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  #1    
Old April 2nd, 2013, 07:51 AM
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What do you get out of making new friends and maintaining friendships?
What do you get out of being in a romantic relationship?
What necessarily seperates your romantic partner(s) from your friends?
And anything you feel is relevant.

Feel free to invert the questions if that is instead relevant to yourself (ie. why don't you enjoy making new friends? Etc.).
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  #2    
Old April 2nd, 2013, 08:31 AM
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Location: California
I don't really separate my friends from my romantic partners. (Not that I have more than one, but, you know, like over time.) I mean, there is a level of intimacy I don't share with my friends, but a romantic partner for me is just like having a "best" friend who I spend more time with than anyone else. And what I "get" from these relationships is someone to talk with, someone who understands me, and all that other stuff one gets from having human contact: sense of community, fun, etc.

But I'm an introvert so social situations drain me. I don't really like making new friends, or rather maintaining new relationships with new friends, because it means more is taken out from me. I've only got so much I can give in relationships and I prefer to focus on a few, meaningful ones rather than on a lot of less meaningful ones.
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  #3    
Old April 2nd, 2013, 10:42 AM
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Insomniac
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: 221B Baker Street
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What do you get out of making new friends and maintaining friendships?
I get more entertainment and friends to hang out with when I'm bored. More people to talk to. More people to help. More people. The more the merrier. Also if one of my friends is absent I can talk to someone I've made friends with.
What do you get out of being in a romantic relationship?
Butterflies in your stomach. And kisses. And gifts. And just in general, good feelings.. Until you break up
What necessarily separates your romantic partner(s) from your friends?
Romantic partners are for romance.. Friends are for doing stupid **** with.
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  #4    
Old April 2nd, 2013, 11:52 AM
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Sweets Witch
I just love ham jerky.
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Old People Community, USA
Age: 21
Gender: Male
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What do you get out of making new friends and maintaining friendships?
Differing opinions and reactions all around. Sometimes on Facebook I'll say the same thing to three different people and see what each of them says in return, or I'll send them all the same link and see how they react. One man's "omg" is another man's "I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW".

What do you get out of being in a romantic relationship?
Companionship, I suppose. I've been wondering this for a while. I get marriage because it's legally saying "We tolerate each other enough to combine all of our assets" but relationships aren't like that. For a good length of time in a relationship, you've got your separate stuff and they've got their separate stuff and there's no real feeling of "ours".

To actually answer the question, I guess what I get out of it is a sense of companionship and the feeling that to one person in the world I'm just that important.

What necessarily separates your romantic partner(s) from your friends?
Not much. Probably the physicality of it all. If I'm friends with somebody, then I'm totally down for kissing them. Are they alright with it as well? Not necessarily. But if I was in a romantic relationship with someone then at some point or another they'd be okay with it.
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  #5    
Old April 2nd, 2013, 03:50 PM
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For me, I'm of the mindset that less is more. I'd rather have two or three best friends that I'm really close to and comfortable around than a number of friends who are more or less faces in a crowd to me. I do believe that friendship and having friends is an important part of life though. Everyone needs at least someone in their life who they can talk to and feel comfortable around. Someone they can relate to.

I can't say there's much that separates my relationship between my best friends and someone who I'm romantically involved with other than being more intimate. Not than I'm in a relationship with anyone now, but when I know them, they're like a best friend to me. I feel comfortable around them, I feel like I can do whatever I want and not be judged by them. They're my best friend but something more.

I generally try to maintain the friendships I already have. No matter how many friends or acquaintances I make, there's always going to be that one friend or that core group of friends that I'm particularly closer to. They are the ones that are going to know me on a more personal level than some. That doesn't mean I'm not open to making new friends though or that any new friends I make will never get to know me on some deeper level. On the contrary, I do enjoy meeting new people and getting the chance to know some of them.
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  #6    
Old April 3rd, 2013, 12:18 PM
Shiny Celebi
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Well I dont really have all that many friends so I dunno if I can really explain what I get out of that lol.
Out of my relationship, I feel I get a person that I feel I can always confide in and someone to love and trust and spend my time with.

Romantic partners are different than friendship because romance is different. I feel its a more powerful thing than being a friend.
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  #7    
Old April 6th, 2013, 01:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
What necessarily separates your romantic partner(s) from your friends?
Romantic partners are for romance.. Friends are for doing stupid **** with.
What makes you disinclined to do both things with both groups?
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  #8    
Old April 6th, 2013, 08:04 AM
Patchisou Yutohru
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I get a companion out of making new friends. I enjoy making new friends, because its an entirely new person I can learn about. I have a habit of, when I make a new friend, I tend to focus more on them than I do the friends that I've had for much longer, though. I like the feeling of companionship and I like the feeling of learning I have someone who will be there for me and I enjoy the feeling of being there for them.

