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  #1    
Old April 3rd, 2013, 05:02 PM
Nate's Avatar
Nate
Evil Cute Thing
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: North East England
Gender: Male
Nature: Timid

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Dearest brother.

I can barely speak of the events taking place several months ago, without you doubting if this is really true. I doubt very much that you will believe me, but I must get this off my chest. To start with, three months ago, me and my girlfriend were at a car boot sale our neighbors were having to get rid of their unwanted junk. Apparently, their 12 year old son had died last month due to organ failures, and they were selling his stuff away for cheap. I came across a stall that held many gameboy games, and naturally I was curious, but being in front of my girlfriend I had to try to impress her. I left without buying a single item, but feeling quite disapointed not being able to buy any gba games. My girlfriend left late at night, around 11:00pm, and the Gameboy games still lurked in my mind. I just had to see what they were. Due to the fact that it was my neighbor selling these games, I decided to go and knock and see if the games were still there. Upon answering the door, I was met by one depressed old man, who asked me what I wanted. I replied back with "I would like to look at your GBA games please, they were at your carboot sale this morning?" The man just smiled at me, he didn't seem so depressed anymore. He led me in and got a box from the cellar, and, honestly was grinning from ear to ear. Dear brother, I cannot explain how scared I was at that point, but never the less, I carried on pretending not to notice the look on his face. I never really got to know this man, and I didn't even know his name, to be honest, I only heard they were living here the day before the one I am documenting. I was browsing through these games, looking at all sorts of, normal games if I may say so myself, my eyes were fixed on the pokemon games, although many mario and sonic games also were laying there. These games were my favourite, but I felt like taking the pokemon games. I didn't want to leave these games behind so I bought the whole box for a meer £20. Once I got home, I had allready told myself I would play one of these games. I had a look inside, and once again, it was one of the pokemon games that caught my eye. I picked it up, and it looked like it was a copy of pokemon fire red, but it had no label, except for a square labelled in black marker pen. I din't understand what it ment at first, but I do now. I started playing and, I was right, it was a copy of firered, but it was different. Instead of a charizard at the front, there was the old man sprite. Just to note, I didn't have my sound on at this point. I was curious to why that was. Maybe that's why I kept playing. I knew there was something wrong with the game allready, wether it was just a hack, or if it was just a bug. I had no beliefs in haunted gaming at the time, which was my downfall. I played like normal choosing squirtle as my starter. I continued playing untill I reached viridian city, where things got weird. I understand that I have played fire red before, but I was pretty sure that you don't see a dozen officers running out of the city. I carried on up the route where I was shocked to see some sort of crime scene. There were two team rocket grunts on the right, and the old man who teaches you how to catch pokemon on the left. There were no other npc's though. This game was indefinately different to the original fire red, but I was curious, and nosy, just human instincts I guess.

It appeared that the npc's were talking to each other.

"You released the beast," one team rocket member said. The other one said the same thing.

The old man spoke too, replying with, "This is meer mortal talk, you shall all pay."

Then, I was alloud to move, although no action was happening. Stormy weather suddenly appeared, and bright lights flashed a few times, enough to give anyone a seizure. I walked up to the old man and talked to him. He said "Not even angels can stop him. He will escape his prison and rule us all, for his words were never heard of, now everyone will listen." As soon as he finished a dark oval, presumably some form of portal, spawned behind him. He disapeared, leaving a small tv. I can assume that this was the teachy tv the man usually gives you after he teaches you how to catch pokemon. Nothing else was really happening so I walked up to the team rocket grunts and talked to them instead. The first one I talked to said "The being has returned, all hail the beast." I was pretty sure they despised this beast before. I ended up on the theory that they had been brainwashed to serve him. I was finding the game very interesting so I kept on playing, without a fright. I noticed that a cutscene was happening, in which the box had some kind of spirit face, like spiritomb from the fourth generation set. I decided it was probably necesary to turn up the volume to see if alongside the new action, if there was any new music. I was wrong. As soon as the volume went up, a very high pitched screaming noise came from the gameboy, causing me to drop the gameboy, and the game cartage came flying out. The gameboy landed face down, and I decided it was best to leave it alone. Surely it would have shut down when I dropped the gameboy. That night I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get the game out of my mind. All the time, the box, or teachy tv, was constantly in my mind, even when I did sleep all I dreamed about was that demonic box.

