 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
And a New chapter is up! Please check the first post for the list of chapters

Here is the link anyway

Geez I took a while for this one. I tried to do all sorts of different stuff but eventually I chose to cut the story at the part where Curlean City is mentioned. Don't worry you'll get filled in with the details shortly after the gym battle but after tackling the scene with the two talking for a month and making no progress I just decided to forsake that idea and move on.

So the next chapter? Battle! Battle! Battle!....o and i'll explain why Brock has...well eyes.
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  #15    
Old June 23rd, 2013, 11:01 PM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
Sorry this took so long to do guys and again sorry that he has to end on another tbc. Like i said before I only wanna have each addition be between 6-7 pages long or at least 5 so I gonna stop here and post another hopefully tomorrow. Soon my freinds.Soon the carnage will be done.

Also I added the beginning part as an addition to the last chapter, because my brain stopped having farts. I didn;t add it to the last part because I couldn't find a place for it so... ya. Enjoy Damnit!

Spoiler:
Earlier that afternoon:

Eddy never explained why he wanted Zanas to come with him, and it really didn't matter. After the annoying nurse refused to explain himself, Zanas didn't bother asking a second time. The situation was very simple. He would take this man to Cerulean and then never see him again.

Accompanied by the Nurse the team and their trainer made their way through the town, passing the few homes that were scattered across the area. Most hugged the borders of the town, just barley staying within the boundaries of their Gym Leaders jurisdiction. It made sense, due to many homes working as bed and breakfasts simultaneously. If Viridian was a garage sale paradise, then Pewter was the place everyone went after their shopping sprees had exhausted all of their money and time.

Besides the main mart where trainers could buy food and gear for their travels, the only other building worth noting was the grand museum set at the very back end of the town. Zanas had no interest in stopping there, though Eddy didn't mind wasting time to look at old documents and skeletons as a "treat" to himself. Pepper shook feverishly when she heard the word skeleton, but a quick pat from Zanas calmed her down.

When the group arrived to the gym, everyone climbed off of the trainer and strategized for the upcoming battle. To Hector's displeasure, he again was going to be left out of the fight. He cursed and hopped in anger but soon calmed down when Zanas made a very bold promise.

"If we win this gym battle, then you'll take the front line in every battle until we get to Cerulean." Zanas said with an earnest smile.

Hector didn't know what to say. Half-finished words fell from his unseen mouth, making muffled noises as if he were actually subdued from speaking by his shell.

"Is that so wise?" Babe questioned in a blunt tone. "He has no way of fighting our enemies other than a weak hope and an impressive glare."

Hector turned to Babe and glared at her, causing her to giggle, which took everyone by surprise. Such a feminine laugh did not suit their Zen friend but at the same time it gave the dense mood a well needed release.

"He'll be fine." Zanas assured her. "One of you will bounce in for him after he take a hit or two, then when he evolves..."

"We can screw the blasted kiddy wheels and let me go Mon on Mon with any daft fool who thinks they can challenge me!"

Zanas shrugged and nodded in compliance. Babe sighed and ever so slightly bowed in respect, accepting her trainer's decision.

"As for the battle, the only two who can manage to win, let alone survive, are Babe and Duke." Zanas looked to the young lizard, who looked around in confusion and pointed to himself when no other Mon stepped forward.

"You can manage to take out the weaker rock types and switch out with Babe when something more dangerous comes our way. She has an extreme type advantage but," Zanas stopped to turn to Babe. "She can't take on the entire gym by herself. Are we clear?"

Babe nodded with another bow. "Like water."

Duke jumped in joy. "I'm gonna be able to play with new friends woohoo!"

Everyone chuckled at the young Pokémon's enthusiasm.

"You are always way too happy to set something on fire, aren't you brother?" Prince patted Duke's back and was met with a pat of his own.

"So you two are ok with staying out of this fight?" Zanas asked Prince and Pepper.

Prince smiled and shrugged. "I suppose, but you're going to make the audience miss out on the battle of a lifetime."

Zanas rolled his eyes and turned to Pepper, who smiled shyly. "I know I'm not much use right now, sorry."

"It's just the type disadvantage, nothing more, OK Pep. You're still one heck of a powerhouse against most of the Pokémon we fought so far?" Pepper nodded as her smile grew. She looked more confident, if only slightly.

"Just be careful not te send your own teammates through the air when yeh have another one of your panic attacks ey lass?" Hector laughed hardily, Pepper's smile brimming now.

