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  #3551    
Old April 7th, 2013 (11:04 AM).
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Originally Posted by EGKangaroo View Post
Speaking of gays being feminine. I do remember when I first came out to two of my friends in real life. They just stared at me with those dumbstruck faces and said "That can't be right." "He's joking." "He's not feminine enough." On one side I was discouraged by these people who were so intolerant that they wouldn't believe me to be gay because I didn't fit the exact stereotype, and on the other side I was wondering why I wasn't feminine enough, if I wasn't some big burly bloke who likes cars and things being destroyed and is all like "Yeah, masculinity! Make me a sammich and stuff!" and at the same time, I totally agree that I am not feminine either. Maybe I am one of those very few people with common sense who doesn't completely act like his gender archetype.
Sorry if I offended, I wasn't saying all gay men are feminine. Just the stereotype is that all of them are, and that the feminine ones are more likely to be put down, you know?

It's kind of like when I tell someone I'm a lesbian and they say "You're too pretty to be a lesbian!".

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Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
It's more than double the yum, because they see that as just being super extra ****ty(wow, why is that blocked... uh *****-y? Nope... How about "loose woman-y"? lol), not as your sexuality. In my personal past experience anyway. Probably why being lesbian is seen as okay by some Christians, and in countries where being a gay male has severe criminal punishments.
For example:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_by_country_or_territory
In Sierra Leone, the penalty for being a gay male is life imprisonment, and being a gay female is completely legal. Guys make the laws, and they like watching lesbians, so it's cool with them.
Wow. That really sucks.

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  #3552    
Old April 8th, 2013 (6:14 AM).
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I seem to have stumbled into some sort of porn debate, so let me weigh in!

As to the whether it'd be hotter for a straight guy to watch straight or lesbian porn, I can see both sides of the coin. The 'double-the-yum' argument makes a lot of sense, but at the same time I can see why they'd like straight porn too. While Scarf's notion that they would be uncomfortable with seeing men portrayed as sexually desirable is valid, I also think it makes perfect sense for guy-on-girl porn to turn a straight man on, since it would allow them to fantasize that they are the guy in the video and that everything being done to the guy is actually being done to them.

Also welcome to Rai! :D
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  #3553    
Old April 8th, 2013 (1:46 PM).
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Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
I seem to have stumbled into some sort of porn debate, so let me weigh in!

As to the whether it'd be hotter for a straight guy to watch straight or lesbian porn, I can see both sides of the coin. The 'double-the-yum' argument makes a lot of sense, but at the same time I can see why they'd like straight porn too. While Scarf's notion that they would be uncomfortable with seeing men portrayed as sexually desirable is valid, I also think it makes perfect sense for guy-on-girl porn to turn a straight man on, since it would allow them to fantasize that they are the guy in the video and that everything being done to the guy is actually being done to them.

Also welcome to Rai! :D
This is what I was going to get at next. Wouldn't a straight guy like straight porn better because he could sort of.. well.. pretend that he was the dude? I think that would make the job get done easier.
  #3554    
Old April 8th, 2013 (2:16 PM).
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What it really all boils down to is personal preference. A person's porn preference doesn't really have anything to do with their sexual preference. Some people really don't care, so long as the gender they're attracted to is present in the porn. Some don't want the same gender in their porn at all, some don't mind it.

It's not a function of being straight, or gay. It's a function of what arouses the person viewing the porn. So saying straight porn would "do it better" for straight people is kind of senseless. Granted, the straight person would make sure that it's the opposite sex in the porn, that's what they prefer. But I don't think it would be fair to assume that porn in any form cannot be enjoyed by an audience it wasn't intended for.
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  #3555    
Old April 8th, 2013 (2:20 PM).
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What it really all boils down to is personal preference. A person's porn preference doesn't really have anything to do with their sexual preference. Some people really don't care, so long as the gender they're attracted to is present in the porn. Some don't want the same gender in their porn at all, some don't mind it.