I woke up the next morning with only 4 hours sleep. It was about 9:00am on a sunday, so I had nothing to do. I decided to see go back on my gameboy and play more of the fire red hack. I was shocked when I picked up my gameboy, to find that it was still on... and functioning without a game cartridge. I knew something was wrong, but yet, something made me want to continue playing. Wether it was curiosity, or the game haunting me, I did not know, or care. I found my charecter in a dark room, the only thing I could see on the screen was the box. I didn't even move, or press a button, but a text box appeared, saying "We waited for you. Now you will listen to me. You can't escape." I found my charecter moving by itself towards the box. Then the lights came on, and thats when i was shocked to find many npc's with no facial features staring towards my charecter, many of them had blood dripping from their eyes. The box then again stated, "I am a teachy tv, I will teach you how to live your life, properly." I then found my eyes litereally glued to my gameboy, with no way of leaving. I was stuck, fixed to the gameboy. I struggled for about 15 minutes but it was no use. I realised I had new options. I found that the a button was a knife instead of the action button, and b was the same, run. I then noticed that whatever this box was telling me to do, I was doing it. He was playing with me. He told me to run up, run down, and do all kinds of things before sending me back to veruleun city. Another text box appeared, which said, "kill all those you see." He had doomed me to kill npc's. I thought my life was over. The gameboy had possesed me. I had to see blood, pouring from the necks of inocent people, and it seemed so realistic, I just watched, and watched as I killed and killed. Oh if I didn't have a girlfriend I would still be watching people die, and so much blood. It was monday evening when she found me, bloodshot and starving. I owe my life to her. Oh brother, I hope you will enjoy your time in America, but please remember your little brother, he allways misses you. I understand if you don't believe me, after all, opinions are what drives us forward in life.

- Yours faithfully, Isaac.
  #2    
Old April 3rd, 2013, 07:14 PM
Lopnis's Avatar
Lopnis
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Gender: Male
That last sentence was a bit confusing.
  #3    
Old April 3rd, 2013, 08:12 PM
Fairy's Avatar
Fairy
スカイハイ
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: in the flowers
Gender: Female
Hi there! Interesting read you've got here. :3

I'm just going to quickly highlight the things I noticed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson0191 View Post
I left without buying a single item, but feeling quite disapointed not being able to buy any gba games. ... I was browsing through these games, looking at all sorts of, normal games if I may say so myself, my eyes were fixed on the pokemon games, although many mario and sonic games also were laying there.
You capitalized GBA in another sentence, so definitely be consistent with that sort of stuff.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson0191 View Post
I didn't want to leave these games behind so I bought the whole box for a meer £20. Once I got home, I had allready told myself I would play one of these games. I had a look inside, and once again, it was one of the pokemon games that caught my eye. I picked it up, and it looked like it was a copy of pokemon fire red, but it had no label, except for a square labelled in black marker pen. I din't understand what it ment at first, but I do now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson0191 View Post
Maybe that's why I kept playing. I knew there was something wrong with the game allready, wether it was just a hack, or if it was just a bug. I had no beliefs in haunted gaming at the time, which was my downfall. I played like normal choosing squirtle as my starter. I continued playing untill I reached viridian city, where things got weird.
Cities, names, Pokemon.. these things should be capitalized.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson0191 View Post
There were no other npc's though. This game was indefinately different to the original fire red, but I was curious, and nosy, just human instincts I guess. ... Then, I was alloud to move, although no action was happening. ... He disapeared, leaving a small tv.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson0191 View Post
I noticed that a cutscene was happening, in which the box had some kind of spirit face, like spiritomb from the fourth generation set. I decided it was probably necesary to turn up the volume to see if alongside the new action, if there was any new music. I was wrong. As soon as the volume went up, a very high pitched screaming noise came from the gameboy, causing me to drop the gameboy, and the game cartage came flying out.
Cut scene is two words and, while cartage isn't misspelled, I think you meant cartridge.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson0191 View Post
Wether it was curiosity, or the game haunting me, I did not know, or care. ... I found my charecter moving by itself towards the box. Then the lights came on, and thats when i was shocked to find many npc's with no facial features staring towards my charecter, many of them had blood dripping from their eyes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson0191 View Post
I then found my eyes litereally glued to my gameboy, with no way of leaving. ... He told me to run up, run down, and do all kinds of things before sending me back to veruleun city. Another text box appeared, which said, "kill all those you see." He had doomed me to kill npc's. I thought my life was over. The gameboy had possesed me. I had to see blood, pouring from the necks of inocent people, and it seemed so realistic, I just watched, and watched as I killed and killed. Oh if I didn't have a girlfriend I would still be watching people die, and so much blood. It was monday evening when she found me, bloodshot and starving. I owe my life to her. Oh brother, I hope you will enjoy your time in America, but please remember your little brother, he allways misses you. I understand if you don't believe me, after all, opinions are what drives us forward in life.

- Yours faithfully, Isaac.
I think you meant either Viridian or Cerulean.. either way it needs to be capitalized.

There are still issues with this beyond the errors I have highlighted for you, but I think it'll be beneficial to correct the small things first before moving on. Definitely make sure you check and double check your spelling and punctuation, because it's those little errors that can throw off the feel of an entire piece. Nevertheless, good job and good luck! :)


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  #4    
Old April 4th, 2013, 04:47 AM
Nate's Avatar
Nate
Evil Cute Thing
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: North East England
Gender: Male
Nature: Timid
Yeah I often make many spelling mistakes, thanks for the feed back!
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