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  #1    
Old March 16th, 2013, 10:07 PM
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Deathbot
Chicken Apocalypse Survivor
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The Red Waste
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Nature: Gentle

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Decided to get into writing my own fantasy stuff, so heres what I came up with for my first chapter.
Remember, any posts that are irrelevant or non constructive shall be deleted. Cheers.

CHAPTER 1- Mission
In the beginning there were only two beings; the Great God and the Great Goddess. The two gods had six children; Gem, Firath, Sarth, Vile, Mayln and Exon. Each of these demigods were given a role in building and maintaining the balance of worlds. To Gem the power of life was given, making it his role to create beings to abide on the worlds made. Fear was given the power to control death, so that the worlds would not become over populated and unbalanced. Sarth was chosen to control what many would come to call ‘luck’, fate and destiny. Firath was made the controller of war and battle. Some believe this means he starts wars but this is not true. There are always those who hunger for power and Firath gives power to chosen warriors to stop them. Mayln, as the only daughter, was given the chance to choose what she controlled. Mayln, being a humble soul decided to control nature. She created the trees, mountains, and all else of natural origin. Exon, being a lover of knowledge, was chosen to be the guardian of it. He was responsible for making the worlds races intelligent. If someone is suddenly enlightened with an idea, it is said to have come from Exon.
The gods created many worlds and kept them more or less in balance, but this was not so for one world. The Great God and Goddess had another child, a boy named Vile. Now Vile was born mad and denied his birthright of a role in balancing worlds. In his extreme jealousy he one day attempted to smite his brother Firath but was stopped by his eldest brother Exon, for Exon had seen this coming and had been ready to stop Vile from committing this evil sin. Vile’s siblings locked him away far in the depths of the universe, where they hoped he could not affect the people of their worlds. This did not work as they had hoped.

Creation of Existence by an unknown priest of Exon





The room lit up as a fireball exploded.
Fin instantly jumped down to the now warm ground, feeling the flames all around him, narrowly avoiding being burned alive. His enemy was strong and Fin and his companions were growing weary after two weeks of searching for the dark sorcerer they had been sent to kill.
The magical fire started to cease as Fin jumped to his feat, slashing his short sword at a goblin as he did so. Quickly surveying the area around him he saw that he and his companions had nearly dispatched all the servants of their target after only a few minutes of battle. The fireball had destroyed all that was left but a few goblins that had somehow managed to survive the intense heat, while also leaving Fin near deaf from the huge “boom” it had made.
‘The tide is turning! We have this!’ Fin, who was hardly able to hear himself, called to his two companions, Storm and Donn as they quickly slew the remaining creatures.
Out of the corner of his eye while fighting one of the remaining goblins, Fin noticed the cloaked figure that had nearly killed the three of them quickly leaving through a hidden door.
He speedily finished off the goblin with a blow to the head and yelled to his allies, ‘Quickly, through the door. We can’t let him escape!’
The party quickly regrouped and entered through the hidden door that was concealed with the stone walls of the dungeon. They entered the room.

The chamber was mostly dark, but dimly lit with the blue glow of large magical runes in the center. Across from the arcane inscriptions on the floor stood the target of their mission, Nazar the Feared.
Nazar laughed darkly, ‘You have done well to reach me, but here, I’m afraid, is where your mission meets its end.’
As he spoke the final words of his short speech a green bolt of magical energy flew out of the end of his staff, splitting in three directions.
‘NO!’ the elf screamed as the lightning travelled through the air, the room temporarily lit green, Storm rolled out of the way, knocking Fin to the ground, making the attack miss them both. The remaining lightning hit Donn right in the chest, causing him to fly back and hit the wall.
Storm, feeling the perspiration run down his back, got to his feet and let fly an arrow right at their enemy who had possibly killed their older companion. His arrow hit the wizard in the thigh, making him grunt in pain.

As Fin got up from the ground he could smell the burnt flesh on Donn’s body. Knowing they were in a kill or be killed situation, he ran forward, jumping over the magical inscriptions glowing from the stone floor, landing right next to the sorcerer who was clearly stunned in disbelief at what had just happened. Quickly regaining his footing from the jump, Fin spun around and sliced Nazar across his side.
Screaming in pain, Nazar finally recovered from his shock. The priest of Vile stepped back and slowly fled, down a passageway that the three had not noticed during the fight.