The chatting and laughter between the team was silenced swiftly when they heard Eddy's voice calling out to them. "Yoohoo, Slave boy!"

A collective sigh was had, and Zanas grumbled as he got up to his feet after kneeling for so long. "Someone remind me to beat this guy senseless when we've made it to Cerulean."

"Actually," Babe spoke up still in a very blunt tone. "I've wanted to ask you about that."

The expression on Zanas' face mad it obvious he didn't want to talk, but rather than shutting her out he let her continued, giving a silent nod in response. She did the same and in her usual fashion got straight to the point.

"Why exactly are you papers in the shape they are? What are you hiding?"

The team froze in place as the tension from before had returned with a vengeance. This time Zanas had no one to punch or any bones to break, so instead he grit his teeth and clenched a fist tightly. Eddy's annoying chanting grew louder and louder as he made his way over and Zanas knew he wasn't going to be able to walk away from this without giving Babe some kind of answer. He loosed his fist and sighed.

"…I can't explain everything right now… So let's make a deal."

Babe titled her head, intrigued. Zanas smiled at how cute she looked with that simple expression of hers.

"Let's just... focus on the gym battle first ok? Then we can talk about anything you like."

Her once cute face now glared at him. Zanas flinched at the look. Jerochi when did she get so mean.

The others noticed as well, each flinching slightly.

"B-babe?" Pepper squeaked.

"You really should be careful with that look, it might get stuck like that." Prince quipped. Duke then turned to Prince with a worried look.

"Can that actually happen!?"

Prince and Hector both moved to speak, but were instantly silenced by the approaching Nurse.

"Well that was definitely worth the money spent." Eddy was beaming pure happiness, which was creepy on its own and now even more unwelcome. Eddy looked around and saw the upset faces and stopped smiling. "Seems like I came at an awkward moment."

"No, we were just about to go inside." Zanas answered quickly, turning away from the enraged Mankey. "We were just waiting on you." The team all made a expression of disbelief as they shouted "Liar". Even Duke could see past his trainers deceit.

"Well now I feel flattered." Eddy placed both hands on his cheeks and squirmed around as if he were embarrassed. "You were waiting on little old me? How thoughtful."

Eddy didn't wait for anyone to laugh, though no one did, and moved ahead of the others inside the gym, calling back and ordering Zanas to, 'Hurry up and get this battle over with, I've got plans and I'm not waiting for you forever.'

Zanas and the team groaned.

"Can we please eat him or something?" Hector suggested.

"You honestly want to have something that greasy go through your stomach?" Zanas sarcastically asked. Hector gave a loud "Ha!" at the thought.

"You can make anything go down with the right kind of drink to go down with it." Hector puffed out what little of his chest he could as he spoke in a hardy voice.

Prince walked over to Zanas, his back facing Hector as he snickered at the insect's pride. "How do you expect to eat or drink when you-"

Before Prince could even finish his sentence, Hector had thrown himself in front of the rodent, between him and their trainer. Hector's face was awkwardly close to Prince's and the Metapod glared at the Rattata with pure rage. "If you finish that sentence then I'll show you how, ya bruised colored ninny!"

Prince stared back at the Metapod then cocked his head to look behind him where Hector once sat. A good five feet away from either the trainer or himself, Hector had jumped high enough and quietly enough while Prince wasn't paying attention. Prince then looked up to Zanas, who looked just as dumfounded as him, only he seemed more impressed than terrified. When Prince put his gaze back on the Metapod, the insect looked to be smiling, his eyes closed and his face showing an expression of arrogance and victory at the reaction the royal rodent was giving.

"How in the reverse world did you just do that!"

Zanas picked up each member of the team, as they all laughed and bickered with one another, until Babe was the only one left, but unlike the others she did not happily reach up to her trainer. Instead she kept her distance.

"Babe? I can't do this without you." Zanas said, putting his free hand out toward her

Babe sighed. "I know…" She walked closer, and reached her hand out to her trainer's, but stopped short of his grasp. Zanas looked from his hand to her face, seeing the look of fear and rage in her eyes.

"But I will not put my life within your hands if you won't do the same for me." Babe spoke as blankly as usual, but what she said stung all the same. "I have no patience for a trainer like that." She took Zanas' hand and pulled herself up on his shoulder, averting her gaze to anywhere but him. The others grew quiet, as Pepper reached out to Babe to speak to her but whatever serious moment the group was going to have was interrupted again by the Nurse.