It's not a function of being straight, or gay. It's a function of what arouses the person viewing the porn. So saying straight porn would "do it better" for straight people is kind of senseless. Granted, the straight person would make sure that it's the opposite sex in the porn, that's what they prefer. But I don't think it would be fair to assume that porn in any form cannot be enjoyed by an audience it wasn't intended for.
Yeah you have a really good point. I guess it's all preference, but it seems like the stereotype is that straight men love lesbian porn. Almost every one of my girl friends likes yaoi and gay porn (which I don't understand why, but again, personal preference) which I guess is the opposite of a dude liking lesbian porn.

I dunno.
  #3556    
Old April 8th, 2013 (2:43 PM).
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........
I'm really wondering what kind of conversation I'm actually seeing right now.....
...*cough*stillAminor*cough*
lol
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  #3557    
Old April 8th, 2013 (2:45 PM).
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Originally Posted by FenrirDarkWolf View Post
........
I'm really wondering what kind of conversation I'm actually seeing right now.....
...*cough*stillAminor*cough*
lol
We are discussing the gender-switched version of yaoi.
Edit: Apparently Insomniac already made that comparison and I just made myself look like an idiot.
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  #3558    
Old April 8th, 2013 (2:50 PM).
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Originally Posted by EGKangaroo View Post
We are discussing the gender-switched version of yaoi.
Edit: Apparently Insomniac already made that comparison and I just made myself look like an idiot.
That makes much more sense now! :p
*giggle*
Nah, I know what ya'll are talking about, I'm just a little curious at how big this became.
*shrug* I don't care, it's fun to read.
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  #3559    
Old April 8th, 2013 (2:51 PM).
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Originally Posted by EGKangaroo View Post
We are discussing the gender-switched version of yaoi.
Edit: Apparently Insomniac already made that comparison and I just made myself look like an idiot.
Hahaha I did yeah. How would that make you look like an idiot though? :p

I was saying I don't understand why most of my girl friends think yaoi is so hot.
  #3560    
Old April 8th, 2013 (3:00 PM).
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Hahaha I did yeah. How would that make you look like an idiot though? :p

I was saying I don't understand why most of my girl friends think yaoi is so hot.
I think it's for the same reason a lot of males think girl-on-girl is hot.
I honestly thought that when a guy watches Female/Female and when a chick watches Male/Male, I thought they liked it because they know it's something they'll never be able to really do, y'know, fantasizing and stuff.
Plus Guy on Guy is hot!
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  #3561    
Old April 8th, 2013 (3:01 PM). Edited April 8th, 2013 by Rai.
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I don't understand either. But then again, I don't like guys at all so...

As a lesbian, straight love or yoai love doesn't make as much sense to me as yuri. I am not saying that they are a bad thing, though. There are a lot of straight and gay couples I find cute. I guess I am just too gay to comprehend lol.

Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I just a weirdo? D; x3
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  #3562    
Old April 8th, 2013 (4:19 PM).
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It's kind of weird if you think about it - homosexuality is often seen as unnatural and like it makes no sense whatsoever, but a homosexual's porn habits make a lot more instant sense than a straight person's do.
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  #3563    
Old April 8th, 2013 (4:24 PM).
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Originally Posted by Rai View Post
I don't understand either. But then again, I don't like guys at all so...

As a lesbian, straight love or yoai love doesn't make as much sense to me as yuri. I am not saying that they are a bad thing, though. There are a lot of straight and gay couples I find cute. I guess I am just too gay to comprehend lol.

Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I just a weirdo? D; x3
I don't even like porn, but I sure as heck like yuri better than straight or yaoi. Same thing here, I am just too gay to even think of watching a dude at all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
It's kind of weird if you think about it - homosexuality is often seen as unnatural and like it makes no sense whatsoever, but a homosexual's porn habits make a lot more instant sense than a straight person's do.
Yeah. Usually gay people just prefer gay porn, or so it seems. (I sure do)
  #3564    
Old April 8th, 2013 (4:37 PM).
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I don't even like porn, but I sure as heck like yuri better than straight or yaoi. Same thing here, I am just too gay to even think of watching a dude at all.
I guess yuri wasn't the right word because I don't like porn either. I mean, in general, that two girls being together (holding hands, kissing, etc.) just makes more sense to me.