This is going to sound really terrible, but what I get out of being in a romantic relationship is pretty much the same but I also have the feeling of being tied down to them and being expected to put them ahead of everyone else and drop everything for them and I really don't like that. I've only been in two relationships in my life, and while I care deeply about the two of them, I remember feeling like I couldn't really step outside of that box I put myself in. I don't want to say that I felt trapped, but I had a feeling of guilt if I didn't do something that I wouldn't necessarily feel with a friend.

I don't currently have a romantic partner, so there's nothing there to separate them from my friends, and I'm not really sure what separates the two in general. I'm pretty much doing the same thing with both groups of people. And, so far, my romantic partners came from people who I have been friends with for a long time. I guess the difference is the feeling I get when I'm with them. I'm happy around my friends, but when I'm around someone I'm in a romantic relationship, I feel excited, happy, slightly nervous and anxious, and things that make me feel a little more complete.
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  #9    
Old April 6th, 2013, 09:27 AM
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Terabyte
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Florida
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Nature: Jolly
What do you get out of making new friends and maintaining friendships?
What I get is the perks of being a very social person. Back then, I was probably the most bashful person you'd meet at school. But ever since high school (and mostly my senior year in high school), I have been a person that one could socialize with. I have been able to hide the fact that I once was a shy person and usually I talk to people who are willing to talk with me in a cooperative manner. Every now and then, though, I run across people who "want to be" my friend, but I ignore them because of the way they approach me.

What do you get out of being in a romantic relationship?
Love. I have never had a girlfriend until senior year in high school, which some may consider a "late bloomer". The two of us have a lot in common with common thoughts and common goals that we're basically inseparable.

What necessarily seperates your romantic partner(s) from your friends?
What separates us is the way we act to each other. Not sure how else I can say it..
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  #10    
Old April 8th, 2013, 05:45 PM
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Making new friends is never a conscious effort on my part, so I have never really thought too deeply about what I get out of it. It just sort of seems to happen when I least expect it, but then afterwards I'm almost always glad it did. Maintaining friendships is definitely a rewarding experience, even if I can be a bit too enthusiastic about it at times. When I make a new friend I generally wanna hang out with them all the time and it sometimes comes at the expense of maintaining the other relationships in my life. I guess with every person the friendship experience is different. You do different things, have different conversations, and it renews you a bit. It makes you different too. That's what I get out of it, anyway.

As for romantic relationships, I'll let you know when I have one
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  #11    
Old April 8th, 2013, 08:06 PM
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Ardent
I'm Alive
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Aoi Sekai
Age: 18
Gender: Male
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What do you get out of making new friends and maintaining friendships?
Generally? Picking their brain. :x
Usually I just keep to myself, but when I do make a friend I suppose the companionship, having a counterbalance, and the morality that it makes me remember.
And if not that, somebody to talk to.

What do you get out of not making new friends and maintaining friendships?
Solitude, not having to explain what i'm doing and or thinking, and more badassery.
I'm usually toned down by like 50% when i'm with a friend. :I

Romance is not a common theme in my life.
In fact, not one at all.
I just have yet to meet anyone who attracts me in that sort of way.
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  #12    
Old April 19th, 2013, 08:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZachLMedia View Post
What do you get out of making new friends and maintaining friendships?
What I get is the perks of being a very social person.
What would those be?


Quote:
Originally Posted by ZachLMedia View Post
What necessarily seperates your romantic partner(s) from your friends?
What separates us is the way we act to each other. Not sure how else I can say it..
If it's any help, I'm wondering why there are the social norms of having one partner, and treating them differently to one's friends; why people feel that behaviour is appropriate. Ultimately, I would like to encourage greater openness and introspection on the matter, because I disbelieve that being 'brought up that way' is a valid answer for anything.
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  #13    
Old April 19th, 2013, 09:16 PM
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where the fairy flies
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Alabama
Gender: Female
Nature: Timid
It's difficult for me to make friends in the first place, but when I actually do have friends, it's someone I can talk to and joke with and hopefully make them laugh. I like to make people laugh. Makes me happy, and apparently them! But anyway, I'm not that great at maintaining friendships because I just...really don't know how, I guess? I'm not sure how to explain it.