"I don't pay lazy body guards to stand around all day you know!" Eddy called through the open door, his voice sounding jokingly feminine.

"Shut the hell up!" Zanas and the team barked back, all except Duke.

"This guy…" Zanas looked to Babe who continued to look away from him. He saw how hurt she was, by all of this and knew how wrong he was as well. If we make it out of this…

Zanas turned away from the Mankey and walked through the door way into the gym. I'll tell you everything.

Presently

"Before you squeeze the entirety of my life away let go me!" Eddy squirmed in the large Asian male's embrace, gasping for air in a desperate attempt to stay conscious. At least that's what he made it seem like. Zanas and the team laughed at their added cargo's pain, enjoying the payback that they had been hoping would come to him.

Brock let the Nurse go, smiling obliviously to the pain he had been causing Eddy. "It's been too long Edward. I'm happy to see you stuck with that job at the Center after all." Brock's voice almost didn't suit him at first impressions. He sounded young, not much older than Zanas, and by how he carried himself, he reminded Zanas more of the other kids father's back home; loud, lively, and oblivious. It doesn't help that he's blind. He probably doesn't even know I'm here.

Eddy groaned as he rubbed his chest in pain. "Well it is the family business, so who am I to go against conformity….I mean tradition." Zanas shook his head at the joke while Eddy merely smirked snidely; again the Nurse's attempts to be funny and snarky fell on a majority of deaf ears. You never learn do yo-

"Hahaha! Your still just as cynical as ever. Haha your jokes never get old. You're like a young version of Stephen Lynch" Brock slapped his friends back , but not hard enough to hurt him, filling up the Nurse's ego to dangerous levels of self-worth.

Zanas and the team stood there in astonishment. They couldn't believe their senses. "His jokes…never get old?" Zanas peeped.

Similar sounds came from the team as each spoke up. "Is this guy in sound mental health?" Babe asked, no doubt in her tone that this was an actual question.

"Is this what hell is like, or is this far worse?" Prince said, his face clenching in anger now more than bewilderment.

The other three had similar stances, Hector being the only other Mon to get upset about this strange turn of events. Pepper just laughed at the absurdity and Duke asked anyone who could hear him what was so funny in the first place.

Broke stopped laughing long enough to notice, somehow, that a third person was with them. The Gym Leader turned to Zanas and held his hand out to be shaken. Zanas smiled and took hold of the offered hand and shook with as firm a grip as he could. The trainer almost flinched from the grip he received, which was likely the strongest he had ever had to fight against in a hand shake before. In comparison, the only people he had made hand to hand contact with were girls, Gary, and an old man and after last time Zanas wouldn't make the mistake of the later options ever again.

"Who do I have the pleasure of meeting Eddy? Looks like a…" Brock's chipper demeanor seemed to fade away as he squinted at Zanas and frowned. Brock quickly pulled his hand back and continued to stare angrily at the boy. Zanas stared back but with open confused eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Brock turned to Eddy, with the same glare while Eddy just looked at his "old friend" with a bored look.

"Why did you bring him here?" Brock asked, his voice more gruff than before. This made him sound a bit older, closer to his thirties, which matched his looks far better than before.

"Technically he brought me here." Eddy snarked back at the Leader. Brock grit his teeth and looked ready to yell at the nurse but, in his fashion he lifted a hand up to pause the oncoming rage. "He's going to take me to Cerulean so that I can meet up with my siblings. I didn't realize he had to stop by here first. This was not part of my plan."

Brock continued to glare at the nurse, but his gaze eased back into his closed eye smile. "Alright…I believe you for now."

"What you can't believe me for good?" Eddy joked as Brock turned back to Zanas.

"This is THE Edward Joy we are talking about right? The name should be enough reason to hold total compliance with anything you do or say."

Last edited by BigO2233; June 24th, 2013 at 10:01 AM.
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  #16    
Old June 24th, 2013, 10:02 AM
BigO2233
Nuzlocke Champion
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Illinois
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
recently been told not to link stuff in these sites and ill be more careful with remembering this rule in the future. gonna leave the links in the top as a chapter list but will post the stories from now on on here in full. sorry for the issues.
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  #17    
Old June 28th, 2013, 03:53 AM
DevinTorres
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigO2233 View Post
recently been told not to link stuff in these sites and ill be more careful with remembering this rule in the future. gonna leave the links in the top as a chapter list but will post the stories from now on on here in full. sorry for the issues.
Still searching for some stories.. When will you post them?
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