But speaking of yuri... In the Tales Of Graces games, there is a a guy character named Yuri and I always crack up about it. To make it even funnier, it is a Japanese game and he looks like a girl x3

Quote:
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It's kind of weird if you think about it - homosexuality is often seen as unnatural and like it makes no sense whatsoever, but a homosexual's porn habits make a lot more instant sense than a straight person's do.
You are right; I never really thought about it that way. What seems unnatural to me is natural to a straight person and vice versa.
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  #3565    
Old April 8th, 2013 (4:47 PM).
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Originally Posted by Rai View Post
I guess yuri wasn't the right word because I don't like porn either. I mean, in general, that two girls being together (holding hands, kissing, etc.) just makes more sense to me.

But speaking of yuri... In the Tales Of Graces games, there is a a guy character named Yuri and I always crack up about it. To make it even funnier, it is a Japanese game and he looks like a girl x3
I definitely think that two women in love is a beautiful thing. Not to sound biased or anything, but in all honesty, I don't know why, but I feel really weird around a straight couple kissing. Like I always think about how the guy's lips would feel, and I always think they'd feel cold and gross because he is a guy. That is just how gay I am right there.

Haha Yuri is a girl name in Japan, too!
  #3566    
Old April 8th, 2013 (7:08 PM).
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@Insomniac: I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GUY AT FIRST! *cries*

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homosexuality is often seen as unnatural
I wrote an essay for English once about LGBT rights, and I disproved this thought using science and observations of animals in their natural and enclosed habitats.
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  #3567    
Old April 8th, 2013 (7:33 PM). Edited April 8th, 2013 by Rai.
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I definitely think that two women in love is a beautiful thing. Not to sound biased or anything, but in all honesty, I don't know why, but I feel really weird around a straight couple kissing. Like I always think about how the guy's lips would feel, and I always think they'd feel cold and gross because he is a guy. That is just how gay I am right there.

Haha Yuri is a girl name in Japan, too!

Two women in love is the most beautiful thing in the world to me. And yeah, I can relate to that. If I ever try to imagine myself being with a guy, my brain is like NO. It just feels wrong.

And I know, it is just ironic x3


Quote:
Originally Posted by FenrirDarkWolf View Post
@Insomniac: I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GUY AT FIRST! *cries*

I wrote an essay for English once about LGBT rights, and I disproved this thought using science and observations of animals in their natural and enclosed habitats.
LMFAO I am sorry, that was funny.

And awesome! I have written a bunch of papers on gay rights. My favorite one is when I wrote about how America is behind a lot of other countries when it comes to civil rights- Spain, South Africa, etc. all have gay marriage.

And speaking about animals, have you guys heard of the gay penguin couple in Germany? :3
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  #3568    
Old April 8th, 2013 (7:36 PM).
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@Rai:
Yes, I did read about them and it was so CUTE!
Sorry, sorry, I'm crazy and I like male-on-male stuff.
And I have a slinking suspicious that one of my friends does too....
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  #3569    
Old April 8th, 2013 (8:13 PM). Edited April 8th, 2013 by Alice.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
It's kind of weird if you think about it - homosexuality is often seen as unnatural and like it makes no sense whatsoever, but a homosexual's porn habits make a lot more instant sense than a straight person's do.
I've always preferred either guy/guy or girl/girl, not a fan of straight porn at all... I guess that makes sense, being bisexual?


I've always thought of gay couples as having much more pure/innocent relationships, because I have they have to overcome all these extra challenges to be together, and so their love must be much stronger than a straight person who can just go bang whoever they want without having to worry about it. I'm sure that's not really true in the real world, but I can dream can't I?
  #3570    
Old April 8th, 2013 (8:32 PM).
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I think it's times like this I'm pretty sure my family won't mind that I'm bi, even though I really haven't came out to them yet...

