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  #1    
Old April 24th, 2013 (4:11 PM).
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Yes sirs and dames, the thread for snappy comebacks, and witty retorts galore!
How talented are you at the nimbleness of the mouth and mind?
What was your best sharp tongued reply?

Answer, if you can.
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  #2    
Old April 24th, 2013 (7:02 PM).
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I'm not very good at making comebacks, to be honest. Does it count that my best friend hit me with a tennis ball so I promised I'd hit her back and I did? I suck at this.
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  #3    
Old April 24th, 2013 (7:07 PM).
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I don't like retorting. Which means I don't answer back when somebody offends me. It's not in my protocol to do that.
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  #4    
Old April 24th, 2013 (8:44 PM).
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I vary from epic to terrible when it comes to comebacks, depends on how awake I am and how ready for a back-and-forth I am. I can't remember a specific one but I my best retorts are usually sarcastic remarks about what the first person said.
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  #5    
Old April 24th, 2013 (9:20 PM).
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I can't do comebacks. I just keep it real by calling them out for whatever stupid came out of their mouth.
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  #6    
Old April 24th, 2013 (9:45 PM).
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I love snapping back with a witty comeback if someone decides to belittle me or put me intentionally in a uncomfortable position in a hostile manner. I do know when to and not to talk back, but when it comes to siblings, cousins, friends, peers etc, I don't hold back once someone initiates the insults. 8)
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  #7    
Old April 25th, 2013 (4:01 AM).
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I always seem to think of comeback a little too late..
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  #8    
Old April 25th, 2013 (4:44 AM).
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I think of quite a few good ones now and again.

Mom: "Get me stuff."
Me: "..."
*an hour later*
Mom: "Okay, imagine if I was in your position and you asked me to do stuff and I never listened to you. What would you do?"
Me: "I'd get up and do it myself."

She never expected an answer from me at all.
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  #9    
Old April 25th, 2013 (4:45 AM).
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I'm great at finding comebacks in less than a second. I always have the last word in those kind of stuffs.

I won't post the best comeback I had, because it's kinda insulting, lol.
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  #10    
Old April 25th, 2013 (4:57 AM).
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My work day consists of other managers and I throwing insults at each other all day, so I'm fully loaded with them.
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  #11    
Old April 25th, 2013 (5:50 AM).
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I always get owned, but when I do find a comeback, it's too late.
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  #12    
Old April 25th, 2013 (10:09 AM). Edited May 9th, 2013 by Sableye~.
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I generally am not in situations that I need to make comebacks. Heck, the last time someone said something that I could have used a comeback, I just turned and began to stare him down. {: Hey, it worked, at least.

I'm good with sarcastic remarks, but I usually use them in the way of making people laugh. You really have to get on my bad side before I switch from amusing to insulting.

The closest I've come recently to a comeback was during a conversation with my older sister. She told me not to be proud that I'm taller than her (despite the large age difference). I replied, "I will be proud that I'm taller...not that it's much of an accomplishment."
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  #13    
Old April 25th, 2013 (11:01 AM).
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I just love ham jerky.
 
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I'm pretty good at comebacks, actually. Depends on how cool the other person is with foul language, to be honest. Sometimes my friends will walk right into a witty retort and I have to do a quick mental check to remember if they're cool with certain types of humor.
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  #14    
Old April 25th, 2013 (11:56 AM).
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I'm pretty horrible at making comebacks but once in a blue moon I come up with some that just floors everyone.

That's super rare though :(
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  #15    
Old April 25th, 2013 (6:55 PM).
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Every now and then I can come up with something incredibly clever that everyone laughs at and amazes everyone. But those times are far and few between and most of the time I will think something but somewhere between thought and mouth the process becomes jumbled and everyone looks at me weird.

And usually my comebacks are only funny in the moment so repeating them makes them lose their humor. :(
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  #16    
Old May 7th, 2013 (7:30 AM).
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Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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If somebody isn't worth my time or energy, my generic comeback is always "you are turning me on so much right now".

It works in most situations lol
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  #17    
Old May 9th, 2013 (5:21 PM).
Shiny Celebi Shiny Celebi is offline
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Im pretty much no good at comebacks, if I dont have a response, I'll just shut my mouth and not say anything.
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