Fin and Storm stood by Donn, ready to help him up when he had the strength.
‘Alright, I should be okay now,’ Donn said to his companions. The older man of 57 had spent the last 15 minutes recovering from the lightning that had hit him square in the chest. Donn knew he would probably be dead if he wasn’t studied in healing as a priest of Gem, a fact for which he was especially grateful for at the moment.
‘You sure?’ asked Fin, quite unsure of what to do. He knew they needed to chase after the sorcerer but they couldn’t just leave Donn alone in the dark of the underground.
‘Yes, yes, I’m fine Fin,’ answered the priest.
The two boys helped Donn to his feet and they began to walk around the magical runes that they were sure would probably hurt them if they stepped into them.
They reached the passageway that Nazar had fled down and Storm pulled a torch out of his backpack. The three of them could see a blood trail continuing down the path.
‘It’s a good thing you slashed him back there or he would have gotten away,’ said Storm to his best friend since childhood.
‘Shame I didn’t kill him though,’ replied Fin.
They started down the corridor.

They followed the blood trail for a time, how long they could only estimate by the amount of torches they used. They assumed it was close to about half an hour. Nobody spoke as they walked. They were cold and tired, but at least the torch was providing a little heat for the three.
Fin and Storm were both orphans who, despite their racial difference, had become best friends, practically brothers. Both of their parents had died in a raid on their town when Fin was only six and Storm was ten. They had been taken in by a young man named Ibohn who had taught Fin how to use a sword and Storm the way of the bow, the preferred weapon for his kind. Now, 13 years later, they were spy’s for the crown.
Donn was their mentor within the spy network, teaching them the ways of stealth, despite the fact that he was no longer as nimble as he used to be. The two boys had learned quickly and were out on the field, spying for the network before Fin was 13 years of age, making Storm 17 at the time. For six years the two youth had gathered intelligence for the crown and prevented disasters within the kingdom.
Now, at ages 19 and 23, the two had been sent on a mission with their teacher to stop a plot on the duke of Gallowstow. What they had expected to be a petty assassination attempt was turning out to be a dark plot by a sorcerer of great power.
Finally after walking down the passage for what seemed an eternity the labyrinth split off into three directions. If it weren’t for the blood trail they would have lost their enemy.
The party followed the trail for a little longer and came to a wooden door. Slowly, they entered the room.

Nazar lay dead in the center of the room, surrounded by a magical circle of dark energy. ‘I suppose he bled to death,’ suggested Storm to his companions.
To this Donn replied, ‘Dead he may be, but he took his own life, you can tell by the circle around him.’
Fin, quite confused, asked of his mentor, ‘What is that circle?’
‘A magical ward,’ responded Donn.
‘I guess we should probably move him,’ offered Storm, moving to pick up the dead body.
‘No you fool!’ shouted the older man, ‘If you touch anything within the circle you will die.’
Startled by Donn’s sudden outburst the elf quickly moved back next to Fin.
Fin sighed, ‘Well we can’t exactly leave a dead sorcerer here surrounded by a circle of pure death now can we?’
‘No. I can try to break the ward but I may fail,’ responded the priest.

Donn spent the next half hour or so attempting to break the seal that the cunning wizard had put around himself before ending his life.
‘The ward is too strong,’ Donn finally admitted to his students.
‘Okay, are we going to have to leave him here?’ Storm inquired.
‘I’m afraid so boy.’
Out of pure habit, the three began searching the room for anything useful. After finding nothing, they left the room and traveled back up to the surface.




It's the first time I've taken writing seriously so I know it isn't amazing but I hope it was worth your time.
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“And will I tell you that these three lived happily ever after? I will not, for no one ever does. But there was happiness. And they did live.”
― Stephen King, The Dark Tower

“ 'A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies,' said Jojen. 'The man who never reads lives only one.' ”
― George R.R. Martin, A Dance with Dragons
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  #2    
Old November 22nd, 2013, 07:38 PM
Skittymiz
PMD hero
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Hyrule
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Nature: Jolly
cnfygheksjxf. So good! <3 I don't even care if you say it was your first attempt and that it isn't that good. I LOVED IT! XD Seriously it is amazing. Wish I could write like that.
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