The thing I'm most scared of is telling them I have a boyfriend already, and the bigger thing is distance, and age difference.
He lives in Pennsylvania, and I like in Texas, and he's 19, and I'm 15.
And, it scares the hell out of me to say this. I talked to a friend earlier, and she said to tell them that I have one, but not mention the age, because, that's my biggest fear, is that we'll be separated...

i.e.
@PhantomX0990: I sorta know what you're going through, but sorta don't at the same time.
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  #3571    
Old April 8th, 2013 (9:20 PM). Edited April 8th, 2013 by Rai.
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I've always thought of gay couples as having much more pure/innocent relationships, because I have they have to overcome all these extra challenges to be together.
I agree completely. Do you know how hard it is for a gay couple to adopt? They have to do so much in order to get a child, unlike straight couples who can have a child whenever they want.

@PhantomX0990

I am sorry your parents aren't very supportive. But if you truly want to be with this woman, you are going to have to let them know. That is why I came out to my mom- I knew I wanted to be with women and I didn't want to hide that from her. It was worth it in the end- I have a girlfriend that I have been dating for 3 and half years. Everyone in my family knows and they really like her. Even if you are scared of how they will react, it will be a big weight off of your shoulders, especially if you want to have a long term relationship with this woman.

I think your mom will be able to accept it. If she could put her insecurities aside for her friend, then she will be able to do the same for you, her daughter. I think the idea of having her Facebook friend ease her into it would be very helpful. It would make it less shocking to your mom and you would also have someone else on your side. But first you need to make sure you can trust and rely on her.

And you won't regret it. Even if your family does not react well at first, it will be worth it in the end. You will feel revealed and like there is less on your plate. The anxiety beforehand is the worst- believe me, I know, but once you go through with it, you will feel much better.
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  #3572    
Old April 9th, 2013 (8:57 AM).
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Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
I've always thought of gay couples as having much more pure/innocent relationships, because I have they have to overcome all these extra challenges to be together, and so their love must be much stronger than a straight person who can just go bang whoever they want without having to worry about it. I'm sure that's not really true in the real world, but I can dream can't I?
... unless you live in San Francisco. No, I mean it. My friend who lived there for a while has told me a whole lot about some of the things that go on there when you know where to go and who to talk to. Like bars that have a weekly underwear night.

But I know what you mean. When you're talking about a loving, committed relationship then it's harder.

Quote:
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*snip*
You have to live your own life. You can't live your life for them. It's sad that your mom wanted a lot of kids and couldn't have a lot, but that can't be changed. It's sad that you were raised by parents who you couldn't come out to, but that can be changed. You can't just become straight. It's your life, and a rather personal part of your life so no one should be making you feel bad for who you love. Not your family, and not you yourself by worrying that they'll take it badly. I don't know how much your family means to you, but I think it's better to risk their anger and hatred by being who you are and standing up for who you love than to hide it.
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Old April 9th, 2013 (12:58 PM).
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Talking about porn on a Pokémon forum. Because why the hell not?

@PhantomX0990: Very sorry to hear about your situation. As I've said before, if your mom really loves you, she'll accept you for who you are even if they don't agree with it. In a perfect world we could be free to be ourselves without anyone batting an eye, but this isn't a perfect world and with some people, tolerance is the best you can hope for. In the end, you're just going to have to get it over with and deal with the consequences. Whatever happens, I'm sure you'll feel a lot better after getting everything out in the open. You have to live your own life and do what makes you happy, and if anyone objects then it's their problem. And congratulations on finding someone, I hope you have a long and happy relationship.
  #3574    
Old April 9th, 2013 (2:43 PM).
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@ PhantomX0990...