Romantic partners are generally the same...now anyway. I used to feel differently about romantic partners and I wish I could describe that to you, but I really...don't remember what it felt like. I have a boyfriend now, but he's not that much different than having a friend, except this one I cuddle with haha. But we know each other quite personally and I can talk to him about things no one else wants to talk about with me (like bodily functions!) so there's that. I have a romantic partner to talk about burping with, is what I'm basically saying. Yeeeah. lol I kind of agree with Nick on the feeling tied down thing though. In person, I don't like the feeling of being restricted or held back, so I definitely don't like that feeling emotionally either. I don't really get that feeling very often in the relationship I'm in now though, thankfully.

Also, I know most people tend to put partners over friends, but I'm kind of opposite. I love my closest friends dearly and would do almost anything for them, but I haven't even said something like that to my boyfriend. -shrug- Dunno what that's about though.
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  #14    
Old April 20th, 2013, 10:48 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Cuddling those close to me
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Nature: Gentle
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What do you get out of making new friends and maintaining friendships?
People to talk to. I'm not what you'd consider to be a highly social person, quite the opposite actually. I'm not anti-social, I just don't always want to partake in social interactions. Gaining a friend does offer opportunities however to be social and such, and usually they've got similar interests to my own, so naturally it's easier to talk to them about things and get to know them if you share something you enjoy.

What do you get out of being in a romantic relationship?
Love. Both given and received. Intimacy is very often involved, but need not always be.

What necessarily separates your romantic partner(s) from your friends?
With a friend, you can share many things but there's often no feelings of love to be shared, or as it is often in my case, the love is simply one-sided because they have another love interest or just don't believe themselves to be compatible with you. There's simply little that can be done in that case. I don't search for the mythical exit to the friend zone when I get put there, I move on.

With a romantic partner, you can share many things and so much more. There's no longer any barrier, and you know that they love you as well. Intimacy is often a hallmark of romantic partnership, but may not always be. Some friendships are strong enough to allow intimacy, but this is not something most people would logically expect to happen, as it is somewhat uncommon and viewed in a bad light in a number of cultures. Generally speaking, most friendships that reach this level are probably romantic anyways...or implies that they have romantic intent, even if one does not wish to appear to do so. Romantic partners are often capable of sharing more with each other anyways, especially emotionally where it oftentimes really counts. This sometimes makes for a rocky road, but other times it makes life all the more livable and appreciable.

In essence, a romantic partner is ideally someone you consider to be the most treasured friend you have. Everyone is different though, and reasons for treasuring a friend are as varied as the colors we see, so it may not always be obvious even if it commonly is.
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  #15    
Old May 10th, 2013, 05:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Sydian View Post
I have a boyfriend now, but he's not that much different than having a friend, except this one I cuddle with haha.
Would you cuddle with normal friends?.. Well, I don't mean to pose that as a personal question; rather, would you have anything principally against the notion?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydian View Post
Also, I know most people tend to put partners over friends, but I'm kind of opposite. I love my closest friends dearly and would do almost anything for them, but I haven't even said something like that to my boyfriend. -shrug- Dunno what that's about though.
Wasn't he your friend before becoming your boyfriend? If he wasn't I would like to know what the basis may be for entering a relationship with someone you don't already know well.
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  #16    
Old May 13th, 2013, 01:28 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Netherlands
Age: 20
What do you get out of making new friends and maintaining friendships?
Someone to discuss with, laugh with, kill time with. Does anyone really prefer drinking alone? A friend to me is someone who you have things in common with, the same sense of humour for example, makes your conversations better than those with someone you don't consider a friend.

What do you get out of being in a romantic relationship?
Physical intimacy, stronger sense of devotion than a regular friend.

What necessarily seperates your romantic partner(s) from your friends?
See above. A partner is just someone you've chosen to be that "special friend" that you share all those extra benefits with.
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  #17    
Old May 13th, 2013, 03:12 PM
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Munch?
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Nature: Serious
What do you get out of making new friends and maintaining friendships?
I've done well with maintaining friendships I've had for a while, but its been difficult to maintain newer ones. Maybe because its just too much work to keep up with new friends . I'm satisfied with my old friends though.
What do you get out of being in a romantic relationship?
I want my girlfriend to also be my closest friend. I've had 2 previous relationships and neither were like this.
What necessarily seperates your romantic partner(s) from your friends?
I guess just a different level of closeness. Also the physicality.
Just a side note... I really want to be close friend with a girl before we get in a relationship.
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