I dunno if it helps much, but... we're all rootin' for ya, hard as we can! Like little rainbow-coloured plants. Or a cheerleading squad! Yeah, an international cheerleading squad. *pumps pom-poms* The human pyramid might be a bit difficult when half the squad are on different continents, but whatevs, we'll work something out.

Which is all to say, you're brilliant, I really hope your friend helps you, and you are being incredibly brave. Chin up, we all think you're awesome. :D
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Old April 9th, 2013 (2:45 PM).
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*reads response*

Oh geez, what in the world did I start?

ANYWAYS IGNORING BLUSH INDUCING DISCUSSIONS

I am freaking the **** out. Like. I'm twitching. Seriously. Freaking. Complete like, anxiety hooplah and a 'holy****holy****' mantra.

So... I've been very open here, which is great and all. Real life? Well, I keep myself to myself usually and don't bring things up.

You might remember me mentioning that I've been dating this amazing woman who I am totally twitterpated with. It's been months now... and honestly, I can see this being a very long term thing. I mean, I'm not being all crazy and stuff, but honestly, barring something pretty nasty happening or something, I can really see myself in the long run with her. It's been four, almost five, months, which is already in and of itself a fairly decent amount of time.

And I've been keeping it secret that entire time save for my few select friends. They've been awesome about it, even the ones I was nervous about.

But family is another story. My parents... yeah.

First, my father. He has a temper. A very strong temper, one that I had issues with growing up and is the reason I was more than happy to quit college and move out at eighteen. He is very against anything, I repeat ANYTHING having to do with LGBT. They have a very nice lesbian couple living across the street. Very nice people. The things he says about them though... I think I have scars on my tongue from biting it.

My mother... knows. Or at least she should know that I am not exactly straight. I think most people here know my 'coming out story'; if it could be called that. She is in denial. Has been for years. She will not speak of it. Worst part is... she loves kids. She wanted a big family, but she had cancer and could not have more kids, leaving her with just me. She's always ranting about how much she wants grandchildren. She even goes to joke that I should just 'find a guy' and then she'd take care of the child. I'm not joking. Yes, I see it's wrong too, but there's a sadness to it. Thing is... it's not exactly the easiest thing in the world for a same sex couple to have kids... at least I'm pretty sure biology doesn't work like that. I think this is what would devestate her the most. (Yes I know there are other ways, but you know what I'm talking about.)

My grandma I know would be sad, but she wouldn't hold it against me. (I seriously love my gran)

My mom is the one I'm most terrified of. Her best friend recently came out in a rather... different fashion. Her husband cheated on her with her sister. She has three kids. They divorced. Shortly after the divorce and getting a life again she came out. My mother had a fit. She said it felt gross to talk to her, and that she almost didn't want to anymore. And 'prayed' for her non stop.

But for some reason, my mom pulled through. She and this friend have known each other since I was four. She said she wasn't going to give up one of her oldest friends for something like that. Which is promising.

But I want a pair of ears for advice. So I messaged this friend of my mother's on facebook. Not telling her what was going on, but to tell her I had to tell her something, that must be kept between us at all costs. Perhaps this friend can ease my mom into the idea, or help her out. I know my mom values her as a friend, as a sister, so this might be a way to help make the steps to finally telling her the straight up truth.

Either way. It's wrong to keep my girlfriend in the dark from the rest of my life, and it's going to come out. I'm just trying to set up a process. If this friend of my mom blabs now, I'm possibly ruined. (I mean my mom knows, but her state of denial is like she's wearing rose colored contacts that were lasered into her eyeballs, I swear.)

I'm crossing my fingers and hoping trust prevails. **** please let me not regret making this step. It's like pretty much my relationship with my small family unit is being held over a fire. Either this woman can be trusted, or not, or she refuses to with hold info and I have to find a way to tell them myself.

Either way I'm twitchy.
Good luck. Seriously, all the luck in the world to you please.

I am currently fretting over whether or not I should do the same thing (tell my family) but it seems like your mom already knows so that's a head start I guess.
 
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